The Angel Letters: Lessons That Dying Can Teach us About Living

by Norman J. Fried

Working in the children's cancer unit of a New York hospital for fifteen years, Norman Fried has been psychotherapist and counselor to both physically ill children and their worried families and friends. He has been part of scenes of bitterness and pain–and has observed how these sad moments have taught all concerned about life's important lessons. Sitting at the bedsides of children with life–threatening cancer, he has been sadly fortunate to hear their messages of hope and love, which have taught him how to help those they were leaving behind. The Angel Letters is his extraordinary book based on his experiences. It is intended for the living but is composed in the form of letters addressed to a dozen different children whose last days and months he shared intimately. From each experience he draws a lesson―in love, family, courage, belonging, etc.―that can help parents and family learn to suffer through the tragedy of their sick or lost child, drawing strength from their understanding of what has happened and from an appreciation for their child's perspective. "No story ends in death," Dr. Fried writes, "not in this book, and not in life. What happens after death is ours to ponder and struggle with. Some questions remain unanswered. But how a family lives after a death, how we as mourners can carry on–these are the questions I wrestle with here." In The Angel Letters he proves to be an inspiring companion for this difficult journey.

142 pages, Hardcover

First published March 25, 2007

Reviews

[Bridget · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and am curious to know if those who are not grieving would love it, too. Each chapter is about a new child who is dying of cancer. Each is so different and the lessons Dr. Norm learns from each one are amazing. I found myself crying through the whole thing. The stories are touching and my own loss is so close to the surface. I often thought of the letter that I'd like to write to Evan.

[Dave · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a chapter in this book about my family. It's about the death of my brother. I love this fucking book.

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were two chapters in this book that I enjoyed, "The Lesson of Understanding" and "The Lesson of Belonging". I could have done without the rest of it, I think. Ideologically, it's a one-size-fits-all sort of book, and that's not always very helpful.
I did appreciate the author's premise: to write letters to departed children (or young adults) with whom he worked during their terminal illnesses. His job was to meet them where they were, spiritually speaking.
Books that meet me where I am spiritually seem to be the most helpful, so this one was too generic to really mean much to me.

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made my heart break and cry. Very touching tribute to his young patients and the lessons that each of them taught him.