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Educating
My Memoir
This book is my memoir—a memoir that for several years now, I have known I would one day write. But let’s set the record straight right here. Part, but only part, of the impetus for writing my memoir at this time, is the publishing of our daughter’s book, Educated.
I want to tell the story of my life as I really lived it. I want my grandchildren to know who their grandmother is and was, and I want to be a force for good in their lives. Also, I feel a compelling desire to shine a light of accuracy on homeschooling, herbal medicine, and the living of a conservative and Christian way of life.
Self Publishing
There are significant differences between self-publishing a book and submitting a manuscript to a publisher. One important difference is that when an author signs with a publisher, the author may be relinquishing at least some control over the content of their book. Final editorial decisions often rest with the publisher, even if those decisions are contrary to the author’s wishes. The motivations of the author and publisher may not always be aligned.
My Dream
The educational changes being implemented as a result of Covid-19 are changing perspectives about education. Parents everywhere are now carrying more of the responsibility of educating their children, and they are discovering how challenging— and how rewarding—it is to interact with your children in this way day in and day out. I see parents having the same desires for their children’s educations that we had in our day.
I also see a great deal of frustration as families try to ascertain what will work best for them. I tell these harried parents that filling in for the teacher temporarily is not the same as settling into homeschooling as a way of life and that it will get easier as they proceed. I feel a great deal of admiration for them as they take it on, adjusting and making the best of challenging situations.
I hope that this book in some small way will be encouraging to those struggling to pioneer a new way of educating their children.
This book is my memoir—a memoir that for several years now, I have known I would one day write. But let’s set the record straight right here. Part, but only part, of the impetus for writing my memoir at this time, is the publishing of our daughter’s book, Educated.
I want to tell the story of my life as I really lived it. I want my grandchildren to know who their grandmother is and was, and I want to be a force for good in their lives. Also, I feel a compelling desire to shine a light of accuracy on homeschooling, herbal medicine, and the living of a conservative and Christian way of life.
Self Publishing
There are significant differences between self-publishing a book and submitting a manuscript to a publisher. One important difference is that when an author signs with a publisher, the author may be relinquishing at least some control over the content of their book. Final editorial decisions often rest with the publisher, even if those decisions are contrary to the author’s wishes. The motivations of the author and publisher may not always be aligned.
My Dream
The educational changes being implemented as a result of Covid-19 are changing perspectives about education. Parents everywhere are now carrying more of the responsibility of educating their children, and they are discovering how challenging— and how rewarding—it is to interact with your children in this way day in and day out. I see parents having the same desires for their children’s educations that we had in our day.
I also see a great deal of frustration as families try to ascertain what will work best for them. I tell these harried parents that filling in for the teacher temporarily is not the same as settling into homeschooling as a way of life and that it will get easier as they proceed. I feel a great deal of admiration for them as they take it on, adjusting and making the best of challenging situations.
I hope that this book in some small way will be encouraging to those struggling to pioneer a new way of educating their children.
327 pages, Hardcover
Published January 1, 2020
36 people are currently reading
1325 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 130 reviews
July 1, 2022
I am disappointed that LaRee chose to be dishonest and gaslight much of what her children endured. This might not have bothered me so much if she had just wanted to write her own story, but she worked so hard to discredit Tara by rewriting history. Of course there are inconvenient details we all exclude when we tell our story, and I do believe that is fair in a memoir. However, when you dismiss, whitewash, or ignore your own mistakes while invalidating somebody else, I get crabby. As a mother, I would also feel protective of a child, like Travis, who made many mistakes in his youth. What I do not comprehend is protecting that child at the expense of the victim. I happen to be Tyler's wife. I was a member of the family during many of the events described in both Educated and Educating. Rather than drag out details of family events, I will just say that I was physically present in the room when Travis treated his girlfriends in despicable ways. LaRee had a pathological way of excusing his behaviors and calling him her "Robin Hood" and the one who takes in "the girls with broken wings." I confess I only read part of LaRee's book because the parts I did read were so disturbing and dishonest, I needed to set it aside to maintain my own sanity. Reading her version triggered too many painful memories of my attempts to form relationships with Val and LaRee. Thus, her version did not surprise me, because I have experienced the same gaslighting in my own attempts to interact with the family. To step into Val and LaRee's world is to lose touch with reality, which is why I no longer do that. I hesitated to write reviews, but in the end, I felt the need to speak truth, defend the victim, and give hope to those who might be in similar situations.
LaRee attempted to couch her story in the claim that this was a book for her grandchildren, to teach others about homeopathics, and to teach others about homeschooling. If you glance at the title and the cover, it's pretty easy to grasp her intent and see through the smoke screen. Ignoring abuse does not make it go away. Telling the victim that if they can't accuse their abuser to their face, they were clearly never abused is ridiculous and cruel. Although some therapists behave in unethical ways and suggest a client was abused when they were not, most therapists do nothing like that. I know LaRee's cult of natural medicine folks will defend her, but I would hope those who have experience with dysfunctional families and abuse will see the truth.
LaRee attempted to couch her story in the claim that this was a book for her grandchildren, to teach others about homeopathics, and to teach others about homeschooling. If you glance at the title and the cover, it's pretty easy to grasp her intent and see through the smoke screen. Ignoring abuse does not make it go away. Telling the victim that if they can't accuse their abuser to their face, they were clearly never abused is ridiculous and cruel. Although some therapists behave in unethical ways and suggest a client was abused when they were not, most therapists do nothing like that. I know LaRee's cult of natural medicine folks will defend her, but I would hope those who have experience with dysfunctional families and abuse will see the truth.
December 21, 2020
Probably THEE most self righteous thing I’ve ever encountered. By the end of page #123 I had to set the book down and mentally gag a bit. It is a memoir of how fantastic and knowledgeable she is. It’s about how her life has blessed the lives of everyone around her. It was a thick clouded cover of her and her husband’s “perfection”. There was nothing real about it. Self righteous is the only summary I could give it.
I think of myself as a pretty great mother, and a dedicated loving Christian, but I also have endless faults down both those paths.
But, just so you’re aware.... When you read this book, the only faults you will read about is their self righteous pride and not because she wrote about them but because it’s blatantly obvious.
Pg 32: “I hope my sharing of such emotional reactions brings home to you the lasting impact that abusive and manipulative behaviors can have on ones psyche.” -She was talking about having a boyfriend who was obsessed with her and was manipulative and how she couldn’t escape it. Which only showed to me how she easily fell entwined with someone like her now-husband, Val. One of the cringiest things to read was her trying to explain why being engaged before Val served a mission was God given.
Then the next page she mentions how her and her husband often didn’t take the middle of the road because they’re different. Home schooling isn’t that big of a deal. HOW they homeschooled was. The kids worked in a junk yard and MAYBE learned something in the evenings.
Wow and I loved the part where Tara told her mother how impressed she was that she only gave her time and service to others and never once thought of herself. (She definitely thought of herself when she wrote that line in the book... AND THE WHOLE BOOK FOR THAT MATTER).
Her mentioning that Tara Did work once for a couple weeks on a college break, but not mentioning that she was forced to do hard labor in the junk yard since a young age, (even getting seriously injured when she was young because of her father’s neglect and irresponsibility).
So so so many pages of the book was spent putting her husband in a bright perfect light of almost being a prophet. It was almost like he had told her to set the story straight and she had made sure to please him perfectly.
