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Please Don't Hug Me
A funny-serious own-voices story about what happens when you stop trying to be the person other people expect you to be and give yourself a go.
Erin is looking forward to Schoolies, at least she thinks she is. But things are not going to plan. Life is getting messy, and for Erin, who is autistic, that’s a big problem. She’s lost her job at Surf Zone after an incident that clearly was not her fault. Her driving test went badly even though she followed the instructions perfectly. Her boyfriend is not turning out to be the romantic type. And she’s missing her brother, Rudy, who left almost a year ago.
But now that she’s writing letters to him, some things are beginning to make just a tiny bit of sense.
Erin is looking forward to Schoolies, at least she thinks she is. But things are not going to plan. Life is getting messy, and for Erin, who is autistic, that’s a big problem. She’s lost her job at Surf Zone after an incident that clearly was not her fault. Her driving test went badly even though she followed the instructions perfectly. Her boyfriend is not turning out to be the romantic type. And she’s missing her brother, Rudy, who left almost a year ago.
But now that she’s writing letters to him, some things are beginning to make just a tiny bit of sense.
277 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2020
43 people are currently reading
2903 people want to read
About the author
Kay Kerr
8 books147 followersKay Kerr is an autistic author and journalist from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland.
PLEASE DON'T HUG ME is Kay's first book, and was shortlisted for the Australian Book Industry Awards (ABIAs) Book of the Year for Older Readers. It was also a Children's Book Council of Australia (CBCA) 2021 Notable Book for Older Readers.
Her second novel, SOCIAL QUEUE, is a YA romance with an autistic girl at the heart of it. It was shortlisted for the Queensland Literary Awards, and also a CBCA Notable Book for Older Readers.
Her narrative non-fiction book, LOVE & AUTISM, is out now. It is an exploration and celebration of autistic lives, as well as a return to her journalistic roots.
PLEASE DON'T HUG ME is Kay's first book, and was shortlisted for the Australian Book Industry Awards (ABIAs) Book of the Year for Older Readers. It was also a Children's Book Council of Australia (CBCA) 2021 Notable Book for Older Readers.
Her second novel, SOCIAL QUEUE, is a YA romance with an autistic girl at the heart of it. It was shortlisted for the Queensland Literary Awards, and also a CBCA Notable Book for Older Readers.
Her narrative non-fiction book, LOVE & AUTISM, is out now. It is an exploration and celebration of autistic lives, as well as a return to her journalistic roots.
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July 10, 2019the title of this book is something I want on a t-shirt
May 28, 2020
Please Don't Hug Me is compulsory reading. Narrated from the perspective of seventeen year old Erin as she shares her thoughts in a series of letters to her brother Rudy. Rudy was a popular young man and after a disagreement with his parents, escaped the confines of the family home and the expectations of his parents. Five year old Oliver barely remembers his brother, their mother is consumed by keeping her family together while their father searches for understanding at the local tavern, drowning his sorrows in alcohol.
Erin is an intelligent and incredible young woman, navigating a neurotypical environment from the perspective of a person on the spectrum and sharing her intimate, analytical, and often tumultuous thoughts on life, love, friends, family and autism. Erin begins her correspondence as she prepares to look for casual employment, leaving her previous position feeling misunderstood and underappreciated, resulting in an outburst. For Erin, feeling emotional and overwhelmed are two instances in which her psychologist encourages her to practice being present in the moment, while Erin keeps a secret list of her indiscretions each day to release her tension and as she enters her final year of school, Rudy is missing her important milestones.
Beyond her family, Erin has only confided in two friends of her diagnosis, her best friend since childhood Dee and her boyfriend, the disappointing Mitch. Dee is friendly, created from sunshine and laughter and understands when Erin is feeling overwhelmed, arming herself with doughnuts and waiting on her doorstep. Dee is charming, lighthearted and a young woman also finding her place in the world but her friendship with Erin wasn't always a positive influence on Erin's mental health. Especially at school, allowing her friends to make Erin feel uncomfortable. Her friendship is important to Erin but also restricted her personal growth as she transitioned into adulthood.
As Erin begins in her new position at a clothing store predominantly for seniors, she develops a friendship with Agnus, an Indigenous, Quandamooka young woman, musician and activist who endures depression. Aggie is a wonderful influence on Erin, allowing her to guide their friendship so she feels comfortable, offering support and understanding. In comparison to her friendship with Dee, their friendship signified a new and exciting chapter of life for Erin.
Throughout her letters, we see Erin grow in confidence, learning to care for herself and others and coping mechanisms. Please Don't Hug Me encourages awareness of those on the spectrum, empathy and the mentality from neurotypical society. Observing our environment through the thoughts of Erin was remarkable and profoundly intimate, navigating social situations, employment, her education and friendships and relationships. It was beautiful, poignant and an incredibly important read, as neurological conditions are rarely discussed in young adult literature.
Sincere, unflinching and achingly beautiful, Please Don't Hug Me is an exceptional and remarkable debut
Erin is an intelligent and incredible young woman, navigating a neurotypical environment from the perspective of a person on the spectrum and sharing her intimate, analytical, and often tumultuous thoughts on life, love, friends, family and autism. Erin begins her correspondence as she prepares to look for casual employment, leaving her previous position feeling misunderstood and underappreciated, resulting in an outburst. For Erin, feeling emotional and overwhelmed are two instances in which her psychologist encourages her to practice being present in the moment, while Erin keeps a secret list of her indiscretions each day to release her tension and as she enters her final year of school, Rudy is missing her important milestones.
Beyond her family, Erin has only confided in two friends of her diagnosis, her best friend since childhood Dee and her boyfriend, the disappointing Mitch. Dee is friendly, created from sunshine and laughter and understands when Erin is feeling overwhelmed, arming herself with doughnuts and waiting on her doorstep. Dee is charming, lighthearted and a young woman also finding her place in the world but her friendship with Erin wasn't always a positive influence on Erin's mental health. Especially at school, allowing her friends to make Erin feel uncomfortable. Her friendship is important to Erin but also restricted her personal growth as she transitioned into adulthood.
As Erin begins in her new position at a clothing store predominantly for seniors, she develops a friendship with Agnus, an Indigenous, Quandamooka young woman, musician and activist who endures depression. Aggie is a wonderful influence on Erin, allowing her to guide their friendship so she feels comfortable, offering support and understanding. In comparison to her friendship with Dee, their friendship signified a new and exciting chapter of life for Erin.
Throughout her letters, we see Erin grow in confidence, learning to care for herself and others and coping mechanisms. Please Don't Hug Me encourages awareness of those on the spectrum, empathy and the mentality from neurotypical society. Observing our environment through the thoughts of Erin was remarkable and profoundly intimate, navigating social situations, employment, her education and friendships and relationships. It was beautiful, poignant and an incredibly important read, as neurological conditions are rarely discussed in young adult literature.
Sincere, unflinching and achingly beautiful, Please Don't Hug Me is an exceptional and remarkable debut
January 2, 2022
This book took me by surprise because although I loved the cover I also really liked the title, but I wasn’t expecting it to be as moving and emotional as it was.
