From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America

by Beth L. Bailey

From gentleman callers to big men on campus, from Coke dates to "parking," From Front Porch to Back Seat is the vivid history of dating in America. In chronicling a dramatic shift in patterns of courtship between the 1920s and the 1960s, Beth Bailey offers a provocative view of how we sought out mates-and of what accounted for our behavior. More than a quarter-century has passed since the dating system Bailey describes here lost its coherence and dominance. Yet the legacy of the system remains a strong part of our culture's attempt to define female and male roles alike.

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Sociology, Gender, 20th Century, American History, Sexuality

181 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1988

About the author

Beth L. Bailey is an American historian, who is currently serving as the Distinguished Professor at Kansas University.

Reviews

[Craig Werner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent monograph tracking the changing contours of courtship behavior from the early 20th century through the mid-Sixties, when the "sexual revolution"--Bailey explains precisely what she means by the term--fundamentally altered the nature of the beast. The primary change had to do with the movement of courtship from the private sphere of family and home to the public sphere dominated by metaphors of economic exchange. Making it clear that her concern is with conventions--the way behavior was described and proscribed--rather than experience--what people actually did, Bailey organizes her chapters around themes of control, competition, consumption, the sexual economy, etiquette, gender roles and "scientific" expertise and advice. She draws on a broad range of published sources from popular magazines and college newspapers to academic articles, building a convincing case that a remarkably consistent and coherent set of ideas recurred at every level of public discourse. She's clear that she's talking about mostly affluent, mostly white, entirely heterosexual norms, but contends, again convincingly, that those norms exerted their influence everywhere.

[Jonathan Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m probably the only one in my class who thought so, but learning about how dating and courtship changed during the first half or so of the twentieth century was rather interesting.

[Aly Lauck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting sociological and anthropological observations about the evolution of dating in the states.

[Maddie · Rating 4 out of 5]

In "From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America," Beth L. Bailey explores the development and traditions of the American dating system from 1920 to 1965. Arguing that changes in courtship practices fundamentally affected the way many Americans lived their day-to-day lives, Bailey’s narrative highlights the construction of different meanings of dating practices, as well as the cultural weight these changes carried during notable historical moments.

Some of these historical moments produced reverberations that created tension between the sexes, such as the way courtship practices transitioned from the “rating-dating” system used in the pre-WWII era to the early marriage-focused postwar years. As such, Bailey uses these conflicts to show the ways that dating had to change in order to accommodate the needs, wishes, and demands of a culture undoubtedly affected by loss (of men, of stability and security, of cultural and self-awareness, of opportunity, etc.). This pre-war/post-war example strongly represents the ways that circumstances often beyond the control of many Americans catapulted the American dating system into an alien realm; a realm that forced individuals to adopt different (yet sometimes more obliging) mindsets towards interactions with the opposite sex.

An engaging read for students of modern history or anyone interested in the historical basis for American dating, marriage, and family practices in the twentieth century.

[Lorna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I heard about this book via Twitter. I had no idea of how courtship had changed just in the previous century. I found myself taking notes so I could remember it all. The only drawback of the book is the publishing date of 1988. I'm sure you could fill a second volume with info from the next 34 years! Very interesting reading.

[˗ˏˋ cecile ˎˊ˗ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Personally, I thought this book was quite interesting to read due to the fact that it put dating in a different perspective that I didn't see it in before. It highlighted the idea that when dating came around men had to start paying for dates which made them an economic commodity for women, while in return women were expected to give men sexual favors. This book emphasized the way dating changed from pre-WW1 all the way to post-WW2, and it made clear that what we have idealized the dating scene from post-WW1, but in reality the way we date now is much better for longer lasting and happier relationships.
This is definitely an interesting read if research books interest you, if not then I would not recommend it. This book also goes over a lot of ancient beliefs that may seem rather sexist, so maybe stray away from this if you are not interested in reading those types of comments.

[Lionel Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dating is something that is so ubiquitous to society that it almost goes unnoticed. Almost everyone has done it with varying amounts of success and if we are lucky it even ends in finding a lifetime partner. But dating like most human institutions is an amorphous idea that has changed with society and the attitudes customs around gender and the proper role of men and women in society. In her book, Baily seeks to trace how this institution has changed over time arguing that to understand dating you also have to understand the changes in the economy and the expected roles of men and women in that changing economy. To take on this vast subject Baily focuses on middle-class cis-gendered white young people during this time period and relies heavily on advice columns college newspapers as well as letters and interviews from young people at the time. She also covers young teens just starting to date to a lesser extent.
The main conclusion Baily reaches is that dating changed with changing patterns of consumption which resulted in different expectations of behavior from each partner. An activity originally thought of as courting and centered in the woman's home giving her and her parents more control over the activity would shift outside the home to a more public setting giving more license to the man. As the name suggests this would often lead to fooling around in parked cars which developed their own expectations often putting an undue burden on the lady.
The author does a good job of using the sources to tease out the changing attitudes on dating and courtship and while many of the attitude and view on relations between the sexes that she cites seem extremely dated and even dangerous in our time period, the author does a good job of putting them in their proper historical context and the criticism that was leveled at them during that time. I would have liked to see her research expanded out to other groups such as working-class young people and non-white young people but I am not sure the available sources would have allowed this and the author makes clear from the beginning that her study will not cover these topics.
As far as I can tell there are not a lot of books on the history of dating but this one is a very good one that is well researched and written and that will hopefully spark more research in this field.

[Mary Lou · Rating 3 out of 5]

Published in 1988, this academic look at the evolution of 20th century, white, American courtship takes the reader right up to the advent of the computer age. While Bailey's exhaustive research would have made a fascinating article or interview, I found From Front Porch to Back Seat too long and too dry. There's barely a sentence that isn't footnoted or referenced. Studies are cited ad nauseum. And yet, for a 21st century reader, even too much is not enough.

Bailey discusses the impact of industry and automobiles on courtship (i.e. calling versus dating), the economics of relationships, the impact of WWII on marriage, etc. but her treatise ends before the advent of technology and the impact of emails, cell phones, text messaging, etc. on relationships. So, while Front Porch shows an interesting and dynamic period in some depth, it is only useful to the reader on that limited basis.

PS The final chapter entitled "Scientific Truth...and Love" talks about academic elites who "know better" taking over the role of teaching young men and women about romance, sex, and marriage, as well as students controlling curricula in colleges:

The modern age demanded scientific techniques, not folk wisdom..."necessary" scientific knowledge became increasingly inaccessible to lay people... only a 'professionally trained person can deal adequately with the mass of research'... In short, the professionals had declared themselves the new arbiters of convention and morality, translators and preachers of their own "science of family living."

Sounds like nearly every aspect of American life today. It should send shivers down the spine of any free-thinking adult.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a great combination of fabulous scholarship mixed with intensely readable prose. The subject matter is of interest to anyone, but despite my having read plenty of social history books about the 20s/30s and the post-WWII era, I was fascinated to contrast the pre and post WWII eras. There was an extremely different philosophy about acceptable behavior in each time period (the 20s and 30s were all about having as many different dates as possible, where the 50s were about having a small numbers of "steadies" as a roleplay for marriage) with strong gender roles putting an inordinate amount of pressure on all parties. I got a lot out of this book, which packed quite a punch for it's small size, and plan on recommending it to students as a good resource for social history term papers.

[(a)lyss(a) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book. Didn't feel like it dragged on or belitted fairly recent practices. A great history of dating, full of contridictions and anecdotes. If nothing else fun to read about how girls fought for popularity and that $10 orchid.

[Joshua Witham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant, from start to finish. One of the best books I’ve read on the history of marriage and courtship.

[Angelina Lambros · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever wondered how dating changed over time? Urbanization and technology moved dating into the public sphere. Consumer culture made it about spending money. This book discusses this shift in detail, as well as the emergence of youth culture in the 1920s, the evolving view of necking, petting, and premarital sex, the authorities who tried to regulate the youth's sexual experience, the large amount of etiquette guides during the post war era that tried to teach men and women to behave according to rigid gendered codes when dating, and the rise and fall of college courses pertaining to marriage education.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fantastic look at the history of dating in the twentieth century, with a particular focus on the long decade of the 1950s. Bailey starts off with a joke: A man went to call on a city girl, and when he arrived at her house, she was wearing a hat. Knee-slapping, I know. Bailey explains that before dating became universal, calling was the custom. A woman would invite a man to visit her at home, and woman's family would host and supervise the youths. A man could never invite himself to a woman's home. Twenty years later, advice columnists were writing that since the days when cavemen were dragging cavewomen around by the hair, men had always been the romantic pursuers, while older people in the same newspaper office with the advice columnist could remember that women used to control the dating system.

The weird, pre-war, rating-dating system, where the goal was to go on as many dates as possible with the most popular people possible, sounds insane. One hopes that that was mostly confined to college campuses. I've heard echoes of this system in archaic slang, but how could this romance by quantity actually function? The important thing is, the war killed it. The war was defined by a scarcity of men, and after the war, the actual or perceived scarcity of men (actual among 25-year-olds, perceived among high school students) and the post-war mandate for middle class nuclear families led to that wave of early marriage, and its younger corollary, "going steady," which was fought by adults who had grown up a short while ago when dating was never exclusive until you were engaged. When kids weren't going steady, they were calculating the economic worth of their dates: who is pretty enough to rate a hamburger and a movie, given the cost of hamburgers relative to a young man's hamburger budget. And young men were expected to pay for everything, and hold doors, and perform politeness publicly at all times. The cost of date relative to what might be exchanged was entirely the woman's fault, if this ever came up. A girl who got groped against her will was subconsciously asking for it, and needed psychoanalysis. This was the opinion of experts. And a whole professional identity of marriage experts sprung up to analyze and advise middle class teens and parents about what relationships and marriage should be. This was also youth-driven somehow, so that marriage experts attempting to advise newlyweds on finances were shot down, because other aspects of the newlywed state are more interesting.