I thought Tara was very classy with how she wrote and handled difficult and sensitive situations. I loved how she didn’t use Her abusing brother’s real name in her book, but then Laree comes out with a book and throws him under the bus by giving his name. Laree even called him “intimidating... but a good man”. It was such hogwash. All of it. I wanted to shake the mother so she could wake up from her fake clouded perfect life to see how awful the situation was. It’s called reality. Laree and her husband Val want so desperately to be seen as perfect, if there was anything similar in both differing books, THAT’S the only thing that was consistent. They judge others harshly and see themselves as perfection.
I can’t wrap my head around this book. It was gross. It felt gross reading it. She should have never written it and just left Tara’s story alone, her and Val looked better that way. It’s much worse now. So cringey.
Can you tell from my scrambled review how upsetting this book was for me?
As a faithful member of their church, I can understand why Tara left it. So depressing.
PS: I’m a community librarian. I thought this book was going to fly off the shelves. We bought 2. And guess what? No one will touch it. The people who LOVED Educated want nothing to do with this book. They won’t touch it with a 10 foot pole. It’s been interesting.
I think of myself as a pretty great mother, and a dedicated loving Christian, but I also have endless faults down both those paths.
But, just so you’re aware.... When you read this book, the only faults you will read about is their self righteous pride and not because she wrote about them but because it’s blatantly obvious.
Pg 32: “I hope my sharing of such emotional reactions brings home to you the lasting impact that abusive and manipulative behaviors can have on ones psyche.” -She was talking about having a boyfriend who was obsessed with her and was manipulative and how she couldn’t escape it. Which only showed to me how she easily fell entwined with someone like her now-husband, Val. One of the cringiest things to read was her trying to explain why being engaged before Val served a mission was God given.
Then the next page she mentions how her and her husband often didn’t take the middle of the road because they’re different. Home schooling isn’t that big of a deal. HOW they homeschooled was. The kids worked in a junk yard and MAYBE learned something in the evenings.
Wow and I loved the part where Tara told her mother how impressed she was that she only gave her time and service to others and never once thought of herself. (She definitely thought of herself when she wrote that line in the book... AND THE WHOLE BOOK FOR THAT MATTER).
Her mentioning that Tara Did work once for a couple weeks on a college break, but not mentioning that she was forced to do hard labor in the junk yard since a young age, (even getting seriously injured when she was young because of her father’s neglect and irresponsibility).
So so so many pages of the book was spent putting her husband in a bright perfect light of almost being a prophet. It was almost like he had told her to set the story straight and she had made sure to please him perfectly.
I thought Tara was very classy with how she wrote and handled difficult and sensitive situations. I loved how she didn’t use Her abusing brother’s real name in her book, but then Laree comes out with a book and throws him under the bus by giving his name. Laree even called him “intimidating... but a good man”. It was such hogwash. All of it. I wanted to shake the mother so she could wake up from her fake clouded perfect life to see how awful the situation was. It’s called reality. Laree and her husband Val want so desperately to be seen as perfect, if there was anything similar in both differing books, THAT’S the only thing that was consistent. They judge others harshly and see themselves as perfection.
I can’t wrap my head around this book. It was gross. It felt gross reading it. She should have never written it and just left Tara’s story alone, her and Val looked better that way. It’s much worse now. So cringey.
Can you tell from my scrambled review how upsetting this book was for me?
As a faithful member of their church, I can understand why Tara left it. So depressing.
PS: I’m a community librarian. I thought this book was going to fly off the shelves. We bought 2. And guess what? No one will touch it. The people who LOVED Educated want nothing to do with this book. They won’t touch it with a 10 foot pole. It’s been interesting.
December 7, 2020
I would give this zero stars if that were possible. The title of the book is ironic given the disturbing lack of literacy of the writer. It is hard to follow this book given that it is not written in any recognizable or accepted language. If anything, this book provides proof that some (unduly demanding) may require in order to believe that everything that Tara Westover described in her acclaimed Memoir _Educated_ describes actual events.
Read only for the purpose of demonstrating to others how important an _actual_ education is, and as a cautionary tale for those who contemplate that it might be possible to be an actualized human being without a formal education.
I would feel sorry for this illiterate white supremacist if there were any small positive redeeming quality about her. Unfortunately, as hard as I tried to find something good to say about this book or the author, I could not. Save yourself the headache and the depression. Yes, these are the folks who voted for Trump.
Read only for the purpose of demonstrating to others how important an _actual_ education is, and as a cautionary tale for those who contemplate that it might be possible to be an actualized human being without a formal education.
I would feel sorry for this illiterate white supremacist if there were any small positive redeeming quality about her. Unfortunately, as hard as I tried to find something good to say about this book or the author, I could not. Save yourself the headache and the depression. Yes, these are the folks who voted for Trump.
January 7, 2021
A narcissistic rant about rewriting an abused woman's history. If you want your children to write positive childhood stories about you maybe you should try giving them good memories. Nothing but gaslighting an abuse victim and manipulation of the audience to impose a sense of self importance. Don't bother giving this woman the attention and sales numbers to make her feel like she has won, because that is the only reason this book exists.
February 4, 2021
I read this so you don't have to! DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME! FYI, I have a habit of giving at least a 2-star rating to any book that has consistently correct grammar and syntax. 1-star ratings are reserved for the absolutely horrific train wrecks that are books like these; it is probably no coincidence that the one-star ratings I give tend to be self-published, as this one was.
I should say that I do not know the Westovers personally. You can probably already tell that, since I gave the book an honest rating, and as far as I can tell the only 5-star ratings this book has are from direct relatives. I was late to the game and *finally* read Educated, by Tara Westover, a few weeks ago. Loved it. I immediately took to the Google to see where everyone was now, since the book has been out several years. That's where I found the mother's clap-back, published October 2020. I couldn't bring myself to buy it new, obviously, so I found a used copy and waited patiently for its arrival.
This book is a very open attempt to rehabilitate the Westover parents from the beating they believe their reputation has taken, not just from their youngest daughter's memoir, but from their own respective families (especially her parents and siblings), from local government, from the local school system, from anyone envious of their "great faith" and "intelligence." Almost all of the book, where it is possible to discern a theme in the rambling and non-linear structure, is about the wonderful, perfect family the Westovers were/are, how they have discovered miraculous topical cures for internal injuries and broken bones, how they did an *incredible* job educating their children because they are so educated and curious themselves. Like I said, I give a book 2 stars just for having correct grammar, and this book did not get 2 stars. Towards the very end Ms. Westover talks for a while about how much she hated the play Pygmalion, contrasting it with My Fair Lady (???). As if the one is not the musical version of the other?
I read this hoping to learn something new. The structure is so irregular, the writing is so vague, and the points are so entirely incomprehensible, I cannot say I learned much at all. Without comment or, apparently, any real reflection, LaRee's book revealed the real names of Tara Westover's siblings whose names had been changed, so if you want to know the true name of the abusive brother or the abused sister, they're in the book. The book is so full of contradictions and obvious gaslighting that even with perfect grammar it would have been apparent the kind of "education" the author has, given what she expects the reader to believe.
I should say that I do not know the Westovers personally. You can probably already tell that, since I gave the book an honest rating, and as far as I can tell the only 5-star ratings this book has are from direct relatives. I was late to the game and *finally* read Educated, by Tara Westover, a few weeks ago. Loved it. I immediately took to the Google to see where everyone was now, since the book has been out several years. That's where I found the mother's clap-back, published October 2020. I couldn't bring myself to buy it new, obviously, so I found a used copy and waited patiently for its arrival.
This book is a very open attempt to rehabilitate the Westover parents from the beating they believe their reputation has taken, not just from their youngest daughter's memoir, but from their own respective families (especially her parents and siblings), from local government, from the local school system, from anyone envious of their "great faith" and "intelligence." Almost all of the book, where it is possible to discern a theme in the rambling and non-linear structure, is about the wonderful, perfect family the Westovers were/are, how they have discovered miraculous topical cures for internal injuries and broken bones, how they did an *incredible* job educating their children because they are so educated and curious themselves. Like I said, I give a book 2 stars just for having correct grammar, and this book did not get 2 stars. Towards the very end Ms. Westover talks for a while about how much she hated the play Pygmalion, contrasting it with My Fair Lady (???). As if the one is not the musical version of the other?
I read this hoping to learn something new. The structure is so irregular, the writing is so vague, and the points are so entirely incomprehensible, I cannot say I learned much at all. Without comment or, apparently, any real reflection, LaRee's book revealed the real names of Tara Westover's siblings whose names had been changed, so if you want to know the true name of the abusive brother or the abused sister, they're in the book. The book is so full of contradictions and obvious gaslighting that even with perfect grammar it would have been apparent the kind of "education" the author has, given what she expects the reader to believe.
January 7, 2021
I read her daughter's book Educated & this book is so obviously the mother's attempt to try & discredit her daughter & I saw right through it. Poorly written too. No wonder she had to self publish.
January 7, 2021
Ah. Gaslighting and narcissism at its finest. What a terrible book and how shameful of you to disregard your own child like that. Failed parent.
January 7, 2021
If it were possible, I’d give a zero stars. This is the most dishonest book I’ve read in a while. I wish I didn’t waste my time on it. This woman is trying to erase facts and truth and gaslight what her children have experienced, it’s toxic and abusive. This is clearly the work of a narcissist abuser. -0/10
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December 10, 2020Bruh, you can't be serious XD.
January 7, 2021
Don’t waste your time on this. Obviously jealous of her daughter’s success. How do you title a book that close to hers? Because you’re a narcissistic “mother”. Tara’s book is amazing, even if I am LDS and went to BYU Idaho. How dare you?
February 26, 2021
I wanted to read this after reading Tara’s book because I believe every story has two sides. The reasoning for self publishing says it all. I can not imagine that any publisher in their right mind would allow such a narrative to go unresearched. If you are unsure of the abuse that took place in the Westover home, read this book to further instill the truth. Publishers do their research. Tara is backed by that. LaRee’s explanation of why she did not use a publisher screams to her fear of exposure and inability to prove her work. LaRee compares parenting to training dogs with a pat on her own back for what a good dog trainer she is. Her choice of words used to protect Travis are devastating and painful to read. Lacing quotes throughout her book from Dr. Seuss, she manages to add a playfulness to her delusions, unabashed by her clear lack of introspection. Touting the perfection of her own childhood makes things even more gut wrenching to read, as she seemingly had the opportunities in life that she did not afford her own children. There is no proof greater than this book, unless you are delusional yourself, that Tara exposed the truth about the Westovers. The gaslighting her parents provide in this read will have me shaking for the rest of the week.
It’s bad. It’s really, really bad and a complete waste of money.
It’s bad. It’s really, really bad and a complete waste of money.
January 7, 2021
Terrible. Absolutely terrible. To attempt to discredit your daughter's experiences for your pride? You should be ashamed.
October 13, 2021
I would like to preface this by saying that I'm not a review-writing guy, especially a negative review guy. Not everyone is going to like the same thing, and that's a good thing.
That being said -- I am hugely disappointed that LaRee would go through these lengths to discredit and re-paint the life that Tara lived. I cannot stress this enough -- do not read this book unless you are looking for a whitewashed version of the Westover's life that paints LaRee and her husband basically as modern-day prophets and miracle workers.
If LaRee is reading this -- you should be ashamed of yourself. Tara needed your protection, and then your support, and you denied her both of those things. Not only did you deny her those things, you lied and manipulated the family against Tara, and then had the audacity to write this false history to discredit your own daughter. I implore you to see the error in your ways -- God deals in truth. If you have to fabricate this much of your story, you are not walking God's path.
To fellow readers -- please don't waste your time reading this unless you are looking for a case study on self-delusion and visions of grandeur. Dr. Tara Westover's book Educated is beautifully written, honest, and worth your time.
That being said -- I am hugely disappointed that LaRee would go through these lengths to discredit and re-paint the life that Tara lived. I cannot stress this enough -- do not read this book unless you are looking for a whitewashed version of the Westover's life that paints LaRee and her husband basically as modern-day prophets and miracle workers.
If LaRee is reading this -- you should be ashamed of yourself. Tara needed your protection, and then your support, and you denied her both of those things. Not only did you deny her those things, you lied and manipulated the family against Tara, and then had the audacity to write this false history to discredit your own daughter. I implore you to see the error in your ways -- God deals in truth. If you have to fabricate this much of your story, you are not walking God's path.
To fellow readers -- please don't waste your time reading this unless you are looking for a case study on self-delusion and visions of grandeur. Dr. Tara Westover's book Educated is beautifully written, honest, and worth your time.
January 21, 2021
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
In this corner, weighing in at 71,000 reviews, we have Tara Westover's 'Educated.' (crowd roars) AND...in this corner, weighing in at 13 reviews, we have Tara's mama, LaRee Westover's 'Educating.' (a pity wooo in the back of the room)
But seriously, did you all know that Mama Westover clapped back with her own memoir?
First, you should know that I agree with some of the things that the Westover's believe when it comes to homeopathy and energy work. I'm an advocate and lover of said healing modalities, so I found that part of this book interesting and relatable. I also believe that these parents were a little dramatized as "survivalists" in 'Educated.' It felt more like a publishing buzz word. I don't necessarily see them this way, and this book shows quite the opposite. Funny that now in 2021, a lot of you have got to experience the joys or terrors of being homeschool teachers, so maybe we all can consider ourselves "survivalists." Yay.
Now to the nitty-gritty.
One of my favorite courses that I took in college was dedicated to the study of memoirs. I find it truly fascinating that one person's account of an event can be completely different from another person's perspective of the same event. We studied Holocaust literature that recounted a prison camp revolt where the prisoners stated that there were three explosions in an attempt to blow up a crematorium. However, historians who have studied this attempt to overthrow the prison stated that only one explosion took place. Why do I recount this to you now? Because it BEGS the question: if someone's reality and perception of an event differs from historical accuracy, does it make it any less true or real to the reality of the person who experienced said incident? Do we discount what was perceived and experienced in the mind's eye of the witnesses or always side with cold, hard facts? Perhaps in the trauma of overturning their Nazi guards, prisoners in the frenzy of everything did traumatically experience three explosions or echoes of the first explosion. That is their reality. That is their truth/memoir. Sorry, I tend to geek out on this subject. But, because this is LaRee Westover's truth/memoir, do we hold it up against Tara's and only find fault? In reading this book, did I, as a reader, find her truth to be less believable than her daughters? Yes. But I don't discount that LaRee's perception of events recounted in both of these books is any less "true" than Tara's recounting of occurrences.
What you will find in this book is a wife that is almost blindingly loyal to her husband. If he can do no wrong in LaRee's eyes, how do we consolidate what was written about him in Tara's book? I don't think we, as reading observers, can solve this one. Another reviewer used the word "gaslighting" when it comes to LaRee addressing Tara's abuse at her brother's hands. I would say that I agree with that statement. LaRee's perception is that the idea of abuse was planted into Tara's mind by her therapist; whom she was seeing while attending university. I think that this is an injustice to anyone who opens up to a loved one about the abuse they've experienced. Once again, it's her daughter's perception of her reality, and it should not be invalidated by her mother saying a therapist was trying to manipulate her to turn against her family. Just my two cents.
My word, apparently I have a lot of thoughts, but for the sake of time and typing, I'm going to leave it up to you to read the book and come back and discuss it with me in the comments! Always nice to have an online book club to bookworm out with! Any book that makes me think and type this much gets 2.5 stars.
In this corner, weighing in at 71,000 reviews, we have Tara Westover's 'Educated.' (crowd roars) AND...in this corner, weighing in at 13 reviews, we have Tara's mama, LaRee Westover's 'Educating.' (a pity wooo in the back of the room)
But seriously, did you all know that Mama Westover clapped back with her own memoir?
First, you should know that I agree with some of the things that the Westover's believe when it comes to homeopathy and energy work. I'm an advocate and lover of said healing modalities, so I found that part of this book interesting and relatable. I also believe that these parents were a little dramatized as "survivalists" in 'Educated.' It felt more like a publishing buzz word. I don't necessarily see them this way, and this book shows quite the opposite. Funny that now in 2021, a lot of you have got to experience the joys or terrors of being homeschool teachers, so maybe we all can consider ourselves "survivalists." Yay.
Now to the nitty-gritty.
One of my favorite courses that I took in college was dedicated to the study of memoirs. I find it truly fascinating that one person's account of an event can be completely different from another person's perspective of the same event. We studied Holocaust literature that recounted a prison camp revolt where the prisoners stated that there were three explosions in an attempt to blow up a crematorium. However, historians who have studied this attempt to overthrow the prison stated that only one explosion took place. Why do I recount this to you now? Because it BEGS the question: if someone's reality and perception of an event differs from historical accuracy, does it make it any less true or real to the reality of the person who experienced said incident? Do we discount what was perceived and experienced in the mind's eye of the witnesses or always side with cold, hard facts? Perhaps in the trauma of overturning their Nazi guards, prisoners in the frenzy of everything did traumatically experience three explosions or echoes of the first explosion. That is their reality. That is their truth/memoir. Sorry, I tend to geek out on this subject. But, because this is LaRee Westover's truth/memoir, do we hold it up against Tara's and only find fault? In reading this book, did I, as a reader, find her truth to be less believable than her daughters? Yes. But I don't discount that LaRee's perception of events recounted in both of these books is any less "true" than Tara's recounting of occurrences.
What you will find in this book is a wife that is almost blindingly loyal to her husband. If he can do no wrong in LaRee's eyes, how do we consolidate what was written about him in Tara's book? I don't think we, as reading observers, can solve this one. Another reviewer used the word "gaslighting" when it comes to LaRee addressing Tara's abuse at her brother's hands. I would say that I agree with that statement. LaRee's perception is that the idea of abuse was planted into Tara's mind by her therapist; whom she was seeing while attending university. I think that this is an injustice to anyone who opens up to a loved one about the abuse they've experienced. Once again, it's her daughter's perception of her reality, and it should not be invalidated by her mother saying a therapist was trying to manipulate her to turn against her family. Just my two cents.
My word, apparently I have a lot of thoughts, but for the sake of time and typing, I'm going to leave it up to you to read the book and come back and discuss it with me in the comments! Always nice to have an online book club to bookworm out with! Any book that makes me think and type this much gets 2.5 stars.
January 7, 2021
Terrible book. I couldn’t even read this thing. It’s apparently self published as you can tell by the aweful grammar. It’s obviously written by a narcissist that just couldn’t stand that her daughter made something of herself after she spent her entire life forcing her into hard labor in the junkyard and mistreating her. You will probably never even meet those “grandkids” of yours. Utterly pathetic. I’m glad Tara got away from her childhood trauma. Most don’t. Please don’t waste your time on this garbage “book”.
January 7, 2021
I would give this zero stars if I could. The narcissism and gaslighting contained is astounding.
March 29, 2021
Pitiful. The very definition of gaslighting can be found within the pages of this book. Furthermore, it is utterly disgraceful this mother is trying to piggyback on the success of her daughter's book "Educated" to gain monetary profit and undermine her daughter's experience.
March 14, 2021
Book review of LaRee Westover‘s memoir “Educating” by Michelle McCarten
January 3, 2021
I was curious to see Tara Westover‘s Mom’s response. This memoir is written in part response to her daughter’s memoir “Educated”
The author doesn’t have a resentful tone in the book but describes her life and choices and defends them.
One part that was particularly interesting to me was her account of her teenage boyfriend’s control. The author's healing from this led her to have to build up her self confidence again & learn how to stand up for herself. I believe she also included this to prove that she herself has made her own decisions including for decision to marry Val, partner with him with a survivalist, homeschool, no medicine, nontraditional lifestyle.
Other parts of the book were also interesting because they are very different from the way I have chosen to live my life. The stories after stories of how herbal, homeopathic and essential oil remedies healed their family of tremendous injuries was astounding. In Tara’s memoir it appeared to be an VERY arduous and much more painful battle in the absence of chemicals. But in her mother’s memoir although it was still a VERY arduous battle it seemed totally worth it because there was more healing possible than if they had gone to the hospital, especially with the burn injuries.
I found myself reading this book with a lot of judgemental attitude, which I am sad to state.
It was hard to know when I disagreed with some things so much because of my beliefs or if I was judging the person because I was raised and have chosen a different lifestyle. One example of this would be the father often disregarding safety protocols causing him or him his family terrible injuries.
Most perplexing was the last three chapters in which she talks about the growing distance between her family and her youngest daughter – Tara – the author of “educated.”
Although there was not a resentful tone she said basically the opposite of what her daughter had said. She said there was no truth to her daughters claims of abuse. She listed concrete examples and said that when her daughter accused them or their son of abuse Tara had no concrete examples. LaRee said that actual evidence of abuse was only brought up later in her daughters memoir. I think she implied here that these were fabricated examples. In the forward of her book she states that she has written this book in part as a response to her daughter’s fictionalized accounts.
I really don’t know who to believe. My background is having grown up in a non-Mormon, non-survivalist Christian home, where I attended public school for 10 years. I believe in and use hospitals, doctors and medicine and have never used essential oils, homeopathic or herbal remedies
It definitely leaves me a little unsettled. I’m sad for the distance and pain that the parents describe, but I cannot forget how relieved I was when I read about Tara gaining distance and mental health from the abuse that she experienced from her parents and brother Travis
Mixed review that I found: https://mrsladywordsmith.com/educatin...
One special part of this mixed review I will quote below:
“Why was big brother Shawn (real name Travis) allowed to be such a bully to Tara?
In much of Tara’s book, she writes about physical harm he repeatedly inflicts upon her. She claims her mother saw it and her sister experienced abuse as well, though this sister later retracts her story. Tara also spots serious signs of abuse in Travis’s spouse and reports it to the family, causing another, huge family dispute. The reader is confused, however, when Tara continues to spend time with Travis–alone. Yet, that is often typical behavior from a victim of abuse. They remember the good and love the person. So they go back.
LaRee admits, very briefly on one page, that “no one who knows Travis –not even Travis himself–will tell you that he doesn’t have a temper.” Even before experiencing a serious head injury, he had a temper. “At times, Travis can be belligerent and obnoxious and intimidating” (p. 291). And then she goes on to praise him, referring to him as unselfish and deeply loyal. “Society has rightly taught us the value of watching for the warning signs of abuse,” LaRee states. “Even when looking specifically for it, I saw nothing that caused me concern.”
“Mom’s light treatment of this matter is confusing and leaves the reader to suspect abuse did happen and is being ignored. Tara’s account is detailed enough to indicate there was a problem.”
Another quote: “Val may have “pushed safety protocols somewhat as he is used to heaven’s protection” (p. 243).”
Online positive review of Educating: https://bookofruthann.com/en/educatin...
Just interesting text that I copied FROM GOODREADS:
Sandra asked:
I saw mentioned that Tyler Westover has published a review of this book, giving it 5 stars and also excerpts of the letter he writes his parents. Can someone let me know where I can find this?
Julie I just googled that. It's a review on Amazon.
"Good message, although some supporting information isn't fully accurate -Tyler W.
ByAmazon Customeron February 26, 2018
Format: Hardcover|Verified Purchase
First, let me identify myself. I am Tyler Westover, brother number three in this book. Reading through other comments, it is clear that the book has become very controversial. A natural tendency when we encounter someone that we disagree strongly with is to attempt to dehumanize those individuals into foul monsters. We see this behavior regularly in politics as well as in arguments over land and other natural resources. My purpose in writing this review is not to try to prove either side wrong; rather, it is to “humanize” the people on both sides, while also providing a partial perspective that people on both sides of the argument may be able to agree with. Several concerns prevent this from being a full perspective.
I will start by quoting an email that I sent to Tara on Feb. 21, 2016. I still mostly feel the same way. Here are excerpts from the note that I sent:
“Overall, I like the book and wish that we could all understand it. It not only contains important messages, but the writing style and descriptions are captivating. … I could add a number of details on Part 1: Idaho. For your earlier memories, I was old enough to have access to more information, and I could clarify. I am not sure that I would recommend changing your text much, though, because my additions would also add complications. Usually in reports of scientific and engineering projects we follow what is known as the "80/20 rule," which is that reports focus on key messages and points and deliberately leave out seemingly contradictory or excessively complicated information for general audiences. The fact is that practically no-one can understand all of the details in a complicated situation, and focusing on the underlying themes is generally best unless the audience has specific need to try to grasp the details. I think that you did well following the 80/20 rule. If you like I could send clarifying notes that you could include in an appendix or as publication notes. As you mention, we have different memories and different perceptions of the same events, and I recognize that if you try to include my version, it will likely interfere with your clean narrative.”
Some elements in the book have been misinterpreted from the way that Tara likely intended, and I think that some things Tara misunderstood herself. Because education is a primary theme of the book, I will offer a different perspective on that topic here. In writing this alternate perspective, I do not intend to convey that Tara’s interpretation of events is wholly in error. Our parents are extremists, and they and other members of our family have done terrible things that have hurt Tara. There is no doubt there was abuse, neglect, and other awful choices. Those events are described in Tara’s book, and I will not add new comments about those events here. I was removed quite far from the family when most of those events took place, and for the most part they are not entirely clear in my mind. As indicated above, I intend to restrict my narrative here to my personal experiences or actual events for which I have clear accounts that I expect will generate little disagreement from other individuals who were involved.
As Tara describes, our father is very suspicious of the government. At one point, he told us, his children, that he was concerned someone from the government could come to our home and gun shots could be fired. Nothing he ever said, however, led me to believe that this concern was connected with our homeschool. Instead, he referenced Charlton Hesston’s sentiment that the only way the government would get his guns would be from his “cold dead hands.” To expand a little further, our father also said that he did not think that the government would send local law enforcement or even federal agents to take guns away from law-abiding U.S. citizens. He considered it more likely that such a task would have to be fulfilled by troops from the United Nations. It should also be noted that the guns in question did not include high capacity, semi-automatic rifles, such as have been used in mass shootings or are designed for intense combat. I have never seen our father with such a weapon, and as far as I know, he has never owned one.
Regarding higher education, many readers of the book have concluded that Tara attended formal higher education against apparently insurmountable odds. Perhaps it is not that surprising after all. Of the seven children in our family, six of them attended formal higher education classes (Luke is the only one who has not, and as described in Tara’s book, classroom education is not really his thing). In addition, both our mother “Faye” and our father “Gene” attended at least one year of university classes each. Our mother frequently encouraged me from a young age to prepare to attend university classes by the time I was sixteen. On the other hand, our father has expressed great dissatisfaction with the hubris associated with university education as well as its bias toward liberal thinking.
Observing people around me, it seemed that university degrees actually helped very few people in our community. Most individuals that I knew of returned to work on their family’s farm after getting a degree. Those that did not return, I really didn’t know about. Without being able to perceive a direct benefit from a university degree, I did not initially consider higher education very seriously. Our father was actually the person who first gave me a specific purpose to get a university degree. He told me that if I got an engineering degree, then I could provide engineering stamps for building and bridge designs for the family construction business. Our dad mostly created his own designs for sheds and other custom structures that his business built, but sometimes he had to have his designs stamped by a professional engineer. If I became a professional engineer, not only could I stamp our designs, but I could probably also be more flexible in the design to save additional costs in fabrication materials. The idea captured my interest, but I was concerned about being able to finish an engineering degree. At the time, I was about sixteen, and four years of classes in a university seemed like a very long time. Neither of my parents had actually graduated. I considered that the only way to make sure that I could graduate would be to win a four-year full-tuition scholarship; at length, that is what I determined to do. Tara was correct that my father often fought me to go to work rather than study.
Part of the application for the scholarship that I wanted (a Trustee’s scholarship at BYU) required writing an essay response to a quote by Blaise Pascal. Again it was our father who provided the best advice on how to approach the essay. He suggested that I spend a full day in the library at Utah State University to read all I could about Blaise Pascal to find the context of the quote and perhaps additional complementary quotes. I followed my father’s advice and won the scholarship. Years later as I was finishing a bachelor’s degree in engineering at BYU, Purdue University offered me a fellowship for graduate school. I was excited to go but also very hesitant. It was important to me that I marry someone who shared my religious beliefs, and that seemed much less probable in Indiana than in Utah. After much deliberation and hearing some negative stories about graduate school in far-away places, I had almost decided to turn down Purdue’s offer and stay in Utah. Before I made my final decision, though, I consulted my parents for their advice. They both recommended that I go to Purdue. I particularly remember my father’s advice. He told me not to let fear of the future cause me to miss such a great opportunity. With that reassurance, I decided to go, and after five years, I earned a Ph.D. from Purdue.
Undoubtedly, Tara’s experience talking about higher education with our parents was much different than mine. After reading a memoir, I would hope that readers have new questions about their understanding of the events and people being scrutinized rather than feeling confident that their understanding is now sufficient to render accurate judgment. Every person involved has their own paradigm and experiences.
Postscript Note: I have received some negative comments on the review above from people who think that I am trying to impose my experiences on Tara. That really is not my intention. In her book, in numerous places, Tara interprets for me and other members of my family things that we did, said, thought, and even felt. I cannot speak for the other members of my family, but in my case I think in many instances she greatly incorrectly conveyed my experiences. In the interest of a balanced viewpoint, it seems that I should at least attempt to share a part of my perspective, while still supporting her as much as I can. I do recognize this is her memoir, and she describes her experiences from her paradigm. However, it seems reasonable for me to explain my perspective and outline events that demonstrate the validity of my perspective, in my review
.
January 3, 2021
I was curious to see Tara Westover‘s Mom’s response. This memoir is written in part response to her daughter’s memoir “Educated”
The author doesn’t have a resentful tone in the book but describes her life and choices and defends them.
One part that was particularly interesting to me was her account of her teenage boyfriend’s control. The author's healing from this led her to have to build up her self confidence again & learn how to stand up for herself. I believe she also included this to prove that she herself has made her own decisions including for decision to marry Val, partner with him with a survivalist, homeschool, no medicine, nontraditional lifestyle.
Other parts of the book were also interesting because they are very different from the way I have chosen to live my life. The stories after stories of how herbal, homeopathic and essential oil remedies healed their family of tremendous injuries was astounding. In Tara’s memoir it appeared to be an VERY arduous and much more painful battle in the absence of chemicals. But in her mother’s memoir although it was still a VERY arduous battle it seemed totally worth it because there was more healing possible than if they had gone to the hospital, especially with the burn injuries.
I found myself reading this book with a lot of judgemental attitude, which I am sad to state.
It was hard to know when I disagreed with some things so much because of my beliefs or if I was judging the person because I was raised and have chosen a different lifestyle. One example of this would be the father often disregarding safety protocols causing him or him his family terrible injuries.
Most perplexing was the last three chapters in which she talks about the growing distance between her family and her youngest daughter – Tara – the author of “educated.”
Although there was not a resentful tone she said basically the opposite of what her daughter had said. She said there was no truth to her daughters claims of abuse. She listed concrete examples and said that when her daughter accused them or their son of abuse Tara had no concrete examples. LaRee said that actual evidence of abuse was only brought up later in her daughters memoir. I think she implied here that these were fabricated examples. In the forward of her book she states that she has written this book in part as a response to her daughter’s fictionalized accounts.
I really don’t know who to believe. My background is having grown up in a non-Mormon, non-survivalist Christian home, where I attended public school for 10 years. I believe in and use hospitals, doctors and medicine and have never used essential oils, homeopathic or herbal remedies
It definitely leaves me a little unsettled. I’m sad for the distance and pain that the parents describe, but I cannot forget how relieved I was when I read about Tara gaining distance and mental health from the abuse that she experienced from her parents and brother Travis
Mixed review that I found: https://mrsladywordsmith.com/educatin...
One special part of this mixed review I will quote below:
“Why was big brother Shawn (real name Travis) allowed to be such a bully to Tara?
In much of Tara’s book, she writes about physical harm he repeatedly inflicts upon her. She claims her mother saw it and her sister experienced abuse as well, though this sister later retracts her story. Tara also spots serious signs of abuse in Travis’s spouse and reports it to the family, causing another, huge family dispute. The reader is confused, however, when Tara continues to spend time with Travis–alone. Yet, that is often typical behavior from a victim of abuse. They remember the good and love the person. So they go back.
LaRee admits, very briefly on one page, that “no one who knows Travis –not even Travis himself–will tell you that he doesn’t have a temper.” Even before experiencing a serious head injury, he had a temper. “At times, Travis can be belligerent and obnoxious and intimidating” (p. 291). And then she goes on to praise him, referring to him as unselfish and deeply loyal. “Society has rightly taught us the value of watching for the warning signs of abuse,” LaRee states. “Even when looking specifically for it, I saw nothing that caused me concern.”
“Mom’s light treatment of this matter is confusing and leaves the reader to suspect abuse did happen and is being ignored. Tara’s account is detailed enough to indicate there was a problem.”
Another quote: “Val may have “pushed safety protocols somewhat as he is used to heaven’s protection” (p. 243).”
Online positive review of Educating: https://bookofruthann.com/en/educatin...
Just interesting text that I copied FROM GOODREADS:
Sandra asked:
I saw mentioned that Tyler Westover has published a review of this book, giving it 5 stars and also excerpts of the letter he writes his parents. Can someone let me know where I can find this?
Julie I just googled that. It's a review on Amazon.
"Good message, although some supporting information isn't fully accurate -Tyler W.
ByAmazon Customeron February 26, 2018
Format: Hardcover|Verified Purchase
First, let me identify myself. I am Tyler Westover, brother number three in this book. Reading through other comments, it is clear that the book has become very controversial. A natural tendency when we encounter someone that we disagree strongly with is to attempt to dehumanize those individuals into foul monsters. We see this behavior regularly in politics as well as in arguments over land and other natural resources. My purpose in writing this review is not to try to prove either side wrong; rather, it is to “humanize” the people on both sides, while also providing a partial perspective that people on both sides of the argument may be able to agree with. Several concerns prevent this from being a full perspective.
I will start by quoting an email that I sent to Tara on Feb. 21, 2016. I still mostly feel the same way. Here are excerpts from the note that I sent:
“Overall, I like the book and wish that we could all understand it. It not only contains important messages, but the writing style and descriptions are captivating. … I could add a number of details on Part 1: Idaho. For your earlier memories, I was old enough to have access to more information, and I could clarify. I am not sure that I would recommend changing your text much, though, because my additions would also add complications. Usually in reports of scientific and engineering projects we follow what is known as the "80/20 rule," which is that reports focus on key messages and points and deliberately leave out seemingly contradictory or excessively complicated information for general audiences. The fact is that practically no-one can understand all of the details in a complicated situation, and focusing on the underlying themes is generally best unless the audience has specific need to try to grasp the details. I think that you did well following the 80/20 rule. If you like I could send clarifying notes that you could include in an appendix or as publication notes. As you mention, we have different memories and different perceptions of the same events, and I recognize that if you try to include my version, it will likely interfere with your clean narrative.”
Some elements in the book have been misinterpreted from the way that Tara likely intended, and I think that some things Tara misunderstood herself. Because education is a primary theme of the book, I will offer a different perspective on that topic here. In writing this alternate perspective, I do not intend to convey that Tara’s interpretation of events is wholly in error. Our parents are extremists, and they and other members of our family have done terrible things that have hurt Tara. There is no doubt there was abuse, neglect, and other awful choices. Those events are described in Tara’s book, and I will not add new comments about those events here. I was removed quite far from the family when most of those events took place, and for the most part they are not entirely clear in my mind. As indicated above, I intend to restrict my narrative here to my personal experiences or actual events for which I have clear accounts that I expect will generate little disagreement from other individuals who were involved.
As Tara describes, our father is very suspicious of the government. At one point, he told us, his children, that he was concerned someone from the government could come to our home and gun shots could be fired. Nothing he ever said, however, led me to believe that this concern was connected with our homeschool. Instead, he referenced Charlton Hesston’s sentiment that the only way the government would get his guns would be from his “cold dead hands.” To expand a little further, our father also said that he did not think that the government would send local law enforcement or even federal agents to take guns away from law-abiding U.S. citizens. He considered it more likely that such a task would have to be fulfilled by troops from the United Nations. It should also be noted that the guns in question did not include high capacity, semi-automatic rifles, such as have been used in mass shootings or are designed for intense combat. I have never seen our father with such a weapon, and as far as I know, he has never owned one.
Regarding higher education, many readers of the book have concluded that Tara attended formal higher education against apparently insurmountable odds. Perhaps it is not that surprising after all. Of the seven children in our family, six of them attended formal higher education classes (Luke is the only one who has not, and as described in Tara’s book, classroom education is not really his thing). In addition, both our mother “Faye” and our father “Gene” attended at least one year of university classes each. Our mother frequently encouraged me from a young age to prepare to attend university classes by the time I was sixteen. On the other hand, our father has expressed great dissatisfaction with the hubris associated with university education as well as its bias toward liberal thinking.
Observing people around me, it seemed that university degrees actually helped very few people in our community. Most individuals that I knew of returned to work on their family’s farm after getting a degree. Those that did not return, I really didn’t know about. Without being able to perceive a direct benefit from a university degree, I did not initially consider higher education very seriously. Our father was actually the person who first gave me a specific purpose to get a university degree. He told me that if I got an engineering degree, then I could provide engineering stamps for building and bridge designs for the family construction business. Our dad mostly created his own designs for sheds and other custom structures that his business built, but sometimes he had to have his designs stamped by a professional engineer. If I became a professional engineer, not only could I stamp our designs, but I could probably also be more flexible in the design to save additional costs in fabrication materials. The idea captured my interest, but I was concerned about being able to finish an engineering degree. At the time, I was about sixteen, and four years of classes in a university seemed like a very long time. Neither of my parents had actually graduated. I considered that the only way to make sure that I could graduate would be to win a four-year full-tuition scholarship; at length, that is what I determined to do. Tara was correct that my father often fought me to go to work rather than study.
Part of the application for the scholarship that I wanted (a Trustee’s scholarship at BYU) required writing an essay response to a quote by Blaise Pascal. Again it was our father who provided the best advice on how to approach the essay. He suggested that I spend a full day in the library at Utah State University to read all I could about Blaise Pascal to find the context of the quote and perhaps additional complementary quotes. I followed my father’s advice and won the scholarship. Years later as I was finishing a bachelor’s degree in engineering at BYU, Purdue University offered me a fellowship for graduate school. I was excited to go but also very hesitant. It was important to me that I marry someone who shared my religious beliefs, and that seemed much less probable in Indiana than in Utah. After much deliberation and hearing some negative stories about graduate school in far-away places, I had almost decided to turn down Purdue’s offer and stay in Utah. Before I made my final decision, though, I consulted my parents for their advice. They both recommended that I go to Purdue. I particularly remember my father’s advice. He told me not to let fear of the future cause me to miss such a great opportunity. With that reassurance, I decided to go, and after five years, I earned a Ph.D. from Purdue.
Undoubtedly, Tara’s experience talking about higher education with our parents was much different than mine. After reading a memoir, I would hope that readers have new questions about their understanding of the events and people being scrutinized rather than feeling confident that their understanding is now sufficient to render accurate judgment. Every person involved has their own paradigm and experiences.
Postscript Note: I have received some negative comments on the review above from people who think that I am trying to impose my experiences on Tara. That really is not my intention. In her book, in numerous places, Tara interprets for me and other members of my family things that we did, said, thought, and even felt. I cannot speak for the other members of my family, but in my case I think in many instances she greatly incorrectly conveyed my experiences. In the interest of a balanced viewpoint, it seems that I should at least attempt to share a part of my perspective, while still supporting her as much as I can. I do recognize this is her memoir, and she describes her experiences from her paradigm. However, it seems reasonable for me to explain my perspective and outline events that demonstrate the validity of my perspective, in my review
.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 17, 2021
If I could give this a zero I would.
May 21, 2021
Dont spend a dime to enable this horrible mother's lies. Who does she think she is kidding? She must be delusional.
December 20, 2021
If I was LaRee I would be very embarrassed. This book is utter garbage. This book actually makes me want to praise Satan
December 10, 2020
This book was interesting, but I don't think I would recommend it to a friend. It did give me a greater perspective than the sole narrative given in her daughter's book 'Educated', however LaRee spoke way too much in absolutes for me to really trust everything she said in this book. She said things such as absolutely everything in Tara's book was false, that herbal medicine is always helpful etc but then contradicts herself so frequently that it is sometimes on the same page! She gives statistics without any reference or citation making claims that seem far fetched. She also is very vague in many things that are very explicit in Tara's book making me believe that there may be more to the story than what appears on the page. The book seems poorly written to me (I believe it is self-published). With all things said, it did serve as a defense for her perception of her life which is something everyone deserves. One quote from the end of the book reads: "I have no expectation as to what proportion of those who read this memoir will believe what is written. It really doesn't matter. It is important to note that many of the stories in Tara's memoir took place before she was born, so they are not her memories at all. Others refer to events that supposedly happened when she was still a little girl. And still others describe events at which she was not present." Memory is a fragile thing- and while I do think that areas of Tara's book 'Educated' may no be represented 100% accurately, it is easy to see that her perception and the perception of her mother are very differently- both equally affected by memory, personal narratives/agendas, the input of others (family members, community, etc) and more.
March 23, 2021
I don’t even know what to say about this. I suspect the author would have to use her herbal remedies to treat the sprained arm she must certainly have suffered from patting herself on the back. Very narcissistic book.
I suspect the Westover family “truth” must bear little resemblance to either of their memoirs.
I suspect the Westover family “truth” must bear little resemblance to either of their memoirs.
April 15, 2022
After reading Educated, I did some online research and found Educating. Educated was so parallel to my own childhood in many ways. I wanted to read Educating just to see if her parents responded the same way to her that mine have towards my adult life.
I was not going to spend money on this book, so thankfully the library system was able to locate ONE copy of the book. It was shipped from Logan, Utah to Central Pennsylvania via. interlibrary loans.
If LaRee thinks writing this rebuttal to Educated will help repair her relationship with Tara, she is brutally wrong. It may cause some people to empathize with or for LaRee. Restoration of a parent-adult child will never happen as long as the parent is denying their shortcomings, especially when they continue to paint their child's memories as untrue or wrong. Sure, children are likely to have a few fuzzy details about some of their childhood memories, however children will always remember clearly how the adults in their lives made them feel. I remember specifically as a child, growing up in a similar community that I experienced many different difficult emotions that I did not have the names of when I was mentally/emotionally taunted by "loved ones." Tricked, manipulated, gas-lit, and uncomfortable are all words that I know now. I hope and pray that some of Tara's siblings are able to heal and will eventually validate Tara's memories and feelings, but it may only happen after their parents pass away someday- since most of them work for their parent's company and won't bite the hand that feeds them. And if the relationships are never restored, that is okay too. Tara endured a lot of religious and emotional abuse and she should be free to create a life she loves and is proud of- free of everyone's earthly judgement.
I was not going to spend money on this book, so thankfully the library system was able to locate ONE copy of the book. It was shipped from Logan, Utah to Central Pennsylvania via. interlibrary loans.
If LaRee thinks writing this rebuttal to Educated will help repair her relationship with Tara, she is brutally wrong. It may cause some people to empathize with or for LaRee. Restoration of a parent-adult child will never happen as long as the parent is denying their shortcomings, especially when they continue to paint their child's memories as untrue or wrong. Sure, children are likely to have a few fuzzy details about some of their childhood memories, however children will always remember clearly how the adults in their lives made them feel. I remember specifically as a child, growing up in a similar community that I experienced many different difficult emotions that I did not have the names of when I was mentally/emotionally taunted by "loved ones." Tricked, manipulated, gas-lit, and uncomfortable are all words that I know now. I hope and pray that some of Tara's siblings are able to heal and will eventually validate Tara's memories and feelings, but it may only happen after their parents pass away someday- since most of them work for their parent's company and won't bite the hand that feeds them. And if the relationships are never restored, that is okay too. Tara endured a lot of religious and emotional abuse and she should be free to create a life she loves and is proud of- free of everyone's earthly judgement.
November 2, 2021
Reading LaRee Westover's memoir was like ingesting carapichea ipecacuanha ... a herbal emetic! Notwithstanding the most appalling appropriation of the title of Tara Westover's memoir, this memoir is self-indulgent drivel written by a delusional woman who is clutching at straws and perpetuating the abuse of her daughter as she does so.
LaRee Westover should be hanging her head in shame.
Give this poorly conceived book a miss, folks. It's not worth the cortisol spike!
LaRee Westover should be hanging her head in shame.
Give this poorly conceived book a miss, folks. It's not worth the cortisol spike!
November 13, 2021
This a pitiful, transparent and failed attempt to distract from the truth. The truth which is that LaRee allowed her daughter to be subject to continual emotional and physical abuse throughout, and after, her childhood. In fact, the title of this “memoir” alone is… for lack of a better word, sick.
November 14, 2020
Anyone who has read the book 'Educated' by Tara Westover should read this book. It provides an added perspective that deserves to be heard. I was very interested to read this book as we live very near the author, and although I don't know her well, we have seen and heard of the drama and heartache caused by the book 'Educated'. I tried to read bits of Tara's book via the audio version, but stopped about halfway through. I was continually annoyed with her prefacing stories with "I wasn't there, but family members who were tell me . . . ." Or "I was too young to remember but after talking to several others . . . " It seems an unfair premise to write a "memoir" based on others accounts. And as I was reading Tara's book I was struck with how obvious it was that the author was *not* a parent. As a parent I could easily see her accounts from a different perspective. But this isn't a review of that book, so I will change gears.
In this book, "Educating", while it follows the memoir guidelines of being actual accounts from the perspective and experiences of the author, it didn't quite measure up to my expectations for a memoir either. The author is obviously hurt and feels the need to defend and explain her position and even her personality throughout the book. Having not read the entire book 'Educated' and thus not being on the offense, I found some of the defensiveness a bit redundant. I can understand the author's compelling desire to set the record straight on herself. As a parent (and an imperfect one) and having been a child of imperfect parents I know that things don't go as well as we would like them to, and bad things happen to, and in, imperfect families. When trauma occurs, it is really hard to see it from the vantage point of both parties. I felt like this book provided some of that perspective, and it was important to read for that reason.
The accounts of education and the authors perspective on home education and learning were very interesting. The explanations on essential oils and alternative healing were a bit brief, but relatively relatable. I loved the pictures in the middle, and the quotes included in each chapter. The depth to which the author discusses and analyzes her relationships with her parents, spouse, former boyfriend, sisters, children, etc. is well done and makes the author very relatable and human. It sounds as if she has had a lot of joy as well as sadness in her journey. It also sounds as if she sometimes assumes the world is not on her side, and I don't know whether that is a message she intended to convey.
Near the end, the author mentions that she and her husband thought the best thing to do in a situation with alleged abuse was to sit down with all the parties involved and have a discussion. To me, having been hurt by childhood abuse, this does not seem like the "best" thing. The author writes that she couldn't understand why her daughter was silent through the meeting and then claimed she had been cornered.
I find myself able to see both sides in this situation. Sitting an abused down with her abuser for a chat doesn't seem like an open and helpful situation, whether the abuse has been proven or not.
I don't know if abuse did or did not happen. I wasn't there. I don't want to be there. But I know that one person can feel abused and traumatized by an event or situation that might seem trivial or funny to another. It happens all the time. Perspective is critical, and we simply cannot see where other people are coming from clearly. We don't live in their head. We haven't experienced their previous events that led them to this place, perhaps damaged. We all do the best that we can. And we all mess up. Frequently.
I appreciate this book as a valuable effort by the author to find clarity and peace and move forward. If for no other reason, you should read this book to give her that opportunity. Her perspective is valuable and deserves to be heard. And the faith filled stories also give the flavor of what it's like to raise a large family in rural South East Idaho. I can relate to that in so many ways. Broken bones and broken hearts. It's all part of the education we receive as parents, living in a real, imperfect world.
In this book, "Educating", while it follows the memoir guidelines of being actual accounts from the perspective and experiences of the author, it didn't quite measure up to my expectations for a memoir either. The author is obviously hurt and feels the need to defend and explain her position and even her personality throughout the book. Having not read the entire book 'Educated' and thus not being on the offense, I found some of the defensiveness a bit redundant. I can understand the author's compelling desire to set the record straight on herself. As a parent (and an imperfect one) and having been a child of imperfect parents I know that things don't go as well as we would like them to, and bad things happen to, and in, imperfect families. When trauma occurs, it is really hard to see it from the vantage point of both parties. I felt like this book provided some of that perspective, and it was important to read for that reason.
The accounts of education and the authors perspective on home education and learning were very interesting. The explanations on essential oils and alternative healing were a bit brief, but relatively relatable. I loved the pictures in the middle, and the quotes included in each chapter. The depth to which the author discusses and analyzes her relationships with her parents, spouse, former boyfriend, sisters, children, etc. is well done and makes the author very relatable and human. It sounds as if she has had a lot of joy as well as sadness in her journey. It also sounds as if she sometimes assumes the world is not on her side, and I don't know whether that is a message she intended to convey.
Near the end, the author mentions that she and her husband thought the best thing to do in a situation with alleged abuse was to sit down with all the parties involved and have a discussion. To me, having been hurt by childhood abuse, this does not seem like the "best" thing. The author writes that she couldn't understand why her daughter was silent through the meeting and then claimed she had been cornered.
I find myself able to see both sides in this situation. Sitting an abused down with her abuser for a chat doesn't seem like an open and helpful situation, whether the abuse has been proven or not.
I don't know if abuse did or did not happen. I wasn't there. I don't want to be there. But I know that one person can feel abused and traumatized by an event or situation that might seem trivial or funny to another. It happens all the time. Perspective is critical, and we simply cannot see where other people are coming from clearly. We don't live in their head. We haven't experienced their previous events that led them to this place, perhaps damaged. We all do the best that we can. And we all mess up. Frequently.
I appreciate this book as a valuable effort by the author to find clarity and peace and move forward. If for no other reason, you should read this book to give her that opportunity. Her perspective is valuable and deserves to be heard. And the faith filled stories also give the flavor of what it's like to raise a large family in rural South East Idaho. I can relate to that in so many ways. Broken bones and broken hearts. It's all part of the education we receive as parents, living in a real, imperfect world.
August 20, 2021
I honestly don't know where to begin. My father in law got this from the library and wanted me to read it so we could discuss. I did and we both came to the same conclusion. What in the *@^_* was that? It's like she and Tara wrote about two different families and two different experiences completely. LaRee is obviously very talented and smart. But at times, I felt like I was reading something a teenager would write. She's such a victim. Ugh. My dad taught me that if everyone hates you, look at the common denominator. It's YOU. Guess what, Westovers! If your immediate and extended families, neighbors and local government officials have issues with you, maybe look at yourselves and acknowledge that you aren't quite as righteous and wonderful as you think you are. Maybe, just maybe, you are the problem! As a member of their church, I got VERY uncomfortable with the way she speaks of sacred things. So many things raised my hackles. I'm sure Tara's book isn't completely accurate either. No one remembers everything perfectly. But LaRee's?! Like, again, seriously! What a nutcase she is. Just wow. I actually think I liked Tara's version of her better than LaRee's own. What does that tell you??
May 7, 2022
It's a shame that a mother would actually try to make a "clapback" book against her daughter (Tara Westover, author of Educated). I'd give this zero stars if I could. This is a terrible book by a terrible person.
September 22, 2021
I would not have purchased this book. It was loaned to me and about 50 pages in I almost decided I was done. But I did finish it. We know that perceptions among family members often differ about events and relationships. I believe the author believes her version of the family. I do not. I am sad though not totally surprised to see the level of denial I think this mother has about Tara’s childhood experiences. It’s one of the things that characterizes families where abuse occurs. I pray for Taras ongoing healing despite the difficult choice she had to make to distance from her family members in order to retain her own sanity and sense of self.
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