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Two Shakes of a Lamb's Tail
Two Shakes of a Lamb's Tail is the funny, illuminating diary of a year in the life of a New Zealand farm vetWith a husband and two children, 1200 sheep and 400 cattle, farm dogs and pet lambs, pigs bent on excavation and a goat bent on escape, country life is never dull. From calving cows to constipated dogs, weddings to weaning lambs, daffodils to ducklings to droughts, each season brings new challenges and delights. Sometimes it's exhausting but it's almost always a lot of fun - anyway, it's all part and parcel of the life of a Kiwi mother, farmer's wife and vet.
320 pages, Paperback
Published April 7, 2021
31 people are currently reading
238 people want to read
About the author
Danielle Hawkins
6 books197 followersBestselling New Zealand author Danielle Hawkins lives on a sheep and beef farm near Otorohanga with her husband and two children. She works part-time as a large animal vet, and writes when the kids are at school and she's not required for farming purposes. She is a keen gardener, an intermittently keen cook and an avid reader. Her other talents include memorising poetry, making bread and zapping flies with an electric fly swat. She tends to exaggerate to improve a story, with the result that her husband believes almost nothing she says.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
March 27, 2021
“I was adding it to the shopping list when I found I’d written down ‘mice.’ Why? What should I have written instead and will I remember in time? While pondering this question I noticed that I only shaved one leg in the shower last night. I think I might be losing my mind.
9.15pm I have it. Mince. Phew”
.
.
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Two Shakes of a Lamb’s Tail is the diary of Danielle’s life as a rural large animal vet in New Zealand. Not only that but she’s a farmer, a Mum, writes brilliant books and can feed a shearing crew single-handedly. I loved it and need volume 2 please HarperCollins NZ
If you want to know how to go about treating a bull for penile warts, a dribbling steer or a kiwi with something stuck in its beak, then this is the book for you. It seemingly takes a strong stomach to be a vet and a farmer 😳
I loved Danielle’s attitude towards custodianship of the land and completely empathised with the feeling of control compiling a to-do list brings even if you don’t manage to tick anything off it!
Thank you so much to the publisher for my #gifted copy.
9.15pm I have it. Mince. Phew”
.
.
.
Two Shakes of a Lamb’s Tail is the diary of Danielle’s life as a rural large animal vet in New Zealand. Not only that but she’s a farmer, a Mum, writes brilliant books and can feed a shearing crew single-handedly. I loved it and need volume 2 please HarperCollins NZ
If you want to know how to go about treating a bull for penile warts, a dribbling steer or a kiwi with something stuck in its beak, then this is the book for you. It seemingly takes a strong stomach to be a vet and a farmer 😳
I loved Danielle’s attitude towards custodianship of the land and completely empathised with the feeling of control compiling a to-do list brings even if you don’t manage to tick anything off it!
Thank you so much to the publisher for my #gifted copy.
August 17, 2021
An absolute must read. If you enjoyed Adam Kay's This Is Going To Hurt, then you will love this book.
A well-written, funny, engaging diary of rural kiwi life by a woman who epitomises what I want to be when I grow up. I am convinced Danielle could find a silver lining in a pool of sh#t - probably something to do with feeding her garden. If you've ever lamented not having enough hours in the day... Well this book may make you rethink that.
The writing is so clever and easy to read, the structure works well to create a narrative even through diary form.
I am a massive fan of Danielle Hawkins' novels but seeing a slice of her real life is jus the cherry on top.
Read this book. You won't regret it.
A well-written, funny, engaging diary of rural kiwi life by a woman who epitomises what I want to be when I grow up. I am convinced Danielle could find a silver lining in a pool of sh#t - probably something to do with feeding her garden. If you've ever lamented not having enough hours in the day... Well this book may make you rethink that.
The writing is so clever and easy to read, the structure works well to create a narrative even through diary form.
I am a massive fan of Danielle Hawkins' novels but seeing a slice of her real life is jus the cherry on top.
Read this book. You won't regret it.
Read
October 2, 2021Two Shakes of a Lamb’s Tail: The Diary of a Country Vet - Danielle Hawkins
This is an unfiltered account of what it’s like to be a busy mother, wife, farmer, vet and about the general constant juggle that comes with life.
