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Feyd
After fleeing his hometown of Graylan, Michigan, Rodrick Stone wants nothing more than to forsake his violent past and start over. However, just as circumstances improve, troubling news emerges to beckon him home. Only now, things are different, and not in a good way. What starts as strange dreams and random blackouts quickly spirals into a paranormal world from which his soul has no escape--and he isn't the only victim. Struggling to make amends with his father while battling demons inside and out, it's up to Rodrick and some unlikely allies to put an end to the evil before they too fall victim to their own nightmares.
- GenresMental HealthThriller
430 pages, Paperback
Published October 17, 2020
10 people are currently reading
133 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
September 18, 2021
didn’t want to stop reading
Took me less than 2 days to finish and I spent every second of free time reading. Captures the grip of anxiety and depression beautifully.
Took me less than 2 days to finish and I spent every second of free time reading. Captures the grip of anxiety and depression beautifully.
May 6, 2024
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!
I will start my review with some information about myself and the things I enjoyed about the book. My comments will be mostly critiques, since its the only way I can justify ⅗ stars to myself. I know this is their first novel, and independently published at that! I don’t want a poor-seeming review to be damning. That being said, despite my surface level enjoyment, I have some strong opinions to share in hopes that Darkly will only continue to improve! I know they have several newer books as well, so maybe some of my opinions will change when I read more of those.
I have been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder and PTSD for around seven years now. The journey of figuring out one’s own mind, let alone a mind they share with other entities created from trauma, is a harrowing one. The genre of horror is an amazing way to explore the human psyche in an uncensored and raw way. This book does just that! Roderick is our hot-tempered protagonist that gets himself tossed into a world of terror. Every single one of the scenes that had shit hit the fan truly made my skin crawl. I enjoyed his snarky perspective and hard working attitude.
The writing style itself left much to be desired. It's very to the point. I despise books that tell me everything about a character, only for them to not follow through with actions. Play with the language a bit! Really engross me in the scenes! The few times I felt something strong were during those aforementioned horror scenes. Heck, the unwilling residents of Feyd are mentioned only when relevant for making the scene feel occupied by a crowd. They’re just as easily forgotten when not relevant. We clearly only care about the named characters and what they’re doing. (I will go more into this in the next paragraph, but my assumption is that moments like these can be chalked up to personal experience overshadowing the narrative. Are the Feydlings just fragments? EPs?) On this topic of writing style, it can be mentioned that some scenes are sped up when I feel they should have been elaborated upon and vice versa. The biggest example of this is Rod’s relationship with Jenny. I get that they are childhood friends. There are not enough interactions between them to give me, as an audience member, the level of emotional intimacy they share for one another. I wish some of the pages used to describe Rod’s stress cleaning were instead used to give me more examples of their time spent together over several months. I first thought Jenny was going to be a suspicious character from how fast he started hitting on Rod. He just got out of an abusive situation. I know, I know, months passed. I did not feel it.
This is a story about mental health, but it unintentionally is a representation of the dissociative experience. I say “unintentionally” because it is my understanding that the author was in the process of figuring out they had a dissociative disorder over the course of writing this book. This story is from the perspective of Roderick, a member of their system (though, from their own words, a bit different from Book Roderick). I cannot tell where the author’s real trauma starts and where the protagonist's experiences end. It truly feels like a representation of their trauma, which can be great for an artist. In my opinion, it left the story feeling incomplete. There were so many instances where, in a fully fictionalized horror novel, the protagonist would have gained something from the constant retraumatization by his father. Maybe he would finally stand up to him, or find something that makes him relate to him. He starts (from when he returns home) and ends with the same amount of sympathy for that man. In this book, it was worded as if these were normal interactions. Obviously they affected Rod, he had negative reactions like anyone would in his situation. There was no catharsis. At the end of the day, all of the traumatizing was chalked up to the Big Bad possessing him all along. This feels like a lazy wrap up, especially when I see the Wicker Man’s conclusion being lackluster for horror, but brilliant as a metaphor for dealing with an intense persecutor! Perhaps I am assuming, but maybe these interactions with such a volatile guardian hit a little too close to home for the author to write about them at that time. Where I was hoping for catharsis or growth, I received second hand trauma as I was dragged through the experience of having to deal with an abusive family member who begrudgingly needs help. I did not feel Rod’s feeling of “being the bigger person” every time he was verbally abused then decided to handle that by cleaning. These moments were diagnosably painful to go through, and it's like the author brushed over them as if they were expected. I can only assume it's because some of these personal elements of their real life trauma are still being processed. I love unreliable narrators. They make for some amazing stories, and phenomenal reveals if done right! Rod is an unreliable narrator in a way that I am an unreliable narrator in my own journal entries. You see the cause of the terror, the symptoms of the terror, and wish you could warn them of the danger ahead. If these elements were intentional, they would add to the story. I kept asking, “What is the goal here by showing me this?”
I wish A.C. Darkly had either gone full hog with the dissociative experience in this book, or dropped the idea entirely of these characters being related to mental health reactions. This is not something that was made obvious. As someone with PTSD, I can see how some of these characters were representative of the mental health journey. I know in my earlier sentiments I expressed how much I didn’t care for the deeply personal aspects I felt were bleeding through the plot. Again, that’s only because some instances were limited by a lack of larger perspective. When it came to Graves, Ilia, Leono, Marty, Ash, and Sandbag, I wish they had gotten even deeper. I only clocked them as an anthropomorphization for mental health symptoms because of the research I did ahead of time. Perhaps it was more apparent before the dissociative disorder revelation happened. I am far more inclined to see them as alters in the same system as Rodrick. I could see how each of them could be formed from the tidbits of Rod’s childhood and abuse we see. I say this because they feel more fleshed out in relation to Rod, not in their own experiences. It may take another reread to see them as I am supposed to.
Onto the next critique. If the author reads this review and takes anything away from it, I hope it is this paragraph right here. The character of Ash made me deeply uncomfortable. I am not sure if she is purely fictionalized, or based on someone from Darkly’s system. This affects my opinion, but does not change the overall outcome. For the sake of the rest of my thoughts, I will assume this is a completely fictional character. The author, via Rod, points out at least four times that Ash is brown and a masculine looking transgender woman. Considering Ash only appears in five or six scenes, this is so startling. It’s like the author wanted to prove how diverse of a writer they were and doubled down on making Ash capital B Black. Ash’s AAVE and behavior are incredibly stereotypical. Don’t get me wrong, people do exist in the world who are like this, and this is not meant to be interpreted as hatred for that reality. But, in a story, when this is the only representation of a POC in the LBGT+ community, it comes off as a token for these marginalized groups. (Yes, Rod and Jenny are queer men, but the cis, white male experience is far from a transgender POC experience.) From the SJSU Website on token BIPOC or LGBT+ characters:
The author described Ash as “the healthy distractions one attempts while coping with mental illness”. She is a combination of the modern “gay best friend” and perhaps the dreaded Mammy trope (though I think she is more aptly a “Sapphire” trope). She may need some minor changes to the way her character is depicted, but it's the total lack of any other POC to compare her to that makes her stand out so starkly.
TLDR; My thoughts and words are muddled, but I can conclude it by summarizing my main points. Horror is a wonderful vehicle for mental illness stories. They need to be grounded in reality, often from personal experience, but separate enough from unprocessed trauma. The lack of this makes a story too narrow to land the big themes it’s tackling. Finally, please evaluate how a marginalized person is presented in fiction. If they are stereotypical, add in other characters to prevent tokenization. The world is fascinating and the love put into this book is tangible. The plot was a bit hiccuped by elongated, unnecessary scenes and shortened scenes of importance. If you have made it through my long winded review and think I dislike this book, you are mistaken! I did like it for what it was trying to do and was entertained enough to want to finish it. I think the potential here is too good to leave it without how I think it could be improved.
I will start my review with some information about myself and the things I enjoyed about the book. My comments will be mostly critiques, since its the only way I can justify ⅗ stars to myself. I know this is their first novel, and independently published at that! I don’t want a poor-seeming review to be damning. That being said, despite my surface level enjoyment, I have some strong opinions to share in hopes that Darkly will only continue to improve! I know they have several newer books as well, so maybe some of my opinions will change when I read more of those.
I have been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder and PTSD for around seven years now. The journey of figuring out one’s own mind, let alone a mind they share with other entities created from trauma, is a harrowing one. The genre of horror is an amazing way to explore the human psyche in an uncensored and raw way. This book does just that! Roderick is our hot-tempered protagonist that gets himself tossed into a world of terror. Every single one of the scenes that had shit hit the fan truly made my skin crawl. I enjoyed his snarky perspective and hard working attitude.
The writing style itself left much to be desired. It's very to the point. I despise books that tell me everything about a character, only for them to not follow through with actions. Play with the language a bit! Really engross me in the scenes! The few times I felt something strong were during those aforementioned horror scenes. Heck, the unwilling residents of Feyd are mentioned only when relevant for making the scene feel occupied by a crowd. They’re just as easily forgotten when not relevant. We clearly only care about the named characters and what they’re doing. (I will go more into this in the next paragraph, but my assumption is that moments like these can be chalked up to personal experience overshadowing the narrative. Are the Feydlings just fragments? EPs?) On this topic of writing style, it can be mentioned that some scenes are sped up when I feel they should have been elaborated upon and vice versa. The biggest example of this is Rod’s relationship with Jenny. I get that they are childhood friends. There are not enough interactions between them to give me, as an audience member, the level of emotional intimacy they share for one another. I wish some of the pages used to describe Rod’s stress cleaning were instead used to give me more examples of their time spent together over several months. I first thought Jenny was going to be a suspicious character from how fast he started hitting on Rod. He just got out of an abusive situation. I know, I know, months passed. I did not feel it.
This is a story about mental health, but it unintentionally is a representation of the dissociative experience. I say “unintentionally” because it is my understanding that the author was in the process of figuring out they had a dissociative disorder over the course of writing this book. This story is from the perspective of Roderick, a member of their system (though, from their own words, a bit different from Book Roderick). I cannot tell where the author’s real trauma starts and where the protagonist's experiences end. It truly feels like a representation of their trauma, which can be great for an artist. In my opinion, it left the story feeling incomplete. There were so many instances where, in a fully fictionalized horror novel, the protagonist would have gained something from the constant retraumatization by his father. Maybe he would finally stand up to him, or find something that makes him relate to him. He starts (from when he returns home) and ends with the same amount of sympathy for that man. In this book, it was worded as if these were normal interactions. Obviously they affected Rod, he had negative reactions like anyone would in his situation. There was no catharsis. At the end of the day, all of the traumatizing was chalked up to the Big Bad possessing him all along. This feels like a lazy wrap up, especially when I see the Wicker Man’s conclusion being lackluster for horror, but brilliant as a metaphor for dealing with an intense persecutor! Perhaps I am assuming, but maybe these interactions with such a volatile guardian hit a little too close to home for the author to write about them at that time. Where I was hoping for catharsis or growth, I received second hand trauma as I was dragged through the experience of having to deal with an abusive family member who begrudgingly needs help. I did not feel Rod’s feeling of “being the bigger person” every time he was verbally abused then decided to handle that by cleaning. These moments were diagnosably painful to go through, and it's like the author brushed over them as if they were expected. I can only assume it's because some of these personal elements of their real life trauma are still being processed. I love unreliable narrators. They make for some amazing stories, and phenomenal reveals if done right! Rod is an unreliable narrator in a way that I am an unreliable narrator in my own journal entries. You see the cause of the terror, the symptoms of the terror, and wish you could warn them of the danger ahead. If these elements were intentional, they would add to the story. I kept asking, “What is the goal here by showing me this?”
I wish A.C. Darkly had either gone full hog with the dissociative experience in this book, or dropped the idea entirely of these characters being related to mental health reactions. This is not something that was made obvious. As someone with PTSD, I can see how some of these characters were representative of the mental health journey. I know in my earlier sentiments I expressed how much I didn’t care for the deeply personal aspects I felt were bleeding through the plot. Again, that’s only because some instances were limited by a lack of larger perspective. When it came to Graves, Ilia, Leono, Marty, Ash, and Sandbag, I wish they had gotten even deeper. I only clocked them as an anthropomorphization for mental health symptoms because of the research I did ahead of time. Perhaps it was more apparent before the dissociative disorder revelation happened. I am far more inclined to see them as alters in the same system as Rodrick. I could see how each of them could be formed from the tidbits of Rod’s childhood and abuse we see. I say this because they feel more fleshed out in relation to Rod, not in their own experiences. It may take another reread to see them as I am supposed to.
Onto the next critique. If the author reads this review and takes anything away from it, I hope it is this paragraph right here. The character of Ash made me deeply uncomfortable. I am not sure if she is purely fictionalized, or based on someone from Darkly’s system. This affects my opinion, but does not change the overall outcome. For the sake of the rest of my thoughts, I will assume this is a completely fictional character. The author, via Rod, points out at least four times that Ash is brown and a masculine looking transgender woman. Considering Ash only appears in five or six scenes, this is so startling. It’s like the author wanted to prove how diverse of a writer they were and doubled down on making Ash capital B Black. Ash’s AAVE and behavior are incredibly stereotypical. Don’t get me wrong, people do exist in the world who are like this, and this is not meant to be interpreted as hatred for that reality. But, in a story, when this is the only representation of a POC in the LBGT+ community, it comes off as a token for these marginalized groups. (Yes, Rod and Jenny are queer men, but the cis, white male experience is far from a transgender POC experience.) From the SJSU Website on token BIPOC or LGBT+ characters:
“These characters lack a personality outside of their cultural identity or LGBTQ+ sexuality and/or gender. Examples can include the ‘Black best friend’ trope, where the character embodies all the stereotypes associated with Black individuals and exists only to support the white protagonist. Teen movies and rom-coms alike feature a peppy blond protagonist and her supportive Black friend, who exists to give advice and tell jokes. Similarly, the “gay best friend” trope generally features a gay man who acts as a sassy companion to the female protagonist and has no complexity outside of his stereotypical traits.”
The author described Ash as “the healthy distractions one attempts while coping with mental illness”. She is a combination of the modern “gay best friend” and perhaps the dreaded Mammy trope (though I think she is more aptly a “Sapphire” trope). She may need some minor changes to the way her character is depicted, but it's the total lack of any other POC to compare her to that makes her stand out so starkly.
TLDR; My thoughts and words are muddled, but I can conclude it by summarizing my main points. Horror is a wonderful vehicle for mental illness stories. They need to be grounded in reality, often from personal experience, but separate enough from unprocessed trauma. The lack of this makes a story too narrow to land the big themes it’s tackling. Finally, please evaluate how a marginalized person is presented in fiction. If they are stereotypical, add in other characters to prevent tokenization. The world is fascinating and the love put into this book is tangible. The plot was a bit hiccuped by elongated, unnecessary scenes and shortened scenes of importance. If you have made it through my long winded review and think I dislike this book, you are mistaken! I did like it for what it was trying to do and was entertained enough to want to finish it. I think the potential here is too good to leave it without how I think it could be improved.
September 19, 2025
FEYD is unlike anything fantasy I've read before, and it so hauntingly delicious I devoured every bit of it. I can't get enough of Rodrick, my newfound hero. I want more.
August 7, 2022
solid read. read it in a few days, but this can also easily be read in one day. didn't have to "struggle through it" at any point. well-crafted story line, good plot twists. very original ideas, have never read anything like this before (seriously enjoyed the epilogue!).
however, not my favourite writing style. rather simplistic and literal, but on the upside of that, there weren't any dry or boring passages and it thus makes for a rather light read (not talking about the content here).
borders more on the informal side. some dialog is in all caps, full italics, or both, making it all quite exclamatory. some noises are fully written out in letters, which, until you have figured out in what way to read them, can sometimes be slightly confusing.
sprinkled with a few peculiar metaphors, which, however, fit the overall vibe and atmosphere of the book, so i guess they work.
don't regret reading this, but doubt i will read it again.
considering that this, as i understand it, is the author's debut book though, i earnestly have to say that this is an impressive achievement.
would read the sequel if it ever came out (or prequel for that matter).
am also quite obsessed with the cover design.
