Perfectly Thin

by Margaret McHeyzer

New York Times Bestseller author of Ugly and MistrustWhen I’m thinner, no one will make fun of meWhen I’m thinner, I’ll be acceptedWhen I’m thinner, I’ll be beautifulWhen I’m thinner, I’ll be happyWhen I’m thinner, I’ll be loved, and adoredWhen I’m thinner, I’ll like myselfI can’t wait until I’m perfectly thin.*Triggers

Genres: Mental Health, Young Adult, Emotional, Fiction

347 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 16, 2020

About the author

NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLING AUTHOR OF UGLY AND MISTRUST

I’m a two-time New York Times bestselling author for my stand-alone books Ugly and Mistrust. To date I’ve published over 30 books!
I’m first generation Australian born and live in Sydney with my husband, two daughters and my rescue-dog, Kingston!
I love to write stories to connect my readers to my strong, courageous characters…with some spice sprinkled between the pages.
The characters I write about can pop into my mind anytime and anywhere. From the shower, to washing dishes, playing with my puppy or even in my dreams. My characters can sometimes be intrusive, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thank you for taking this journey with me and I truly hope you love reading my stories as much as I love writing them.

Reviews

[Shabby -BookBistroBlog · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book in a day. That should tell you how engrossed and how hooked I was. It comes at a very crucial, albeit ironical time in my life. I've been trying to lose weight and this story just rang all my bells, raised all my flags.
I'm thankful or livid at Margaret for writing this story....the jury is still out!
As I opened the pages and progressed in the chapters, one thing stood out. Every. Paragraph had the words - "I need to get skinny.
I need to be perfect.
I just have to lose a little more.
Another five pounds, and I’ll look like everyone else.
Like all the other girls.
I need to be thin.
I hate how I look.
I hate how fat I am.
I’m so fat I’m disgusting.
No one will ever love me being this fat.
No one will ever care for me if I’m fat.
I have to be skinny."



After about 5 chapters, I was annoyed, frustrated and my anger was boiling. It was like a drop of water plopping on my soul, consistently, persistently, on the second, every second.
I'm thankful or livid at Margaret for writing this story....the jury is still deciding!
I closed the book at halfway point..I'd had enough!
Then stood back and thought, if I'm THAT pissed or annoyed just READING it...imagine the REAL person EXPERIENCING this!!
I was flabbergasted, ashamed at myself for being so callous and unsympathetic '!
So I started the book again...from the beginning, with new set of eyes!
I'm telling ya..I cried everytime the voices in Jane Riley's head mocked her. I wanted to strangle those voices cause they were poisoning this beautiful 17 year old girl. Nipping her blossom, retarding her growth. With every mock, every taunt, she folded on herself, made herself smaller physically and emotionally.



Her teachers, her instructor, her classmates, her so called crush..they ALL have a hand in victimising her!
WTF people!! raise your children right and make sure they aren't Assholes and bullies.
I'm so angry at these rude, crude, obnoxious, toxic people whose only source of entertainment is turning on the defenseless, weak girl. I say weak psychologically, cause these words etch on her soul and become her truth. So begins her downward spiral into the world of anorexia
“What’s living in your head is a controlling one-dimensional asshole. An eating disorder actually doesn’t give a rat’s ass what you weigh, just what you think about yourself.”
She. Nearly. DIES!!



Let that sink in...a life could be snuffed out, a beautiful, promising life could be cut short by the reckless verbal assault of some douchecanoe people.
I'm thankful or livid at Margaret for writing this story....the jury is back with the verdict
The whole story just filled my body and mind with resonating clamor - Words Matter!! Think before you speak!!



Margaret is forever known for writing fictional stories based on factual trauma. Jane could be me..or you..or your family member..or your friend.
This story belongs to ME, to YOU, to US.
All her prose is with a purpose..to shove us in front of the mirrors and take a hard look at ourselves. Are whatever we saying hurting somebody or bolstering someone.
Are we knocking somebody down or holding someone up.
I'm thankful or livid at Margaret for writing this story....the jury unanimously agrees
The story is IMPORTANT
The story is POWERFUL
The story is EMPOWERING
Every person, parent, human should / Must read this story. It's life changing, life altering, a mind opening dialogue that will better you as a citizen of this world.
I LOVE F*@king you Margaret
6 stars for Butterfly Wing
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[Abigail E. · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am startled that most people gave this book 5 stars.

The writing was iffy. For one thing, it needed edited -- lots of comma splices and incorrect punctuation.

The random words in Greek seemed silly, especially after a while.

I have an eating disorder and have been in a hospitalization program, as well as outpatient treatment. The way her eating disorder was portrayed was very odd to me. Body dysmorphia is definitely part of an eating disorder, but for myself and the people I was in treatment with, we knew and understood what our weight was. We were unhappy, and wanted to weigh less, and saw ourselves distorted--- but - when underweight - we didn't run around thinking the scales were broken, everyone was lying to us, people hated us because we were fat, and our clothes were too big because they were stretching in the washer. I thought that was really weird..... like, did she have another mental health condition, too, that made her sooooo detached from reality?

I also thought that the romance with Leo was creepy. First of all, the age difference of 18 to 25 is quite a bit when you are that young. She was still in high school, and he was out of college and working full time. More than that, though, it would be totally unprofessional for a member of treatment staff to come visit someone (a surprise visit, no less) after the person left treatment. I just imagine the nurse at my hospitalization program randomly showing up at my house. Weird! And then the part where she's still recovering/in treatment, and Leo says, "I'm going to marry you one day." I was waiting for him to get reprimanded or something, but instead, they got married. The whole thing just creeped me out.

[Paula Phillips · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are looking for an edgy read then Perfectly Thin is the read for you. This book hits the spot with body dysmorphia and how they aim to lose weight can spiral from looking good to become the most dangerous thing in the world. Our main character Jane was always the DUFF of her friendship - the Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Until she decided that she was going to lose weight as if she was thin then people would love her, they would not call her fat or make fun of her. It started with her eating tiny amounts and losing a bit of weight and people commenting how good she looked and then she started a mixture of counting calories and exercising to burn off those calories. Every time she lost weight, people would comment on how great she was and it gave her that boost of happiness until it got to the point of no return. You could tell she had hit her breaking point when she started fainting and then believing that people were missing with the scales as she believed herself to be 100 pounds heavier than what she was. We read as Jane ends up in treatment and discover her nearly on her death-bed. This book makes you think as to how dangerous dieting and how easy it is to cross the line of eating disorders as for myself I started chucking out half my lunch etc from the age of 11-12 and then right up to college I stopped taking lunch and then started watching how much I would eat and it got to the fact at 18 to my mid 20's where I was sitting at 45kg and now at 33, I am at my heaviest at 60kg - I don't starve myself but I still find myself occasionally watching how much I eat and limiting myself as I have this niggly feeling in the back of my mind that I don't want to get bigger than what I am now as there are plenty of days when I look at myself and feel so fat and it crosses my mind that I really should stop eating and lose weight or check out diet pills or drink lots of liquid to stop the need for food. I never did let myself get to the level that this character was but I have seen others reach this level.

[Gabrielle · Rating 1 out of 5]

This wins the title of Worst Book I Have Ever Read.
It took me around four days to finish this, because I kept putting it down as it's the most ridiculous thing I've subjected my poor eyes to.

17 year old Jane goes from 182lbs to 91lbs in three months, has a heart attack, is convinced everyone is conspiring against her to the point she accuses her parents of putting crumbs in her water, but she goes on to have the quickest and most bizarre recovery from a mental disorder that I've ever heard of, and then she marries her nurse.

Also, there's a lot of it inexplicably in Greek.

Was this written by a 14 year old for a competition?

[Ellen-Arwen Tristram · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unrealistic and triggering

This ED novel has a lot of details, including calories burnt and consumed, weight, weight, WEIGHT, and even some tips and tricks. Not a healthy book to read.

But more than that, Jane, the MC, just wasn’t believable. It’s hard to empathise with someone whose character is so OTT and inconsiderate.

I realise the author says that they had an ED for three months, so this is technically an own voices novel. Thing is, you don’t generally get an eating disorder for that short a period of time, and it’s very different to a chronic and serious illness like the author chose to write about. Honestly, it seemed like she’d taken inspiration from films and other books - and got way in over her head.

[Sandra Shipman ~ Two Book Pushers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfectly Thin is Margaret McHeyzer’s newest must-read. I love that she writes stories that are about hard subjects. Real. Raw. Ones that make you think. Make you change your way of thinking even. I have two girls. Eleven and thirteen years old. This is the kind of story I needed. It’s a subject that I worry about with my girls.

Jane is a senior in high school. She isn’t popular. She has two best friends. Would rather hang out with them, read a book, or be with family rather than go to a party. She is smart, beautiful, and loved. She has always been different. Bigger than her sisters and classmates. She recently lost some weight in a healthy way. She is proud herself until she goes on a date. With an asshole. She was planning on losing more weight. A few pounds at most. Then she would be someone. Someone who others wanted to be. Someone to be loved. Someone to someone instead of something. She saw herself as fat. That was it. That everyone watched her. Everyone saw her as an elephant. So, those few pounds? Turn into more. More exercise. Less food. Then she would be someone. But, what happens when it goes too far? Will her body survive? Will the voices take control or will she?

Wow!! This. All of this. Margaret is the queen of the hard subjects. This one is one that I so worry about raising two girls. I have always taught them to not give a fuck what others think but as they turn into teens, it’s even harder. Kids are assholes. Adults are too. My girls are eleven and thirteen. The hard years. I try so hard to be careful with this subject. One loves sugar. One has OCD among other things. It’s a balance. To be healthy. To have a healthy relationship with food. I have had my ups and downs and still do. This book will stay with me and help with hard conversations. Thank you, Margaret for writing the hard subjects. I know it’s not always easy but worth it.

Quotes:

“You’re going to die, Jane,” she says again, this time in a slower, drawn-out breath.
“I just need to lose some more weight so I can look like everyone else,” I say to her.

I’m not letting you win, you, asshole. I control you, you don’t control me. To hell with you, food. I’ll eat when I want, not when you want to provoke me. I hate you. You controlling, manipulative, evil, asshole.

“I want to be a witness to your amazing life as it unfolds.”

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not sure how its rated 4 stars. Did not age well and began to feel like a fan fiction of EDs. Also 18 and 25? Little uncomfortable.

[Life on Readpeat · Rating 5 out of 5]

* Read more of my reviews at Whoo Gives A Hoot *

Perfectly Thin by Margaret McHeyzer is not an easy story to read and it will test you in ways that you never thought possible, but it is a story that needed to be told and the author did a brilliant job doing so. This story captivated every inch of my soul and twisted it so beyond repair that I don't think it will ever be the same again. It was an emotionally gut-wrenching journey that brought tears to my eyes and engulfed my heart so tightly that I found myself struggling to breathe. There were even moments that I considered putting this book down and never picking it up again because it felt as if it was physically hurting me to continue. And yet I couldn't not finish it because this story consumed me and the pain that I endured while inhaling all the words was worth it.

Jane's story takes readers on an emotional journey that sadly holds control over many lives. Her story starts off so simple, just a young woman determined to drop a few pounds to gain some confidence in herself. Sadly her weight loss becomes an obsession and suddenly the dark voices take over and she no longer sees things for what they are. Eating disorders impact many lives and it's heartbreaking to watch someone you love suffering through this difficult experience. They have no control and only those strong enough to get help survive, which is so gut-wrenching to think about that it brings tears to my eyes.

Margaret McHeyzer managed to take what was happening to her main character, Jane, and give those suffering a sense of hope that they can fight those dark voices and begin to heal. Like I mentioned, this story is NOT an easy read and it will push you to your limits, but it is a story that shows us just how strong those suffering from eating disorders can truly be. This story caused me to feel ways that I have never felt before and it has forever changed me.

[abi lorelai · Rating 1 out of 5]

going thru my shelves on here, why tf did i give this five stars? the misrepresentation on anorexia in this book is fucking appauling. why make a book about a girl struggling with an eating disorder knowing for well your audience is going to be people who have struggled with it and put calorie counting, over exersise and WEIGHT?! specific numbers is not nessasary at all. all this woman had to do was be in recovery for five months then she was magically better? its insanely not that simple; ive been in recovery for three years now and my eating disorder is still a day-to-day struggle. and the fact she fell in love with her doctor? for what fucking reason? this book felt like you searched up 'anorexia symptoms' then made this pile of shit. recovery is not a straight road and its completely different depending on the person and what enrages me is how 'easy' this book is making recovery to be. its not 'yeah i want to get better *smiley face* im fixed!', its an uphill battle at the beginning especially if you dont want to get better, which, like me, made this book now looking at it so so jarring. where were the random outbursts and mental breakdowns? where was the representation for severe anxiety and depression? not in this damn book i'll tell you.

[Philomena Callan Cheekypee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This author sure knows how to write a story that is relatable to her readers. As the story is so raw and emotional I can’t say I enjoyed the story. It’s more of an emotional story that I felt rather than read.

Jane is a beautiful, likeable young girl. My heart broke so many times throughout this book.

I’ve got to say I can usually read a book in one sitting but I couldn’t with this one. I had to put it down. Had to breath. Time to think as this isn’t a far fetched storyline. Too many people go through what Jane went through and her story resonated with me on so many levels.

I’m so glad Jane had such a great supportive team around her. This isn’t an easy read but it’s a story that needs to be told. Well done to the author on writing such an amazing story 💕

[Isabelle MBTL · Rating 5 out of 5]

Young Adult/New Adult, Contemporary Romance

  Contains issues and situations some may find triggering.

IMPERATIVE! MEANINGFUL! VITAL!

WOW! Ms. McHeyzer always blows my mind and I'm left speechless. So, yeah, I don't really know what to write for this review.

All I can say is that the story was raw, powerful and empowering!!!

Also, I think this was mostly a journey of self-love than a romance. Yes, there is a romance subplot here, but it doesn't feel like the most important part of the book.

This was a very hard read. I was unable to read it in one sitting. I felt mad, sad, happy, everything all the time. I hated on the author a few times :) and I deeply connected with the plot.

I own a clinic in which I mainly deal with kids and teenagers with ADHD and Autism. So, as a social side effect of it all, I get and see a lot of teens with eating disorder, teens that don't love themselves, teens that worried too much of what others think of them. So, this book was tough to read, because it felt too real and it hit me real close to home.

SELF LOVE!!!

34/35 STARS –  5 STARS (between 33.5 stars and 35 stars)

Addictiveness: 5 Character: 5 Cover: 5 Freshness: 5 Plot: 5 Romance: 4 Writing Style: 5

Action 0/5 Angst 5/5 Darkness 5/5 Humor 0/5 Romance 3/5 Suspense/Mystery 2/5

Would I recommend? Yes!

Would I re-read this book/series? Yes!

Would I read more from the author? Definitely!!!

Addictiveness: 5/5 Even though it was a very hard read, and I was unable to read in one sitting. I took some breathing times a couple times, it felt imperative to finish the book. I felt like I needed to live through it all. As addictive as chocolate!!!

Character:

Jane was a powerful heroine. Sometimes she seemed so weak, that it made her stronger. She was so raw, that it felt very organic and believable. She was not an easy character to love and I felt a million times the need to shake her. But in my hate for her choices, that I fell in love with her. In my belief that she was wrong that I felt myself connecting with her. Jane was human and it felt like it.

She was a lovable and relatable character!

Cover: art 5/5, title 5/5, color-font 5/5, subtitle 2/5, background 5/5 buy 5/5  I’m obsessed with book covers. I love to find snippets of the stories within the art. I always try to be true to myself, I buy so many books because of the cover and I have skipped many because of not very appealing art. Covers are part of the experience for me and I do like to understand them. This one was perfection!!! This art with the title already gives eating disorder vibes, with the addition of the subtitle this cover takes the reader into a journey on its own. I would definitely buy this book by its cover without needing to read the blurb!

Freshness: 5/5 ONE-OF-A-KIND! As fresh as water during summer in the middle of the desert!!!

Plot: believable 5/5, conflict 5/5, dialogue 5/5, ending 5/5, enjoyment 5/5, opening 5/5, pace 5/5, setting 5/5, subplots 4/5, twists 3/5  Highest level of enjoyment!

This plot was a journey into self love and self caring. It was also an exploration of understanding yourself and accepting that each one is different and that is perfectly fine.

Writing Style: 5/5 It is perfect! Work of a wordsmith!!!

Because I try to be very analytical and I don't really believe in perfection...

Romance: The love story was good, but I don't think it was that important. I mean, Leo was great on helping Jane love herself, but his love for her was not the main romance here. Jane learning to love herself outshone everything else.

You MAY read this because you follow the author; you SHOULD read this because it is important; you MUST read this because it is EMPOWERING!!!

[Zillah · Rating 2 out of 5]

What an interesting take on eating disorders. The romance was weird I didn’t like that at all, 18-25 and patient dr? Very odd kinda gross. Definitely started reading this for the wrong reasons and didn’t expect it to turn into such a pro recovery book but slay?

[literaryleftie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once I picked this book up I could NOT put it down. It was beautifully written and honestly, the story touched close to home. I was completely engrossed in this book and putting it down to eat dinner and do other things with family was near impossible.

[Abbigayle Palm · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay.

The general story line of the book was okay. Character development was okay. I feel like many aspects of eating disorder development and recovery were missing or not touched on enough. I also feel like there was a lot of redundancy. In summary, it’s not a great book. But it’s good enough to read if you’re bored and there’s nothing else around.

[Navss (read.yourbooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

“𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔. 𝑭𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆, 𝒂𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒐𝒏 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍. 𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏.”

@MargaretMcHeyzer always releases the arrows straight into my heart and this is no exception.

We all intentionally or unintentionally somehow let our insecurities eat us from inside. This is what happened with Jane too.
Being always teased to fat, she then started believing it and that turned out to be her downfall.

This book is really really reallyyyy amazing and one of the best releases of 2020. Writing on an issue so delicate requires a lot of research. I cannot express how important it is for you to read this book because sometimes we just make a small comment, positive or negative which is a huge thing for the other person. There are bullies everywhere around us; they can be our teachers, our classmates, our own family members or anyone else who doesn't hold any importance but by making that one comment, they suddenly do.

Jane's journey is commendable from the start to the end. Her strength, resolve, mental ability, everything has bought her down but can lift her up.

This is story is raw, rough and true.

⭐Infinity stars because this book deserves more⭐

You're always a someone, never a something. Never forget this.

[Eevee · Rating 1 out of 5]

I normally don’t write reviews, but this book warrants it.

To preface this, this book is about a girl who develops an eating disorder. I have had an eating disorder for close to a decade. I have known people who have eating disorders.

The main character of this book has such bad body dysmorphia. She can’t see that she’s losing weight. She constantly thinks the scales are broken. Jane is so dramatic and whiny that I don’t even know if I can finish this book.

She throws the scales at her father, screaming that they tampered with them and force feed her in her sleep. That’s just…. no honey. You would choke and aspirate if that were the case.

The author depicts those of us with eating disorders in a very bad light and I do not recommend this book to anyone. I liked it in the beginning, but the constant whining and self pity have turned me off from this book.

If you’re wanting a book about a girl with an ED, do yourself a favor and read Wintergirls or Letting Ana Go. The only place this book belongs is in the trash.

[Ayala Neeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect book ♥️i dont have enough wards to say how much yhis boook toche in my deep heart
Evry waman must read this book

[Liralen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mm. Reminds me of books that start at Angst Level 10 and never really deviate, though in this case I think it's more Negativity Level 10. Jane's inner monologue is constant: I'm so fat I'm so ugly nobody will ever like me when I'm this big I'm fat it's horrible I'm fat no wonder I'm fat if I'm eating more than three pieces of lettuce a day I'm fat. And it's true that eating disorders can hijack one's thoughts and make it hard to focus on anything else—but even before Jane's crash diet turns into anorexia, it's hard to tell if she has a personality. What are her hobbies, other than thinking that she's fat? What classes does she like? What classes does she hate? Does she like to read, write, draw, hike, take underwater basket-weaving classes in her spare time? Does she have goals? We don't know. And that's a problem, because it means that Jane's life is never about anything other than her body image and then her eating disorder. (Jane's body dysmorphia is extreme—far more extreme than I've ever seen in real life. That doesn't mean it's not possible, but in her case it leads to constant hysterics about how the scales must be broken because there's no way she doesn't weigh at least X pounds more, and the washer must have stretched out all her clothing, etc., etc... She can't believe she could possibly have anorexia because she's so 'fat'—and no, nowhere does the book note that fat can and should be a neutral word—which makes her eventual switch to 'really? this is true? then I DO want to get better!' even more whiplash-inducing.)

The other problem with starting at Negativity Level 10 is that there's really nowhere to go from there. Any sort of climax has to be doubly dramatic, because we're starting in a dramatic place to begin with—so bring on the sexual assault, the fainting, the heart attacks.

Jane lands in an eating disorder treatment unit (improbably called the Butterfly Wing) where patients are basically allowed to eat or not eat whatever they want—remember that Jane has arrived seriously underweight and just having had a heart attack, and throughout her stay the only rule is that if she puts something on her plate, she has to have at least a bite of it. (Options are always things like 'fruit, and cut up vegetables, and some sandwiches cut into quarters' (261).) And...that's it. It's treated as a miracle when Jane starts eating single slices of cucumber. As far as I can tell, she's released when she starts eating like this: Sitting on my bed, I have my journal open in front of me. The page is full, recording how proud I am of myself for having two pieces of cucumber yesterday at lunch. I also ate one piece of tomato, and one piece of cucumber at dinner (263). And I get it: when you're deep deep deep in an eating disorder, that can feel like a tremendous amount of food. But at no point in the hospital is Jane described as eating enough to maintain her critically low weight, let alone gain weight or health.

Not a hospital that sees much of a success rate, I'd think.

And then we get to the point where one of the nurses hits on her, 'checks up on her' at home without any warning, and declares that they'll be a couple when Jane is ready. This is treated as cute and romantic, but guys. He's 25, and she's 18 and vulnerable, and in their entire getting-to-know-you he's been in a position of relative power, and it's very, very inappropriate and creepy. No points for romance.

[Tammy - · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you struggle with body image, if you have ever been fat-shamed, or if you have ever been the person doing the fat-shaming, I encourage you to read Perfectly Thin by Margaret McHeyzer.

In Perfectly Thin, Jane is the victim of fat-shaming and her deteriorating self image causes her to develop a life-threatening eating disorder. While finally hospitalized for her illness, she meets Leo, a nurse who is unlike anyone that she's met. He makes her want to get better and they begin to form a relationship during her journey of getting well. This isn't a typical romance, it's a story of self-discovery and finding love while learning to love yourself.

This book is one of the most realistic stories that I've read involving an eating disorder and body image, and I know from personal experience. I wish that I would have this book to read back when I was a teen. I wish that the kids that bullied me could have read this book back then. Maybe they would have realized how much their words can hurt. If you know anyone who struggles with body image, I encourage you to read this story to better understand and encourage them to read it too.

Bravo on a story well done.

[J. Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gutwrenching story of healing and acceptance

“I am a someone, not a something”

This book was a lot. It was an incredibly hard read, I found myself tearing up... experiencing Jane’s disordered thoughts and pain was excruciating. But ultimately, it was so important. Watching her spiral into the clutches of anorexia with a kind of morbid fascination, like watching a car crash in slow motion. Her suffering was so visceral and present, my heart was breaking right along with her. Then having the pleasure of seeing her growth, her messy healing process and empowerment as she took back control from that inner asshole voice. My god, by the end I was smiling through the tears.
Thankyou for writing this story, for sharing your honesty and hope with us all. It was so intimate, so intensely personal yet with a universality that many will resonate with. One of the best MH novels I’ve read for a long time. Expertly tackled and handled with care, couldn’t ask for anything better.

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's hard to rate something like this, the subject matter is so deep, how do you say you hate a book that gives you feels? I didn't hate it, I wanted to see it expand just a little bit more in places. My problem with this one was the writing, it was like 90% one line sentences, one line pages of dialogue with no fillers in between the words, the world building could have been a little better between those dialogues. My biggest pet peeve in a book are pages of one sentence dialogue with no fillers, and small one sentence paragraphs, and this book had it in spades. The subject matter, as deep as it was made it impossible to rate this an awful book, because it really wasn't awful. I think it just needed a little bit more.

[Mariah Bowman · Rating 5 out of 5]

On my God!

I always feel like a wrung out sponge at the end of a Margaret McHeyzer book. The characters and storyline reach into your soul and twist until you are left exhausted and needing a whole box of tissues. Jane broke my heart. I have never been on the inside of a eating disorder but reading it showed me just how powerful it can be. I hoped Leo and Jane would be and was happy with the ending. Although I am never happy a book ends, it exceeded my expectations. A definite recommend to all!

[Jocelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brutally honest story about a girl with an eating disorder.

I really enjoyed this story about Jane and how her journey of losing weight ended up with her going to far and developing an eating disorder. I found it incredibly interesting to hear her thoughts as her situation deteriorated. I also loved how this story showed how this situation affected all of Jane's relationships with her friends and family both old and new. Leo was such sweetheart and I loved how caring and selfless he was.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal 5 ⭐️ plus

Margaret has done it again with this PHENOMENAL story!!!!!!! The feelings you will have while reading Jane’s thoughts and struggles will break your heart, you will want to reach into the book and just tell her how beautiful and absolutely perfect she is whilst giving her the most biggest cuddle you could muster. This book is a ‘once opened, not to be put down until finished’ 👏👏 well done Margaret

[DandosGirl27 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an emotional story

Couldn't put this book down. So real and so sad what Jane had went through. And to people who put down people have no clue how much they are hurting others. I wanted to cry for her how Carson treated her. I would of been devasted especially being in highschool like that.. I loved her besties they were such good friends and I loved that and of course Leo!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

What Anorexia is really like

Follow a young woman as she becomes anorexic. Will she recognize it in time? Will she get her happily ever after? Life doesn’t always work out that way...

[Delena Cruz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing and heart wrenching

I loved this book. My senior year of high school could have gone the same way as Jane's. I was lucky and mainly snapped out of it on my own, however even to this day I struggle with self hate. Its not as easy to have a positive self talk as it is to have negative. Im not particularly nice to myself. This book helped me to acknowledge that part of me. I think it is a must read for all!

[ren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would’ve been 5 stars but I absolutely hated the cheesy ending 😭 Amazing otherwise!

[Shaztwirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Valuable Lesson.

Very well written and very obviously from the perspective of a deeply personal experience. It was difficult to read how the voices and paranoia grew stronger, hiding the truth. Obviously this book won't be for everybody but as the mother of an almost teenage daughter it has certainly given me ideas on how to great good and body positivity.

[Selenemoon · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good

It was a sad hard read for me. I've struggle d with my weight for years but never went down this path. But this book can help other people who have. A excellent raw truth of a painful experience. 5 stars