Danielle does not mix her words or beat around the bush at all. She uses plenty of dry, dark, witty humour and sarcasm which I really appreciate. This can also often be a coping mechanism of sorts when working in any medical industry (human or otherwise).
If you have a weak stomach some parts may make you squirm but this is still an interesting look into the veterinary industry where there are many interesting stories to tell.
I’m very familiar with what it’s like to work in a rural, mixed practice vet clinic so I loved being able to relate to some of the stories and the day to day variety that comes with the job (seriously some days weird, whacky and wonderful doesn’t even cut it 😂).
A diary is a place where if you can’t be completely honest and unapologetically yourself what is the point? Danielle bravely does this in her diary entries some of these extremely candid accounts could put readers off. There were two particular entries that have personally left a bad taste in my mouth and left me wondering how these outdated themes made it through to be published in 2021.
I recently learnt a saying ‘don’t throw the baby out with the bath water’ and I think this is fitting here. 2/304 pages didn’t ruin the book completely. Overall it is a book I throughly enjoyed.
If your going to read this, go in ready for a laugh and embrace the gross-ness.
This is an unfiltered account of what it’s like to be a busy mother, wife, farmer, vet and about the general constant juggle that comes with life.
Danielle does not mix her words or beat around the bush at all. She uses plenty of dry, dark, witty humour and sarcasm which I really appreciate. This can also often be a coping mechanism of sorts when working in any medical industry (human or otherwise).
If you have a weak stomach some parts may make you squirm but this is still an interesting look into the veterinary industry where there are many interesting stories to tell.
I’m very familiar with what it’s like to work in a rural, mixed practice vet clinic so I loved being able to relate to some of the stories and the day to day variety that comes with the job (seriously some days weird, whacky and wonderful doesn’t even cut it 😂).
A diary is a place where if you can’t be completely honest and unapologetically yourself what is the point? Danielle bravely does this in her diary entries some of these extremely candid accounts could put readers off. There were two particular entries that have personally left a bad taste in my mouth and left me wondering how these outdated themes made it through to be published in 2021.
I recently learnt a saying ‘don’t throw the baby out with the bath water’ and I think this is fitting here. 2/304 pages didn’t ruin the book completely. Overall it is a book I throughly enjoyed.
If your going to read this, go in ready for a laugh and embrace the gross-ness.
May 3, 2021
Danielle Hawkins can do no wrong in my eyes. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't think any other writer captures the New Zealand rural voice as well as she does. It speaks volumes that I think this was probably my least favourite of her books to date on the whole, but it's still getting five stars. This one was a semi-autobiographical Kiwi James Herriot - esque entry, that brought back vivid childhood memories.
May 30, 2021
What a joy to read about a year in the life of a country vet who specialises in large animals. There are equal amounts of pathos, pragmatism and humour - Danielle’s neighbour bemoaning the fact she had forgotten to put makeup on her daughters for their dance recital and that they were supposed to be made up like prostitutes made me snort/laugh so loudly my colleagues all LOOKED at me. A bloody good Kiwi read.
July 21, 2021
I bought this book expecting a rural romance with a heavy dose of realism and down to earth pragmatic and credible characters rather than something semi autobiographical. That said this was an enjoyable read if not the escape I was looking for. Hawkins drew me into her life and left me filled with awe at the way she packs so much into her life and shows the reality of parenting, marriage and holding on to two very different careers. I live the way she reads to her kids and the books she/ they choose. I loved discovering we have a couple of shared favourite books we go back to and I loved reading about how they coped with lockdown. Her admiring comments about tomtits left me wishing we had them around here. AND the guilt that plagues her will resonate with many readers while her honest account of what breast cancer has done to her body andcher daily reminders as she showers or looks in a mirror was blunt and effective. I'm really glad I found this author.
June 5, 2023
I think I'm throwing this book out with the bath water. Sigh.
You know that feeling where you're really enjoying a book, and smiling and nodding along, and then you come up with rhetoric that you hate (ie "what is karakia doing in schools if English prayers have been outlawed") ... And it gives you the ick. And now I'm not sure if I can continue. Sigh. BUT I WAS REALLY ENJOYING THE BOOK AND MAYBE THEY REDEEM IT.
