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I'll Pray for You: A Christian Woman's Guide to Surviving Domestic Violence
"He's dangerous," he said."I have bruises; I know." I retorted."We can't help anymore, but I'll pray for you."I couldn't believe what I had heard. Desperate, stalked, and homeless, I had come to the home of the head elder of my church. He and his wife helped us before, even hosted my baby shower. But today, he didn't even let us in his house. Shattered, with nowhere else to go, I walked back to my car and drove away.
167 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 27, 2020
About the author
Donna Wayles
2 books2 followersDonna Wayles is a Christian wife, mom, teacher, and domestic abuse survivor. She now lives in Rhode Island with her four spoiled bunnies, Skittles the cat, her amazing husband, and daughter. When not writing, Donna likes to create scrapbooks full of happy memories. You can visit her at www.authordwayles.org
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
February 17, 2021
"God hates divorce! " Is that reason enough to keep Christian women in toxic marriages?? Do you know God enough to differentiate between Him and religion? Would you have courage enough to walk away when you feel unsafe and unloved in marriage? or like Donna Wales, you will be taken advantage of because you love God so much that other people can use God's teachings to manipulate you?? 🤔 In this book, the author Donna Wales shares how she endured all kinds of abuse at the hands of her first "Christian" husband ~Dirk! Donna was raised in a Christian family and all she ever wanted was serve the Lord! Raised in a Christian community, she aligned her goals with serving God, thus choosing a teaching career which allowed her to exclusively teach in Christian schools! While growing up, like any Christian youth, she preserved herself for a Godly man! When it happened that she met and courted Dirk, she thought it was all God's doing! Little did she know she was headed to a toxic marriage where she would be sexually, emotionally and physically abused! She ignored all the red flags because the husband had manipulated her into believing she wasn't Christian enough if she chose to disobey him, using the book of Ephisians to suit him! "Wives, obey your husbands as you obey the Lord."
Side note- How many women have fallen victim because of these teachings?? 🤔 Are we aware that it's not any man that we must submit to?? It's a man that that serves God who deserves submission and respect from a wife, for that man knows surely to obey and honor Ephisians 5:21! "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Submission ain't a 1 way street, please!! Getting back to the book...
It wasn't until a near death experience that Donna finally decided to divorce her husband! After several restraining orders, marriage cousellings and mediations, judgemts, and most importantly support from a few that cared for her and her daughter, Donna filed for a divorce! The divorce wasn't an easy decision to make as she had to put up with being cut from church because she didn't want to "fix" the marriage! Isolation from her church mates as none wanted to associate with Her! Her own mother encouraged her to "fix" her marriage as "God hates divorce!," a woman who was meant to protect her! She (mother) on numerous occasions, would ask "what did you do??" whenever Donna reported the abusive incidents! Despite most of her Christian community being against her decision, she had few friends that stayed gave her support and security from the enstraged husband! They risked their lives as despite getting multiple restraining orders, Dirk would threaten and stalk those who supported Donna and their adopted daughter!
Will Donna get to deeply know God's love?? That indeed God's plans are not to destroy her but for her peace and safety? Will she and her daughter find love and have second chance to happily after the trauma? 🤔 Read the book and find out! 😉
I enjoyed the read and would read more from the author any day!
Side note- How many women have fallen victim because of these teachings?? 🤔 Are we aware that it's not any man that we must submit to?? It's a man that that serves God who deserves submission and respect from a wife, for that man knows surely to obey and honor Ephisians 5:21! "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Submission ain't a 1 way street, please!! Getting back to the book...
It wasn't until a near death experience that Donna finally decided to divorce her husband! After several restraining orders, marriage cousellings and mediations, judgemts, and most importantly support from a few that cared for her and her daughter, Donna filed for a divorce! The divorce wasn't an easy decision to make as she had to put up with being cut from church because she didn't want to "fix" the marriage! Isolation from her church mates as none wanted to associate with Her! Her own mother encouraged her to "fix" her marriage as "God hates divorce!," a woman who was meant to protect her! She (mother) on numerous occasions, would ask "what did you do??" whenever Donna reported the abusive incidents! Despite most of her Christian community being against her decision, she had few friends that stayed gave her support and security from the enstraged husband! They risked their lives as despite getting multiple restraining orders, Dirk would threaten and stalk those who supported Donna and their adopted daughter!
Will Donna get to deeply know God's love?? That indeed God's plans are not to destroy her but for her peace and safety? Will she and her daughter find love and have second chance to happily after the trauma? 🤔 Read the book and find out! 😉
I enjoyed the read and would read more from the author any day!
September 21, 2022
Being a woman who luckily never had to endure any domestic violence of my own, but unfortunately, some of my girlfriends weren't that lucky; they have the physical and emotional scars to prove it. But, being the good Christian woman I'm becoming after starting my journey at the age of 69 after I began writing my Christian blog, I know that domestic violence is in stark opposition to God's plan for families.
Having a passion for the words of the Lord, I know that marriage gets portrayed as being a one-flesh, helping relationship in both GENESIS
1 and 2. Since domestic violence deals a lot with one's body, we find the following in 1 CORINTHIANS 7:4 [NKJV]:
"The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does."
This indicates that these two belong to each other, and as the Lord loves us, they need to love one another. While marriage is akin to the image of the Lord and the Church, domestic violence is a far cry from the Lord's character.
Those currently in a domestic violence situation should do everything possible to get out safely. Often, the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence is when they leave. Even though the victim's bodily wounds have healed, emotional and psychological scars run deep. For Christians, domestic violence can have severe spiritual implications as well.
As Christian women, experiencing any spiritual negativity might result in no longer trusting the Lord since we would wonder why He could allow such a thing to happen to one of His devoted believers. We might ask ourselves questions about the Lord: Is He trustworthy? Does He really love me? Where was He when I was being abused? It will take time for us to walk through this healing process.
As Christian women, we need to recognize that domestic violence hurts the heart of God. We need to acknowledge that the Lord is not unmoved by its victims, nor that He has abandoned them in their hour of need. Lastly, we need to understand that the Lord's desire for those involved with domestic violence—both victims and abusers—is healing and wholeness.
While a woman, being a victim of domestic violence, might be living silently in her solitude, ashamed of what she has experienced at the hands of one who is supposed to be a loving husband or soulmate. As a Christian woman, author Donna Wayles has decided to be open and to share her poignant, traumatic experience, which she is a survivor of, with other women to let them know they're not alone and to begin their healing process.
Even though the author had been a victim of church hurt, where she got ignored during the most trying times, Ms. Wayles never lost her faith in the Lord, which she also shares in the writing of her book. For wanting to help fellow victims of domestic violence by showing them that they're not alone and that they, too, can become victorious survivors of domestic violence, I've given Ms. Wayles the 5 STARS she's earned for her endeavor here.
I read this book via an Amazon KU [KINDLE Unlimited] download.
Having a passion for the words of the Lord, I know that marriage gets portrayed as being a one-flesh, helping relationship in both GENESIS
1 and 2. Since domestic violence deals a lot with one's body, we find the following in 1 CORINTHIANS 7:4 [NKJV]:
"The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does."
This indicates that these two belong to each other, and as the Lord loves us, they need to love one another. While marriage is akin to the image of the Lord and the Church, domestic violence is a far cry from the Lord's character.
Those currently in a domestic violence situation should do everything possible to get out safely. Often, the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence is when they leave. Even though the victim's bodily wounds have healed, emotional and psychological scars run deep. For Christians, domestic violence can have severe spiritual implications as well.
As Christian women, experiencing any spiritual negativity might result in no longer trusting the Lord since we would wonder why He could allow such a thing to happen to one of His devoted believers. We might ask ourselves questions about the Lord: Is He trustworthy? Does He really love me? Where was He when I was being abused? It will take time for us to walk through this healing process.
As Christian women, we need to recognize that domestic violence hurts the heart of God. We need to acknowledge that the Lord is not unmoved by its victims, nor that He has abandoned them in their hour of need. Lastly, we need to understand that the Lord's desire for those involved with domestic violence—both victims and abusers—is healing and wholeness.
While a woman, being a victim of domestic violence, might be living silently in her solitude, ashamed of what she has experienced at the hands of one who is supposed to be a loving husband or soulmate. As a Christian woman, author Donna Wayles has decided to be open and to share her poignant, traumatic experience, which she is a survivor of, with other women to let them know they're not alone and to begin their healing process.
Even though the author had been a victim of church hurt, where she got ignored during the most trying times, Ms. Wayles never lost her faith in the Lord, which she also shares in the writing of her book. For wanting to help fellow victims of domestic violence by showing them that they're not alone and that they, too, can become victorious survivors of domestic violence, I've given Ms. Wayles the 5 STARS she's earned for her endeavor here.
I read this book via an Amazon KU [KINDLE Unlimited] download.
April 30, 2021
First book that I reading and I glad it I finally start reading again. probably my English not good I wish I not misunderstanding everything on this book but really a lot of different feelings about it. first impression why I want to read this book, i have a fews book list for choose but however in the end I choose this one, is about domestic violence. you know real life no matter where we are, We are easily involved in domestic violence incidents. But of course it is not that other books are not good-looking, I will still list them in my list and arrange time to read them.
When the heroine in the story faced domestic violence, she shared her experience in this book. From a naive little girl to her marriage and childbirth, many things have happened, just like the experience of each of us, whether it is good or bad is affected by bad circumstances and man-made. In fact, there are really many different ideas when reading this book, so I wrote them down immediately while I still remember them.
As a Christian, she just wants to dedicate more to the Lord. She also shared her responsibilities as a wife, but in fact, I think if you force yourself to do something that you don’t like, isn’t that wrong? Sorry, I don’t want to say that God is bad or something, but I think it’s about my true feelings, just like why I hate "discrimination", "domestic violence" and other incidents, I think that people like this will appear in the society is because of the victims have been swallowing their weakness, and let they are bolder and continue these behaviors. I have encountered more than one violent incident in the author's world, but she has tolerated the pain again and again, and I can feel the pain. But at the same time, I am very grateful to the author for sharing everything has with everyone. It's true! This kind of incident is real and will happen everywhere! I really recommend everyone to read this book. At the same time, I also thank the author for his courageous sharing and facing. I like this book very much and I am grateful that I have chosen the first book to read.
I believe that God will still bless you, but at the same time, I also think that what you can see from this book is not only domestic violence, but some things you still have to face and solve by yourself. Just like God hates divorce, I think that many things are really in our own hands. In fact, no one of us has ever seen God. We can’t deny or agree that this is God’s idea, and I just want to follow the Lord, but Sometimes it's just because of this that I get into trouble. I think it’s better to have faith but in the same time also having your own ideas (as long as it is not excessive or exaggerated) and protect yourself. Isn’t it better?
When the heroine in the story faced domestic violence, she shared her experience in this book. From a naive little girl to her marriage and childbirth, many things have happened, just like the experience of each of us, whether it is good or bad is affected by bad circumstances and man-made. In fact, there are really many different ideas when reading this book, so I wrote them down immediately while I still remember them.
As a Christian, she just wants to dedicate more to the Lord. She also shared her responsibilities as a wife, but in fact, I think if you force yourself to do something that you don’t like, isn’t that wrong? Sorry, I don’t want to say that God is bad or something, but I think it’s about my true feelings, just like why I hate "discrimination", "domestic violence" and other incidents, I think that people like this will appear in the society is because of the victims have been swallowing their weakness, and let they are bolder and continue these behaviors. I have encountered more than one violent incident in the author's world, but she has tolerated the pain again and again, and I can feel the pain. But at the same time, I am very grateful to the author for sharing everything has with everyone. It's true! This kind of incident is real and will happen everywhere! I really recommend everyone to read this book. At the same time, I also thank the author for his courageous sharing and facing. I like this book very much and I am grateful that I have chosen the first book to read.
I believe that God will still bless you, but at the same time, I also think that what you can see from this book is not only domestic violence, but some things you still have to face and solve by yourself. Just like God hates divorce, I think that many things are really in our own hands. In fact, no one of us has ever seen God. We can’t deny or agree that this is God’s idea, and I just want to follow the Lord, but Sometimes it's just because of this that I get into trouble. I think it’s better to have faith but in the same time also having your own ideas (as long as it is not excessive or exaggerated) and protect yourself. Isn’t it better?
April 18, 2021
I’LL PRAY FOR YOU
A Christian Women’s Guide to Surviving Domestic Violence
By Donna Wayles
This book is a true story about surviving domestic violence and judgment from her family and the church. More than a guide to surviving domestic violence, it is a book that can help someone else realize that their relationship is abusive, which is equally important.
The story begins with Donna’s Christian faith and being God’s faithful servant. As a young girl, she goes on missionary trips to Hawaii and falls in love with its beauty. Eventually, she lands a job as a teacher for a Christian school in Hawaii that she loves and finds very fulfilling.
Before long, she meets Dirk, and their courtship begins. He is in the Navy, and after a swift romance, they start married life living on the base. She believes him to be a good Christian man and strives to be a good Christian wife for him, which according to her faith, means submitting to him in all things as the head of their family.
Immediately Dirk begins requiring her to submit to him sexually five or six times a day, but his requests don’t match her biblical idea of the marriage bed. His definition of a married sex life degrades her into a sex object to be used, not a loving man making love to his wife.
Next, he begins controlling every aspect of her life. She could not answer the phone unless he told her to. She could not open the door unless he told her to. She could not leave the house.
Something was wrong, but she didn’t believe there was anything she could do with her Christian principles on the line. Through counseling, she realized that she was in an abusive relationship. She didn’t understand that Dirk was not fulfilling his part as the head of the family. He did not love her as Christ loved the church, and he was an abusive husband.
Without revealing too much, Donna does get her happy ending. "I’ll Pray For You" is a good read, especially for those trapped in an abusive relationship. Abuse can take many forms. It can be physical, verbal, emotional, and controlling. I appreciate the author for sharing her painful story to help others.
I want to thank Booktasters and the author for granting me the opportunity to review this book.
A Christian Women’s Guide to Surviving Domestic Violence
By Donna Wayles
This book is a true story about surviving domestic violence and judgment from her family and the church. More than a guide to surviving domestic violence, it is a book that can help someone else realize that their relationship is abusive, which is equally important.
The story begins with Donna’s Christian faith and being God’s faithful servant. As a young girl, she goes on missionary trips to Hawaii and falls in love with its beauty. Eventually, she lands a job as a teacher for a Christian school in Hawaii that she loves and finds very fulfilling.
Before long, she meets Dirk, and their courtship begins. He is in the Navy, and after a swift romance, they start married life living on the base. She believes him to be a good Christian man and strives to be a good Christian wife for him, which according to her faith, means submitting to him in all things as the head of their family.
Immediately Dirk begins requiring her to submit to him sexually five or six times a day, but his requests don’t match her biblical idea of the marriage bed. His definition of a married sex life degrades her into a sex object to be used, not a loving man making love to his wife.
Next, he begins controlling every aspect of her life. She could not answer the phone unless he told her to. She could not open the door unless he told her to. She could not leave the house.
Something was wrong, but she didn’t believe there was anything she could do with her Christian principles on the line. Through counseling, she realized that she was in an abusive relationship. She didn’t understand that Dirk was not fulfilling his part as the head of the family. He did not love her as Christ loved the church, and he was an abusive husband.
Without revealing too much, Donna does get her happy ending. "I’ll Pray For You" is a good read, especially for those trapped in an abusive relationship. Abuse can take many forms. It can be physical, verbal, emotional, and controlling. I appreciate the author for sharing her painful story to help others.
I want to thank Booktasters and the author for granting me the opportunity to review this book.
February 25, 2021
Thank you to Booktasters and the author for sending me this copy.
The book takes us on a journey of Donna through her life. College, failed relationships, friendships, loss, missionary work, job search, health issues and so much more.
I especially liked the part in chapter 3, where they were discussing how to be "a proper wife", and that she has to be sweet so that a man would like her. And the "adution" for Marth's son. The way the author described that whole part felt so real and emotional. The entire book is laced with the expectations put on women, how we should be a perfect wife and obey their husbands and to please them. "Follow their lead." For example, how when Donna told her own mother that she wants to get a divorce, her first reaction was "What did you do?", it goes to show how our society programmes women to feel like it's always their fault or that we are never enough.
I can't begin to imagine the amount of pain and horror that Donna had to go through with Dirk, it's awful and I'm thankful that she chose to tell her story so it can empower other women to stand up for themselves. I loved how the author went in details about how she "escaped" his situation, I think it will be very helpful for other women as well and how she didn't sugar coat the reality.
My favorite quote from the book is “Jesus loves you, but sometimes His children don’t act so loving.” These words are just so comforting. I loved how the author's relationship with God changed throughout the book and how it developed. It's comforting to know that someone else is struggling with the same thoughts you have.
The book is so rich with emotions and events that shaped the author's life, it's very well written, it makes you want to turn the page to know what happens next. It's filled with passion and pain and it travels over to the reader.
The book takes us on a journey of Donna through her life. College, failed relationships, friendships, loss, missionary work, job search, health issues and so much more.
I especially liked the part in chapter 3, where they were discussing how to be "a proper wife", and that she has to be sweet so that a man would like her. And the "adution" for Marth's son. The way the author described that whole part felt so real and emotional. The entire book is laced with the expectations put on women, how we should be a perfect wife and obey their husbands and to please them. "Follow their lead." For example, how when Donna told her own mother that she wants to get a divorce, her first reaction was "What did you do?", it goes to show how our society programmes women to feel like it's always their fault or that we are never enough.
I can't begin to imagine the amount of pain and horror that Donna had to go through with Dirk, it's awful and I'm thankful that she chose to tell her story so it can empower other women to stand up for themselves. I loved how the author went in details about how she "escaped" his situation, I think it will be very helpful for other women as well and how she didn't sugar coat the reality.
My favorite quote from the book is “Jesus loves you, but sometimes His children don’t act so loving.” These words are just so comforting. I loved how the author's relationship with God changed throughout the book and how it developed. It's comforting to know that someone else is struggling with the same thoughts you have.
The book is so rich with emotions and events that shaped the author's life, it's very well written, it makes you want to turn the page to know what happens next. It's filled with passion and pain and it travels over to the reader.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 16, 2020
In the novel “I’ll Pray for You” by Donna Wales, a young lady’s turbulent life is scrutinized thru the eyes of her church, family, job, and friends. She was raised witnessing her relatives become ministers and never question the Christian values. Her life seemed to be on track teaching at a Christian school, marrying Dirk, being active with the Navy wives, and heavily involved with their local church. She would be wrong. This journey thru health issues, depression, addictions, and abuse would make her question everything. The biggest conflict was believing she must always obey the husband, even if it meant enduring physical injuries, as her church community would turn a blind eye insisting divorce was never the answer. Now she must decide to stay or save herself and child from a life-threatening situation. The author gives a realistic insight to domestic violence involving a military abuser, a victim’s denial, and desperation. Donna Wales’ options for escaping these dire situations show educated solutions. This story is an emotional roller coaster as the reader feels compassion for the main character and desires to pull her to safety. I highly recommend this novel and believe it will help others experiencing domestic violence to realize stop keeping the secret…they aren’t alone.
March 8, 2021
This book made me believe in second chances. It will make you realise the seriousness of domestic violence or the more accurately termed "marital rape". It has lead to homelessness, shootings, substance abuses and why the #metoo movement resonated so deeply and it's so hard to trust or ask for help from our near and dear ones..!!
It was clear she needed help or someone to just talk to, make her understand the situation. But everyone rejected her, as if it was her mistake, even her mother doubted and blamed her...I was so disgusted with her so called 'church friends' especially pastor!! I mean how could they ignore her misery. Sad
Being a good and faithful Christian wife she tried so hard to make her marriage work with Dirk; seriously I salute her and the trust she had in God. She never gave up and stood for herself and little Ally.
Donna is a courageous woman who could muster enough strength to bring her story in front of everyone, I am sure it will so many suffering from similar situations. The story was so gripping it was like going through the trauma myself.
This real life story teaches us that there is always light at the end of a tunnel.
I will be thinking about this book for a long time and pray that Donna is happy and free of any thoughts of her previous life.
It was clear she needed help or someone to just talk to, make her understand the situation. But everyone rejected her, as if it was her mistake, even her mother doubted and blamed her...I was so disgusted with her so called 'church friends' especially pastor!! I mean how could they ignore her misery. Sad
Being a good and faithful Christian wife she tried so hard to make her marriage work with Dirk; seriously I salute her and the trust she had in God. She never gave up and stood for herself and little Ally.
Donna is a courageous woman who could muster enough strength to bring her story in front of everyone, I am sure it will so many suffering from similar situations. The story was so gripping it was like going through the trauma myself.
This real life story teaches us that there is always light at the end of a tunnel.
I will be thinking about this book for a long time and pray that Donna is happy and free of any thoughts of her previous life.
March 4, 2021
The title suggests a Guide to Surviving while the content is actually a personal story of a domestic violence victim. I don't think this serves as a guide for all victims and I didn't find it empowering for other victims to take the same choices especially that the law in this regard is not the same in every place. Domestic violence can affect all women from any background and I am sure there are better guides to deal with the situation; but the writer here was focusing on a Christian woman struggling with making the divorce decision. In my personal opinion I think even if churches don't accept divorce, believers should not reject and exclude their brothers and sisters that way (Judge not, that ye be not judged-Matthew 1:7 KJV). I found it so sad in this story when the loving people were no longer loving, the supporting system was no longer supportive and that she will have to deal with social exclusion after surviving domestic violence. I will pray for you!
March 29, 2021
What a powerful story!
I marvel at the strength of a survivor, of anyone who has lived through high levels of trauma and continues to get up and keep going. It blew me away to see the author keep her faith despite all that had occurred.
I highly recommend this read to everyone!
I noticed a couple of times the same few sentences would repeat from earlier in the story. My only note would be to change that up! It had me feeling like I must have accidentally skipped back to an earlier section, and as I kept reading I realized it was just a repetition of what had been said before.
Overall, an amazing read!
I marvel at the strength of a survivor, of anyone who has lived through high levels of trauma and continues to get up and keep going. It blew me away to see the author keep her faith despite all that had occurred.
I highly recommend this read to everyone!
I noticed a couple of times the same few sentences would repeat from earlier in the story. My only note would be to change that up! It had me feeling like I must have accidentally skipped back to an earlier section, and as I kept reading I realized it was just a repetition of what had been said before.
Overall, an amazing read!
March 29, 2021
Phew! Such a heart pounding read. I could understand and relate to how Donna felt throughout the story as I myself had experienced such relationship in which I always felt bad about myself and questioned my worth. Abusers will never know and understand the damage they had caused us, the trauma we needed to face throughout our whole life. Somehow this book had opened my eyes to not give up and to keep believing in love. Sometimes the person who came later in our life could probably be the best for us. Don’t ever lose hope. Thank you Booktasters for the book!
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