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224 pages, Hardcover
Published December 1, 2020
Uncle Jake taught me the difference between self-discipline and imposed disicpline. Imposed discipline is when someone else, like a parent, a teacher, a coach, or someone in a position of authority orders you to do something. They are telling you what to do so you can get better and it can be very helpful. Everyone can use help staying disciplined. Bu, that type of discipline isn't as strong as self-discipline. Self-discipline comes from YOU. It allows you to make yourself better, to push yourself even harder. True discipline comes from within.
There's a big difference between failing and losing. If you can apply what you learned from failure, you actually never lose. Uncle Jake always says "Win or Learn," which means you either succeed at your goal or you learn from failing to reach it. The only way you lose is if you're not disciplined in how you react to failure.
Realistically, it's going to take you about six months of going to jiu-jitsu class before you feel like you "get it". If you really want to get better, you should train at LEAST twice a week. If you can only go once a week, you might forget what you've learned the week before.
Learning how to learn means you understand that LEARNING is a PROCESS. That process involves hard work, curiosity, focus, discipline, and patience. It doesn't matter if it's math, jiu-jitsu, mowing lawns, folding laundry, playing basketball, setting the dinner table... no one magically figures out how to do any of those things! You have to learn them! In order to learn them, you have to follow steps. Those steps are called a PROCESS.
Uncle Jake also told me that kids who are good at lots of stuff sometimes get COMFORTABLE because they are so good at so many things. They think they can coast. That attitude can make them LAZY in the long run. They won't work as hard as you do to learn things. They might not even push themselves to get better at the stuff they're naturally good at! If they don't challenge themselves, they'll never reach their potential.
I wish I had gotten that lesson much younger. Took me far into my 20s for it to sink in.
My favorite section -- in terms of wisdome but also in terms of a fresh take on the lessons compared to the first 3 books -- was Section 6: Attitude....we also need to train our minds so that we have the right attitude. Attitude is how WE CHOOSE to look at situations in life. And our attitude shapes the actions we take in those situations. For a Warrior Kid, having a positive attitude is like having a super power! It protects you and helps you make the right decisions no matter how difficult the situation. But a bad attitude does just the opposite. It actually weakens you and makes things worse -- a lot worse!
This is a point of view that is not nearly common enough today. People walk around saying, "you MADE ME FEEL angry/sad/offended/etc." when the reality is that you should have more control over your reactions. This is not a new lesson. In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he says you should be response-ABLE, that is, able to manage your response to inputs.
In Jocko's general education, "DETACH" is the first key thing to do when approaching any situation, particularly challenging ones. This means you have to become dispassionate about it. The opposite of just reacting. This lesson wasn't explicit in the first 3 books, but he says it here:DETACH: Stay calm. You don't want to lose control of your emotions. FREAKING OUT is not an option, even if other people are. Take a deep breath and detach your emotions.
Detach, Evaluate, Identify, Take Action, Learn.
Such things come with a bunch of examples. The examples, in particular, can be great teaching aids when working with kids.
Another great lesson here -- and one that is new in the series -- is about sadness. That is, DETATCH doesn't mean to NOT FEEL anything.Sadness is a part of life. Just like happiness. Just like anger. Just like fear and just like excitement. And just like every other emotion, it's important to not let it control you. But that doesn't mean we should bury our sadness. While we should control our emotions, it doesn't mean having emotions is wrong -- emotions are great. It's how you work through them that's important.
In the discussion about foods, this gem appears:Maybe you're at a birthday party and it's all cake, candy, and chips.
It's not a big deal when this kind of thing happens. Just go with it. You don't want to complain and you don't want to act like you're SOOOOOO IMPORTANT that you MUST HAVE GOOD FOOD TO SURVIVE!! HA!
First off, Warrior Kids don't complain. They find solutions. They also don't blame others -- they help out others when they can.
So be appreciative that SOMEONE IS FEEDING YOU.
Darn skippy. In today's age when diet is like religion, it's helpful reminder that there are things more important than your own preferences sometimes. When I grew up, if you were at someone's house and they served you whatever, you ate it. These days, the whole "oh I don't eat X" I find self-centered and distasteful when there's not a hard medical reason for it, and it's good to see that there are others out there who feel similar.
There's also some wisdom of the kind that most kids aren't really exposed to. I'm not 100% sure how well this type of moralizing would work with kids. Seems much less effective than the first 3 books, so this should definitely not be a substitute for them.Do you remember when Uncle Jake told me that time was precious at the end of my seventh grade summer? Well, I remember! In fact, I'll never forget what he said. NO ONE gets a second chance with life which means we never get back the time we waste on things like computer games, goofy cat videos, social media, and LAZY DAYS! That's lost time that you could be spending doing the right thing, doing something REAL... like practicing jiu-jitsu, exercising, doing important chores, or hanging out with your friends -- doing the right things and LEARNING.
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I know... I know... they're both super fun. IT can seem like the best time when you and your friends are pitted against each other, shooting it up, racing around and crushing high scores -- or crushing potato chips while binge-watching TV for hours! But think about it... what are computer games and videos actually doing for you? They aren't getting you better at anything REAL. They don't make you smarter, stronger, healthier, or better. They make you dumber, weaker, and less healthy!