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The Compleat Gentleman: The Modern Man's Guide to Chivalry
At a time of astonishing confusion about what it means to be a man, Brad Miner has recovered the oldest and best ideal of the gentleman. Reviving a thousand-year tradition of chivalry, honor, and heroism, The Compleat Gentleman provides the essential model for twenty-first-century masculinity. Despite our confusion, real manhood is not complicated. It is an ancient ideal based on service to one’s God, country, family, and friends—a simple but arduous ideal worthy of a lifetime of struggle. Miner’s gentleman stands out for his dignity, restraint, and discernment. He rejects the notion that one way of behaving is as good as another. He belongs to an aristocracy of virtue, not of wealth or birth. Proposing neither a club nor a movement, Miner describes a lofty code of manly conduct, which, far from threatening democracy, is necessary for its survival. Miner traces the concept of manliness from the jousting fields of the twelfth century to the decks of the Titanic. The three masculine archetypes that emerge—the warrior, the lover, and the monk—combine in the character of the "compleat gentleman." This modern knight cultivates a martial spirit in defense of the true and the beautiful. He treats the opposite sex with the passionate respect required by courtly love. And he values learning in the pursuit of truth—all with the discretion, decorum, and nonchalance that the Renaissance called sprezzatura. The Compleat Gentleman is filled with examples from the past and the present of the man our increasingly uncivilized age demands.
264 pages, Hardcover
First published April 26, 2004
46 people are currently reading
1334 people want to read
About the author
Brad Miner
8 books6 followersBrad Miner is the Senior Editor of The Catholic Thing and a Senior Fellow of the Faith & Reason Institute. He is a former Literary Editor of National Review. His most recent book, Sons of St. Patrick, written with George J. Marlin, is now on sale. His The Compleat Gentleman is now available in a third, revised edition from Regnery Gateway and is also available in an Audible audio edition (read by Bob Souer). Mr. Miner has served as a board member of Aid to the Church In Need USA and also on the Selective Service System draft board in Westchester County, NY.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
June 22, 2011
There were some pretty low ratings for this book in this venue. So, let me start out by saying that this is not a book of manners and polite pleasantries. If you're trying to figure out which fork to use with which course, you needn't waste your time looking for it here.
Using over a thousand years of history and etymology, this book is also not some propaganda piece thrown together to discredit or redefine manliness. At its core, this book reintroduces the chivalrous man to the modern era.
The author has a rich vocabulary, for which the "pocket" dictionary wasn't of much use. Still, it was a relatively quick read. It also had insights into other issues of our day and succeeded in educating this reader (just short of epiphany) on several topics left completely untouched by other books.
Using over a thousand years of history and etymology, this book is also not some propaganda piece thrown together to discredit or redefine manliness. At its core, this book reintroduces the chivalrous man to the modern era.
The author has a rich vocabulary, for which the "pocket" dictionary wasn't of much use. Still, it was a relatively quick read. It also had insights into other issues of our day and succeeded in educating this reader (just short of epiphany) on several topics left completely untouched by other books.
February 4, 2008
I like the premise of this book and was excited about the title, however this book reads like someones Graduate dissertation.
Too many pretentious words and needless rambling about obscure writers and quotes. I struggled through it.
I like references to classical literature but not every three sentences.
There is a difference between best SELLING authors and best WRITING authors.
You have to write in a language that the masses can easily read and enjoy. This one is not.
However, being a compleat gentlemen also means being astute and worldly, so there is an argument for both sides.
Too many pretentious words and needless rambling about obscure writers and quotes. I struggled through it.
I like references to classical literature but not every three sentences.
There is a difference between best SELLING authors and best WRITING authors.
You have to write in a language that the masses can easily read and enjoy. This one is not.
However, being a compleat gentlemen also means being astute and worldly, so there is an argument for both sides.
April 20, 2011
Chivelry may have lost its appeal in the 21st century, but Mr. Miner brings to light a few areas men should focus on in living their lives: the knight, the warrior, the monk, and the lover. I thoroughly enjoyed his closing remarks on what it will take to re-establish the man's role in society.
March 28, 2024
«Джентльмен подібний до воїна, бо знає, що має, за що битися, і він буде битися. Він — коханець, тому що дозволяє дружині та сімʼї звільнити себе від тиранії його его. Він подібний до монаха, бо застосовує ученість для розгадування таємниць людської душі. Він володіє цим поєднанням стриманості й відчуженості, що зветься sprezzatura, і це можна так само легко назвати незворушністю»
February 4, 2021
While providing several great threads to follow up on, the book seems incomplete. On the positive side, the book provides a history of chivalry and shows how the idea evolved through time. Chapters 2 and 3, on knighthood in the middle ages and on the English and American idea of the gentleman respectively, were excellent. The later chapters were not as good.
The book convinced me, without intending to, that the “gentleman” must be attached to an objective standard. The author doesn’t require a system for discerning the good, the true, and the beautiful, (though he seems to suggest that he finds Christian ethics to be the answer personally), yet he argues throughout that the gentleman must be willing to fight and die for these things. This system would be found, if it’s found anywhere, in religious commitment. Yet, the author goes so far as to say that the gentleman must not overemphasize his religious commitment to the detriment of his other duties. And this, to me, is why the book is inadequate. The author’s claim that religious faith is one of several orbiting duties that the gentleman balances is one that I see as deadly to the whole idea of chivalry. There must be priority given to fundamental commitments. From these fundamental commitments, we can then order our duties and act accordingly. Without this ordering, the gentleman is lost and chivalry will remain dead.
In other words, Miner doesn’t solve what may be called the Bibb Barrett problem. Bibb Barrett, a character from Walker Percy’s book The Last Gentleman, is a young man who is lost and who knows he is lost. He comes from a line of great men, gentlemen in fact, but he himself has no clue how to act. He wants to be a man of honor, but he doesn’t know how. Percy describes the degeneration of Southern chivalry and honor through the Barrett family line:
“Over the years his family had turned ironical and lost its gift for action. It was an honorable and violent family, but gradually the violence had been deflected and turned inward. The great grandfather knew what was what and said so and acted accordingly and did not care what anyone thought. He even wore a pistol in a holster like a Western hero and once met the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan in a barbershop and invited him then and there to shoot it out in the street. The next generation, the grandfather, seemed to know what was what but he was not really so sure. He was brave but the gave much thought to the business of being brave. He too would have shot it out with the Grand Wizard if only he could have made certain it was the thing to do. The father was a brave man too and he said he didn't care what others thought, but he did care. More than anything else, he wished to act with honor and to be thought well of by other men. So living for him was a strain. He became ironical. For him it was not a small thing to walk down the street on an ordinary September morning. In the end he was killed by his own irony and sadness and by the strain of living out an ordinary day in a perfect dance of honor. As for the present young man, the last of the line, he did not know what to think. So he became a watcher and a listener and a wanderer.”
In a postmodern world, Bibb Barrett is where abstract chivalry leads us (or to a Miniver Cheevy, which Miner refers to). Miner does a great job of plugging in several roles and duties to the surge protector of chivalry and gentlemanly conduct. He just neglects to highlight the importance of plugging the surge protector into the electrical outlet, which is not a minor detail. From this perspective, it is easy to see how chivalry soured and turned into pretension, pride of social standing, debauchery, and laziness. And it also explains why the thought of a “gentleman” is laughable in our modern culture. It is out of fashion because it implies living in accordance with a certain set of principles, and these principles are held to be superior to any other way of living. But the principles themselves are essential to the whole idea of chivalry.
The book convinced me, without intending to, that the “gentleman” must be attached to an objective standard. The author doesn’t require a system for discerning the good, the true, and the beautiful, (though he seems to suggest that he finds Christian ethics to be the answer personally), yet he argues throughout that the gentleman must be willing to fight and die for these things. This system would be found, if it’s found anywhere, in religious commitment. Yet, the author goes so far as to say that the gentleman must not overemphasize his religious commitment to the detriment of his other duties. And this, to me, is why the book is inadequate. The author’s claim that religious faith is one of several orbiting duties that the gentleman balances is one that I see as deadly to the whole idea of chivalry. There must be priority given to fundamental commitments. From these fundamental commitments, we can then order our duties and act accordingly. Without this ordering, the gentleman is lost and chivalry will remain dead.
In other words, Miner doesn’t solve what may be called the Bibb Barrett problem. Bibb Barrett, a character from Walker Percy’s book The Last Gentleman, is a young man who is lost and who knows he is lost. He comes from a line of great men, gentlemen in fact, but he himself has no clue how to act. He wants to be a man of honor, but he doesn’t know how. Percy describes the degeneration of Southern chivalry and honor through the Barrett family line:
“Over the years his family had turned ironical and lost its gift for action. It was an honorable and violent family, but gradually the violence had been deflected and turned inward. The great grandfather knew what was what and said so and acted accordingly and did not care what anyone thought. He even wore a pistol in a holster like a Western hero and once met the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan in a barbershop and invited him then and there to shoot it out in the street. The next generation, the grandfather, seemed to know what was what but he was not really so sure. He was brave but the gave much thought to the business of being brave. He too would have shot it out with the Grand Wizard if only he could have made certain it was the thing to do. The father was a brave man too and he said he didn't care what others thought, but he did care. More than anything else, he wished to act with honor and to be thought well of by other men. So living for him was a strain. He became ironical. For him it was not a small thing to walk down the street on an ordinary September morning. In the end he was killed by his own irony and sadness and by the strain of living out an ordinary day in a perfect dance of honor. As for the present young man, the last of the line, he did not know what to think. So he became a watcher and a listener and a wanderer.”
In a postmodern world, Bibb Barrett is where abstract chivalry leads us (or to a Miniver Cheevy, which Miner refers to). Miner does a great job of plugging in several roles and duties to the surge protector of chivalry and gentlemanly conduct. He just neglects to highlight the importance of plugging the surge protector into the electrical outlet, which is not a minor detail. From this perspective, it is easy to see how chivalry soured and turned into pretension, pride of social standing, debauchery, and laziness. And it also explains why the thought of a “gentleman” is laughable in our modern culture. It is out of fashion because it implies living in accordance with a certain set of principles, and these principles are held to be superior to any other way of living. But the principles themselves are essential to the whole idea of chivalry.
possible-purchase
May 12, 2021This book has been on my 'to-read' since 2008, in other words almost since I joined GRs. I joined in 2007. After reading another* positive review (also by a woman) I decided I HAVE to read it. So I am buying it for my husband 😉 for Father's Day. Then I will read it and (hopefully) annoy him into reading it too...
*The first one was by my young friend Clare and I don't remember now where it is after all these years. I think it was on her blog which I cannot find.
*The first one was by my young friend Clare and I don't remember now where it is after all these years. I think it was on her blog which I cannot find.
September 17, 2012
Not in love with the study of idiomology and felt like that took up too much of the book. Plus, he was super wordy. Did learn a little about history but the examples were definitely not uplifting. Will not be sharing this book with my class.
April 7, 2024
Чудова історична, соціологічна й разом з тим філософська праця. Книга, котру варто прочитати кожному чоловіку аби знати належний вектор розвитку в житті та поведінці. Книга, котру потрібно прочитати кожній жінці аби знати товариства яких чоловіків варто прагнути і як виховувати нащадків. Приклади достойних вчинків та відповідної мудрости. Виважено та правдиво.
March 26, 2024
This is a book that has been calling to me from my wife’s section of the bookshelf for a number of years. Without knowing much about it, I decided to dive in. What I discovered was a serious (but not too serious) discussion on chivalry through the prism of three historical archetypes (i.e., the knight, the monk, and the lover), and how we might define and apply chivalry today. The author is not crusading for a new age of chivalry, but he does provide a great deal of food for thought.
This book is a delightful read. The blurb on the dusk jacket describes the book as “erudite and witty” and I’ll be damned if that isn’t right on the money. The author is clearly well-read and isn’t afraid to throw out some big words when the opportunity presents itself, but this always done tastefully and with restraint. Naturally.
This book has received mixed reviews here on GR. I perused several negative reviews to see what people might be thinking, and found nearly all of them to be disingenuous and petty, if not outright dishonest. This book was written objectively and honestly by an author with an obvious passion for the subject. What more could a reader ask for?
This book is a delightful read. The blurb on the dusk jacket describes the book as “erudite and witty” and I’ll be damned if that isn’t right on the money. The author is clearly well-read and isn’t afraid to throw out some big words when the opportunity presents itself, but this always done tastefully and with restraint. Naturally.
This book has received mixed reviews here on GR. I perused several negative reviews to see what people might be thinking, and found nearly all of them to be disingenuous and petty, if not outright dishonest. This book was written objectively and honestly by an author with an obvious passion for the subject. What more could a reader ask for?
February 24, 2008
One of the worst books I have ever read (I admit I couldn't finish it; life is too short for such rubbish) Skip this book and read the first 4000 lines or so of The Romance of the Rose, Andreas Capellanus' The Art of Courtly Love, Castiglione's The Book of the Courtier, and Machiavelli's The Prince. When the author is not going on about his martial art experience and why war helps build character (the author takes a detour to explain to his politically conservative audience how he managed to sit out the Vietnam war but how he now regrets it) he actually does touch upon some of these authors' discussions of "Courtly" behavior. Save yourself the headache and read these work yourself. I highly recommend the Book of the Courtier--just as relevant in 16th century Italy as it is now but be careful not to take everything you read in the Courtier at face value!
September 10, 2018
The narrator sounded smarmy, but maybe there was no other way to read the text. It constantly swaps out gentleman/humans, pauses to say no girls allowed, and then occasionally detours to laugh at silly girls who think boys want to exclude them from thing. It even makes what I guess is a joke about trans people when sniffing at the public display of everything such as a trans person going on Jerry Springer to come out as trans before telling their lover "that lady is no gentleman." Except that no lady is a gentleman according to this book, but maybe if the lady has a cock then she had a chance?
It seems to misunderstand the purpose of virtue, and instead just want to be cool like the Fonz.
It seems to misunderstand the purpose of virtue, and instead just want to be cool like the Fonz.
January 13, 2014
More a review of the literature than a manual of manners. A balanced critique/defense of the worldly virtues. My sprezzatura prevents me from saying more.
August 4, 2015
Not what I expected, but I love the research in this book. Gave me some good starting points for future research. I wish I had read it and Morte de Arthur at the same time. I enjoyed his opinions.
October 11, 2025
I first heard about this book on a podcast episode of The Catholic Gentleman where the author was a guest. I immediately ordered the book after listening to such a fantastic episode, with discussions centering much around what it means to be a compleat gentleman. This book does not disappoint, it is very well written and one can immediately tell that Mr. Miner is a highly intelligent man and extremely well read. It is honest, truthful and does not shy away from the brutal reality of modern society. Among all this, however, therein also lies hope.
December 14, 2025
Довго я тягнула цю книжку))
І не лише тому, що вона написана (чи можливо, перекладена) дуще сухо й науково)
Якось важко сприймався текст, хоча сам зміст цікавий.
Король Артур, Святий гравль, Річард Левове Серце, Саладін, хрестоносці, тамплієри та інші - це велика частина книжки та основа всього, про що автор пише потім.
Це дуже сподобалася частина про «Титанік»))
📖 Правильне залишається правильним, навіть якщо ніхто так не чинить; хибне залишається хибним, навіть якщо в цьому помиляються всі.
І не лише тому, що вона написана (чи можливо, перекладена) дуще сухо й науково)
Якось важко сприймався текст, хоча сам зміст цікавий.
Король Артур, Святий гравль, Річард Левове Серце, Саладін, хрестоносці, тамплієри та інші - це велика частина книжки та основа всього, про що автор пише потім.
Це дуже сподобалася частина про «Титанік»))
📖 Правильне залишається правильним, навіть якщо ніхто так не чинить; хибне залишається хибним, навіть якщо в цьому помиляються всі.
November 29, 2024
There is much to learn and admire in this book, but the author seems to suffer from a form of conservative Tourette syndrome. Whatever subject he is addressing, he will suddenly veer off into his obsessions with anti Fa, Black Lives Matter, and transgender athletes. He will then right himself to write again knowledgeably and wittily about his topic only later to suddenly veer briefly back to his obsessions, a bit like a mad uncle.
August 31, 2022
Some books have so much information, you need to read them twice. Such is the. Are with this title. The history and application to the modern world of ideas such as honor, chivalry, and other gentlemanly qualities is quite extensive. I had listened to it the first time and now have read it through again. The ideals presented are nothing short of solid goals a man can set for himself.
February 1, 2022
It's high bar!
I must say that i never contemplated what it was to be a true gentleman. Brad Miller has done so. I can only hope to take his writing to heart in what's left of my life.
I must say that i never contemplated what it was to be a true gentleman. Brad Miller has done so. I can only hope to take his writing to heart in what's left of my life.
August 9, 2022
A fairly good compendium on the history of chivalry and the authors musings on how it ought to be adapted to the modern day. We could all benefit from a little more of this courteous and dedicated way of living.
October 31, 2024
Did not enjoy this book. Thought it was shot-through with typical Boomer cyncism. The author somehow manages to drain every last drop of romance from the whole notion of chivalry, no mean feat. Two stars for the historical information though and many things worth following up on.
July 15, 2025
Not a perfect book, but a good book. Part history, part bio, it's a journey across etymology, concepts of gentlemanliness, manliness, love, honour, courage, etc. A gust of fresh air in a world experiencing moral decay.
April 4, 2018
A bit complicated to follow at times but overall a good book with a great deal of information regarding the history of the title of gentleman.
December 10, 2023
In need of multiple reads to truly grasp all the apparently problematic arguments and conclusions.
December 3, 2024
A must read
July 12, 2025
It should have been titled “The Compleat Thoughts on Everything I’ve Read about Gentleman and Chivalry as a White Anglo-Saxon Catholic”.
July 27, 2025
I didn’t agree with the majority of it but I also don’t disagree with some of it. I don’t recommend it.
August 28, 2025
A well thought out book that is well worth everyone’s time to read.
December 3, 2025
My boys have gotten older, so I decided to do a second reading of this book. I really enjoyed the background and history of a "chivalric gentleman".
July 6, 2021
This book is the 3rd edition, but comes with newly revised passages that address the current hypocrisies of movements seeking to strip individuals of their accomplishments in the name of “justice” and “equality.” The author details the long history of chivalry in western culture. This history is backed by numerous sources, references, and works of literature that work to not only remind American’s of the better parts of our society, but also offer a valuable reference for arguing against those who wish to destroy our culture from the inside out.
Miner acknowledged his martial arts education as a guide for writing this book, and presented himself as a true scholar. If not chivalrous himself, his pursuit to be so is akin to the quest for upholding knightly values, which define the complete gentleman as: a descendant of medieval knights and Victorian gentleman, a conservative liberal, an honorable man with self-control who knows when and why he must fight, and when and how to love.
All of the characteristics described are those which I wish for my sons. As stated in this piece of nonfiction, “A compleat gentleman is a man who tries to do what is right and honorable in any given situation. He seeks harmony with the laws of God, or nature, and of man.”
Miner acknowledged his martial arts education as a guide for writing this book, and presented himself as a true scholar. If not chivalrous himself, his pursuit to be so is akin to the quest for upholding knightly values, which define the complete gentleman as: a descendant of medieval knights and Victorian gentleman, a conservative liberal, an honorable man with self-control who knows when and why he must fight, and when and how to love.
All of the characteristics described are those which I wish for my sons. As stated in this piece of nonfiction, “A compleat gentleman is a man who tries to do what is right and honorable in any given situation. He seeks harmony with the laws of God, or nature, and of man.”
December 12, 2012
This is unique book. Miner is a good writer who traces the history of chivalry and draws upon original and morphed meanings of being a gentleman. He divides the idea into three categories: warrior, monk, lover. Each of these categories are given adequate attention and he concludes with attempts to interpret being a gentleman in the 21st century. At times, Miner gets sidetracked due to his great breadth of literature, especially medieval literature. I found myself at times moving from the book to my Amazon wish list to add certain works to my Kindle account. Nonetheless, I was refreshed by Miner's high ideals and his capable exploration of the topic.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews