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A Family Affair
Family is complicated … Meet the Mafus, a close-knit, traditional family with three daughters. As leaders of their church, The Kingdom of God, Pastor Abraham and his wife Phumla are guiding the community of Bulawayo in faith, while trying to keep the different branches of their family intact. Independent and feisty Xoliswa returns home, after a hiatus abroad, hoping for a fresh start and a chance to steer the family business; rebellious Yandisa has met the love of her life and is finally getting her act together; while dutiful newlywed Zandile is slowly becoming disillusioned with her happily ever after. The Mafus always present a united front, but as their personal lives unravel, devastating secrets are revealed that threaten to tear the family apart. For how long will they be able to hide behind the façade of a picture-perfect family?
468 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2020
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675 people want to read
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October 19, 2020
A Family Affair is a big dramatic novel centering a family, the Mafus, and follows the lives of their three daughters, Xoliswa, Yandisa and Zandile. With a narrated time of nearly a decade, Sue Nyathi gives us more than a slice of life of a family, perfect at first glance, but faulty on closer inspection like any other family.
The story starts with an amazing setting, the youngest who has misgivings, Zandile's big fat white wedding flanked and supported by both her sisters on her way to church to marry the love of her life, Ndaba. Soon the tone is set through what Zandile's father's sisters say, BoRakgadi, about the sisters as the bridal party walks down the aisle. Both aunties body-shame Yandisa and reduce Xoliswa's status, an accomplished woman, because she is unmarried and lament their brother's agreeing to have Zandile marry before her older. Zandile has two older sisters, but they both do not expect much from Yandisa because we are the total sum of our experiences right, particularly the negative ones. Somehow society erases you once something bad happens to you even through no fault of yours.
The matriarch and the patriarch of the family, Phumla and Abraham Mafu, have a tight grip on the family using the Bible as both a staff and a rod and are on a mission to create and maintain a picture consummate to their status as founders and drivers of a megachurch. Meanwhile a cauldron is cooking. Xoliswa finds herself in a position totally different from her vision board, Yandisa ends up with a ring which costs her more than she wants to pay to keep, but will not give up and Zandile yearns for more than being a wife and mother. A question is raised by one of her Rakgadis: "Can you have both a family and a career?". Nobody asks men that. That is never offered as a choice to men. They can have both, but for women...a sacrifice has to be made.
Pretty soon things unravel. Devastating secrets threaten to spill out and as with all secrets, they cannot be hidden away forever. The daughters of the family move on to carve lives separate from their parents and we experience their different journeys, some with devastating consequences, with them.
As with all families, our parents had lives before we came along. Had dreams and hopes and had made decisions which devastated their familial relationships and this becomes glaring in the third quarter of the book when the evidence of the beginning of Abraham and Phumla's story unveils itself and Abraham's guilt drives him to an atonement of disastrous consequences. Many of us will find this part of the story so relatable and I chuckled from an encounter my siblings and I had a few years ago and how that situation turned out to be more hilarious than devastating.
As you can imagine, a story this big and this long will cover a myriad of themes. From grooming teenagers and sexually assaulting them, unplanned pregnancies and the rights of a teenage girl pertaining to an unwanted pregnancy. That theme still haunts me as a parent and as a daughter.
The romanticizing of the culture of endurance and silence as a symbol and trope of a "Strong black wife" is carried throughout the narration. From the makoti duties which border on the abusive, to the burden placed on the wife as the sole builder and carrier of the family whose main job is to make the husband happy at all costs. The in-laws expectations and role in the establishment of new families is foregrounded and we experience not only the perpetuation of patriarchal norms and customs whose sole purpose is to oppress, shame and suppress the new makoti, we also see how Zandile's identity and "womanhood" is reduced because of her birthing, childcare and housekeeping choices.
A Family Affair is not only a melodrama, it contributes to the greater discourse on Gender Based Violence, the value and worth of women in the African context, the law of inheritance in the African context, our agencies as black women which are always overshadowed by the demands of the family and how married women often defer their dreams to assist their husbands build careers and still have their contribution minimized.
Sue Nyathi interrogates important women-centric issues against the background of a collapsing Zimbabwean economy. The widening inequality gap resulting in forced migrations and the burden young families carry in supporting elderly parents. We also experience a day in the life of an affluent Zimbabwean. Such big lives mirroring the affluent American reality shows. The shopping across the border. The chauffeur-driven excursions.
A Family Affair is an important family-oriented story and reminds us that in the midst of uncertain political conditions, personal loss, gruesome experiences, we still carry on loving and supporting our parents, siblings and extended families and hope that our children experience better than we did.
This story elicited laughter because we've been hypocritical, as women, and tears because though we cry foul, change is within our reach. Once we stop accepting the perils of patriarchy and start chipping away at their systematic foundations, the world will be a better place for all genders. It is up to the women to fight this because the men have no incentive to see the dismantling of a system which solely benefits them end.
The story starts with an amazing setting, the youngest who has misgivings, Zandile's big fat white wedding flanked and supported by both her sisters on her way to church to marry the love of her life, Ndaba. Soon the tone is set through what Zandile's father's sisters say, BoRakgadi, about the sisters as the bridal party walks down the aisle. Both aunties body-shame Yandisa and reduce Xoliswa's status, an accomplished woman, because she is unmarried and lament their brother's agreeing to have Zandile marry before her older. Zandile has two older sisters, but they both do not expect much from Yandisa because we are the total sum of our experiences right, particularly the negative ones. Somehow society erases you once something bad happens to you even through no fault of yours.
The matriarch and the patriarch of the family, Phumla and Abraham Mafu, have a tight grip on the family using the Bible as both a staff and a rod and are on a mission to create and maintain a picture consummate to their status as founders and drivers of a megachurch. Meanwhile a cauldron is cooking. Xoliswa finds herself in a position totally different from her vision board, Yandisa ends up with a ring which costs her more than she wants to pay to keep, but will not give up and Zandile yearns for more than being a wife and mother. A question is raised by one of her Rakgadis: "Can you have both a family and a career?". Nobody asks men that. That is never offered as a choice to men. They can have both, but for women...a sacrifice has to be made.
Pretty soon things unravel. Devastating secrets threaten to spill out and as with all secrets, they cannot be hidden away forever. The daughters of the family move on to carve lives separate from their parents and we experience their different journeys, some with devastating consequences, with them.
As with all families, our parents had lives before we came along. Had dreams and hopes and had made decisions which devastated their familial relationships and this becomes glaring in the third quarter of the book when the evidence of the beginning of Abraham and Phumla's story unveils itself and Abraham's guilt drives him to an atonement of disastrous consequences. Many of us will find this part of the story so relatable and I chuckled from an encounter my siblings and I had a few years ago and how that situation turned out to be more hilarious than devastating.
As you can imagine, a story this big and this long will cover a myriad of themes. From grooming teenagers and sexually assaulting them, unplanned pregnancies and the rights of a teenage girl pertaining to an unwanted pregnancy. That theme still haunts me as a parent and as a daughter.
The romanticizing of the culture of endurance and silence as a symbol and trope of a "Strong black wife" is carried throughout the narration. From the makoti duties which border on the abusive, to the burden placed on the wife as the sole builder and carrier of the family whose main job is to make the husband happy at all costs. The in-laws expectations and role in the establishment of new families is foregrounded and we experience not only the perpetuation of patriarchal norms and customs whose sole purpose is to oppress, shame and suppress the new makoti, we also see how Zandile's identity and "womanhood" is reduced because of her birthing, childcare and housekeeping choices.
A Family Affair is not only a melodrama, it contributes to the greater discourse on Gender Based Violence, the value and worth of women in the African context, the law of inheritance in the African context, our agencies as black women which are always overshadowed by the demands of the family and how married women often defer their dreams to assist their husbands build careers and still have their contribution minimized.
Sue Nyathi interrogates important women-centric issues against the background of a collapsing Zimbabwean economy. The widening inequality gap resulting in forced migrations and the burden young families carry in supporting elderly parents. We also experience a day in the life of an affluent Zimbabwean. Such big lives mirroring the affluent American reality shows. The shopping across the border. The chauffeur-driven excursions.
A Family Affair is an important family-oriented story and reminds us that in the midst of uncertain political conditions, personal loss, gruesome experiences, we still carry on loving and supporting our parents, siblings and extended families and hope that our children experience better than we did.
This story elicited laughter because we've been hypocritical, as women, and tears because though we cry foul, change is within our reach. Once we stop accepting the perils of patriarchy and start chipping away at their systematic foundations, the world will be a better place for all genders. It is up to the women to fight this because the men have no incentive to see the dismantling of a system which solely benefits them end.
March 7, 2021
RELATABLE...WITTY...HONEST.
This book is based on the MAFU family.. it actually reminded me of the Oprah produced series called Greenleaf . They say Umfundisi akamuzali umfundisi ( I wanted to translate it into English but the message was lost in English) and we see this in the Mafu girl Xoliswa, Yandisa and Zandile.
We all know a Xoliswa, we all know a Yandisa and we all know a Zandile. Yandisa story hit home ."
This book revealed a fun side of Sue writing process that was completely different to her other 2 books ... The polygamist and thhe Gold diggers. I actually liked this side of Sue and you can actually tell she wrote this book in her 20's. So many important themes : Gender based violence, adultery and women bringing each other down... Society continues to judge women who are not married or have children by a certain age , it is not society but other women who make you feel like you are incompetent, we see a lot of that judgement towards Xoliswa especially from Aunt Ntombi.
This book is based on the MAFU family.. it actually reminded me of the Oprah produced series called Greenleaf . They say Umfundisi akamuzali umfundisi ( I wanted to translate it into English but the message was lost in English) and we see this in the Mafu girl Xoliswa, Yandisa and Zandile.
We all know a Xoliswa, we all know a Yandisa and we all know a Zandile. Yandisa story hit home ."
This book revealed a fun side of Sue writing process that was completely different to her other 2 books ... The polygamist and thhe Gold diggers. I actually liked this side of Sue and you can actually tell she wrote this book in her 20's. So many important themes : Gender based violence, adultery and women bringing each other down... Society continues to judge women who are not married or have children by a certain age , it is not society but other women who make you feel like you are incompetent, we see a lot of that judgement towards Xoliswa especially from Aunt Ntombi.
December 24, 2020
Wow Sue. Wow. My heart was broken throughout this book. The stories are so real and so relatable that any woman can find themselves in at least on of them
December 25, 2020
“Men will cheat. It’s in their nature but what you need to learn is that it doesn’t mean anything. They need variety. Chicken one day, beef stew the next. You’d also get bored if you ate oxtail every day of your life.” This theme is a constant throughout the book. Whether the men cheat now and get caught, or grown illegitimate children show up at family gatherings to shock and awe, it’s all stemmed from infidelity.
The story spans through generations of the Mafu family, where Abraham had two sons (Vumani and Wandile) with his first wife and discarded them after meeting Phumla. He had three daughters (Xoliswa, Yandisa and Zandile) with Phumla, and raised a family with her. The three daughters are the protagonists of the book, which tells the story of their turbulent lives. Abraham’s family tree expands through his grandchildren, some born within the cocoon of marriage, while others’ births were tainted with scandal and secrets. In the Mafu clan, each typical family member is represented within the family structure - the black sheep, the gossiping aunt, the sister in law who does not like her brother’s wife, the devout Christians and the part time Christians, the golden child, the hypocrites, the womaniser. They are all there. I think the one person who is not there is the drunk uncle who ruins the wedding.
The story covers a lot of socially relevant themes and topics (it is a big book after all). The themes covered include women being raised to believe marriage is the climax of success & nothing else matters when you are not married. Sue also touched on GBV & sexual violence (which are strife in Africa), family secrets, heartbreak, depression, gender roles within a marriage, and the beautiful bond of sisterhood.
One of the core themes is the symbol of the wedding ring. The ring means so many different things to different people. To some it is the ultimate prize. To some it is a prison. To some it is something that should be fought for and protected at all costs. To some it means the loss of the person they used to be. To some it’s a blazing flame you must play far away from. The ring is not something that just gets put on one’s finger and life continues. It has its pros and cons. For women, the ring separates the girls from the women, it sanctifies the former whores and upgrades you in a way money and wealth can never do. Some women have died because of the ring. Women have torn each other apart to get the ring. Some don’t want the ring, but only the benefits of having the ring, but not the ring itself. Apart from Ndaba, to the men the ring is merely an accessory.
I broke down at the chapter where Sue Nyathi personifies Heartbreak. Anyone who has been destroyed by the betrayal of a loved one is going to bleed at this chapter. This one chapter for me, is really the highlight of the book. It shows the talent and skill that Sue Nyathi has. I also just love Sue Nyathi’s attention to detail and authenticity. With some authors you will get a feeling the story takes place in 1998 however the gadgets and other things are from 2020. There is none of that with Sue. It is very clear what era the story is taking place in, and I highly appreciate this about her.
I loved the book. I took my time reading it, making sure that I savour every word. Of her three books, this for me, is by far her best work. Bravo Sue Nyathi, you did it again.
The story spans through generations of the Mafu family, where Abraham had two sons (Vumani and Wandile) with his first wife and discarded them after meeting Phumla. He had three daughters (Xoliswa, Yandisa and Zandile) with Phumla, and raised a family with her. The three daughters are the protagonists of the book, which tells the story of their turbulent lives. Abraham’s family tree expands through his grandchildren, some born within the cocoon of marriage, while others’ births were tainted with scandal and secrets. In the Mafu clan, each typical family member is represented within the family structure - the black sheep, the gossiping aunt, the sister in law who does not like her brother’s wife, the devout Christians and the part time Christians, the golden child, the hypocrites, the womaniser. They are all there. I think the one person who is not there is the drunk uncle who ruins the wedding.
The story covers a lot of socially relevant themes and topics (it is a big book after all). The themes covered include women being raised to believe marriage is the climax of success & nothing else matters when you are not married. Sue also touched on GBV & sexual violence (which are strife in Africa), family secrets, heartbreak, depression, gender roles within a marriage, and the beautiful bond of sisterhood.
One of the core themes is the symbol of the wedding ring. The ring means so many different things to different people. To some it is the ultimate prize. To some it is a prison. To some it is something that should be fought for and protected at all costs. To some it means the loss of the person they used to be. To some it’s a blazing flame you must play far away from. The ring is not something that just gets put on one’s finger and life continues. It has its pros and cons. For women, the ring separates the girls from the women, it sanctifies the former whores and upgrades you in a way money and wealth can never do. Some women have died because of the ring. Women have torn each other apart to get the ring. Some don’t want the ring, but only the benefits of having the ring, but not the ring itself. Apart from Ndaba, to the men the ring is merely an accessory.
I broke down at the chapter where Sue Nyathi personifies Heartbreak. Anyone who has been destroyed by the betrayal of a loved one is going to bleed at this chapter. This one chapter for me, is really the highlight of the book. It shows the talent and skill that Sue Nyathi has. I also just love Sue Nyathi’s attention to detail and authenticity. With some authors you will get a feeling the story takes place in 1998 however the gadgets and other things are from 2020. There is none of that with Sue. It is very clear what era the story is taking place in, and I highly appreciate this about her.
I loved the book. I took my time reading it, making sure that I savour every word. Of her three books, this for me, is by far her best work. Bravo Sue Nyathi, you did it again.
November 6, 2020
Sue did not disappoint yet again. Completely enjoyed this one and how different it felt from her other two books. A story about family and how the pressures they throw at us affect us and our decision making, sometimes consciously or unconsciously all in the name of fitting in.
These characters stay with you...
These characters stay with you...
Read
October 12, 2020'Independent and feisty Xoliswa returns home, after a hiatus abroad, hoping for a fresh start and a chance to steer the family business; rebellious Yandisa has met the love of her life and is finally getting her act together; while dutiful newlywed Zandile is slowly becoming disillusioned with her happily ever after...'
March 26, 2021
What a rollercoster of emotions! Well, in all her books, she has never disappointed us, but on this one, she took a step further. She dealt with us.
Sometimes as parents we try too hard, we forget that our kids still need to discover themselves. That they have their own purpose and have their own journey in this world. We wish we could design a manual for them, to correct our mistakes. We are surprised when they turn out differently.
In this book, if you are a black African, you will relate to few if not all characters there. You will identify yourself, your aunt, your neighbor, sisters, parents, brothers, colleagues etc.
The book is so huge but it is such a page turner in such a way that your worry will be on your characters' wellbeing than when are you going to finish it.
The story follows the lives of 3 Mafu sisters.. Xoliswa, Yandisa and Zandile. It starts with the wedding of the younger sister, Zandile,then we are also let-in, in the lives of other sisters.
When they say, 'izono zabazali ziyowela ebantwaneni' they mean this. Their parents have a history, especially their dad (isoka lamanyala). Xoliswa, although she is educated and all, she cannot satisfy a dream of being a woman as per the societal standards and expectations... 'Get married, settle down and have kids.' She is a pillar of the family but there is no recognition because she is not married. She has not achieved anything in their eyes, not because she has not tried and it is worse as the eldest daughter. Yandisa, we can blame her. Infact you will be angry at how she conducts her affairs. She got the ring that everyone is looking for but at what cost?
Zandile- though she got married and settled with the love of her life, she lost herself in the process. She had to stop all her dreams to make a home for her family, obviously not to disappoint her parents and relatives etc..
Ooh the aunts.. Ntombi especially... I wished I could strangle her. Though taking care of the Mafu boys was a plus for her, her character made me sick. The aunts that have a lot to say with nothing positive to contribute for the wellbeing of the kids. They have learned and seen how society has dealt with them and instead of changing the narrative and ensuring their kids do not go through what they went through, they throw petrol in an already burning fire.
Babalwa-Yandisa's daughter. She is crying for help, silently. I would be judgemental towards her as I read the story..but I know better. When things are not dealt with, when secrets are swept under the carpert, what do we expect? They praise God during the day and hope things will just vanish. It is sad when secrets resurface because like it is always said 'Akukho okufihliwe ongeke kuvele' then we act all surprised. It's all a family affair. It does not matter how it makes you feel, shuuush and move on.
Gosh I will not talk about Wesley-Yandisa's hubby. I have no words for him.
There are a lot of themes discussed in this book. Some being patriarchal and matriarchal society. Their expectations, their roles in raising their offspring. They put down the laws and they have to be followed.
Gender Based violence in all its forms. Secrets, teenage pregnancy, justice, economy, infedility and more.
Thank you Sue, I doubt one person or two would do justice reviewing this book. It needs a club. It's a lot. But thank you for keeping us glued, entertained and even for making us cry and laugh. I did not know you had such sense of humor. Though it was such a difficult read in terms of the context, you would just throw lines that would crack one up. Like the penties Phumla used to buy for Sarah 'the mother in law🤣🤣'.
Sometimes as parents we try too hard, we forget that our kids still need to discover themselves. That they have their own purpose and have their own journey in this world. We wish we could design a manual for them, to correct our mistakes. We are surprised when they turn out differently.
In this book, if you are a black African, you will relate to few if not all characters there. You will identify yourself, your aunt, your neighbor, sisters, parents, brothers, colleagues etc.
The book is so huge but it is such a page turner in such a way that your worry will be on your characters' wellbeing than when are you going to finish it.
The story follows the lives of 3 Mafu sisters.. Xoliswa, Yandisa and Zandile. It starts with the wedding of the younger sister, Zandile,then we are also let-in, in the lives of other sisters.
When they say, 'izono zabazali ziyowela ebantwaneni' they mean this. Their parents have a history, especially their dad (isoka lamanyala). Xoliswa, although she is educated and all, she cannot satisfy a dream of being a woman as per the societal standards and expectations... 'Get married, settle down and have kids.' She is a pillar of the family but there is no recognition because she is not married. She has not achieved anything in their eyes, not because she has not tried and it is worse as the eldest daughter. Yandisa, we can blame her. Infact you will be angry at how she conducts her affairs. She got the ring that everyone is looking for but at what cost?
Zandile- though she got married and settled with the love of her life, she lost herself in the process. She had to stop all her dreams to make a home for her family, obviously not to disappoint her parents and relatives etc..
Ooh the aunts.. Ntombi especially... I wished I could strangle her. Though taking care of the Mafu boys was a plus for her, her character made me sick. The aunts that have a lot to say with nothing positive to contribute for the wellbeing of the kids. They have learned and seen how society has dealt with them and instead of changing the narrative and ensuring their kids do not go through what they went through, they throw petrol in an already burning fire.
Babalwa-Yandisa's daughter. She is crying for help, silently. I would be judgemental towards her as I read the story..but I know better. When things are not dealt with, when secrets are swept under the carpert, what do we expect? They praise God during the day and hope things will just vanish. It is sad when secrets resurface because like it is always said 'Akukho okufihliwe ongeke kuvele' then we act all surprised. It's all a family affair. It does not matter how it makes you feel, shuuush and move on.
Gosh I will not talk about Wesley-Yandisa's hubby. I have no words for him.
There are a lot of themes discussed in this book. Some being patriarchal and matriarchal society. Their expectations, their roles in raising their offspring. They put down the laws and they have to be followed.
Gender Based violence in all its forms. Secrets, teenage pregnancy, justice, economy, infedility and more.
Thank you Sue, I doubt one person or two would do justice reviewing this book. It needs a club. It's a lot. But thank you for keeping us glued, entertained and even for making us cry and laugh. I did not know you had such sense of humor. Though it was such a difficult read in terms of the context, you would just throw lines that would crack one up. Like the penties Phumla used to buy for Sarah 'the mother in law🤣🤣'.
August 9, 2021
Set over a decade with regular glimpses into the past, we meet the Mafu family - father, mother, 3 daughters and a granddaughter living in Bulawayo. Abraham has recently moved on from a successful construction business to become a full time preacher at a church he had founded with Phumla. We meet at the wedding of the youngest daughter, Zandile before the Zimbabwean economic collapse and experience the heartache and joys of family life over the next decade. Highly recommended.
July 25, 2022
A story that has religion and marriage as its major themes. The story is about the lives of the Mafus and how they sometimes drift apart but always have their way back to each other. I loved that the events in the book are not imaginary but are rather experienced by some women in society. Although marriage is seen as an achievement in many African homes there are a lot of women who could be divorced by cannot let go of their wedding ring or Mrs title.
November 15, 2020
Juicy Family drama..YES please!
In A family affair we follow the Mafu's. A picture perfect family from the outside but taking a closer look we are invited to their not so perfect frame.
Every sisters story is relatable, every husband portrayed exists and even a Ndaba is surely out there somewhere. What the younger generation is experiencing in their lives though is not something new. The matriachs of the family have experienced similar, be it cheating husbands, illegitimate children or abuse.
The advice is also the same. Stick it out.
Sue has done a fantastic job of putting us in the characters shoes. You get to understand the decisions made and why they were made, and at some point I found myself feeling some sort of sympathy towards some characters because of that inside scoop.
The fact that there are so many relatable lives in this book means many people will experience it differently from their own relatable perspectives. Whether you're the Deputy mom, the favorite child or the black sheep of the family, there is a character in here for you to relate to.
I read this book in a week and I didn't mind it at all. I looked forward to my late night date with the Mafu's and I'll miss them dearly.
If you're not reading this book, what exactly are you doing with your life?
In A family affair we follow the Mafu's. A picture perfect family from the outside but taking a closer look we are invited to their not so perfect frame.
Every sisters story is relatable, every husband portrayed exists and even a Ndaba is surely out there somewhere. What the younger generation is experiencing in their lives though is not something new. The matriachs of the family have experienced similar, be it cheating husbands, illegitimate children or abuse.
The advice is also the same. Stick it out.
Sue has done a fantastic job of putting us in the characters shoes. You get to understand the decisions made and why they were made, and at some point I found myself feeling some sort of sympathy towards some characters because of that inside scoop.
The fact that there are so many relatable lives in this book means many people will experience it differently from their own relatable perspectives. Whether you're the Deputy mom, the favorite child or the black sheep of the family, there is a character in here for you to relate to.
I read this book in a week and I didn't mind it at all. I looked forward to my late night date with the Mafu's and I'll miss them dearly.
If you're not reading this book, what exactly are you doing with your life?
March 9, 2021
This was a book that was challenging to read. It wasn’t just because it was about 150 pages too long but also because of the negative light men were depicted in. You mean to tell me there’s not one man in Zimbabwe who isn’t abusive, a cheater, a tief, lazy, full of entitlement, a paedophile or misogynistic??
In this book we follow The Mafus, a prominent and financially comfortable family who run a church. They have 3 daughters who they attempt to raise to be pious and good while grooming them to be wives.
I enjoyed the exposure I got to traditional practices in Zimbabwe. I did not enjoy the senseless ill-treatment of women and how they were able to accept it. I’m sure this happens to some extent but for it to be happening to all the women in the book and for it to be viewed as normal was mind boggling for me!
The book was also unnecessarily wordy so i struggled at times to read it.
All in all I could have done without it I’m afraid.
In this book we follow The Mafus, a prominent and financially comfortable family who run a church. They have 3 daughters who they attempt to raise to be pious and good while grooming them to be wives.
I enjoyed the exposure I got to traditional practices in Zimbabwe. I did not enjoy the senseless ill-treatment of women and how they were able to accept it. I’m sure this happens to some extent but for it to be happening to all the women in the book and for it to be viewed as normal was mind boggling for me!
The book was also unnecessarily wordy so i struggled at times to read it.
All in all I could have done without it I’m afraid.
August 8, 2021
3,5 stars.
October 22, 2022
This could easily be a feminist manifesto. The recurring theme is the cruelty of men. I enjoyed it and it kind of reminded me of society’s ills and the things we as men take for granted.
Enjoyed it, it’s vintage Sue.
Enjoyed it, it’s vintage Sue.
March 11, 2021
This is a beautifully written book, that's not easy to put down from beginning to the end. It lays bare the drama and trauma of the Mafu Family that has so many skeletons no single cupboard can keep. The family skeletons come tumbling out to no end. No one is sparednthe disgrace, including Pastor Abraham Mafu and his Wife.
On the surface the family is happy and stable, notwithstanding the political and economic turmoil playing itself out in Zimbabwe.
You have to go through the 456 pages to get its full drama.
On the surface the family is happy and stable, notwithstanding the political and economic turmoil playing itself out in Zimbabwe.
You have to go through the 456 pages to get its full drama.
November 14, 2020
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman of childbearing age must be in want of a husband....
Wow wow, so raw, so moving, so touching and so true of what many women experience. The stories are echos of what myself and other women not only in Zimbabwe but around the world have experienced. Definitely a must read. Can’t wait for my book club discussion.
Wow wow, so raw, so moving, so touching and so true of what many women experience. The stories are echos of what myself and other women not only in Zimbabwe but around the world have experienced. Definitely a must read. Can’t wait for my book club discussion.
January 21, 2021
How are you if only you will write more then I will grow old peacefully I give you my blessings waiting for one more from you soon
July 30, 2023
South African Author!
I hope this book is in bookclubs EVERYWHERE being discussed in detail - because it's just ONE of those books ❤️
We follow the Mafus, a religious, wealthy and well known family in Bulawayo. Dad Abraham, is a successful business owner, church starter, devoted husband and father to 4 daughters.
Mother Phumla, is a devoted wife who stands by her husband's side, supports the church he built and manages her 4 daughters, 3 of them adults.
Xoilisa is the oldest daughter, living with her boyfriend of 10 years in the british islands with a successful job.
Yandisa is the 'troublesome' one, always having something to say, going out till what time, drinking and being cozy with men.
Zandile is the good girl, the youngest and the only one that is getting married.
Babs is so young - she is being raised as Abraham and Phumla's kid, but she isn't.
The above description of each of the main Mafus above, are only the surface of what the extended family and friends see and ultimately us as the reader... At first.
We follow the characters both individually and as a family throughout a few years as they navigate life and the terrible things that sometimes come with it, marriage, divorce, adultery, abuse, lies, broken homes, poverty and mysoganie at its cor.
To explain the TRUCK load of emotions I felt while reading this book is hard. I felt it all, sadness, disgust, anger, pity, awe and fear.... All of it.
This book delves into the things woman have dealt with over the years and have been told to expect as 'normal'
It raises the importance around 'toxic masculinity' and raising your kids in that light, creating generations worth of harm.
It discusses the larger part of faith and religion in our respective cultures and homes and personally how 'hypocritical' and 'fickle' it can all be is some settings.
Spell binding
Riveting
Unputdownable
Page turner
This book was by no means an easy read, but it was such an honest, raw and real story.
Please check out the synopsis and the Trigger warnings - but if this at all piques your interest, I highly recommend this book to all ♥️
I hope this book is in bookclubs EVERYWHERE being discussed in detail - because it's just ONE of those books ❤️
We follow the Mafus, a religious, wealthy and well known family in Bulawayo. Dad Abraham, is a successful business owner, church starter, devoted husband and father to 4 daughters.
Mother Phumla, is a devoted wife who stands by her husband's side, supports the church he built and manages her 4 daughters, 3 of them adults.
Xoilisa is the oldest daughter, living with her boyfriend of 10 years in the british islands with a successful job.
Yandisa is the 'troublesome' one, always having something to say, going out till what time, drinking and being cozy with men.
Zandile is the good girl, the youngest and the only one that is getting married.
Babs is so young - she is being raised as Abraham and Phumla's kid, but she isn't.
The above description of each of the main Mafus above, are only the surface of what the extended family and friends see and ultimately us as the reader... At first.
We follow the characters both individually and as a family throughout a few years as they navigate life and the terrible things that sometimes come with it, marriage, divorce, adultery, abuse, lies, broken homes, poverty and mysoganie at its cor.
To explain the TRUCK load of emotions I felt while reading this book is hard. I felt it all, sadness, disgust, anger, pity, awe and fear.... All of it.
This book delves into the things woman have dealt with over the years and have been told to expect as 'normal'
It raises the importance around 'toxic masculinity' and raising your kids in that light, creating generations worth of harm.
It discusses the larger part of faith and religion in our respective cultures and homes and personally how 'hypocritical' and 'fickle' it can all be is some settings.
Spell binding
Riveting
Unputdownable
Page turner
This book was by no means an easy read, but it was such an honest, raw and real story.
Please check out the synopsis and the Trigger warnings - but if this at all piques your interest, I highly recommend this book to all ♥️
August 5, 2021
Set in the early 2000s in Byo, Zimbabwe, this is a family centered book that doesn’t just offer the drama that comes with family centered books, but carries real life lessons for the girl child.
It goes without saying though that as the reader, you had to take some of the advises with a grain of salt because not all of the advises (from the elderly characters to the younger characters) are commendable, or better still applicable to this modern day and age.
It did cover a range of issues most women go through, particularly in marriage. The book was clearly written with very good usage of English.
Though some parts were sexually descriptive I wasn’t thrown off one bit because there was a lot more to take from this book, so I simply skipped those parts.
If you are into family centered novels, then this book is definitely for you. It carries all the drama!
It goes without saying though that as the reader, you had to take some of the advises with a grain of salt because not all of the advises (from the elderly characters to the younger characters) are commendable, or better still applicable to this modern day and age.
It did cover a range of issues most women go through, particularly in marriage. The book was clearly written with very good usage of English.
Though some parts were sexually descriptive I wasn’t thrown off one bit because there was a lot more to take from this book, so I simply skipped those parts.
If you are into family centered novels, then this book is definitely for you. It carries all the drama!
May 4, 2021
This was a very good read and I enjoyed it to the very end, even though the story line upset me here and there. Sue Nyathi is a very good writer and depicts life in written words as raw as it can be. The story ended with my favourite character's death which I believed and still do, that it was a bit unfair. But it's just me as I always favour the underdogs. There is one character I would have preferred the axe to have fallen over instead but hey, we don't always get what we want.
I got a bit confused by a number of flashbacks in the story, which at times made me pause to acknowledge why they were there and this kind of forced maximum concentration on my part. These were carefully and craftily written and were not just thrown willy nilly.
Sue Nyathi's fun and naughty side appeared here and there and this was a very welcome relief - yes I enjoyed those adult scenes!
I wouldn't want to spoil it for others by hightlighting the details in the book but, I can simply advise potential readers to pick the book up and read it.
I got a bit confused by a number of flashbacks in the story, which at times made me pause to acknowledge why they were there and this kind of forced maximum concentration on my part. These were carefully and craftily written and were not just thrown willy nilly.
Sue Nyathi's fun and naughty side appeared here and there and this was a very welcome relief - yes I enjoyed those adult scenes!
I wouldn't want to spoil it for others by hightlighting the details in the book but, I can simply advise potential readers to pick the book up and read it.
April 4, 2021
Talking about a whirl wind ride through family drama! Chileeeee this book had it all! I love Sues writing and I can vouch for anything in her catalogue! The dynamics between women and men in this book are just jaw dropping 😫 I live for a moving plot and this one definitely has a plot that keeps you engaged and wanting to read more!
July 18, 2025
All I can say right now is yhooooooo!
November 13, 2020
One word that sums up @suenyathi book, OUTSTANDING!
Her writing is authentic and humble and I’m officially hooked on Sue Nyathi!
•
It’s been a long time since I read a book where I was wholeheartedly immersed. I became emotionally attached to the characters in this story 🥺
I was frustrated with the three sisters, Xoliswa, Yandisa and Zandile, when the repeatedly made bad choices, but my heart-ached from them at the same time. I was constantly wanting better for them. More respect, more love and more understanding.
•
I nearly burst into tears at the end, when it reveals what happens to Yandisa. When I finished the book I wanted to sit in silence and process everything that had happened. Sue Nyathi took me on an emotional roller coaster, thank you 🙌🏼
•
The book is not as emotionally heavy as I am making it seem, but what these women experienced (years ago) is still a culture that is lived today by many women today, and that is what made me feel so involved.
•
I am thankful to have chosen ‘A Family Affair’ as another book on my journey in exploring and appreciating African fiction. It’s a success
•
Blurb
Follow the women of the Mary family and how each of them live a different life of love, marriage and children, but in the same breath all seek to be better and respected. A family filled with religion, scandal, honour and love.
Her writing is authentic and humble and I’m officially hooked on Sue Nyathi!
•
It’s been a long time since I read a book where I was wholeheartedly immersed. I became emotionally attached to the characters in this story 🥺
I was frustrated with the three sisters, Xoliswa, Yandisa and Zandile, when the repeatedly made bad choices, but my heart-ached from them at the same time. I was constantly wanting better for them. More respect, more love and more understanding.
•
I nearly burst into tears at the end, when it reveals what happens to Yandisa. When I finished the book I wanted to sit in silence and process everything that had happened. Sue Nyathi took me on an emotional roller coaster, thank you 🙌🏼
•
The book is not as emotionally heavy as I am making it seem, but what these women experienced (years ago) is still a culture that is lived today by many women today, and that is what made me feel so involved.
•
I am thankful to have chosen ‘A Family Affair’ as another book on my journey in exploring and appreciating African fiction. It’s a success
•
Blurb
Follow the women of the Mary family and how each of them live a different life of love, marriage and children, but in the same breath all seek to be better and respected. A family filled with religion, scandal, honour and love.
November 14, 2020
What a good book! A true and authentic account of a culture and community we aren't all familiar with. Brave in that it tackles topics head on such as patriarchy, sex, abuse, power, economic and social disparities.
December 22, 2020
I am having withdrawal problems 😭I loved this book oh my word someone hug me 💖 This book 🤭I have no words ,it's such a good read. No family is perfect and no love story is hiccup free
July 18, 2021
This long family centred melodrama felt like a bit of fluff at the start, almost a Zimbabwean Kardashians centred around three beautiful, pampered sisters and their apparently fabulous lives. However, over a decade or so of their story, set against the backdrop of the economic collapse of the country, the curse of the obsession with marriage - or the outward appearance of it - is revealed as as a ticking bomb that adds depth and pace to what becomes a gripping and complex novel. The clashes and compromises faced by modern, well-educated women in a society with strong cultural and religious patriarchical norms kept my stomach in knots throughout. I was flung between admiration for the loyalty and support the myriad female characters offered each other through difficult life stages, to horror at the hypocrisy on display between the genders and generations. This was an illuminating and thought provoking read.
December 26, 2020
A Family Affair tells the story of the Mafu family, highlighting the complexities carried by families, from family secrets, to abuse - the whole shabang.
To tell you the truth I’m still stumped by this book. I don’t even have the words to sum up my feelings, mainly because I’m new to this genre of storytelling, so I needed to sit down and listen to others. I’m not even sure of my rating.
ig: inge_8 said something along the lines of it being the author’s talented way of holding up a mirror to society’s ills. ig: pebi_books spoke of its relatability, ig: bellbellnotdebeauvoir asks the very important question - “who is this book written for?”
Personally, I couldn’t get over how senseless the violence enacted upon the women characters was, I still maintain that there was no lesson learnt, instead I was reminded of the trauma that women, especially black women, experience on a daily basis and it just wouldn’t end 💀. This is coming from someone who doesn’t mind a little violence - gimme equal opportunity violence pls. With that being said, I couldn’t put the book down, I needed it to be over but it’s definitely a binge-worthy read.
Trigger warning: every bad thing imaginable faced by black women 💀 you’ll definitely hate men more by the time you get to the last page
To tell you the truth I’m still stumped by this book. I don’t even have the words to sum up my feelings, mainly because I’m new to this genre of storytelling, so I needed to sit down and listen to others. I’m not even sure of my rating.
ig: inge_8 said something along the lines of it being the author’s talented way of holding up a mirror to society’s ills. ig: pebi_books spoke of its relatability, ig: bellbellnotdebeauvoir asks the very important question - “who is this book written for?”
Personally, I couldn’t get over how senseless the violence enacted upon the women characters was, I still maintain that there was no lesson learnt, instead I was reminded of the trauma that women, especially black women, experience on a daily basis and it just wouldn’t end 💀. This is coming from someone who doesn’t mind a little violence - gimme equal opportunity violence pls. With that being said, I couldn’t put the book down, I needed it to be over but it’s definitely a binge-worthy read.
Trigger warning: every bad thing imaginable faced by black women 💀 you’ll definitely hate men more by the time you get to the last page
June 27, 2021
I loved LOVED this novel! Following the Mafu sisters, Family Affair gives a perfect montage of what most families struggle with. Secrets, lies, grief and struggle. It also celebrates black love and excellence in some aspects. There are some triggering moments in the book (abuse- physical), so if this is a trigger for you, maybe give this one a skip. But a definite page Turner! Truly entertaining!
June 1, 2021
Sue Nyathi's book address a variety of issues facing society and right from the first page it is difficult to avoid getting emotionally involved.
Nyathi masterfully explores each of her characters and leaves you with a sense of loss and grief when you finally turn the last page. I always hate leaving the world of any book I'm reading. But with this one I might actually need a little therapy because it was intense!
Kudos to Sue Nyathi for the outstanding work.
Nyathi masterfully explores each of her characters and leaves you with a sense of loss and grief when you finally turn the last page. I always hate leaving the world of any book I'm reading. But with this one I might actually need a little therapy because it was intense!
Kudos to Sue Nyathi for the outstanding work.
June 23, 2025
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman of childbearing age must be in want of a husband is the opening gambit of this third novel by Zimbabwean author Sue Nyathi. Taking this riff from the beloved Pride and Prejudice, this novel brings certain themes to play in this contemporary book. From the start, it is evident that Ms. Nyathi seeks to dialogue with the age old concept of women’s most important role - wife and mother. The story introduces the Mafu family at the wedding of the last daughter, Zandile set in Bulawayo.The bride has two older unmarried sisters and is having serious misgivings. Then there is the commentary between aunts at the ceremony, hinting at troubled waters within the family. Unsurprisingly, this novel showcases the cracks not only in the Mafu family but the modern Zimbabwean society. By the end the story seemingly comes full circle with the next generation walking a similar path.
This family saga is a brazenly told, non judgmental narrative with multiple perspectives. The parents, Abraham and Phumla, the other siblings, Yandisa and Xoliswa and some of the extended family are heavily featured. Not surprising for a book set with traditional values of a developing African state. There is the conflict between the older traditional ways of engagement and marriage ceremony and the more Western influence. Regardless of the bride’s desire, most of the ceremonies shown here are decided by the older men in the family. A friction that plagues Zandile’s wedding when confronted with the more traditional aspects of culture compared to the modern urban lifestyle she was raised in. And her sibling Xoliswa (think Elizabeth Bennett) who is more focused on career and Yandisa ( think Lydia Bennet) also are criticized at this white wedding. From here, the story works through its themes of gender roles, sexual purity and attire which affects bride price, caretaker and becoming a mother. Clearly, the author wants to challenge the stereotypical way women are seen and treated in Zimbabwe in modern times.
This novel has quite weighty themes which require a sophisticated touch to balance gender violence with lighter moments. This novel is best described as hard, gritty and realistic. There is little nuance and with the repeated incidences of trauma, this makes for a heavy and messy read. That all the men in this story are abusive with almost no redeeming qualities and the women are so one dimensional made this more of a melodrama than the satire that was intended. There were times when Zandile and Xoliswa behaved outside of the initial character arc established, just to facilitate a plot development. Yes, patriarchy devastates the family and causes generational trauma but at least one redemption arc could have enhanced the narrative more. The other major issue was the politico- economic conditions in the late 1990s to early 2000 cause some strange plot developments. The Mafu family for the most part lived within a bubble that never seemed to match the known realities of that time. The expectations of reading a book set under Mugabe regime would be a more bird’s eye view to potential hardships, beyond the sanctions. To be fair, the author initially wrote this book at a younger age and then edited for its 2000 publication. Consequently, this explains its flaws in this book where the author is passionate about the way women are still perceived. There is no doubt in her eyes that not much has changed since the Regency period which is so beloved and yet hides a dark underbelly.
Thematically, this book delves deeply into the hypocrisy of patriarchy. Proper editing could have made this an excellent book that converses with Pride and Prejudice.
This family saga is a brazenly told, non judgmental narrative with multiple perspectives. The parents, Abraham and Phumla, the other siblings, Yandisa and Xoliswa and some of the extended family are heavily featured. Not surprising for a book set with traditional values of a developing African state. There is the conflict between the older traditional ways of engagement and marriage ceremony and the more Western influence. Regardless of the bride’s desire, most of the ceremonies shown here are decided by the older men in the family. A friction that plagues Zandile’s wedding when confronted with the more traditional aspects of culture compared to the modern urban lifestyle she was raised in. And her sibling Xoliswa (think Elizabeth Bennett) who is more focused on career and Yandisa ( think Lydia Bennet) also are criticized at this white wedding. From here, the story works through its themes of gender roles, sexual purity and attire which affects bride price, caretaker and becoming a mother. Clearly, the author wants to challenge the stereotypical way women are seen and treated in Zimbabwe in modern times.
This novel has quite weighty themes which require a sophisticated touch to balance gender violence with lighter moments. This novel is best described as hard, gritty and realistic. There is little nuance and with the repeated incidences of trauma, this makes for a heavy and messy read. That all the men in this story are abusive with almost no redeeming qualities and the women are so one dimensional made this more of a melodrama than the satire that was intended. There were times when Zandile and Xoliswa behaved outside of the initial character arc established, just to facilitate a plot development. Yes, patriarchy devastates the family and causes generational trauma but at least one redemption arc could have enhanced the narrative more. The other major issue was the politico- economic conditions in the late 1990s to early 2000 cause some strange plot developments. The Mafu family for the most part lived within a bubble that never seemed to match the known realities of that time. The expectations of reading a book set under Mugabe regime would be a more bird’s eye view to potential hardships, beyond the sanctions. To be fair, the author initially wrote this book at a younger age and then edited for its 2000 publication. Consequently, this explains its flaws in this book where the author is passionate about the way women are still perceived. There is no doubt in her eyes that not much has changed since the Regency period which is so beloved and yet hides a dark underbelly.
Thematically, this book delves deeply into the hypocrisy of patriarchy. Proper editing could have made this an excellent book that converses with Pride and Prejudice.
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