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Down Home #1
Down Low
His broken bones could finally mend their broken bond…
Bull riding was the only thing that calmed the thrill-seeking, self-destructive beast inside of Calvin Craig. It allowed him to escape a small-minded town and the pain of his troubled youth, fleeing to bright lights and big city fame without looking back.
One trip on the horns of the wrong bull changed everything.
Cal is forced to come crawling back home for the first time in ten years, his body broken and riding days behind him. But not everyone is happy for the return of their local celebrity.
Eli Jackson was once the tall, dark, and sinful preacher’s son who had Cal wrapped around his little finger. Now the steely-eyed sheriff of Sweetwater, Eli is hell bent on running him right back out of town. He’s never forgiven Cal for the spectacular implosion of their relationship. Even though the lingering tension soon has them burning up the sheets, he refuses to be tamed.
Cal is surprised to find himself rising to a new challenge: breaking the bull that is Eli Jackson.
He might have run out of luck, but he’s not out of miracles… yet.
Bull riding was the only thing that calmed the thrill-seeking, self-destructive beast inside of Calvin Craig. It allowed him to escape a small-minded town and the pain of his troubled youth, fleeing to bright lights and big city fame without looking back.
One trip on the horns of the wrong bull changed everything.
Cal is forced to come crawling back home for the first time in ten years, his body broken and riding days behind him. But not everyone is happy for the return of their local celebrity.
Eli Jackson was once the tall, dark, and sinful preacher’s son who had Cal wrapped around his little finger. Now the steely-eyed sheriff of Sweetwater, Eli is hell bent on running him right back out of town. He’s never forgiven Cal for the spectacular implosion of their relationship. Even though the lingering tension soon has them burning up the sheets, he refuses to be tamed.
Cal is surprised to find himself rising to a new challenge: breaking the bull that is Eli Jackson.
He might have run out of luck, but he’s not out of miracles… yet.
238 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 28, 2020
469 people are currently reading
2643 people want to read
About the author
Parker St. John
19 books508 followersGay romance author living in the rainy Pacific Northwest who adores strong alpha men, rugged cowboys, blue collar smokeshows, mortal enemies and childhood friends who will make you SWOON when they fall in love!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 605 reviews
July 6, 2021
I feel exhausted after reading this book.
December 17, 2023
This isn’t a bad second-chance romance.
No.
In fact, it’s the worst second-chance romance I have read.
Honestly, I’ve been trying to write more reviews before the year ends because I won’t be as active on this site next year for reasons, so that’s the only reason I’m writing this.
I knew what I was getting into in terms of the angst, the characters, the drama, and everything that makes this story what it is. I read enough mixed reviews to understand what I was getting into, which did help. I was ready to read about a shitload of angst. I was ready for the drama. I was ready to read about a grown man feeling miserable. I was ready for a second chance between two men who got separated due to a misunderstanding when they were teenagers. I was ready to enjoy this despite what people said.
That isn’t what I got, though.
Instead, I got this.
A pathetic excuse of a second chance romance, Down Low follows Cal as he returns to his small town after ten years due to an unfortunate accident that ruined his bull riding career.
Second-chance romances are tricky and challenging to pull off. This story made me realize why I don’t read them, and I think I unconsciously avoid them.
The most significant issue, and the rest of the problems, is the need for more chemistry and relationship development. There is hardly any on-page time for Eli and Cal, and any moment they spend together passes through explosive arguments, rough, unwanted kissing, or stubborn attitudes. I could not tell you a single moment these two had where they didn’t spend arguing with each other about their past and how it clashes with the present. The lack of development makes it difficult to see how these two get their second chance. Instead, it felt like the author put these two together just because of their past, which is so lazy. Putting two people together because of their history will not enforce tension. Constant lack of communication, push and pull, and continuous bickering aren’t an issue. The issue is how there is no conversation outside, there are no moments of catching up, and then everything is solved through sexual tension. With Cal and Eli not seeing each other for ten years after spending two years in love when they were teenagers, I expected them to spend time with each other, no matter their stubborn attitudes and explosive demeanors. Instead, we’re thrown into some melodrama, an anticlimactic process of two stubborn idiots who cannot, at their age, talk without making things worse, refuse to speak, and fall into a repeated cycle of a mess of miscommunication and misunderstandings.
Some may say it’s part of the angst, and I agree. I’m all for angst, push-and-pull relationships, fights, and stubborn people. I’m all for drama. I came for the drama. I read the negative reviews and was ready to enjoy the ride of what everyone considered a flaw here. Some know I want these stories. I enjoy angst. I enjoy getting in my feelings and crying about fictional characters. But unfortunately, for a story featuring cowboys and bulls and horses, there was nothing to ride. I can understand how and why some readers call this angsty, with Cal’s inner monologue being pretty miserable, full of self-doubt and constant self-hatred, self-blame, and self-judgment. But I don’t know if it’s because I’ve read more angsty stories than this, but I was expecting more angst. I was expecting a full 10.5-inch plate of angst, and instead just got a side 6-inch plate. The angst here is the boring kind that doesn’t make the story move up. It’s not the kind that gives the characters hope as a couple but no hope for them to move on despite their self-sabotage and stubbornness. No. The angst here is the kind that keeps pushing them backward with no steps forward. It’s not the kind to give me hope that there is something between them, but they refuse to open up and take it. It’s the kind that causes drama for 90% of the way through, only for the 10% left to be wrapped up perfectly content as if the characters don’t have unfinished conversations to get through, as if they don’t have actual unfinished business that doesn’t involve sex, as if the characters don’t have catching up to do. It’s the kind that keeps pushing them backward with no steps forward. Everything is okay and dandy.
The second chance is irrelevant. If it weren’t for the flashbacks at the beginning of each other (which I liked) and constant reminders that Cal walked away from Eli or that Eli walked away from Cal, I would’ve forgotten this is a second-chance romance. We don’t see a second chance happen. These two had ONE decent conversation, and every other conversation was full of arguments and rage. No development occurred and took place. We don’t see these two act out the second chance, no moments where they catch up and get to know each other again. What’s the point of a second chance if all their feelings are going to be based on physical lust and past feelings? Considering they hadn’t seen each other in ten years, you would think these two would have lots of catching up to do and making up, but nope! Just fights here and there, and make-up sex, and more fights and arguments, and more rough kissing, and more fights, and more pushing and pulling and pushing and pulling. A never-ending cycle. Suddenly, all is okay, and everything is wrapping up. They’re confessing love and feelings and promising forever—the end.
Both leads are one-dimensional. There’s not enough characterization to give us an idea of who these two men are besides former lovers, gay, a former bull rider, a pastor’s son turned cop, and stubborn. There aren’t enough traits given to them to give them personality besides their miserable behavior. There is no chance or hope of character development.
I also found myself on Cal’s side much more than everyone else. Cal’s situation isn’t the worst, although I couldn’t choose his side whenever he assumed he'd had it worse. His self-depreciation was tiring, but it didn’t become too much to make me feel miserable. I applaud the author for making me sympathize with him more than the rest of the town, including Eli. I couldn’t understand why everyone thought (okay, mostly Eli and his sister) thought they could be such assholes to him. In my opinion, Cal was misunderstood, which has always been my favorite type of character. I wasn’t a fan of how his abusive childhood was glossed over and forgotten by those in the town. His sister, Faith, blamed him for leaving her but refused to understand his origins.
On the other hand, Eli blamed Cal for leaving him without a word. Both characters were selfish, aggravating, and lacked understanding of the situation. No matter how much Cal tried, he was the one to blame. Because it was his fault for sending so much money back home to Faith, only for her to spend it on drugs and get pregnant with a bum loser. Because it’s his fault he left home after their uncle constantly abused him, and if he hadn’t left, he’d be dead or in jail for murder. Because it’s his fault Cal couldn’t let himself be a dirty secret for Eli. Because it’s his fault, Eli decided to come out to his father the night he walked away from Cal, only to blame him for the rest of their ten years, ignoring the fact that he was too late. Because it’s his fault, Cal had to spend all his money on his hospital bills after getting hurt because he had no one to help him. Because it’s his fault, he wanted a better life than his small town offered.
I do believe this author’s writing is beautiful. Her first sex scene was roughly intimate, tender, and explosive. The descriptions are enough to give you an idea of the imagery for the characters and the location. There’s enough showing to show what the characters are feeling and experiencing.
It’s sad to say it, but you can skim this story and not miss anything about the two main leads because nothing between them besides fighting and having sex happens.
Here’s how it went:
10% - Cal and Eli see each other for the first time in ten years. There’s hate, resentment, and rage. Eli gives him a ride because he “can’t have vagrants in his town.”
15% - Cal reunited with his sister, Faith. She hates him and is a bitch to him because “he left and left her to fend for herself,” but let’s ignore the reasons for that, yeah?
19% - We learn that ALL the money Cal sent to Faith was not just spent on the funeral for their abusive, shitty Uncle Kirk and bills, but Faith spent it on drugs and got pregnant with a useless man who is abusive and has a restraining order. But sure, Faith, blame Cal. Blame him for leaving because it’s not like he was being abused constantly, every day, by your uncle. And all the money he sent you wasn’t enough. It’s not like he also has his own life to worry about. But yeah, let’s blame him because he left, and you choose not to understand and accept his reasons.
29% - Cal and Eli see each other for the second time when Eli stops Cal because he is texting and driving. There’s some “sexual tension” the author probably tried to add here, but I didn’t feel it. It was probably supposed to be here because of the dialogue, and they kissed for the first time. Rough. They’re sexually tense.
33% - Cal sees Cody, the useless abusive ass who got Faith pregnant and is here to take back his home. Cal beats him up. Badly. Cal is locked up. Eli sees him. So they see each other for the third time. Still no actual, proper conversation. Their conversation is about their past and how one walked away and blah blah blah.
38% - Cal and Eli see each other for the fourth time. Still no talking. Cal sees Eli laughing and shit with Tucker Grace, the one he beat the living shit out of when they were kids, because Tucker also beat the living shit out of Cal because he’s gay. Awesome.
46% - Cal just walked for a long time in the rain after rescuing Abby and West. His knee is fucked up badly. He threw up because of the pain. He’s a mess and disgusting. Eli finds him. They see each other for the fifth time. Cal is being stubborn. He finally accepts help, and Eli gives him a ride.
50% - They have unfinished business, you know?
53%-57% - Sex scene. First sex scene. Still no actual conversation. Some jealousy is useless and doesn’t give any feeling because these two have no development or tension. No chemistry whatsoever. The sex was intimate, in my opinion, but it still felt useless. Let’s not forget the fact that Cal just walked in the rain for what we assume are hours after rescuing Abby and West, so his knee is fucked up even more, he’s dirty and disgusting, he’s in pain, he just threw up, and he needs rest. But no, everything is okay. He took some inflammatory pills and some mouthwash, so all is well. It’s not like his knee is essential to holding him up and constantly giving him pain. Nope, none of that.
59% - Cal says something that makes Eli snap. They explode again. More blowing up. More fighting. More arguing. Useless dialogue that should make me feel something. Usually, I’d appreciate and love a fighting scene, but not this kind because there’s no chemistry or tension between these two.
Chapter 19 - 60% in - I’m wondering when the the fuck the chemistry for these two will pop up. It's more than halfway through, and still no hint or sign of development and chemistry. They’ve had sex once, and every scene between the two before that has been spent arguing (about the past, both blaming each other, how Cal is stubborn, how Eli walked away, same ol’).
68% - So we’re probably supposed to feel bad for Eli here because we find out he did come out to his father. Only it was after Cal left. He walked away from Cal only to return home and come out to his father that night. And now Cal is telling himself that Eli came out for him. Right, cause the timing is just perfect!
69% - Eli and Cal see each other for the sixth time. They fight a little, with Cal being mad at Eli for not telling him he came out to him. Eli finally tells him the truth and how he went looking for Cal the next day only to find him gone. Eli is blaming Cal, saying he left him without a word. Once again, only Cal is to blame, as if it wasn’t Eli who fucking walked away from Cal. Not to mention that Cal did tell him he wouldn’t be hiding and doing this; he gave him an ultimatum. Eli knew; he didn’t want to admit it because he was also proud and stubborn.
71% - They’re having a decent conversation for once. A long overdue one. One that could’ve happened long before had they talked instead of exploding or turning to sex. A conversation that could have easily saved this entire story and made the second chance work more. And Cal apologizes to Eli, but Eli doesn’t and just acknowledges it? So he’s not going to apologize, too? Oh, look! And it ended with a kiss.
73% Oh, look at that! The next chapter is a sex scene. I didn’t know one conversation at the 73% mark was enough to fix everything. There’s still no chemistry and nothing to root for. The jealousy and possessiveness are worthless.
76% - “I love you.” GOODFUCKINGBYE.
76% - We are told they walk hand in hand downtown and make love again, but we don’t see this. Awesome. Just great. Lovely. Super! It adds SO MUCH to the two men's nonexistent chemistry. It REALLY helps with relationship development. Since there’s no development and a massive lack of chemistry, not seeing anything helps A LOT to see it grow. I just love them SO MUCH. They’re finally talking without exploding, so that’s something, at least. Improvement. Yay!
80% - Aaaaand we’re back to square one! Cal said something to Eli’s father (currently in the hospital) that upset Eli, and Eli is giving him the cold shoulder, back-turned treatment. Amazing. More lack of communication. Oh, they’re fighting! Surprise surprise. That’s all this 28-year-old and 30-year-old can do. They can’t hold a single conversation without bursting. Cal says he returned home for Eli, but I can’t believe that. He just didn’t have another choice.
“Yeah, well…” Eli sighed, and the resignation in the sound hurt worse than anything Cal had faced in the arena. “In the end, that’s all left between us, Cal. Nothing but lust and unfinished business.”
Well, he’s not wrong.
84% - Cal is leaving. Running away. Again. When they said that’s all he’s good at, it seemed like they meant it. He competes in bull riding again to make money for Eli’s father’s hospital bills.
91% - So anticlimactic. So bizarre. So confusing. Eli ended up going to the competition. There’s supposed to be some cute and loving connection here to their past, with Eli coming out of nowhere and catching Cal just like he did when they were young, but I don't feel anything about how there is still no chemistry between these two. Considering 9% of the story is left, I don’t think anything will change. The story is rushing to wrap up. 96% - Epilogue. The end. I still wouldn’t be able to tell you a single thing about these two’s relationship besides the basics: they argue and have sex cause that’s all they can do.
Overall, I’m not a fan, despite actually looking forward to reading this. In an update, I was thankful for the negative reviews because they gave me an idea of what to expect for this (angst-wise), but I felt nothing for the characters and nothing for the romance. Sure, I was on Cal’s side, but I didn’t exactly love him, and I still think he lacked development. We don’t see him think of himself differently in the entire book until the end. No matter how angsty he made the story, it came off as too miserable for me, with no proper development. And then Eli was no better, of course. Too selfish for my liking, uncaring, raging, and overall plain rude. Nothing about this story was enjoyable, so my experience reading it was not good.
Now, don’t mind me as I dive into book two because:
1) I loved Lane in this story. He was one of the only characters with the reasoning in this story, making the novel a bit likable and easier to read. I’m excited to see his second chance, although I’m worried because people say it’s a carbon copy of this one.
2) I’m a series masochist, and if I don’t finish this series now, I never will, or I’ll continue putting it off for no actual, correct, believable reason. I might as well get it over with now.
No.
In fact, it’s the worst second-chance romance I have read.
Honestly, I’ve been trying to write more reviews before the year ends because I won’t be as active on this site next year for reasons, so that’s the only reason I’m writing this.
I knew what I was getting into in terms of the angst, the characters, the drama, and everything that makes this story what it is. I read enough mixed reviews to understand what I was getting into, which did help. I was ready to read about a shitload of angst. I was ready for the drama. I was ready to read about a grown man feeling miserable. I was ready for a second chance between two men who got separated due to a misunderstanding when they were teenagers. I was ready to enjoy this despite what people said.
That isn’t what I got, though.
Instead, I got this.
A pathetic excuse of a second chance romance, Down Low follows Cal as he returns to his small town after ten years due to an unfortunate accident that ruined his bull riding career.
Second-chance romances are tricky and challenging to pull off. This story made me realize why I don’t read them, and I think I unconsciously avoid them.
The most significant issue, and the rest of the problems, is the need for more chemistry and relationship development. There is hardly any on-page time for Eli and Cal, and any moment they spend together passes through explosive arguments, rough, unwanted kissing, or stubborn attitudes. I could not tell you a single moment these two had where they didn’t spend arguing with each other about their past and how it clashes with the present. The lack of development makes it difficult to see how these two get their second chance. Instead, it felt like the author put these two together just because of their past, which is so lazy. Putting two people together because of their history will not enforce tension. Constant lack of communication, push and pull, and continuous bickering aren’t an issue. The issue is how there is no conversation outside, there are no moments of catching up, and then everything is solved through sexual tension. With Cal and Eli not seeing each other for ten years after spending two years in love when they were teenagers, I expected them to spend time with each other, no matter their stubborn attitudes and explosive demeanors. Instead, we’re thrown into some melodrama, an anticlimactic process of two stubborn idiots who cannot, at their age, talk without making things worse, refuse to speak, and fall into a repeated cycle of a mess of miscommunication and misunderstandings.
Some may say it’s part of the angst, and I agree. I’m all for angst, push-and-pull relationships, fights, and stubborn people. I’m all for drama. I came for the drama. I read the negative reviews and was ready to enjoy the ride of what everyone considered a flaw here. Some know I want these stories. I enjoy angst. I enjoy getting in my feelings and crying about fictional characters. But unfortunately, for a story featuring cowboys and bulls and horses, there was nothing to ride. I can understand how and why some readers call this angsty, with Cal’s inner monologue being pretty miserable, full of self-doubt and constant self-hatred, self-blame, and self-judgment. But I don’t know if it’s because I’ve read more angsty stories than this, but I was expecting more angst. I was expecting a full 10.5-inch plate of angst, and instead just got a side 6-inch plate. The angst here is the boring kind that doesn’t make the story move up. It’s not the kind that gives the characters hope as a couple but no hope for them to move on despite their self-sabotage and stubbornness. No. The angst here is the kind that keeps pushing them backward with no steps forward. It’s not the kind to give me hope that there is something between them, but they refuse to open up and take it. It’s the kind that causes drama for 90% of the way through, only for the 10% left to be wrapped up perfectly content as if the characters don’t have unfinished conversations to get through, as if they don’t have actual unfinished business that doesn’t involve sex, as if the characters don’t have catching up to do. It’s the kind that keeps pushing them backward with no steps forward. Everything is okay and dandy.
The second chance is irrelevant. If it weren’t for the flashbacks at the beginning of each other (which I liked) and constant reminders that Cal walked away from Eli or that Eli walked away from Cal, I would’ve forgotten this is a second-chance romance. We don’t see a second chance happen. These two had ONE decent conversation, and every other conversation was full of arguments and rage. No development occurred and took place. We don’t see these two act out the second chance, no moments where they catch up and get to know each other again. What’s the point of a second chance if all their feelings are going to be based on physical lust and past feelings? Considering they hadn’t seen each other in ten years, you would think these two would have lots of catching up to do and making up, but nope! Just fights here and there, and make-up sex, and more fights and arguments, and more rough kissing, and more fights, and more pushing and pulling and pushing and pulling. A never-ending cycle. Suddenly, all is okay, and everything is wrapping up. They’re confessing love and feelings and promising forever—the end.
Both leads are one-dimensional. There’s not enough characterization to give us an idea of who these two men are besides former lovers, gay, a former bull rider, a pastor’s son turned cop, and stubborn. There aren’t enough traits given to them to give them personality besides their miserable behavior. There is no chance or hope of character development.
I also found myself on Cal’s side much more than everyone else. Cal’s situation isn’t the worst, although I couldn’t choose his side whenever he assumed he'd had it worse. His self-depreciation was tiring, but it didn’t become too much to make me feel miserable. I applaud the author for making me sympathize with him more than the rest of the town, including Eli. I couldn’t understand why everyone thought (okay, mostly Eli and his sister) thought they could be such assholes to him. In my opinion, Cal was misunderstood, which has always been my favorite type of character. I wasn’t a fan of how his abusive childhood was glossed over and forgotten by those in the town. His sister, Faith, blamed him for leaving her but refused to understand his origins.
On the other hand, Eli blamed Cal for leaving him without a word. Both characters were selfish, aggravating, and lacked understanding of the situation. No matter how much Cal tried, he was the one to blame. Because it was his fault for sending so much money back home to Faith, only for her to spend it on drugs and get pregnant with a bum loser. Because it’s his fault he left home after their uncle constantly abused him, and if he hadn’t left, he’d be dead or in jail for murder. Because it’s his fault Cal couldn’t let himself be a dirty secret for Eli. Because it’s his fault, Eli decided to come out to his father the night he walked away from Cal, only to blame him for the rest of their ten years, ignoring the fact that he was too late. Because it’s his fault, Cal had to spend all his money on his hospital bills after getting hurt because he had no one to help him. Because it’s his fault, he wanted a better life than his small town offered.
I do believe this author’s writing is beautiful. Her first sex scene was roughly intimate, tender, and explosive. The descriptions are enough to give you an idea of the imagery for the characters and the location. There’s enough showing to show what the characters are feeling and experiencing.
It’s sad to say it, but you can skim this story and not miss anything about the two main leads because nothing between them besides fighting and having sex happens.
Here’s how it went:
10% - Cal and Eli see each other for the first time in ten years. There’s hate, resentment, and rage. Eli gives him a ride because he “can’t have vagrants in his town.”
15% - Cal reunited with his sister, Faith. She hates him and is a bitch to him because “he left and left her to fend for herself,” but let’s ignore the reasons for that, yeah?
19% - We learn that ALL the money Cal sent to Faith was not just spent on the funeral for their abusive, shitty Uncle Kirk and bills, but Faith spent it on drugs and got pregnant with a useless man who is abusive and has a restraining order. But sure, Faith, blame Cal. Blame him for leaving because it’s not like he was being abused constantly, every day, by your uncle. And all the money he sent you wasn’t enough. It’s not like he also has his own life to worry about. But yeah, let’s blame him because he left, and you choose not to understand and accept his reasons.
29% - Cal and Eli see each other for the second time when Eli stops Cal because he is texting and driving. There’s some “sexual tension” the author probably tried to add here, but I didn’t feel it. It was probably supposed to be here because of the dialogue, and they kissed for the first time. Rough. They’re sexually tense.
33% - Cal sees Cody, the useless abusive ass who got Faith pregnant and is here to take back his home. Cal beats him up. Badly. Cal is locked up. Eli sees him. So they see each other for the third time. Still no actual, proper conversation. Their conversation is about their past and how one walked away and blah blah blah.
38% - Cal and Eli see each other for the fourth time. Still no talking. Cal sees Eli laughing and shit with Tucker Grace, the one he beat the living shit out of when they were kids, because Tucker also beat the living shit out of Cal because he’s gay. Awesome.
46% - Cal just walked for a long time in the rain after rescuing Abby and West. His knee is fucked up badly. He threw up because of the pain. He’s a mess and disgusting. Eli finds him. They see each other for the fifth time. Cal is being stubborn. He finally accepts help, and Eli gives him a ride.
50% - They have unfinished business, you know?
53%-57% - Sex scene. First sex scene. Still no actual conversation. Some jealousy is useless and doesn’t give any feeling because these two have no development or tension. No chemistry whatsoever. The sex was intimate, in my opinion, but it still felt useless. Let’s not forget the fact that Cal just walked in the rain for what we assume are hours after rescuing Abby and West, so his knee is fucked up even more, he’s dirty and disgusting, he’s in pain, he just threw up, and he needs rest. But no, everything is okay. He took some inflammatory pills and some mouthwash, so all is well. It’s not like his knee is essential to holding him up and constantly giving him pain. Nope, none of that.
59% - Cal says something that makes Eli snap. They explode again. More blowing up. More fighting. More arguing. Useless dialogue that should make me feel something. Usually, I’d appreciate and love a fighting scene, but not this kind because there’s no chemistry or tension between these two.
Chapter 19 - 60% in - I’m wondering when the the fuck the chemistry for these two will pop up. It's more than halfway through, and still no hint or sign of development and chemistry. They’ve had sex once, and every scene between the two before that has been spent arguing (about the past, both blaming each other, how Cal is stubborn, how Eli walked away, same ol’).
68% - So we’re probably supposed to feel bad for Eli here because we find out he did come out to his father. Only it was after Cal left. He walked away from Cal only to return home and come out to his father that night. And now Cal is telling himself that Eli came out for him. Right, cause the timing is just perfect!
69% - Eli and Cal see each other for the sixth time. They fight a little, with Cal being mad at Eli for not telling him he came out to him. Eli finally tells him the truth and how he went looking for Cal the next day only to find him gone. Eli is blaming Cal, saying he left him without a word. Once again, only Cal is to blame, as if it wasn’t Eli who fucking walked away from Cal. Not to mention that Cal did tell him he wouldn’t be hiding and doing this; he gave him an ultimatum. Eli knew; he didn’t want to admit it because he was also proud and stubborn.
71% - They’re having a decent conversation for once. A long overdue one. One that could’ve happened long before had they talked instead of exploding or turning to sex. A conversation that could have easily saved this entire story and made the second chance work more. And Cal apologizes to Eli, but Eli doesn’t and just acknowledges it? So he’s not going to apologize, too? Oh, look! And it ended with a kiss.
73% Oh, look at that! The next chapter is a sex scene. I didn’t know one conversation at the 73% mark was enough to fix everything. There’s still no chemistry and nothing to root for. The jealousy and possessiveness are worthless.
76% - “I love you.” GOODFUCKINGBYE.
76% - We are told they walk hand in hand downtown and make love again, but we don’t see this. Awesome. Just great. Lovely. Super! It adds SO MUCH to the two men's nonexistent chemistry. It REALLY helps with relationship development. Since there’s no development and a massive lack of chemistry, not seeing anything helps A LOT to see it grow. I just love them SO MUCH. They’re finally talking without exploding, so that’s something, at least. Improvement. Yay!
80% - Aaaaand we’re back to square one! Cal said something to Eli’s father (currently in the hospital) that upset Eli, and Eli is giving him the cold shoulder, back-turned treatment. Amazing. More lack of communication. Oh, they’re fighting! Surprise surprise. That’s all this 28-year-old and 30-year-old can do. They can’t hold a single conversation without bursting. Cal says he returned home for Eli, but I can’t believe that. He just didn’t have another choice.
“Yeah, well…” Eli sighed, and the resignation in the sound hurt worse than anything Cal had faced in the arena. “In the end, that’s all left between us, Cal. Nothing but lust and unfinished business.”
Well, he’s not wrong.
84% - Cal is leaving. Running away. Again. When they said that’s all he’s good at, it seemed like they meant it. He competes in bull riding again to make money for Eli’s father’s hospital bills.
91% - So anticlimactic. So bizarre. So confusing. Eli ended up going to the competition. There’s supposed to be some cute and loving connection here to their past, with Eli coming out of nowhere and catching Cal just like he did when they were young, but I don't feel anything about how there is still no chemistry between these two. Considering 9% of the story is left, I don’t think anything will change. The story is rushing to wrap up. 96% - Epilogue. The end. I still wouldn’t be able to tell you a single thing about these two’s relationship besides the basics: they argue and have sex cause that’s all they can do.
Overall, I’m not a fan, despite actually looking forward to reading this. In an update, I was thankful for the negative reviews because they gave me an idea of what to expect for this (angst-wise), but I felt nothing for the characters and nothing for the romance. Sure, I was on Cal’s side, but I didn’t exactly love him, and I still think he lacked development. We don’t see him think of himself differently in the entire book until the end. No matter how angsty he made the story, it came off as too miserable for me, with no proper development. And then Eli was no better, of course. Too selfish for my liking, uncaring, raging, and overall plain rude. Nothing about this story was enjoyable, so my experience reading it was not good.
Now, don’t mind me as I dive into book two because:
1) I loved Lane in this story. He was one of the only characters with the reasoning in this story, making the novel a bit likable and easier to read. I’m excited to see his second chance, although I’m worried because people say it’s a carbon copy of this one.
2) I’m a series masochist, and if I don’t finish this series now, I never will, or I’ll continue putting it off for no actual, correct, believable reason. I might as well get it over with now.
November 18, 2020
This book came out of nowhere and WOW, what a ride! I've never read anything by Parker St. John before, but you can bet I'm going to check out the Cabrini Law series because Down Low blew me away.
First of all, the writing is excellent. The descriptions of the setting, the realistic dialogue, the visceral fear when Cal mounts a bull ... stark details immerse the reader in the story. St. John's words are nuanced but never heavy-handed.
Each chapter begins with a short flashback to Cal and Eli's turbulent teen years. I typically dislike flashbacks, but the author skillfully captures important moments: the boys' first kiss, Cal mounting a bull like he has something to prove, Eli beating the shit out of a kid who dared hurt Cal. These memories are captured in just a few paragraphs and help the reader bridge the gap between the past, when Cal left, and the present, when he returns as the prodigal son to the small town he despises.
This is not an easy story, but the angst is REAL. It's not drama; it's life. The atmosphere is at times somber and tense, but there are glimpses of light and a passion that still burns brightly.
Initially, I wasn't a fan of the singular POV. Only Cal narrates the story, and I wanted to know what Eli was thinking and feeling. Eli is so hateful to Cal when Cal returns that it took me a while to warm up to him. But Eli has his reasons, and the reader slowly realizes that Cal isn't the most reliable narrator. The past colors his perception of events and the town.
The story features a heavy hurt-comfort theme. Cal is in excruciating physical pain following one too many kicks from a bull and a decade of hard riding. He's also emotionally damaged by years of abuse. But Eli has his own scars, ones that hurt no less.
The connection between the men is palpable. The unfulfilled sexual tension is a tiger waiting to strike, and when it does, the sex is intense and explosive.
The secondary characters, including Eli's father who has terminal cancer and Cal's younger sister and nephew, add layers to an already complex story. The small town setting comes alive, from the ranch where Cal finds work to the cafe the locals frequent.
There is rage and regret, but there's also forgiveness and love. Then there's a jukebox and music and a hard-won HEA.
I couldn't put this book down! Down Low gets all the stars and a spot on my Best MM Romance of 2020 list.
First of all, the writing is excellent. The descriptions of the setting, the realistic dialogue, the visceral fear when Cal mounts a bull ... stark details immerse the reader in the story. St. John's words are nuanced but never heavy-handed.
Each chapter begins with a short flashback to Cal and Eli's turbulent teen years. I typically dislike flashbacks, but the author skillfully captures important moments: the boys' first kiss, Cal mounting a bull like he has something to prove, Eli beating the shit out of a kid who dared hurt Cal. These memories are captured in just a few paragraphs and help the reader bridge the gap between the past, when Cal left, and the present, when he returns as the prodigal son to the small town he despises.
This is not an easy story, but the angst is REAL. It's not drama; it's life. The atmosphere is at times somber and tense, but there are glimpses of light and a passion that still burns brightly.
Initially, I wasn't a fan of the singular POV. Only Cal narrates the story, and I wanted to know what Eli was thinking and feeling. Eli is so hateful to Cal when Cal returns that it took me a while to warm up to him. But Eli has his reasons, and the reader slowly realizes that Cal isn't the most reliable narrator. The past colors his perception of events and the town.
The story features a heavy hurt-comfort theme. Cal is in excruciating physical pain following one too many kicks from a bull and a decade of hard riding. He's also emotionally damaged by years of abuse. But Eli has his own scars, ones that hurt no less.
"I guess we all have our bad habits ... Mine is catching you before you hit the ground."
The connection between the men is palpable. The unfulfilled sexual tension is a tiger waiting to strike, and when it does, the sex is intense and explosive.
The secondary characters, including Eli's father who has terminal cancer and Cal's younger sister and nephew, add layers to an already complex story. The small town setting comes alive, from the ranch where Cal finds work to the cafe the locals frequent.
There is rage and regret, but there's also forgiveness and love. Then there's a jukebox and music and a hard-won HEA.
"I know you ... The things that scare you are the things that you love the most."
I couldn't put this book down! Down Low gets all the stars and a spot on my Best MM Romance of 2020 list.
October 18, 2020
5 stars for utter perfection!
Story: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
MCs: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Cover: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Down Low was my first book by Parker St. John and as soon as it started popping up in my Goodreads update feed, I had to get my hands on it. There were too many aspects of this book calling out for me, loudly and insistently:
✅ Second chance romance
✅ Cowboys
✅ Small town setting
✅ Sexual tension
While I knew it would be a good story straight from the start, I wasn't prepared for it's actual force. I don't know exactly why, but this book hit me like a tornado. I lost my heart to Cal and Eli in just a few chapters and I couldn't stop reading.
In the small town of Sweetwater, Cal grows up in poverty and fear. Wild and angry, Cal is trying to gain control of his life by living for the thrill, by doing reckless things that could end up killing him.
With a reputation as one of the fiercest bull riders in the circuit, Cal is facing the end of his career after another severe accident. With reconstructive surgery and physical therapy having cleaned out the last of his saving, 28-year-old Cal is forced to return home after more than 10 years, where he will have to face the demons from his past.
It doesn't take long for him to run into Eli Jackson, the steely-eyed sheriff of Sweetwater who happened to be the boy he loved fiercely when he was a teenager, the one person who has been his rock and grounded him in his world full of fear and insecurities, the only one he had been willing to give up his dream of becoming a famous bull rider for. Unfortunately, it is the very same man that broke his heart and made him run.
Cal has never stopped thinking about Eli, each and every man he had been with just couldn't compare to the boy he loved so much. Feeling ashamed of the fact that he comes crawling back to the small town he hates so much, Cal keeps wondering about whether Eli has been missing him just as much or whether he couldn't care less about his teenage love.
Will Cal and Eli find a way back together or will the past have an everlasting impact on their future?
The first encounters between Cal and Eli are full of anger and so very explosive. The chemistry between them is there straight away, but they are both stubborn and brooding, too proud for a real conversation on what has happened back in their past. There is a lot of frustration and a hell of a lot of sexual tension. The way they interact with each other is so dark and so incredibly sexy in the same time – it pushed all my buttons and I couldn't stop reading.
I won't lie – this book if full of angst and miscommunication. There is a certain darkness clinging to the characters and the wounds from the past are strongly dominating their interactions. These boys have been hurt, the are carrying a lot of emotional baggage and their lack of communication was frustrating at times. But it felt so real - they were so perfect in all their imperfection.
Finding out what exactly had happened the day the relationship between Cal and Eli went up into smoke has been breaking my heart and bringing tears into my eyes. It shows how much miscommunication and misunderstandings can impact a person's future and how easy it could have been to prevent so much hurt, unhappiness and frustration. All in all, this book has a really strong message and I loved how both the storyline and the main characters took a hold of my emotions. I was pulled straight into this story, straight into the small streets of Sweetwater; it felt like I could reach out to the characters and I wanted nothing more than ease their pain.
I loved that every chapter is starting with a small flashback that is shedding light on the teenage relationship between Cal and Eli. These flashbacks were beautiful and heartbreaking all at once. Anticipating them, I also knew that they would get to me each and every time, making me fall a tiny little bit more for Cal and Eli.
Down Low is a true little diamond out there. It managed to get to me in a way very few books do. I want to hold on to these characters and never let them go. Seek them out! - I can only recommend this beautiful second chance romance.
Story: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
MCs: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Cover: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Down Low was my first book by Parker St. John and as soon as it started popping up in my Goodreads update feed, I had to get my hands on it. There were too many aspects of this book calling out for me, loudly and insistently:
✅ Second chance romance
✅ Cowboys
✅ Small town setting
✅ Sexual tension
While I knew it would be a good story straight from the start, I wasn't prepared for it's actual force. I don't know exactly why, but this book hit me like a tornado. I lost my heart to Cal and Eli in just a few chapters and I couldn't stop reading.
In the small town of Sweetwater, Cal grows up in poverty and fear. Wild and angry, Cal is trying to gain control of his life by living for the thrill, by doing reckless things that could end up killing him.
Fourteen years old, and Cal had gotten his first taste of power when he'd harnessed two thousand pounds of muscle to his will for three whole seconds.
With a reputation as one of the fiercest bull riders in the circuit, Cal is facing the end of his career after another severe accident. With reconstructive surgery and physical therapy having cleaned out the last of his saving, 28-year-old Cal is forced to return home after more than 10 years, where he will have to face the demons from his past.
It doesn't take long for him to run into Eli Jackson, the steely-eyed sheriff of Sweetwater who happened to be the boy he loved fiercely when he was a teenager, the one person who has been his rock and grounded him in his world full of fear and insecurities, the only one he had been willing to give up his dream of becoming a famous bull rider for. Unfortunately, it is the very same man that broke his heart and made him run.
Cal has never stopped thinking about Eli, each and every man he had been with just couldn't compare to the boy he loved so much. Feeling ashamed of the fact that he comes crawling back to the small town he hates so much, Cal keeps wondering about whether Eli has been missing him just as much or whether he couldn't care less about his teenage love.
In Cal's fantasies, he and Eli still shared a bond, but in reality they couldn't be further removed from each other. […] Cal's eyes burned with shame and embarrassment, but Eli's gaze was so furious it was like a black hole. If there was a way to escape eyes like that, Cal had never discovered it. Terminal gravity. That's what was between them, what has always been between them.
Will Cal and Eli find a way back together or will the past have an everlasting impact on their future?
The first encounters between Cal and Eli are full of anger and so very explosive. The chemistry between them is there straight away, but they are both stubborn and brooding, too proud for a real conversation on what has happened back in their past. There is a lot of frustration and a hell of a lot of sexual tension. The way they interact with each other is so dark and so incredibly sexy in the same time – it pushed all my buttons and I couldn't stop reading.
”I should have let you land on your ass.” Eli's voice was a low rumble in his chest, so deep that it vibrated through Cal's wet shirt. […]
“Why didn't you?” Cal asked, shoving out of Eli's arms and facing him.
“I guess we all have our bad habits,” Eli said, smiling grimly. “Mine is catching you before you hit the ground.”
I won't lie – this book if full of angst and miscommunication. There is a certain darkness clinging to the characters and the wounds from the past are strongly dominating their interactions. These boys have been hurt, the are carrying a lot of emotional baggage and their lack of communication was frustrating at times. But it felt so real - they were so perfect in all their imperfection.
Finding out what exactly had happened the day the relationship between Cal and Eli went up into smoke has been breaking my heart and bringing tears into my eyes. It shows how much miscommunication and misunderstandings can impact a person's future and how easy it could have been to prevent so much hurt, unhappiness and frustration. All in all, this book has a really strong message and I loved how both the storyline and the main characters took a hold of my emotions. I was pulled straight into this story, straight into the small streets of Sweetwater; it felt like I could reach out to the characters and I wanted nothing more than ease their pain.
I loved that every chapter is starting with a small flashback that is shedding light on the teenage relationship between Cal and Eli. These flashbacks were beautiful and heartbreaking all at once. Anticipating them, I also knew that they would get to me each and every time, making me fall a tiny little bit more for Cal and Eli.
Down Low is a true little diamond out there. It managed to get to me in a way very few books do. I want to hold on to these characters and never let them go. Seek them out! - I can only recommend this beautiful second chance romance.
Cal looked straight into Eli's coal black eyes and saw him – every aggravating, infuriating, glorious but of him – and he was seen in return.
July 16, 2023
“The only boy who could ever reach me…” Cal whispered, “…was the son of a preacher man.”
It’s been a very long time since a book has made me this emotional.
I absolutely LOVED this story.
Told in a current timeline with brief flashbacks at the beginning of chapters, which perfectly balanced the emotional weight of the story throughout.
Teenage firsts together
Hurt/comfort
10 year separation
Small town police officer vs professional bull rider
Two VERY stubborn men
Incredibly emotional
Intimacy/chemistry
Authentic small town feel
Amazing epilogue
Cal had loved Eli since he was fourteen years old, since the very first time the older boy had pressed him back against a pine tree and kissed him.
While I wish these two had worked out their differences sooner, I loved the gorgeous writing, the depth of emotion, the introspective internal dialogue, and beautifully written intimate scenes.
This author writes small town poverty, and everything that comes with it very well. Go into the story knowing there are bitter feelings and miscommunication. It’s a story of two people struggling with past decisions and then taking a good look in the mirror, and growing up.
They breathed together, silent, gazing into each other’s eyes without a word between them. They didn’t need words. This went deeper than words, deeper than gestures, even deeper than sex. Cal looked straight into Eli’s coal black eyes and saw him—every aggravating, infuriating, glorious bit of him—and he was seen in return.
Was the final dramatic scene a little overdone and unrealistic? Maybe. I don’t care. This is going in my-read pile.
Well-written gay cowboy romances are difficult to find.
Below are some of my favorites:
Red Dirt Heart series by N.R. Walker
The Man who loved Cole Flores by K.A. Merikan
Honey from the Lion by Jackie North
Edge of Forever by Barbara Elsborg
Frog by Mary Calmes
Let me know if you have any to add to this list, I would love to find more!
It’s been a very long time since a book has made me this emotional.
I absolutely LOVED this story.
Told in a current timeline with brief flashbacks at the beginning of chapters, which perfectly balanced the emotional weight of the story throughout.
Teenage firsts together
Hurt/comfort
10 year separation
Small town police officer vs professional bull rider
Two VERY stubborn men
Incredibly emotional
Intimacy/chemistry
Authentic small town feel
Amazing epilogue
Cal had loved Eli since he was fourteen years old, since the very first time the older boy had pressed him back against a pine tree and kissed him.
While I wish these two had worked out their differences sooner, I loved the gorgeous writing, the depth of emotion, the introspective internal dialogue, and beautifully written intimate scenes.
This author writes small town poverty, and everything that comes with it very well. Go into the story knowing there are bitter feelings and miscommunication. It’s a story of two people struggling with past decisions and then taking a good look in the mirror, and growing up.
They breathed together, silent, gazing into each other’s eyes without a word between them. They didn’t need words. This went deeper than words, deeper than gestures, even deeper than sex. Cal looked straight into Eli’s coal black eyes and saw him—every aggravating, infuriating, glorious bit of him—and he was seen in return.
Was the final dramatic scene a little overdone and unrealistic? Maybe. I don’t care. This is going in my-read pile.
Well-written gay cowboy romances are difficult to find.
