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What Was I Thinking?: Things I've Learned Since I Knew It All
Seminary professor, radio broadcaster, and former pastor Steve Brown is tired. He confesses, "I'm tired of glib answers to hard questions, irrelevant 'God words' and stark, cold foundations on which no house has ever been built." So he set out to revitalize his faith by reexamining his thoughts and his faith. And he shares his invigorating discoveries with readers. A potent tonic for those whose faith feels flat, What Was I Thinking? fully engages the heart, mind, and soul.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published July 18, 2006
12 people are currently reading
104 people want to read
About the author
Steve Brown
46 books53 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Steve Brown is a radio broadcaster, seminary professor and author. He previously served as a pastor for over twenty-five years and now devotes much of his time to the radio broadcast, Key Life.
With such varied experience and unique perspective on life, Steve is an original. He refuses to be a "guru," doesn't want to be anyone's mother and gives, in his teaching, the freedom to think. Overall, Steve has become known for his refreshing and practical Biblical applications.
Steve serves as Professor Emeritus of Preaching and Pastoral Ministry at Reformed Theological Seminary. He sits on the board of the National Religious Broadcasters and Harvest USA. Traveling extensively, Steve is a much-in-demand speaker.
Steve is the author of numerous books including A Scandalous Freedom, What Was I Thinking? and Approaching God. His articles appear in such magazines and journals as Leadership, Decision, Plain Truth and Today's Christian Woman.
Steve Brown is a radio broadcaster, seminary professor and author. He previously served as a pastor for over twenty-five years and now devotes much of his time to the radio broadcast, Key Life.
With such varied experience and unique perspective on life, Steve is an original. He refuses to be a "guru," doesn't want to be anyone's mother and gives, in his teaching, the freedom to think. Overall, Steve has become known for his refreshing and practical Biblical applications.
Steve serves as Professor Emeritus of Preaching and Pastoral Ministry at Reformed Theological Seminary. He sits on the board of the National Religious Broadcasters and Harvest USA. Traveling extensively, Steve is a much-in-demand speaker.
Steve is the author of numerous books including A Scandalous Freedom, What Was I Thinking? and Approaching God. His articles appear in such magazines and journals as Leadership, Decision, Plain Truth and Today's Christian Woman.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
January 11, 2009
I have been fascinated with this mans ministry for the past month, listening to many audio messages and have now read this and another of his books. I find his message scary but freeing, different but warm and caring, biblical when he explains it but heresy when I think of it against the backdrop of what I've been conditioned to think and believe.
This book is about the things he used to think when he was a young christian and what he thinks now as hes studied more, sinned more, been forgiven more, prayed more, loved more and laughed more. He is a grand story teller who repeats himself, no doubt for the same reasons God does, so that he can make himself very clear about the foundation of his ministry, that we are free in Christ to live, love, and even if we do sin we sin without the condemnation of God breathing down our necks, all the while clearly pointing out that he in no way is making excuses for sin. He stresses the need for repentance, the need for prayer, the need to cuss every now and then and to be authentic with God, as if he doesn't already know how bad you are. To Pastor Brown we have a major problem in that we are not real with anyone, we have a facade we have put up that serves as our identity so thats others won't know how bad we can be, he said work at a church and you will seee the truth of this, theres no doubt he is iconoclastic, but at the same time he'll quote Luther and then Tony Campolo, he'll say he loves Benny Hinn but would love to sock him in the nose. His books have been a ride I think I will cherish for a long time.
This book is 214 pages, each chapter 15-20 pages, and he discusses such topics as the Power of God, The Radical nature of Jesus, the Holy Spirits work in the world being far greater and broader than we can imagine, (loved this chapter),Love is stronger than He Thought, Self-Righteousness is a bigger problem than he thought, (this is rough on your soul). There are others but these are the highlights, and the other chapters I didn't mention are filled with great stories, heart warming anecdotes and funny illustrations, many times I laugh out loud and want to call someone to share my laughter with. This all being said, I felt like I was in a spiritual funk until I started reading this wise mans words, I am going through the Bible again with a different thought in mind and that being to truly let God speak to me, as someone he loves unconditionally rather than reading it because I feel its my duty. To conclude I would say Pastor Brown makes it clear that all this stuff has driven him to be more obedient, more loving, more aware of his depravity and more in love with Jesus than ever before, so thats good enough for me.
This book is about the things he used to think when he was a young christian and what he thinks now as hes studied more, sinned more, been forgiven more, prayed more, loved more and laughed more. He is a grand story teller who repeats himself, no doubt for the same reasons God does, so that he can make himself very clear about the foundation of his ministry, that we are free in Christ to live, love, and even if we do sin we sin without the condemnation of God breathing down our necks, all the while clearly pointing out that he in no way is making excuses for sin. He stresses the need for repentance, the need for prayer, the need to cuss every now and then and to be authentic with God, as if he doesn't already know how bad you are. To Pastor Brown we have a major problem in that we are not real with anyone, we have a facade we have put up that serves as our identity so thats others won't know how bad we can be, he said work at a church and you will seee the truth of this, theres no doubt he is iconoclastic, but at the same time he'll quote Luther and then Tony Campolo, he'll say he loves Benny Hinn but would love to sock him in the nose. His books have been a ride I think I will cherish for a long time.
This book is 214 pages, each chapter 15-20 pages, and he discusses such topics as the Power of God, The Radical nature of Jesus, the Holy Spirits work in the world being far greater and broader than we can imagine, (loved this chapter),Love is stronger than He Thought, Self-Righteousness is a bigger problem than he thought, (this is rough on your soul). There are others but these are the highlights, and the other chapters I didn't mention are filled with great stories, heart warming anecdotes and funny illustrations, many times I laugh out loud and want to call someone to share my laughter with. This all being said, I felt like I was in a spiritual funk until I started reading this wise mans words, I am going through the Bible again with a different thought in mind and that being to truly let God speak to me, as someone he loves unconditionally rather than reading it because I feel its my duty. To conclude I would say Pastor Brown makes it clear that all this stuff has driven him to be more obedient, more loving, more aware of his depravity and more in love with Jesus than ever before, so thats good enough for me.
March 7, 2016
I’m currently reading a book by Steve Brown titles What Was I Thinking? Things I’ve Learned Since I Knew It All. Brown’s books are wonderful. Like me, he is a conservative Christian who believes in the inspiration of Scripture. Doctrinally, I think we are fairly similar. Yet, his writing takes you to new levels of reflection. The first time I read anything by Brown I remember thinking to myself that he was either a heretic or a genius – and it took me a while to figure out which. I’ve settled on genius. Brown writes in a way that is provocative. It’s like he is intentionally picking on the scabs conservative Christians walk around with. What he says makes you angry until you slowly start to realize it’s not Brown that is angering you, but rather God’s Word. And faced with that realization, there is nothing left to do but repent.
Basically, Brown makes me think. I’m sure some people find him annoying – some may have even settled on heretical – but I appreciate him. Here’s a quote from What Was I Thinking? that I currently can’t get out of my mind:
“Our gift to the world is not one of anger, judgment, or condemnation. Our gift to the world is to find where the Holy Spirit is creating beauty, speaking truth, and manifesting goodness—and when we find it, to identify it, enjoy it, affirm it, and get involved in it” (p. 64)
It’s that’s first sentence that has stuck with me … “Our [Christians] gift to the world is not one of anger, judgment, or condemnation.” Too often, that’s the face we present to world around us – anger, judgment, and condemnation. When, in reality, the Church should be an extension of God’s gift to the world – grace, mercy, and salvation through His Son.
Brown makes the further point that because of our anger and disgust with the world around us, Christians often retreat to the Church. We take safe haven in our churches and our Christian subculture because we are convinced that’s where the Holy Spirit is. We do it because it makes us feel safe yet our safety comes at the expense of the culture around us. We create a divide between the sacred and the secular and then refuse to cross it for fear of sacrificing our own righteousness. But it’s important to understand that this divide is man made. From God’s perspective there is no “secular”. The gospel of John makes that clear:
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. 5 The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. (John 1:1-5)
All things came into being through Him. It’s this fact that gives God the authority to speak into the hearts of every man and into the core of every situation. It’s that fact that gives Jesus the authority to forgive our sins. It’s that fact that gives God the right to determine that salvation must be accomplished according to His plan rather than our own. It’s that fact that is the foundation of grace. And when we retreat in disgust from the world around us and take refuge in our Christian subculture we are failing to take that gift of grace to the very people that need it the most. Jesus understood this. That’s why He hung out with sinners. That’s why He said,“It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17). Even the Great Commission, our marching orders from Christ, instruct us to take His message of grace to the world, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:18-20).
When Christians present nothing to the world but anger, judgment, and condemnation and then retreat back to the safety of our own Christian subculture, we are forfeiting the one gift we have to give the world. It is imperative that Christians refuse to forfeit our input and voice to the culture we live in. Music, arts, literature, science … all of these things stand to benefit from the input of Christians.
If we want to deliver Christ’s grace to the world, we must be engaged in the world. Jesus once prayed for His disciples, “14 I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 15 I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one” (John 17:14-15, emphasis mine). Notice that Jesus didn’t pray for His disciples to be taken out of the world; rather, He prayed that they be kept safe from the evil one as they engaged the world for Him.
Christ’s prayer should be the strategy of the Church. Rather than withdrawing from the world and drawing imaginary lines between the secular and the sacred, we should engage the world. We should deliver Christ’s gospel to the sic and refuse to sacrifice our voice while tending to our own safety.
Genius.
Basically, Brown makes me think. I’m sure some people find him annoying – some may have even settled on heretical – but I appreciate him. Here’s a quote from What Was I Thinking? that I currently can’t get out of my mind:
“Our gift to the world is not one of anger, judgment, or condemnation. Our gift to the world is to find where the Holy Spirit is creating beauty, speaking truth, and manifesting goodness—and when we find it, to identify it, enjoy it, affirm it, and get involved in it” (p. 64)
It’s that’s first sentence that has stuck with me … “Our [Christians] gift to the world is not one of anger, judgment, or condemnation.” Too often, that’s the face we present to world around us – anger, judgment, and condemnation. When, in reality, the Church should be an extension of God’s gift to the world – grace, mercy, and salvation through His Son.
Brown makes the further point that because of our anger and disgust with the world around us, Christians often retreat to the Church. We take safe haven in our churches and our Christian subculture because we are convinced that’s where the Holy Spirit is. We do it because it makes us feel safe yet our safety comes at the expense of the culture around us. We create a divide between the sacred and the secular and then refuse to cross it for fear of sacrificing our own righteousness. But it’s important to understand that this divide is man made. From God’s perspective there is no “secular”. The gospel of John makes that clear:
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. 5 The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. (John 1:1-5)
All things came into being through Him. It’s this fact that gives God the authority to speak into the hearts of every man and into the core of every situation. It’s that fact that gives Jesus the authority to forgive our sins. It’s that fact that gives God the right to determine that salvation must be accomplished according to His plan rather than our own. It’s that fact that is the foundation of grace. And when we retreat in disgust from the world around us and take refuge in our Christian subculture we are failing to take that gift of grace to the very people that need it the most. Jesus understood this. That’s why He hung out with sinners. That’s why He said,“It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17). Even the Great Commission, our marching orders from Christ, instruct us to take His message of grace to the world, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:18-20).
When Christians present nothing to the world but anger, judgment, and condemnation and then retreat back to the safety of our own Christian subculture, we are forfeiting the one gift we have to give the world. It is imperative that Christians refuse to forfeit our input and voice to the culture we live in. Music, arts, literature, science … all of these things stand to benefit from the input of Christians.
If we want to deliver Christ’s grace to the world, we must be engaged in the world. Jesus once prayed for His disciples, “14 I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 15 I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one” (John 17:14-15, emphasis mine). Notice that Jesus didn’t pray for His disciples to be taken out of the world; rather, He prayed that they be kept safe from the evil one as they engaged the world for Him.
Christ’s prayer should be the strategy of the Church. Rather than withdrawing from the world and drawing imaginary lines between the secular and the sacred, we should engage the world. We should deliver Christ’s gospel to the sic and refuse to sacrifice our voice while tending to our own safety.
Genius.
September 3, 2017
The real deal
This book is the honest truth. I feel like Steve was talking to me as a friend. He doesn't sugarcoat or act like he knows it all or pretend that life as a Christian is perfect. I could relate to him because we're both flawed and we know it. But God continues to work and move in each of our lives in ways that encourage and sustain us. I appreciated his thoughtful perspective. I'll be reading more of his books, for sure!
This book is the honest truth. I feel like Steve was talking to me as a friend. He doesn't sugarcoat or act like he knows it all or pretend that life as a Christian is perfect. I could relate to him because we're both flawed and we know it. But God continues to work and move in each of our lives in ways that encourage and sustain us. I appreciated his thoughtful perspective. I'll be reading more of his books, for sure!
October 10, 2008
I've REALLY enjoyed this book -- Especially because of my PCA background. My briefcase containing the book was stolen last week, so I haven't finished the book yet. BUT, I can't wait to get my hands on another copy.
June 24, 2008
Steve Brown is open and honest and hits right in the center of your heart. As always, he helps to equip you to be a faithful follower of God.
December 1, 2008
Best title ever. And one of the best books I've ever read. Steve Brown is a Calvinistic seminary professor. But he's not a know it all. He's humble and genuine. I loved this book.
October 24, 2009
If you have been a reader of Steve Brown, you will enjoy this book very much. He is never afraid to admit when he is wrong. I am very excited about the changes he has made in the last 20 years.
January 1, 2015
I loved this book.
February 7, 2018
Great book on some of the foundational beliefs of God. Very readable and applicable. Very engaging. A good book to read when your struggling or you think others are.
Read
July 15, 2018How our ideas and opinions change and mellow over time.
July 29, 2020
"Jesus likes me big time, and my default position is to run to him. I always think he'll be angry, tell me he's had it with me, and tell me to become a Buddhist instead. But that has never happened. And it's always surprising. Our family has always had German shepherds. . . The other four are now in heaven, and if you don't believe that dogs go to heaven, keep your spurious theological views to yourself."
This book was just what I needed. I used it as a bible study, reading about a chapter a day. It made me laugh and it made me cry, and it gave me an entirely new perspective on my relationship with Christ - how He sees me and loves me despite my sin and failure. I, too, thought I had reached a place in my life where I knew it all (and if not all then pretty close to all). Boy was I wrong. For what it's worth, I highly recommend you read this book. Spoiler alert: You will probably find out that you don't really know it all.
This book was just what I needed. I used it as a bible study, reading about a chapter a day. It made me laugh and it made me cry, and it gave me an entirely new perspective on my relationship with Christ - how He sees me and loves me despite my sin and failure. I, too, thought I had reached a place in my life where I knew it all (and if not all then pretty close to all). Boy was I wrong. For what it's worth, I highly recommend you read this book. Spoiler alert: You will probably find out that you don't really know it all.
August 2, 2025
I read Steve Brown to get a jolt, a good jolt to help me see things in my heart more clearly. The subtitle is "Things I've learned Since I knew It All." It makes me think that this is an honest memoir of sorts of his spiritual journey, lessons learned in his life as an educator, pastor, counsellor and friend. Brown is the sort of gentleman that eats dessert first. He makes me laugh, but he also drives deep in my soul to show me my cynicism, tendency toward self-righteousness, and recognition that the church is a peculiar organization "where the only qualification for membership is not being qualified." I like that.
August 28, 2019
Under the guise of being wrong in spiritual thought and having “seen the light”, the book is more about an evolution in spiritual growth.
From a biblical perspective he grew past the milk and found himself ready for meat. That he had a foundation and built on it is the path all should follow.
Written in a subtle, self-deprecating, humorous tone, author Steve Brown never shies away from a firm stand of Bible belief. He was never shaky it seems, but this book reflects the reinforcement he found in the Word.
It’ll make you think about your thinking.
From a biblical perspective he grew past the milk and found himself ready for meat. That he had a foundation and built on it is the path all should follow.
Written in a subtle, self-deprecating, humorous tone, author Steve Brown never shies away from a firm stand of Bible belief. He was never shaky it seems, but this book reflects the reinforcement he found in the Word.
It’ll make you think about your thinking.
September 19, 2021
Great book by a wise old man
I love all of Steve Brown’s books. Every one reminds me of the gospel and the fact that I am loved in spite of myself. This book contains a lifetime of reading. I wish I had read this book thirty years ago when I was a young Christian dealing with the false guilt of forgiven sin.
I love all of Steve Brown’s books. Every one reminds me of the gospel and the fact that I am loved in spite of myself. This book contains a lifetime of reading. I wish I had read this book thirty years ago when I was a young Christian dealing with the false guilt of forgiven sin.
October 9, 2021
Great perspectives that Christians should at least think about
I liked the wit and wisdom Steve Brown brings to his writing. Sometimes there was affirmation that encouraged me. Other times , I was challenged in my thinking. But, I enjoyed the book cover to covered.
I liked the wit and wisdom Steve Brown brings to his writing. Sometimes there was affirmation that encouraged me. Other times , I was challenged in my thinking. But, I enjoyed the book cover to covered.
February 12, 2023
I don't think there was anything new in this book but it's the stuff that we all need to hear over and over again, because it's so easy to think about God and ourselves all the wrong ways. I read a library copy but I think I'd like to get my own copy to read again sometime ... and again.
July 16, 2019
کتابی بسیار زیبا از اعترافات و درد و دل های یک کشیش مسیحی بعد از سال ها تعیم و راهنمایی دیگران. سادگی کتاب و نیز صداقت گفتار آرامش خاصی برای هر فردی هنگام خواندن این کتاب هدیه می دهد.
نکات مهم کتاب:
الف) برای پاکان همه چیز پاک است. اگر جهان بینی انسان خوب باشد حتی از چیزهای به ظاهر ناپاک و نیز مکان های به ظاهر نامناسب و مصاحبت با افراد بی ایمان نیز هر فردی می تواند نکات مثبت را برداشت کند ولی اگر کسی جهان بینی کامل نداشته باشد حتی از بودن در مسجد و کلیسا نیز بهره ای نخواهد برد.
ب) کلیسا و مکان های مقدس برخلاف دیدگاه معمول جای انسان های شکست خورده است کسایی که به این درک رسیده اند که خطا کرده اند ولی بخشش از
جانب خداست. انسان خطاکار بهتر به درد انسان خطا کار دیگر آشنا هست پس هیچ گاه صرفا به خاطر خطایی که انجام دادی از خدا رویگردان نباش
ج) کتاب های مقدس قرار نیست که چراغ هدایت کامل برای ما باشند گاهی ما تمام نکات ریز و درشت خود را از کتاب های مقدس جستجو می کنیم حال آنکه از صورت ها دل بکن و به سمت خدای واقعی برو او است که تسکین درد ها است
د) صرفا با ادعا نمی توان به درستی چیزی ایمان آورد حقیقت را می توان در ورطه آزمون قرار داد اگر این حقیقت چیزی در درون خود داشته باشد مطمئن باشد خود خواهد توانست از گزند دیدگاه های دیگران بر بیایید
ه) محبت در قبال نیکویی دیگران محبت نیست بلکه پاداش برای آنان است کار بزرگ را کسی انجام می دهد که بتواند در قبال بدی دیگران محبت کند
و) اگه گناه نبود لذت بخشیده شدن و بخشیدن هم وجود نمی داشت
ز) هیچ گاه فرض نکن تو مرتکب خطا نخواهی شد یک ستون عظیم و بزرگ خیلی راحت سقوط می کند
ح) هر چه بیشتر چشمانت را باز کنی بیشتر معجزات خدا بر تو آشکار می شود ولی اگر بر معجزه اول چشم ببندی و شکرگذار آن نباشی، معجزه دیگر هم از راه نخواهد رسید
ط) قدرت واقعی خدا را در سختی ها و تنهایی ها می توان درک کرد
ی) اصل زندگی در این است که قوی ترها زنده می انند و ضعیف ترها خواهند مرد پس سعی کن قویترین باشی
ک) کسی که بلند داد می زند دلیل بر این نیس که حقیقت را می گوید
نکات مهم کتاب:
الف) برای پاکان همه چیز پاک است. اگر جهان بینی انسان خوب باشد حتی از چیزهای به ظاهر ناپاک و نیز مکان های به ظاهر نامناسب و مصاحبت با افراد بی ایمان نیز هر فردی می تواند نکات مثبت را برداشت کند ولی اگر کسی جهان بینی کامل نداشته باشد حتی از بودن در مسجد و کلیسا نیز بهره ای نخواهد برد.
ب) کلیسا و مکان های مقدس برخلاف دیدگاه معمول جای انسان های شکست خورده است کسایی که به این درک رسیده اند که خطا کرده اند ولی بخشش از
جانب خداست. انسان خطاکار بهتر به درد انسان خطا کار دیگر آشنا هست پس هیچ گاه صرفا به خاطر خطایی که انجام دادی از خدا رویگردان نباش
ج) کتاب های مقدس قرار نیست که چراغ هدایت کامل برای ما باشند گاهی ما تمام نکات ریز و درشت خود را از کتاب های مقدس جستجو می کنیم حال آنکه از صورت ها دل بکن و به سمت خدای واقعی برو او است که تسکین درد ها است
د) صرفا با ادعا نمی توان به درستی چیزی ایمان آورد حقیقت را می توان در ورطه آزمون قرار داد اگر این حقیقت چیزی در درون خود داشته باشد مطمئن باشد خود خواهد توانست از گزند دیدگاه های دیگران بر بیایید
ه) محبت در قبال نیکویی دیگران محبت نیست بلکه پاداش برای آنان است کار بزرگ را کسی انجام می دهد که بتواند در قبال بدی دیگران محبت کند
و) اگه گناه نبود لذت بخشیده شدن و بخشیدن هم وجود نمی داشت
ز) هیچ گاه فرض نکن تو مرتکب خطا نخواهی شد یک ستون عظیم و بزرگ خیلی راحت سقوط می کند
ح) هر چه بیشتر چشمانت را باز کنی بیشتر معجزات خدا بر تو آشکار می شود ولی اگر بر معجزه اول چشم ببندی و شکرگذار آن نباشی، معجزه دیگر هم از راه نخواهد رسید
ط) قدرت واقعی خدا را در سختی ها و تنهایی ها می توان درک کرد
ی) اصل زندگی در این است که قوی ترها زنده می انند و ضعیف ترها خواهند مرد پس سعی کن قویترین باشی
ک) کسی که بلند داد می زند دلیل بر این نیس که حقیقت را می گوید
July 30, 2016
I found this book disjointed and hard to get through. You had to wade through a lot of muck to find a couple small diamonds. Not saying that I didn't agree with most of what he wrote, just really disliked his style of writing and how he presented his message.
March 27, 2017
Thoughtful book with tons of good humor.
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