For any teenager finishing high school is a time of excitement as they are about to enter the next phase of their lives, but for Erin, it’s a time of uncertainty and she’s unsure of anything. Erin has autism so many things in life are challenging for her and if that’s not enough her brother left almost a year ago and she misses him so much. She writes letters to him regularly telling him about what is going on in her life, but the mystery of where Rudy kept me guessing for quite some time.
Aussie author Kay Kerr has done a brilliant job in writing this book. Highly recommended.
For any teenager finishing high school is a time of excitement as they are about to enter the next phase of their lives, but for Erin, it’s a time of uncertainty and she’s unsure of anything. Erin has autism so many things in life are challenging for her and if that’s not enough her brother left almost a year ago and she misses him so much. She writes letters to him regularly telling him about what is going on in her life, but the mystery of where Rudy kept me guessing for quite some time.
Aussie author Kay Kerr has done a brilliant job in writing this book. Highly recommended.
October 21, 2020
Please note, this review comes from my point of view as an autistic.
I can count on one hand the number of books that have made me cry. Please Don't Hug Me just became one of them.
Please Don't Hug Me is kind of like the tv show Atypical, if Atypical was in book form and actually had good autistic representation. It was the perfect example of what it's like being autistic in high school. Obviously, autism is a spectrum so no two experiences of autism are going to be the same, but Please Don't Hug Me did a really great job at detailing some of the struggles autistics experience on a daily basis. Kerr's descriptions of autism & autistic traits were incredibly detailed, accurate and relatable. It was probably the best description of meltdowns (or outbursts, as Erin calls them) that I've seen, depicting the articulation at the frustration towards neurotypical friends and family.
Erin's high school experience was so much like mine that it's eerie - the nice/mean friends, working at an 'old person' shop, the formal experience (I had a meltdown in the bathroom, luckily enough I did have some great friends), failing the driving test because the instructor gave bad instructions, siblings that don't understand, taking in another kid for a time and parents that aren't really accepting of her autism. And in more recent years, drinking to help you make small talk and be better in social situations, but then experiencing a low over the next few days, questioning if you were too loud, talked too much, etc. It was great to see the high school experience depicted from an autistic POV, and honestly, I think this book should be required reading in all Australian high schools.
Please Don't Hug Me also contained the best description I'd seen of explaining why many autistics aren't 'out' as autistic amongst their friends, family, or at school/work, detailing that while labels can be helpful, they can also be harmful when outsiders twist them without actually understanding them (which unfortunately happens all too often with autism).
and perfectly summed up the autistic experience of dealing with your emotions differently to other people, and having to mask
I don't typically like the epistolary (letter) format, but it worked really well in this case. It gave a great insight into Erin's mind, whilst still allowing for a lot of mystery in terms of the plot (and Rudy). The 14th September letter detailing an outburst and its aftermath, and how Erin is different on the outside to the inside - who people think she is isn't who she actually is - had me fighting back tears. It was an incredibly accurate depiction, and I felt seen.
I think Please Don't Hug Me would be enjoyable to neuro-divergent and neuro-typical alike, as Erin goes through her final year in high school, with friendships, romance, exams, schoolies, and the struggle of being a teenager trying to find your place in the world. I hope there's going to be a sequel, as although the book definitely ended, there are still elements I want to know more about - Tom, Matt and Damo, Skyscraper Simon (a potential romance, perhaps?), Amy, her parents, and Erin's future. Erin still has more stories to tell, and I want to read them!!
I can count on one hand the number of books that have made me cry. Please Don't Hug Me just became one of them.
Please Don't Hug Me is kind of like the tv show Atypical, if Atypical was in book form and actually had good autistic representation. It was the perfect example of what it's like being autistic in high school. Obviously, autism is a spectrum so no two experiences of autism are going to be the same, but Please Don't Hug Me did a really great job at detailing some of the struggles autistics experience on a daily basis. Kerr's descriptions of autism & autistic traits were incredibly detailed, accurate and relatable. It was probably the best description of meltdowns (or outbursts, as Erin calls them) that I've seen, depicting the articulation at the frustration towards neurotypical friends and family.
Erin's high school experience was so much like mine that it's eerie - the nice/mean friends, working at an 'old person' shop, the formal experience (I had a meltdown in the bathroom, luckily enough I did have some great friends), failing the driving test because the instructor gave bad instructions, siblings that don't understand, taking in another kid for a time and parents that aren't really accepting of her autism. And in more recent years, drinking to help you make small talk and be better in social situations, but then experiencing a low over the next few days, questioning if you were too loud, talked too much, etc. It was great to see the high school experience depicted from an autistic POV, and honestly, I think this book should be required reading in all Australian high schools.
Please Don't Hug Me also contained the best description I'd seen of explaining why many autistics aren't 'out' as autistic amongst their friends, family, or at school/work, detailing that while labels can be helpful, they can also be harmful when outsiders twist them without actually understanding them (which unfortunately happens all too often with autism).
“Sometimes I think it would be easier if everyone knew that some things are really easy for me but others are really hard. But then I think, it’s no one else’s business and I don’t owe anyone an apology or an explanation. Everyone has their stuff, and people don’t seem to want to talk about theirs so why should I be the only one? And then sometimes I wonder if I should even have this diagnosis, because it makes it seem like ‘normal’ people are on one side of the room and ‘abnormal’ people are over the other, when really it’s more of a whole range of different brains than a binary thing. I’m rambling now but you know what I mean. A label is fine in the hands of the person wearing it, it’s when someone else takes it and uses it without understanding what it actually means I wonder if it’s really so good at all.”
and perfectly summed up the autistic experience of dealing with your emotions differently to other people, and having to mask
“Your emotions have always been more obvious than mine. I have to perform mine in a way that isn’t real to me in order for people to believe them.”
I don't typically like the epistolary (letter) format, but it worked really well in this case. It gave a great insight into Erin's mind, whilst still allowing for a lot of mystery in terms of the plot (and Rudy). The 14th September letter detailing an outburst and its aftermath, and how Erin is different on the outside to the inside - who people think she is isn't who she actually is - had me fighting back tears. It was an incredibly accurate depiction, and I felt seen.
I think Please Don't Hug Me would be enjoyable to neuro-divergent and neuro-typical alike, as Erin goes through her final year in high school, with friendships, romance, exams, schoolies, and the struggle of being a teenager trying to find your place in the world. I hope there's going to be a sequel, as although the book definitely ended, there are still elements I want to know more about - Tom, Matt and Damo, Skyscraper Simon (a potential romance, perhaps?), Amy, her parents, and Erin's future. Erin still has more stories to tell, and I want to read them!!
July 5, 2020
Trigger warnings:
This was something of a slow burn for me. The epistolic nature of the story worked well, but it reminded me a little too much of John Marsden's Letters From the Inside, in that it seemed obvious that there was a lot Erin was leaving out of her letters.
That said, there's a ton of humour in the story - I howled with laughter over Erin's driving test - and I really liked all the characters and the way that friendships grow and change over the course of the story. So while the pacing wasn't as fast as I would have liked, I ultimately had a lot of fun and a lot of feelings while reading it.
One brief spoilery thought:
This was something of a slow burn for me. The epistolic nature of the story worked well, but it reminded me a little too much of John Marsden's Letters From the Inside, in that it seemed obvious that there was a lot Erin was leaving out of her letters.
That said, there's a ton of humour in the story - I howled with laughter over Erin's driving test - and I really liked all the characters and the way that friendships grow and change over the course of the story. So while the pacing wasn't as fast as I would have liked, I ultimately had a lot of fun and a lot of feelings while reading it.
One brief spoilery thought:
September 27, 2020
An own voices contemporary about the difficulties and inner thought processes of a teenage girl diagnosed with ASD. This is the best contemporary I've read all year! The character voice was so raw, honest and vivid.
Full review to come.
Full review to come.
August 23, 2021
What a perfectly titled book for our times! Please Don't Hug Me is an Own Voices narrative that focuses on Erin, a year 12 student who is autistic. Things are not going to plan: she's lost her part-time job, her driving test went badly and her boyfriend is a bit of an asshole. Mostly though, she's missing her brother Rudy. The story is told through the letters Erin writes Rudy, keeping him up to date on the messiness of her life. This is a perfect coming-of-age story that takes a relatable ride through that journey of finding your place in the world. Older teenagers are bound to fall in love with the story and the writing. Kay Kerr gives authentic insight into the mind of a teenager who is both on the autism spectrum, and on the cusp of adulthood.
January 9, 2022
I heard author Kay Kerr read an extract from her debut novel Please Don’t Hug Me (Text 2020) before it was published, at an Avid Reader event for author Graeme Simsion. She read the part about driving (straight through) a roundabout during a driving test and it was hilarious. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to read the whole book, because it’s a fantastic young adult novel about grief, finding your way, autism, being different, families and emotions. It’s all the feels.
Erin is finishing Year 12 and looking forward (maybe?) to Schoolies. But she’s lost her job, her driving test went badly (see above) and her ‘boyfriend’ is not great. On top of all that, her older brother Rudy left a year ago and she misses him terribly. The novel is a series of letters from Erin to Rudy, as she pours out her heart to him, tries to make sense of him being gone, and wishes desperately he would return to the family.
It is through this practice of letter-writing that Erin is able to articulate many of the feelings and emotions she has had trouble talking about in person. And as she writes about her experiences, her choices, her responses and the subsequent repercussions of her actions, her life begins to make a little more sense.
Please Don’t Hug Me is a wonderful addition to Aussie YA literature and will resonate with so many adolescents searching for their identity, trying to fit in, and attempting to work out how they want to be, and to be seen, in the world. And it is a gentle and tender meditation on grief.
Kay Kerr’s second novel is already out and now I can’t wait to read it.
Erin is finishing Year 12 and looking forward (maybe?) to Schoolies. But she’s lost her job, her driving test went badly (see above) and her ‘boyfriend’ is not great. On top of all that, her older brother Rudy left a year ago and she misses him terribly. The novel is a series of letters from Erin to Rudy, as she pours out her heart to him, tries to make sense of him being gone, and wishes desperately he would return to the family.
It is through this practice of letter-writing that Erin is able to articulate many of the feelings and emotions she has had trouble talking about in person. And as she writes about her experiences, her choices, her responses and the subsequent repercussions of her actions, her life begins to make a little more sense.
Please Don’t Hug Me is a wonderful addition to Aussie YA literature and will resonate with so many adolescents searching for their identity, trying to fit in, and attempting to work out how they want to be, and to be seen, in the world. And it is a gentle and tender meditation on grief.
Kay Kerr’s second novel is already out and now I can’t wait to read it.
July 15, 2020
Our first book for the #DisabilityReads book club with Tash (Jouljet) and me was Kay Kerr’s Please Dont Hug Me. It’s an #OwnVoices YA novel about Erin, who is navigating late teenagehood, year 12, a part time job, a bit of a dysfunctional family, friendships and a rather disappointing boyfriend. Erin is autistic - and Kay is also autistic.
The book is in letter format, which I liked - it reminded me of some m books I’d read as a young person - Judy Blume and John Marsden come to mind. The letters are to Erin’s older brother Rudy, and like Tash, I was intrigued to know where he was.
There were some really poignant lines about identity and pride, which made me so happy. Erin wrote “Without ASD there is no me, because it’s as much a part of who I am as my skin or my blood.” I can definitely see that autistic readers will have many lightbulb moments reading this, and readers who aren’t autistic (especially parents of autistic children)will learn a lot.
At times I felt the book read a little like a laundry list of Autism symptoms - which is understandable when writing to explain disability to a wide audience. But I think that this will make autistic readers relate with Erin a lot. I wasn’t keen on the appearance related nicknames - like Freckly Ben, Pointy Kathy and Jessica Rabbit. While I understand this might have been a way Erin managed to recognise people, as an appearance activist, I fear this adds to appearance related stigma and ridicule, even though perhaps unintentional.
(Kay wrote an explanation about the appearance related nicknames on my Instagram post about the book, saying “Thank you so much for sharing the considered review and beautiful pic! I can understand your feelings about the appearance nicknames. My choice to include them reflected my own struggles with prosopagnosia and trying to find ways to remember people. I don’t say that as a defence or excuse, but as an explanation that perhaps someone reading might recognize in themselves or an autistic family member. And I do take your point on stigma and ridicule on board. Thank you again ❤️”)
I also loved the cover - so bright and eye catching. When I went to have a photo with this book in Readings (I had lent my copy out at the time), another customer was asking for it too - to give to their 15 year old newly diagnosed autistic relative. I’m so glad this book is available for people who need to see themselves in literature.
This is an important book for autistic writers and readers alike. It’s a celebration of autism, and also the power of positive supports. I’m excited to see what Kay writes next.
The book is in letter format, which I liked - it reminded me of some m books I’d read as a young person - Judy Blume and John Marsden come to mind. The letters are to Erin’s older brother Rudy, and like Tash, I was intrigued to know where he was.
There were some really poignant lines about identity and pride, which made me so happy. Erin wrote “Without ASD there is no me, because it’s as much a part of who I am as my skin or my blood.” I can definitely see that autistic readers will have many lightbulb moments reading this, and readers who aren’t autistic (especially parents of autistic children)will learn a lot.
At times I felt the book read a little like a laundry list of Autism symptoms - which is understandable when writing to explain disability to a wide audience. But I think that this will make autistic readers relate with Erin a lot. I wasn’t keen on the appearance related nicknames - like Freckly Ben, Pointy Kathy and Jessica Rabbit. While I understand this might have been a way Erin managed to recognise people, as an appearance activist, I fear this adds to appearance related stigma and ridicule, even though perhaps unintentional.
(Kay wrote an explanation about the appearance related nicknames on my Instagram post about the book, saying “Thank you so much for sharing the considered review and beautiful pic! I can understand your feelings about the appearance nicknames. My choice to include them reflected my own struggles with prosopagnosia and trying to find ways to remember people. I don’t say that as a defence or excuse, but as an explanation that perhaps someone reading might recognize in themselves or an autistic family member. And I do take your point on stigma and ridicule on board. Thank you again ❤️”)
I also loved the cover - so bright and eye catching. When I went to have a photo with this book in Readings (I had lent my copy out at the time), another customer was asking for it too - to give to their 15 year old newly diagnosed autistic relative. I’m so glad this book is available for people who need to see themselves in literature.
