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Men and Women in the Church: A Short, Biblical, Practical Introduction
A Biblical Primer on Men and Women in the Church
There is much at stake in God making humanity male and female. Created for one another yet distinct from each other, a man and a woman are not interchangeable—they are designed to function according to a divine fittedness. But when this design is misunderstood, ignored, or abused, there are dire consequences.
Men and women—in marriage especially, but in the rest of life as well—complement one another. And this biblical truth has enduring, cosmic significance. From start to finish, the biblical storyline—and the design of creation itself—depends upon the distinction between male and female. Men and Women in the Church is about the divinely designed complementarity of men and women as it applies to life in general and especially ministry in the church.
There is much at stake in God making humanity male and female. Created for one another yet distinct from each other, a man and a woman are not interchangeable—they are designed to function according to a divine fittedness. But when this design is misunderstood, ignored, or abused, there are dire consequences.
Men and women—in marriage especially, but in the rest of life as well—complement one another. And this biblical truth has enduring, cosmic significance. From start to finish, the biblical storyline—and the design of creation itself—depends upon the distinction between male and female. Men and Women in the Church is about the divinely designed complementarity of men and women as it applies to life in general and especially ministry in the church.
160 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 6, 2021
125 people are currently reading
1477 people want to read
About the author
Kevin DeYoung
113 books1,238 followersKevin DeYoung is the Senior Pastor at University Reformed Church (RCA) in East Lansing, Michigan, right across the street from Michigan State University.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 265 reviews
November 12, 2022
For context - I’m a pastor who does *not* have women preaching in the Sunday service AND I’ve greatly appreciated K DY’s books in the past, especially “What is the Mission of the Church”. However this book did not have anywhere near the rigor. I’d give this book 1.5⭐️ if Goodreads allowed.
The limitations of the book are perhaps not surprising, since De Young begins the book by explaining that he’d long wished for a book in his church foyer setting out what his church believes on the ministry of Women; and that is largely how the book reads - an affirmation of the position his particular congregations take on women in ministry.
It is not that De Young is lacking in grace about how other complementarians may express or apply their convictions. It is just that his exegesis and theological framework are way too brief and thin for an exploration of complementarity in ministry. Even Claire Smith’s very brief book (God’s Good Design) written from a somewhat similar perspective engages with the biblical text in a far more sustained way.
The OT is surveyed and applied in a way that completely lacks even a cursory Christological framework, as if it is men/church eldership (not Christ) who fulfils the Israelite institutions of Prophet, Priest, and King. He cites Genesis as suggesting man’s strenght makes him fitting for labour in the field, and woman’s nurture a fitting characteristic in the home - he then goes on to quote Prov 31 without blinking an eyelid at the mention of the wife who works in the field... WITH HER STRONG arms!!!
1 Timothy is explicitly framed as the “Heart of the Matter”, which suggests shoring up a particular position on women preaching is the key issue - not better understanding the nature of complementarity between men and women.
Ephesian’s theological exploration of Headship is almost skipped over completely (despite devoting a whole chapter to Ephesians).
In the application section De Young (admittedly trying to be brief) defines the essence of being male in a Godly way as coming down to *Strength*, and being female comes down to the appropriation of *Beauty* - though of course both values are framed in spiritual terms. Even so, these values are not established from, say, Genesis, but are reverse engineered as given ontological realities from NT passages that are not at all seeking to establish masculinity/femininity.
The book was also effectively silent with respect to those women who were single, or unable to have kids, other than to toss in the briefest of caveats on one or two occasions. You could only “get away” with this in a church context where 95% of women were OR expected to be married... not that “getting away with it” is what should be aimed for. I’m certain KDY was not actively aiming to sideline anyone, and yet...
On several occasions KDY writes in a manner that I wish his editors had counselled him against; from engaging in puns such as referring to Eve as a “womb-man”, to a list of women’s ministry activity he encourages which, along with teaching women/Children, also included “running baby showers, sending care packages, and sewing curtains”. There is a tone-deafness evident at times that surprised and unsettled me.
Sadly, De Young’s most focussed discussion comes in an appendix in which he critiques (rightly, to my mind) John Dickson’s “complementarian” case for women preaching. This gave me the impression that the book was primarily focussed on stating his own Church’s stance on women preaching, in contrast to other so-called Complementarian positions.
I’d suggest asking your own pastor to engage with these texts with you instead. If one wanted an accessible, but genuinely considered exegesis (without it being paralysingly technical) of key passages I’d still suggest Christopher Ash’s “Marriage: sex in the service of God”.
The limitations of the book are perhaps not surprising, since De Young begins the book by explaining that he’d long wished for a book in his church foyer setting out what his church believes on the ministry of Women; and that is largely how the book reads - an affirmation of the position his particular congregations take on women in ministry.
It is not that De Young is lacking in grace about how other complementarians may express or apply their convictions. It is just that his exegesis and theological framework are way too brief and thin for an exploration of complementarity in ministry. Even Claire Smith’s very brief book (God’s Good Design) written from a somewhat similar perspective engages with the biblical text in a far more sustained way.
The OT is surveyed and applied in a way that completely lacks even a cursory Christological framework, as if it is men/church eldership (not Christ) who fulfils the Israelite institutions of Prophet, Priest, and King. He cites Genesis as suggesting man’s strenght makes him fitting for labour in the field, and woman’s nurture a fitting characteristic in the home - he then goes on to quote Prov 31 without blinking an eyelid at the mention of the wife who works in the field... WITH HER STRONG arms!!!
1 Timothy is explicitly framed as the “Heart of the Matter”, which suggests shoring up a particular position on women preaching is the key issue - not better understanding the nature of complementarity between men and women.
Ephesian’s theological exploration of Headship is almost skipped over completely (despite devoting a whole chapter to Ephesians).
In the application section De Young (admittedly trying to be brief) defines the essence of being male in a Godly way as coming down to *Strength*, and being female comes down to the appropriation of *Beauty* - though of course both values are framed in spiritual terms. Even so, these values are not established from, say, Genesis, but are reverse engineered as given ontological realities from NT passages that are not at all seeking to establish masculinity/femininity.
The book was also effectively silent with respect to those women who were single, or unable to have kids, other than to toss in the briefest of caveats on one or two occasions. You could only “get away” with this in a church context where 95% of women were OR expected to be married... not that “getting away with it” is what should be aimed for. I’m certain KDY was not actively aiming to sideline anyone, and yet...
On several occasions KDY writes in a manner that I wish his editors had counselled him against; from engaging in puns such as referring to Eve as a “womb-man”, to a list of women’s ministry activity he encourages which, along with teaching women/Children, also included “running baby showers, sending care packages, and sewing curtains”. There is a tone-deafness evident at times that surprised and unsettled me.
Sadly, De Young’s most focussed discussion comes in an appendix in which he critiques (rightly, to my mind) John Dickson’s “complementarian” case for women preaching. This gave me the impression that the book was primarily focussed on stating his own Church’s stance on women preaching, in contrast to other so-called Complementarian positions.
I’d suggest asking your own pastor to engage with these texts with you instead. If one wanted an accessible, but genuinely considered exegesis (without it being paralysingly technical) of key passages I’d still suggest Christopher Ash’s “Marriage: sex in the service of God”.
May 8, 2021
It’s been wisely said that there is no such thing as a healthy church in which the men flourish but the women do not. In this short book, DeYoung brings his characteristic knack for explaining complex topics with clarity and verve. I’m grateful for this resource because it communicates that complementarianism—rightly understood and practiced—is not just true, but also beautiful. And it’s good news for men and women alike.
January 4, 2022
The book lives up to its subtitle. In a short, accessible book, DeYoung carefully, clearly, and winsomely explains a biblical view of complementary roles for men and women. Most of the books consists of chapters walking through passages of Scripture most relevant to the question at hand. Though the book title suggests that it's primarily concerned about the role of men and women in church, I think it serves as a helpful introduction into a biblical view of the sexes more broadly.
I don't agree with every conclusion (for instance, DeYoung argues against women serving as deacons). But even where I disagree, DeYoung helped me press into Scripture more carefully. Moreover, I found myself agreeing with DeYoung's representation of my view, even where he critiqued it (always a good sign!). I found myself immensely edified by the book simply because of how much time it spent walking through the Bible.
The main thing I appreciate about this work is that it addresses a topic that often provokes much heat; but DeYoung doesn't spend much time arguing against, as much as he spends time showing the goodness of what the Bible says.
I don't agree with every conclusion (for instance, DeYoung argues against women serving as deacons). But even where I disagree, DeYoung helped me press into Scripture more carefully. Moreover, I found myself agreeing with DeYoung's representation of my view, even where he critiqued it (always a good sign!). I found myself immensely edified by the book simply because of how much time it spent walking through the Bible.
The main thing I appreciate about this work is that it addresses a topic that often provokes much heat; but DeYoung doesn't spend much time arguing against, as much as he spends time showing the goodness of what the Bible says.
July 21, 2023
I am firmly complementarian, but I was so disappointed by this book. It started off well, but the more I read, the more I didn’t agree with all of his exegesis or interpretation.
I found this book to be very lacking and even tone deaf in some areas. For example, when listing what women “could” do, he literally lists “sewing curtains.” What?
The author suggests that women potentially shouldn’t even be allowed to teach high school boys because “when should a boy be considered a man?” That could literally be a 14 year old boy—that’s a child.
I believe women should choose not to be pastors in submission to God’s word, but I do not believe that women are incapable of preaching. There’s a huge difference there. I felt like the author would have women say not only that they shouldn’t but that they can’t.
I am usually a big fan of this author, but he missed the mark on this one. 😅 I didn’t disagree with everything that he said, but I disliked the majority of his presentation and took issue with several aspects (or really applications) of his position, even as a complementarian myself.
I found this book to be very lacking and even tone deaf in some areas. For example, when listing what women “could” do, he literally lists “sewing curtains.” What?
The author suggests that women potentially shouldn’t even be allowed to teach high school boys because “when should a boy be considered a man?” That could literally be a 14 year old boy—that’s a child.
I believe women should choose not to be pastors in submission to God’s word, but I do not believe that women are incapable of preaching. There’s a huge difference there. I felt like the author would have women say not only that they shouldn’t but that they can’t.
I am usually a big fan of this author, but he missed the mark on this one. 😅 I didn’t disagree with everything that he said, but I disliked the majority of his presentation and took issue with several aspects (or really applications) of his position, even as a complementarian myself.
December 20, 2021
If you are familiar with CBMW and Piper/Grudem's old work, this is a short summary of the primary arguments that compilation deals with. Complementarians: You are better off using the original from 1991 if you wish to argue substantively for your perspective. This handbook's brevity does not do justice to the complexity of the topic. The author, attempting to make the content easily accessible, actually hurts his own argument with incomplete explanations, patronizing summaries (offering his view w/o showing evidence), and cultural assumptions. This booklet comes across as a pastoral "trust me" rather than a convincing argument for why his view should be accepted as accurate.
July 9, 2021
Short, concise, biblical. I try to read everything KDY writes. Maleness and femaleness actually mean something. Paints a beautiful (yet brief) picture of complementarity based on Gen 1-2 then surveys the other pertinent texts.
Worth noting that his vision of complementarianism is not rooted in the functional subordination of the Son (which, if you ask me, is a positive).
Worth noting that his vision of complementarianism is not rooted in the functional subordination of the Son (which, if you ask me, is a positive).
April 29, 2021
Kevin DeYoung's book is supposedly not trying to argue for his position, so much as help those who already agree with him, think through how to apply it. I appreciate the idea of what he's trying to do, but, frankly, I felt like he just did it poorly. It was really hard to understand how his exegesis led to the applications that he made... it really seemed that he made exegetical and application decisions based on what he already practiced and then found that the text agreed with him, but I almost never understood how he got there (a lot of "huh?"s and "what"s). There were a few sections with some merit, but not much. He somehow worked through 1 Corinthians 11 phrase by phrase ignoring the center of the chiasm (because of the angels). Was this because it didn't fit his point or because he didn't know what to do with it? Not sure, but structurally this is absolutely central to Paul's argument. He dismissed arguments about examples of women in leadership in the OT (Deborah, Huldah, etc.) very quickly and easily, yet seemed to think it quite significant that Jesus chose only men to be his disciples. When people in the Old or New Testaments align with their cultural context, it is somehow significant. You didn't have women leading Assyria, Babylon, or Persia either. There is a real lack of thinking through how the Bible relates to the culture in which it was written.
My review is not really intended to be a critique of his viewpoint, but how much sense his view made (in other words, I'm judging it based on effectiveness not how much I agree with it). But I am fairly equally annoyed with most books on both sides of this issue. They are just so poorly argued and don't seem to me to be able to ask the right questions.
It's rare I like books on this topic from either side of the debate. They just never seem to effectively deal with the process of moving from an ancient text in an ancient context to the very different world we inhabit today. Complementarians somehow (I don't quite know how they do this) end up taking texts written in an ancient patriarchal society and find that it affirms some strange hybrid of 1950s and 1990s America. Egalitarians somehow find that Jesus and Paul would agree with (and even somewhat proposed) 21st-century egalitarianism - something that never would have occurred to people in an ancient context. The Bible does not teach either, frankly. The Bible was written in a patriarchal context; it assumes a patriarchal culture - it does not explicitly undermine it - yet Scripture elevates and honors women in that context without condemning the basic way men and women and husbands and wives related to one another in the first-century world. But neither side of the debate seems to really get this. Paul is either intent on keeping women in their place or an enthusiastic egalitarian. Paul is a pastor speaking into difficult and complicated individual church situations. This is not a question to him and he is not thinking in these categories (he is thinking about men and women, husbands and wives, but he is not thinking about the question of complementarianism and egalitarianism). It seems to me that no one really effectively addresses why the churches Paul planted had these "problems" to begin with. I know they try (usually poorly, frankly), but to effectively work from the biblical text to its application today, you have to deal with Paul's first-century context in a way that (if you take Scripture as authoritative, as I do) understands the cultural gulf yet maintains Biblical authority and its ability to speak into ours.
My review is not really intended to be a critique of his viewpoint, but how much sense his view made (in other words, I'm judging it based on effectiveness not how much I agree with it). But I am fairly equally annoyed with most books on both sides of this issue. They are just so poorly argued and don't seem to me to be able to ask the right questions.
It's rare I like books on this topic from either side of the debate. They just never seem to effectively deal with the process of moving from an ancient text in an ancient context to the very different world we inhabit today. Complementarians somehow (I don't quite know how they do this) end up taking texts written in an ancient patriarchal society and find that it affirms some strange hybrid of 1950s and 1990s America. Egalitarians somehow find that Jesus and Paul would agree with (and even somewhat proposed) 21st-century egalitarianism - something that never would have occurred to people in an ancient context. The Bible does not teach either, frankly. The Bible was written in a patriarchal context; it assumes a patriarchal culture - it does not explicitly undermine it - yet Scripture elevates and honors women in that context without condemning the basic way men and women and husbands and wives related to one another in the first-century world. But neither side of the debate seems to really get this. Paul is either intent on keeping women in their place or an enthusiastic egalitarian. Paul is a pastor speaking into difficult and complicated individual church situations. This is not a question to him and he is not thinking in these categories (he is thinking about men and women, husbands and wives, but he is not thinking about the question of complementarianism and egalitarianism). It seems to me that no one really effectively addresses why the churches Paul planted had these "problems" to begin with. I know they try (usually poorly, frankly), but to effectively work from the biblical text to its application today, you have to deal with Paul's first-century context in a way that (if you take Scripture as authoritative, as I do) understands the cultural gulf yet maintains Biblical authority and its ability to speak into ours.
July 21, 2021
A very clear and helpful primer that meets its intended purpose. I found the exposition incredibly helpful as DeYoung lays out different interpretations of each text but asserts which he agrees with and why. One of my only complaints is that he explores some complex theological issues (ESS) and references early church documents that the standard church member (me) might find slightly confusing without more background or context.
August 17, 2021
I’m a complementarian and agreed with the majority of this book. However, I wish it would have presented more of the joy of living out of the roles and distinctions God designed. It seemed like everything was presented as “This is right. End of story,” and it is right, but it’s also good. It’s also for our joy and for our highest flourishing. God’s design for us is not restrictive but freeing and joy-inducing. I wish that would have been emphasized more in this book.
October 23, 2023
If DeYoung writes something, I read it. He hasn’t disappointed me yet.
November 23, 2022
This was an excellent, succint read on men and women's role in the church, based in Biblical truth and foundational roles.He disusses the common arguments for women pastors, modern feminist ideas of womenhood based on Biblical characters like Deborah, etc. I really enjoyed DeYoung's approach her, and I'll leave you with this quote: "I'm convinced that in most cases if men behave and lead as godly, humble, self-sacrificing biblical men, then women will happily live and flourish in the responsibilities God has designed for them....guys, let's not make the heartbeat of our message, "Women, sit down," when it should be, "Men, stand up". "
So often when women want to lead and organize (things they do extremely well) it's because men in the church have not taken these roles upon themselves in a God-obeying way. By striving to each fulfill our roles laid out in Genesis, men and women can live in a Godhonoring way that brings joy and fulfillment to both genders.
So often when women want to lead and organize (things they do extremely well) it's because men in the church have not taken these roles upon themselves in a God-obeying way. By striving to each fulfill our roles laid out in Genesis, men and women can live in a Godhonoring way that brings joy and fulfillment to both genders.
September 26, 2023
I didn’t enjoy this one. Very soft, felt apologetic for his own opinion.
February 8, 2023
This book is a clear and concise presentation of the complementarian perspective on men and women. DeYoung is exegetical in his approach and careful in his applications. That said, I was disappointed that he did not interact in more detail with scholarship on the other side, especially Craig Keener’s Paul, Women, and Wives. And there are places where DeYoung seems to be more restrictive in his conclusions than some other complementarians (such as Kathy Keller). I also did not find all of his arguments persuasive. But for a short, clear, and winsome primer on “thick” complementarianism, this is the best book I’ve seen so far.
January 24, 2023
Very well done. DeYoung provides a characteristically concise but weighty overview of the biblical teaching on gender roles. The only thing keeping me from giving it five stars is his chapter on 1 Corinthians 11, which I felt was more confusing than helpful at times and would have benefited from some tightening up of his arguments. That said, the rest of the book is wonderful, and the last chapter (“Growing Up as Boys and Girls”) is alone worth the price.
June 20, 2024
So good! I’d wager to say that this is the best intro to understanding a truly biblical perspective on men and women in the church, what Scripture wisely outlines on this matter, and we should think in terms of principle. On top of all that, it’s extremely accessible!
April 13, 2021
Dr. DeYoung takes his typical irenic, witty, and incisive approach in tackling wide theological topics and making them accessible. Overall, this is solid treatment of Biblical defined manhood and womanhood and what that means for the family and the church. I don't think most staunch Complementarians will appreciate this work and certainly Egalitarians will abhor his arguments, but I found his take reasoned and biblical. I'm still thinking through his exegesis of 1 Cor 11, 1 Cor 14, 1 Tim 2 as they relate to women in the worship context, specifically to prayer in corporate worship.
April 27, 2021
One of the most contested issues in the church in recent days concerns the role of men and women in the church. What are they commanded to do? What are they prohibited from doing? The chief question among many people is this: “Can a woman preach on a Sunday morning to a congregation that consists of both men and women? Kevin DeYoung tackles this thorny question in his excellent book, Men and Women in the Church. The subtitle captures the essence of the book: A Short, Biblical, Practical Introduction.
The book is arranged in two parts. Part 1 focuses on biblical exposition. DeYoung begins in the Old Testament and works his way through Scripture and highlights the pertinent themes concerning the role of men and women in the church. Readers must bear in mind that the purpose of this book is to introduce the central themes and cause them to take a deeper dive into more comprehensive treatments of this subject.
Part 2 contains questions and applications. DeYoung explores common questions that pertain to men and women in the local church and he provides clear biblical answers.
One section that is particularly helpful concerns parenting children and teaching them their respective roles as aspiring men and women. DeYoung is intrigued (as am I) with John Piper’s helpful question: “If your son asks you what it means to be a man, or your daughter asks you what it means to be a woman, what would you say?” DeYoung builds on this thought-provoking question and explores ways for parents to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. He concludes:
While the arguments in DeYoung’s work are not as detailed as those found in works like Recovering Manhood and Womanhood, edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem, the arguments are still substantial. Indeed, DeYoung’s arguments are concise. But more important the arguments are biblical. I commend Men and Women in the Church to anyone who will take time to wrestle with DeYoung’s essential arguments. My hope is that many readers will be convinced. The result is a strengthened and more obedient church.
I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review.
The book is arranged in two parts. Part 1 focuses on biblical exposition. DeYoung begins in the Old Testament and works his way through Scripture and highlights the pertinent themes concerning the role of men and women in the church. Readers must bear in mind that the purpose of this book is to introduce the central themes and cause them to take a deeper dive into more comprehensive treatments of this subject.
Part 2 contains questions and applications. DeYoung explores common questions that pertain to men and women in the local church and he provides clear biblical answers.
One section that is particularly helpful concerns parenting children and teaching them their respective roles as aspiring men and women. DeYoung is intrigued (as am I) with John Piper’s helpful question: “If your son asks you what it means to be a man, or your daughter asks you what it means to be a woman, what would you say?” DeYoung builds on this thought-provoking question and explores ways for parents to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. He concludes:
What do we say then to our sons and daughters who ask, ‘Daddy and Mommy, what does it mean to be a man or a woman?’ Tell them they are made in the image of God and for union with Christ. And then tell your daughters that they should strive to be beautiful in the way God wants them to be beautiful. And tell your sons to strive to be strong in all the ways God wants them to be strong.
While the arguments in DeYoung’s work are not as detailed as those found in works like Recovering Manhood and Womanhood, edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem, the arguments are still substantial. Indeed, DeYoung’s arguments are concise. But more important the arguments are biblical. I commend Men and Women in the Church to anyone who will take time to wrestle with DeYoung’s essential arguments. My hope is that many readers will be convinced. The result is a strengthened and more obedient church.
I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review.
January 9, 2023
The book's brevity will be a strength to some and a weakness to others. DeYoung wastes no ink in this densely packed little work, tackling the classic passages and answering the usual objections with considerable skill.
To be blunt: I agree with most, but not all of his conclusions. And that's fine. It's difficult to question his solid reasoning and presentation, though. There are also few areas that are helpfully challenging for me personally; in particular, DeYoung's critique of John Dickson's "Hearing Her Voice," a staple in our family of churches. Food for thought!
Overall, excellent, if not *quite* perfect!
To be blunt: I agree with most, but not all of his conclusions. And that's fine. It's difficult to question his solid reasoning and presentation, though. There are also few areas that are helpfully challenging for me personally; in particular, DeYoung's critique of John Dickson's "Hearing Her Voice," a staple in our family of churches. Food for thought!
Overall, excellent, if not *quite* perfect!
August 5, 2023
Thoughtful, practical, Scripture-saturated, and exegetically sound, Men and Women in the Church is a grounded and deeply helpful little book. Honest in the (few) ambiguities but unapologetic in explaining the clear directives of Scripture, Kevin DeYoung makes an excellent and compelling case for the way God designed Christian men and women to live and worship Him.
Also, DeYoung does not fall into the trap of only burdening women or only chastising men. He exhorts us both with conviction and grace, urging us to follow God’s calling and flourish in our roles with joy.
This is a book I will most definitely return to.
Also, DeYoung does not fall into the trap of only burdening women or only chastising men. He exhorts us both with conviction and grace, urging us to follow God’s calling and flourish in our roles with joy.
This is a book I will most definitely return to.
November 15, 2023
DeYoung succeeded in what he set out to do: to give us “an introductory and non-angsty walk through the requisite biblical texts on men and women in the church, with an eye toward clarification and application” (16).
He’s very gracious while being clear about his complementarían position. He doesn’t try to say everything, but what he does say is a great conversation starter for those with questions of men and women in the church in the home.
“The truest form of biblical complementarity calls on men to protect women, honor women, speak kindly and thoughtfully to women, and to find every appropriate way to learn from them and include them in life and ministry-in the home and in the church” (17).
He’s very gracious while being clear about his complementarían position. He doesn’t try to say everything, but what he does say is a great conversation starter for those with questions of men and women in the church in the home.
“The truest form of biblical complementarity calls on men to protect women, honor women, speak kindly and thoughtfully to women, and to find every appropriate way to learn from them and include them in life and ministry-in the home and in the church” (17).
March 24, 2021
What does it mean to be a “man”? What does it mean to be a “woman”?
When thinking about our culture’s current confusion on the matter, considering the Biblical teaching regarding gender roles in the home and church can feel like one is trying to defend gramophones as good stereo systems–did you ride here on a dinosaur? Further, even among conservative evangelicals there has been a growing rift on this issue. How are Christians to respond?
Enter: Kevin DeYoung
DeYoung has a knack for writing clear, concise, and helpful books that magically are under 200 pages. He does all of this, somehow, without leaving the reader feeling like they just were served a tic-tac for supper. His newest book, Men and Women in the Church: A Short, Biblical, Practical Introduction, is no different.
Tom Schreiner’s endorsement of the book states that this is now the “first book” he will recommend on the issue of gender roles in the home and church and it is hard to disagree. This will be a book I will hand out liberally to the members of my church. Read the rest of the review here: https://simsmarc.wordpress.com/2021/0...
When thinking about our culture’s current confusion on the matter, considering the Biblical teaching regarding gender roles in the home and church can feel like one is trying to defend gramophones as good stereo systems–did you ride here on a dinosaur? Further, even among conservative evangelicals there has been a growing rift on this issue. How are Christians to respond?
Enter: Kevin DeYoung
DeYoung has a knack for writing clear, concise, and helpful books that magically are under 200 pages. He does all of this, somehow, without leaving the reader feeling like they just were served a tic-tac for supper. His newest book, Men and Women in the Church: A Short, Biblical, Practical Introduction, is no different.
Tom Schreiner’s endorsement of the book states that this is now the “first book” he will recommend on the issue of gender roles in the home and church and it is hard to disagree. This will be a book I will hand out liberally to the members of my church. Read the rest of the review here: https://simsmarc.wordpress.com/2021/0...
January 28, 2025
Really insightful and important book in this cultural moment. A few disagreements here and there, but overall this book was very biblically rooted in all claims it made!
March 29, 2024
I really love the way deyoung writes and you can tell he put so much care and love into writing this book! Overall big fan and learned a lot from it.
July 11, 2021
I disagreed with several points throughout the book, and you may or may not as well. But either way, DeYoung’s winsome writing style will draw you in and make you want to agree with him. Overall, very good book.
June 4, 2025
Really did love it. He does a great job of explaining the Bible’s stance on men and women, who are created equal but different. And I appreciate him pointing out how he clarifies things, points out that some Bible verses and topics are or can be controversial. All of what he’s saying can be hurtful if not read in context, taking one sentence out of a paragraph completely disregards all he’s saying. Much like some can do with the Bible.
I agree with him on what he’s saying, I find myself in the complementarianism camp and believe it’s Bible backed, and actually really freeing for women and not the opposite, which is what society can make it out to be sometimes. Makes me glad to be a woman! Seems like men have the harder job.
Notable quotes below!
There is no one more pro-woman than Jesus, and no one-by His example and in His very person-who did more to affirm true manhood either.”
“Finally I believe that in all of this the most important message is not what women cannot do but what men must do. […] It is all too common for the reversal of the garden to play out in our churches. Yes, women bear responsibility in that reversal, but, as we saw with Adam, God holds men ultimately responsible. I’m convinced that in most cases if men behave and lead as Godly, humble, self-sacrificing Biblical men, then women will happily live and flourish in the responsibilities God has designed for them.”
“The fact that men were created to lead does not mean that men lead to the exclusion of helping or that women help and are never able to exercise leadership.”
I agree with him on what he’s saying, I find myself in the complementarianism camp and believe it’s Bible backed, and actually really freeing for women and not the opposite, which is what society can make it out to be sometimes. Makes me glad to be a woman! Seems like men have the harder job.
Notable quotes below!
There is no one more pro-woman than Jesus, and no one-by His example and in His very person-who did more to affirm true manhood either.”
“Finally I believe that in all of this the most important message is not what women cannot do but what men must do. […] It is all too common for the reversal of the garden to play out in our churches. Yes, women bear responsibility in that reversal, but, as we saw with Adam, God holds men ultimately responsible. I’m convinced that in most cases if men behave and lead as Godly, humble, self-sacrificing Biblical men, then women will happily live and flourish in the responsibilities God has designed for them.”
“The fact that men were created to lead does not mean that men lead to the exclusion of helping or that women help and are never able to exercise leadership.”
May 10, 2021
This short book accomplishes DeYoung’s goal of providing a simple understanding of the complementary roles of men and women inside and outside of the church. He works through different passages, from Genesis to the New Testament Epistles, that talk about the differing roles of sexes. DeYoung does write from a Reformed Presbyterian view; thus, his this book solely focuses on the polity of the church in that context. It would be helpful had he argued against liberal egalitarian views and against the rising LGBTQ movement, but had he have done so he would have had a much longer book on his hands. Overall, a helpful book (even for baptists or non-denominational) that seeks to be faithful to the Scriptures and presenting a 1,000 foot view of what the Bible teaches about men and women.
December 17, 2023
The format of this book was really compelling and I hope another like it comes out. It’s short, only a little over 100 pages, and it takes a passage by passage approach, going through Ephesians 5, 1 Timothy 2, 1 Corinthians 11 and 14, 1 Peter 3, and Titus 2.
He is also pastoral in tone, and tries to make the book accessible at a deep level to the average church member,
which is admirable. That being said, he gets across a certain social conservatism rather than Paul’s heart in most passages he goes over. He also fails to adequately push back against certain hyper conservative interpretations, even while saying he disagrees with them, in order not to offend others in the PCA. Not allowing for women to serve in the post of deacon is tough for me, even if you don’t see 1 Timothy 3 talking about female deacons but rather the wives of deacons, we get a pretty clear reference to Phoebe as “a deacon in the church of Cenchreae” Romans 16:1
I would not recommend this book, even if I agree with him on many points, there are a significant number of issues regarding interpretation and the way that would complicate the issue for so many!
He is also pastoral in tone, and tries to make the book accessible at a deep level to the average church member,
which is admirable. That being said, he gets across a certain social conservatism rather than Paul’s heart in most passages he goes over. He also fails to adequately push back against certain hyper conservative interpretations, even while saying he disagrees with them, in order not to offend others in the PCA. Not allowing for women to serve in the post of deacon is tough for me, even if you don’t see 1 Timothy 3 talking about female deacons but rather the wives of deacons, we get a pretty clear reference to Phoebe as “a deacon in the church of Cenchreae” Romans 16:1
I would not recommend this book, even if I agree with him on many points, there are a significant number of issues regarding interpretation and the way that would complicate the issue for so many!
June 12, 2023
Honestly disappointed. The introduction held out the possibility of this being a helpful short book on the topic, but throughout I felt a bent of trying to defend the biblical position to not be antagonistic towards women. The chapter on 1 Corinthians took me by surprise to learn he allows women to participate in public reading and prayer during the worship service. I was thankful for him to defend that the duties of men and women are not arbitrary but fitting according to their created nature. Overall the book rings true to the criticisms of complimentarians softening biblical teaching to be more appealing in their response to feminism.
August 21, 2024
If someone wanted a short, digestible, yet thorough & biblically based resource on complimentarianism, I would point them here!
I was challenged by some of the things I read and appreciated DeYoung’s refusal to shy away from counterarguments and always using scripture as his defense while managing to maintain a reasonable, kind disposition towards those who disagree.
This book is about biblical manhood and womanhood broadly, not just specific roles within the Church.
A lot of time is given to marriage & the family (which I’m grateful for), but I had to deduct a star due to the somewhat limited application for singles — women especially.
I was challenged by some of the things I read and appreciated DeYoung’s refusal to shy away from counterarguments and always using scripture as his defense while managing to maintain a reasonable, kind disposition towards those who disagree.
This book is about biblical manhood and womanhood broadly, not just specific roles within the Church.
A lot of time is given to marriage & the family (which I’m grateful for), but I had to deduct a star due to the somewhat limited application for singles — women especially.
May 25, 2022
I don't know how I feel about this, as an unmarried young woman I don't think it helped me in terms of practicality perhaps Kevin had married women and mothers in mind. Other than that It did help me understand the case for Complementarianism.
It is short and Kevin states this clearly but for someone coming from an egalitarian background I don't think it was the right fit for me, I probably need a more detailed book on the topic.
Had a lot of cliché analogies but otherwise a fairly good book
It is short and Kevin states this clearly but for someone coming from an egalitarian background I don't think it was the right fit for me, I probably need a more detailed book on the topic.
Had a lot of cliché analogies but otherwise a fairly good book
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