This book, like 1950s American popular culture, was entirely white and middle class. It would have been interesting if Bailey had checked the advice columns at a few HBCUs to include some diversity to the salient contemporary discourse on parking or what have you. This book was also a bit dry. But it was a fascinating look at how much dating is a social construct, how it became an economic metaphor, and the nightmare from whence we came. I enjoyed it very much.

[Julia K · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bailey’s book is not about identifying specific personal experiences, but rather tracing the national conventions surrounding dating that structured day to day life. Locating the system of rules and expectations in an array of primary sources – advice and etiquette books, college newspapers, school songs, and mainstream academic texts – Bailey captures something interesting but I would prefer an analysis of fiction and music and movies! Also an unexamined focus on whiteness/straightness that gets tiring by the end.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read for a sociology course...was warned that it was super research-heavy. This is true to some degree, but it doesn't read like a thesis paper or anything. It was actually a lot more interesting than I thought. A good deep dive into the so-called "golden age" of dating in America. Would actually recommend :-)

[Parul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating read! Would love to read an update or sequel that covers modern dating apps culture.
I heard about this book on the podcast, If Books Could Kill, in reference to another book, The Rules (for dating and capturing Mr. Right) which is not recommended.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7Buw...

[Lavender Threads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly this was torture to get through because who doesn't read about old gender mores and get annoyed? But the information was, so far as I know, good.

The last chapter was about university-offered courses in marriage preparation and I think it could have been its own larger book.

[Ana M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was a fascinating and well researched look at dating in the first part of the 20th century. Unfortunately, since it was written in 1988, it sort of ends in the early 70s. Would love this author's thoughts on the 30 years left!

[Cassie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting! By its own admission this book’s scope is overtly concerned with white middle class heterosexual Americans, but I think the author’s distinction between convention and experience is a useful metric for making sense of those limitations.

[Andrew]

As mentioned at https://twitter.com/anamardoll/status...

[Lydia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely felt like there were gaps in the analysis, but fascinating nonetheless.

[Liz P · Rating 3 out of 5]

For some reason I was hoping for a little more detail.

[Christine]

read (skimmed) for a class, but i did want to actually read it so maybe i will eventually?

[MK LaFs · Rating 5 out of 5]

So interesting!

[Lydia · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[Caleb Nakhla · Rating 3 out of 5]

was mildly interesting but also boring as heck

(had to read for history)

[Abi Hamilton · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved this book it was so fun to read I read it all in one sitting! Super interesting to learn about.

[Hortensia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much less deep than I had expected, but a nice overview of the history of courtship from the 1910s to the 1950s or so. Individual chapters could be nicely paired with more "heavy" readings in a 200/300 level course. Though I liked the thrust of this book (about how the concept of dating arose and how this intersected with new concepts of sexuality), I didn't know what to think of the blanket statement at the beginning that everyone basically engaged with these middle class ideals, no matter their class. If this is true, this ought to have been a much bigger point (and it ought to have been proven!). But, the story nevertheless needed to have been told. It's a great example of how a book doesn't have to be as complicated as most of us make them. This has good points and it's simple to read. Many of my non historian friends read it before I did, and recommended it to me. The book should get 5 stars just for that!

[Xenophon Hendrix · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the space of about three-quarters of a century, courtship in the United States went through at least three different large-scale changes. This book is a short history that explains what happened and makes a credible stab at why it happened. I understand the reason it is so popular in university history and women's studies classes: It is interesting, informative, and readable.

I looked at the footnotes as I read. In addition to journal articles, the author supports her writing with quotations from twentieth-century etiquette manuals, advice books for youth, and magazines. Some of what Dr. Bailey presents and backs up with citations strikes the modern reader as appalling. It makes abundantly clear, without preaching, that the second wave of the feminist movement that took place in the mid-to-late 1960s through the mid-to-late 1970s was necessary.

I also learned why my grandmother thought her parlor was so important.

[Stephanie Tenney]

I enjoyed learning how our social culture of dating grew to be what it is today and how it began. I found it interesting how each phase throughout history was traced, such as calling, courting, "coke dates", rating and dating, and the sexual revolution. How ever i think that she could have gone into more depth about the age group she was writing about. Today, kids are beginning to date earlier and earlier and i would assume that when was the social norm, the women were about 17. however I also have to assume that the girls were younger because in the middle ages and the 1800's, women were "auctioned off like cattle"(to say it loosely, and they were all given away young.
I did enjoy her book and i learned a lot about dating in america from it. it definatly made me thankful for the type of relationship i have.