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Answering the Guy Questions: The Set-Apart Girl’s Guide to Relating to the Opposite Sex
Bestselling author and speaker Leslie Ludy follows up her powerful, ground-breaking release, Set-Apart Femininity , with the book every young woman has been waiting for. How does today's young woman handle the difficult questions surrounding guys, relationships, and waiting for the right one? Leslie uses her experiences, both in mentoring numerous girls and with her own beautiful love story, to give straightforward help and advice on these questions and more. Instead of trying to follow the world's plan for capturing the man of your dreams, Leslie challenges her readers to live a set-apart life and develop a Christ-consumed heart. She shares the secret to becoming a woman who is truly beautiful and irresistible to a godly man. From understanding modern guys and the plan God has for them, to learning how to treat and interact with guys in everyday life, Answering the Guy Questions will equip young woman with inspiration and strength to live God's way in all their relationships.
160 pages, Paperback
First published March 1, 2009
17 people are currently reading
405 people want to read
About the author
Leslie Ludy
43 books374 followersLeslie Ludy is the bestselling author of Set-Apart Femininity, When God Writes Your Love Story, Authentic Beauty, and more than a dozen other books she has coauthored with her husband, Eric. She reaches thousands of young women each year and is passionate about helping them discover Christ's design for their lives. Leslie and Eric live with their three children in Colorado.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
April 30, 2025
This book was really good! It definitely reminded me to pit God first in everything, especially relationships. It did have some practical tips, though not as q and a as I might have liked, however I could feel God speaking through Leslie Ludy to me! I highly recommend this book!
January 22, 2015
What can I say about this book?? It was incredible! I read it through in one day, and believe me, I usually cannot do that with these “self-help” types of books. But I did with Answering the Guy Questions. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it… still can’t stop thinking about it. Leslie Ludy addressed some tough issues, but with stunning truth! I truly loved this book! It’s the best self-help book I have read yet.
Some things she talks about are… guys and lust… what should we women do about it? Femininity… what is a woman’s role? Submitting… what is God’s plan as for who leads in marriage? Dating, kissing, touching, marriage, girl/boy relationships… what’s the most important thing to consider when looking at all this stuff? WHERE IS CHRIST? Because He should be at the center of your life, the center of your relationships, and then, the center of your marriage.
Don’t skip this book if you don’t feel like hearing about some of those issues. Open your heart… pray that God will speak to your heart, and then open this book ready to learn and receive. After all, who are WE to say how the world should run?? God created it, so obviously He knows what’s best for His people, and in what order things should transpire. As I read Answering the Guy Questions, I think Leslie hit the truth exactly in some of the hardest issues going on in this world. And the Bible backed her up.
Once again I’ll say, an incredible book! (Humorous and sweet too!) I think every woman should read this book; and every guy, a book like it, only directed towards men. A major thumbs up to Leslie Ludy, for writing an amazing book that really helped me in my walk to become a woman totally for Christ.
Every girl, I challenge you, read this book!!
Some things she talks about are… guys and lust… what should we women do about it? Femininity… what is a woman’s role? Submitting… what is God’s plan as for who leads in marriage? Dating, kissing, touching, marriage, girl/boy relationships… what’s the most important thing to consider when looking at all this stuff? WHERE IS CHRIST? Because He should be at the center of your life, the center of your relationships, and then, the center of your marriage.
Don’t skip this book if you don’t feel like hearing about some of those issues. Open your heart… pray that God will speak to your heart, and then open this book ready to learn and receive. After all, who are WE to say how the world should run?? God created it, so obviously He knows what’s best for His people, and in what order things should transpire. As I read Answering the Guy Questions, I think Leslie hit the truth exactly in some of the hardest issues going on in this world. And the Bible backed her up.
Once again I’ll say, an incredible book! (Humorous and sweet too!) I think every woman should read this book; and every guy, a book like it, only directed towards men. A major thumbs up to Leslie Ludy, for writing an amazing book that really helped me in my walk to become a woman totally for Christ.
Every girl, I challenge you, read this book!!
December 11, 2025
I was curious and bored. It was a fast, ok read. Made some good points. Used ad-hominem EXCESSIVELY in the beginning, and could have spent more time defining its terms. In other words, I agree with what it was sayin, not how it was sayin it. But overall it was a good read.
#Modestishottest
#Modestishottest
January 11, 2019
Really good read. The way modern guys are vs the way God wants them to be.
May 22, 2021
SUMMARY: BACK COVER – Leslie Ludy interacts with thousands of young women each year, and these are the questions they are asking. In ANSWERING THE GUY QUESTIONS she tackles these critical issues in a powerful, pull-no-punches way. ..It will give you a vision for how you can help shape guys into the Christ-built, heroic men God designed them to be, as well as help you to discover a beautiful, God-centered romance.
REVIEW: Not really question and answer format like I thought it would be based on the title. Not really questions about guys either. Rather a detailed study into masculinity and how it has shifted from the way God designed it.
So the book is more of a discussion as to what masculinity is, why it matters, and how to return it to the original design. Ludy further explains that it is not only a “guy” problem but girls have a strong impact on it as well and must be part of the solution.
The author keeps referring back to her previous book titled – SET-APART FEMINITY – so it might be one that I have to track down and see what the foundation of her message is.
I do like that her and her husband are on the same Christ-centered journey and that he also writes and I am seeking out one of his books to read as well.
This book offered more of an outline of topics to discuss and I wouldn’t recommend it as a must read. However, I found some of the topics intriguing enough to follow up with some of her and her husband’s other titles: Meet Mr. Smith and Bravehearted Gospel.
When we have a Christ-consumed heart, guy no longer dominate our thoughts, our actions, and our decisions. (p6)
Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, you’ll always be looking to mere men to meet needs only He can fill. (p8)
Taking their cues from older brothers and pop-culture role models, they treated every girl like a piece of meat to either lustfully consume or carelessly discard…(p12)
…It was the paralyzing fear that when it came to guys, this was all I could ever expect. (p12)
The extra discouraging wrinkle to the whole saga was that Christian guys didn’t seem much different than all the other warped, perverted men of modern times. (p14) -- There is a very powerful scene in the book where her husband Eric is riding in a car with two Christian guys who begin telling foul jokes thinking nothing of guys just being guys. “When Eric told them that their lack of dignity now was preparing them to have a lack of dignity toward their future wives, they were shocked…He was just speaking of basic respect, but the concept riveted the attention of these two young men. They had never even heard of such a notion.” (p35)—NOTE: another common theme in my recent readings (this title and others) of the lack of life instruction for the church or home.
You are a daughter of the King so hold out for a man who has royal blood coursing through his veins. (p76) -- NOTE: This is one of the themes running through the book that we as SET-APART for God need to rise above cultural standards and return to God’s original plan and expect higher standards of the men we interact with (dads and brothers included) which will then inspire men to change their behavior.
….we should diligently pray that the sexual climate of our culture would realign with God’s pattern. (p83) NOTE: Prayer is another main topic throughout – because it is prayer that changes things and brings us back to the Christ-centered plan for our lives. Plus the power of prayer goes above and beyond anything we can personally do especially in the realm of changing hearts and behaviors.
SHOWING SKIN – Any area of my body that would be awkward or uncomfortable for another guy to touch is an area of my body that I keep hidden for my husband’s eyes alone. (p86) – NOTE: There are many topics addressed throughout in mentor-like guiding fashion about modesty and refraining from physical contact and sexually appealing distractions. There is a very though-provoking section that tells of her observation of young people today and how they so casually touch and hug guys some of them they just met in a careless way (p114). These actions set the tone of any new relationship and it also opens the door for temptations. -- …there is never a good reason to purposefully place yourself in a situation that can lead to compromise. (p142)
Whenever the enemy tries to distract you, hit back by praying intensely for an unsaved person. It’s one of the best strategies against spiritual attack. The enemy will back off when he realizes that it only turns you into a prayer warrior for the kingdom of God. (p120) – NOTE: I love this little powerful piece of wisdom that is just placed here in the book that I almost missed it. I’m going to add this to my Spiritual Warfare arsenal.
Although the topic of finding a warrior-poet and having that fairy-tale romance of a lifetime seems bleak based upon the observation of this world – the author does state again and again that it is possible if individuals will make the decision to be SET-APART and create for themselves a Christ-centered life. And I also found hope among the last pages of the book -- …all throughout Scripture, God demonstrates that it only takes one willing and yielded soul to change a generation. (p151)
…A woman who is completely sold out, wanting nothing more and nothing less than God’s will and Christ’s power in her life is remarkably attractive….- Jeremy, 21 (p154)
Some of the concepts that she and her future husband activated during their courtship sounds extreme (she even says so) but by having a relationship that was SET APART was exactly what God wanted and it made the marriage even more stronger by keeping sacred things sacred as God intended -- She was telling of their experience and stating that each individual / couple have to find their own boundaries in their own relationship with each other and with God.
REVIEW: Not really question and answer format like I thought it would be based on the title. Not really questions about guys either. Rather a detailed study into masculinity and how it has shifted from the way God designed it.
So the book is more of a discussion as to what masculinity is, why it matters, and how to return it to the original design. Ludy further explains that it is not only a “guy” problem but girls have a strong impact on it as well and must be part of the solution.
The author keeps referring back to her previous book titled – SET-APART FEMINITY – so it might be one that I have to track down and see what the foundation of her message is.
I do like that her and her husband are on the same Christ-centered journey and that he also writes and I am seeking out one of his books to read as well.
This book offered more of an outline of topics to discuss and I wouldn’t recommend it as a must read. However, I found some of the topics intriguing enough to follow up with some of her and her husband’s other titles: Meet Mr. Smith and Bravehearted Gospel.
When we have a Christ-consumed heart, guy no longer dominate our thoughts, our actions, and our decisions. (p6)
Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, you’ll always be looking to mere men to meet needs only He can fill. (p8)
Taking their cues from older brothers and pop-culture role models, they treated every girl like a piece of meat to either lustfully consume or carelessly discard…(p12)
…It was the paralyzing fear that when it came to guys, this was all I could ever expect. (p12)
The extra discouraging wrinkle to the whole saga was that Christian guys didn’t seem much different than all the other warped, perverted men of modern times. (p14) -- There is a very powerful scene in the book where her husband Eric is riding in a car with two Christian guys who begin telling foul jokes thinking nothing of guys just being guys. “When Eric told them that their lack of dignity now was preparing them to have a lack of dignity toward their future wives, they were shocked…He was just speaking of basic respect, but the concept riveted the attention of these two young men. They had never even heard of such a notion.” (p35)—NOTE: another common theme in my recent readings (this title and others) of the lack of life instruction for the church or home.
You are a daughter of the King so hold out for a man who has royal blood coursing through his veins. (p76) -- NOTE: This is one of the themes running through the book that we as SET-APART for God need to rise above cultural standards and return to God’s original plan and expect higher standards of the men we interact with (dads and brothers included) which will then inspire men to change their behavior.
….we should diligently pray that the sexual climate of our culture would realign with God’s pattern. (p83) NOTE: Prayer is another main topic throughout – because it is prayer that changes things and brings us back to the Christ-centered plan for our lives. Plus the power of prayer goes above and beyond anything we can personally do especially in the realm of changing hearts and behaviors.
SHOWING SKIN – Any area of my body that would be awkward or uncomfortable for another guy to touch is an area of my body that I keep hidden for my husband’s eyes alone. (p86) – NOTE: There are many topics addressed throughout in mentor-like guiding fashion about modesty and refraining from physical contact and sexually appealing distractions. There is a very though-provoking section that tells of her observation of young people today and how they so casually touch and hug guys some of them they just met in a careless way (p114). These actions set the tone of any new relationship and it also opens the door for temptations. -- …there is never a good reason to purposefully place yourself in a situation that can lead to compromise. (p142)
Whenever the enemy tries to distract you, hit back by praying intensely for an unsaved person. It’s one of the best strategies against spiritual attack. The enemy will back off when he realizes that it only turns you into a prayer warrior for the kingdom of God. (p120) – NOTE: I love this little powerful piece of wisdom that is just placed here in the book that I almost missed it. I’m going to add this to my Spiritual Warfare arsenal.
Although the topic of finding a warrior-poet and having that fairy-tale romance of a lifetime seems bleak based upon the observation of this world – the author does state again and again that it is possible if individuals will make the decision to be SET-APART and create for themselves a Christ-centered life. And I also found hope among the last pages of the book -- …all throughout Scripture, God demonstrates that it only takes one willing and yielded soul to change a generation. (p151)
…A woman who is completely sold out, wanting nothing more and nothing less than God’s will and Christ’s power in her life is remarkably attractive….- Jeremy, 21 (p154)
Some of the concepts that she and her future husband activated during their courtship sounds extreme (she even says so) but by having a relationship that was SET APART was exactly what God wanted and it made the marriage even more stronger by keeping sacred things sacred as God intended -- She was telling of their experience and stating that each individual / couple have to find their own boundaries in their own relationship with each other and with God.
April 25, 2023
This book is not what I thought it was going to be (I thought it was going to be more of a direct question and answer)but it turned out to be super good and just a what I needed! I think all teenage girls should read this, learn from it, and then live what they learn!
July 3, 2016
This book was certainly a very pleasant surprise! I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. This was such a quick, but powerful read, and Leslie writes truth-sometimes bluntly, but in a refreshing, non-judgemental way. Yay! My kind of reading.
I was so impacted by her thoughts on masculinity, gender roles, modesty standards, purity,ect. She's just such a great, wise author!
Another tiny thing I liked was how many quotes she included in here. Quotes from godly young men, magazine articles, young women....
Really, any Christian girl should read this, and I even read some parts out loud to my dad too! Any age or stage in life, you COULD benefit from this.
I honestly don't have any negative thoughts to say about this book. I agreed with everything Leslie presented, all her points. (To my knowledge, all were spot on with Scripture.)
I think any girl from probably around 13 could read this, or with a parent as young as 10 or 11.
Now that I've got my thoughts out of the way, I'm gonna share some of my favorite quotes!
-"As set-apart young women, we are called to reflect His lily-white, radiant beauty and not a hollow sex-appeal."
-"If you give Him the pen and allow Him to script your story, you don't need to strive or manipulate to make the romance happen."
-"Anything physical that you save for marriage will only be more beautiful and fulfilling as time goes on. Anything that you experience beforehand will eventually lose its luster.
-"When a guy shows interest, the first thing to do is spend ample amount of time in prayer and godly counsel."
AND last one: "A man who is truly worth his salt knows that you are worth the wait and won't put pressure on you to make a quick decision."
Well, that's a wrap! I hope this review peaked your interest for diving into this wonderfully accurate and timely book!
~By His Grace,
Halee
I was so impacted by her thoughts on masculinity, gender roles, modesty standards, purity,ect. She's just such a great, wise author!
Another tiny thing I liked was how many quotes she included in here. Quotes from godly young men, magazine articles, young women....
Really, any Christian girl should read this, and I even read some parts out loud to my dad too! Any age or stage in life, you COULD benefit from this.
I honestly don't have any negative thoughts to say about this book. I agreed with everything Leslie presented, all her points. (To my knowledge, all were spot on with Scripture.)
I think any girl from probably around 13 could read this, or with a parent as young as 10 or 11.
Now that I've got my thoughts out of the way, I'm gonna share some of my favorite quotes!
-"As set-apart young women, we are called to reflect His lily-white, radiant beauty and not a hollow sex-appeal."
-"If you give Him the pen and allow Him to script your story, you don't need to strive or manipulate to make the romance happen."
-"Anything physical that you save for marriage will only be more beautiful and fulfilling as time goes on. Anything that you experience beforehand will eventually lose its luster.
-"When a guy shows interest, the first thing to do is spend ample amount of time in prayer and godly counsel."
AND last one: "A man who is truly worth his salt knows that you are worth the wait and won't put pressure on you to make a quick decision."
Well, that's a wrap! I hope this review peaked your interest for diving into this wonderfully accurate and timely book!
~By His Grace,
Halee
November 11, 2014
What can I say about this book, but that I urge you all my sisters in the LORD to read this book. It is entirely scriptural and has the power to stir your heart with love for our heavenly King and return him as your first love. It certainly did for me! I feel like my eyes have opened to so many new things and you know what, this book is a lot about the qualities a warrior poet man who is worthy of your heart should have. However, to me while I very much want to be married to a warrior poet someday in God's timing, this book made me embrace the gift of singleness, I no longer feel the need to 'turn heads' or constantly look my best because "charm is deceitful and beauty IS passing..." (proverbs 31:30). I am simply amazed and I will keep on singing praises for it, I'm so thankful that God led Leslie Ludy to write this, ALL my questions on purity and the right behaviour or conduct, as well as modesty, its ALL in there! so grab your Bible, grab a few of your mates, grab this book and read, read, read and be so immeasurably blessed! I know the lessons I've learned will carry me for a lifetime. God bless all of you and stand firm in the LORD in all things!
June 28, 2012
Good read. Fast read! Leslie Ludy's encouragements on how to keep our heart centered on Christ was layed out well in this book. She reminds us that Jesus Christ is our Heavenly Husband who, alone, loves us perfectly; therefore, we should seek Him first in everything we do, especially where our hearts are concerned. I don't think I'm 100% on-board with her idea of the biblical way to interact with your boyfriend or fiance, but it was good, for the most part.
April 25, 2011
This was an amazing book. I learned SO much.
Mostly about having a good relationship with God.
And staying pure in your thought life, and friend ships and relationships with guys.
Mostly about having a good relationship with God.
And staying pure in your thought life, and friend ships and relationships with guys.
August 14, 2025
This was an amazing book! I love Leslie Ludy and her books. I love her writing style, it's easy to read and encouraging.
This book was such a good demonstration of what a Christian relationship is like and how to find a good guy. I loved her description of a warrior poet and this book was incredibly convicting.
I loved this book's emphasis on Christ and how a relationship with Him is more important than an earthly relationship.
I highly, highly recommend this book!!!
This book was such a good demonstration of what a Christian relationship is like and how to find a good guy. I loved her description of a warrior poet and this book was incredibly convicting.
I loved this book's emphasis on Christ and how a relationship with Him is more important than an earthly relationship.
I highly, highly recommend this book!!!
March 18, 2024
Want to immediately re-read. Incredible guideline for what a Christ-centered relationship should look like.
November 26, 2025
A great book, geared toward teen girls and young adult women, on dating from a Biblical Worldview.
April 27, 2010
If you're a single woman who has given up on finding the right guy - Leslie Ludy has some powerful advice for you in her newest book: Answering the Guy Questions - The Set Apart Girl's Guide To Relating To The Opposite Sex.
Drawing from her own personal experience and the stories of young men and women who are tired of the oversexed dating scene, Leslie exposes the modern myths of today's critical relationship issues and offers a fresh, Biblical perspective on finding a mate.
Her first piece of advice? Put first things first! Have a Christ consumed heart and put Jesus Christ far above guys. Leslie writes that when you become consumed with Jesus Christ, dealing with guys becomes far less confusing.
This book is a fantastic "eye-opener" for today's young women who might be confused by what they long for in a man and what they see in the natural. Leslie exposes counterfeit manhood and shows young women the differences between the way the majority of modern guys are and the way God wants them to be.
Leslie teaches her readers that God created women to be cherished and although a large number of Christian men are not the valiant warriors God desires for them to be, women should not lose heart or give up their dream of marrying a godly man.
In Chapter Three, "Unlocking Your Feminine Power", readers are encouraged to influence the men in their lives towards strength and godly character. Leslie shows how arrogant, nagging, seductive femininity only fuels the problems that men are facing and instructs her readers how to apply God's standards in their lives, which in turn transforms their relationships.
Leslie stresses purity and accountability as you enter into a relationship and offers a "code of conduct" chapter to help you set up some basic guidelines for maintaining a God honoring relationship with the opposite sex.
From casual friendships to preparing for marriage, this book will help you maintain appropriate standards and boundaries in your relationships.
September 8, 2009
Definitley a quick read since it's only 150 pages long. But, it packs alot of good advice in a small book. The way that she presents things to girls makes you stop and examine the way you interact with the opposite sex. The practical advice that she gives about handeling tough situations is something every girl needs to take into consideration. If you truely want a God honoring relationship, then you need to remember that Jesus is the author of your romance and He's the ultimate lover of your soul. No guy can fulfill that need that we have as women to be unconditionally loved.
September 30, 2011
I definately liked this book..as well as all the other books I have read by Eric and Leslie Ludy. This book really gives you a different perspective to modern men today both Christian and men that are not so Christ focused.....it really gives you things to think about and it is an easy book to relate to.
August 13, 2014
Great for girls that are not in a relationship, it has a lot of great advice of what to look for in a guy and much, much more. Highly suggest it. I don't recommend it to marriage girls/women, I'm married and read this book. Didn't find a lot that I would use for myself since it's more for girls/women that are not in a relationship.
September 26, 2010
I enjoyed Leslie's book "Set-Apart Femininity" more than I liked this one. I really enjoyed her practical tips and fresh point of view. She has an awesome message in this book - maybe it just didn't make as deep an impression on me as "Set-Apart Femininity." =)
June 3, 2010
I wish i had read this book 14 years ago. It has valuable information about how and why we should protect our interaction with men (as women). Beautiful standard setting material for any young woman who is growing up!
March 21, 2011
This book is for any girls that want to understand how guys thing and why they do the things they do. It will not only cause you to see the guys in your school or church better but also give you a new look at your brothers and father.
April 12, 2013
This is one of the best books I've read. It's message is so much more than just "don't flirt, dress modestly, etc."(though it does cover those topics), but making Jesus Christ our focus and our first love. I would highly recommend it to any girl.
June 1, 2010
Gave it to my teen to read.
January 11, 2011
Good, clear-cut answers and message to frequently asked questions about guys.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews