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No Mere Mortals
A man should look at his wife or fiancée and gasp.
Do you know what God has given you or is in the process of giving you? That woman, that terrifying, glorious woman made in His image, was created by God and redeemed with the precious blood of Jesus, and the Holy Spirit has taken up residence in her. She is of immense value to God. She is precious to Him. She is His daughter, an heir of the promise, a co-heir of the grace of life with you. Do you feel that? Does it make your chest knot up? Do you get a little bit afraid? Maybe a lot afraid? Good. Hold that pose.
In recent decades, we have essentially reduced marriage to a permanent roommate situation with sexual benefits. But marriage is not about something as low-stakes as “who gets to control the remote.” Your husband or wife is no mere mortal, but an eternal soul who is going to grow closer to God or further from Him because they are married to you. Add children to the mix—even more eternal souls! That’s why the biblical picture of the family is something far more powerful, far more dangerous, far more glorious—far more like a nuclear reactor—than anything else in modern society.
No Mere Mortals: Marriage for People Who Will Live Forever shows how husbands can lead their wives, and how wives can follow their husbands, and how both together, building on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ, can shape future generations and the world.
Do you know what God has given you or is in the process of giving you? That woman, that terrifying, glorious woman made in His image, was created by God and redeemed with the precious blood of Jesus, and the Holy Spirit has taken up residence in her. She is of immense value to God. She is precious to Him. She is His daughter, an heir of the promise, a co-heir of the grace of life with you. Do you feel that? Does it make your chest knot up? Do you get a little bit afraid? Maybe a lot afraid? Good. Hold that pose.
In recent decades, we have essentially reduced marriage to a permanent roommate situation with sexual benefits. But marriage is not about something as low-stakes as “who gets to control the remote.” Your husband or wife is no mere mortal, but an eternal soul who is going to grow closer to God or further from Him because they are married to you. Add children to the mix—even more eternal souls! That’s why the biblical picture of the family is something far more powerful, far more dangerous, far more glorious—far more like a nuclear reactor—than anything else in modern society.
No Mere Mortals: Marriage for People Who Will Live Forever shows how husbands can lead their wives, and how wives can follow their husbands, and how both together, building on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ, can shape future generations and the world.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published November 17, 2020
90 people are currently reading
720 people want to read
About the author
Toby J. Sumpter
16 books89 followersToby J. Sumpter serves as pastor King's Cross Church in Moscow, Idaho. He holds a B.A. in Liberal Arts and Culture from New St. Andrews College (2002) and an M.A. in Theological Studies with an emphasis in Church History from Erskine Theological Seminary (2008). He is the author of Blood Bought World and Job Through New Eyes: A Son for Glory. He and his wife, Jenny, have four children, and his favorite hobby is eating peanut butter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews
July 21, 2022
2022: Excellent. (Listened this time on the Canon+ App)
Fantastic. I’m grateful for pastors, like Toby Sumpter, who take the task to write for both men and women in a direct, Biblical, and punchy way. With no fear of offending the feminist agenda or soft complementarianism. This is a great read.
Fantastic. I’m grateful for pastors, like Toby Sumpter, who take the task to write for both men and women in a direct, Biblical, and punchy way. With no fear of offending the feminist agenda or soft complementarianism. This is a great read.
November 21, 2021
Absolutely loved it. Will recommend & buy as wedding shower gifts.
December 18, 2020
I must admit, I bought this because Toby is a friend (and one of my pastors), but I thought, "Do I really need this? I've read lots of books and heard lots of sermons on marriage—so this will be luxury reading, gratuitous reading." I felt almost embarrassed, like I had to make excuses for reading it!
So glad I pushed past that silly self-consciousness and read it anyway. This is one of the best and most joyful books I've ever read of any genre. First, it is simply easy. Even if you aren't much of a reader, you won't have trouble with this book. You feel like you're chatting with Toby over a cup of coffee. His style is effortless and conversational. Second, the truths here are beyond beautiful, encouraging, and convicting. Even if you aren't married (or thinking about getting married), there are lessons here about men and women, obedience, forgiveness, purity, repentance, and glory that every person needs.
I'd heard lots of marriage teaching from the covenant angle, but none that started where Toby starts here: you are an immortal. You will live forever. You will be a creature of glory (or a Gollum) for eternity. That is who you are, and that is who you will marry. Therefore, what do we think about headship? Submission? Beauty? Sex? Motherhood? Female pastors? Female cops? Effeminate men? Marriage vows? Birth control? Porn? Divorce?
I've known forever that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, but until this book, I hadn't quite seen how. This is a life-changing read. I couldn't put it down, and I didn't want it to end.
"Be good. Get married. Keep your vows. Live forever."
So glad I pushed past that silly self-consciousness and read it anyway. This is one of the best and most joyful books I've ever read of any genre. First, it is simply easy. Even if you aren't much of a reader, you won't have trouble with this book. You feel like you're chatting with Toby over a cup of coffee. His style is effortless and conversational. Second, the truths here are beyond beautiful, encouraging, and convicting. Even if you aren't married (or thinking about getting married), there are lessons here about men and women, obedience, forgiveness, purity, repentance, and glory that every person needs.
I'd heard lots of marriage teaching from the covenant angle, but none that started where Toby starts here: you are an immortal. You will live forever. You will be a creature of glory (or a Gollum) for eternity. That is who you are, and that is who you will marry. Therefore, what do we think about headship? Submission? Beauty? Sex? Motherhood? Female pastors? Female cops? Effeminate men? Marriage vows? Birth control? Porn? Divorce?
I've known forever that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, but until this book, I hadn't quite seen how. This is a life-changing read. I couldn't put it down, and I didn't want it to end.
"Be good. Get married. Keep your vows. Live forever."
May 24, 2022
This is an outstanding and thorough book on marriage.
January 13, 2023
Excellent book. Definitely a one I'm planning on purchasing instead of listening to in two days.
He discusses marriage in a way that I believe is helpful for marrieds and engageds and singles preparing for marriage. He discusses marriage in light of eternity. As he so oft repeats throughout the book in various ways, "the person you are marrying is am immortal." This fact and the reasons for it should shape how men and women should view marriage.
He discusses marriage in a way that I believe is helpful for marrieds and engageds and singles preparing for marriage. He discusses marriage in light of eternity. As he so oft repeats throughout the book in various ways, "the person you are marrying is am immortal." This fact and the reasons for it should shape how men and women should view marriage.
May 18, 2025
3.5
I know many of my dear Christian brothers and sisters have been richly blessed by this book, and some may disagree with my take. To be clear, I was blessed by it as well. However, it wouldn’t be my first recommendation for a book on marriage.
While No Mere Mortals is helpful in many ways, I found it too caught up in confronting secular cultural maxims. In doing so, it risks missing the true crown jewel of marriage: the glory of Christ and the Church. Cultural lies are indeed worth identifying and refuting—they should not be ignored. But as long as sinful humanity endures, such ideas will always shift and resurface in new forms.
What is timeless—and what I believe Scripture emphasises—is a much grander theology of marriage. Perhaps it is God’s wisdom that He does not provide a detailed manual for marriage for a certain cultural context, but instead gives us a picture: Christ and His Bride. He gives us the gospel and tells us that marriage is a reflection of that mystery.
This book begins well in capturing that vision, but eventually becomes entangled in Toby’s pastoral commentary on various cultural and practical issues. While much of that commentary is rooted in biblical wisdom and may be genuinely helpful, it can cloud the central, glorious reality that sinners entering marriage most need to see: Christ Himself—His character, His love, His grace for sinners, and His unwavering devotion to the glory of God in all things.
I know many of my dear Christian brothers and sisters have been richly blessed by this book, and some may disagree with my take. To be clear, I was blessed by it as well. However, it wouldn’t be my first recommendation for a book on marriage.
While No Mere Mortals is helpful in many ways, I found it too caught up in confronting secular cultural maxims. In doing so, it risks missing the true crown jewel of marriage: the glory of Christ and the Church. Cultural lies are indeed worth identifying and refuting—they should not be ignored. But as long as sinful humanity endures, such ideas will always shift and resurface in new forms.
What is timeless—and what I believe Scripture emphasises—is a much grander theology of marriage. Perhaps it is God’s wisdom that He does not provide a detailed manual for marriage for a certain cultural context, but instead gives us a picture: Christ and His Bride. He gives us the gospel and tells us that marriage is a reflection of that mystery.
