"The dahlias on Sara's dress scrunched and stretched with her body as she spun on the grass and Alana couldn't understand why no one else was mesmerized." Tiny Ruins is a coming-of-age and coming out story that follows Alana, as she grows up, discovers, and tries to understand her bisexuality. Small windows offer us a glimpse of Alana's memories, often fragmentary, fleeting, and touching. When she confides in her sister that she is attracted to girls, she is met with disbelief, and so the secret is kept and Alana continues as the outsider looking in.
Nicole Haldoupis is a queer writer, editor, and designer from Toronto. She’s the outgoing Editor of Grain and a co-creator of untethered and Applebeard Editions. Her work can be found in Bad Dog Review, The Feathertale Review, Bad Nudes, and others. Her first book, Tiny Ruins (Radiant Press, 2020), is a novel made up of linked flash fiction pieces. Find her on Instagram and Twitter @nicolehaldoupis.
TINY RUINS by Nicole Haldoupis is a stunning debut! I loved this tiny yet moving book! This is a coming of age and coming out story about Alana as she discovers herself and grows up alongside her older sister. In less than 100 pages I entered into Alana’s world completely and I loved the references including Neopets, Power Rangers, and Spice Girls. I loved the unique structure to the storytelling as told in vignettes almost like journal entries. It was really touching to join Alana on her journey dealing with hostility from her peers, seeking approval from her sister and finally her independence. I really enjoyed this book and I’d gladly read her next book! . And I love the cover art by Zachari Logan featuring his drawing “Dead Carnations”! . Thank you to Radiant Press for my gifted review copy!
Tiny Ruins feels almost like reading a diary pulled directly from someone’s head. Each section is a short snapshot into the life of a women named Alana.
“Say you’ll be there” is when she’s a young girl. The intense, somewhat cryptic look at the world from a child’s perspective. Eveything, even the little things – especially the little things – have a larger significance. These intimate moments hold a lot of emotions and really make me remember those strange childhood moments that seem so large at the time and then fade away as you age. The peaceful, happy childhood memories of places and people are familiar and nostalgic - even if they're not exactly the same, it feels comfortable and relatable.
“Rush of blood to the head” holds those awkward growing moments; uncomfortable, thrilling, illicit, and mundane. The strange way you grow into yourself and into new relationships. Alana’s relationship with her sister Janie is extremely realistic for anyone who has siblings, from the friendly banter, to the snooping, to the arguments over socks and dirty dishes.
“Echoes of Silence” isn’t really an ending or beginning, but it is where Tiny Ruins ends. Alana and Jamie have parted ways physically (and maybe emotionally as well). Sean the cat reigns supreme. There’s a sense of isolation, but also of freedom, the sort that comes from being alone, in your own space.
I read this way too fast – I suspect I’ll get even more out of it after I read it a second (and third time).
This is a beautiful and emotional novella. The author has crafted quite an incredible and unique tale that comes in the form of snapshots of memories and events in the protagonist’s life. From the ups and downs of childhood to the hardships and struggles those in their teens coming to terms with who they are and the peer pressure to hide from everyone around them and so much more, this novella perfectly captures the growing up experience.
The snapshot storytelling component really works here. Each page has sections that look like direct dives into the protagonist’s memories, speaking on random events and experiences that somehow come together to tell a cohesive character-driven narrative that captures so many different emotional beats.
The Verdict
A short yet powerful and emotional read, author Nicole Haldoupis’s “Tiny Ruins” is a must-read novella. The story that evolves throughout the protagonist’s life is memorable and relatable, especially to anyone in the LGBTQ community who has ever had to deal with conflicting feelings and the journey of understanding who they are. From accepting her own sexuality to a conflict-filled relationship with her sister and the long journey into adulthood, this is a fantastic read that is not to be missed. Be sure to grab your copy today!
This brilliant little book is packed with so much emotion! I love a great novella and truly don't understand why more of them don't get published!
The time between adolescence to adulthood is awkward. Especially because the primary objective in our lives then is to find love, to be loved, to feel loved, to know it, before we even know ourselves. That journey is heart-achingly tough when you’re Alana, a girl with a big bum who’s dreaming about lying naked with her best friend, Sara, on top of her. Even more challenging when you have an older sister who tells her it’s just a dream and means nothing. TINY RUINS follows Alana in tiny fragments of time, as she moves from childhood to adolescence and into adulthood, a coming of age framed by social awkwardness, a complicated sister relationship, emerging sexuality, and an aging cat named Sean. This brilliant novella will resonate with anyone who ever wondered how they’ll be loved just as they are.