Alien Abduction for Beginners

The Intergalactic Guide to Humans #1

by Skye MacKinnon

Not all aliens are good at abducting humans.

Havel, Matar and Xil have failed too many times to count. Luckily, there’s help available for failed kidnappers: a diploma offered by the Intergalactic University. To complete their course, these three sexy aliens need to abduct a human female – and they’re graded on it.

The problem is, the human female has no intentions of being abducted, not even to help them get the universe’s most recognised abduction qualification.

A hilarious sci-fi reverse harem with clueless aliens and the human woman they’re trying to seduce (and probe). Beware, these aliens have fangs and tails and are ready to put them to good use.

Genres: Reverse Harem, Aliens, Science Fiction, Romance, Audiobook, Science Fiction Romance, Fantasy

160 pages, Paperback

First published December 12, 2020

About the author

Skye MacKinnon is a USA Today & International Bestselling Author whose books are filled with strong heroines who don't have to choose.

She embraces her Scottishness with fantastical Scottish settings and a dash of mythology, no matter if she's writing about Celtic gods, cat shifters, or the streets of Edinburgh.

When she's not typing away at her favourite cafe, Skye loves dried mango, as much exotic tea as she can squeeze into her cupboards, and being covered in pet hair by her tiny black cat (who's secretly a demon).


Join her mailing list ➜ ​http://skyemackinnon.com/newsletter

Join her Facebook group ➜ facebook.com/groups/skyesbookharem

Visit her website ➜ skyemackinnon.com

Follow her on Twitter ➜ twitter.com/skye_mackinnon

Follow her on Instagram➜ instagram.com/skyemackinnonauthor

Reviews

[Kimmylongtime · Rating 5 out of 5]

What do you when the entire galaxy thinks you’re a joke ?

What do you do when it’s because you and your crew of besties 👯 are horrible at abduction ?

What do you do when you know in your heart of hearts that this is all you’ve ever wanted to do?

3 best friends are trying to regain their respect 🫡 by successfully taking this abduction course and completing an abduction. Who knew it would be this much work?!! No wonder they abductees keep getting away and the last one even stole their escape pod.

This time around they are going to abduct a human female and make her theirs. That is if they are successful this time.

This book was laugh out loud funny and it is must read for anyone whose had a long day. Skye Mackinnon is a writer based in the UK so you may see some S’s where you are used to seeing Z’s and some phrasing you are not familiar with. Trust me everything is spelled correctly and it is a lovely read.

If you give this a chance I promise you’ll have lots of giggles 🤭!!

Happy reading everyone 😍😘🥰😍

[Dave Stone · Rating 2 out of 5]

Aims for cute, but misses and hits dumb
This is comedy? about three alien bozos who decide to abduct an earth woman to keep as their sex pet. Lucky for them They find a girl who apparently doesn't mind being kidnapped, stripped, and anally probed on the first date. There are two sex scenes, but this book goes right to fifth base.

Between the two sex scenes there is mind numbingly stupid filler. The comedy here is the fish out of water kind. The alien dudes are trying so hard to be the best abductors in galactic history, but they have no idea what they are doing, nor do they realize how badly they are bungling the whole thing. It's kinda cute... kinda. But the flaw is that none of it was actually funny to me.
Stupid people behaving stupidly isn't my gold standard of comedy.
-how stupid is it? These aliens think water (H2O) is unique to earth and that Hydrogen is some rare substance.
The more these buffoons clowned it up the cheaper the inside of their spaceship appeared in my head. By the end of this book I was picturing their spaceship made out of cardboard, not longer qualifying for plywood.

[PelicanFreak · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is pretty funny at times; it’s my first Skye MacKinnon read and left me curious about the rest of her catalog.

This particular read combines drama, abduction, interspecies hook-ups, science fiction, and … then basically shifts into porn and what I suspect is the stuff of some people’s fantasies. The author is clearly trying fairly hard to work in certain … scenes. Some of it’s pretty cheesy and doesn’t bother with plot-relevant explanations, too focused on the FMC’s pleasure.

I found it sort of interesting the way it flips from actual plot, to straight up porn … readers of erotica will likely enjoy this one.

3 stars.
⭐️⭐️⭐️

Note:
I listened to the audiobook; this was NOT a pleasant listening experience and I do not recommend these narrators. The male’s voice was especially painful. The female’s voice would be pleasant enough, I think, if she wasn’t screaming into her mic. No matter how low I put the volume, there’s no missing it: these narrators are SHOUTING and … it’s just uncomfortable. 2-star performance.

[❀ Crystal ✿ - PEACE ☮ LOVE ♥ BOOKS · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well this was one weird as hell alien romance. The book is also super short so everything moves at warp speed. The story had it’s funny moments but the majority was just super ridiculous, not bad though. The heroes are trying for their final time to abduct a mate, something that’s a right of passage for aliens out in the galaxy. They’ve tried before but let’s just say things don’t turn out very well. I gotta give these guys credit, they really do try to do things to impress and woo her. Unfortunately many of their interpretations of human customs and cultures are way waaaay off. Luckily for them the heroine lives a shit life on earth and I swear to god it takes her 30 second to accept her abduction and fate. 30 seconds after that and she’s purposely having one “probe” her. Once she decides she’s in, she’s all in….. It was cheesy but a fun and hot read.

[Marian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't stop laughing while reading this absolutely hilarious story. It deserves a 5 star rating just for the humor; although it is too short, it made me laugh so hard that I can't rate it lower, just for that reason.

The 3 alien abductors cracked me up with their ideas about seduction (the lace or the aliens' concept of lace), they're sooo sweet! The heroine was all for it, I mean, who wouldn't?

Highly recommended if you need something light that can put a smile on your face. I want to know how the story of this abduction continues since the ending was a HFN, hopefully the next book will be longer.

[Kit · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read :April 21, 2021
Rating : 2,5 Stars

The idea was kinda funny but it's so short that it, for me, was more like :hey nice to meet you, bumbling around, sex, the end.
But then in like 5 pages.
This doesn't always annoy me but in this case it just felt mega rushed.

[Sherry Fundin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review coming soon

[Connie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. Not for me.

[Chrissy Loves Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

I gave this 4 stars just for the fact that I laughed and rolled my eyes so much at this comedic take on aliens abducting a human female.
These three goofball aliens are taking a course on abduction. The human female Trisha definitely is one of a kind as well.

[Cherie Alvaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great read!!! I found myself hooked after I read the blurb! What a fantastic new series! I love funny romances and this one had my giggling quite a bit. Can't wait for book two!.

I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Stella · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[madtrekkie · Rating 5 out of 5]

After having one too many abductions go wrong - Xil, Matar and Havel - enrol into the Intergalactic University. They are keen students and at the abduction stage they meet (no.... abduct) Trish. Trish finds out this is all part of a course and is amused by their abduction techniques although there are a few things she doesn't mind...

I LOVED this story ❤️ this has a really quirky humour and being a fan of Douglas Adams and Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - I really LOVED it ❤️ The characters are likeable, relatable, quirky, adorable and a reader can't help but like them!! There's some sexy steamy scenes that are sensually written that demonstrate the relationship between them. Told from dual POVs and reveals the thoughts feelings and emotions as Matar, Xil and Havel try to pass their course and Trish's growing awareness and attraction to her sexy alien captors. The story has a HEA and leads into a new story.. can't WAIT to read it!!

[Darcy · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I started to read the story I wasn’t sure what I was going to think, but, as I read it the story pulled me in and I just had to find out what happens. It has humor that had me laughing. It has sweet moments that just make you smile. It is beautifully written and I absolutely adore the characters. Trish is strong and sweet as well as a bit sassy. The guys try so hard but well it becomes very intriguing. I loved the descriptions as it allows you to fully become immersed into the story itself. This is definitely worth reading and doesn’t disappoint. I can’t wait to the next book in the series.

[Danyelle Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved the way this book was set up. Each chapter coincides with a new lession that their are trying to learn. It makes the book original and funny as we see Xil, Matar and Havel as they try to navigate their abduction of Trish. As the guys are learning it really shows how some of our relationship rituals are pretty weird. The learning curve between humans and aliens are always so funny as they try to learn each other

Can't wait to see Trish and the crew as they continue with their abduction courses and learn more.

[Andrea ☾ [is inconsistently consistant] · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 ⭐️ I really don't know what the hell did I just listen to.

I don't know if this was trying to be funny, like a comedy, it certainly isn't a romance, but truly it's just a weird abduction/r*pe fantasy with three misogynistic as sh!t aliens who force the FMC to do anything they want, and since she has the personality of a blow-up doll, so she's down to clown pretty much immediately.

I almost DNFed multiple times, even though this is the shortest audiobook I've listen to in a while. Not even the narrators saved this one for. It was so, so bad.

[Shelly Diguer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book 📖 wasn’t what I was expecting at all ...it made me laugh 😆 out loud ....it’s female lead is a strong sassy 💁‍♀️ woman who crashes into the world of Aliens 👽, who are on an educational journey , who need to pass a course on abduction lol 😂 very funny 😁 amusing and sexual tension was through the roof will these sexy Alien 👽 pass their abduction course well you will just have to read this awesome book 📖

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok, so…. This was different. I don’t know if you have ever read anything like this, I know I haven’t.
3 aliens abduct young attractive girl with great boobs.
Yes, you have read that before, but…

This book is a comedy. It is funny. And has the erotica of alien abduction with a good anal probing to boot.

Ends very abruptly and I see there are more in the series.

Probably not going to read next book though so…l take that for what it is worth.

[Christina Luberts · Rating 2 out of 5]

This story really did not catch my interest. We have Havel, Matar and Xil who go to school together to learn how to become abductioners. They decide to kidnapp someone for earth. There is some humor on their misunderstandings from the human. The audio was good. You knew who was talking and it was a smooth reading.

I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[xndr rogers · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, this is silly and choppy in its reading. Not bad, not one of the authors best. Kind of happily ever after.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[seasalted.citrus (Topaz, Oliver) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I apologize to all my friends seeing this review. I have “A Sky Of Emerald Stars” on my TBR, noticed Bridget Bordeaux was the narrator for Sadie, and purposefully picked the most bizarre choice on her catalogue to familiarize myself with her voice and narration style. Anyways. Extra star added because I did enjoy her narration as Trish, while I wasn’t the biggest fan of Bridget’s masculine voices, I did like how she voiced her character’s confusion. (Honestly, her POV chapters, in both narration and writing, were the highlights of this novella.) TBH that’s a pretty good deal, considering that’s quite literally the only reason I’m here lol.

Not a big fan of this. I saw someone in the reviews be all shocked about the alien cum but the only abnormal thing it does is stain skin like a permanent marker. Nothing special there, it’s just a little silly. The POVs of the aliens were more painful to read than amusing, especially with the theatrical, often tonally inappropriate narration done for them. I’m also bummed we didn’t get more of Trish’s POV, not just for the preferences listed in the first paragraph, but also because I felt it objectified her more. (The aliens’ lack of knowledge about women, while probably laughed at by the narrative, makes a lot of their conversations about Trish and sex feel robotic and locker room-adjacent. It was a little uncomfortable, to say the least.) Xil’s surface-level feminism also made me roll my eyes, it took a little too long for that to be made fun of.

The writing style was also very janky, from a human POV being in very little of the novel. Straightforward, but not in a clinical way? It was just awkward? I know that was intentional, I still think it took away practically all the appeal of the sex scenes.

Other critiques:
1. Maybe it’s because of other works I’ve read about alien characters (that are… on the depths of Ao3, I admit), but this was not nearly as bizarre as the plot made it seem. The story seems to think it’s much freakier than it actually is— case in point: Trish’s repeated internal monologue of “I was probed by aliens, and liked it!” and other variations.
2. Wasn’t Trish first described as having dark skin??? With some kind of braid pattern??? Her cover image being a whole white woman REALLY threw me off, what even constitutes as dark lmao, but also she would have been ABYSMAL rep so idc
How can the aliens be described as genetically similar to humans, but not be made up of water or even know what it is? Surely that would provide a couple issues???
3. (Leaving this without a spoiler warning because it’s in the novella titles, I realize.) Not intending on reading the other books in this series, but the change in course difficulty (from beginner to advanced) is such a sudden jump?? Should I even be thinking about logic for a book like this, though?

But I will say that the author sounded nice in her note at the end. It crushed me a bit to leave such a low rating, but I genuinely can’t find anything redeemable. My mistake, perhaps, for venturing too far out of my comfort zone.

[Toni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Professor Katila works at The Intergalactic University. She teaches about how to do abductions. Which is considered one of the galaxy's most sacred traditions. She teaches them about the 4L's Learn. Locate. Lure. Leave.
Havel, Matar and Xil are listening to the modules. They feel they're the laughing stock of the galaxy because their attempts at abductions have gone very wrong. These lessons are to help them succeed. Now they have picked a planet...Earth...and need to figure out which section of the planet to go. To their delight after they land they find a female in need of help. So they help by abducting her.
TRISH has been on her own for a long time. She lives in a bad area but for her it's a place to stay. She goes to a woman she knows who will help her out by sending her on jobs. She takes a job to deliver an object to the spaceport. She's loaned a scooter and leaves only to be thrown off before she gets there. She's injured and believes she dying. She hears voices, males, and when she opens her eyes she sees a blue figure. Then it's lights out.
When she wakes she's on a spaceship in a med bay with three aliens. Then the introductions and explanations;"I am Xil, Captain of this ship. This is Havel, our healer, and Matar, our engineer.
You will be mate and breeder. Blunt and to the point. Her first reaction is to laugh. Then to question if her boss put her up to this. Until probing is mentioned. She slowly accepts that this is real. Then she's asked if they can get to the probing. OK Trish is a little confused because she is actually liking it. Oh my! She is turned on. The captain runs out because he can't handle seeing her and hearing her. Not because he's squeamish but because what he wants to do isn't allowed just yet.
These aliens are so focused on following the learning modules and their human's reaction that it almost becomes painful.
As each step slowly goes forward their attempts to follow the "lessons" get more intense and for Trish more hilarious.
Reader this book will have you rolling as you read about aliens learning about abducting humans. Don't try to drink or eat anything while reading or the consequences could be dire!!.

I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

The writing and editing of the ARC version of the manuscript was clean, with no typos that I found and well constructed sentences. The world building was okay, though a little too much of a spoof to be enjoyable. The characterization of the heroine and three heroes was one dimensional. The development of the romantic relationship reminded me more of erotica than a romance novel. There really wasn’t much of a romantic relationship here. The heat level was five chili peppers. The plot and pacing were fun, but the spoof element detracted somewhat from my enjoyment. It was a little overdone for my dry sense of humor. There was low angst and high stakes in this serial installment, which I typically enjoy. There was the Alien Abduction trope and the Polyandry trope in this serial installment. The world building, plot, and pacing were four stars. The characterization and development of the romantic relationship were both three stars. The short length and cliffhanger ending were both two stars. I was quite unhappy to realize that this story was a serial installment, not a complete romance novella. I therefore gave this story a combined rating of three stars. This story ended on a cliffhanger ending instead of a Happy Ever After ending, so that was a huge negative. I recommend this story to readers looking for a lighthearted erotic spoof who like cliffhanger endings. I am not interested in reading any other installments in this serial, because of the cliffhanger ending and overdone spoof element. I will not be buying myself a keeper copy of this story.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Raven9308 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was looking for a shorter funny audiobook after I had listened to some heavier ones and I was hoping this would be it but unfortunately fell flat for me and I think it was more because of the narration instead of the storyline.

I thought the idea for the story was funny, some of the jokes didnt hit home for me but some did so it was enjoyable. I was confused how it got so heated so quickly when she was so against it and was scared in the beginning. I know it’s fiction but there really wasn't a transition for me so I couldnt get sucked into the story enough. Like she didnt make them earn her trust, get to know them before she got all hot for them and wanted them to do more to her, if that makes sense. I did like how almost golden retrievers the aliens were haha. I loved the confusion they had with some earth mannerisms and sayings, them doing their “research” and the watching shows 😉 and holding hands and opening doors haha IYKYK. Again the concept was funny and I enjoyed most of it.

Narration was off for me. I usually like this couple who narrate a lot of RH books but I am not sure, they didnt help connect me to the characters. It made some jokes not land and just overall made some cringey moments for me. I don’t think they did anything particularly wrong, I just think how they narrate (they both had instances of this) made some things very OTT when it shouldn’t have been dialed down a bit. Probably more personal preference because again I normally enjoy any book they narrate.

I do have the next audiobook, will see if I want to continue listening or try reading the next one to see how it changes my perspective.

[Nina Diab · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Why are you doing this?"
"It's part of our culture!" I explained... I wanted her to see us as strong, capable males who'd given her the perfect abduction experience.

I loved this book! I had read ebooks 5-7 in this series, so it was really nice to hear the first book in this series on audiobook. I thought the story was so much fun and at times absolutely hilarious- made all the more so by the narration and the complete confidence in the alien male(s) tone. The story was narrated by Jake Bordeaux and Bridget Bordeaux. Both did a good job with their narrations, but for me Jake was the star. I loved the proud, confident tone of voice he used for a couple of the male characters- even when their understanding of human courtship culture was off. But they didn't know that and there were times they had me laughing out loud and I thought their efforts really sweet.

I was disappointed this story wasn't longer. But looking into it, I see book 2 continues their story- which I am very happy for, and do want to continue it on audiobook.

Overall: 5 stars
Performance: 5 stars
Story: 5 stars

[C. Mercie M Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

The last thing any of us want to do is to be known for our failures….and we’d generally do anything to make up for them, but a course on alien abduction??? When Xil and his crew of Kardaians, Havel & Matar, have failed at six attempts to kidnap a mate they desperately sign up for a course on alien abduction. If they cannot figure out how to kidnap their mate not only will they lose face, they’ll be mate less forever. Trish is an orphan, who’s fighting for her day to day survival, on a planet that supposedly has eradicated poverty. Little do Xil & his crew know, when they chose her to kidnap, that they will all be getting an education that cannot be obtained from an educational institution.
This spicy sci-fi romance was not only romantic & adventurous, it was truly hilarious. The way the author chose to bring the characters, setting, and story together pulls you deeply into the story. Making it easy to identify with the characters, & become emotionally attached. I can’t wait to see what happens next, I’m eagerly awaiting the 2nd book in the series to follow along on Xil & his crew’s adventures.

[Shelley G · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story was so much fun to read. These three aliens are bumbling fools who have previously failed to abduct a female mate. So they enroll in a class at alien university on how to properly abduct a female and choose to get one from earth. Trish is that female and she lives in poverty and has had an accident on the roadway so thinks she's dying. When she awake on the spaceship and interacts with the 3 aliens things don't go as planned for them. They misinterpret much of the information and bumble stumble and goof up most of the steps they try to get Trish to accept them as mates. This story made me laugh, and giggle, and smile and was just a feel good quirky story where everything happens super fast. You had to feel bad for the aliens messing everything up yet in doing so they endeared themselves to Trish anyway allowing her to see them without fear. An easy read for someone just wanting a break from life's seriousness for a little while because its kind of dumb funny. Like this would never really happen this way but its comedy.

I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Biggs_bookshelf · Rating 4 out of 5]

Who knew there was a school for alien abductions. After botching multiple kidnappings Havel, Matar and Xil join the intergalactic university to learn how not to be a disgrace. Each chapters based on a lesson which keeps the book flowing. It’s humors especially as they bumble through the lesson on probing. Over all it’s fun. It’s a silly alien space romance with slap stick humor and cross species miscommunications. It ends at a natural stopping point for the next book to begin and I think could use some finessing to smooth out some jagged edges but I’m intrigued so I’ll keep listening.

Speaking of listening. I am reviewing the audiobook version. I loved the narrators. The sound was smooth and crisp and no matter the device I never heard any issues. The narration was amazing and even with three main male characters you could always tell who was speaking. There’s great inflection and these two are fabulous with the spicy scenes! Upped the star rating in my opinion!

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Havel, Matar and Xil are taking a the course Alien Abduction for Beginners with the Intergalactic University. After several failed attempts to abduct a female they decide it is time to get it right. This is am assignment so they are being graded on each step of the process and they need to pass the course. Trish is an earthling from an impoverished area. She is on a job to do a delivery when she wrecks the borrowed scooter. Trish is rescued and healed from her injuries by Havel, Matar and Xil. When she regains consciousness the trio explain to her that they have abducted her and she will never return to earth. From that point in it is one failed attempt after another to woo her. It is very clear these aliens have a lot of wrong ideas about humans. Some of the things the aliens do in their efforts to woo Trish is down right hilarious. I found myself laughing out loud several times. I loved this book. The characters are great and they all work well together.

[Douglas Williamson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Our heroes are just trying to pass the course, but our heroine is having none of it. They are going to have to really try some creative thinking if they want to pass the course. And part of that is convincing our heroine to go along with the plan.

This is book one of the series, so no issues there.

This is something of an science fiction romance story, although it is not quite like any I have read before. The story is well written and easy to read but packs a lot of humor into the story along with all the rest. The setting is fairly simple so as not to distract from the action. The characters are well done and quite entertaining, particularly our clueless heroes. The story moves at a good pace and combines humor, romance and steam along the way. Overall, I found this to be a very entertaining story. I definitely am looking forward to more in this series.

Highly recommended.

I received a free copy of this book for review purposes

[Amy Bader · Rating 2 out of 5]

A delightful blend of comedy and cosmic adventure. The story revolves around Trish, a relatable protagonist whose ordinary life gets turned upside down when she's unexpectedly abducted by aliens. MacKinnon excels in crafting a narrative that balances humor with moments of genuine intrigue and heartwarming connections between Samantha and her otherworldly captors. The novel's strength lies in its witty dialogue, fast-paced plot, and the endearing development of both human and alien characters. As Trish navigates the challenges of understanding her captors and finding common ground with them, readers are treated to a humorous and engaging exploration of what it means to be human in the face of the unknown. A charming read that will appeal to fans of light-hearted science fiction looking for a blend of laughs and erotic moments in their next literary adventure.