What I Left Behind

by Jennifer Archer

How can she embrace the future when she can't let go of the past?

After decades of heartache, Allyson Cole has finally found happiness. The owner of a successful restaurant and newly engaged to a man she loves, she’s ready to put her regrets behind her and embrace what lies ahead. But when a boy named Nick Pearson shows up at her door claiming he’s her grandson and needing her help, Ally can no longer ignore the questions that have haunted her since she was sixteen.

Leaving her fiancé and her life behind, she embarks on a cross-country road trip with the orphaned teen to find his grandfather – Ally’s first love who disappeared without a word thirty years ago, leading her to give up their baby for adoption. But will learning the devastating reason he tore her life apart release her from the past…or draw her back?

In What I Left Behind, bestselling author Jennifer Archer offers an emotional page-turner about love and loss, family and forgiveness.

Genres: Fiction, Book Club, Family

254 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 29, 2020

About the author

Jennifer Archer is an award-winning author of eleven novels and three novellas in the young adult, romantic comedy, and women's fiction genres and has co-authored a non-fiction book. Her novels have been nominated for Romance Writers of America’s Rita Award and Romantic Times Bookclub’s Reviewer’s Choice Award. The Texas Library Association selected her debut young adult novel Through Her Eyes for their first Spirit of Texas Reading Program – Middle School and for the TAYSHAS High School reading list. Jennifer also writes and edits for clients through her business, Archer Editing & Writing Services www.archereditingandwriting.com. She lives in Texas with her husband and three dogs.

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2JTyFMP
Facebook: https://bit.ly/2JHgDyw
Twitter: https://bit.ly/2M0q0uG
Instagram: jenniferarcher01

Reviews

[Anne OK · Rating 4 out of 5]

The right book at the right time. A wonderful cast of main characters -- each who had their own part of the story to tell. Kept me wondering how this little "triangle" was going to work out. Well-written and a little sad, but with a happy ending and the one I wanted, too.

[BP34 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing story that will have you shedding some tears, so be sure to grab a hanky. At only sixteen Allyson suffered a double loss. She was forced to give up her beautiful daughter for adoption and Sonny, the love of her life mysteriously left without a word. They were both always on her mind and she was continually questioning, what if?. The story takes another turn when a young boy claiming to be her grandson shows up at her restaurant. Drama, heartbreak and secrets galore. A road trip and secrets revealed. This book is so well written and a page-turner. It's hard to say more without being a spoiler. But this is one book you need to read. The book is well-written and the characters have a lot of depth. I read an arc and voluntarily chose to review it.

[Ellie Kirk · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick easy read, heartwarming, no major twists or surprises

[Jaclyn Howell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so good, I had a hard time setting it down! The story really draws you in. The characters are all very likeable, which doesn't always happen in books. I highly recommend this book! I'd say more but I don't want to spoil the story.

[Janell Madison · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I Left Behind by Jennifer Archer

“Reading Archer’s books is like having a conversation with a friend. You can feel their emotions, and it’s like you are part of their story.” – Green Gables Book Reviews

Green Gables Book Reviews thoughts: After reading and reviewing Jennifer Archer’s book, What I Never Expected, I hoped I would have the opportunity to read more books written by her.

I enjoyed What I Left Behind so much. Jennifer Archer’s books feel real; they feel relatable and like having a conversation with a friend. You can feel their emotions, and it’s like you are part of their story. She has such talent, and I am looking forward to reading more of her books. Please look at her website, there are so many books that look great, and she also has a blog!

What I Left Behind by Jennifer Archer

Ally has so many beautiful things in her life, and from the outside looking in, her life probably seems like everything she could want. She is a chef, owns her cafe, The Slender Pea, and loves her staff like family. Ally loves her home and living in Portland. She is ready to take the next step with her doctor boyfriend, Warren, and he’s ready, too. Except their steps are different. Her step is to move in together. His is to get married; in fact, he has already proposed a few times. Warren’s proposals have made Ally do a lot of thinking. Why can’t she say yes? Why is she holding back? Warren wonders the same things, but yet, is patient. But, will he wait?

Ally spends many of her days searching, hoping, longing to find what she lost years ago. She has looked in the eyes of every red-haired girl she has seen and now in the eyes of the red-haired women she sees. Will she ever find the green eyes she has been searching for looking back at her? Ally has never been able to move on. She regrets putting her beautiful daughter up for adoption thirty years ago.

Warren wants to spend the rest of his life with Ally. He’s doing his best to get her to accept his proposal, and SHE DOES! Finally! They are making plans and beginning to celebrate when someone is at Ally’s door. It is a 16-year-old boy with the green eyes that Ally has been searching for all these years. The eyes of Sonny, her first love and the father of her baby.

Those green eyes turn cold as Nick greets Ally, saying, “Hello, Grandma.”

As Nick eats, he tells her that his mom, her beautiful daughter died three weeks ago from breast cancer. Ally is aching with grief, and Nick has a simmering chip on his shoulder.

A tough transition follows. Ally buys Nick anything he wants to make him happy, and Nick retreats to his room. He is angry, so angry with Ally for “not wanting” his mom. Nick tells Ally that his mom raised him alone, didn’t give HIM away. Why didn’t Ally do that for his mom? Ally is fighting the grief of Sarah’s death, missing her even more, and worrying about how she and Nick cannot seem to get along. She doesn’t think she is the right person for Nick to live with. But there is no one else.

Ally makes a decision. Warren does not like the decision, but she will do something she should have done years ago. She is going to find Sonny. Maybe Nick can live with him, wherever he is. She hasn’t heard anything from him since the night he left her without saying goodbye. He simply snuck away.

Ally finds where Sonny is online and prepares to leave on their trip to Texas. For most of the trip, Nick ignores her. But then they share some unexpected moments. And, Nick gives a glimmer, a sliver of hope to Ally.

Then, before finding Sonny, Nick reveals something Ally didn’t expect.

They do find Sonny, but Ally was unprepared. She had all of the years apart to think of her questions, but now she doesn’t know what to say after he says where he has been. And, the questions he asks makes her question her choices.

And, what about Nick?
I was happy to get a copy of What I Left Behind to read and give my honest about the book.

[Jude Harsomething · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good I Read this in two sittings. Whilst it appears I’m a lenient reviewer (according to the stats) 5* reviews are hard to get from me these days. But oh boy does this deserve it.

I’d class this as an easy read. But that’s not a negative at all. It is so refreshing to read a novel that has a real life feel to it whilst maintaining a fictional feeling. The execution of Allyson, the main character is brilliant. You can feel the insecurities, the need for love, the regrets from the pages. But you also get frustrated with her inabilities to see what’s in front of her and what should be behind her. It’s a whole journey. One I’ve only ever seen in general fiction in the works of Jodi Picoult. High praise for this author and I’m dying to read more of their books.

I was provided a copy of this book by BookSirens. I was not paid for this review and it is reflective of my true thoughts and feelings for the novel.

[SCSoftballMom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful read!!!!!

[Sam Andersen · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.0 Stars: I received an advance review copy for free from the Publisher and BookSirens, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. This book took me on a journey, slowly through the life of Allyson. At first the path was revealed slowly. It was midway through the book that I was totally hooked and thereafter, I couldn’t put it down.

The first half of the book frustrated me as it was a little slow. I felt like I was banging my head against the wall because the main character, Aly, could not put things behind her that happened 36 years prior when she was just 16 years old. She spent her days dancing around her past instead of taking hold of the blessings waiting in front of her. I really thought at age 16 she should’ve gone to counseling….or any time there after!

Thankfully, in the second half of the book, some major developments in Aly’s life forced her to really work through the past and let it go. This allowed her to finally form a bridge to the present and future. She was able to let go of her fears and take some risks. These are lessons we all need to reassess when we find that our lives have become stagnant.

This book made me laugh and cry. It touched my heart and made me think through my own past and the decisions I made throughout my journey. The book was well written, and I will definitely read more of Jennifer Archer’s books.

[Daniel Coyne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good book about a 17 year old girl who gave up her daughter at birth because she felt she could not take care of her and she would be have a better life with a good family. It always bothered her and held back her life. Ally saw her daughter in every red haired girl/woman she met. Just when she thought her life was finally coming together at 52 she is surprised by a grandson she never knew she had. Nicks mother, Ally's daughter had recently died from cancer. Nick is left alone in the care of his mothers friends who are too overwhelmed with their own family to offer him what he needs. Nick and his grandmother start out on rocky ground since Ally has never been married and has no children. Ally decides to seek out the grandfather (Sonny) of Nick who she has not seen since he left her after they went to Woodstock together and probably does not know about his daughter and now his grandson. Ally and Nick head to Texas from Oregon to find Sonny who is a farmer/rancher. The meeting is awkward but Ally learns why Nick left and they end up as friends and decide to share custody of Nick who finds he loves both Ally and Nick and want to spend time with both. I really liked the book.

[Shelly Itkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

At sixteen years of age, Allyson Cole along with Sonny McGraw embark on a trip to Woodstock without there parents knowledge or concent. Although they were wild times the consequences have lived on forever. Aly getting pregnant at sixteen and her parents pressuing her to give the baby up for adoption.

Aly did not have the courage to fight them and say she wanted to keep the baby but then when waking up in Woodstock to find that Sonny had disappeared from the entire group without saying a word she felt she had no choice. She was still in school and could not afford to even take care of this baby. Besides neveer hearing from Sonny again and constantly wondering where and why did he leave?

We now fast forward to over thirty years later. Aly is a successful business women owning her own restaurant and in love with Warren, a doctor whom she adores. She was always hesitant about a commitment but this is the closest she has come and feels they might be moving on to the next step.

Totally unprepared for the arrival of Nick Pearson her grandson her world is suddenly turned upside down. Is this really her grandson, is she a grandmother?

[Cherye Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

A should have, I would have book

A very interesting story. Thought provoking. The author shows you what happens when you don't turn left. Definitely recommend this book and the author. Her books are very enjoyable to read.

I have to post the whole paragraph. Not a spoiler. Just some creative writing.

The woman pulls off a platform shoe, exposing her bare foot. The thick nails on her twisted toes are covered with chipped, sparkly blue polish. She rubs her sole and mutters, “Bunions…they’re an occupational hazard, ya know?” I glance up into her wrinkled, over-rouged face, hoping my disgust doesn’t show. “What do you do?” “Hook.” “Rugs?” I ask hopefully. “No, hon.” She winks. “Not rugs.” Nick turns and stares at her, his mouth open. “Only one of my profession left in this town. Man wants a little pleasure around here, he pays me a visit.” “And brings two paper bags with him,” the biker next door yells. “One to put over his head and one to barf in.” “That you, Crow?” Cookie calls back, her voice raspy. “Yeah, it’s me. How’d you know?” “I smell ya.”

[Tena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever been asked if you could go back in time and change anything would you? Or if you could go back to your youth for one day what day would you choose? There is a play called Our Town that is about a young woman that has died and is in a cemetary surrounded by townsfolk that have passed throughout the years. They try to help her accept her fate by allowing her to choose a day to go back to her life for a brief visit. She chooses an ordinary day. What I Left Behind is about events in our youth that have the power to change our past. Allison Cole has a predictable, comfortable present day life. She thinks she has handled her past, finally, and is ready to face her future. But then her past shows up. The realization of decisions Allison has made, both past and present, creates a wonderful story that drew me in and kept me reading.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Amber | afterthepages · Rating 4 out of 5]

What would you do if you wanted to embrace the future you so desperately wanted, but you can’t let go of the past that you still have questions about?

Allyson Cole, at 16, felt forced to give away her red-headed baby girl for adoption, when her first love - Sonny McGraw - disappeared out of her life without knowing she was pregnant.

Now, 30 years later, Allyson has not ever gotten married or had another child. Ally wonders about her baby girl every time she sees a red-haired woman. She wonders why her daughter has not tried to find her and why Sonny left her all those years ago.

Ally’s life takes another unexpected turn when Nick Pearson, who claims to be her grandson, shows up on her doorstep. Suddenly, Ally must decide if she can face her past in order to move forward.

I enjoyed this so much…way more than I expected to. It was such a good heartfelt read.
*Please check trigger warnings on this book before picking it up and reading!

[Claudete Takahashi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love to read about the late ´60s and ´70s, the hippie movement, Woodstock, the political issues of those times and this book is full of notes regarding those times, it´s full of memories. It´s a story with characters that we can easily relate to, with lives very similar to any of ours, and difficulties and unsolved issues that can hold anyone back. It made me think why sometimes taking a decision is so difficult - is it because we are afraid of the future or because we cannot let go of the past? This book although a work of fiction leaves the reader with a lot of food for thought. Beautifully written, it´s easy to read and guaranteed good entertainment.
I downloaded a free copy of this book and this is my honest review.

[Pat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay but predictable novel - 2.5 stars

Girl and boy go to Woodstock. Boy leaves her there unexpectedly with no explanation or warning. Surprise - girl is pregnant! She (Ally) gives up the baby for adoption but she never gets over it, or the boy (Sonny) who left.

Some 35 or 40 years later, Ally has never married but has a successful career and a successful boyfriend, Warren. One day there's a knock on her door. Whoever can it be??

Cue the road trip in search of Sonny. But who does Ally love now? Sonny or Warren? If you really want to know, read the book. But there's no real surprise here - just forgettable characters and the usual tropes. I would prefer giving this novel 2 1/2 stars, as I don't think it's 3 star caliber.

[Jedimelinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

A sweet story, What I Left Behind is a tale about one woman's coming to terms with her past, getting answers she desperately needs, and learning the art of forgiveness -- both to forgive others as well as herself (not always the easiest thing to do).
Archer's characters are real. There is no high drama to keep the story moving along. It is easy to put yourself in the shoes of each of the characters, to relate to them. We all have ups and downs in our lives, happy times and sad times. This is a real life story, and I'd say that's what makes it so enjoyable to read. I found it a nice change of pace.
Happy Reading! :-)

[Sally Andrews · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alyson Cole had a teenage love affair that resulted in pregnancy. He left for the Vietnam war without telling her, for some reason, and her parents made her give up the baby girl. Finally she settles in as a successful restaurant owner and after many years, falls in love. Reluctant to marry, she struggles along, finally agreeing to tie the knot.

Enter the grandson she never knew she had. He has lost his mother (Alyson's daughter) to cancer and has no father on the scene. Alyson learns a lot about him as they travel to find his grandfather in Texas. Ultimately, the tension all works out for the good.

Sweet read, with some neat little twists and turns.

[Roberta aka Bobbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Allyson's story was so much like my own I had to stop reading a few times just to remind myself I was reading what someone else had written. I appreciated the depth of feelings Ms. Archer brought to this story. Especially since it wasn't just Allyson's feelings... She included feelings of all the characters, at least the main ones. It's a good lesson for all of us to realize we don't always think or feel like others in any given situation. Some parts weren't what I consider clean so although there's lessons to be learned I think this book is better suited to at least 20 years old and up.

I received an advance review copy for free and in exchange have voluntarily given this honest review.

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kinda sad...shows how circumstances and misunderstandings can have lifelong repercussions. In this case, 36 years later the two main characters finally get the chance to meet up again and ask the hard questions. And while both are doing well in their current lives, they realize how different life could have been had there not been those misunderstandings. I’m not calling them “mistakes”, because both characters made hard choices based on what they thought was for the best. Did it turn out the best way? Maybe not. But they can’t change the past, and life is full of things they can’t control, so they just have to adjust to their new future. Quick read.

[Holley Cuppia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a heartfelt story! Young love is a beautiful thing.
Allyson wakes up all alone the morning after Woodstock. Her boyfriend is gone, never to be heard from again. When she finds out she’s pregnant, she decides to put the baby up for adoption. Now years later, a grungy looking boy shows up, claiming to be her grandson, and takes her life off track. When she decides it’s only fair to look up her missing first love to let him know about their grandson, she wonders if she ever really got over him.
A story so full of emotions!
Love, pain, sacrifice, loneliness, grief, acceptance….you might need tissues to finish the story!

[Julia Burk-dunahoo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my first book by Jennifer Archer, it won't be my last. This was a quick read for me, Archer grabbing my attention in the first chapter and setting the story line so well I couldn't help but turn the page. As is oft the case, the heartbreaking choices we make in our youth have a way of weaving and winding the very thread of our lives. Given the chance to reexamine everything you thought you knew, with new truths, an opportunity to put down that heavy cloak of past wrongs and come out all the better for it. I laughed, I cried and cheered them all on!
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Jennifer Nethers · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book only took a few hours to read. The writing is easy and fluid. The story is interesting without being weighted down by intense mystery. While I liked the characters, I was disappointed in how flatly they were all described, making it hard to picture them and relate to them. I feel the story could have benefited from a little more description overall, but a heartfelt story nonetheless. I enjoyed the bookends of journal entries to open and close the story. If you're looking for the Lifetime Movie Netwook in book form, this will be perfect for you.

[Janet Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Touching and Emotional Tale
This is a story that will leave you in tears. The story of love past, decisions made, and coming out the other side. Our heroine is forced to come to grips with her past, and through that, her present and future. The emotion runs high in this well-told story. All of the characters are complete, flaws and all. This is the type of book that will be on my mind for a while. A truly enjoyable story that I am glad I read.

[Charlotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was so pleasantly surprised with this book. Allyson has a cafe and is engaged but her past has always held her back. The decision she made as a young woman haunts her and has held her back in forming relationships and trusting those who love her not to abandon her. When Nick shows up, we’re taken along the ride of forgiveness, love, and moving on. A beautiful story on how the choices we make can haunt us and sometimes we only need to forgive ourselves to be happy and embrace life.

[Jasmin · Rating 4 out of 5]

*4.5 stars. I loved this book. It had me hooked from the beginning and I found myself constantly stuck between wanting her to choose her past (her first love) and her future (Warren). I appreciated the full circle moments and the evolving relationship between the grandson and her, too. I’m still unsure about the ending lol, but only because part of me is still rooting for the other guy. First time reading this author and not disappointed!

[Melissa Akey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow talk about a emotional read .
Having children I could not imagine going through so much .
I couldn't put this down until I finished it
It definitely has a great story line and is well written
I just found Jennifer and I cannot wait to read more

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily

[Barb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Allyson Cole owns a successful restaurant and newly engaged to a man she loves, she’s ready to put her regrets behind her. But when a boy named Nick Pearson shows up at her door claiming he’s her grandson and needing her help, Ally can no longer ignore the questions that have haunted her since she was sixteen.

[Sally Van Slyke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a sweet story. Ally is 50 and shy to start any relationship as she can not forget her teenage sweetheart. Ally has a baby at 17 and gave it up for adoption. She was surprised when she gets a knock on the door and it is Nick her grandson. Nick and Ally go on a road trip to search for her teenage sweetheart who happens to be Nick's grandfather.

[Cathi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I connected with this book. It was almost biographical in some places and yet I am so blessed with how my story turned out differently. Jennifer Archer developed the characters well, took a difficult topic and created a believable story, and gave the reader an opportunity to share the grace that the characters found and gave one another. Did I say that I loved this book!?!

[Shannon Rolando · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderfully written

I found myself feeling the emotions of each character as I read. Jennifer knows how to make you feel these emotions on a personal level. I felt like I could relate with each character. Such a great story line! One of those books ill read over and over. I highly recommend!