I really thought that 2021 book might be edited better. Sigh.
I just think that people need to be educated more before they make a funny quip about a karakia.
(And don't get me started on the dead lamb bit).
I'm sad to be putting this down. I did pay money for this book, and was enjoying it... But I don't think I can see past some of the overtones. I have the ick. Sorry team.
You know that feeling where you're really enjoying a book, and smiling and nodding along, and then you come up with rhetoric that you hate (ie "what is karakia doing in schools if English prayers have been outlawed") ... And it gives you the ick. And now I'm not sure if I can continue. Sigh. BUT I WAS REALLY ENJOYING THE BOOK AND MAYBE THEY REDEEM IT.
I really thought that 2021 book might be edited better. Sigh.
I just think that people need to be educated more before they make a funny quip about a karakia.
(And don't get me started on the dead lamb bit).
I'm sad to be putting this down. I did pay money for this book, and was enjoying it... But I don't think I can see past some of the overtones. I have the ick. Sorry team.
May 31, 2021
A totally enjoyable, funny diary of a large animal vet in NZ. Having read one of her fiction books I eagerly borrowed this from the library and it lived up to all expectations.
4.5 stars
4.5 stars
May 2, 2024
After two DNFs in a row, it was a pleasure to read something that kept my attention and wasn’t jaw droppingly stupid. Was it about nothing in particular? Yep. Was it entertaining and engaging? Also yep.
August 29, 2022
LOVE this book. It was so funny and kiwi, have recommended to all my family and friends
July 19, 2021
a nice read - the diary of a New Zealand vet and farmer and her day to day life over the period of one year, including the March 2020 Level 4 lockdown for Covid19.
June 18, 2021
Such a funny, and educational outlook on life as a farmers wife and the experiences of a true country vet. Set over a twelve month period thus encompasses everything kiwi style during the Covid pandemic. Thanks so much Danielle for taking us into your home, your yards and your Ute over 2019 - 2020.
June 11, 2021
You’re not really selling us on the joys of a vet’s life, Danielle, but it’s a lot of fun to read about. Vet, farmer, gardener, parent and writer - she packs in more before breakfast than most of us manage in a day. The pleasure of gardening in the rain, the delight of a successful cow autopsy, the rewards of lancing a boil. I’m glad I don’t have to do it but I’m also glad the author finds slivers of time to write about it so well.
August 27, 2021
Quite strange to be reading about last years Lockdown in this years Lockdown, but what a treat. It made me laugh out loud, nod in agreement and just thoroughly enjoy a great book.
June 7, 2025
Enjoyable read - interesting insight of a busy life as a vet, wife, mother in rural nz. I could relate to many of her insights and it was reassuring some of her insecurities and statements. Nice to read a every-day account of life and feel validated. Nice easy to pick up read. Going to pop it into the local vet's reception as I think someone there might enjoy it.
Here are some of my favourite bits
Two Shakes of a lamb’s tail
The nice young journalist quoted me at length and I sound like Lyn of Tawa after a hard night on the piss.
As Ursula le Guin (?) once said, the key to a successful marriage is leaving about half-a-dozen things a day unsaid.
This stain on the undies of society….
But I think the hospital parking building was probably designed by Crowley from good omens. (In the old days, demons used to tempt and corrupt people one soul and a time, but Crowley realised that it’s much, much more practical and efficient to do Satan’s work by tarnishing a large number of soulds just a little bit. Telemarketing, traffic jams, meaningless bureaucracy, HR departments…all evidence of Crowley’s evil genius. If that building isn’t Crowley’s magnum opus, it was designed by someone spectacularly cunning and nasty from the DHB’s financial department, who hypothesised that it the stress of parking kills the sickest and feeblest visitors to the hospital before they make it inside, you don’t have to squander valuable time and resources curing them.
Good night sweat pea
Choy suey – systems of the down
James got quite enthused once he was going (this is always the risk with men holding chainsaws – they don’t want to start but once they are going, they want to cut down everything in sight.
He’s not bad at chess – and he calls pawns ‘prawns’ which I find unbearably cute.
Ripgut brome – small, soft, innocuous-looking grass with seeds like arrow heads that worm their way through clothing into the victim’s skin.
Guided by the words of Winston Churchill: ‘A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.’
Read – Over my Dead body by June Opie
Read A wizard of Earthsea and The Tombs of Atuan – Ursula K Le Guin
Q what is red and sits in the corner?
A a naughty strawberry
Here are some of my favourite bits
Two Shakes of a lamb’s tail
The nice young journalist quoted me at length and I sound like Lyn of Tawa after a hard night on the piss.
As Ursula le Guin (?) once said, the key to a successful marriage is leaving about half-a-dozen things a day unsaid.
This stain on the undies of society….
But I think the hospital parking building was probably designed by Crowley from good omens. (In the old days, demons used to tempt and corrupt people one soul and a time, but Crowley realised that it’s much, much more practical and efficient to do Satan’s work by tarnishing a large number of soulds just a little bit. Telemarketing, traffic jams, meaningless bureaucracy, HR departments…all evidence of Crowley’s evil genius. If that building isn’t Crowley’s magnum opus, it was designed by someone spectacularly cunning and nasty from the DHB’s financial department, who hypothesised that it the stress of parking kills the sickest and feeblest visitors to the hospital before they make it inside, you don’t have to squander valuable time and resources curing them.
Good night sweat pea
Choy suey – systems of the down
James got quite enthused once he was going (this is always the risk with men holding chainsaws – they don’t want to start but once they are going, they want to cut down everything in sight.
He’s not bad at chess – and he calls pawns ‘prawns’ which I find unbearably cute.
Ripgut brome – small, soft, innocuous-looking grass with seeds like arrow heads that worm their way through clothing into the victim’s skin.
Guided by the words of Winston Churchill: ‘A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.’
Read – Over my Dead body by June Opie
Read A wizard of Earthsea and The Tombs of Atuan – Ursula K Le Guin
Q what is red and sits in the corner?
A a naughty strawberry
April 12, 2025
4/5 Stars
I had never heard of Danielle Hawkins before receiving this book for book club - more’s the pity! Move over Bridget Jones, there’s a new diarist in town only she’s wearing gumboots (Wellies) and dissecting bull testes…
Some names have been changed, I assume to protect the innocent (and I discovered this with my post-reading Google stalking), but this book is a highly entertaining romp through a year in the life as a part-time vet, sheep farming, mother-of-two’s life - oh, and there were pesky COVID lockdowns going on too.
It appears that her poor husband is an expert farmer but a little lacking in the culinary department “I should say that last night he produced a perfectly respectable, barely peculiar meal of sausages, potato cakes and fried slices of fresh pineapple”. Her daughter wants to rescue all waifs and strays and nurses them from her room, and her son appears to be a typical boy with a love of motorbikes and a dream of being an All Black when he grows up.
Between balancing her responsibilities at work, bull testes and more, she also co-runs a 460 hectare farm, which comes with its own set of challenges like bait stations and misbehaving pigs. As someone on a smaller block can attest to, animals never do as you would want them to and literally anything can go wrong at any time. That said, there’s also an interesting informative streak throughout, some pearls of which I have already quoted to my partner for his consideration.
If you’re interested in learning about rural living in NZ, would like a humorous but real slice of life as a vet, or just are looking for a great new read, I would 100% recommend this book.
I had never heard of Danielle Hawkins before receiving this book for book club - more’s the pity! Move over Bridget Jones, there’s a new diarist in town only she’s wearing gumboots (Wellies) and dissecting bull testes…
Some names have been changed, I assume to protect the innocent (and I discovered this with my post-reading Google stalking), but this book is a highly entertaining romp through a year in the life as a part-time vet, sheep farming, mother-of-two’s life - oh, and there were pesky COVID lockdowns going on too.
It appears that her poor husband is an expert farmer but a little lacking in the culinary department “I should say that last night he produced a perfectly respectable, barely peculiar meal of sausages, potato cakes and fried slices of fresh pineapple”. Her daughter wants to rescue all waifs and strays and nurses them from her room, and her son appears to be a typical boy with a love of motorbikes and a dream of being an All Black when he grows up.
Between balancing her responsibilities at work, bull testes and more, she also co-runs a 460 hectare farm, which comes with its own set of challenges like bait stations and misbehaving pigs. As someone on a smaller block can attest to, animals never do as you would want them to and literally anything can go wrong at any time. That said, there’s also an interesting informative streak throughout, some pearls of which I have already quoted to my partner for his consideration.
If you’re interested in learning about rural living in NZ, would like a humorous but real slice of life as a vet, or just are looking for a great new read, I would 100% recommend this book.
September 11, 2022
A light, breezy read. Amusing enough but no real plot - it really is just a list of what the author does each day for a year. Interesting to learn more about life on a New Zealand farm and the many kinds of patients rural vets have to deal with.
My big take-away is that cows and sheep are given a whole lotta drugs. The author must’ve mentioned pumping an animal full of antibiotics about 27 times.
My big take-away is that cows and sheep are given a whole lotta drugs. The author must’ve mentioned pumping an animal full of antibiotics about 27 times.
August 20, 2021
Such a great book! I could really relate to the author (living on a farm in New Zealand myself). There are really not enough books like this! It is basically a published diary about all the quirks and problems of living rural.
I honestly wish there was a second book! Or a blog! More of this please!
I honestly wish there was a second book! Or a blog! More of this please!
September 29, 2021
I loved this book. I was having a horrible week post lockdown with unsettled children and a stressed out husband and this book was the most wonderful escape. I only wish it was a two year diary so that it didn’t end so soon. I plan on recommending it to everyone, except the people I plan on buying it for for Christmas.
October 15, 2021
Arrived yesterday, finished today. I really enjoy this author, but I think (although I'm about to re-read all her other books) that this is the best so far. My daughter/husband have a sheep and beef farm so I could relate to much of its content, and it's funny and heart warming too. Real people.
November 17, 2021
I have read Danielle’s other books and was a little unsure about this diary genre at first but I really loved this book!
It was laugh out loud funny and it felt like you were reading a letter from a friend by the end. Such a great insight into farming life, vet life and her family life.
I highly recommend!
It was laugh out loud funny and it felt like you were reading a letter from a friend by the end. Such a great insight into farming life, vet life and her family life.
I highly recommend!
April 21, 2022
Full of energy
Go, Go, Go! A must read for those who think farm life is easy. A constant state of energy is a must for this vet and farmer. Loved that with all the chaos she finds some way to tame it into an ordinary life. Not so ordinary, more like exceptional. Enjoyed immensely !
Go, Go, Go! A must read for those who think farm life is easy. A constant state of energy is a must for this vet and farmer. Loved that with all the chaos she finds some way to tame it into an ordinary life. Not so ordinary, more like exceptional. Enjoyed immensely !
June 26, 2024
This was a funny book of stories from the daily life of a vet.
Some of the stories were hilarious and some were what you would expect.
I never thought being a vet would be so varied, though! It definitely opened my eyes about how hard that job can be!
9/10 only because some of the rants were unnecessary.
Some of the stories were hilarious and some were what you would expect.
I never thought being a vet would be so varied, though! It definitely opened my eyes about how hard that job can be!
9/10 only because some of the rants were unnecessary.
July 19, 2024
Daily insights into the world of this author. Quite eye-opening for this suburban reader. The author gives us a view of what it's like to live day to day as a wife, mother and vet living on a farm in New Zealand. I love the honesty of her writing. I've not read any of her novels but plan to do so. I enjoyed this book in small readings so that I could make the book last longer.
September 12, 2021
Entertaining and familiar read. Enjoyed reading most of it, though got a bit over it by the end. A bit gutted that the author seems to come across rude and useless farmer's all the time, we're not all like that!
April 13, 2021
An entertaining read.
May 13, 2021
Loved it!!
May 28, 2021
Reading this made me see why peoeple want to live rurally. Very similar vibes to her other novels, and another 'diary format' book which is definitely a fast read. Danielle seems so cool!
June 14, 2021
3.5 stars
Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews