House of Sticks

by Ly Tran (Author/Narrator)

An intimate, beautifully written coming-of-age memoir recounting a young girl’s journey from war-torn Vietnam to Ridgewood, Queens, and her struggle to find her voice amid clashing cultural expectations.

Ly Tran is just a toddler in 1993 when she and her family immigrate from a small town along the Mekong river in Vietnam to a two-bedroom railroad apartment in Queens. Ly’s father, a former lieutenant in the South Vietnamese army, spent nearly a decade as a POW, and their resettlement is made possible through a humanitarian program run by the US government. Soon after they arrive, Ly joins her parents and three older brothers sewing ties and cummerbunds piece-meal on their living room floor to make ends meet.

As they navigate this new landscape, Ly finds herself torn between two worlds. She knows she must honor her parents’ Buddhist faith and contribute to the family livelihood, working long hours at home and eventually as a manicurist alongside her mother at a nail salon in Brownsville, Brooklyn, that her parents take over. But at school, Ly feels the mounting pressure to blend in.

A growing inability to see the blackboard presents new challenges, especially when her father forbids her from getting glasses, calling her diagnosis of poor vision a government conspiracy. His frightening temper and paranoia leave an indelible mark on Ly’s sense of self. Who is she outside of everything her family expects of her?

Told in a spare, evocative voice that, with flashes of humor, weaves together her family’s immigration experience with her own fraught and courageous coming of age, House of Sticks is a timely and powerful portrait of one girl’s struggle to reckon with her heritage and forge her own path.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Asian Literature, Asia

12 pages, Audible Audio

First published June 1, 2021

About the author

LY TRAN has received fellowships from MacDowell, Art Omi, Yaddo, and Millay Arts. House of Sticks is her first book.

Reviews

[Long Tran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hi everyone, this is Ly’s brother here.

This was worth ten stars, but since I’m mad cheap, I suppose 5 will do!

With beautiful prose and sublime descriptions of the world around her, this story embodies the transformation of a caterpillar to chrysalis to butterfly.

With the slow unfolding of its wings, the memoir is a powerful reminder that it is always darkest before dawn and that there is no triumph without struggle.

Thank you for enshrining some of our favorite childhood memories into this work of art. Although, you were probably too young to remember, I actually got caught with those toy cars in the waistline of my pants. Back then I would’ve done anything for a toy.

I’m the first brother here, not surprised. Thinh and Phu, where you at?

[Phu K. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hello Everyone,

I'm Phu K. Tran and I am the second eldest in Ly's family. This memoir was beautifully written by my sister, whom we are all very proud of and I highly recommend this book to anyone who's interested in learning more about our story.

For me, reading this memoir brings out so many raw emotions...reminiscing the past, honoring the present, and safeguarding the future. Through Ly's powerful words and literary mind, she was able to tell our family's history in such a magnificent way that I was moved to tears with every single chapter.

To me, reliving these memories is a blessing. Some may be painful, some may be pleasant and warm, and some may fill me with anger with the turns of events. Most importantly, it's given me a great sense of appreciation for my family. My parents and siblings are the pillars of my life...it is through them that shape who I am today and I will always cherish that. This is a great reminder of all the trials and tribulations that, we as a family, have gone through together.

Thank you mom & dad...
Thank you Thinh, Long, & Ly...

This memoir provides me with a perspective through the lens of my sister and I can't tell everyone how much I appreciate her for putting in these years of efforts.

I hope that everyone will enjoy reading this book and share it amongst your friends and family. Thank you.

[Mai Nguyễn · Rating 5 out of 5]

On the landscape of nail salons and her family’s sweat shop, Ly Tran paints the songs of her courage, dreams, and her fight for sanity and humanity. This is the story of a magnificent lotus who rises up from a pond of mud – the mud of poverty, racism, inherited trauma, depression – with the power and radiance of her storytelling. This is a book that demands us to look beyond just the name of each and every war refugee. This is a book that gives us light.

[Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, another win for the Vietnamese American community! House of Sticks reminded me of Phuc Tran’s Sigh, Gone , though Tran’s story is unique and she owns it with her distinct, unsentimental, yet captivating voice. In House of Sticks, she writes about immigrating to Queens, New York with her three older brothers and her parents, her father having served as a former lieutenant in the South Vietnamese army and then almost a decade as a prisoner of war. Her entire family sews ties and cummerbunds on their living room floor to pay for food, rent, and other living necessities. As Tran gets older, she is forced to navigate the clash between her unfamiliar school environment and her parents’ Buddhist faith and their impoverished circumstances. Tensions rise as Tran struggles to see and her father forbids her from getting classes, labeling her diagnosis of poor vision as a government conspiracy. In this memoir, we witness Tran navigate creating her own self-concept amidst cultural mismatches, intergenerational trauma, and mental health concerns that stem from a complicated childhood.

One of the elements I most appreciated about House of Sticks includes how Trans honors the complexity of her family dynamic. While her father behaves in ways that many would consider abusive or at the very least extremely hurtful, Tran acknowledges both the impact of his actions as well as how his trauma from the American War in Vietnam affects his parenting style and how he tries to show concern for her and her siblings. I feel like this level of nuance shows how much internal work Tran has done on herself to write with compassion both for herself and for her father. She also weaves in scenes related to gender roles and burgeoning feminist thinking in relation to her mom, as well as feelings of both camaraderie and slight abandonment with her brothers. Also, two of her brothers Long and Phuc, have left reviews of her book on Goodreads (you can find them on the first page of reviews) and they’re the cutest and most wholesome things ever.

I enjoyed the sheer realness of Tran’s story as well. A lot of people stereotype Asian Americans as economically and educationally successful and upwardly mobile, and while Tran and her siblings achieve these forms of success to a degree, Tran also writes about their family’s setbacks and her struggle with mental health. Given the quality of her writing, I found Tran a trustworthy, self-aware, and relatable narrator who I rooted for throughout this memoir. By the end of the book I felt deeply invested in her wellbeing as well as the wellbeing of her family. I’m still curious about Tran’s experience graduating from Columbia and embarking on a writing career, how her mother and father are faring and if they’re still operating their nail salon, and her brothers’ careers, hairstyles, and overall journeys as well. I think my curiosity highlights Tran’s ability to render her story in a unique and specific way while making it flow smoothly for her readers.

Overall, would highly recommend this memoir to everyone, especially those interested in coming-of-age stories. I had to put the book down a few times because some of Tran’s anecdotes reminded me of my own family in poignant ways, and I’m grateful to Tran for putting House of Sticks into the world so I and other Vietnamese/Vietnamese American folks can reflect on our shared and different experiences. Yay for 2021 ending on a high note with a memoir like this one!

[Michelle Puleio · Rating 5 out of 5]

As Ly's former teacher and now friend, there are no words for just how powerful this book is. The Ly I knew and loved was and still is the most kind, caring, loving and brilliant individual. No, I had no idea of her struggles because she only brought to class the light that she truly is. As a first year teacher, this class gave me so many wonderful children to laugh and learn with. As a veteran teacher reading this book moved me so, that it made me rethink each and every student I have encountered. Did I do enough? Did I miss something and could I have helped more? What will I now change in my upcoming classrooms to make sure each child knows they are valued and loved and in a safe place each day?

Ly's memoir is an eye-opening story that needs to be read by all, especially those in education who have huge impacts in their students' lives. Her struggles, though they seem to lead to defeat, show how strong she is as a person. She fought her way through everything and rose above it all to be who she is today. And yes, I still have the letter and am waiting for the day I can bring it to her wedding! P.S. I also have the video of her dancing the Charleston.

[Lisa Burgos · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written memoir and definitely one worth reading. The story is about immigration, generational trauma, mental health, and the struggle of forging an identity of one’s own.

[Qian Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We arrive in the blizzard of 1993, coming from rice paddies, mango trees, and the sun to February in the Empire State.”
⠀
so begins House of Sticks, a beautiful, wrenching, redemptive, and hopeful memoir that grabbed my heart and had me reading through all of Christmas Day. Ly Tran, her parents, and her three older brothers arrived in Ridgewood, Queens as refugees from Vietnam just a year before my mother and I arrived in the same city. there are, of course, many differences in our experiences, but the similarities had me crying, raging, torn as i sunk into her often poetic words.
⠀
reading this book allowed me to sit next to Ly as she played with the cockroaches in her apartment; struggle to see the blackboard alongside her as she tried to make do without the glasses she desperately needed; feel her heart break as she witnessed her mother bullied by their nail salon customers; stand beside her as the NYC subway exposed her to far too much, too early; and battle survivor’s guilt with her as, on the cusp of academic success, she struggled with leaving her parents behind.
⠀
our respective stories intersect and vary in so many ways. in the days that i needed to emerge from her book, i wondered how our childhoods and lives might have been different had we managed to find each other across this wild, expansive metropolis. and how much comfort we both might have felt had we had a book like this to keep us warm at night, to kindle our hope.
⠀
when Ly’s mother tells her in elementary school to stick to classmates who are the light, Ly posits: “But Mom, what if 𝘐'𝘮 the light?”
⠀
House of Sticks proves this to be true. Ly’s book is a gift that shines with the power of love, community, and redemption in even the darkest of times. in the words of the wise Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai, “this is a book that gives us light.”
⠀
#lytran #houseofsticks #scribner

[Beth Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free review copy from the publisher.

This was an incredible memoir. I don’t know that I have words to adequately describe this book because the story is so different from my own. And that is what I love about books like this. I get to experience in a very small way, a little of what someone else has loved for their entire life.

Ly Tran’s family immigrated to the US from Vietnam in 1993. They knew little to no English, lived in poverty (below the poverty line), worked and scraped to get by (barely so at times)...so many examples of how government systems failed them, of how hard work does not equal success, and of how our family and birth circumstances account for so much of what happens in our lives.

I read this slowly, just a few chapters most days, because it was heavy and hard at times. I skimmed a few paragraphs that were really hard to read — a luxury I have, yet she (and many others) lived. Her story also has a happy ending (or middle, I suppose, as she is still quite young). Not all stories do. My heart broke for her so many times, and I was pulling hard for her success. Her writing was compelling and evocative, personal and real.

[Shuping · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! What an exceptional book, and what an exceptional journey, what grace, what forgiveness, what compassion! I tend to be very skeptical of memoirs these days, as many of them, including those that won prizes, are often times too whiny and lacks personal accountability.

This book is different.

At times it is very difficult to continue as a reader, as some of the details are truly heart breaking: the cruelty and the weight of poverty, the physical and psychological damage parents' ignorance and rage (e.g., being kicked in the head by her father) can cause, the unique challenges immigrant families face when starting from nothing in a foreign land. This book reminds me of "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt. What is most astonishing is the author's grace and compassion toward her parents. A lifetime of damage will take a lifetime to heal; the author is very young and yet she has reached an amazing state of forgiveness that few of us mortals can reach after a lifetime of work.

I think this memoir is as good as Ashley C. Ford's "Somebody's Daughter", if not better. It is a shame that Ly Tran has not attracted the same media attention as Ms. Ford, who has been interviewed by Terry Gross on NPR, and Ms. Ford's book is included Oprah Winfrey's book club. Representation is everything.

I listened to the audio book, which is read by the author herself. Most audio books read by the authors are pretty bad, and usually professional readers do a much better job. But Ly Tran is a greater reader, her voice melodious and calm, you won't be disappointed. Read this book or listen to the audio book, it will be time and money well spent!

[Emma Deplores Goodreads Censorship · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an excellent memoir: if a bit of a traditional “young immigrant overcomes obstacles and makes good” story, there’s a reason we love that story, and this one is told well and with nuance.

Ly Tran was three years old when she moved from Vietnam to New York City with her parents and three older brothers. Her father carried a lot of trauma from his decade as a political prisoner after the end of the Vietnam War; her mother, though unhappy about losing her autonomy in their at times abusive marriage, seems incapable of breaking out of her prescribed role. The family was very poor, although also extremely resourceful and determined to make their way up in the world; all four kids prove to be academically successful to varying degrees, but have their own struggles with their family and upbringing.

From the marketing I expected this book to be mostly about immigration, cultural divides and being Asian-American, but after the early section that’s no longer the focus. It’s much more about the reality of growing up in poverty, being a bit behind in social skills, the author’s family dysfunction (from a young age her vision is terrible, but her father absolutely refuses to allow her to get glasses), and her struggles to find her own voice and deal with the guilt and depression left over from her childhood and from leaving her parents behind. When she goes to college her mental health issues come to the forefront, and for a time seem likely to derail all her dreams; this seems to be a common pattern, that kids manage to hold it together and maintain their resilience and optimism, but fall apart once they reach adulthood. That’s very much the case here, and the story of the hopeless places Tran goes and her ultimate journey back makes for affecting reading. I also just found many of the elements here, like the family’s devout Buddhism and their work in nail salons, very interesting and not something I’d read much about before.

This is a well-written book, compellingly told, and one that shows maturity in the author’s growing understanding of herself and those around her. Probably a bit fictionalized with all the dialogue, but I’m okay with a bit of creative license in memoirs since memory is a fickle thing to begin with. I read most of it in a single day, and while I’m not sure how long it will stick with me, I enjoyed and appreciated it. The short chapters and sections make it so easy to just read a little more! Overall, definitely a book I would recommend.

NOTE: It’s sweet that people in the author’s life have come out to support her with Goodreads reviews, but that risks stifling discussion of a book that’s strong enough to stand on its own! I had a moment of hesitation before reading, wondering if her family and friends would harass me if I didn’t like the book. Ah, the Internet.

[Krutika · Rating 5 out of 5]

• r e c o m m e n d a t i o n •

When you read someone's memoir it exposes a side of them that nobody else knows. There's a lot of vulnerability attached to their stories because you get to read not only about their good days but also the days when they hit rock bottom. Before I read House of Sticks, I was aware of immigrant stories but not one in such detail. When Ly Tran's family moved to the US from Vietnam back in 1993, they came with nothing. They barely had money to scrape through each day let alone to buy warm clothes to keep them from freezing. We are often told that hardwork is rewarding but it's not always the case because sometimes no matter how much blood and sweat you shed, things don't improve much. You remain where you are. House of Sticks is not Ly's story alone but is an all encompassing moving story of her family.

Ly's father was a POW before arriving in the US and it doesn't take long for us to know that he's not in the right state of mind. With a fury that overpowers everything else and acute paranoia towards the government, he refuses to give his children certain basic needs. When her mother takes up a job in a nail salon, she firsthand witnesses racism and hate towards her family. Her brothers leave the nest one after the other with relief and Ly struggles with abandonment issues. There are so many instances when I felt my heat tear because she was denied care, even when her eyesight got so bad that she couldn't see faces of those in front of her. Amidst all this, Ly still goes to college and builds a life but not before facing severe mental health issues. This memoir has a lot of trauma packed into it along with poverty and depression. But Ly also receives support from her friends and teachers most of them taking the shape of a guardian angel.

When the book ends, it's not with a heavy heart but one filled with hope and happiness. And this is what makes House on Sticks a brilliant read. Knowing Ly's life has opened up a new way in which I can now view at immigrants. I send them my love.

Rating : 4.8/5.

[Greg Barbee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had been waiting for the release of HOUSE OF STICKS since Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai recommended it late last year. It was absolutely worth the wait. In her debut book, Ly Tran details her life as an immigrant in New York. She unflinchingly recounts her and her family’s experience. Most importantly, she taps into universal themes such as family, religion, mental health, assimilation, and education. I finished reading her book several days ago, but one passage has continued to resound with me. “Gần mực thì đen, gần đèn thì sáng,” Ly’s mother reminded her and her siblings; “When you are near ink, you will be stained; when you are near the light, you will shine.” In her memoir, Ly asks, “But Mom, what if I’m the light?” Ly’s memoir leaves no doubt; her writing (created with ink, I can’t help but notice) shines. To paraphrase Portia from Merchant of Venice, “So shines a good book and person in a weary world.” In short, buy and read this book now. Ly will undoubtedly win much praise and many accolades for it, and all will be so well deserved.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Earlier this summer, I heard an interview with Tran on NPR. Her account was so moving and so insightful (I am so drawn to the way she talks about her vision). This book is just as compelling. What a generous, resilient human being. I could not put this down.

[Nursebookie · Rating 5 out of 5]

House of Sticks
By Ly Tran

House of Sticks is a timely and deeply moving memoir that resonated with me. This is an immigrant story that explores filial bonds, poverty, mental health, fitting in, in a heartbreaking and hopeful coming-of-age story.

Ly Tran's story on how her family started their life in Queens, NY from a small town in Vietnam, with a father who was a lieutenant and a POW, while also working alongside her mother as a manicurist at a nail salon in Brownsville, Brooklyn was so impactful as a child of immigrants myself. Tran's writing was beautiful, honest, and raw full of emotions. We all need to read this.

This memoir was such a magnificent read I highly recommend!

[Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5. I have mixed feelings about this memoir. I thought the first half was very moving and I felt Ly’s pain in her difficult upbringing. The descriptions of her mother’s nail salon were intense and pretty unforgettable. I had trouble with the book after Ly goes to Hunter College and her depression and difficulties were overpowering.I felt the book left lots of things unexplained and didn’t seem as strong in the second half.

[Cher 'N Books · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars = Meh. Just ok.

“I hated that it did give her power over us. That money was power in this world and we would never be powerful.”

I hate that I did not love this as much as everyone else, but I certainly would not discourage others from reading it. A lot of readers shy away from rating memoirs because they see it as judging that person’s life. For me that is nonsensical, as I rate a book based on my reading experience, not on the person whose life it entails. I have rated memoirs higher despite finding the subject to be unlikeable and such as in this case, rated some lower even though I found the subject to be inspirational. But I’m not rating Ly Tran or her life here, I’m rating the book.

It covers her family’s immigrant experience as they moved from Vietnam to the USA after the American Vietnam war, showcasing the struggles they went through and overcame. It also covers complex family dynamics, especially when complicated by culture clashes between generations. I normally enjoy these types of books more than I did here.

Unfortunately, this was not a great match for my personal reading tastes. The first half of the book covers her elementary, middle and high school years. While certainly formative and important to her life, it was hard for me to be interested in eraser collections and other childhood struggles, even when they were relatable. It ends with her still in her early 20’s - a life well lived thus far and certainly one to be proud of, though not much of a life yet in years or major experiences.

Had it instead been a lengthy essay I probably would have loved it, but as is, it felt long, slow, and as though too little material was stretched out to cover far too many pages. I was looking forward to moving on to my next read long before I finished the book and for that the lower rating is warranted. I would however recommend it to people interested in the Asian immigrant experience who do not mind a heavy focus on childhood years with a slow narrative. Personally, I prefer memoirs that are meatier with profound prose.

“In a way, I suppose that was the American dream, buying more than one could afford and dealing with the repercussions later.”
-----
First Sentence: We arrive in the blizzard of 1993, coming from rice paddies, mango trees, and the sun to February in the Empire State.

Favorite Quote: As I grew older I would come to understand that these were the same shackles that had kept my father imprisoned for nearly a decade of misery and despair, and that, from the very beginning, we were all haunted by the ghosts of my father’s past.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

This powerful memoir by Ly Tran relates her experiences as an immigrant to the United States from Vietnam, with her parents and three brothers, in 1993. Her father had been a soldier in the South Vietnamese army and, when the war ended, was sent to a “camp” for reeducation by the Viet Cong victors. A few years became almost ten of torture and deprivation. But he survived. After his release he met and married Ly’s mother and they built their family. Life was difficult because they were considered traitors. When they learned of a resettlement program in the U.S., they decided to go and ultimately landed in New York City, in the neighborhood of Ridgewood. From here the future begins.

Ly is the youngest and, as the only girl, finds family expectations difficult. Her family is of Chinese background relocated to Vietnam so her heritage is mixed. The family follows Buddhist traditions but her father remains scarred by his prison experience which can leaves him with nightmares, abrupt and angry behavior at times, and an overwhelming need to survive and do well in his new country. His wife and children are all affected by this behavior, perhaps most of all Ly, who remains at home the longest, is expected to assist her mother as well as do well in school. When real life interferes with the hoped for dream, Ly has difficulty in all parts of her life. House of Sticks is the story of a downward spiral and then her rebuilding story.

This is at times a difficult story but I found it gave me new insights on the immigrant experience from a very different view point . I do recommend it.

I received an ebook arc of House of Sticks through Goodreads Giveaways.

[Anna P (whatIreallyRead) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir describes the experience of a family that immigrated from Vietnam to the US a decade after the war. Ly Tran was a little girl at the time, so we get to see her grow up and begin reckoning with the tough circumstances of her upbringing and the failings of her parents.

Her parents didn't know English and didn't have any money, so couldn't find employment and struggled to survive. All their children had to work for many hours every day just to buy food for the family. Ly, being the only girl got a very different treatment than her brothers. She bore the brunt of housework, was discouraged from studying, and was generally treated so unfairly that my blood boiled reading about it. Her stupid unreasonable father refused to buy her glasses because of conspiracy theories, so having low vision she struggled for a decade (!!!!!) to learn at school and later just navigating the street. It's just so hard to read about a kid who was put through this for no good reason at all!!!!! Her mom was no better, not telling her about menstruation, then laughing when she got her first period and got scared something was wrong with her health. Then the myth she tells her daughter about the female hell every woman goes to because she's unclean because of menstruation... I MEAN COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apparently, religions vary in many things but not in misogyny.

The combination of traditionalist patriarchal bullshit that made Ly's life harder for now reason, and the objective struggles of an immigrant family slowly fitting into a new society put enormous pressure on Ly. She excels in school and goes to a prestigious university, but then depression hits and she's adrift. It was very uplifting to read about how many women helped her get back on her feet and find her way.

This book was surprisingly similar to the second half of How Dare the Sun Rise: Memoirs of a War Child given the author's backgrounds are so different.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In straightforward, poignant prose, Ly Tran recounts the trials and travails of growing up in a Vietnamese-American immigrant family in Queens teetering on the edge of mental, emotional, and physical collapse from poverty, a condition exacerbated by her father's unrelenting PTSD occasioned by his 10 years of cruel imprisonment at the hands of the new Communist Vietnamese regime. Hers is a measured, frank, and very often heartbreaking voice in the face of misunderstandings, humiliations, and disappointments as she and her siblings strive for acculturation and acceptance in a too-often inhospitable urban environment. There is no rest for the weary Tran siblings, particularly Ly, who is unremittingly expected to excel in school while hanging by a thread economically and putting in long, tedious hours in the family nail salon, all the while being denied for decades the eyeglasses she desperately needs for her nearsightedness, since her parents scoff that she is a faker, sucked in solely by an acquired sense of American acquisitiveness to want approval by sporting "cool" spectacles. (Profoundly myopic myself, this resonated with me more than any other of her unfairly unmitigated crosses to bear.) The author is generous with her inclusion of the many "points of light" along the way that eventually helped her find much-deserved success in life and love, and her lifelong battle with depression is also movingly portrayed. In the course of her story, Ly's familial bonds go from clinging, to frayed, to tenderly appraised and appreciated, and her coming of age, from seed to glorious flower, is a joy to behold. A life worth living, and definitely worth sharing with the world. A+++

[Mainlinebooker · Rating 5 out of 5]

An unflinching reminder of the courage and resilience of immigrant families but also the high parental expectations that are initiated from wanting a better life for their children. At many points heartbreaking incidents that Ly had to deal with just made me shake my head and wonder how does filial piety balance the needs of the individual. Simple .writing but a devastating story,.

[Hilary (Melted Books) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful and emotionally vivid. I was mesmerized by this memoir. Not only is Ly Tran's writing captivating, but her story is full of such vulnerability and honesty that I couldn't help but become instantly absorbed in her book. I recommend this if you are interested in the intersections between financial hardship, mental health, and the immigrant experience in America. Content warnings included in spoiler section.
Content warnings for depression, sexual assault, post-traumatic stress disorder, (mention of) verbal and domestic abuse, and description of a surgical procedure.
____
Thank you, Scribner, for sending me a copy for review.

[Kayleigh Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this audiobook and it was the epitome of good storytelling! The novel opened my eyes to what the American dream might mean for an immigrant in North America. I thoroughly enjoyed Ly’s engaging voice and my heart broke for her as she struggled with her mental well-being. I can’t imagine experience all her family went through! This has been one of my favourite books to listen to in a long long time!

[Lolly K Dandeneau · Rating 4 out of 5]

via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog.wordpress.com/
𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟑, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞.

Ly Tran has written an incredibly moving memoir about her family’s move from war-torn Vietnam to a neighborhood in Queens, New York. The sickness from turbulence and three weeks of travel they endured was a precursor to the culture shock of their new lives in America. At three years old, Ly Tran was “vaguely conscious of the world around me”. As the youngest of four children, her memories of the journey and her homeland are fragmented, gaps filled in by her parents and older siblings alongside flashes of feelings. For her, adjusting to their new reality is easier, the past soon fading. In time, she is torn between two cultures, two worlds. Her family lived along the Mekong river, one can imagine the alien feeling, the rupture of leaving nature and all it’s glorious colors, rhythms for the hustle and bustle of a gritty, gray, American city. Before they are even settled, the family is in debt to their sponsor. With a language barrier alone, despite being a former lieutenant in the South Vietnamese army (and a POW for a decade), jobs that can support their family of six aren’t easy to attain. To ‘make ends meet’, Ly and her siblings help their parents with sewing, forming their own little production line on the living room floor of their two-bedroom railroad apartment. Unlike other American children, there isn’t time for play, delicious candy and tv binging. In the Buddhist tradition, one honors parents and family above all else, but as the years pass and Ly struggles at school, honoring thy father isn’t such an easy faith to follow.

Grateful for their place in this new world, though awake to harsh realities, Ly’s parents cling to their faith and work ethics. They know they will be okay, despite the mountains of obstacles before them. Life tests them, people deceive, take advantage, threaten. Carrying fear in his heart from the horrors he left behind, Ly’s father doesn’t want to make waves, stand out. The children come up with American names for each other, proudly, but is that enough to make roots in this new land? Their father’s fears manifest in strange behaviors and irrational decisions exacerbating Ly’s school struggles. Worse, her parents demands that, like her brothers before her, she leave behind a legacy of academic excellence make her feel anxious. It is not so easy when socially awkward, and struggling with vision issues! When she speaks her truth, that she cannot see well enough in school to learn math, her father’s reaction isn’t the fatherly wisdom she was hoping for. Maybe she really is just stupid, maybe glasses are a government conspiracy, but his truth clashes with her own reality. Despite his rants, she cannot see, it’s a stubborn fact one cannot ignore and here she is meant to swallow her truth. This is just one of many impenetrable walls she will face within her family.

Nothing beats elevating one’s place in life, no matter the hours of toil it takes. Why else did her parents bring their children to this country, if not to earn a full education, the only ladder to that high place in life? But in this land of dreams, for girls, sometimes there are violations. When one learns to endure, sometimes they learn to submit when they should fight. Watching her mother humiliated when working as a manicurist at a Brooklyn salon puts a bitter seed in Ly’s soul. Ly often works beside her, and yet this becomes just another place her mother refuses to stand up for herself, just like in the family home when facing Ly’s irrational father. Love and resentment, her father’s overbearing will makes home hell. Things get worse when a helpful teacher gets involved, threatening their House of Sticks.

Ly’s coming of age is an intimate look at trying to fit in while trapped between two cultures. Her guilt for feeling ashamed and perplexed by her odd father. Feeling abandoned by her larger than life brothers, her mother’s acceptance of the ugly world both infuriating and confusing. Confusing because she longs to protect her. Wanting to just be a normal American girl, not feeling like a failure who can’t live up to her father’s expectations. It is an intimate window into loyalty, faith, family and the inheritance the brutality of war leaves for the next generation. It takes years for Ly to come to terms with her father’s fragility, to understand why her mother more often than not sides with her husband, despite the cost. Becoming American doesn’t erase her father’s years of suffering, imprisonment, labor, indoctrination while forced into a “re-education camp”. From a place of freedom, how can Ly fully comprehend everything her mother and father had been through, had given up to provide their children with a better future? In turn, how can they understand the weight their daughter carries in her heart searching for a place for herself, trying to feel like an American with the traditions of the culture they left behind shadowing her every move? A place where she is a dutiful daughter but also a free person, able to use her voice, speak her truth and create a future that feels right for her?

There are funny moments and harsh ones. It is a heavy duty, one’s heritage. Can she honor the past, and yet build her own future, free of the hooks of familial expectations? An emotional journey and a beautiful memoir. Add it to your summer reading list!

Publication Date: June 1, 2021

Scribner

[Hoang Chi Truong · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclosure: Thanks to the generosity of the author and publisher for my ARC of House of Sticks. This is my genuine review as a reader and a Vietnamese American refugee in 1975.

It would be naive to believe that being a Vietnamese refugee means that we'd understand our fellow refugees and their experiences. Far from it, and having read the House of Sticks, it opened my eyes. It allowed me to examine Ly Tran's family and her upbringing in Vietnam, how and when they fled communism, and the continuing hardship and challenges as she and her family navigated the puzzling and strange landscape of life in America.

My heart breaks for young Ly as she pleaded with her father for prescription glasses and her many self-preservation tricks as her father repeated refusal. The author endured so much hardship that in childhood, coming of age, and early adulthood, one cannot help but root for her. As a fellow Vietnamese refugee, I understood and had many chuckles at her observations and interactions with the American culture and people.

Although I understood something about her father, mother, siblings, I can mainly identify with the author and how as children, we'd continue to suppress our individual needs for the good of the family out of filial respect and duties as a child, even at high costs and detriments to ourselves. My heart also aches for her mother's role in the family dynamics, bridging the chasm of patriarchal structure, attempting to smooth the feuds as best she could.

The stage of her life during the nail salon experience struck me the hardest. I've sometimes visited Vietnamese nail salons, but I must admit that I've always felt uncomfortable that they could easily have been my sisters, aunties, or mom. I've always wondered about their lives, stories, and families they were supporting through this job.

There is no pretense, gloss, or political agenda in the House of Sticks. The memoir reads innocently in the early stages and more darkly as in early adulthood. But through it all, the author shared her stories as though she was confiding to a friend.

To understand the refugee and immigrant experience, read the House of Sticks. Ly Tran's eloquent and honest storytelling will allow readers a glimpse into what it means to start from nothing and claw your way back into a new society. Now more than ever, with the increasing anti-Asian American sentiment, I implore readers to pick up this gem and walk in the shoes of those who want the same thing everyone wants: a life in peace to work, feed, clothe, and send their children to school without persecution or harassment.

[Anita Kushwaha · Rating 4 out of 5]

It takes courage to write a memoir like this one. The author writes beautifully and with candour about her experiences as a daughter of immigrants and her turbulent relationship with her parents. As a daughter of immigrants myself, so much of what she has written rings true for me as well, the cultural expectations in particular. Her honest journey toward forgiveness and healing is authentic and offers healing to those who have found themselves in similar circumstances. A wonderful book. I'm glad I read it.

[Zach Strassburger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Engrossing memoir about life as a refugee from Vietnam and growing up in poverty in NYC. Ly’s father has ptsd and is afraid of what he does not understand. As a result, Ly suffers for years without needed glasses.
I resented my family when they wanted attention as I was reading this memoir. Eventually I dropped all my other responsibilities and simply read.

[Candie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook- read by the author who did a wonderful job.
If you liked Education- this is in the same vein only from the immigrant’s perspective. Way better book. What a determined , strong woman Ly Tran is ❤️

[Shereena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Note: I received an ARC of this book through Goodreads Giveaways in exchange for an honest review.

House of Sticks: A Memoir is a beautiful yet heart-breaking story about Ly Tran and her family’s immigration from South Vietnam in 1993. Her family arrives in New York and both parents struggle to build a life for themselves and their children. The book begins by describing their immigration and the struggles they faced during those first few years. The book then takes you through key events and experiences Ly had as a youth, through high school, and then into her college years.

I found this book to be written in eloquent prose, in such a way as not to elicit emotional response through words but rather through experiences she endured. Her words are written in more of a factual manner, yet her story at times is quite sad. This book opened my eyes to the effects immigrant children often face while navigating two cultures simultaneously (particularly around the expectations that come from both). I found this valuable as a teacher because it allowed me to see this experience from a first-hand perspective. Ly’s story also demonstrates the value her family placed on parental obedience and the extent to which she would go to uphold this duty.

There were many aspect’s of Ly’s story which, to me, demonstrated the importance of educating children outside of standard subjects/topics. For example, the importance of teaching emotional intelligence, sex education (i.e. what is and is not appropriate and how to speak up if something bad happens to you), and allowing students to have social experiences through adolescence (so they can learn how to navigate those situations). Ly’s story also highlights the stifling effects of what I interpreted to be imposter syndrome - which she first seems to encounter in high school but becomes much more debilitating in college.

While reading this book, I was at times lost on dates and specific years that different events occurred. It would have been helpful to know her and her siblings birth years as well. I often found that specific years and dates were not included and this made it difficult to process Ly’s story in the greater context of what might have been happening in the United States at that time. For most of the book she mentions that she and her siblings slept on straw mats but later describes it as a straw mat on top of a mattress (was the mattress added later on?). I also would have liked to hear more about Joseph. She speaks of him quite a bit when he is introduced, however there is a section of chapters following this that provide no mention of him. I started to wonder for a while if he had disappeared from her life or if their relationship had changed.

Overall, I loved this book. It was very hard to put down. Although her story is quite sad (and I honestly cannot process the fact that she went so long without corrective lenses (I am not sure how I would have handled this)) I am really glad that she wrote this book to share it with the world.

[lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although I didn't think this book was that interesting, I also couldn't put it down. Ly Tran writes well about her life as an immigrant from Vietnam, growing up in New York City with her parents and her brothers. Her father suffers from PTSD due to his years in reeducation prison, but is determined to make a new life for his family in a strange land. Ly and her brothers are extremely smart and hardworking, and use every opportunity to get their education and earn better jobs than sewing ties and cummerbunds and painting nails at cheap salons. However, Ly struggles with her vision, and depression, and has trouble living up to the expectations of her family.

In terms of books written about immigrants, this one fell in the middle. A lot of the stories were very anecdotal, and each one felt like a small separate essay, so I had trouble figuring out exactly who Ly's parents were, and exactly how her teachers and therapists let her sink, and rise according to strange whims. (I was also horrified at the way her psychiatrist treated her, and I couldn't believe it was something everyone just brushed off.) Fresh Off the Boat by Eddie Huang and Almost American Girl by Robin Ha were better biographies of young people caught between their Asian cultures, and their new American lives. This book was fine, but it didn't have a spirit or a fire to it. The story told the facts, which were interesting, but there was nothing to make me remember this story, as important as it is.

[Hana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is really something! So delightfully written and full of emotions that you can sense in every single line. Many times I felt the urge to hug the author, to help her overcome the struggles in her life, I smiled with her when she made some achievements and I also cried. It doesn't happen to me very often when reading a book. But this one is so touching that you wonder how these things could happen only to one person. Definitely worth a read and hope there will be more books from Ly Tran!