Midnight 99

by Ashley Christine

A classic hard-boiled whodunit, where the victim is a 7-foot-tall Lizard Reptilian OverlordMeet Tulsa Kalhoun. Once upon a time she was a well-respected, pantsuit-wearing broadcast journalist—until an inconvenient supernatural awakening left her career and sanity in tatters. Now she stumbles through this world peddling a private pharmacy of perception-expanding herbal narcotics, made with plants you’ve never heard of from places not found on maps. (Like Delaware.)But when Tulsa wakes up in a hotel bathroom, blacked out from a particularly indulgent vision quest bender, she knows that she's finally supremely and epically screwed. Because it's clearly not her hotel bathroom (for starters the pristine tiles are far too lacking in vomit stains). And there's a Big Dead Lizard on the toilet.Being saddled with the corpse of a supposedly unkillable Lizard Overlord on the eve of the secret unveiling of Earth as the ultimate reptilian vacation destination was definitely not the plan, yo.With no memory of what happened, and an ever more tenuous hold on the daily cocktail of alien pharmacologicals that barely keep her tethered to this plain of existence, Tulsa has to retrace her steps of the last week searching for clues of how she got to her current predicament. She’ll have to wade through a swamp of daunting challenges and colorfully shady characters like the Illuminati, the Youthinati, debauched Reptilian tourists, kinky gray aliens who are way too into butt stuff, Neckties, Necronauts, off-brand soda, her super-hot half-human half-Lizard ex-girlfriend and her own self-destructive tendencies.Confused yet?Tulsa sure is. Part fun romp. Part laxative. Part commentary on capitalism, global warming, the limits of human perception, and lizard dicks, Ash X’s debut novella Midnight 99 is a phantasmagoric, consciousness-expanding odyssey for the mind and genitals that keeps you guessing at every turn."Sci fi adventure, mixed in with a LGBT romance, liberally sprinkled with a whole lot of WTF… This book is chock full of amazingness. It starts off right away with the absolutely epic footnotes… The deeper you get into this story, the more you fall in love with Tulsa. ... Midnight 99 is a debut novella and it kicks off Ashley’s career with a bang. A glittery bang."—FANGIRL NATIONAbout the authorAsh X is a genderfluid nonsense maker who currently lives in Los Angeles. They are not, as some darkweb forums allege, 13 otters in a trenchcoat pretending to be a human. When not writing, Ash enjoys boxing, yoga, and diving to the bottom of the ocean to hunt for clams.

134 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 6, 2020

About the author

Ashley lives in the heart of beautiful Muskoka, Ontario with her two daughters.

Reviews

[Oliver Clarke · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time. That ending though. WHAT!!!???

[Robbie Vermillion · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very enjoyable

I gave this 4 stars as it is only an ebook novella and distinctly sets up a sequel that likely could have been combined into the novella to make a full novel. The book is very entertaining and funny and reminds me of John Dies in The End and fits right into that category of bizarre slacker books but is more noir than horror (whereas John Dies in the End is more horror).

[Evan Quinlan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best use of footnotes for joke delivery I have ever encountered.

The narrator's voice is addictive. I often wish I could see the world through Tulsa Kalhoun's eyes. It would make quarantine way less boring.

Recommended for anyone who wants to chuckle for several hours straight and anyone who likes extremely creative worldbuilding. Looking forward to the sequel!