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574 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 2, 2020
"I rest my head against the windowpane and close my eyes for a moment, but it changes nothing about the fact that I'm caught in a dense tangle of voices."
"Sound-sight-smell-taste-even touch- there's always too much of everything at once, especially in crowds; I know it sounds stupid and completely insane, but I feel too permeable most of the time, things just get to me."
"It seems like most people are better at handling these things than I am," I say. "They eventually figure out a way for things to make sense. I guess some of them find a cause to focus on and get things done. Or maybe they will stop caring eventually. And I don't know how to care any less, and I keep wondering how I'm supposed to make plans when everything's chaos and nothing even remotely makes sense."
"Cole is my light and my dark, and I'm his dark as much as I'm his light. We're kaleidoscopes to each other. Regardless of what broke us and shook us up, creating patterns that couldn't be more different, what we share is no more and no less than out most essential shards. Thats why he understands me so well. That's why, with Cole, looking too close has never been anything but looking just close enough."