however, not my favourite writing style. rather simplistic and literal, but on the upside of that, there weren't any dry or boring passages and it thus makes for a rather light read (not talking about the content here).
borders more on the informal side. some dialog is in all caps, full italics, or both, making it all quite exclamatory. some noises are fully written out in letters, which, until you have figured out in what way to read them, can sometimes be slightly confusing.
sprinkled with a few peculiar metaphors, which, however, fit the overall vibe and atmosphere of the book, so i guess they work.
don't regret reading this, but doubt i will read it again.
considering that this, as i understand it, is the author's debut book though, i earnestly have to say that this is an impressive achievement.
would read the sequel if it ever came out (or prequel for that matter).
am also quite obsessed with the cover design.
May 15, 2021
Amazingly written LGBT novel about literally fighting your inner monsters. It's extremely original, with an emersive plot, and likable characters. The main protagonist is very lovable, flaws and all, which is definitely important in a first person point of view book. An incredible read, and I'm excited for the prequels!
April 18, 2023
Not what I expected, in a good way
This book was written in an almost disjointed way that took some getting used to. I wasn't a fan of the characters or what was going on with the story, but the writing was coherent enough for me to stick with it, as this was a recommendation from several of my book groups.
I'll admit it took me until about halfway through the book before I Really got into it, basically when they revealed the name of the Big Baddie.
I don't know if it was a shift in how I felt about the subject, or if the writing truly did improve, but once the MC accepted what was going on with him, it felt the writing and descriptions were allowed to flow freer as well, and the result is a low-key work of art.
Chapter 34 is a terrifying illustration in words. It's brilliant and scary and almost too real in a story about the supernatural, but that's always been the scariest thought when it comes to mental health, isn't it--that the horrors are Actually Real?
The finale was pretty epic, and I'm fairly satisfied with the ending, which always seems to be a hit or miss when it comes to high-risk stories involving souls at stake.
The epilogue... I want more of later-years Rod and friends So Bad now. The epilogue definitely sets up for a sequel. Fingers crossed we'll get one in some for or other one day.
The author has an IG I follow now, for updates.
Can't wait for more!
This book was written in an almost disjointed way that took some getting used to. I wasn't a fan of the characters or what was going on with the story, but the writing was coherent enough for me to stick with it, as this was a recommendation from several of my book groups.
I'll admit it took me until about halfway through the book before I Really got into it, basically when they revealed the name of the Big Baddie.
I don't know if it was a shift in how I felt about the subject, or if the writing truly did improve, but once the MC accepted what was going on with him, it felt the writing and descriptions were allowed to flow freer as well, and the result is a low-key work of art.
Chapter 34 is a terrifying illustration in words. It's brilliant and scary and almost too real in a story about the supernatural, but that's always been the scariest thought when it comes to mental health, isn't it--that the horrors are Actually Real?
The finale was pretty epic, and I'm fairly satisfied with the ending, which always seems to be a hit or miss when it comes to high-risk stories involving souls at stake.
The epilogue... I want more of later-years Rod and friends So Bad now. The epilogue definitely sets up for a sequel. Fingers crossed we'll get one in some for or other one day.
The author has an IG I follow now, for updates.
Can't wait for more!
July 18, 2021
Found this book incredibly engrossing. I'm often a fairly slow reader and can find it a bit difficult to get into books sometimes, but I read this in a day, couldn't put it down. The book is written from Rod's point of view, which works really well as Rod's character is well created and maintained throughout the book. Although the book deals with hard issues surrounding mental health and painful loss, nothing is gratuitously done and you find yourself really rooting for the characters through their trials. Although the book is dark and at some points scary, there is still a hopefulness to it that kept me reading on, the pacing of the story is very well done. I'm really excited to read the future books in the series and probably rereading Feyd in the future, the world has really stuck with me.
May 22, 2025
The beginning plot line and the inter-familial drama was really good and really hooked me. I was just turned off later in the book by how certain characters were described and represented and the Feyd world overall just fell flat for me. I was so into the beginning drama though and had a ton of fun with that.
October 7, 2025
Genuinely one of my favorite books. Feyd really made me excited to start reading again. I could read this book a million times and still love it every time.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews