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Holding Her Breath
SHORTLISTED FOR THE IRISH BOOK AWARDS 2021
'A stunning debut from this new Irish talent' STELLAR
A young woman comes of age in the shadow of her family's tragic past
When Beth Crowe starts university, she is shadowed by the ghost of her potential as a competitive swimmer. Free to create a fresh identity for herself, she finds herself among people who adore the poetry of her grandfather, Benjamin Crowe, who died tragically before she was born. She embarks on a secret relationship - and on a quest to discover the truth about Benjamin and his widow, her beloved grandmother Lydia. The quest brings her into an archive that no scholar has ever seen, and to a person who knows things about her family that nobody else knows.
Holding Her Breath is a razor-sharp, moving and seriously entertaining novel about complicated love stories, ambition and grief - and a young woman coming fully into her powers.
__________
'A stunning debut from this new Irish talent' STELLAR
A young woman comes of age in the shadow of her family's tragic past
When Beth Crowe starts university, she is shadowed by the ghost of her potential as a competitive swimmer. Free to create a fresh identity for herself, she finds herself among people who adore the poetry of her grandfather, Benjamin Crowe, who died tragically before she was born. She embarks on a secret relationship - and on a quest to discover the truth about Benjamin and his widow, her beloved grandmother Lydia. The quest brings her into an archive that no scholar has ever seen, and to a person who knows things about her family that nobody else knows.
Holding Her Breath is a razor-sharp, moving and seriously entertaining novel about complicated love stories, ambition and grief - and a young woman coming fully into her powers.
__________
246 pages, Paperback
First published June 17, 2021
65 people are currently reading
10096 people want to read
About the author
Eimear Ryan
9 books95 followersEimear Ryan is the author of a novel, Holding Her Breath (2021) and a sports memoir, The Grass Ceiling (2023), both published by Sandycove.
Her short fiction has appeared in Granta, The Dublin Review, The Stinging Fly, The Long Gaze Back (New Island) and Town & Country (Faber). She is a co-founder of the literary journal Banshee and its publishing imprint, Banshee Press.
She is a sports columnist with the Irish Examiner and has written about women in sport for Literary Hub, The 42, Image, Stranger’s Guide, Winter Papers and elsewhere. She lives in Cork city.
Her short fiction has appeared in Granta, The Dublin Review, The Stinging Fly, The Long Gaze Back (New Island) and Town & Country (Faber). She is a co-founder of the literary journal Banshee and its publishing imprint, Banshee Press.
She is a sports columnist with the Irish Examiner and has written about women in sport for Literary Hub, The 42, Image, Stranger’s Guide, Winter Papers and elsewhere. She lives in Cork city.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 353 reviews
January 2, 2022
3.75
very impressive debut, another staple coming of age story about going to university and trying to figure out who you are/what you want. female irish authors somehow just GET it.
very impressive debut, another staple coming of age story about going to university and trying to figure out who you are/what you want. female irish authors somehow just GET it.
June 22, 2022
irish literature will always fix me
April 27, 2022
Thank you to the publisher for an early copy for review on Netgalley. All thoughts & opinions are my own.
In her debut novel, Irish author Eimear Ryan explores family secrets and the legacy of trauma through the eyes of Beth Crowe.
Beth is a competitive swimmer entering her first year of university in Dublin. Her grandfather, Benjamin Crowe, is one of the most revered modern poets in Irish history, studied in school and mythologized due to his untimely death by suicide when he was only in his early 40s. Because Beth has such a strong connection to this lineage but never actually met her father—he died when Beth's mother was only a child—Beth struggles to make sense of her place in the narrative of his life. Additionally, Beth has had her own issues in the last year when she blows a huge chance at a swimming competition and takes a year off from her sport.
Entering college is a time for Beth to make new friends (like her boisterous roommate, Sadie) and engage in intellectual discussions while getting back on track with her swimming career. However, discussions about her grandfather, especially from the postdoc student, Justin, who seems to keep orbiting around Beth's life, resurface questions about her grandfather's death and what her family, including her grandmother Lydia, may be keeping from Beth.
I am a sucker for anything set in Ireland. This story was particularly fun for me because many of the places the author writes about are places I spent a lot of time during my own study abroad experience in Ireland. So it's hard not to say I'm biased, but I still found the story, the central mystery and Beth's coming of age plotline to be fully engaging and deftly written.
This story is subtle. The drama unfolds very peacefully, as Beth uncovers layer by layer the central mystery of her grandfather's death. It's not flashy and shocking, but more of a poignant tribute. It asks questions about artists and how we can, if at all, separate their art from their life; does the legacy of Ben's suicide inform the reading of his poetry or can we only study artists based on the work they produce? Considering this as an academic is quite different than that of a family member of the deceased. Beth's journey of self-discovery coincides with this sort of unraveling in her family's history, and she is left to piece it and herself back together.