This is an important book for autistic writers and readers alike. It’s a celebration of autism, and also the power of positive supports. I’m excited to see what Kay writes next.
April 19, 2021
the fact the protagonist finds comfort in starting A BLOG🗣🗣🗣
July 20, 2021
This book did a lot of really great things, particularly exploring how autistic people deal with grief differently, but I found the tone of voice very young for a YA novel
May 28, 2020
This was such a unique and refreshing read. I was immediately drawn to it because of the female ASD voice.
ASD is something close to my heart and Kerr delivered something so wonderful. A depiction of what its like to live seeing the world differently and not being able to have anyone see it the way you do.
I loved the way that this book was delivered. It felt more personal and you could see Erin growing with each new letter.
A great read.
ASD is something close to my heart and Kerr delivered something so wonderful. A depiction of what its like to live seeing the world differently and not being able to have anyone see it the way you do.
I loved the way that this book was delivered. It felt more personal and you could see Erin growing with each new letter.
A great read.
October 21, 2021
If I had to think of one word to describe this book, I think it’d be “raw”.
I’d had it on my radar for a while, mostly for the cover I think. Who doesn’t love a cinnamon donut? I wasn’t sure why the cover was cinnamon donuts, but it turns out that when our main character Erin has a bad day, her best friend brings her hot cinnamon donuts from a donut chain here in Australia called Donut King (who do absolutely excellent hot cinnamon donuts). This was something I could definitely get behind. I know donuts would definitely make a bad day better for me.
Erin is autistic and at the moment, she is going through a time. She’s in her final year of school, navigating everything that brings and means especially with her diagnosis, which means that situations that are not stressful for others, or that they enjoy, are not something that Erin enjoys. She only really has one proper friend, the rest of the group are just friends with her best friend and seem to regard Erin as an inevitability and generally treat her with indifference ranging to hostility. Erin doesn’t enjoy parties or large social gatherings but she’s saving for schoolies anyway, because it’s sold as this defining experience – the reward of all your 13 years hard work. Losing her job doesn’t help with this and for some unknown reason, Erin is writing open letters to her older brother Rudy.
Erin and Rudy are clearly very different – Rudy comes across through Erin’s letters as a larrikin, a life of the party sort, the type of person that everyone loves to have around, who pulls pranks and occasionally gets in trouble – maybe pushes the envelope a bit. He’s also a source of conflict in the house, due to his mother’s enabling and protecting of him when he does things like drop out of TAFE (technical college) and the like, versus their father’s frustration with him. For some reason, Rudy isn’t around anymore and Erin’s writing to him is a form of therapy as some sort of anniversary approaches. There’s a couple of possibilities for Rudy’s absence from Erin’s life and it’s not until well into the book that the reason for Rudy not being there for Erin to talk to is revealed.
Everything in this book is told from Erin’s point of view in one of her letters to Rudy: her life at school, her at times tenuous friendship with her best friend, the fracturing of her family, her struggles with the world around her and her anger at Rudy for not being there anymore to make things better. It’s very powerful to read a lot of Erin’s thoughts and things that happen to her from her own point of view, particularly things where she doesn’t understand what she could’ve done differently to achieve a different outcome or understand the outcome itself.
Throughout the book, Erin finds strength to stand up for herself in certain circumstances, such as against her boyfriend Mitch, who treats her with condescension verging on gaslighting, as well as choosing options that make her comfortable rather than her doing things because her friend wants to. She develops a voice, perhaps through writing the letters and getting some clarity whilst writing them. We also learn what happened to Rudy and how/why he isn’t around anymore and the impact that has had on everyone in and around Erin’s circle and especially, how that has impacted on Erin herself and how the letters are helping her process all of her feelings.
This is a quick read but very powerful. It’s an own voices story, with the author also being autistic and I think that it really shows in Erin’s character, that this comes from a place of deep understanding. There’s such an openness in the letters, perhaps because she’s writing to someone that she really cares about and through those letters, you get a good idea of the sibling relationship Erin and Rudy shared, despite being quite different. The things they knew about and confided in each other, the small ways in which Rudy tried to help Erin during difficult times, when things had become overwhelming for her. It all contributes to make the story of what happened, all the more deeply effective.
Despite the often dark tones, I felt like the ending of this book had a hopeful, uplifting sort of feel as well. Erin really did grow as a character throughout the course of the book and had learned in some ways, to express herself and put herself first in terms of what she wanted to do for herself and there were some positive signs for her family as well.
Would definitely recommend.
I’d had it on my radar for a while, mostly for the cover I think. Who doesn’t love a cinnamon donut? I wasn’t sure why the cover was cinnamon donuts, but it turns out that when our main character Erin has a bad day, her best friend brings her hot cinnamon donuts from a donut chain here in Australia called Donut King (who do absolutely excellent hot cinnamon donuts). This was something I could definitely get behind. I know donuts would definitely make a bad day better for me.
Erin is autistic and at the moment, she is going through a time. She’s in her final year of school, navigating everything that brings and means especially with her diagnosis, which means that situations that are not stressful for others, or that they enjoy, are not something that Erin enjoys. She only really has one proper friend, the rest of the group are just friends with her best friend and seem to regard Erin as an inevitability and generally treat her with indifference ranging to hostility. Erin doesn’t enjoy parties or large social gatherings but she’s saving for schoolies anyway, because it’s sold as this defining experience – the reward of all your 13 years hard work. Losing her job doesn’t help with this and for some unknown reason, Erin is writing open letters to her older brother Rudy.
Erin and Rudy are clearly very different – Rudy comes across through Erin’s letters as a larrikin, a life of the party sort, the type of person that everyone loves to have around, who pulls pranks and occasionally gets in trouble – maybe pushes the envelope a bit. He’s also a source of conflict in the house, due to his mother’s enabling and protecting of him when he does things like drop out of TAFE (technical college) and the like, versus their father’s frustration with him. For some reason, Rudy isn’t around anymore and Erin’s writing to him is a form of therapy as some sort of anniversary approaches. There’s a couple of possibilities for Rudy’s absence from Erin’s life and it’s not until well into the book that the reason for Rudy not being there for Erin to talk to is revealed.
Everything in this book is told from Erin’s point of view in one of her letters to Rudy: her life at school, her at times tenuous friendship with her best friend, the fracturing of her family, her struggles with the world around her and her anger at Rudy for not being there anymore to make things better. It’s very powerful to read a lot of Erin’s thoughts and things that happen to her from her own point of view, particularly things where she doesn’t understand what she could’ve done differently to achieve a different outcome or understand the outcome itself.
Throughout the book, Erin finds strength to stand up for herself in certain circumstances, such as against her boyfriend Mitch, who treats her with condescension verging on gaslighting, as well as choosing options that make her comfortable rather than her doing things because her friend wants to. She develops a voice, perhaps through writing the letters and getting some clarity whilst writing them. We also learn what happened to Rudy and how/why he isn’t around anymore and the impact that has had on everyone in and around Erin’s circle and especially, how that has impacted on Erin herself and how the letters are helping her process all of her feelings.
This is a quick read but very powerful. It’s an own voices story, with the author also being autistic and I think that it really shows in Erin’s character, that this comes from a place of deep understanding. There’s such an openness in the letters, perhaps because she’s writing to someone that she really cares about and through those letters, you get a good idea of the sibling relationship Erin and Rudy shared, despite being quite different. The things they knew about and confided in each other, the small ways in which Rudy tried to help Erin during difficult times, when things had become overwhelming for her. It all contributes to make the story of what happened, all the more deeply effective.
Despite the often dark tones, I felt like the ending of this book had a hopeful, uplifting sort of feel as well. Erin really did grow as a character throughout the course of the book and had learned in some ways, to express herself and put herself first in terms of what she wanted to do for herself and there were some positive signs for her family as well.
Would definitely recommend.
July 26, 2020
This book just feels so so important, I cried and I laughed so much. this was a heart-warming and impactful coming-of-age story with a strong focus on family, grief, and identity. It is an #ownvoices novel about Erin, a 17-year-old with ASD. I haven't read as many books as I would like with MC's on the autism spectrum, but from what I have read, this book felt the most real. There was nothing robotic or insincere about Erin (sorry, I'm looking at you The Rosie Project (even if that's not a confirmed ASD character)). This also felt very impactful to me, as I have a younger sister with ASD. Although no two people on the spectrum are alike, it warmed my heart reading about someone who she might be able to relate to, and when she's old enough to read this book she might feel seen.
April 24, 2020
This was one of my most anticipated books of the year, and I have to say that it was even better than I'd hoped!
It's an AMAZING coming of age story that I think everyone should read. The protagonist Erin has been diagnosed with autism. I love the openness and reality of living with the condition that we get to experience in letters she has written to her brother.
I found myself relating to this story and her thought process in more ways than one.
It's a hilarious, relatable and sometimes devastating novel that I'm so glad to have read.
Thank you so much to Text Publishing for sending me a copy of this book to review.
It's an AMAZING coming of age story that I think everyone should read. The protagonist Erin has been diagnosed with autism. I love the openness and reality of living with the condition that we get to experience in letters she has written to her brother.
I found myself relating to this story and her thought process in more ways than one.
It's a hilarious, relatable and sometimes devastating novel that I'm so glad to have read.
Thank you so much to Text Publishing for sending me a copy of this book to review.
July 12, 2020
Erin is in her last year of high school, and dealing with so many big things as people do in that year, and then some. Her brother is not there, and she is navigating the world through her internal processing and understanding as someone on the autism spectrum.
Written as letters to Rudy, her brother, Erin reviews and thinks through so many of the difficult things she is experiencing - her conversations with teachers and other kids at school, the tension between her parents, her part time job, her boyfriend, the buzz about things like the formal and Schoolies coming up that she doesn't really care about, plus her own internal voice and feelings, and challenges in letting these feelings be felt.
I was a bit distracted by where or what's happened to Rudy, reading through. My mind was jumping to all sorts of possibilities! So of course, that led to compelling reading.
In so many fiction books I have read about autism, I have always wondered about the actual representation, but this time knowing this was an #OwnVoices (in that Kay received her ASD diagnosis when this book was still a draft) writer, the insight into autistic thought processes, ruminating and navigating the learned social rules was so powerful.
Written as letters to Rudy, her brother, Erin reviews and thinks through so many of the difficult things she is experiencing - her conversations with teachers and other kids at school, the tension between her parents, her part time job, her boyfriend, the buzz about things like the formal and Schoolies coming up that she doesn't really care about, plus her own internal voice and feelings, and challenges in letting these feelings be felt.
I was a bit distracted by where or what's happened to Rudy, reading through. My mind was jumping to all sorts of possibilities! So of course, that led to compelling reading.
In so many fiction books I have read about autism, I have always wondered about the actual representation, but this time knowing this was an #OwnVoices (in that Kay received her ASD diagnosis when this book was still a draft) writer, the insight into autistic thought processes, ruminating and navigating the learned social rules was so powerful.
February 7, 2021
This book was incredibly cute, and fluffy and relatable. Basically, I really enjoyed this book. It was so easy to root for Erin and to want her to enjoy and win at life. I also loved Aggie.
The plot was pretty basic, and it was definitely one of those meandering coming of age type stories. Those aren't usually my thing, but Erin was so likeable and I was so invested in her that I was completely sucked into the story.
It was an Ownvoices story about autism and while I can't speak directly on how "good" that aspect of the story was, I've seen so many autistic book bloggers talking about how much this story meant to them and the whole book felt like it was written with a lot of passion and love. It definitely was not a cookie cutter "inspirational" and "gifted" savant story.
And it was Australian. Bonus points.
Overall, I really enjoyed it and it goes on the list of favourite YA contemporaries.
The plot was pretty basic, and it was definitely one of those meandering coming of age type stories. Those aren't usually my thing, but Erin was so likeable and I was so invested in her that I was completely sucked into the story.
It was an Ownvoices story about autism and while I can't speak directly on how "good" that aspect of the story was, I've seen so many autistic book bloggers talking about how much this story meant to them and the whole book felt like it was written with a lot of passion and love. It definitely was not a cookie cutter "inspirational" and "gifted" savant story.
And it was Australian. Bonus points.
Overall, I really enjoyed it and it goes on the list of favourite YA contemporaries.
April 27, 2020
Talking about this on the radio this week. It's a powerful delivery of a great message. With all the feels.
July 26, 2020
more books with autistic characters written by autistic authors please and thank you :)
Read
January 24, 2021I’m elated that I have finally had the chance to read ‘Please Don’t Hug Me.’ When I first heard the title, I knew it would be something that resonates – one of my last pieces of writing in tertiary education had a similar title and there’s always something about titles.
“I didn’t have control over my words or my face or my body. That’s what outbursts do; they take over my brain and make me say the truth” ( (14-15).
Kerr’s novel is a gorgeous epistolary piece where Erin is sending letters to her absent brother Rudy. We follow Erin’s final year of school as she explores dating, working and the upcoming schoolies adventure whilst also trying to ease the impact of her autism on each of these things.
Kerr’s letter writing walks in circles and linked tangents that give Erin an incredibly relatable voice. The way that each letter reads matches how I think, and for a few moments I forgot that I was reading Erin’s story because it felt like my own head.
“I’m sure you would have had some good things to say. You’ve always worn the things that make you different like a badge of honour, like they’re the things that have shaped you” (146).
This was a pure first read and made me feel at home in myself. ‘Please Don’t Hug Me’ is a gentle reminder to do the things that make you comfortable and safe. Remember to take your time, and listen to yourself.
“I didn’t have control over my words or my face or my body. That’s what outbursts do; they take over my brain and make me say the truth” ( (14-15).
Kerr’s novel is a gorgeous epistolary piece where Erin is sending letters to her absent brother Rudy. We follow Erin’s final year of school as she explores dating, working and the upcoming schoolies adventure whilst also trying to ease the impact of her autism on each of these things.
Kerr’s letter writing walks in circles and linked tangents that give Erin an incredibly relatable voice. The way that each letter reads matches how I think, and for a few moments I forgot that I was reading Erin’s story because it felt like my own head.
“I’m sure you would have had some good things to say. You’ve always worn the things that make you different like a badge of honour, like they’re the things that have shaped you” (146).
This was a pure first read and made me feel at home in myself. ‘Please Don’t Hug Me’ is a gentle reminder to do the things that make you comfortable and safe. Remember to take your time, and listen to yourself.
May 3, 2020
I love good representations of neurodiversity and reading about people who experience and process the world in different ways. I also love book merch and will always be sad I didn’t get a Normal People T-shirt. I did feel the form limited this book a little and I would have loved for a section to break out of the epistolary form. But it provided unique and immediate insights into what it feels like to be an autistic teenager in a neurotypical world and that is incredibly important and much needed.
March 31, 2024
Good, well written book, not for me though. Also it was a bit murky on what actually happened to Rudy at the bginning, I thought he was like, in prison or hospital. Turns out he was killed in a boat accident. Anywaysssss, Happy Easter y'all.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 10, 2024
Representation: First Australian character and another character with autism
Trigger warnings: Blood, grief and loss depiction, ableism, bullying, racism, sexist slur, death of a boyfriend and other relatives in the past, drug abuse
Score: Seven points out of ten.
Find this review on The StoryGraph.
One year ago, I read a book where the protagonist has autism, Peta Lyre's Rating Normal. Unfortunately, that underwhelmed me, so one year later, I tried another novel with a neurodivergent character, Please Don't Hug Me. When I picked that up, it looked promising, and when I was done, it was a pleasant read.
It starts with the first character I see, Erin, whose last name remains undisclosed, recording her uneventful life thus far in letters. Did I mention Please Don't Hug Me is an epistolary novel? It also has engaging pacing, even with a slow beginning. I wonder what the recipient would say after receiving Erin's letters. Life has been on a downward spiral for Erin after she was fired and then failed her driving test. I understand that life can be so much harder for people who have autism, like Erin, than neurotypical people, but at least she can move forward from that and not live in the past, which I liked. Even Schoolies, an end-of-year event, is a struggle for Erin. I'm surprised there are no conversations about masking or someone acting neurotypical when they're not, only to fit in with society, which worsens their mental health. At least Erin has a support system consisting of one person: her mother.
Toward the latter half of Please Don't Hug Me, Erin questions where her boyfriend is, but unfortunately, she discovers that he died, much to her dismay. The conclusion is bittersweet, as it has some touching and heartwarming moments, but not free from melancholy undertones. To summarise, Please Don't Hug Me is an epistolary novel about a person with autism, but the heavy themes are not for everyone, and it's a more saddening read than I expected.
Trigger warnings: Blood, grief and loss depiction, ableism, bullying, racism, sexist slur, death of a boyfriend and other relatives in the past, drug abuse
Score: Seven points out of ten.
Find this review on The StoryGraph.
One year ago, I read a book where the protagonist has autism, Peta Lyre's Rating Normal. Unfortunately, that underwhelmed me, so one year later, I tried another novel with a neurodivergent character, Please Don't Hug Me. When I picked that up, it looked promising, and when I was done, it was a pleasant read.
It starts with the first character I see, Erin, whose last name remains undisclosed, recording her uneventful life thus far in letters. Did I mention Please Don't Hug Me is an epistolary novel? It also has engaging pacing, even with a slow beginning. I wonder what the recipient would say after receiving Erin's letters. Life has been on a downward spiral for Erin after she was fired and then failed her driving test. I understand that life can be so much harder for people who have autism, like Erin, than neurotypical people, but at least she can move forward from that and not live in the past, which I liked. Even Schoolies, an end-of-year event, is a struggle for Erin. I'm surprised there are no conversations about masking or someone acting neurotypical when they're not, only to fit in with society, which worsens their mental health. At least Erin has a support system consisting of one person: her mother.
Toward the latter half of Please Don't Hug Me, Erin questions where her boyfriend is, but unfortunately, she discovers that he died, much to her dismay. The conclusion is bittersweet, as it has some touching and heartwarming moments, but not free from melancholy undertones. To summarise, Please Don't Hug Me is an epistolary novel about a person with autism, but the heavy themes are not for everyone, and it's a more saddening read than I expected.
February 28, 2021
"People are rewarded for being confident and loud and funny and smart and independent and persistent, but not really that much for being good."
This book gets points for the #OwnVoices autism rep but honestly? I've read better.
Please Don't Hug Me is very much Autism 101. It explains a few symptoms and busts a few myths but Erin was still characterised by her autism and not much else. Kerr hints at hobbies and interests Erin has had in the past but doesn't make any effort to show us what she's into now and that lack of detail made it really hard to identify with her.
I also found the epistolary form incredibly boring. Kerr doesn't bother explaining why Erin is writing these letters to her brother Rudy until two-thirds of the way through the novel and by then any curiosity I had about the situation had been drowned out by my wishes for something interesting to happen. If Erin had had a more unique, developed voice this might have worked better but this book relies so heavily on telling rather than showing that it all just drones on and on.
The thing I found most frustrating about this novel, I think, was how much ableism Erin has to deal with. From her coworkers at her first job, from her so-called best friend, from her truly despicable boyfriend (who I didn't realise was actually her boyfriend until she was breaking up with him). I know that these things happen in life, I've experienced them, but it wasn't really something I wanted to read about in my spare time.
If you're still learning about autism or want to support #ActuallyAutistic authors, definitely give Please Don't Hug Me a try but remember that there is more to disabled literature than stories about our suffering.
November 5, 2024
love anything that kay kerr writes! there are so little coming of ages about autistic women so this was amazing. an absolutely heartbreaking book however wasn’t a big fan of the letter formant hence 4.5 and not 5 stars. i really need all her books in paperback omg!
July 15, 2020
The Unofficial Slogan of 2020, Please Don’t Hug Me by Kay Kerr is a lovely story about a young Australian girl on the brink of finishing high school and heading out into the big wide world. On top of navigating her way through final exams and being able to think about nothing but Schoolies, Erin is on the autism spectrum and experiences the world differently. Aaaaand just when we thought that Erin’s life couldn’t get more complicated, the story is told as letters that she is writing to her older brother Rudy, who left home a year ago and no one has heard from since. Side note for international readers: Schoolies is a holiday that secondary school leavers go on after they’ve finished exams. The most popular destination being Queensland’s Gold Coast, close to where this book is set, but anywhere that you can go with friends and spend days drinking and partying will suffice!
I give this book 3.5 stars (4 stars on GoodReads because of no half-star function) and here’s a summary of my favourite parts:
There are a couple of characters who are from minority groups. Erin is on the autism spectrum, and her friend Aggie is a Quandamooka woman. Both characters represent two groups who are under represented in literary works, as well as TV, movies, magazines… basically any media you can think of. It was really refreshing to have these two characters in the novel and experience things through their eyes. There were struggles that were discussed that I wouldn’t have even thought were problematic courtesy of my white privilege. An eye-opener for younger readers.
The format of the novel made it a physically easy read. The story is told through the letters that Erin writes to her brother Rudy. So instead of it being a traditional chapter, each ‘chapter’ (for lack of better word) starts with ‘Dear Rudy’, has a natural narrative flow to it, and then finishes with ‘Love, Erin’. These letters are short and make it easy to get through letters/chapters that aren’t overwhelmingly long. For this reason, it might also be appealing for those who maybe don’t enjoy reading too much or get overwhelmed by long, heavy chapters.
There are some lovely moments where everyone learns something about themselves. Throughout this book, there were so many times that I would come across a sentence that completely and utterly resonated with me and I felt it was written just for me to discover and be touched by. My favourite part was when Erin talks about wearing clothing like armour and that fashion isn’t something that is frivolous and vain. When I read this, I just felt a little bubble of joy in my heart, because it helped me understand something about myself that I was self-conscious about; wearing pretty clothing is my armour! I wear it with pride, and dressing a certain way makes me happy! There are so many other parts of the story that (I hope for others) carry a similar sentiment, and as a reader it’s these little moments which make reading worth it!
It shows a different way of living with grief. Don’t worry, I’m not giving away any spoilers, but Erin and her family are grieving after the sudden change that has happened to their family after Rudy leaves and doesn’t make contact. Their relationships are all altered, no one quite knows how to discuss it with each other, everyone has their own way of coping, and there is strain on her parents’ marriage. These are all very real things that happen when individuals and families are grieving, and in this story, it sort of happens not in the traditional “stages of grief” pattern (despair, bargaining, anger etc.).
As much as I enjoyed this book, there’s a couple of other feelings that I had about this story:
I felt that the timeline was too rushed. Whilst I know that learning important life lessons is totally subjective and can’t really be measured, I felt that it all happened a little too quickly for Erin. Erin writes the first letter to her brother in August, and the last letter she sends to him is in November (there is a very brief sort if follow up letter sent in January, which felt more like the conclusion of the story, sort of like an epilogue). In those short 3-4 months, she copes with a horrible experience in the workplace, find a new job and settles into that very easily, has a lot of different thought and plans for what she wants to do after high school (both with Schoolies and continuing her studies), the relationship with her best friend since childhood changes dramatically, she gets another best friend, and she’s still learning to live without her older brother living at home and all of the changing family dynamics that come with that. I felt that it was a lot to pack into four months for a coming-of-age story. I feel like it would’ve been a bit more relatable and believable if it were spread out a bit more over maybe a longer time frame.
Things appear to have worked out a bit too well for Erin. Honestly… it was too cliched and fairy-tale. I felt like it should’ve had a bit more drama and more ups and downs than it did. Erin appeared to have learned her lessons too quickly for any teenager going through the amount of turmoil and big life events. For that reason, I felt it was a bit boring and too juvenile for a coming-of-age story to really have any impact and teach the reader a truly valuable lesson that resonates with them after they finish.
Overall, a pleasant weekend read. Whilst overall it seemed a bit rushed and a bit too fairy-tale-ish for my liking, there were a couple of great female characters from minority groups as well as some lovely moments for the reader where you find that one sentence that perfectly describes how you feel. Best enjoyed with some fresh cinnamon donuts from Donut King!
I give this book 3.5 stars (4 stars on GoodReads because of no half-star function) and here’s a summary of my favourite parts:
There are a couple of characters who are from minority groups. Erin is on the autism spectrum, and her friend Aggie is a Quandamooka woman. Both characters represent two groups who are under represented in literary works, as well as TV, movies, magazines… basically any media you can think of. It was really refreshing to have these two characters in the novel and experience things through their eyes. There were struggles that were discussed that I wouldn’t have even thought were problematic courtesy of my white privilege. An eye-opener for younger readers.
The format of the novel made it a physically easy read. The story is told through the letters that Erin writes to her brother Rudy. So instead of it being a traditional chapter, each ‘chapter’ (for lack of better word) starts with ‘Dear Rudy’, has a natural narrative flow to it, and then finishes with ‘Love, Erin’. These letters are short and make it easy to get through letters/chapters that aren’t overwhelmingly long. For this reason, it might also be appealing for those who maybe don’t enjoy reading too much or get overwhelmed by long, heavy chapters.
There are some lovely moments where everyone learns something about themselves. Throughout this book, there were so many times that I would come across a sentence that completely and utterly resonated with me and I felt it was written just for me to discover and be touched by. My favourite part was when Erin talks about wearing clothing like armour and that fashion isn’t something that is frivolous and vain. When I read this, I just felt a little bubble of joy in my heart, because it helped me understand something about myself that I was self-conscious about; wearing pretty clothing is my armour! I wear it with pride, and dressing a certain way makes me happy! There are so many other parts of the story that (I hope for others) carry a similar sentiment, and as a reader it’s these little moments which make reading worth it!
It shows a different way of living with grief. Don’t worry, I’m not giving away any spoilers, but Erin and her family are grieving after the sudden change that has happened to their family after Rudy leaves and doesn’t make contact. Their relationships are all altered, no one quite knows how to discuss it with each other, everyone has their own way of coping, and there is strain on her parents’ marriage. These are all very real things that happen when individuals and families are grieving, and in this story, it sort of happens not in the traditional “stages of grief” pattern (despair, bargaining, anger etc.).
As much as I enjoyed this book, there’s a couple of other feelings that I had about this story:
I felt that the timeline was too rushed. Whilst I know that learning important life lessons is totally subjective and can’t really be measured, I felt that it all happened a little too quickly for Erin. Erin writes the first letter to her brother in August, and the last letter she sends to him is in November (there is a very brief sort if follow up letter sent in January, which felt more like the conclusion of the story, sort of like an epilogue). In those short 3-4 months, she copes with a horrible experience in the workplace, find a new job and settles into that very easily, has a lot of different thought and plans for what she wants to do after high school (both with Schoolies and continuing her studies), the relationship with her best friend since childhood changes dramatically, she gets another best friend, and she’s still learning to live without her older brother living at home and all of the changing family dynamics that come with that. I felt that it was a lot to pack into four months for a coming-of-age story. I feel like it would’ve been a bit more relatable and believable if it were spread out a bit more over maybe a longer time frame.
Things appear to have worked out a bit too well for Erin. Honestly… it was too cliched and fairy-tale. I felt like it should’ve had a bit more drama and more ups and downs than it did. Erin appeared to have learned her lessons too quickly for any teenager going through the amount of turmoil and big life events. For that reason, I felt it was a bit boring and too juvenile for a coming-of-age story to really have any impact and teach the reader a truly valuable lesson that resonates with them after they finish.
Overall, a pleasant weekend read. Whilst overall it seemed a bit rushed and a bit too fairy-tale-ish for my liking, there were a couple of great female characters from minority groups as well as some lovely moments for the reader where you find that one sentence that perfectly describes how you feel. Best enjoyed with some fresh cinnamon donuts from Donut King!
October 10, 2020
This is a wonderful #LoveOzYA own voices story, which I picked up belatedly for #DisabilityReads hosted by Carly Findlay (@carlyfindlay) and Tash (@jouljet) over on Instagram.
It is a YA novel about stumbling into adulthood and facing that terrifying precipice of finishing high school, staring down the rest of your life and all the choices that that means. It's a meditation on grief and navigating social conventions and expectations. It's about all of those things through the eyes of 17 year old Erin, an autistic girl who owns that label but questions how others weaponise it.
I'm not always a fan of epistolary novels, but in the case of this novel Erin's letters to her absent brother were a great vehicle for insight into her mind: what she calls her 'brain wiring', and her brother calls her 'limited edition'.
I liked the way that Kerr threw in references to Erin's worries about climate change, systemic racism and other global issues that no doubt plague the minds of present day teens. It made me feel for today's generations of teens, being more plugged in and switched on then ever before. When I was a teen—eons ago—I was self-absorbed and didn't give much thought to the world outside of how it affected me personally. My teenage existential dread was a tad more uninformed, ha!
I was left wanting more from some of the supporting cast, and while this wrapped up nicely I would 100% read a sequel where Erin heads to Uni [more Aggie please], and/or a romance storyline with Skyscraper Simon [don't tell me there wasn't some hidden chemistry there]!
It is a YA novel about stumbling into adulthood and facing that terrifying precipice of finishing high school, staring down the rest of your life and all the choices that that means. It's a meditation on grief and navigating social conventions and expectations. It's about all of those things through the eyes of 17 year old Erin, an autistic girl who owns that label but questions how others weaponise it.
I'm not always a fan of epistolary novels, but in the case of this novel Erin's letters to her absent brother were a great vehicle for insight into her mind: what she calls her 'brain wiring', and her brother calls her 'limited edition'.
I liked the way that Kerr threw in references to Erin's worries about climate change, systemic racism and other global issues that no doubt plague the minds of present day teens. It made me feel for today's generations of teens, being more plugged in and switched on then ever before. When I was a teen—eons ago—I was self-absorbed and didn't give much thought to the world outside of how it affected me personally. My teenage existential dread was a tad more uninformed, ha!
I was left wanting more from some of the supporting cast, and while this wrapped up nicely I would 100% read a sequel where Erin heads to Uni [more Aggie please], and/or a romance storyline with Skyscraper Simon [don't tell me there wasn't some hidden chemistry there]!
July 10, 2020
As a novel, this wasn’t necessarily for me - I didn’t really engage with the epistolary style (the whole story is told through letters to Erin’s older brother, Rudy) or care about any of the characters except Erin (and Aggie, who seemed cool). Having also grown up in Queensland, I did love and relate to some of the unique things in this book - the ridiculousness of the QCS test, the ultra-obsession with Schoolies, the references to how touchy people get during State of Origin. But otherwise, this wasn’t a bad book, it just wasn’t to my particular taste.
But it still deserves a high rating because the autism rep is fantastic - a real testament to the importance of ownvoices authors in disability as elsewhere. Erin’s autism is just another part of her - she certainly doesn’t spend all her time dwelling on it - but it very clearly colours her perceptions of people and events. Sometimes I feel like fiction about neurodiverse people feels the need to remind you of how “unique” the characters are with every sentence to the point that it seem like a caricature of what the author thinks having a disability might be like, but this was very deftly balanced - Erin is so much more than her autism, but her autism is an inescapable part of her existence. (I wish we’d seen more of how her parents coped because I couldn’t tell if they were genuinely struggling with helping her or just awful at times, but that’s a minor point).
But it still deserves a high rating because the autism rep is fantastic - a real testament to the importance of ownvoices authors in disability as elsewhere. Erin’s autism is just another part of her - she certainly doesn’t spend all her time dwelling on it - but it very clearly colours her perceptions of people and events. Sometimes I feel like fiction about neurodiverse people feels the need to remind you of how “unique” the characters are with every sentence to the point that it seem like a caricature of what the author thinks having a disability might be like, but this was very deftly balanced - Erin is so much more than her autism, but her autism is an inescapable part of her existence. (I wish we’d seen more of how her parents coped because I couldn’t tell if they were genuinely struggling with helping her or just awful at times, but that’s a minor point).
June 4, 2020
I’m guilty of purchasing this book because of its cover and it was a sweet surprise, pun Intended.
Each chapter is a letter Erin writes to her brother Rudy. She talks about her days her struggles and missing him. Erin struggles with social interactions, being over stimulated and not reading people as she has autism.
I am fascinated with the way her autism causes her to talk things she’s asked to do so literal. Erin went for her licence and the instructor asked her to go through the round about, poor Erin took it literally and mounted the roundabout believing she was doing what she was told to do.
At first I thought Rudy has run away, then I thought maybe he was in jail. I just couldn’t pin point why he wasn’t responding to her. Then I figured out was dead.
For Erin the emotional journey of loss was far different to most. She felt and saw things so differently. In the end she started having these small breakthroughs and less breakdowns and started to experience things outside of her conform zone knowing she would share every moment with Rudy.
The thing I hate more about this brain of mine is how alone it makes me feel. I felt this on a whole other level. This book was magical and everyone will get something out of it. Thanks you for writing and sharing this masterpiece.
Each chapter is a letter Erin writes to her brother Rudy. She talks about her days her struggles and missing him. Erin struggles with social interactions, being over stimulated and not reading people as she has autism.
I am fascinated with the way her autism causes her to talk things she’s asked to do so literal. Erin went for her licence and the instructor asked her to go through the round about, poor Erin took it literally and mounted the roundabout believing she was doing what she was told to do.
At first I thought Rudy has run away, then I thought maybe he was in jail. I just couldn’t pin point why he wasn’t responding to her. Then I figured out was dead.
For Erin the emotional journey of loss was far different to most. She felt and saw things so differently. In the end she started having these small breakthroughs and less breakdowns and started to experience things outside of her conform zone knowing she would share every moment with Rudy.
The thing I hate more about this brain of mine is how alone it makes me feel. I felt this on a whole other level. This book was magical and everyone will get something out of it. Thanks you for writing and sharing this masterpiece.
April 25, 2021
What beautiful and touching story!
I am always down for an epistolary story. They tend to be so honest. I love really being inside the character's mind, and the format was perfect for the story that was told here.
Erin was dealing with a lot of big changes in her world. She had to adjust to life without her brother, the effect his absence was having on her family, as well as her school days coming to an end and decisions about her future. Through these letters to her brother, Erin uncovered some truths about herself. She explored who she was and what she wanted, and she even took some steps to make these things happen.
I loved the idea of resisting trying to fit into the molds others have shaped for you and being your most authentic self. Erin had spent so many years hiding pieces of herself and adapting to suit others' needs. Now, she was free to be her own person, and that was just what she was going to do.
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I am always down for an epistolary story. They tend to be so honest. I love really being inside the character's mind, and the format was perfect for the story that was told here.
Erin was dealing with a lot of big changes in her world. She had to adjust to life without her brother, the effect his absence was having on her family, as well as her school days coming to an end and decisions about her future. Through these letters to her brother, Erin uncovered some truths about herself. She explored who she was and what she wanted, and she even took some steps to make these things happen.
I loved the idea of resisting trying to fit into the molds others have shaped for you and being your most authentic self. Erin had spent so many years hiding pieces of herself and adapting to suit others' needs. Now, she was free to be her own person, and that was just what she was going to do.
BLOG | INSTAGRAM |TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | FRIEND ME ON GOODREADS
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