Below are some of my favorites:
Red Dirt Heart series by N.R. Walker
The Man who loved Cole Flores by K.A. Merikan
Honey from the Lion by Jackie North
Edge of Forever by Barbara Elsborg
Frog by Mary Calmes
Let me know if you have any to add to this list, I would love to find more!
August 5, 2021
Reread August 2021: Audiobook = ***4 Stars***
************************
Original review October 2020:
***4.5 Stars***
Oh, I loved this!!! I know, I know, I'm a sucker for heartbreak-cowboys, so sue me.
This lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers (umm, longer version of second-chance-romance) includes two deliciously tortured heroes, a painful walk of shame, and lots of feelings.
************************
Original review October 2020:
***4.5 Stars***
Oh, I loved this!!! I know, I know, I'm a sucker for heartbreak-cowboys, so sue me.
This lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers (umm, longer version of second-chance-romance) includes two deliciously tortured heroes, a painful walk of shame, and lots of feelings.
They breathed together, silent, gazing into each other's eyes without a word between them. They didn't need words. This went deeper than words, deeper than gestures, even deeper than sex.
October 25, 2020
4.5 wow filled stars!
Second new-to-me author in a row and this one was much more successful. I absolutely loved this book.
Calvin (Cal) Craig has been away from home for 10 years, on the rodeo circuit as a bull rider. Ever since he was 14 and went on his first bull as a dare, he's loved it, love the adrenaline he got from the fear he felt being on one, how alive he felt. It was his dream to be a professional bull rider.
Cal is from a very small town in Eastern Oregon, and his childhood there was colored by the poverty and abuse he suffered at the hands of his uncle, after he and his sister Faith lost their parents to a car accident when they were young.
But at 14, the very first time Cal rode that bull, 16 year old Eli Jackson was there too, and not long after that, by the time Cal was 15, these two were together, and they spent the next two years falling in love with each other.
Only, Eli's father was the town preacher, and always talked about fire and brimstone and damnation and all that, and Eli was terrified to come out to him, so they spent two years in the closet. Eventually Cal wanted more, and Eli seemingly couldn't and wouldn't give him more.
After a nasty argument they had when Cal was 17 and Eli 19, Cal thought that was it, that Eli was walking away from them, from him, and so Cal packed his things and left.
10 years later at 28 years old, after being alone with few friends to speak of, and one night stands with men who basically always looked like Eli but were never quite right, and after an injured shoulder, Cal rides a particularly angry bull, and when things go wrong and he gets badly injured - career ending injured - Cal has almost no money and nowhere to go except home.
Except it's been 10 years - 5 years since Cal spoke to his younger sister Faith when their uncle died - and Cal has to face the town - mainly Eli - he left.
And Eli...is not happy with him, to say the least. We learn over the course of this book Eli's side of things and what went down for him, but it takes a bit, so for me I was left wondering why he was so angry and seemed to hate Cal. Because from Cal's perspective, Eli almost callously walked away from them and chose staying in the closet for his father over Cal. It's not so black and white for Eli, though.
I gave .5 stars off for this because we don't get Eli's POV in this and I would have really loved his POV, SO much. I mean, I didn't give off more because the writing did do an amazing job getting Eli's feelings and point of view - without getting his thoughts and feelings personally like Cal - across, but I still craved Eli's POV like crazy. So many times, just like Cal I was wondering what was going on in Eli's mind, why was he so harsh and angry at Cal at first. I mean yeah we do eventually learn why, but I would have loved to know by getting his thoughts and feelings on it.
See, Eli is now the town sheriff in their small town, and aside from going to Salem for a time, Eli has always been there, despite him applying to colleges when he and Cal were younger, a main catalyst that lead to their break-up.
But yeah, despite how well this book did with just one POV - not all can pull it off in a romance - I just still wanted insight into Eli, because I loved Eli and wanted to understand what was going through his mind, what drove him to make the choices he made.
Because as much as these two loved each other when they were teenagers, they really were just a couple of kids who weren't quite mature enough to handle an adult relationship yet. As heartbreaking as them being apart is, it was definitely needed.
Cal looked at their small town in a very negative light, which is understandable with what he went through, and he needed to mature in order to be able to let that go and see the positive too, and to be able to hear what others were saying.
I also loved how in every chapter there would be a short snippet of the past that we saw, getting to see those moments where these two were falling in love and even when things got messed up. I thought it was a great way of giving us insight into the past without potentially bogging the story down with flashback after flashback, or just one long flashback part. It can work if written well, but other times it can bring down a story or just have me antsy to get to the present. Making the "flashbacks" in little 2, 3 paragraph snippets in the begging of each chapter worked well, in my opinion.
Also, the sex in this? Amazing. Amazingly written, with such passion and intensity, that I was riveted while reading it. The wait before these two crash together with kisses and fucking was well worth the wait. I just wanted more, more, more when we got it.
The secondary characters in this were written so well too. I love when books are able to make secondary characters well fleshed out characters along with our MC's, and we get a more complete picture of the characters and those in their lives without taking away from the romance of it all.
So overall, top notch book. I absolutely loved it. I will definitely be reading more from this author in the future. The only time I could put it down was when I had to sleep and when RL demanded it.
Two MASSIVE thumbs up from me! ❤️
Second new-to-me author in a row and this one was much more successful. I absolutely loved this book.
Calvin (Cal) Craig has been away from home for 10 years, on the rodeo circuit as a bull rider. Ever since he was 14 and went on his first bull as a dare, he's loved it, love the adrenaline he got from the fear he felt being on one, how alive he felt. It was his dream to be a professional bull rider.
Cal is from a very small town in Eastern Oregon, and his childhood there was colored by the poverty and abuse he suffered at the hands of his uncle, after he and his sister Faith lost their parents to a car accident when they were young.
But at 14, the very first time Cal rode that bull, 16 year old Eli Jackson was there too, and not long after that, by the time Cal was 15, these two were together, and they spent the next two years falling in love with each other.
Only, Eli's father was the town preacher, and always talked about fire and brimstone and damnation and all that, and Eli was terrified to come out to him, so they spent two years in the closet. Eventually Cal wanted more, and Eli seemingly couldn't and wouldn't give him more.
After a nasty argument they had when Cal was 17 and Eli 19, Cal thought that was it, that Eli was walking away from them, from him, and so Cal packed his things and left.
10 years later at 28 years old, after being alone with few friends to speak of, and one night stands with men who basically always looked like Eli but were never quite right, and after an injured shoulder, Cal rides a particularly angry bull, and when things go wrong and he gets badly injured - career ending injured - Cal has almost no money and nowhere to go except home.
Except it's been 10 years - 5 years since Cal spoke to his younger sister Faith when their uncle died - and Cal has to face the town - mainly Eli - he left.
And Eli...is not happy with him, to say the least. We learn over the course of this book Eli's side of things and what went down for him, but it takes a bit, so for me I was left wondering why he was so angry and seemed to hate Cal. Because from Cal's perspective, Eli almost callously walked away from them and chose staying in the closet for his father over Cal. It's not so black and white for Eli, though.
I gave .5 stars off for this because we don't get Eli's POV in this and I would have really loved his POV, SO much. I mean, I didn't give off more because the writing did do an amazing job getting Eli's feelings and point of view - without getting his thoughts and feelings personally like Cal - across, but I still craved Eli's POV like crazy. So many times, just like Cal I was wondering what was going on in Eli's mind, why was he so harsh and angry at Cal at first. I mean yeah we do eventually learn why, but I would have loved to know by getting his thoughts and feelings on it.
See, Eli is now the town sheriff in their small town, and aside from going to Salem for a time, Eli has always been there, despite him applying to colleges when he and Cal were younger, a main catalyst that lead to their break-up.
But yeah, despite how well this book did with just one POV - not all can pull it off in a romance - I just still wanted insight into Eli, because I loved Eli and wanted to understand what was going through his mind, what drove him to make the choices he made.
Because as much as these two loved each other when they were teenagers, they really were just a couple of kids who weren't quite mature enough to handle an adult relationship yet. As heartbreaking as them being apart is, it was definitely needed.
Cal looked at their small town in a very negative light, which is understandable with what he went through, and he needed to mature in order to be able to let that go and see the positive too, and to be able to hear what others were saying.
I also loved how in every chapter there would be a short snippet of the past that we saw, getting to see those moments where these two were falling in love and even when things got messed up. I thought it was a great way of giving us insight into the past without potentially bogging the story down with flashback after flashback, or just one long flashback part. It can work if written well, but other times it can bring down a story or just have me antsy to get to the present. Making the "flashbacks" in little 2, 3 paragraph snippets in the begging of each chapter worked well, in my opinion.
Also, the sex in this? Amazing. Amazingly written, with such passion and intensity, that I was riveted while reading it. The wait before these two crash together with kisses and fucking was well worth the wait. I just wanted more, more, more when we got it.
The secondary characters in this were written so well too. I love when books are able to make secondary characters well fleshed out characters along with our MC's, and we get a more complete picture of the characters and those in their lives without taking away from the romance of it all.
So overall, top notch book. I absolutely loved it. I will definitely be reading more from this author in the future. The only time I could put it down was when I had to sleep and when RL demanded it.
Two MASSIVE thumbs up from me! ❤️
October 28, 2020
All the stars.
Sweet love that hurts so much. So many tears for two boys who fell in love when they were teenagers, and were driven apart by life and misunderstandings.
10 years later, it still hurts so much. Cal, the professional bull rider, is broken and finished, after one last bad fall off a bull, and comes back home. But it seems that nobody wants him there.
It’s all told in Cal’s POV, and although we can feel Eli’s pain, it is explained and revealed more slowly throughout the book. We get short flashbacks of their first time together here and there, and the emotions are strong.
I cried. I rarely do, even with angsty books. But the writing really got to me. It was my first read by this author and I definitely want more. And I can’t wait for the next in the series.
The epilogue was sweet perfection. The sex scenes were both steamy and emotional. Their love was there on each page.
❤️❤️❤️
Sweet love that hurts so much. So many tears for two boys who fell in love when they were teenagers, and were driven apart by life and misunderstandings.
10 years later, it still hurts so much. Cal, the professional bull rider, is broken and finished, after one last bad fall off a bull, and comes back home. But it seems that nobody wants him there.
It’s all told in Cal’s POV, and although we can feel Eli’s pain, it is explained and revealed more slowly throughout the book. We get short flashbacks of their first time together here and there, and the emotions are strong.
I cried. I rarely do, even with angsty books. But the writing really got to me. It was my first read by this author and I definitely want more. And I can’t wait for the next in the series.
The epilogue was sweet perfection. The sex scenes were both steamy and emotional. Their love was there on each page.
❤️❤️❤️
November 11, 2023
this is very surprising - but I really liked this book-
second chance romance is my least favorite trope - and more than just least favorite, I actively dislike it, I also cannot stand books that rely heavily on flashbacks
This book has both so I didnt think I would like it at all, I actually wasn't planning to read it and had book 2 on my tbr with plans to skip this but Sarah told me I should give it a try anyway and I am actually so glad I did!
Its probably too soon to say I am turning a new leaf on my stance on second chance romance lol, but this one didnt bother me the way most do. the flash backs were actually added to the story well without the plot leaning too heavily on them.
Overall, I actually really enjoyed this story and I am excited to read more of the series! Makes me want to listen to some country music now lol
second chance romance is my least favorite trope - and more than just least favorite, I actively dislike it, I also cannot stand books that rely heavily on flashbacks
This book has both so I didnt think I would like it at all, I actually wasn't planning to read it and had book 2 on my tbr with plans to skip this but Sarah told me I should give it a try anyway and I am actually so glad I did!
Its probably too soon to say I am turning a new leaf on my stance on second chance romance lol, but this one didnt bother me the way most do. the flash backs were actually added to the story well without the plot leaning too heavily on them.
Overall, I actually really enjoyed this story and I am excited to read more of the series! Makes me want to listen to some country music now lol
September 8, 2021
4 stars ⭐️ Why haven't I found this book before? I love reading second chance romances because the way both characters are finding each other's hearts again makes me feel so emotional and happy.
This story had the right amount of ANGST that could give me a good cry and tug at my heartstrings out of my chest.
plot : After ten years, leaving behind his love of life and his own sister, Cal came to his birth town (Sweetwater) with heartache and body aches. Eli was the sheriff of the little town. Cal instantly knew that his childhood sweetheart Eli wasn't the gentle and soft boy he had left behind. He physically felt the changes in Eli. The misunderstanding between Cal and Eli led to more furious and gruesome moments that made Cal think twice about the decision he had made ten years ago.
“I want to rip the beating heart out of every man who’s ever touched you,” he growled
“The only man I ever wanted was you,” he whispered against Eli’s heartbeat. “Every second of every day, Eli… you were there.”
I love Cal more than Eli. I don't know whether I should give a bump to Cal’s head or hug him tightly. I like the way they untangled every misunderstanding of their relationship and put a solid foundation for it again.
Told by only Cal’s POV. The sex scenes were really hot and delicious. The epilogue proved again to me that their love was a forever thing. I wish I could read more of them.
My only problem is sometimes I felt like the relationship was going to be a little toxic, and Eli didn't give Cal a chance to explain his side at some points.
Recommended!
This story had the right amount of ANGST that could give me a good cry and tug at my heartstrings out of my chest.
plot : After ten years, leaving behind his love of life and his own sister, Cal came to his birth town (Sweetwater) with heartache and body aches. Eli was the sheriff of the little town. Cal instantly knew that his childhood sweetheart Eli wasn't the gentle and soft boy he had left behind. He physically felt the changes in Eli. The misunderstanding between Cal and Eli led to more furious and gruesome moments that made Cal think twice about the decision he had made ten years ago.
“I want to rip the beating heart out of every man who’s ever touched you,” he growled
“The only man I ever wanted was you,” he whispered against Eli’s heartbeat. “Every second of every day, Eli… you were there.”
I love Cal more than Eli. I don't know whether I should give a bump to Cal’s head or hug him tightly. I like the way they untangled every misunderstanding of their relationship and put a solid foundation for it again.
Told by only Cal’s POV. The sex scenes were really hot and delicious. The epilogue proved again to me that their love was a forever thing. I wish I could read more of them.
My only problem is sometimes I felt like the relationship was going to be a little toxic, and Eli didn't give Cal a chance to explain his side at some points.
Recommended!
September 12, 2024
Well that was utterly brilliant
Parker St John is an incredibly talented writer and in Down Low they've produced a tour de force of complexity.
I've thoroughly enjoyed all the Cabrini Law series but in Down Low the standard of already excellent storytelling just went into another stratosphere.
This book is visceral, the heat of the bull ring, the sounds and smells of an animal at bay, the fears and adrenaline rush which drives the riders.
All are so vividly drawn by St John's use of language that I felt this story down to my bones.
Once I started reading it, there was no way I was going to put it down. Not only because I honestly had no idea just how the narrative was going to make it through to the happy ending I knew had to be there.
But also because the pace gave me no room to breathe, it was a 'grab a hold and come along for the ride' just like Cal on his bull.
And Cal, what a beautifully flawed character he is. I wasn't sure whether he'd be able to break through the blinkers he'd been wearing since the day he left.
The glimpses back into the past at the start of each chapter give an insight from his memories which the reader soon begins to realise aren't quite as reliable as he thinks.
This small town isn't the cold and unfeeling one he remembers, and as more becomes clear, neither is his history with Eli.
And I'll leave it there, other than to say I'm utterly fascinated by Lane and am now quite desperate for his story 😁
Parker St John is an incredibly talented writer and in Down Low they've produced a tour de force of complexity.
I've thoroughly enjoyed all the Cabrini Law series but in Down Low the standard of already excellent storytelling just went into another stratosphere.
This book is visceral, the heat of the bull ring, the sounds and smells of an animal at bay, the fears and adrenaline rush which drives the riders.
All are so vividly drawn by St John's use of language that I felt this story down to my bones.
Once I started reading it, there was no way I was going to put it down. Not only because I honestly had no idea just how the narrative was going to make it through to the happy ending I knew had to be there.
But also because the pace gave me no room to breathe, it was a 'grab a hold and come along for the ride' just like Cal on his bull.
And Cal, what a beautifully flawed character he is. I wasn't sure whether he'd be able to break through the blinkers he'd been wearing since the day he left.
The glimpses back into the past at the start of each chapter give an insight from his memories which the reader soon begins to realise aren't quite as reliable as he thinks.
This small town isn't the cold and unfeeling one he remembers, and as more becomes clear, neither is his history with Eli.
And I'll leave it there, other than to say I'm utterly fascinated by Lane and am now quite desperate for his story 😁
October 4, 2021
Re-Read 2021 September - Still LOVE it
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Overall book rating: 4.8 !!
Audio Book: N/A
Book Cover: 4.5
Eli Jackson and Cal Craig...
I Loved this story so hard!! It just came to me on the right place at the right time and it was absolutely FABULOUS.
It was real and sad and happy and sad and hurtful and sad and great and awesome and pretty much just what I wanted. Parker St. John you nailed this one!
I'm rambling and I don't care. Read it when you are in the mood for something good. Something cowboy and small town and just feel good.
I can't wait for the next one!
Ps. As a plus I have to add: No burning barns or poisoned cattle. Yeah!
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Overall book rating: 4.8 !!
Audio Book: N/A
Book Cover: 4.5
Eli Jackson and Cal Craig...
I Loved this story so hard!! It just came to me on the right place at the right time and it was absolutely FABULOUS.
It was real and sad and happy and sad and hurtful and sad and great and awesome and pretty much just what I wanted. Parker St. John you nailed this one!
I'm rambling and I don't care. Read it when you are in the mood for something good. Something cowboy and small town and just feel good.
I can't wait for the next one!
Ps. As a plus I have to add: No burning barns or poisoned cattle. Yeah!
December 30, 2021
I read this about 5 months ago and I still haven’t found the words to put on how much I enjoyed this book. I have no words to explain how much I enjoy this book and this entire series, I just love it so much. But I stayed up until 6 an to finish reading this book and this is what I looked like the entire time I was reading it:
October 11, 2020
4. 5 stars!!!!!!!
I couldn't for the life of me stop reading this book. I read it in one sitting and didn't sleep until I was done. #WhoNeedsSleepAnyway.
For fans of #SecondChanceRomance #HurtComfort #ChildhoodSweethearts
What I loved...
1. The Characters...
What I loved about both characters is that they were genuine. They were real, they were flawed and made mistakes. They knew that and they worked towards fixing those mistakes, even if they thought it was too late. #NeverTooLate
Cal is a bull rider who has had his fair share of injuries. He finally decides to go back home to his sister, after 10 years of being away, of leaving because he wanted more. He doesn't want to admit that there was someone else who he is going back for... his first love, his first heartbreak, his first everything. #IWantToGoBackHome
Eli is the town cop, son of a preacher, and Cal's first everything. Eli is furious when Cal comes back, after leaving him behind and running away. but Eli also doesn't want to admit that he never forgot Cal and watched every single one of his rodeo shows, just to feel close to him, to watch out for him even from afar. Eli was beautiful in his anger, in his vulnerability, in his love which never dimmed. #IHateThatILoveYou
The Flashbacks...
There are very short flashbacks in the beginning of each chapter that show us snippets of Eli and Cal's lives before their breakup, of Cal's life on the road, and the choices he made.
These flashbacks go a long way to help the reader connect with the characters, believe in their love, and root for them to get back together. #ThePastIsBehindUs
The Romance...
Other than the small snippets we get in the flashbacks, and despite how hurt both characters are from the other, they migrate towards each other any chance they get. Their love chips away at the hurt and the "supposed" hate and they find themselves back in each other's arms. They are both determined to make it work, to make up for lost time, and to be there for each other through thick and thin. #WhereImSupposedToBe
The Heat...
So there is a bit of hate kissing/sex going on at first.... which was hot!
And then forgiveness and makeup sex... which was hotter!
All in all.... it was hot. #TakeItOutOnMeInBed
The HEA...
I didn't want this book to end, but I loved reading what happens in that epilogue. Cal and Eli come full circle, to where it all started, with a special song in the background and their family around them. #LeSigh
I couldn't for the life of me stop reading this book. I read it in one sitting and didn't sleep until I was done. #WhoNeedsSleepAnyway.
For fans of #SecondChanceRomance #HurtComfort #ChildhoodSweethearts
What I loved...
1. The Characters...
What I loved about both characters is that they were genuine. They were real, they were flawed and made mistakes. They knew that and they worked towards fixing those mistakes, even if they thought it was too late. #NeverTooLate
Cal is a bull rider who has had his fair share of injuries. He finally decides to go back home to his sister, after 10 years of being away, of leaving because he wanted more. He doesn't want to admit that there was someone else who he is going back for... his first love, his first heartbreak, his first everything. #IWantToGoBackHome
Eli is the town cop, son of a preacher, and Cal's first everything. Eli is furious when Cal comes back, after leaving him behind and running away. but Eli also doesn't want to admit that he never forgot Cal and watched every single one of his rodeo shows, just to feel close to him, to watch out for him even from afar. Eli was beautiful in his anger, in his vulnerability, in his love which never dimmed. #IHateThatILoveYou
The Flashbacks...
There are very short flashbacks in the beginning of each chapter that show us snippets of Eli and Cal's lives before their breakup, of Cal's life on the road, and the choices he made.
These flashbacks go a long way to help the reader connect with the characters, believe in their love, and root for them to get back together. #ThePastIsBehindUs
The Romance...
Other than the small snippets we get in the flashbacks, and despite how hurt both characters are from the other, they migrate towards each other any chance they get. Their love chips away at the hurt and the "supposed" hate and they find themselves back in each other's arms. They are both determined to make it work, to make up for lost time, and to be there for each other through thick and thin. #WhereImSupposedToBe
The Heat...
So there is a bit of hate kissing/sex going on at first.... which was hot!
And then forgiveness and makeup sex... which was hotter!
All in all.... it was hot. #TakeItOutOnMeInBed
The HEA...
I didn't want this book to end, but I loved reading what happens in that epilogue. Cal and Eli come full circle, to where it all started, with a special song in the background and their family around them. #LeSigh
October 27, 2020
4,25 stars
Broken heroes – that’s what Simone wrote in her review . And I couldn’t agree more.
Cal is certainly that, in body and in mind. 10 years of bull riding has not been kind on his bones and joints to say the least, but the pain inside his heart is the one that’s really bringing him down.
Torn apart by self-critique and yearning for the love he lost, he has certainly hit rock bottom. Self-punishment and running have been his answer to it all for a long time, so ‘doing the walk of shame’ and coming home is painful, but a last shot at connecting with people who used to love him.
I felt every anguish, worry and ache Cal is going through. Very well written angst, indeed!
As for Eli – he is certainly putting Cal through emotional agony to start with, and tbh, I was pretty cross with him for being so cold and abrasive to a guy who’s got nothing left, not even his pride.
The ‘lovers to enemies vibe’ is strong and certainly tears at your heart, when rejection, heart-ache and anguish clash with desire, hope and longing.
Not sure if I totally bought the story about Eli’s father, and whether it is possible to but that didn’t spoil my enjoyment of the story.
I would quite happily say this is the best book I’ve read by this author to date, and if you love second chance romance this is certainly for you!
Hope that the next in the series is as captivating and engaging! Bring it on!
Broken heroes – that’s what Simone wrote in her review . And I couldn’t agree more.
Cal is certainly that, in body and in mind. 10 years of bull riding has not been kind on his bones and joints to say the least, but the pain inside his heart is the one that’s really bringing him down.
Torn apart by self-critique and yearning for the love he lost, he has certainly hit rock bottom. Self-punishment and running have been his answer to it all for a long time, so ‘doing the walk of shame’ and coming home is painful, but a last shot at connecting with people who used to love him.
I felt every anguish, worry and ache Cal is going through. Very well written angst, indeed!
As for Eli – he is certainly putting Cal through emotional agony to start with, and tbh, I was pretty cross with him for being so cold and abrasive to a guy who’s got nothing left, not even his pride.
The ‘lovers to enemies vibe’ is strong and certainly tears at your heart, when rejection, heart-ache and anguish clash with desire, hope and longing.
Not sure if I totally bought the story about Eli’s father, and whether it is possible to but that didn’t spoil my enjoyment of the story.
I would quite happily say this is the best book I’ve read by this author to date, and if you love second chance romance this is certainly for you!
Hope that the next in the series is as captivating and engaging! Bring it on!
January 12, 2021
I don't know where to start with this one. I started reading it completely oblivious to how much it would affect me. How much it would make me feel. I should have known. Parker St. John is quickly becoming a favorite author of mine. I should have know I wouldn't be able to stop reading this book until I was finished. Oh well.
I won't get too much in to the plot of this book. I can't do it justice, you just have to read it for yourselves. However, this is a beautiful book. I highlighted so many single words and phrases while reading this. I don't think any book have as many highlight as this one. Words that made me stop and think because of how beautiful they were. Words that made an impact. Words I wish I had written.
I won't lie. There's a lot of angst going on. I don't usually go for angst but I wouldn't have wanted this book any other way.
I won't get too much in to the plot of this book. I can't do it justice, you just have to read it for yourselves. However, this is a beautiful book. I highlighted so many single words and phrases while reading this. I don't think any book have as many highlight as this one. Words that made me stop and think because of how beautiful they were. Words that made an impact. Words I wish I had written.
I won't lie. There's a lot of angst going on. I don't usually go for angst but I wouldn't have wanted this book any other way.
September 4, 2024
4.5
This is an angsty cowboy romance and i was so stressed but rooting for them the entire time.
The best part about the book is the authors writing style. I enjoyed it thoroughly & the smut is not overpowering the romance but it is also hot asf.
Cal made me want to scream but hes a knuckleheaded trailer park boy u cant expect him to make smart decisions.
Loved Eli even though hes a cop (it doesnt take up too much into the book)
Sn: why is that baby so large? Its scaring me
This is an angsty cowboy romance and i was so stressed but rooting for them the entire time.
The best part about the book is the authors writing style. I enjoyed it thoroughly & the smut is not overpowering the romance but it is also hot asf.
Cal made me want to scream but hes a knuckleheaded trailer park boy u cant expect him to make smart decisions.
Loved Eli even though hes a cop (it doesnt take up too much into the book)
Sn: why is that baby so large? Its scaring me
September 20, 2023
A very intense and emotional second chance romance. I enjoyed it. Their lack of communication, or rather their non-communication over a decade drove me a bit crazy.
This song will always remind me of this book now:
“The only boy who could ever reach me…” Cal whispered, “…was the son of a preacher man.” 🥰
This song will always remind me of this book now:
“The only boy who could ever reach me…” Cal whispered, “…was the son of a preacher man.” 🥰
February 5, 2025
*January 2025 re-read on audio, and it feels more like a 4 star read now, so I’ll settle on 4,5 stars. I still loved Eli’s and Cal’s chemistry ❤️)*
*Original review:*
March 2022: OMG, I’m doing the audio and it’s perfect.
I did a re-read and LOVED it all over again.
And no, I can't listen to Dusty Springfield's 'Son of a Preacher man' without picturing Eli and Cal. Just read this book if you haven't yet.
I just finished this book last night and I'm still trying to rein my emotions. God, that epilogue was everything!! Recently someone asked the question: epilogues, yes or no? Well, here's the answer. YES PLEASE!! Specially if they are so emotional like this one, ripping you apart in the very best way.
I don't think I need to tell that I loved this book, it already shows in my previous words, I guess. I loved this one so much, I think it might be my best read of the year. At least, it definitely reserved a spot there.
First: Let me swoon over the cover! Just worth downloading for looking at that picture alone :)
This was my first read by this author and boy, what a surprise! The words were flowing, the writing flawless. Such wonderful character development, lovable MC's I grew to care about and had me cheering for their HEA, and pretty interesting side characters as well.
I felt all the raw emotions, felt their connection and their chemistry was off the charts. But here was also the pain of their past, the hurt, the misunderstanding and still the longing to make things different. But that didn't come easy.
Cal and Eli were lovers when they were teens. Each other's first loves. They shared all their first experiences together. Cal had a rough time with the abusive uncle he was forced to live with, and there was this self destructive side of him that got him in trouble more than once. Eli was always there to protect him. Until he wasn't. One night ended it all. Eli was bound for college and Cal wasn't. He couldn't stand the thought of Eli leaving him, so he made him chose between him and his father, the small town pastor who didn't know his son was gay, which Eli wanted to keep that way. For now, at least. And so to prevent himself for the pain of Eli leaving him, Cal left himself. Without so much as a word, he left his sister Faith and his hometown behind to become a bull rider.
I wasn't necessary when I was seventeen, Eli. I'm sure as hell not necessary now. I already knew you and Faith didn't need me; you're both stronger than I could ever be. But you haunted me one way or another every waking minute since I left, and I couldn't fucking take it anymore. Okay?"
*Original review:*
March 2022: OMG, I’m doing the audio and it’s perfect.
I did a re-read and LOVED it all over again.
And no, I can't listen to Dusty Springfield's 'Son of a Preacher man' without picturing Eli and Cal. Just read this book if you haven't yet.
I just finished this book last night and I'm still trying to rein my emotions. God, that epilogue was everything!! Recently someone asked the question: epilogues, yes or no? Well, here's the answer. YES PLEASE!! Specially if they are so emotional like this one, ripping you apart in the very best way.
I don't think I need to tell that I loved this book, it already shows in my previous words, I guess. I loved this one so much, I think it might be my best read of the year. At least, it definitely reserved a spot there.
First: Let me swoon over the cover! Just worth downloading for looking at that picture alone :)
This was my first read by this author and boy, what a surprise! The words were flowing, the writing flawless. Such wonderful character development, lovable MC's I grew to care about and had me cheering for their HEA, and pretty interesting side characters as well.
I felt all the raw emotions, felt their connection and their chemistry was off the charts. But here was also the pain of their past, the hurt, the misunderstanding and still the longing to make things different. But that didn't come easy.
Cal and Eli were lovers when they were teens. Each other's first loves. They shared all their first experiences together. Cal had a rough time with the abusive uncle he was forced to live with, and there was this self destructive side of him that got him in trouble more than once. Eli was always there to protect him. Until he wasn't. One night ended it all. Eli was bound for college and Cal wasn't. He couldn't stand the thought of Eli leaving him, so he made him chose between him and his father, the small town pastor who didn't know his son was gay, which Eli wanted to keep that way. For now, at least. And so to prevent himself for the pain of Eli leaving him, Cal left himself. Without so much as a word, he left his sister Faith and his hometown behind to become a bull rider.
I wasn't necessary when I was seventeen, Eli. I'm sure as hell not necessary now. I already knew you and Faith didn't need me; you're both stronger than I could ever be. But you haunted me one way or another every waking minute since I left, and I couldn't fucking take it anymore. Okay?"
But a decade later he came back to that small town, his body broken, his mind still haunted by the ghost of his first and only love.
The first encounter between Eli (the town's sheriff) and Cal sets the tone for the rest of the story and I already knew I would love it from that moment on. I have a huge love for enemies to lovers, and though they were first friends and lovers, there sure was enough hurt and pain and anger between them to end up being each other's enemies. At the very least from Eli's part. Sadly we don't get his POV, which might have been a reason to down my rating with 0,5 or so, but no. The story was still that good, it deserves all the 5 stars I can give.
Of course they keep running into each other, not in the least because Eli keeps an eye on Cal, and it's inevitable things happen. Things like angry kissing, angry sex even. But there always seems to be a gleam of the love they once shared, even though they both have protected their hearts with barbed wire and a huge, thick wall. Because, according to Eli, "it's still just unfinished business."
Once they cleared the air, the question remains: how will their future look like? Can Eli trust Cal enough to stay around? Because all he ever does is run. Who says he won't do that again this time?
"So...this is it?" Cal asked incredulously. "You want me to go?"
"I never wanted you to go, Cal." Eli leaned across the seat, reaching across Cal's body to open the passenger door for him. "I'm just not trying to keep you anymore."
The story is not just about Cal and Eli, but also about narrow minded small town life, which the author did very well. The gossip, people just knowing everything and everybody. But also the good things, like helping each other out when someone needs it. Cal learns to see his hometown differently from how he looked at it like a teenager. He learns things aren't always as black and white as he thought they were.
It's also about his relationship with his sister Faith and her son. When he shows up at her door, she has no intention to help him out. He hurt her too by leaving the way he did and Cal desperately wants to make up for the mistakes he made. But nobody seems to be able to trust him to do something good instead of being selfish and run when things get hard. That includes his sister. This is his chance to prove both Eli and Faith wrong, even Eli's father, who sees the hurt Cal caused his son to feel. He doesn't want for that to happen again.
The dialogues were something else I admired about this story; they were real-life, the angriness in Eli's words dripping off the pages, his hurt hidden behind his sarcasm, just like Cal's.
And after 28 chapters (named after song titles) comes that beautiful, sweet and emotional epilogue. I needed a couple of tissues after that. I loved how the author made Dusty Springfield's song part of the story, it suited this story so well! I don't think I can listen to it again without thinking of Cal and Eli.
So, I can't close this review other than shouting from the rooftops: READ THIS BOOK!
Thank you, that's all.
September 14, 2021
This cowboy romance left me feeling meh. It's definitely a case of "it's me, not you" so take this review with a grain of salt. Down Low has beautiful writing, characterization and hot sex, yet I was indifferent throughout most of the book. And this is completely unexpected considering what an angsty, emotionally heavy read it is. I didn't identify with the MCs so I was never really invested in their relationship.
Read this if you're into:
• cowboy romance
• bull riding
• second chance
• lots of angst
• closeted/out conflict
• small town setting
Read this if you're into:
• cowboy romance
• bull riding
• second chance
• lots of angst
• closeted/out conflict
• small town setting
October 1, 2020
Wonderful beginning for a new series. Ms St. John stepped away from suspense and law to bring us the rodeo world filled with thrill seeking bull riders and high stakes. I loved it! Told from single POV, s*xy and angsty AF, this was a story of second chances and finding one's way home. I kid you not, there were moments where it got very emotional. Cal, born in poverty and living under cruel hand of his uncle and Eli, strong and loyal son of a local preacher, were high school sweethearts. But fear and wrong choices forced them apart. But neither time nor distance could make them forget, and even the hardest of roads that of self forgiveness still led to home.
Oh, the anger and harsh words laced with simmering s*xual tension! It was delicious! So much frustration and unsaid words that needed to be spoken but the pain was too much. It was so good. Cal needed to see and understand for himself how he and those he loved changed and at the same time didn't. I loved how Eli showed him both with words and actions. Oh my gosh, the naughty actions those two got up to. *fans herself* Eli had such a dirty mouth I nearly swooned!!!
The end was so sweet! I knew what Cal was going to do, but Eli was nothing short of amazing. I loved how everything turned out. It was angsty but so worth it since all the pain and waiting made them appreciate their love and what they had even more. Copy received for my honest and unbiased review
Oh, the anger and harsh words laced with simmering s*xual tension! It was delicious! So much frustration and unsaid words that needed to be spoken but the pain was too much. It was so good. Cal needed to see and understand for himself how he and those he loved changed and at the same time didn't. I loved how Eli showed him both with words and actions. Oh my gosh, the naughty actions those two got up to. *fans herself* Eli had such a dirty mouth I nearly swooned!!!
The end was so sweet! I knew what Cal was going to do, but Eli was nothing short of amazing. I loved how everything turned out. It was angsty but so worth it since all the pain and waiting made them appreciate their love and what they had even more. Copy received for my honest and unbiased review
July 11, 2024
Rereading favourites seems to be a theme. As good as the previous times.
October 2, 2020
4.5 stars for this beautiful story - angst, emotion and longing. A story of two vulnerable men who needed to forgive the past to move forward into the future.
July 16, 2023
I think, the Preacher's son, Eli, kept himself in the closet, on the "down low," and Cal held his own in the rodeo world, coming home, keeping his injuries on the "down low."
Rodeo bull rider, Cal, 28, had to crawl home,
because the last bull ruined his career. He headed to Oregon and his sis, Faith.
Eli, 30, town Sheriff, doesn't want Cal there.
He's still hurting from his loss when Cal left ten years ago.
Cal doesn't tell anyone how badly he's broken, in more ways than one. A few things are going on, as Faith is battling her ex and an eviction, the Preacher is in the mix, plus Cal gets a job, where he rescues a child and injured man.
He and Eli are blaming each other for their split, and we see the arguments and talks, the slow burn leading to the tension and innuendo.
They do have a super night of hot sex, phew !
We watch the small town's characters, the truths and realities that are revealed.
It's a well written tale, with exciting folks, and a unique epilogue.
Enjoy !
=====
Rodeo bull rider, Cal, 28, had to crawl home,
because the last bull ruined his career. He headed to Oregon and his sis, Faith.
Eli, 30, town Sheriff, doesn't want Cal there.
He's still hurting from his loss when Cal left ten years ago.
Cal doesn't tell anyone how badly he's broken, in more ways than one. A few things are going on, as Faith is battling her ex and an eviction, the Preacher is in the mix, plus Cal gets a job, where he rescues a child and injured man.
He and Eli are blaming each other for their split, and we see the arguments and talks, the slow burn leading to the tension and innuendo.
They do have a super night of hot sex, phew !
We watch the small town's characters, the truths and realities that are revealed.
It's a well written tale, with exciting folks, and a unique epilogue.
Enjoy !
=====
July 13, 2022
Ride ‘em Cowboy!
Woohoo, buckaroo! This was a bucking fun!
Two timelines: present and 10 years back.
Second chance romance
Deep hurt on both sides
They both come together after they finally TALK about the past.
Ya, it’s a bit of the miscommunication trope, but it was really well done here!
My rec? It’s a yippee kay ay read!
Woohoo, buckaroo! This was a bucking fun!
Two timelines: present and 10 years back.
Second chance romance
Deep hurt on both sides
They both come together after they finally TALK about the past.
Ya, it’s a bit of the miscommunication trope, but it was really well done here!
My rec? It’s a yippee kay ay read!
March 5, 2022
So here's the thing: I'm from Europe, so everything cowboy-related is even more alien to me than a "real" scifi space-cowboy would be.
So this book, and the entire setting in a Midwest small town started on very unfamiliar territory for me. Cal returns home after a bull riding accident to this small town he's left 10 years ago, to his sister he stopped speaking to. And to the love of his life, Eli, "the son of a preacherman" (yes, as in THAT song. And I've been humming it for hours now, so why shouldn't you? )
And I wasn't very fond of the characters to start with - I perceived almost all of them as angry and narrow minded. So I've really considered to dnf, but both the writing and the narrator had me hooked.
And now I'm glad I did, because somehow, I started falling in love with that small town, with Cal, with Eli. And even Eli's father. Its not all fluff and roses, there's much bitterness and miscommunication to overcome, and in more than one occasion I wanted to shake either Cam or Eli and scream at them. But every book that evokes this kind of emotional response in a reader deserves nothing less than 4 stars, even if it is alien territory 😉
So this book, and the entire setting in a Midwest small town started on very unfamiliar territory for me. Cal returns home after a bull riding accident to this small town he's left 10 years ago, to his sister he stopped speaking to. And to the love of his life, Eli, "the son of a preacherman" (yes, as in THAT song. And I've been humming it for hours now, so why shouldn't you? )
And I wasn't very fond of the characters to start with - I perceived almost all of them as angry and narrow minded. So I've really considered to dnf, but both the writing and the narrator had me hooked.
And now I'm glad I did, because somehow, I started falling in love with that small town, with Cal, with Eli. And even Eli's father. Its not all fluff and roses, there's much bitterness and miscommunication to overcome, and in more than one occasion I wanted to shake either Cam or Eli and scream at them. But every book that evokes this kind of emotional response in a reader deserves nothing less than 4 stars, even if it is alien territory 😉
October 16, 2020
This gets tossed into the like not love category for me.
I had previously read a few books in another series by this author and felt the same. Liked them but didn't love them and never ended up finishing the series either. Still I read this one, because it had a different vibe and the reviews were good and why not?
There were things I liked. The writing was solid. I think the author has improved on that since the other series. The steamy scenes were pretty darn good. 🔥 But good steam does not make a book. (Unless I'm in a certain mood. And then it does.🤣)
The book is single POV and this didn't work for me because all I was exposed to was Cal. Cal and his many, many, many thoughts. Because of this, Eli remained more of a mystery and so I never fully connected with him or felt his feelings. Throw in some misunderstandings that, in my opinion, could have been cleared up quickly and I grew frustrated.
So not a total win. But not a complete loss. 🤷🏻♀️ I do not think I'd read further in the series.
I had previously read a few books in another series by this author and felt the same. Liked them but didn't love them and never ended up finishing the series either. Still I read this one, because it had a different vibe and the reviews were good and why not?
There were things I liked. The writing was solid. I think the author has improved on that since the other series. The steamy scenes were pretty darn good. 🔥 But good steam does not make a book. (Unless I'm in a certain mood. And then it does.🤣)
The book is single POV and this didn't work for me because all I was exposed to was Cal. Cal and his many, many, many thoughts. Because of this, Eli remained more of a mystery and so I never fully connected with him or felt his feelings. Throw in some misunderstandings that, in my opinion, could have been cleared up quickly and I grew frustrated.
So not a total win. But not a complete loss. 🤷🏻♀️ I do not think I'd read further in the series.
February 9, 2021
My favorite book this year so far!
It passed one of my most important criteria for a 5* book... made me cry ;). The book took me for a wild ride into the world of rodeo and even though I had no clue about it before reading, I was SO.INVESTED. The author's passion truly shines through in the writing.
Cal was a glorious broken mess and I loved everything about it.
Eli was the rock with a soft and gooey center that made me melt.
And then there was the small town setting that felt like a character in its own right. The details and beautiful descriptions transported me right there into the complex little world of Sweetwater where not everyone is who they seem at face value.
Also, I'll have one of Mabel's cinnamon rolls please!
It passed one of my most important criteria for a 5* book... made me cry ;). The book took me for a wild ride into the world of rodeo and even though I had no clue about it before reading, I was SO.INVESTED. The author's passion truly shines through in the writing.
Cal was a glorious broken mess and I loved everything about it.
Eli was the rock with a soft and gooey center that made me melt.
And then there was the small town setting that felt like a character in its own right. The details and beautiful descriptions transported me right there into the complex little world of Sweetwater where not everyone is who they seem at face value.
Also, I'll have one of Mabel's cinnamon rolls please!
July 24, 2022
Candy was right 😔
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