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Enneagram Daily Reflections #4
Forty Days on Being a Four
"How are you feeling?" Christine Yi Suh says that this has always been a hard question. She writes: "The more accurate question for a Four may be, 'What aren't you feeling?' I can grab my prevailing emotion and tell you how I'm doing from that emotion's point of view (joy, elation, sadness, grief, confusion―you name it!). I live and breathe a kaleidoscope of living, feeling, conflicting emotions." Many times Fours are labeled "emotionally intense" or "too much," but for a Four this is just how life is. This is why Fours are ideal companions in the midst difficult times: the death of a loved one, the birth of a baby, transitional seasons in career, relational conflict, and so on. The Enneagram is a profound tool for empathy, so whether or not you are a Four, you will grow from your reading about Four and enhance your relationships across the Enneagram spectrum. Each reading concludes with an opportunity for further engagement such as a journaling prompt, reflection questions, a written prayer, or a spiritual practice.
128 pages, Hardcover
Published May 4, 2021
31 people are currently reading
165 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
May 4, 2021
There’s a lot of enneagram content out there. I have read enough to grow a desire not to read anything unless it had a new and interesting angle. This series seeks to do just that.
As a woman of color and an enneagram four, when I saw the news about this book’s release I was excited! I jumped at the chance to be on the launch team in order to read an advanced copy and journey with Christine.
Fours are not a monolith as we like to remind, well, everyone. BIPOC, each in all our beautiful racial and ethnic variations, often have to defend the same statement: we are not a monolith.
There are parts of what Christine shares in this book that are unique to her story. Her ethnic and gender identity, her dreams, her family, her call to ministry, her struggles, and her joy—and fourness is expansive enough to hold all of that. It is beautiful and thought-provoking. The blend of these journeys—racial and ethnic alongside the enneagram—is exactly the new and interesting angle I’ve looked for in content on the enneagram.
There are parts of what Christine shares in this book that made me say audibly, “Christine, you get me.” Navigating shame, finding out you can have multiple passions unapologetically, dreaming of being a star someday...I saw myself in these stories. Furthermore, Christine has a heart for justice issues that shine through these devotionals.
It does not read like a general introduction to the enneagram, it does not focus on being like an objective guide meant to help you find what box you fit into. I appreciate the reflective prompts after each day, perfect for guiding you spiritually through affirmations, challenges, self-care practices, and spiritual exercises on your growth journey.
Hard to give any critiques since content like this is so rare and currently exists in its own lane. We need more stories like these and more diverse perspectives on the enneagram. Nevertheless, my one critique is often, I found myself asking questions about certain stories, longing for more detail. I suppose that’s part of the devotional-type model, stories are short and details that shape the spiritual reflection are emphasized.
I will be recommending this book to my four friends.
As a woman of color and an enneagram four, when I saw the news about this book’s release I was excited! I jumped at the chance to be on the launch team in order to read an advanced copy and journey with Christine.
Fours are not a monolith as we like to remind, well, everyone. BIPOC, each in all our beautiful racial and ethnic variations, often have to defend the same statement: we are not a monolith.
There are parts of what Christine shares in this book that are unique to her story. Her ethnic and gender identity, her dreams, her family, her call to ministry, her struggles, and her joy—and fourness is expansive enough to hold all of that. It is beautiful and thought-provoking. The blend of these journeys—racial and ethnic alongside the enneagram—is exactly the new and interesting angle I’ve looked for in content on the enneagram.
There are parts of what Christine shares in this book that made me say audibly, “Christine, you get me.” Navigating shame, finding out you can have multiple passions unapologetically, dreaming of being a star someday...I saw myself in these stories. Furthermore, Christine has a heart for justice issues that shine through these devotionals.
It does not read like a general introduction to the enneagram, it does not focus on being like an objective guide meant to help you find what box you fit into. I appreciate the reflective prompts after each day, perfect for guiding you spiritually through affirmations, challenges, self-care practices, and spiritual exercises on your growth journey.
Hard to give any critiques since content like this is so rare and currently exists in its own lane. We need more stories like these and more diverse perspectives on the enneagram. Nevertheless, my one critique is often, I found myself asking questions about certain stories, longing for more detail. I suppose that’s part of the devotional-type model, stories are short and details that shape the spiritual reflection are emphasized.
I will be recommending this book to my four friends.
May 11, 2021
I first took the Enneagram when I was in high school and like so many Asian American Christian women, was mistyped as a 2— “The Helper”. My winsome personality, Asian cultural values of hospitality, generosity, and sacrifice, mixed with having terrible relational boundaries/self-care habits that were affirmed by bad theology and more Asian cultural norms— I truly believed I was a 2 for nearly a decade.
In the last few years as I’ve grown and become (years of therapy, deconstruction/reconstruction of faith, leaving White Evangelicalism, consistent mentors & friends), I had close friends asking “Are you sure you’re a 2?” I’ve always been emotionally honest and prided myself on my emotional awareness, and so the thought of not knowing something about myself terrified me. Reading descriptions on websites, I resonated with select parts, but not deeply. The Enneagram and expositions of the Enneagram are incredibly white-centric and white-normative. The nuances of racial identity and culture are rarely explored in how it influences the Enneagram. It’s been a revelation and soul exhale to dive deep into understanding the multidimensionality and beauty of being myself as a fellow Enneagram 4 and Asian American woman. Shoutout to my fellow happy people with heavy souls.
Christine opens the door, and leads in a way of reclaiming and expanding space for women of color. She leads with emotional honesty and vulnerability in her storytelling and reflections of her multidimensional experiences as a Korean American woman, daughter of immigrants, a mom, a wife, a pastor, a writer, a singer, an activist, and a creative. Her words gave me language for experiences I had not given words to, and I was amazed by how she wove all of her experiences together in her reflections. I know the book is supposed to take 40 days, but I couldn’t put it down, read it from cover to cover in one sitting, and have continued to pour over it over and over. This book is truly a gift.
In the last few years as I’ve grown and become (years of therapy, deconstruction/reconstruction of faith, leaving White Evangelicalism, consistent mentors & friends), I had close friends asking “Are you sure you’re a 2?” I’ve always been emotionally honest and prided myself on my emotional awareness, and so the thought of not knowing something about myself terrified me. Reading descriptions on websites, I resonated with select parts, but not deeply. The Enneagram and expositions of the Enneagram are incredibly white-centric and white-normative. The nuances of racial identity and culture are rarely explored in how it influences the Enneagram. It’s been a revelation and soul exhale to dive deep into understanding the multidimensionality and beauty of being myself as a fellow Enneagram 4 and Asian American woman. Shoutout to my fellow happy people with heavy souls.
Christine opens the door, and leads in a way of reclaiming and expanding space for women of color. She leads with emotional honesty and vulnerability in her storytelling and reflections of her multidimensional experiences as a Korean American woman, daughter of immigrants, a mom, a wife, a pastor, a writer, a singer, an activist, and a creative. Her words gave me language for experiences I had not given words to, and I was amazed by how she wove all of her experiences together in her reflections. I know the book is supposed to take 40 days, but I couldn’t put it down, read it from cover to cover in one sitting, and have continued to pour over it over and over. This book is truly a gift.
May 5, 2021
I felt SEEN by this book:
Enneagram 4w3 (check)
Type 9 husband (check)
Korean American woman (check)
Growing up in Korean church spaces (check)
Obviously we are different people and I don’t share all the experiences Christine names. But wow, this book touched on some of the core parts of me that felt at times like a healing balm and others like a gut punch (like oof, idk how I feel about being THAT seen).
You know when you’ve sorta neglected your houseplant and finally water it and it just keeps drinking, and drinking, and drinking? That’s how I felt with this book. I rarely enjoy devotionals--too often they feel preachy and divorced from my experience--but I couldn’t put this down. I hadn’t known how much my soul had needed to hear these words of affirmation and grace, the power of simply having my *kaleidoscope* of emotions named in this season and know they are good, I am good—yet also called in and reminded that the enneagram isn’t merely for self-discovery but for community.
If you’ve found the Enneagram a helpful tool but have only learned from white experts, if you are a 4, if you would like to love a 4 in your life better, if you are interested in gaining Enneagram insight from a Korean-American woman weaving her embodied experiences related to family, culture, identity, faith, & justice, if you can’t stomach American Christianity and its disembodied hypocrisy but still find yourself drawn to Jesus and are even the tiniest bit curious about what drawing near to God might look like for you... this book is for you.
Enneagram 4w3 (check)
Type 9 husband (check)
Korean American woman (check)
Growing up in Korean church spaces (check)
Obviously we are different people and I don’t share all the experiences Christine names. But wow, this book touched on some of the core parts of me that felt at times like a healing balm and others like a gut punch (like oof, idk how I feel about being THAT seen).
You know when you’ve sorta neglected your houseplant and finally water it and it just keeps drinking, and drinking, and drinking? That’s how I felt with this book. I rarely enjoy devotionals--too often they feel preachy and divorced from my experience--but I couldn’t put this down. I hadn’t known how much my soul had needed to hear these words of affirmation and grace, the power of simply having my *kaleidoscope* of emotions named in this season and know they are good, I am good—yet also called in and reminded that the enneagram isn’t merely for self-discovery but for community.
If you’ve found the Enneagram a helpful tool but have only learned from white experts, if you are a 4, if you would like to love a 4 in your life better, if you are interested in gaining Enneagram insight from a Korean-American woman weaving her embodied experiences related to family, culture, identity, faith, & justice, if you can’t stomach American Christianity and its disembodied hypocrisy but still find yourself drawn to Jesus and are even the tiniest bit curious about what drawing near to God might look like for you... this book is for you.
May 4, 2021
This book shares brief reflections about how Christians who type as Fours in the Enneagram personality system can move towards a state of emotional and spiritual health in their everyday lives. The daily readings are typically two or three pages long, and are quick perspectives based on the author's experiences, ending with reflection questions or personal practices that readers can consider. Instead of being a collection of essays from different Enneagram Fours, this is all written by a single author, Christine Yi Suh. She draws on her personal background as a Korean American woman, and shares reflections based on the intersections between her personality type and her cultural experiences.
Personal Evaluation
My introduction to this series was Forty Days on Being a Nine by Marlena Graves. I type as an Enneagram One, but Nine is my wing type, and I deeply connected with Graves's writing, which perfectly balanced personal illustrations with general themes that anyone with the same core desires and motivations could relate to. I was excited to read Forty Days on Being a Four as well, since I relate to Fours and originally mistyped myself as one, but I ended up not relating to this book as much as I had expected to. Instead of reading like a collection of general reflections about being a Four, this book reads like a memoir about being a Korean American female pastor. I found the author's story and perspectives interesting, but this was much less relatable than I had expected.
I appreciated the Asian American elements of this book with specific friends in mind, and enjoyed learning more about Korean culture, but the author did not adequately balance her unique experiences as a Korean American with the more general elements of her personality type. Since writers and speakers often present the Enneagram from a very white American perspective, I think it is great for this series to come from the perspectives of people from marginalized groups, but I don't think that the execution was successful here. Readers who are interested in the concept of Forty Days on Being a Four aren't necessarily interested in a personal memoir about another Four's extremely specific life experiences, regardless of that author's background.
Audience Considerations
This is an overtly Christian book, but even though someone can describe it as a devotional, only some of the readings directly incorporate Scripture. The short readings are perfect for busy people who don't have time to fit a longer book into their day, but if someone is looking for a Bible-based devotional, they should use this as supplementary reading. Also, potential buyers should know that this book does not offer a detailed explanation of the Enneagram system or this specific type. If someone who is excited about this personality system wants to share it with their loved ones, I would encourage them to gauge people's interest and start elsewhere, with a general introduction to this system and the blessings of self-understanding that it can bring. Instead of explaining or persuading, the authors in this series speak to people who are already invested in the Enneagram system.
I would recommend this book to people who would like to read about the author's unique perspective and personal reflections about her life. If someone is a Korean American Four, I would definitely recommend this to them, and I think that it could be a huge encouragement for them to identify with the author's personality type from within the same background. However, this is a memoir above all else, not a general guide to understanding this personality. If someone is specifically looking for ways to understand themselves as a Four, they may find this book and its various reflection prompts helpful, but they should know that the author filters everything through very specific personal experiences, and that other Fours may not connect with this unless they relate to her.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Personal Evaluation
My introduction to this series was Forty Days on Being a Nine by Marlena Graves. I type as an Enneagram One, but Nine is my wing type, and I deeply connected with Graves's writing, which perfectly balanced personal illustrations with general themes that anyone with the same core desires and motivations could relate to. I was excited to read Forty Days on Being a Four as well, since I relate to Fours and originally mistyped myself as one, but I ended up not relating to this book as much as I had expected to. Instead of reading like a collection of general reflections about being a Four, this book reads like a memoir about being a Korean American female pastor. I found the author's story and perspectives interesting, but this was much less relatable than I had expected.
I appreciated the Asian American elements of this book with specific friends in mind, and enjoyed learning more about Korean culture, but the author did not adequately balance her unique experiences as a Korean American with the more general elements of her personality type. Since writers and speakers often present the Enneagram from a very white American perspective, I think it is great for this series to come from the perspectives of people from marginalized groups, but I don't think that the execution was successful here. Readers who are interested in the concept of Forty Days on Being a Four aren't necessarily interested in a personal memoir about another Four's extremely specific life experiences, regardless of that author's background.
Audience Considerations
This is an overtly Christian book, but even though someone can describe it as a devotional, only some of the readings directly incorporate Scripture. The short readings are perfect for busy people who don't have time to fit a longer book into their day, but if someone is looking for a Bible-based devotional, they should use this as supplementary reading. Also, potential buyers should know that this book does not offer a detailed explanation of the Enneagram system or this specific type. If someone who is excited about this personality system wants to share it with their loved ones, I would encourage them to gauge people's interest and start elsewhere, with a general introduction to this system and the blessings of self-understanding that it can bring. Instead of explaining or persuading, the authors in this series speak to people who are already invested in the Enneagram system.
I would recommend this book to people who would like to read about the author's unique perspective and personal reflections about her life. If someone is a Korean American Four, I would definitely recommend this to them, and I think that it could be a huge encouragement for them to identify with the author's personality type from within the same background. However, this is a memoir above all else, not a general guide to understanding this personality. If someone is specifically looking for ways to understand themselves as a Four, they may find this book and its various reflection prompts helpful, but they should know that the author filters everything through very specific personal experiences, and that other Fours may not connect with this unless they relate to her.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
June 10, 2021
This is my first review, ever, on goodreads.com. If you are an Enneagram Type 4, expecting to read this book to understand the Enneagram Type 4 (as the title of the book would have you believe), do NOT read this book.
I cannot believe the series editor, Suzanne Stabile, let this book slide through for this series. This series is supposed to be dedicated to daily reflections for each personality type. This book was almost entirely about white supremacy and oppression. You might be asking yourself, "what does white supremacy and oppression have to do with the Enneagram Type 4 personality type?" And I would say, that's a good question... It is clear that there was another agenda for this author, behind the penning of this book. It muffled the Enneagram.
Let me be clear, I know that white supremacy is evil. I know that oppression is evil. I am ALL for condemning these things. In fact, when I see it happening in real life, I speak out against it, as a Type 4. If Christine wanted to write a book about white supremacy and the plight of her life as an Asian-American woman, she should have written a memoir or autobiography. I would be perfectly willing to read that book, to better understand her trials and tribulations. But that was not the scope of this series-- now was it?
I can literally feel her negative attitude through the reading of words on a page (an inanimate object), as if she were reading it to me in-person. There is obviously still a lot of hurt and anger in her life. She should not have taken this as her opportunity to exploit this series, to get her message out.
Also, if anyone has any suggestions for better books pertaining to the Enneagram Type 4 personality type, let me know because I am still interested!
I cannot believe the series editor, Suzanne Stabile, let this book slide through for this series. This series is supposed to be dedicated to daily reflections for each personality type. This book was almost entirely about white supremacy and oppression. You might be asking yourself, "what does white supremacy and oppression have to do with the Enneagram Type 4 personality type?" And I would say, that's a good question... It is clear that there was another agenda for this author, behind the penning of this book. It muffled the Enneagram.
Let me be clear, I know that white supremacy is evil. I know that oppression is evil. I am ALL for condemning these things. In fact, when I see it happening in real life, I speak out against it, as a Type 4. If Christine wanted to write a book about white supremacy and the plight of her life as an Asian-American woman, she should have written a memoir or autobiography. I would be perfectly willing to read that book, to better understand her trials and tribulations. But that was not the scope of this series-- now was it?
I can literally feel her negative attitude through the reading of words on a page (an inanimate object), as if she were reading it to me in-person. There is obviously still a lot of hurt and anger in her life. She should not have taken this as her opportunity to exploit this series, to get her message out.
Also, if anyone has any suggestions for better books pertaining to the Enneagram Type 4 personality type, let me know because I am still interested!
April 8, 2022
2.5 stars, rounded up.
Meh, it was ok. The author seemed more concerned with sharing how her political views impact her story than discussing the enneagram, or sharing a devotional. And in this venue, it was overbearing.
There really wasn’t a whole lot of spiritual insight. Maybe that wasn’t the point? But I assumed at least that the enneagram would be…
If her story is important (and it is) and should be told (and it should) then she should write about it in her own book, rather than using this platform.
It’s like the girl who shows up at her sister’s birthday party and tries to pitch a pyramid scheme to the guests.
You might really like this book if one or more of the following are true of you:
A. You are a woman
B. You are a person of color
C. You have ever felt marginalized
D. You don’t really care too much about devotions or the enneagram.
I was a little disappointed in this book, but there were several good devotions in here as well.
Meh, it was ok. The author seemed more concerned with sharing how her political views impact her story than discussing the enneagram, or sharing a devotional. And in this venue, it was overbearing.
There really wasn’t a whole lot of spiritual insight. Maybe that wasn’t the point? But I assumed at least that the enneagram would be…
If her story is important (and it is) and should be told (and it should) then she should write about it in her own book, rather than using this platform.
It’s like the girl who shows up at her sister’s birthday party and tries to pitch a pyramid scheme to the guests.
You might really like this book if one or more of the following are true of you:
A. You are a woman
B. You are a person of color
C. You have ever felt marginalized
D. You don’t really care too much about devotions or the enneagram.
I was a little disappointed in this book, but there were several good devotions in here as well.
May 5, 2021
Having familiarity with the Enneagram and identifying as a Type Four, I eagerly awaited the release of the corresponding volume within the Enneagram Daily Reflections series from Intervarsity Press. I must say that Forty Days on Being a Four by Christine Yi Suh did not disappoint. I identified with so much of what Christine shares about her experience as a fellow Four, in particular, experiencing “a kaleidoscope of living, feeling, conflicting emotions,” feeling like I’m radically different from the people around me, wondering if I belong/if there’s something wrong with me, and having a great need for solitude and contemplation for the health of my spirit, soul, and body.
In all transparency, this book bears even more significance for me in that it was written by a woman of color. There is, regrettably, a dearth of Enneagram-related literature written by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) authors, and the following statement from Christine’s book resonates with me deeply: “…being a Four as a person of color doesn’t make my core motivations different from my fellow Fours in dominant culture, but when we hear a singular cultural narrative about how Fours function, or how Fours came to be who they are, we continually dismiss or erase stories that could validate the experiences of Fours in underrepresented communities.”
Christine’s reflections are rich and multi-layered. She provides readers with glimpses into various intersecting elements of her identity (including being a Korean American woman, daughter, sister, wife, mother, follower of Jesus, social justice advocate, etc.); she also incorporates salient biblical references and insightful recommendations for spiritual practice. Overall, it was a joy to read Forty Days on Being a Four, and I highly recommend this book to any fellow Fours, as well as to anyone seeking to learn more about this Enneagram type. I’ll end this review with another brilliant quote from Christine’s book: “Many people use the Enneagram as a way to self-actualize and become enlightened. […] However, the Enneagram was created in community and is for community. It is a tool that brings greater understanding, empathy, compassion, and grace to oneself and one’s neighbor. We study our numbers, motivations, and behavior patterns in order to better understand others and create a more compassionate world.”
In all transparency, this book bears even more significance for me in that it was written by a woman of color. There is, regrettably, a dearth of Enneagram-related literature written by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) authors, and the following statement from Christine’s book resonates with me deeply: “…being a Four as a person of color doesn’t make my core motivations different from my fellow Fours in dominant culture, but when we hear a singular cultural narrative about how Fours function, or how Fours came to be who they are, we continually dismiss or erase stories that could validate the experiences of Fours in underrepresented communities.”
Christine’s reflections are rich and multi-layered. She provides readers with glimpses into various intersecting elements of her identity (including being a Korean American woman, daughter, sister, wife, mother, follower of Jesus, social justice advocate, etc.); she also incorporates salient biblical references and insightful recommendations for spiritual practice. Overall, it was a joy to read Forty Days on Being a Four, and I highly recommend this book to any fellow Fours, as well as to anyone seeking to learn more about this Enneagram type. I’ll end this review with another brilliant quote from Christine’s book: “Many people use the Enneagram as a way to self-actualize and become enlightened. […] However, the Enneagram was created in community and is for community. It is a tool that brings greater understanding, empathy, compassion, and grace to oneself and one’s neighbor. We study our numbers, motivations, and behavior patterns in order to better understand others and create a more compassionate world.”
January 6, 2023
There is a quote from John Green in one of his Vlogbrothers videos titled ("I am a small boat. It's Question Tuesday.") where he says, "[...] sometimes when I'm reading, I'll feel like the author knows something about me that I've never told anyone, and that will make me feel less alone in those amorphous depths of the self [...]". Christine Yi Suh's book does that for me.
I discovered the Enneagram through a close friend of mine who came at me very passionately to discover what my type was, pouring over her hopes that I might discover something within myself when I would eventually take the test. This friend is a Type Four, and I would soon discover that I was a Type Four, too. While I carried this knowledge of my Enneagram Type with me for several years, I would not truly delve into the Enneagram until much later.
While I understand that most people refuse to fit into a box (or believe deeply that they do not fit into a box), as a Four, I am often trying to figure out what boxes I fit into. I often believed myself to be, in fact, misshapen, unable to fit into any mold set out before me. My differences didn't make me beautiful; they made me wrong. It would not be until later in 2022 that I would finally detach myself and who I really am from that belief in my head, and while I still struggle with self security, I am slowly learning to accept what makes me different and fall in love with myself in a way I never would have thought possible.
This book gives me that space to talk about this. I am not very religious, so when advice or suggestions are made explicit in the book, I replace the word 'God' with 'Love', and the teachings are largely the same when I do this. Fours have an innate desire to want to be seen and for others to recognize us; Christine Yi Suh sees us, and I thank her and my friend for allowing me that space to discover more about myself and how I interact with the world.
I discovered the Enneagram through a close friend of mine who came at me very passionately to discover what my type was, pouring over her hopes that I might discover something within myself when I would eventually take the test. This friend is a Type Four, and I would soon discover that I was a Type Four, too. While I carried this knowledge of my Enneagram Type with me for several years, I would not truly delve into the Enneagram until much later.
While I understand that most people refuse to fit into a box (or believe deeply that they do not fit into a box), as a Four, I am often trying to figure out what boxes I fit into. I often believed myself to be, in fact, misshapen, unable to fit into any mold set out before me. My differences didn't make me beautiful; they made me wrong. It would not be until later in 2022 that I would finally detach myself and who I really am from that belief in my head, and while I still struggle with self security, I am slowly learning to accept what makes me different and fall in love with myself in a way I never would have thought possible.
This book gives me that space to talk about this. I am not very religious, so when advice or suggestions are made explicit in the book, I replace the word 'God' with 'Love', and the teachings are largely the same when I do this. Fours have an innate desire to want to be seen and for others to recognize us; Christine Yi Suh sees us, and I thank her and my friend for allowing me that space to discover more about myself and how I interact with the world.
May 4, 2021
I'm a 3 on the enneagram and decided to take this journey to read about the life of a 4.
I've read different books on the enneagram journey. They're usually educational, rarely are they ever personal reflections where we are invited into someone else's healing journey. The author of this book was vulnerable and open about their journey. She is open about her journey as a person of color, a woman, the daughter of an immigrant, an artist, a pastor, and an activist. In opening up about herself we learn about our journey as well and learn how to use the enneagram to benefit our lives during this specific time in history.
***Note: this book isn't exclusive to 4's on the enneagram or Asian Americans, Women of Color, immigrants, etc. I recommend it for EVERYONE so there is more representation and inclusion in how we approach the enneagram.
I was given an advanced copy of this book for reviews.
I've read different books on the enneagram journey. They're usually educational, rarely are they ever personal reflections where we are invited into someone else's healing journey. The author of this book was vulnerable and open about their journey. She is open about her journey as a person of color, a woman, the daughter of an immigrant, an artist, a pastor, and an activist. In opening up about herself we learn about our journey as well and learn how to use the enneagram to benefit our lives during this specific time in history.
***Note: this book isn't exclusive to 4's on the enneagram or Asian Americans, Women of Color, immigrants, etc. I recommend it for EVERYONE so there is more representation and inclusion in how we approach the enneagram.
I was given an advanced copy of this book for reviews.
May 2, 2021
I feel a kindred with 4s, as an 8, and love the way they see the world. This series is so helpful to understand the Enneagram through the perspective of non-white women, and better understand the gift of the Enneagram to us. Christine is a powerful writer, thinker and teacher. Every time she speaks and writes, I'm learning and growing. Whether you are a 4, know/love a 4, or want to better understand how other people see the world, this book will help you grow in God and self-awareness.
October 16, 2023
The brevity of the devotions kept things a little more surface-level than this 4 likes, but it was relatable and I was able to glean a little nugget of wisdom from every day’s reading.
May 30, 2021
While I'm not a 4, there are plenty of 4s in my life. This book was a joy to read because it was so much about the author's personal experience of being a 4. I too am a Korean American pastor but our experiences are so incredibly different. I ate up the explanations of her journey with her cultural identity. As someone raised by a white family, I thought the distancing was characteristic of Korean Adoptees. It was connecting to read of a "real Korean American" having similar attitudes. While she has been able to reclaim that aspect of her identity from her family, I am finding different ways to do that.
The other theme in this book regarding spiritual direction also makes me feel connected with the author. The grounding biblical stories and writers about faith she uses resonated strongly. It was insightful to hear a 4 perspective on them.
The perspective of this series is refreshing for someone who has read a lot about the Enneagram as a whole (or even things just specific to their types). I can't wait to read the volume on 6s - and I secretly hope the author is a fellow counterphobic 6!
The other theme in this book regarding spiritual direction also makes me feel connected with the author. The grounding biblical stories and writers about faith she uses resonated strongly. It was insightful to hear a 4 perspective on them.
The perspective of this series is refreshing for someone who has read a lot about the Enneagram as a whole (or even things just specific to their types). I can't wait to read the volume on 6s - and I secretly hope the author is a fellow counterphobic 6!
August 7, 2021
If you didn’t know, I’m an Enneagram four. And so I was curious to read what Christine had to say about her experience of being a four. I could certainly relate to her comments about the question “How are you feeling?”
One of the goals of this series of books is compassion. It’s driven by the idea that we need to stop boxing people in with descriptions on a page and try instead to see through their eyes. I love that. And the reality is that this book isn’t entirely about being a four. It’s about Christine Yi Suh’s experience of being a four.
There was a lot I could relate to. There were also things that were nowhere near true to my experience. There were moments when I nodded my head in agreement and moments when I sat back and pondered. Christine’s experience of being a four has overlap with mine and it also has areas that are as different as night and day. This is the beauty of a God who creates us each individually and yet gives us overlapping passions, motivations and emotions.
I think that the book is very helpful for stirring compassion. It might also be really helpful for someone who thinks they might be a four but hasn’t done much Enneagram work. I think for someone who has researched and evaluated personality types as much as I have that it carries the gift of getting to know Christine Yi Shu through her own eyes, to share her journey and to discover the beauty and the burden of her life as a four.
I received a digital, pre-release, unedited copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
One of the goals of this series of books is compassion. It’s driven by the idea that we need to stop boxing people in with descriptions on a page and try instead to see through their eyes. I love that. And the reality is that this book isn’t entirely about being a four. It’s about Christine Yi Suh’s experience of being a four.
There was a lot I could relate to. There were also things that were nowhere near true to my experience. There were moments when I nodded my head in agreement and moments when I sat back and pondered. Christine’s experience of being a four has overlap with mine and it also has areas that are as different as night and day. This is the beauty of a God who creates us each individually and yet gives us overlapping passions, motivations and emotions.
I think that the book is very helpful for stirring compassion. It might also be really helpful for someone who thinks they might be a four but hasn’t done much Enneagram work. I think for someone who has researched and evaluated personality types as much as I have that it carries the gift of getting to know Christine Yi Shu through her own eyes, to share her journey and to discover the beauty and the burden of her life as a four.
I received a digital, pre-release, unedited copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
September 1, 2021
A great exploration of what it means to live as a 4 enneagram and also a person of color in the US. Not necessarily a great starting point if you are on your enneagram journey, but delightful if you’ve started your enneagram journey and are seeking to go deeper.
Christine Yi Suh provides a range of stories from her personal life as a rubric to contextualize the different aspects of how 4’s are defined in the enneagram.
I am not a Christian but thought the bible references were often interesting as a way to think of Christian teachings it in a new light. For instance, the author identifies instances in which Jesus or other people in the bible acted as 4s would. Other times she incorporates bible teachings into the point she is weaving.
I think that the religious references are mostly useful you’re someone trying to deepen your relationship to God. However, the religious perspective didn’t help me deepen the understanding of 4 characteristics. The book’s power as a more in-depth enneagram guide, IMHO, are the author’s personal narrative and her analysis of her lived experience.
As a Latina who comes from a collectivistic society I felt identified with the authors perspective of the tension between being a 4 and growing up in these family-centered environments. These kinds of insights based on the intersection of her fourness, her gender, and as a first generation American, are in my point of view, the gems of the book and I have not seen a similar take anywhere else.
Her take on racism and being a 4 was also interesting to read.
Christine Yi Suh provides a range of stories from her personal life as a rubric to contextualize the different aspects of how 4’s are defined in the enneagram.
I am not a Christian but thought the bible references were often interesting as a way to think of Christian teachings it in a new light. For instance, the author identifies instances in which Jesus or other people in the bible acted as 4s would. Other times she incorporates bible teachings into the point she is weaving.
I think that the religious references are mostly useful you’re someone trying to deepen your relationship to God. However, the religious perspective didn’t help me deepen the understanding of 4 characteristics. The book’s power as a more in-depth enneagram guide, IMHO, are the author’s personal narrative and her analysis of her lived experience.
As a Latina who comes from a collectivistic society I felt identified with the authors perspective of the tension between being a 4 and growing up in these family-centered environments. These kinds of insights based on the intersection of her fourness, her gender, and as a first generation American, are in my point of view, the gems of the book and I have not seen a similar take anywhere else.
Her take on racism and being a 4 was also interesting to read.
June 5, 2021
Yi Suh offers an insightful picture into describing what she calls “fourness.” Her thoughtful observation about over-internalizing introverts helped put words to thoughts that have often felt intangible to me.
At the same time, I often felt a discomfort over the flatting of that experience, as well as the experience of of being Asian American. To read that “Asians are X” or “all Asians have experienced X” or “fours know X,” knowing that those experiences do not apply to me was disorienting, potentially alienating—the opposite of what I’m sure she intended. This is the danger of celebrating our camaraderie (fourness) or solidarity (Asian Americanness), while white-washing our diversity.
At the same time, I often felt a discomfort over the flatting of that experience, as well as the experience of of being Asian American. To read that “Asians are X” or “all Asians have experienced X” or “fours know X,” knowing that those experiences do not apply to me was disorienting, potentially alienating—the opposite of what I’m sure she intended. This is the danger of celebrating our camaraderie (fourness) or solidarity (Asian Americanness), while white-washing our diversity.
February 3, 2023
Thank you Christine for sharing your story, beliefs, experiences. They matter and are meaningful.
However, this read less like a daily reflection on being a 4 and more like a memoir. Christine shares a lot about her experience as a Korean American woman, she even speaks out against racial injustice for the black community.
These are incredibly honorable things but for a book that seems to be geared towards speaking to 4s as a general population, that is not what I got out of it.
However, this read less like a daily reflection on being a 4 and more like a memoir. Christine shares a lot about her experience as a Korean American woman, she even speaks out against racial injustice for the black community.
These are incredibly honorable things but for a book that seems to be geared towards speaking to 4s as a general population, that is not what I got out of it.
May 30, 2021
It’s probably not fair for me a white American male to even attempt to rate this book written by a younger Korean American woman. I mostly needed to just hear her stories and listen carefully and meditate on her experience as a 4 and let that more fully round out my view of Fourness. I’m so thankful that IVP has given a voice to many different backgrounds in this series.
April 7, 2022
I really appreciated this little book of daily reflections. It addressed all the major pain points of a Four, as well as affirming our strengths. I also enjoyed hearing from Christine Yi Suh's perspective as an Asian American - to gain more understanding of another's life, and to see how experiences as a Four differ in another culture, as well as the commonalities across culture.
I loved the invitations to reflect at the end of each entry - questions to ponder, thoughts to meditate on, or just an invitation to breath and be.
It's hard to find good Enneagram books about Fours - this one was great.
I loved the invitations to reflect at the end of each entry - questions to ponder, thoughts to meditate on, or just an invitation to breath and be.
It's hard to find good Enneagram books about Fours - this one was great.
January 9, 2022
Rich with Invitations Into Reflection
The author brings the lens of ethno-culture to a Christian reading of the Enneagram with 40 short essays, each closing with a call to reflection. There’s a lot to process, and likely works best as a period devotional period. And this reader was raised Christian, thought no longer practice, and I didn’t feel particularly preached at at all, more left out of having a similar connection to the author’s God. And since that’s a classic characteristic of and Enneagram Four, I figured that the text did its job.
The author brings the lens of ethno-culture to a Christian reading of the Enneagram with 40 short essays, each closing with a call to reflection. There’s a lot to process, and likely works best as a period devotional period. And this reader was raised Christian, thought no longer practice, and I didn’t feel particularly preached at at all, more left out of having a similar connection to the author’s God. And since that’s a classic characteristic of and Enneagram Four, I figured that the text did its job.
May 6, 2021
Though I have been resistant to truths found through enneagram learning, it is so easy to appreciate this book of reflections and Christine’s writing. She writes with such honesty, leading others to lean into their own emotions, frustrations, celebrations, and dreams. A short collection of daily reflections, but so rich in beautiful ideas and thoughts!
November 6, 2025
Really loved this little book of reflections. It is one I’ll revisit in the future.
I’ve read a number of Enneagram books and listened to podcasts and talks and this is one of my favorites. I’m older than the author, I’m white, and am not in the Protestant church and yet I still felt such a deep kinship with her.
I’ve read a number of Enneagram books and listened to podcasts and talks and this is one of my favorites. I’m older than the author, I’m white, and am not in the Protestant church and yet I still felt such a deep kinship with her.
May 3, 2023
not a groundbreaking insight, but a hug to my heart
January 20, 2024
I loved learning about the enneagram & how it specifically relates to me
July 1, 2024
What a renewing devotional.
May 10, 2021
I loved this book of reflections from Christine Yi Suh on being not only an Enneagram 4 but an Asian American woman. She was insightful in how both played on each other. On how feeling different as a 4 interacted with being a woman of color in the USA. As an Enneagram 4 myself, I appreciated the reflection questions and the invitation to explore my own experiences as a woman (and a woman in ministry as well) in the US. I highly recommend this book.
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