Remembering Ethan

by Lesléa Newman, Tracy Nishimura Bishop (Illustrator)

One of Bank Street’s 2021 Best Children’s Books of the Year Ethan. Ethan. Ethan. Sarah misses her adored big brother with all her heart. She wants to celebrate all the fun times she and her parents spent with him. But ever since Ethan died, Mommy and Daddy won’t mention him. Sarah can’t even say his name without upsetting them. Why don’t they want to remember Ethan? Ethan is gone, but he won’t be forgotten as his sister rallies her family to never forget. Includes a note with recommendations of what to say and how to help children after the death of a loved one. A tender book to read alongside some useful books about death, such as The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst, The Memory A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland, and The Invisible String by Patrice Karst, beloved and bestselling author Lesléa Newman offers a tender tribute to a lost family member in this touching story that can help families start to heal.  

Genres: Picture Books, Grief, Death, Family, Realistic Fiction, Fiction, Childrens

47 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 2, 2020

About the author

Lesléa Newman (born 1955, Brooklyn, NY) is the author of over 50 books including Heather Has Two Mommies, A Letter To Harvey Milk, Writing From The Heart, In Every Laugh a Tear, The Femme Mystique, Still Life with Buddy, Fat Chance and Out of the Closet and Nothing to Wear.
She has received many literary awards including Poetry Fellowships from the Massachusetts Artists Fellowship Foundation and the National Endowment for the Arts, the Highlights for Children Fiction Writing Award, the James Baldwin Award for Cultural Achievement, and two Pushcart Prize Nominations.
Nine of her books have been Lambda Literary Award finalists.
Ms. Newman wrote Heather Has Two Mommies, the first children's book to portray lesbian families in a positive way, and has followed up this pioneering work with several more children's books on lesbian and gay families: Gloria Goes To Gay Pride, Belinda's Bouquet, Too Far Away to Touch, and Saturday Is Pattyday.
She is also the author of many books for adults that deal with lesbian identity, Jewish identity and the intersection and collision between the two. Other topics Ms. Newman explores include AIDS, eating disorders, butch/femme relationships and sexual abuse. Her award-winning short story, A Letter To Harvey Milk has been made into a film and adapted for the stage.
In addition to being an author, Ms. Newman is a popular guest lecturer, and has spoken on college campuses across the country including Harvard University, Yale University, the University of Oregon, Bryn Mawr College, Smith College and the University of Judaism. From 2005-2009, Lesléa was a faculty member of the Stonecoast MFA program at the University of Southern Maine. Currently, she is the Poet Laureate of Northampton, MA.

Reviews

[Reading_ Tamishly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stopped reading a good book in between and was getting ready to sleep when the notification came from #NetGalley that my request of the ARC of #RememberingEthan got approved. I downloaded the book and started reading it asap. Who needs sleep at times like this?

And... rightly so I started crying out of nowhere just into the second page. And I just couldn't stop crying after that until the last page.

It hurts to read about death and grief. But yes, I feel it's really important to know how to deal with them. We tend to oversee how children cope with it. And that's where this kind of book becomes the answer.
It had been so well executed. The artstyle is so amazing. It's a sad but it's comforting at the same time. It will teach the parents/adults to help the kids in the family in coping and coming in terms to the death of someone in the family or someone close to them. Rather than avoiding the situation as we adults tend to do most of the time, this tiny children's book shows how important.it is to deal with the matter at the right time.

Such an important read. Highly recommended.

My heart is still broken though.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

*thank you to Netgalley, Lesléa Newman and American Psychological Association/Magination Press for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review*


4 stars.


'Remembering Ethan' is a sweet and sad story about a sister who lost her brother and parents who are too hurt and sad to want to talk about it. Ethan is Sarah's big brother who passed away when he was a teenager. It doesn't tell us how or what happened but instead focus on how Sarah gets shut down each and everytime she mentions the brother she loves. Eventually the parents realise that remembering Ethan is the best thing to do and to always remember the special memories that he left behind.

For the most part I enjoyed this (well as much as one can when death is the topic in a little children's picture book.) But the part where Sarah's parents suddenly go from refusing to talk about him to suddenly flipping and being completely open about talking about him, just didn't sit right with me. I think there needs to be just a tiny bit added in the middle as to why the parents suddenly had a chance of heart. As adults we can already guess it. That the parents had decided that the best thing for them and little Sarah was to speak of him. But as a little kid, I'm guessing they either won't realise this piece is missing or they will also wonder.

Otherwise this is a great book and I can see it being a comfort to those who have lost a sibling or someone important to them but it's also a good one for bring up the topic of death. This book does that gently and is one I would recommend. Plus the illustrations are just simply stunning.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Death is hard on the living.

This excellent little picture book shows how a sibling wants to mourn her lost brother, but her parents are too heart broken to even say his name.

Grieving is hard, and this book is written to show the wrong way to do it, by shutting down, and the right way to do it, by sharing memories.



Lovely story, and will be a help to the children left behind when siblings die.

Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.

[Moriah Conant · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a wonderful resource for children who have lost a sibling. It highlights the complexities of how each individual deals with their grief differently, and how those differences can feel isolating. Toward the end of the book, the family is able to talk about Ethan and grieve together. I am planning on buying a copy of this book for work as a therapist with children.

I received a copy of this book from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Morris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a gorgeously illustrated book about the death of a sibling. It’s honest about grief, including how parents can unintentionally neglect the feelings of their other children, without being hopeless. The additional resources at the end are a nice addition.

This unbiased review is based on a complimentary copy provided by the publisher.

[Bandita · Rating 5 out of 5]

My heart...

Okay.

So this book is about a little girl who misses her deceased brother Ethan. This book made me feel FEELS a lot. This book is heartbreaking and yet very important. This books tells about grieving and the importance of grieving among children.

The illustrations were beautiful as well. It's a very important book.

[Dylan Teut · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very harsh parents who turn the girl away in her grief and overnight magically somehow make a huge transformation in their grieving process. Having served as a grief group facilitator for over 50 people in 4 years, and having worked through profound grief myself, the parents' behavior bothered me. The determination of the girl to not forget her brother, however, is admirable.

[Maria Marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

There a number of books for children about death. But these don't specifically address a child's perception of how other family members process their grief. And these other books deal with the loss of grandparents, parent, beloved pet, or friend, but not specifically a sibling. This book adds to and supplements this area of bibliotherapy.
Death is a tough subject to address with children, no matter their age. It's hard enough for adults to process. Often people deal with grief by remaining stoic, being there to deal with things and help everyone else, or by completely falling apart. Sometimes, as they attempt to process and deal with deaths, adults forget that the kids have even less (or maybe different) coping skills. Newman examines these varied reactions and the dynamics within a family after a death and shows various ways the family begins the healing process. Beautiful illustrations capture the love, frustration, and grief of the child and parents in a simultaneously heart-rending & uplifting manner.
Two pages of notes and suggestions from a psychologist offer further thoughts and ideas of ways that kids and parents can address their own grief and heal. This book is an excellent book for discussing and dealing with loss. 

[Jeanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heart-breaking and heart-wrenching, a fact of life of resource for children that have lost a sibling. Sarah is grieving for her big brother that she looked up to. She remembers Ethan in the way he was and how he made her feel. Her mother and father in their grief are unable to engage with Sarah. This leads Sarah in despair. Once the parents realize the opportunity they have for healing, they are able to grieve in a healthy way that ultimately brings the family closer.

When a child a dies, families need healthy ways to cope and grieve. This book is a resource to help the family along during a difficult time.

A Special Thank You to Magination Press and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.

[Robyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Remembering Ethan tells the story of Sarah, a little girl, figuring out how to process and mourn the loss of her older brother. A large focus of the picture book is the different ways the family members grieve (including the cat) and how Sarah does not understand why her parents aren't trying to remember her brother Ethan the same way she is. This is a brief yest heartbreaking book, but it ends warmly with the family coming together, understanding each other and sharing stories about Ethan. (In the back of the book there is content on how to help children who are experiencing loss like this.)

[OjoAusana · Rating 5 out of 5]

*received from netgalley for free for honest review* This book addresses a very important thing about life, death, and importantly for children grief and how to deal with it (and how not to). This book is told from the childs point of view so small children can easily understand the language used. The parent info at the end is also amazing and very insightful.

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a much-needed book! I loved it and cannot wait to add it to my home and school libraries. This story is told from the perspective of a younger sister of a boy who has recently died. She just wants to talk about him and how much she misses him, but her parents just cannot seem to do it. I have yet to read a book that deals with a sibling death in such a way. It is so necessary.

[Natassia_trav · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is surely not easy to lose a family member. This could be really hard to accept for parents, but especially for siblings. I really hope this is not a book you would need to use, but if this is a situation you are struggling with, this could be a great book for you and your child.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

For JE 155.937

[Leila Rae Bush · Rating 5 out of 5]

My granddaughter picks this book out almost daily. It has become one of her favorites.

Thanks to the publisher for an early copy.

[Amie's Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

In REMEMBERING ETHAN, a young girl named Sarah misses her deceased big brother and wants to talk about him to the people she loves.

Sarah doesn't understand why her parents don't talk about Ethan, and in fact, won't even mention his name. She believes that because they won't talk about him, that they do not miss him as much as Sarah and her cat  Buttons miss Ethan.

When I was a child I do not remember reading any books with grief as a theme. In fact, I do not remember my parents ever talking about death and grief. This denial of unpleasant truths did absolutely nothing to prepare me for dealing with death.

I vividly remember being taken to a darkened funeral home by my Great Aunt and being forced to view the body of one of her friends. I ran from the room and was spanked for being disrespectful. Thankfully, things have changed dramatically since then.

Books, such as REMEMBERING ETHAN are extremely necessary. They let kids know that their feelings are valid and that they are not the only kids to have ever experienced grief. The fact that this book is published by MAGINATION PRESS which is part of the APA (American Psychological Association) gives purchasers the assurance that this book has been vetted by professionals.

REMEMBERING ETHAN should be in every children's library. Preparing children for dealing with their emotions when bad things happen can only be beneficial to that child.

REMEMBERING ETHAN is a touching and tender story with beautiful illustrations. I rate both the story and the illustrations as 5 OUT OF 5 STARS ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐.

*** Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a free copy of this book. ***

To read the full review and to see some of the beautiful illustrations from this book, go to:

https://bit.ly/GriefEthan

Also, be sure to follow me on Instagram at

http://www.instagram.com/Amiesbookrev...

[Krista · Rating 5 out of 5]

Death is such a hard subject to discuss with a child. This book was very touching. In this book, a little girl was mourning the death of her older brother. I loved everything about it!

[Panda Incognito · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started crying while I was two pages into this picture book, and I kept crying all the way through the end. This is an incredibly touching, authentic portrayal of a girl's desire to remember her older brother after his death. Her parents' grief patterns confuse and emotionally isolate her, but in the end, the family is able to discuss their memories together.

Even though no one wants to need this book, it is an excellent resource for families who have lost a child. I am very impressed with how well-designed this story is, because the author brings her characters to life with specific details while also keeping the story universal to the grieving experience. She never identifies how the brother died, but focuses on the pain that the family is experiencing and how they ultimately begin processing their grief in a healthy way.

One excellent aspect of this book is that it remains firmly grounded in the real world. Other books that I have read about children grieving a sibling have involved vaguely spiritualistic and imaginative ideas, and even though some children may process their grief that way, those books can also create confusion about the reality of death. This book is very straightforward, and instead of the family finding hope from an event that they attach a mythical interpretation to, they move forward by sharing their memories of their lost loved one.

This story is well-written and gracefully portrayed, the art is tender and comforting, and the author's note in the back provides even more information and resources for parents. I am very impressed with every element of this book, and think it will be a great help to both children and parents. I would not recommend that a parent read this to a young child who has not lost a sibling, since it would introduce fears and anxieties that they are not prepared to deal with, but this is a good resource for families who need it, and for older children who are learning about grief. This is a safe introduction to very important issues, and can help children grow in sensitivity to people around them who have lost family members.

I received an advance copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Kali Cannizzaro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Remembering Ethan
By Leslea Newman
Magination Press/ American Psychological Association

I thought I would change up my reading a bit, and was excited that NetGalley and the APA granted me a copy of this book for review. In addition to being an avid reader, I am a school psychologist. As such, I am always looking for resources to help support my kiddos and their families.

As the title suggests, this book is about the loss of a child named Ethan. It is possible that the child was a teen or young adult, and the reason for his death is not explained.

The narrator is Sarah, Ethan’s younger sibling. The story highlights her sadness over the loss of her brother as well as confusion about her parents’ behavior and reactions. The narrator feels alone in her grief. An event occurs which leads to the parents acknowledging the need to talk about Ethan with their surviving child, removing the taboo of mentioning his name.

Remembering Ethan is written for an elementary age child and, depending on maturity level, it might even be appropriate to be read to a kindergartener.

I think this is a wonderful book. The pictures are sweet and support the narrative. I wish it delved a bit more into a child’s complex emotional experience so that it could appeal to a broader audience. This book might not be a good fit for a young child that is expressing their loss in a different way than the one depicted in Remembering Ethan.

This book should be previewed by an adult and shared with a child only if the adult is prepared to discuss the book, as well as the reader’s emotional reaction to it (or to real life circumstances). This would be a great addition to any school psychologist, child psychologist, or counselor’s resource shelf.

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#NetGalley
#RememberingEthan
#AmericanPsychologicalAssociation
#MaginationPress
#childhoodgrief
#childhoodmourning
#schoolpsych
#mentalhealth
#childmentalhealthresource
#childpsych
#griefandmourningbooks

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sarah’s big brother Ethan died. She thinks about him and misses him all of the time. Her Mommy and Daddy won’t talk about him, so she thinks they do not miss him. Buttons, her cat, is the only one that seems to understand how sad she is.

One day she is so lonely and frustrated, she goes into Ethan’s room and sits down at his desk. She writes his name all over a paper and then draws a picture of Ethan giving Buttons and her a double piggy-back ride. But when she puts the picture on the fridge, her mommy and daddy get really upset.

Later, Mommy and Daddy are sitting on the couch and have placed the picture she drew on the wall over the fireplace. Daddy explained that they were very sad, but her picture helps them remember Ethan. Then they looked at pictures of their whole family, especially Ethan and remember how much they love him.

This touching picture book is heartbreakingly beautiful. The feelings that Sarah has as well as her parents are gently there for the reader to think about, especially if they have lost a loved one. Telling the story from Sarah’s point of view gives a voice to the feelings children may have after losing a sibling or other special person.

After the story is a section for parents or caregivers about dealing with and processing the grief of a child after the loss of a sibling. I sincerely hope you don’t have to deal with this reality in your life, but if you do, this book will help.

I highly recommend this book for all children and parents. Unfortunately, death touches all people and coping can be especially difficult. Be it the loss of a pet, a grandparent, neighbor or someone else your child is connected to, Remembering Ethan will help you help them and you cope with the loss.

DISCLOSURE OF MATERIAL CONNECTION: I have a material connection because I received a review copy for free from Netgalley in exchange for a fair and honest review. Copyright © 2020 Laura Hartman

[Cindy Mitchell *Kiss the Book* · Rating 3 out of 5]

Remembering Ethan by Leslea Newman, illustrated by Tracy Nichimura Bishop. PICTURE BOOK. Magination, 2020. $17. ISBN 9781433831133

BUYING ADVISORY: EL (K-3) EL – OPTIONAL

AUDIENCE APPEAL: AVERAGE

Sarah’s big brother Ethan was tall, strong, and handsome. That was before he died. Now young Sarah feels she is the only one who remembers him. Every time she makes a connection to him, by saying one of his jokes, or speaking his name, or drawing a picture of him, her parents turn and run away as if they are angry. After finding comfort with her cat for a time, Sarah then finds her parents ready to talk. They were never mad at her, just too hurt to talk about Ethan yet. But now they are. They show appreciation for her drawings and share photos and memories of Ethan with her.

Published by the American Psychological Association, this book shares one family’s struggles with dealing with the loss of a son and brother in a very tender and realistic way. At the end, readers will also find two pages of additional material which includes guidance for helping a child deal with the death of a loved one. Add this one to your collection if you need books dealing with death. It could help both a grieving student and the teacher supporting that student.

P.K. Foster, MLS, elementary school teacher-librarian
https://kissthebookjr.blogspot.com/20...

[Het boekenrijk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Remembering Ethan by Leslea Newman and illustrated by Tracy Nishimura Bishop is a beautiful but heartbreaking picture book about losing a sibling. Sarah has lost her big brother Ethan and wants to remember him talking about him. But her parents struggle and have a hard time talking about him. Sarah feels as if she (and Button the cat) are the only ones missing Ethan. This makes her very sad. But Sarah rallies her parents to keep remembering Ethan.
I really loved this book even if it is heartbreaking. The used language is easy to grasp and the breathtaking pictures made with pencil and watercolour, really enhance the story.
A book that would be ideal to use with children going through periods of grief and loss. It will show them that the feelings they're going through are perfectly normal and might help them through this difficult time.
At the end of the book tips are added for parents and carers to cope with the emotions of children going through periods of grief.
A book to read to children from age 5. To be published April 7th.
Thank you to the American Psychological Association and NetGalley for giving me access to the e-ARC of this book.

[joyce w. laudon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a title published under the auspices of the American Psychological Association.  These books address significant childhood issues through a story.  There are always suggestion at the end of the book for the adults who are important to a child.

This title is about Sarah whose brother Ethan has died.  The cause of his death is not given and is not the focus of the story.  Rather the book is about how Sarah reacts, how her parents cope and how they begin to talk together.

Remembering Ethan is told in a way that is sensitive to the needs of young children.  It can serve as a very helpful conversation starter on a sad yet important topic.  Children will learn that it is important to allow for sad feelings and to talk about the person who has died.  Children will also see that parents are also having their own reactions.  The ways in which the family comes together will be reassuring to young listeners.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this title in exchange for an honest review.

[Theediscerning · Rating 5 out of 5]

While the self-help, factual information at the back of this book is to help children grieve their siblings and other family members, the actual focus of the story here is the fact that our heroine just cannot see what her parents are doing. They're shutting themselves away, clamming up, refusing to acknowledge the family jokes and events and habits together, meaning Ethan's sister thinks she's the only one carrying Ethan's memory as it should be. Well, her and the cat anyway. So while the story, wonderfully illustrated and very well fashioned all told seems to show the parents at fault, there's a bit of a jarring sensation as you read the closing two pages, full of advice on helping children through the mourning process. I guess that does go to show it remains and must remain a whole-family thing. Whichever half of this book you find most useful I am damned sure it will certainly be that – useful.

[Abbey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oof. Where do I begin?

Let me first wipe away my tears...

Second, I have to say, as someone who has worked with young children in the past and who now has two of her own, author Leslea Newman beautifully and perfectly showed what losing a sibling feels like for a younger child. I would feel completely comfortable & confident passing this book along to a student's parent should a situation like this happen.

Tracy Nishimura Bishop's illustrations are sweet without being saccharine and really further tell the author's story without "taking over" or being "too much." Bishop's drawings give a sense of comfort, a hint of softness...which the characters, and the readers, need with such a difficult topic.

This is a book that I will keep in my physical library and repertoire, as I feel it would be a wonderful source in what will be a sad, hard time for a child.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Magination Press, an imprint of the American Psychological Association.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gently opens the conversation on children's grief over the loss of a sibling. A note for readers at the end from a school psychologist offers explanations and insights into the grieving process in children, and how children's responses may differ from adults'. One needs all the help you can get when processing an unimaginable loss like that. A final note is that this book tells the story of losing an older brother, and might not be as relevant to those whose loss was a younger sibling, stillbirth, or miscarriage.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sarah misses her big brother Ethan. Anytime she mentions him, her parents get upset and will not talk about Ethan. Sarah feels like she, and her cat, are the only ones who miss Ethan.

Remembering Ethan is a story about a child grieving the loss of a sibling. The story highlights how family members are grieving differently, but it is important to include the siblings left behind in the process.

The story is well-written and the illustrations are beautiful!

As an educator, I would recommend this book for families with young children who have experienced a family loss.

Thank you to the American Psychological Association/Magination Press and NetGalley for the electronic copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Cozy · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I was gifted a arc from Netgally. All thoughts are my own*

This is a very heartfelt story of a little girl who just wants to remember her brother who has passed on. It is told from Sarah's perspective, from Sarah's point of view she seems to be the only one who wants to remember her older brother.

On the other end you have two grieving parents who are just trying to cope with the loss of their son.

The author included some important information at the back of the book as well. Different contacts and suggestions for talking to children about loss.

I definitely recommend this book 5*****

[Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

If families talking about their deceased children, it's done it's job. Too often a child dies and the families just shut down. I've always felt so badly for siblings left behind to deal with their parents grief. Young Sarah, in the case of this story, gets her parents talking after she thinks they are angry with her. Her anger finally gets them talking about her deceased brother, as they should have been all along. Good story for grieving families.

I received a Kindle arc from Netgalley in exchange for a fair review.

[Vinamrata · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for an ARC of this book. I was blown away with how well the author addresses the grief faced by a child due to the loss of her sibling. She wants to talk about him to process the grief, but she finds that the adults are all reluctant to do the same and they would rather keep quiet and live in their own worlds. How a person reacts to the passing away of a loved one can never be predicted, but it is especially tough on little ones. This book may help the family by bringing them together and remembering their precious moments with their loved one.