This book begins well in capturing that vision, but eventually becomes entangled in Toby’s pastoral commentary on various cultural and practical issues. While much of that commentary is rooted in biblical wisdom and may be genuinely helpful, it can cloud the central, glorious reality that sinners entering marriage most need to see: Christ Himself—His character, His love, His grace for sinners, and His unwavering devotion to the glory of God in all things.
June 23, 2022
This was an excellent book. This book was intended for married couples and engaged couples but I feel like this was mostly meant for people who are engaged or will soon be engaged. He talks about everything from why you get married and what the purpose of marriage truly is to what you practically should expect living with someone of the opposite sex. He also touches on the importance of deciding on certain things with your soon to be spouse before getting married, like views on birth control, baptism, finances, etc. all things that both parties need to be in agreement with before the big day arrives. At the end he even talks about what a marriage ceremony should looks like and what you can do to ensure that Christ is the main focus of it all instead of making it solely about the two people getting married.
I would 100% recommend this book to anyone who is engaged or who will soon be engaged. It certainly helped me consider more aspects of marriage and what to expect as I enter that next chapter of life.
I would 100% recommend this book to anyone who is engaged or who will soon be engaged. It certainly helped me consider more aspects of marriage and what to expect as I enter that next chapter of life.
June 2, 2022
One of if not the best books I've read on the topic of marriage. Toby does a really good job at staying true to the complimentarian view of marriage that Scripture lays out. He doesn't shy around topics that are hard to hear and he speaks with conviction on both the male and female responsibilities in marriage.
October 13, 2020
This is the best book on marriage I've ever read. Toby condenses everything Douglas Wilson has ever written about marriage into a high-potency distillate and then mixes in his own wisdom and experience to make a Sumpterous cocktail. Drink up!
April 23, 2023
Listened to the audio version. One of the best books on marriage available today.
February 11, 2021
An absolutely stellar book. This may become my default go-to for pre-marital counseling. Sumpter nails it: theologically thorough, strait-forwardly practical, and thoroughly counter-cultural (and unembarrassed about it). It’s very user-friendly (every chapter addresses men and women, for example, even chapters written predominantly to one and not the other), and I commend it highly.
June 5, 2023
Probably my favorite book on marriage after Tim Keller’s. Highly recommend.
February 23, 2022
Highest of recommendations!
Whether you’re dating, engaged, married or counseling a couple this is THE book to walk through. Toby does an excellent job laying out the foundation of biblical marriage and it’s implications. It is extremely summative covering everything from the purpose of marriage, to duties of wives and husbands, sex, birth control, child rearing, education, divorce and even the wedding ceremony. Thankful the Church has this resource!
Whether you’re dating, engaged, married or counseling a couple this is THE book to walk through. Toby does an excellent job laying out the foundation of biblical marriage and it’s implications. It is extremely summative covering everything from the purpose of marriage, to duties of wives and husbands, sex, birth control, child rearing, education, divorce and even the wedding ceremony. Thankful the Church has this resource!
January 13, 2021
Excellent book! Not simply for those who are married but there is plenty to glean as a single person as well.
August 16, 2025
Great pre-martial book that covers all the most important topics on husband and wife. Very solid biblical truth on what submission is and is not. I also really appreciated his chapter on purity before marriage and how to navigate that.
October 16, 2025
My favorite marriage book I’ve read so far, I highly recommend this.
May 26, 2022
The five stars don’t mean I quite agreed with all the author’s viewpoints. That being said, I think this book is extremely well-written, a truly biblical and beautiful look at what marriage should be.
June 8, 2025
I read this one back to back with Wilson's "My Life for Yours". I believe they compliment each other well. No Mere Mortals is especially geared as an aid for pre-marital counseling with questions at the end of each chapter for couples to discuss. Solid material.
October 14, 2022
Thought provoking and grounding. I appreciated a lot of what he had to say, and the way that he cuts through a lot of the unnecessary fogginess around many things around marriage, especially before it. I appreciate that he not only brought up the issue of porn, but also addressed it frankly, and advised those who have struggled with it consistently to seek council. I appreciate much of what he advised couples to discuss before marriage, just with general household things, and many of the lines he draws.
There were a few places where it felt like he was beating around the bush, specifically in chapter 15, which surprised me a little, because he generally, in the bit of his word and sermons that I have heard is very straight forward. On the whole though, I would recommend this to any couple looking into marriage, but I am not sure that I would recommend it to anyone not already engaged, or at least incredibly serious in their relationship and planning to become engaged in the near future, as much of what he talks about does not apply to those not in a relationship, and will likely have minimal helpful things to offer those not in relationships, as it was not written for them, and does not cater in any way to them.
There were a few places where it felt like he was beating around the bush, specifically in chapter 15, which surprised me a little, because he generally, in the bit of his word and sermons that I have heard is very straight forward. On the whole though, I would recommend this to any couple looking into marriage, but I am not sure that I would recommend it to anyone not already engaged, or at least incredibly serious in their relationship and planning to become engaged in the near future, as much of what he talks about does not apply to those not in a relationship, and will likely have minimal helpful things to offer those not in relationships, as it was not written for them, and does not cater in any way to them.
January 29, 2021
Not your everyday marriage book. Sumpter pulls no punches and gives you straight Gospel truths and pushes it to all of the corners. As the book progresses, it becomes more profitable for those dating or engaged, but I still found tremendous profit from it. I could see this book being a trusted source in premarital counseling in the future. Highly recommend for married and soon-to-be married couples!
March 11, 2022
Best book I've read on marriage in a long, long time. Most evangelical marriage books have little to add to the conversation because they stay too general. This one is wonderfully "theological and broad" while also being practical. It covers:
-How far is too far before marriage
-How to be beautiful women and strong men
-Birth control
-Practicals and theology behind a marriage ceremony
And so much more. (Read in a cheesy voice)
Been waiting to get my hands on a copy for a while.
-How far is too far before marriage
-How to be beautiful women and strong men
-Birth control
-Practicals and theology behind a marriage ceremony
And so much more. (Read in a cheesy voice)
Been waiting to get my hands on a copy for a while.
January 21, 2025
I very much enjoyed this. By far the best most practical marriage book I have ever read (I listened on Canon+!). Sumpter is simple and blunt. I appreciated that. Even the mostly solid books on matrimony that I read during my own engagement were fluffy compared to this. I think this is excellent for engaged couples and equally as helpful for married folks, too. I learned much, I want to own the paper copy so I can easily reference certain parts!
June 20, 2022
After putting a pause on this book for a year to give time to study, I quickly finished this must read. This is a book that I would encourage any dating, engaged, or married couple to read. You are dating or getting married to a person in the Lord who will live forever. Sumpter encouraged all to date and marry accordingly. One of the best all encompassing books I’ve read on the topic.
May 20, 2024
Truly a great read for about to be, just, or been married for awhile folks.
February 7, 2022
This is good for those married or not! A great way to look at marriage to really feel the weight of it all!
July 26, 2023
With the exception of 2 sentences on baptism 😜, this is an excellent book.
Highlights:
- great for premarital and marital counseling journeys
- pastoral, biblical, practical
- husband and wife roles clearly articulated
- role of parents and pastors/church explained
- end of chapter discussion guide to facilitate great conversation and foster communication
I thoroughly enjoyed reading through this and will make this one of my top recommended pre-marital books.
Highlights:
- great for premarital and marital counseling journeys
- pastoral, biblical, practical
- husband and wife roles clearly articulated
- role of parents and pastors/church explained
- end of chapter discussion guide to facilitate great conversation and foster communication
I thoroughly enjoyed reading through this and will make this one of my top recommended pre-marital books.
April 8, 2021
This marriage book is exactly what I've been looking for as a pre-marital counselor. Toby hits every major area I wanted him to, fundamentally structuring his book differently than most others that I have read. He hit hard and takes stands for positions that most marriage books won't touch with a ten-foot-pole. While I don't agree with every one of his stances, I am thankful to see an author willing to put his exegesis out there and allow us to agree or disagree. His chapters on roles, conflict, forgiveness and repentance are much needed in our culture and his chapter on "Babies, Birth-Control, and Barrenness" is gold.
I will recommend this to any married or engaged couple in the future. This is going to get some new territory of conversations going with your spouse (to-be).
I will recommend this to any married or engaged couple in the future. This is going to get some new territory of conversations going with your spouse (to-be).
February 12, 2022
Highly recommend as a premarital book (I've read several). Toby does a good job of keeping every chapter relevant to both parties involved and deals with all the major biblical issues regarding marriage (submission, sex, honor, love, weaker vessel, divorce etc..). He is unapologetically Presbyterian and patriarchal which obviously can be places where people will disagree with him. Agreeing with him on one of these two points (not the one involving water) Abi and I greatly appreciated his treatment of leadership and authority.
Sumpter knows what's going on in culture and is willing to call it out directly which is helpful to the reader. However it does make the work of a more temporary relevance as the current issues of the sexual revolution eventually are turned back through repentance and belief in Christ across our nation (Lord willing).
This book is gospel rich, pastorally insightful, biblically sound and will make you chuckle at many points. You really are marrying an immortal soul, if that doesn't blow you away then you need to sit down and think about it again for a minute.
Sumpter knows what's going on in culture and is willing to call it out directly which is helpful to the reader. However it does make the work of a more temporary relevance as the current issues of the sexual revolution eventually are turned back through repentance and belief in Christ across our nation (Lord willing).
This book is gospel rich, pastorally insightful, biblically sound and will make you chuckle at many points. You really are marrying an immortal soul, if that doesn't blow you away then you need to sit down and think about it again for a minute.
February 6, 2021
I really appreciated this book.
Though Mr. Sumpter assumes his readers are a little closer to being married or are already married I still gained a lot by reading this. There is a lot of very biblical wisdom and advice and I'm really glad I decided to read it. Some sections felt more applicable than others considering my point in life but all of it was good and necessary.
"Why did Jesus die? In order to cleanse the filthy, in order to take away every spot, wrinkle, and blemish.
He took our condemnation so that there might be no condemnation for those who look to Him.
This is the glorious story that fills the pages of Scripture:
Who was Rahab? A prostitute in Jericho who turned to the God of Israel and became the mother of Boaz, the great-grandmother of David, and the ancestress of the Messiah.
Who was Bathsheba? An adulteress, perhaps the victim of a political power play, and she became the mother of Solomon and the ancestress of the Messiah.
Who was Abraham? A foolish man who slept with his servant girl? Yes, and the father of all the faithful.
Who was David? A polygamist, an adulterer, an accomplice of murder? Yes, and a man after God’s own heart.
And so on.
Who are you? A sinner? Yes, and an heir of eternal life, a friend of God, and no mere mortal."
Though Mr. Sumpter assumes his readers are a little closer to being married or are already married I still gained a lot by reading this. There is a lot of very biblical wisdom and advice and I'm really glad I decided to read it. Some sections felt more applicable than others considering my point in life but all of it was good and necessary.
"Why did Jesus die? In order to cleanse the filthy, in order to take away every spot, wrinkle, and blemish.
He took our condemnation so that there might be no condemnation for those who look to Him.
This is the glorious story that fills the pages of Scripture:
Who was Rahab? A prostitute in Jericho who turned to the God of Israel and became the mother of Boaz, the great-grandmother of David, and the ancestress of the Messiah.
Who was Bathsheba? An adulteress, perhaps the victim of a political power play, and she became the mother of Solomon and the ancestress of the Messiah.
Who was Abraham? A foolish man who slept with his servant girl? Yes, and the father of all the faithful.
Who was David? A polygamist, an adulterer, an accomplice of murder? Yes, and a man after God’s own heart.
And so on.
Who are you? A sinner? Yes, and an heir of eternal life, a friend of God, and no mere mortal."
February 20, 2023
“Sometimes a man is tempted to do masculine looking things only as a distraction tactic. I don’t have time for my wife’s concerns I need to go hunting, I can’t discipline my kids, I need to read this fat theology book, that is effeminate too. Masculine strength understands which responsibilities are most pressing and prioritizes biblically. On the other hand, a man who never cultivates the masculine virtues of self sufficiency, self discipline, and self defense is on a path of Charmin softness and really should change course. “
“From just two passages in Deuteronomy and Ephesians we see that, God requires His people to teach their children to love him with all that they are, all day long. This necessarily excludes the public or government educational systems and programs that are intentionally and officially dedicated to teaching children that God is irrelevant. “
Just two quotes I liked .
“From just two passages in Deuteronomy and Ephesians we see that, God requires His people to teach their children to love him with all that they are, all day long. This necessarily excludes the public or government educational systems and programs that are intentionally and officially dedicated to teaching children that God is irrelevant. “
Just two quotes I liked .
Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews