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Get a Grip, Love

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A candid book that uses a mix of colloquial chat, peer and personal experience, and expert advice to talk about tackling mental illness as part of the generation so often poked fun at for having feelings – and who often call themselves out for it, too.
A record-breaking number of anti-depressants are being prescribed each year. While positive steps are being taken and we are speaking more about our problems, in this new age of having conversations about mental health, everyone and their neighbour has a ‘miracle cure’ to throw at those of us who are struggling. There’s an enormous gap in the knowledge and understanding of what depression is and isn’t – not least in that it doesn’t look the same on every person.

Exploring the science behind mental illness and its treatment, and including stories from a number of sufferers of depression and anxiety disorders, Get a Grip, Love provides a witty, razor-sharp exploration of mental health, and a no-nonsense guide that explains where the advice to ‘go for a run’, ’stay off social media’ or ‘make some new friends’ comes from. It separates the facts from the fiction about what could work, speaks openly about how it feels to live with a mental health disorder, and demonstrates that it’s ok to feel the way that we do when we’re struggling, and that we certainly don’t need to get a grip.

Funny, irreverent, and understandable, Get a Grip, Love recognises that depression sucks, but that together, we can get through it.

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Published January 7, 2021

16 people are currently reading
286 people want to read

About the author

Kate Lucey

4 books6 followers

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5 stars
67 (35%)
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76 (40%)
3 stars
36 (19%)
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9 (4%)
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
Profile Image for Fanna.
1,071 reviews523 followers
January 8, 2021
Antonymous to the title, this non-fiction wonderfully imposes and consoles with the idea that depression is real, definitely existing, and not something that would instantly vanish with the overused, inappropriate, and inconsiderate phrase — get a grip. The clear distinction made between scientific facts and the quick cures spewed by passersby is worth appreciating, especially when supported by a humorous undertone and the constant reassurance that it's completely understandable and okay to feel a certain way.

↣ an early digital copy received via netgalley but review remains uninfluenced. ↢

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Profile Image for Louise.
80 reviews10 followers
January 15, 2021
I’ve read quite a few books on mental health. This book is predominantly about depression and it is the best book I’ve read on the topic. It made me laugh. It made me cry. It made me fully choke up and viciously nod my head in agreement.
Depression is a strange thing and it is quite comforting to know you aren’t the only person having the thoughts that are in your head. So much of this felt like it was taken straight from my brain.
Would highly recommend anyone read this; particularly if you have no experience of depression yourself. It’s very insightful.

(TW note there are mentions of suicide throughout the book)
Profile Image for Ellie Parsons.
166 reviews
August 31, 2024
Out of all the books I’ve read on mental health, this was by far my favourite. Very witty but very powerful.
Profile Image for Emma Brewer.
233 reviews1 follower
September 21, 2024
Loved this one. Part personal story, part informative research, part self help. The intended audience is people with depression, but she also speaks to people looking to support their depressed friends. I was engaged from the start until the very end (the last acknowledgement hit me hard). Funny, raw, and helpful. Would recommend to anyone who knows how important mental health is and who wants to understand it a little better.
Profile Image for Hannah Rae.
239 reviews29 followers
January 19, 2021
Thank you to @hqstories and to @katelucey for the opportunity to read Get A Grip, Love.

Am loving, loving, loving this! Now, I must admit that I’m not a huge fan of self-help books, but I think I have found the one that I truly love. The fact that Lucey also mentions emo rock from the year 2003 is an instant 😍 as that is my total life aesthetic.

I love her tone, and her language throughout this, where it’s so easy to read, so chatty, and it just falls onto the page in a blasé approach of talking about something that is actually quite important and terrifying. But I think that this is what it needs. Lucey talks to you through the page, and you feel so comforted, like you’re talking over coffee with a friend. And I love it.

She does not shy away from the horrible bits of depression, she doesn’t glamorise it like the movies do, and we need this. I also couldn’t help looking at my little bottle of rescue remedy, to show my little bottle of happiness and calm, literally a lifesaver when you have those bouts of anxiety.

Would 100% recommend this, no doubt about it. Grab yourself a copy guys!
Profile Image for minaal.reads.
219 reviews19 followers
November 28, 2020
Get a Grip, Love is a truly insightful book into Kate Lucey’s experience with depression. She talks honestly about her journey taking us from her diagnosis, to telling others, to medications to where she is now. Some parts are heavy, some parts are humorous and some parts are just really, really sad. Throughout it all though, Kate Lucey is witty and honest.

Depression is an area I don’t know a lot about and thanks to Lucey’s book I feel equipped with helpful tools on how to support people in my life should they ever be diagnosed with it.

Although this book is targeted at people with depression or those who know someone with depression, I would suggest that everyone read it. After all, I didn’t fit into either of those categories and have still taken so much from it.
Profile Image for Lucy.
996 reviews15 followers
February 14, 2021
This book is a frank, honest, no frills look at living with depression. With chapter titles named after a common phrase people with depression will have heard at some point, it also offers some very witty responses to said statements!

Full of humour, whilst still maintaining sensitivity, this is a book I will be keeping in my library for future reference. It is full of great advice and covers some very interesting facts around medication, talking therapy, staying active and is an overall comforter on those harder, darker days! Definitely one for picking up if this is a relatable subject for you, but also if you just want to educate yourself!
Profile Image for Lucy Dinsmore.
61 reviews2 followers
April 21, 2025
High quality self help book with sarcasm. Listened to the audio book which made it a lot easier to digest imo. I love how she emphasizes that depression manifests differently for everyone, and not everything will work for every case. Made me feel not crazy for being depressed but also a reminder to take care of yourself and keep moving forward 🫶🏼
Profile Image for Randall Joyal.
11 reviews
June 9, 2024
It won't help, but it might help. Or it will help. It's a pretty good book either way, with a "fun" structure. My demons enjoyed it.
Profile Image for Laura .
72 reviews1 follower
November 15, 2024
I would give it 10 stars if I could 😭😭😭
Who gave this lady permission to crawl into my brain like thatttt
Profile Image for Vincent.
294 reviews2 followers
May 3, 2025
4.75 stars
🌕🌕🌕🌕🌖

🎯 Target audience
- Individuals struggling with depression or anxiety
- Readers looking for a candid take on mental health
- People who appreciate informal, engaging writing

🧠 My thoughts
This was so far the most authentic book about depression in my opinion. The author was like a dear friend who offered valuable insights about depression from her experience. Therefore, it didn’t feel preachy at all. She also gave very good methods to reply the to people who are still in denial about depression. The title said it all. The book felt like a life bouy that can help people who suffer from this disease stay afloat on bad days. It was very well-written, open-minded, fun, gripping, honest, informative, made me feel like laughing and crying at the same time. It also helped me be more compassionate toward depressed people as well as educated me on how to be there for them.

However, I felt like maybe the author wasn’t in a good state toward the end, the last chapters felt rather weak. For example, the chapter on alcohol felt rushy and shallow. It started to be repetitive and weak from then on.

👍 What I like
- Authentic, well-written, open-minded, fun, gripping, honest, informative
- Feels like a warm cup of tea in a rainy day

👎 What I don't like
- The last chapter were pretty weak, rushy and shallow
Profile Image for Gemma Harris.
117 reviews3 followers
January 6, 2021
Plot

A candid book that uses a mix of colloquial chat, peer and personal experience, and expert advice to talk about tackling mental illness as part of the generation so often poked fun at for having feelings – and who often call themselves out for it, too.

A record-breaking number of anti-depressants are being prescribed each year. While positive steps are being taken and we are speaking more about our problems, in this new age of having conversations about mental health, everyone and their neighbour has a ‘miracle cure’ to throw at those of us who are struggling. There’s an enormous gap in the knowledge and understanding of what depression is and isn’t – not least in that it doesn’t look the same on every person.

Review

For the first book of 2021 I went non-fiction with a subject close to my heart.

Kate Lucey knocks this out of the park as she explores the not so sunny world of depression. Taking a serious subject and approaching it in this way definitely made this book easier to read. As I sat glued to my kindle, every single thing resonated with me. And I also loved The Clapbacks - I will be using these in my daily life from now on!

As a sufferer from depression and its git of a best mate anxiety, I found myself agreeing, nodding and even saying out loud "oh my god that's me!" at nearly every single sentence.

Especially in these times, this book is an extremely important read and also a timely reminder that it is not a weakness to seek help if you feel like you need it.

On a personal note, I honestly wish I had read something like this when I was diagnosed six years ago. Life would have been easier.

Rating

Five Stars

Recommend

Hell yes!

This book was very kindly gifted by the publisher as part of a blog tour. All opinions are my own.
Profile Image for Shelley.
147 reviews
January 7, 2021
There is so much talk about Mental Health - and that is a good thing but sometimes it can be a little sugar coated and when you're in the depths of depression the 'help' offered can often make you feel like you're failing and that everyone else is even doing depression better than you. Kate's book is honest and forthright. It's dark at times, it's sweary, she certainly doesn't hold back from the reality of the black dog and what it can do to a person. It made me realise that although each person's depression is entirely unique to them it is also the same. The shame, the sense of failure, the feeling that no-one understands - these I think are common links. Yet for those who want to 'help' the answer seems oh so easy but it rarely is and it's incredibly helpful to have that pointed out.

If you suffer from depression (on any level - it's not a competition) then this book could help you feel a little less alone. It could help you see that you are NOT failing but that you are actually rather incredible and unique. It doesn't promise to cure you but it might just help you find a light in the tunnel and feel you're not alone.

If you haven't suffered from depression (lucky you) but you know someone who does then you need to read this book even more. It will give you a little insight as to what can go on behind the veil of depression. It will also show you that you are not failing when you try to help but that sometimes you just can't help. You just need to be there.

Thank you so much to the lovely people at HQ for inviting me to take part in this blogger day to celebrate the publication of Get a Grip, Love. Thank you Kate for having the courage to write it. This book will make a massive difference to so many people.
Profile Image for Elena.
102 reviews3 followers
January 7, 2021
This is a wonderfully written, honest and informative guide to all things mental health and the challenges it brings. The author uses her own experiences as well as those of other’s in a similar situation as hers and includes snippets of information and guidance from medical experts. It’s realistic and gives an insight into the struggling mind of someone with depression and ways you can help yourself or someone else suffering without being patronising.

She includes lots of examples of how people with mental health issues such as depression and anxiety get well-meaning advice and unhelpful comments such as ‘do more exercise’ and ‘drink less’ to ‘but you’re always so happy’ and ‘but your boyfriend/partner is so gorgeous’. There are guides as to how to respond to comments like these.

There is lots of practical advice and ways to help such as realistic self-care tips, what to expect when taking medication and the fact that it’s ok if all you managed to do was have a shower.

The author’s chatty, warm and funny writing style, coupled with her honest account of her own depression make this a superb guide for any young person struggling with their mental health. Reading the book is like having a chat with a trusted friend. No judgement, realistic ideas on how to deal with depression and humour make this an invaluable guide for millennials and I’m so happy to have read it and have also recommended it to my teenage daughter also so she may better understand herself or help those she’s close to.
Profile Image for Cheryl M-M.
1,879 reviews54 followers
January 8, 2021
Although it may not seem like it, because of the snarky and condescending tone, the title of the book is the perfect way to demonstrate certain attitudes towards mental health. If you haven't lived with a mental health issue it's often hard to comprehend how debilitating it can be. As someone with a close family member who has clinical depression I have often had to explain, defend and keep that person safe, due to the lack of understanding of others.

What Lucey does with an acerbic wit and debilitating self examination of mental health issues, is open the doors to a very closed off topic. It's not meant to be a pleasant experience or to make the reader feel better - it's supposed to inform and help give some insight into the daily battle with an all encompassing darkness.

I can't say how often I have heard common tropes used in relation to depression, which comes from a general misunderstanding of the physical and psychological torture and toil of depression. Comments and phrases that only serve to humiliate and question the person who is already going through hell, and often teetering on the brink of ending it all.

I can only recommend it. It might be very dark in places, although the snark helps and gives it a little light at times, however it is an extremely well informed piece of work. It might give a slightly different perspective on a personal battle or someone else who is going through their own daily fight with mental health issues. I can truly say it was an eye-opener for me in certain places.
*I received a courtesy copy*
Profile Image for Chantelle Hazelden.
1,470 reviews65 followers
December 18, 2020
Thank you to Netgalley and HQ stories for the ARC of Get a Grip, Love.

Having never being diagnosed with any sort of mental health issue, I guess you'd say I'm not the targeted audience for this book.

All I can tell you is that not everyone asks for help and I think we all suffer to a degree, no matter how small or insignificant we think our issues are.

What Kate manages to do is highlight that we are all allowed to feel this way. It is totally ok to have these thoughts, emotional outbursts, dark times.

Get a Grip, Love is a book that I will read again. One to look back on whenever I feel down, stressed or even fearful over things in life.

Praise for Kate Lucey!

Full review to come on publication day.
Profile Image for Jason.
1 review1 follower
November 25, 2021
Get a Grip, Love is a funny, informative, dark, but ultimately hopeful look into depression. It doesn't set out to cure, but rather give you a few more tools to help yourself and anyone around in your life that may be suffering.

Kate's distinctive writing style is very conversational and accessible. But at times still very raw and honest. This is one I'll certainly be recommending to friends.
Profile Image for Sammie Robinson.
1 review
June 8, 2023
I'm honestly so torn in how to rate this. I was tempted to put 2 stars but worried that it was a little too harsh because it isn't a bad book. I think I've just surpassed my interest in the genre of self-help books. As someone who has battled with poor mental health my entire life (I have CPTSD), I found the tips and advice to be very basic and not massively helpful to those of us who've been here for the long haul and need much more indepth help and support. I found it a chore to get through and only continued because I enjoyed the author's sense of humour. Plus, even though it's very basic advice, I suppose it is still good to revisit as we can let these little things slip away without realising sometimes. I think this book (with its humorous, attention-grabbing title - love it) could be good for people who are experiencing mild depression for the first time. A good way to try and get on top of it before it slips completely out of control and you're left permanently f**ked up like the rest of us psych patients who seem forever in and out of hospital.

PS. Therapy is absolutely life-saving... when you find both the correct form of counselling and therapist for you. As mentioned in this book, it can take a whole lot of trial and error before you find the right fit, but if you're able to access it (I did so through the brilliant Mind charity) then please give it a go. Best of luck x
Profile Image for Catherine.
20 reviews
February 15, 2021
Finally another book where someone describes exactly how it TRULY is to live with depression. Some bits were hard to read because I could see myself so clearly there but it’s reassuring to know someone else feels the same and really understands.

Not all of it was relevant to me but the parts that were, were brilliant. I’d recommend for anyone with mental health that doesn’t want a typical self help book, but a book that is relatable, funny and offers some practical help for feeling less like you want to die every day.

Profile Image for Oceanne Esparcieux.
7 reviews
April 26, 2021
I'm not usually one to read non-fiction and this is the first self-help book I've ever read. And boy am I glad I did.

Reading this felt like my cool friend giving me a thumbs up and telling me everything is going to be alright (OK, it literally was). I loved the real-life stories from the author and friends, the expert opinions, the science! I enjoyed how the dark subject was explored with humour, and I appreciated the honesty of the author. I finished this book within 2 days of picking it up, and I think I'll be a better person for reading it.

I wish I read this when I was 18.
Profile Image for Lydia Bestul.
140 reviews
August 8, 2025
The author definitely needs to stop drinking. She sounded exactly like me before I quit drinking. I found out halfway through this book that what I'm experiencing is depersonalisation, and not depression (yay) but even so I enjoyed reading this book and it helped me feel less alone with my sad girl thoughts.
Profile Image for enzoreads.
186 reviews3,147 followers
May 23, 2023
I wish I had read this book when I was struggling with my own mental health, but especially when my boyfriend was struggling with his depression a few years back. This book is a true how-to-act-with-your-depressed-love-ones bible that I think everyone should read.

Kate tells us about her own experience with irresistible wit and humor, but still strongly science-backed. And that is what I probably liked the most about the book : is that while I laughed a lot while reading it, I learnt a lot that I probably never would have learned if it wasn't for this book.

I strongly encourage anyone (depressed or not!) to read this as it is deeply educative and well-written. A big thank you to the author. It's not often that I read a book and feel changed after, but this one really did it !

5 stars.
Profile Image for Sarah.
406 reviews5 followers
May 28, 2023
This one opened up a lot of wounds and put me in a funk while at the same time making me laugh and hope. It was a roller coaster.
Profile Image for Kirsty Tyler.
82 reviews
September 6, 2024
This book was like looking into a depression mirror. It made me feel so validated and seen. As a plus Kate works in digital content creation so it almost felt like it was written for me ❤️
Profile Image for Kate Henderson.
1,601 reviews51 followers
October 19, 2020
I have read A LOT of books about mental health since being diagnosed with GAD, SAD and depression a few years ago. This book is incredibly honest and true as well as being incredibly funny and witty.

i adored Kate Lucey's writing style, it was just so easy to read and incredibly relaxed in its style. It felt like reading a magazine article, blog-post, or talking to a friend. Something that feels incredibly comforting when the subject matter can be so dark.

I loved how the book was broken up, and laid out. I really enjoyed reading!
I have already followed Kate on instagram, and I will be looking out for what Kate Lucey does next!!
945 reviews4 followers
April 7, 2021
I was surprised that I enjoyed this, especially when it was about mental health and I sometimes feel the subject is tough to read about, but this was well written.

Thank you NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest review.
Profile Image for Grace.
30 reviews
April 5, 2023
If there's a book I could force everyone in the world to read it would be this one. Every chapter nails beautifully the nuances and misconceptions of our mental health in an accessible but funny way. Please please read this!!
Profile Image for Joanna Waldron.
1 review1 follower
November 6, 2022
Learned loads from this book! A great read for both those who don’t understand depression, or those who unfortunately do ❤️
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