Sex Positive Talks to Have With Kids: A guide to raising sexually healthy, informed, empowered young people

by Melissa Pintor Carnagey

Sex Positive Talks to Have With Kids is your guide to creating an open, shame-free connection with the young people in your world. These talks will help caregivers create the kind of bond that keeps kids safer, empowered, and returning to you for support along their journey. Melissa Carnagey, renowned sexuality educator for youth and families, walks you through over 150 conversation starters, reflection exercises, and activities you can begin implementing at every age and stage on topics such as: bodies, consent, pleasure, sex, menstruation, gender, sexual orientation, safe & unsafe touch, pornography, feelings, relationships, and media literacy. This inclusive, medically accurate, comprehensive guide is perfect for any parent or caregiver that’s ready to normalize the talks and be that trusted adult we all needed growing up.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Childrens, Sexuality, Family

103 pages, Paperback

Published October 14, 2020

Reviews

[Andrea Montan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish a caregiver in my youth would have had this resource available to them. I would have ended up a far different person; informed and free of shame. Their website is also full of additional, quality resources for all topics included in the book. Really a must have for parents of kids aged infant to teen.

[Vani Alagarsamy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The books explains all different type of topics to be known by an adult themselves and to be discussed with their kids and what level of depth to talk age appropriate. It also gives us space to reflect on our own thoughts and understand ourselves. I personally love the glossary part most...

[Tibby]

A slim, but helpful, volume of conversation starters for parents. Most of the topics do not deal directly with sex and sexuality despite the title. The book starts with a helpful introduction full of tips and tricks as well as reassurance about the subjects. This is especially helpful if you were not raised in an open, accepting, and empowered household.

Chapters on a variety of topics follow from body awareness to gender to sexual orientation to safety and consent to intimacy to media literacy. Within each of these broader topics are more specific ones. Pintor walks parents through discussion around the topic at hand then offers suggestions for things to say to children in a variety of age ranges. If you haven't had these conversations yet, this is incredibly helpful for kickstarting them. Each conversation starter also offers the rationale behind why it's phrased as it is. These are followed by thought/journal prompts for adults to assess their own comfort level with the topics and helps you dive into where your beliefs about these topics might come from.

To me the book was very reassuring that I have been approaching most of these topics already. I appreciate the journal prompts most because for the topics I can feel my discomfort around it is helpful to excavate where that comes from and root it out. I want my kids to be better prepared and way more empowered than I ever felt around these things.

[A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inclusive, progressive, sex-positive - this book is an incredible resource for families & communities (schools). Highly recommend. Check out their (Sex Positive Families) website too for more information on specific topics and support for families.

[Halley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick afternoon read and provides some great insight. I think it'll be a great book to reference as we journey through parenthood and share with others as well.

[Deborah Lowder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource for both parenting and reparenting around sex/sexual health

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conversation starters by age are great, so are the ideas for introspection for parents that will impact their conversations. Also really like the media literacy section.

[Holly Rickard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent should read this book.

[Morganne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provides an amazing overview that is stigma-free and inclusive for parents and teachers alike. About 1 hr read. Though I have done a lot of my own learning/relearning on these topics and inclusive language, this gave me some new guiding questions/ideas/language to support different age groups or scenarios. It will be on the top of my list to recommend to parents, colleagues, friends... It also includes links and suggestions to other resources to extend learning for each of the common topics.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a good, straightforward resource for parents, but it includes content that honestly would be good for everyone to be aware of regardless of whether or not they have children. It's extremely inclusive and sex positive (as one would expect), and it centers on creating a trust-based relationship with one's children to foster their healthy growth and safety.

[Shawnee McPhail · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent !!

[Mahrya Q · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book with tons of resources. I enjoyed the conversation starters, I just wish there were more of them. This book was much shorter than I would have liked, but was very inclusive. Good information, just not enough.

[Alex Heinrikson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I follow sex positive families on Instagram and I actually won this book. If there’s one thing to take away from this review, it’s BUY IT and FOLLOW THEM. It has everything from body parts to consent and porn. I get it, sex makes people uncomfortable. However, it’s our job as parents to create honest and open comfortable conversations with our children-education is key and it’s better they get accurate shame free information from us. I really like that it makes space for us to reflect on our sex education, what we learned and wished we’d had learned. It’s a great starting point for those hard conversations, and it separates each topic by age which is really helpful.

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book I would recommend for every adult to read. Teens could read it themselves and still have a great base of information as well as a great point of discussion for the adults in their lives. I wish so desperately there had been more discussion of sexual health and all that entails in our lives. Sexual health is how we view ourselves, how we take care of ourselves, how we move through the world. It's literally who we are. Our self worth, our self esteem - they are connected. Grateful to Melissa Pintor Carnagey for writing such a user friendly book!

[Erica M. Butler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will always and forever support Sex Positive Families and anything Melissa does! This book is a PHENOMENAL resource, I open it at least once or twice a week, I recommend it all the time to my fellow mamas and clients, it’s just such a great resource. I can’t encourage you to purchase this and read it time and time again! There’s always something to learn from it!

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve recently become passionate about sex positivity in the home. While I may not completely agree with all the ideas in this book, I love the main takeaway of having open & shame-free conversations with my children. This book has great suggestions and I want to revisit it as my kids grow!

[Lex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Straightforward, informative, and inclusive. A must have tool for parents and caregivers of kids of all ages.

[Carrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.75 / 5 stars

Much of the messaging about consent and pleasure and other health and sex topics that I received as a child/teen was just whatever I heard from peers or the culture at large. Because of my experience, it is important to me to have more open, shame-free discussions with my daughter. This book has a host of inclusive conversation topics for parents and caregivers, from bodies and consent to menstruation, sex, and sexuality, with each section subdivided by age so that you can tailor conversations to be age-appropriate. It is definitely an intro to these topics but includes plenty of resources so that you can find more in-depth guidance on whatever topic you're looking to delve deeper into. I am happy this book exists and think it will be a helpful initial resource to turn to throughout my daughter's life.

[James]

Sex Positive Talks to Have With Kids is your guide to creating an open, shame-free connection with the young people in your world. These talks will help caregivers create the kind of bond that keeps kids safer, empowered, and returning to you for support along their journey. Melissa Carnagey, renowned sexuality educator for youth and families, walks you through over 150 conversation starters, reflection exercises, and activities you can begin implementing at every age and stage on topics such as: bodies, consent, pleasure, sex, menstruation, gender, sexual orientation, safe & unsafe touch, pornography, feelings, relationships, and media literacy. This inclusive, medically accurate, comprehensive guide is perfect for any parent or caregiver that’s ready to normalize the talks and be that trusted adult we all needed growing up.

[Bryony Crain · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great primer for anyone who is starting to think about talking to their child about sex. It is a very brief and high level book so don’t pick up this book expecting a ton of information, but it’s a very solid place to start. Each section has prompts for caregivers to think about how their own thoughts about these topics were formed and to reflect on their feelings about these topic. Highly recommend!

[Shannon Marie Wagner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an important book and a good overview so I'm giving it 5 stars but it definitely just scratches the surface on many topics related to sex positivity and you'll need to look for additional resources on each subject.

[Katie M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very quick book to help empower/guide parents to raise empowered and informed kiddos. Covers a lot of great topics and gives us a good starting place. They approach it from all ages so no matter how old your kid is, there is guidance to help you scaffold different topics.

[Nasia Alexandrou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exactly what it says in the title. Delivers 100%! Not a book you actually “finish”. I will keep it close and turn to it for advice now and then!

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great starting point! I had the expectation it would be a bit more in-depth.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you never had a grown have these conversations with you (which I think is most of us), this book is a must read for parents.