In her debut novel, Irish author Eimear Ryan explores family secrets and the legacy of trauma through the eyes of Beth Crowe.
Beth is a competitive swimmer entering her first year of university in Dublin. Her grandfather, Benjamin Crowe, is one of the most revered modern poets in Irish history, studied in school and mythologized due to his untimely death by suicide when he was only in his early 40s. Because Beth has such a strong connection to this lineage but never actually met her father—he died when Beth's mother was only a child—Beth struggles to make sense of her place in the narrative of his life. Additionally, Beth has had her own issues in the last year when she blows a huge chance at a swimming competition and takes a year off from her sport.
Entering college is a time for Beth to make new friends (like her boisterous roommate, Sadie) and engage in intellectual discussions while getting back on track with her swimming career. However, discussions about her grandfather, especially from the postdoc student, Justin, who seems to keep orbiting around Beth's life, resurface questions about her grandfather's death and what her family, including her grandmother Lydia, may be keeping from Beth.
I am a sucker for anything set in Ireland. This story was particularly fun for me because many of the places the author writes about are places I spent a lot of time during my own study abroad experience in Ireland. So it's hard not to say I'm biased, but I still found the story, the central mystery and Beth's coming of age plotline to be fully engaging and deftly written.
This story is subtle. The drama unfolds very peacefully, as Beth uncovers layer by layer the central mystery of her grandfather's death. It's not flashy and shocking, but more of a poignant tribute. It asks questions about artists and how we can, if at all, separate their art from their life; does the legacy of Ben's suicide inform the reading of his poetry or can we only study artists based on the work they produce? Considering this as an academic is quite different than that of a family member of the deceased. Beth's journey of self-discovery coincides with this sort of unraveling in her family's history, and she is left to piece it and herself back together.
December 6, 2022
Some of the lingo I didn't quite understand. It's also a very slow burner of a book. No real climax or shock factor, but was an easy going read for those who enjoy the light reads.
May 17, 2021
Holding Her Breath is a novel that combines friendship, relationships, a personal crisis and a family mystery into a coming of age tale that is so intimate and satisfying in its telling and its denouement.
The book centres on Beth Crowe, studying psychology in Trinity and swimming laps of the pool there, finding her way again after crashing out of competitive swimming.
Beth’s grandfather was a renowned Irish poet which results in Beth becoming something of an object of fascination on campus. In particular, she attracts the attention of Justin, a post-doc in the English department who encourages Beth to find out more about the relationship between her grandparents and thus solve some of the mysteries pertaining to the late poet’s life and death.
I don’t want to give anything further of the plot away, suffice to say this book is beautifully written and nicely paced, with compelling dialogue and a gorgeous mix of settings in Trinity, Beth’s home place and West Cork. It’s a really assured debut novel that deserves lots of attention. 4/5⭐️
*Holding Her Breath will be published on 17 June 2021. I’m grateful to have read an advance copy of the book courtesy of the publisher @penguinbooks via @netgalley. As always, this is an honest review.*
The book centres on Beth Crowe, studying psychology in Trinity and swimming laps of the pool there, finding her way again after crashing out of competitive swimming.
Beth’s grandfather was a renowned Irish poet which results in Beth becoming something of an object of fascination on campus. In particular, she attracts the attention of Justin, a post-doc in the English department who encourages Beth to find out more about the relationship between her grandparents and thus solve some of the mysteries pertaining to the late poet’s life and death.
I don’t want to give anything further of the plot away, suffice to say this book is beautifully written and nicely paced, with compelling dialogue and a gorgeous mix of settings in Trinity, Beth’s home place and West Cork. It’s a really assured debut novel that deserves lots of attention. 4/5⭐️
*Holding Her Breath will be published on 17 June 2021. I’m grateful to have read an advance copy of the book courtesy of the publisher @penguinbooks via @netgalley. As always, this is an honest review.*
June 27, 2023
And now I know I do not read near enough Irish literature. This was a really well done coming of age story. Beth, had to cope with finding herself again after her swimming career didn't end up following the trajectory she first imagined.
I thought that the affair with Justin was really off-putting, but I like when the writing can make you feel something (even if that something is disgust). I loved the character growth of seeing Beth walk away from that, because of her own standards, although I wished she would've done it sooner.
I loved the big reveal about the grandfather's romance at the end and the lgbtqia love story that didn't have a happy ending, but did have happiness.
Bravo
I thought that the affair with Justin was really off-putting, but I like when the writing can make you feel something (even if that something is disgust). I loved the character growth of seeing Beth walk away from that, because of her own standards, although I wished she would've done it sooner.
I loved the big reveal about the grandfather's romance at the end and the lgbtqia love story that didn't have a happy ending, but did have happiness.
Bravo
August 29, 2022
HOLDING HER BREATH
Eimear Ryan
This was a debut for Irish author Ryan and I loved the Irish setting. Central to the story was Beth, a former competitive swimmer whose Grandfather had been a famous poet who ended his life. I really liked Beth as she attempted to overcome her shattered dreams of Olympic Gold and find her place on the University's swim team while she is settling into a new academic field. At first, I wasn't sure why Beth seemed so emotionally stunted but then as her mother and Grandmother were introduced and Beth's driven nature was revealed more it became clear that her life was fairly complicated and that swimming had taken up most of her life. I think that all three generations hid behind Beth's swimming to avoid in-depth family discussions.
Picking up English as her major, her understanding of how adored her Grandfather's work is expanded just as much as his death was pondered. Surprisingly Beth knows little about her Grandfather as her mother and grandmother have not spoken about him at great lengths. Beth assumes that it is because of her gran's deeply felt grief about the loss of her husband, but is uncertain if this is factual or not. As her Grandmother declines, Beth's search for family history intensifies and she discovers facts that are little known but change the course of Beth's life.
I enjoyed Holding Her Breath and ended up thinking that it was actually a love story on several levels. The book jacket promises that the story was a "razor-sharp, moving, and seriously entertaining novel about complicated love stories, ambition, and grief" and I found it so.
4 stars
Happy Reading!
Eimear Ryan
This was a debut for Irish author Ryan and I loved the Irish setting. Central to the story was Beth, a former competitive swimmer whose Grandfather had been a famous poet who ended his life. I really liked Beth as she attempted to overcome her shattered dreams of Olympic Gold and find her place on the University's swim team while she is settling into a new academic field. At first, I wasn't sure why Beth seemed so emotionally stunted but then as her mother and Grandmother were introduced and Beth's driven nature was revealed more it became clear that her life was fairly complicated and that swimming had taken up most of her life. I think that all three generations hid behind Beth's swimming to avoid in-depth family discussions.
Picking up English as her major, her understanding of how adored her Grandfather's work is expanded just as much as his death was pondered. Surprisingly Beth knows little about her Grandfather as her mother and grandmother have not spoken about him at great lengths. Beth assumes that it is because of her gran's deeply felt grief about the loss of her husband, but is uncertain if this is factual or not. As her Grandmother declines, Beth's search for family history intensifies and she discovers facts that are little known but change the course of Beth's life.
I enjoyed Holding Her Breath and ended up thinking that it was actually a love story on several levels. The book jacket promises that the story was a "razor-sharp, moving, and seriously entertaining novel about complicated love stories, ambition, and grief" and I found it so.
4 stars
Happy Reading!
July 30, 2022
4 - 4.5 stars.
This was a gorgeous and moving read. It follows 20-year-old Beth, a first year university student and former competitive swimmer, as she comes of age in the shadow of her family's tragic legacy.
Beth's late grandfather, Ben, whom she never met, is one of the country’s most celebrated poets. His works are included on the Leaving Cert syllabus and studied by her new college classmates, including her roommate, Sadie. What makes Ben's work most intriguing, of course, is his death by suicide, and while Beth has deliberately kept her distance from his work, and her mother and grandmother have continually rejected opportunities for interview and requests for access to Ben's archive, scholars of the literary community obsess over his last days and the absence of a suicide note.
When Beth draws the attention of Justin, a charming postdoc who is researching Ben’s poetry, she begins to explore the facets of her grandfather's life, drawing her into the mystery protected by the women in her family.
The novel also touches on Beth's breakdown, which ruined her Olympic hopes, and her attempts to carve out a new identity that includes university and swimming. I loved the passages about swimming; the struggles of the sport and Beth's relationship with her body and physical power.
The writing is really striking, often vulnerable and always beautiful. I loved Beth as a character and enjoyed the author's blending of coming-of-age tale, mystery, contemporary romance and sport. A wonderful book about family, identity, secrets and legacy.
This was a gorgeous and moving read. It follows 20-year-old Beth, a first year university student and former competitive swimmer, as she comes of age in the shadow of her family's tragic legacy.
Beth's late grandfather, Ben, whom she never met, is one of the country’s most celebrated poets. His works are included on the Leaving Cert syllabus and studied by her new college classmates, including her roommate, Sadie. What makes Ben's work most intriguing, of course, is his death by suicide, and while Beth has deliberately kept her distance from his work, and her mother and grandmother have continually rejected opportunities for interview and requests for access to Ben's archive, scholars of the literary community obsess over his last days and the absence of a suicide note.
When Beth draws the attention of Justin, a charming postdoc who is researching Ben’s poetry, she begins to explore the facets of her grandfather's life, drawing her into the mystery protected by the women in her family.
The novel also touches on Beth's breakdown, which ruined her Olympic hopes, and her attempts to carve out a new identity that includes university and swimming. I loved the passages about swimming; the struggles of the sport and Beth's relationship with her body and physical power.
The writing is really striking, often vulnerable and always beautiful. I loved Beth as a character and enjoyed the author's blending of coming-of-age tale, mystery, contemporary romance and sport. A wonderful book about family, identity, secrets and legacy.
August 24, 2022
I found Ryan’s writing to be masterful and nuanced. The powder dynamics explored combined with the unique sense of Irish melancholy and humor really made the book for me. I will definitely be looking out for further work from this author.
“They walk to the end of the pier as three generations, three overlapping timelines. Beth thinks of what she might say if she met herself, a year younger, walking the promenade. You will be humbled, she would say. You will suffer. You’ll lose Lydia. You will fall in love and you’ll walk away. You will reckon with your failure and learn to love the water again. You will read poetry. You will go on the trail of a suicide and find a love story instead.” Page 243
“They walk to the end of the pier as three generations, three overlapping timelines. Beth thinks of what she might say if she met herself, a year younger, walking the promenade. You will be humbled, she would say. You will suffer. You’ll lose Lydia. You will fall in love and you’ll walk away. You will reckon with your failure and learn to love the water again. You will read poetry. You will go on the trail of a suicide and find a love story instead.” Page 243
August 7, 2021
Holding Her breath is a coming of age story centred around Beth Crowe who is the granddaughter of famous Irish poet. She finds herself on the path of discovery not only of herself but of her family history. She finds herself engrossed in the world of her Gran father she wants to learn more about his poems and she wants to understand what led to his timely death. Whilst on this journey she is also trying to love swimming again which she partakes in as a competitive sport.
This story is told in third person and actually is done fantastically. The narrator makes us feel like we are part of beths world, it is hard at times to be a fly on the wall knowing the mistakes that she is going to make. But she is only 20 years old and it’s her first time away from home mistakes are going to happen. I find the way Beth interacts with others to be very interesting, especially with her roommate Sadie who by all accounts is the complete opposite too Beth as well as a very important part of the year of the book. Beth seems to have a really unhealthy attachment to serial killers and it made me wonder what genre this book was in when I first started reading it. I wondered if she was going to turnout to be a secret serial killer! I won’t spoil it but let’s just say it definitely falls in the YA section.
This book explores so many different things that many young people experience for the first time when going off to uni sex, alcohol, who the heck am I! Seems to make all her decisions based around other people’s feelings and it’s almost as if she is breaking free and learning to find the answers herself. Although her interactions with Jason are questionable and I will leave it at that.
I must say I really loved her Gran Lydia who by all accounts is an absolute bada**! She is your typical stubborn old lady. She holds the answers but isn’t willing to tell them and I mean that literally, you will understand.
The use of poetry throughout the book really adds an element of almost sophistication to a book in this genre. I myself absolutely love poetry so any kind of poetry in fiction always draws me in just a little bit closer. It’s really fascinating actually seeing the links of the poems to Beth in modern days when these poems would have been written in the early 80s. There is one poem in particular that academics have been trying to decipher over the years and this seems to be the central focus for Beth throughout the book.
All in all this was really easy feel good book. I would recommend to anyone who enjoys the young adult genre all anyone who is on a journey self discovery themselves. The book really demonstrates that there really is never truly one correct answer. The book itself really brings forth the questions of do we ever truly know anyone? As well as, will we ever truly know ourselves? I will not go too deeply on that subject because well I’m still on my sad journey! I write this book 3 stars really enjoyed it and I will definitely be recommending.
Thank you to netgalley, the author and the publishers for the free digital advanced copy of holding her breath in exchange for my fair and honest opinions.
This story is told in third person and actually is done fantastically. The narrator makes us feel like we are part of beths world, it is hard at times to be a fly on the wall knowing the mistakes that she is going to make. But she is only 20 years old and it’s her first time away from home mistakes are going to happen. I find the way Beth interacts with others to be very interesting, especially with her roommate Sadie who by all accounts is the complete opposite too Beth as well as a very important part of the year of the book. Beth seems to have a really unhealthy attachment to serial killers and it made me wonder what genre this book was in when I first started reading it. I wondered if she was going to turnout to be a secret serial killer! I won’t spoil it but let’s just say it definitely falls in the YA section.
This book explores so many different things that many young people experience for the first time when going off to uni sex, alcohol, who the heck am I! Seems to make all her decisions based around other people’s feelings and it’s almost as if she is breaking free and learning to find the answers herself. Although her interactions with Jason are questionable and I will leave it at that.
I must say I really loved her Gran Lydia who by all accounts is an absolute bada**! She is your typical stubborn old lady. She holds the answers but isn’t willing to tell them and I mean that literally, you will understand.
The use of poetry throughout the book really adds an element of almost sophistication to a book in this genre. I myself absolutely love poetry so any kind of poetry in fiction always draws me in just a little bit closer. It’s really fascinating actually seeing the links of the poems to Beth in modern days when these poems would have been written in the early 80s. There is one poem in particular that academics have been trying to decipher over the years and this seems to be the central focus for Beth throughout the book.
All in all this was really easy feel good book. I would recommend to anyone who enjoys the young adult genre all anyone who is on a journey self discovery themselves. The book really demonstrates that there really is never truly one correct answer. The book itself really brings forth the questions of do we ever truly know anyone? As well as, will we ever truly know ourselves? I will not go too deeply on that subject because well I’m still on my sad journey! I write this book 3 stars really enjoyed it and I will definitely be recommending.
Thank you to netgalley, the author and the publishers for the free digital advanced copy of holding her breath in exchange for my fair and honest opinions.
July 12, 2021
Holding Her Breath is an impressive debut by an Irish author that combines friendship, relationships, a personal crisis and a family mystery into a coming of age story that is truly so satisfying to read that I gulped this one down over 2 sittings – I genuinely loved it.
Our narrator is Beth, a university student studying psychology in Dublin whilst swimming laps of the pool there, we quickly learn that swimming is a very important part of her life & that in fact she used to be competitive prior to some sort of personal crisis happening. Swimming quickly becomes a staple within this book, however not as you would expect – yes we follow the physical side yet the true exploration is Beth’s internal dilemma of the pressures imposed by it & her exploration of boundaries that are right for her. Beth is somewhat of a social introvert & I absolutely adored following her friendship with her roommate Sadie blossom – love me strong female friendships!! On campus Beth becomes somewhat of an object of fascination amongst her peers as her grandfather was a renowned Irish poet & in particular, she attracts the attention of Justin, an English post-doc who continuously encourages Beth to find out more about the relationship between her grandparents and thus solve some of the mysteries relating to his life and death. Another element I just want to highlight is how much I adore witnessing the lovely relationship Beth has with her grandmother, a brilliant woman full of intrigue & secrets.
I fear that if I say more I will give away bits that make this novel such a delight to read, however suffice to say this book is beautifully written & such a strong debut. I loved the themes explored from mental health to grief to mystery/intrigue & tying in coming of age elements, a strong female lead, exquisite female friendships – plus it varying settings from Trinity, to her home town to West Cork made this novel that much more vivid & immersive. I cannot recommend this one enough & it certainly deserves a lot of attention, this again has confirmed why I am such a fan of Irish author’s & will be scanning my selves to jump into more shortly.
Massive thank you to the publisher for the arc.
Our narrator is Beth, a university student studying psychology in Dublin whilst swimming laps of the pool there, we quickly learn that swimming is a very important part of her life & that in fact she used to be competitive prior to some sort of personal crisis happening. Swimming quickly becomes a staple within this book, however not as you would expect – yes we follow the physical side yet the true exploration is Beth’s internal dilemma of the pressures imposed by it & her exploration of boundaries that are right for her. Beth is somewhat of a social introvert & I absolutely adored following her friendship with her roommate Sadie blossom – love me strong female friendships!! On campus Beth becomes somewhat of an object of fascination amongst her peers as her grandfather was a renowned Irish poet & in particular, she attracts the attention of Justin, an English post-doc who continuously encourages Beth to find out more about the relationship between her grandparents and thus solve some of the mysteries relating to his life and death. Another element I just want to highlight is how much I adore witnessing the lovely relationship Beth has with her grandmother, a brilliant woman full of intrigue & secrets.
I fear that if I say more I will give away bits that make this novel such a delight to read, however suffice to say this book is beautifully written & such a strong debut. I loved the themes explored from mental health to grief to mystery/intrigue & tying in coming of age elements, a strong female lead, exquisite female friendships – plus it varying settings from Trinity, to her home town to West Cork made this novel that much more vivid & immersive. I cannot recommend this one enough & it certainly deserves a lot of attention, this again has confirmed why I am such a fan of Irish author’s & will be scanning my selves to jump into more shortly.
Massive thank you to the publisher for the arc.
June 5, 2021
Thank you Penguin for providing me with an early release copy.
This is a beautiful debut novel that I can see being extremely well-received by readers. It follows Beth Crowe, newly back on track and studying at university after a breakdown put a stop to her competitve swimming career. But it's so much more than that. It's about a girl who seems so sure of who she is learning that there is more that she doesn't know about herself. It's about frienship and family and realising you need and deserve people who love you. As Beth learns more about her deceased (famous) poet grandfather, it teaches her about living members of her family and what it means to survive.
This subtle novel is everything young adults could want - or need - to read, and more. I wish I could have read it when I was in university. Just a really beautifully raw and relatable coming of age story.
This is a beautiful debut novel that I can see being extremely well-received by readers. It follows Beth Crowe, newly back on track and studying at university after a breakdown put a stop to her competitve swimming career. But it's so much more than that. It's about a girl who seems so sure of who she is learning that there is more that she doesn't know about herself. It's about frienship and family and realising you need and deserve people who love you. As Beth learns more about her deceased (famous) poet grandfather, it teaches her about living members of her family and what it means to survive.
This subtle novel is everything young adults could want - or need - to read, and more. I wish I could have read it when I was in university. Just a really beautifully raw and relatable coming of age story.
December 26, 2022
My biggest critique of this book is the COVER: if we could stop automatically sticking women authors with soft, bright illustrations that would be great. Because this book WASN’T soft; it was tough and tender and smart and determined and a little chaotic in a great way. This is a DARK ACADEMIA book, I would say, mixed with revelations of secret family history, and that’s a great combo but do we GET THAT from this chick-lit-ass cover?? NO WE DO NOT. Anyway Irish women are writing absolutely stunning books these days. Who’s got more for me?
December 28, 2021
I’ve been back and forth deciding whether this is a 3 or 4 star read for a while… some parts of the book I really enjoyed: the budding friendship between Beth (the main character) and Sadie, themes of swimming and water, the campus setting, and the parallels depicted between her life and her grandfather - the famous poet, Ben Crowe. But other parts I found honestly a teeny tiny bit… boring? And the relationship between Beth and Justin was just odd, I feel like if this book focused more in other areas (that were left slightly unexplored) rather than their relationship I would have enjoyed it much more! And that says a lot coming from someone who LOVES contemporary romance books! If you enjoyed Snowflake by Louise Nealon this book is worth a read! For now I’m sticking with 3 stars... who knows maybe it will change once the story settles in my brain!
February 2, 2023
I enjoyed this debut (just not loved) coming of age book and interested to see more by her, my niche interest for swimming loved that aspect too ✨
July 31, 2022
A terrific debut college novel, that has echoes of A.S. Byatt's Possession and, of course, Sally Rooney. I love that the protagonist has a layered backstory, as a swimmer and a true crime enthusiast. But the parts that kept me flying through the pages were the parts about literature, literary criticism/biography, and academia. There's an amazing scene where Justin is teaching and walking his class through a set of poems where I felt like my class was being spied on! In a couple of places, the debut-ness of this shows - the alternative sexual arrangements (trying not to spoil) and the fact that she throws way too many different layers in (a love story, a college story, a literary mystery, a family story, coming of age, a sports story, etc.). I couldn't put this book down though, and I look forward to what is next from this writer!
April 10, 2024
I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I wholly loved this book but I did end up reading it in one sitting. I think there were some interesting subplots and I really enjoyed the archival element to the story, but I think some elements were perhaps slightly rushed. This being said, the pacing of the book was clearly enough, because I basically finished it as soon as I started. So it’s definitely an easy read.
February 12, 2022
3.5 stars rounded up. I enjoyed this coming-of-age tale about a young college girl (Beth) in Ireland, a competitive swimmer, who tries to find out more about her famous grandfather's life (as a poet) and death ... as well as her grandmother's and the last summer they spent together near the sea decades ago. It's a dramatic tale and along the way Beth is going through her own troubles & affair with an older post-doc ... which leaves her later to wonder how much she's like her grandfather. Read it and you'll see.
August 19, 2022
This book is many things - a coming of age story, a family history, a mystery, a love story. Ultimately I found it quite successful in all of those areas. The subplots about swimming and sexual awakening add to the overall story, rather than detract from it. The real star is her dead grandfather, and everyone who loved him. But it all pulls together seamlessly. It’s a lovely debut.
August 26, 2022
This book hit all my sweet spots. I devoured it. One of my best books of 2022 to be sure.
June 21, 2021
Beth was a champion swimmer before she had a mental health crisis in her final year of school and dropped out of active competition. Now she’s starting university a little late, tentatively swimming again, although not at the elite level where she once participated, and trying to work out who she is without the sport. She turns to another label that she’s had all her life: she’s the granddaughter of Benjamin Crowe, a famous poet who drowned himself in the sea before she was born. Her grandmother Lydia is reluctant to talk about the past, but Beth sets off to discover what lay behind Benjamin’s most famous poem, Roslyn, completed just before he died. Holding Her Breath, Eimear Ryan’s debut, reminded me strongly of Danielle McLaughlin’s recent novel, The Art of Falling, which also intertwines an artistic mystery from the past with a finding-yourself plot in contemporary Ireland. Both McLaughlin and Ryan write the same kind of effortless, matter-of-fact prose, as well. However, Holding Her Breath is the stronger novel; Beth is much more of a person than the somewhat blank protagonist of The Art of Falling, and the secondary characters are much more people in their own right as well, especially Lydia and Beth’s flatmate Sadie.
In the hands of a different writer, this might have been yet another book about Dysfunctional Women Being Dysfunctional, following in the footsteps of Sally Rooney, Naoise Dolan and Ottessa Moshfegh, amongst others. Beth certainly ticks a lot of the boxes with her mental health issues, her sudden decision to abandon her swimming career, and a few sexual partners. However, Ryan is definitely not writing that sort of character, and I liked Beth the better for it. Surprisingly, it turns out that you can have sex with different people without being bent on self-destruction! And quitting your ‘job’ doesn’t mean you are doomed to spiral into isolation! It’s a much more positive way to write about young women, and gives Beth more agency. Sadly, though, despite these strengths, I don’t think Holding Her Breath will stay with me for long. Despite its nuanced protagonist, it has nothing really to say, and its watery imagery feels too schematic. I’ll be looking out for more from Ryan, though. 3.5 stars.
I received a free proof copy of this novel from the publisher for review.
In the hands of a different writer, this might have been yet another book about Dysfunctional Women Being Dysfunctional, following in the footsteps of Sally Rooney, Naoise Dolan and Ottessa Moshfegh, amongst others. Beth certainly ticks a lot of the boxes with her mental health issues, her sudden decision to abandon her swimming career, and a few sexual partners. However, Ryan is definitely not writing that sort of character, and I liked Beth the better for it. Surprisingly, it turns out that you can have sex with different people without being bent on self-destruction! And quitting your ‘job’ doesn’t mean you are doomed to spiral into isolation! It’s a much more positive way to write about young women, and gives Beth more agency. Sadly, though, despite these strengths, I don’t think Holding Her Breath will stay with me for long. Despite its nuanced protagonist, it has nothing really to say, and its watery imagery feels too schematic. I’ll be looking out for more from Ryan, though. 3.5 stars.
I received a free proof copy of this novel from the publisher for review.
February 7, 2024
RTC! I need to process it and hopefully these next days I'll find the time to properly put into words how I feel about this book. Spoiler alert: I didn't suspect it'd become a new favorite of mine. It greatly surprised me. I adored it.
Pronto reseña. Necesito procesarlo y con suerte estos días encuentre el tiempo para poner bien en palabras cómo me siento al respecto de este libro. Spoiler alert: no sospeché que se convertiría en un nuevo favorito. Me sorprendió muchísimo. Lo adoré.
Pronto reseña. Necesito procesarlo y con suerte estos días encuentre el tiempo para poner bien en palabras cómo me siento al respecto de este libro. Spoiler alert: no sospeché que se convertiría en un nuevo favorito. Me sorprendió muchísimo. Lo adoré.
September 12, 2021
Beautiful writing and a gorgeous story. It avoids all the potential clichés to which the story could easily have succumbed. Very nice character development. Loved it.
January 15, 2022
men are not this interesting imo but i did like it and the [redacted] parts were good but i wish they were the main part of the story and not a boring annoying man named justin
June 1, 2021
Holding Her Breath is a remarkable and relatable debut from Eimear Ryan. A contemporary novel, it tells the story of Beth Crowe , a young woman starting her study of psychology at Trinity College Dublin. A little older than most of her classmates, Beth is looking forward to experiencing a more normal student life, having taken some time out after a crisis that saw her scupper her dreams of becoming an Olympic swimmer. Keen to build a new life for herself she moves into campus accommodation and soon forms a friendship with her new roommate.
Beth's grandfather was a renowned poet, whose work was studied in classrooms the length and breadth of the country, but he died before she was born. The shadow of his death and the events that led up to it has hung over Beth's family for years. When Beth meets Justin, a post- doc from the English department, she is drawn into an illicit relationship that sparks her curiosity about her family history, and leads her to uncover a truth that explains a lot about her family's silence over the years.
This is a really compelling read, I was completely invested in the character of Eimear, and her fascinating family, particularly her wise and acerbic grandmother. I found her struggles to adjust to her new life completely believable , and loved the dynamic between her and Sadie , her chalk and cheese roommate. The backstory of the family history was interesting, and really well woven into the main storyline.
The pacing is gentle but the book still flows well, and I never lost interest in the story being told.
I read and reviewed an ARC courtesy of NetGalley and the Publisher, all opinions are my own.
Beth's grandfather was a renowned poet, whose work was studied in classrooms the length and breadth of the country, but he died before she was born. The shadow of his death and the events that led up to it has hung over Beth's family for years. When Beth meets Justin, a post- doc from the English department, she is drawn into an illicit relationship that sparks her curiosity about her family history, and leads her to uncover a truth that explains a lot about her family's silence over the years.
This is a really compelling read, I was completely invested in the character of Eimear, and her fascinating family, particularly her wise and acerbic grandmother. I found her struggles to adjust to her new life completely believable , and loved the dynamic between her and Sadie , her chalk and cheese roommate. The backstory of the family history was interesting, and really well woven into the main storyline.
The pacing is gentle but the book still flows well, and I never lost interest in the story being told.
I read and reviewed an ARC courtesy of NetGalley and the Publisher, all opinions are my own.
March 20, 2022
Beth is an athlete, college student, daughter and the granddaughter of a famous Irish poet, who died before she was born. She has been haunted his legacy for her whole life; teased at school when his poems were studied and people at college asking questions about his death, and the mystery around his final book of poetry. She is also haunted by her past as a competitive swimmer and is trying to navigate her life as it veered in different direction than she had anticipated. Beth begins to become curious about her grandfather and in trying to find out who he was, through the people who knew him and the archives her grandmother has so carefully guarded, she ultimately ends up on a path of self discovery.
"She is becoming sentimental, she thinks; this is the danger of poetry."
I loved Beth's journey through this book. At the beginning she felt quite stoic, robotic even. She was used to strict regimes and pushing through any pain or obstacles (mental or physical). As she begins to open up more in her relationships, and let her walls down a little, she begins to really live; she begins to make things happen, rather than being a spectator of her own life.
Without saying too much about the story, this book is a beautiful piece of writing that is evocative, compelling and engaging, with an endearing cast of characters, that centres on love, art, grief and human connection. The last few paragraphs took my breath away. I can't wait to see what Eimear does next...
"She is becoming sentimental, she thinks; this is the danger of poetry."
I loved Beth's journey through this book. At the beginning she felt quite stoic, robotic even. She was used to strict regimes and pushing through any pain or obstacles (mental or physical). As she begins to open up more in her relationships, and let her walls down a little, she begins to really live; she begins to make things happen, rather than being a spectator of her own life.
Without saying too much about the story, this book is a beautiful piece of writing that is evocative, compelling and engaging, with an endearing cast of characters, that centres on love, art, grief and human connection. The last few paragraphs took my breath away. I can't wait to see what Eimear does next...
July 22, 2022
4.25 Stars!
Somewhere I saw this book compared to one of my favorite books, Writers and Lovers by Lily King. It’s an apt comparison, not only some of the story elements by way of relationships to famous authors and academia but expressly with the story’s pacing. It was a steady and methodical pacing that I rather enjoyed in a story with this type of depth.
Along with a few months in the life of the protagonist, there are parallel stories that mimic each other as she digs deeper into her grandfather’s history and begins reading his never-published biography. I believe those parallels allow her to have compassion and understanding when it comes to the history of her parents and grandparents.
This is a book that a reader can spend an indefinite amount of time analyzing the particulars or simply dive in and enjoy the gently moving ride. I went along for the ride and found myself hypnotized by the story. I hope this isn't the last we see of this author's literary fiction.
February 20, 2022
‘Holding Her Breath’ is a coming of age story about Beth who feels overshadowed by her famous Grandfather who was a poet and committed suicide before she was born, she too is trying to come to turns with having to leave what was set to be a high achieving professional swimmer career. As she starts at university she finds there is no going on with her own life without first working out how the past fits into it.
I enjoyed this, it was a fairly light read to get through but made some very interesting points about identity and what it is built upon. The main character was frustratingly naive at times but seeing her transformation and take more control of the situation towards the end was well done. I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out for other books by this author.
I enjoyed this, it was a fairly light read to get through but made some very interesting points about identity and what it is built upon. The main character was frustratingly naive at times but seeing her transformation and take more control of the situation towards the end was well done. I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out for other books by this author.
July 24, 2024
I have a thing for Irish literature, this one unfortunately did not hook me as much. With an interesting story line, the granddaughter of a famous poet tries to understand his past and struggles with her own present always being intertwined with the grandfather she never actually met. There were some story lines in there that could have just been left out or shorter (the love interest that wasn't about love), however, still a nice and light read.
Favorite quote
Don't let yourself become half of the whole.
Favorite quote
Don't let yourself become half of the whole.
May 5, 2025
Thoroughly enjoyable. Coming of age story, campus setting, literary family with a dark past, female friendships, falling for the wrong people, and swimming! I love swimming so much it’s 80% of the reason I bought this book and I’m so glad I did. It’s mostly not about swimming but the bits that were, it was like icing on the cake.
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