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Church Girl Culture Vs. Christ: A Raw Conversation on Faith, Purity Culture, and Cosmetic Christianity...
In Church Culture Vs Christ, author Saphina Carla sheds light on common ideologies that have supplemented the Christian faith. In it, she discusses her own faulty beliefs that had to be readjusted by Christ and not by church girl culture – a culture of cosmetic Christianity that can often prioritize false piety, over transparency and truth. Her goal is to make taboo church topics – like Christian women struggling with lust, purity culture, or trauma – not so taboo. The goal is to remove the pressures of perfection when it comes to women of faith and to restore biblical truth in places where it’s been set aside for shallow formulas. Above all, her goal is for Christ to be glorified.
- GenresChristian
140 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 17, 2020
22 people are currently reading
78 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
January 18, 2025
A quick, edifying read for any woman of Christ.
January 20, 2023
IS PURITY CULTURE ‘BAD THEOLOGY?
Author Saphina Carla wrote in the Introduction to this 2020 book, “My vision for this book is to provide a safe space in the blankets of these pages where we can discuss different topics as it relates to the gospel---including the challenging ones. The goal is to help restore biblical truth and perspective to topics that have been considered taboo or uncomfortable to discuss within the church. My vision is to create a safe place for Christian women to realize that they aren’t crazy … for questioning certain doctrines that have been passed off as God’s law… I want this book to be interactive … which is why at the end of each chapter, I’ve included conversation questions… my goal is to challenge false ideologies while inspiring us to love God greater… not according to Christian girl culture but according to Christ.” (Pg. 9-10)
She recounts how, at age 16, she and her boyfriend were sitting in the waiting room of an abortion clinic: “The thought of being a 17-year-old mother seemed unfathomable and abortion felt like the only option… Things went by extremely fast and for a brief moment, I was reminded of how life and death can take place in seconds. It was all over. I met my boyfriend back in the reception area and we let hand-in-hand… My womb was now empty, but it felt as though my soul was empty too… The relationship continued to be abusive and toxic will a few ‘happy’ commercials in between. This would go on for another three years….” (Pg. 19-20)
She recalls, “I always struggled with the feeling that God was angry with me… I viewed Him as a God who was only full of judgment and criticism, but low on patience, grace, and mercy… Maybe this stemmed from my daddy issues and the fact that growing up, I normally felt criticized rather than encouraged by my earthly father…. Maybe it was the false ideas that I believed about the character and nature of God… or maybe, it was just bad theology.” (Pg. 40)
She notes, “many women in the church believe that if they stayed celibate for a certain amount of time in obedience to waiting for marriage to have sex, God would bless them with a husband within their own personal deadline. They viewed ‘doing things God’s way’ as a down payment on a guaranteed Godly romance. Two years, five years, ten years go by, and still no marriage. Some of us begin to feel as though we were celibate for no reason, when the truth is that we were just celibate for the WRONG reasons. We made our celibacy a bargaining tool with God…” (Pg. 42)
She points out, “Contrary to popular belief ,holy, sanctified, women of God battle with lust, sexual immorality and pornography too. One of the biggest misconceptions within church culture, is that lust is solely a male issue and that ‘real’ women of God are sexually desire-less creatures, whose job is to manage the lust of her counterparts and not cause him to stumble. Sexual desire is not gender specific…” (Pg. 63)
She argues, “It is no secret that when it comes to the topic of sex, church culture has been notorious for either avoiding the topic altogether or using fear tactics and shames to guilt people into sexual purity. Within Christian girl culture, sex has developed a connotation for being dirty, evil, shameful, and nasty. It’s a taboo subject… leaving many Christians with a missing safe space to just have REAL dialogue. To pretend that our Christian-ness will automatically annihilate any and all sexual desires is delusional…” (Pg. 74)
She continues, “It is the world that has taken and perverted it… the church has demonized sex to the point where shame, guilt, and dirtiness, are the only contexts many Christian women associate with it. This way of thinking does not automatically disappear once we say ‘I do.’ I know of several married women who… [found it] difficult for them to enjoy sex with their husbands whom they prayed for. Many women have had to seek counseling and therapy because of this.” (Pg. 77)
She explains, “Purity Culture is a set of rules, regulations, and formulas about dating, courtship, sex, or romantic conduct that is often based on opinions and personal preferences---all of which are upheld and preached as biblical and authoritative truth that must be abided by in order to EARBN a godly relationship… [It] communicates the following messages: *A Godly husband is a single woman’s messiah. *The purpose of your singleness is to prove to God that you are ‘worthy’ of marriage. *Singleness is the wilderness and marriage is the promised land. *Displaying any form of affection in dating… is evil, and indicative of immaturity and automatic sin. *Celibacy is a bargaining tool with God…” (Pg. 86-87)
She says, “It is my belief that purity culture can create a works-based foundation in pursuit of being found by God’s best…” (Pg. 99)
She cautions, “a man who goes to church isn’t necessarily a man of god. Church attendance does not equate to godly character. We can meet a godly man at the gas station, and then turn around and meet one of Satan’s besties at bible study. Do not confuse a man’s presence inside of a building, with God’s presence inside of his heart.” (Pg. 106)
She concludes, “I believe that in 2020, God is doing away with church as we have known it. I believe that He is calling those who have drifted away back to Himself---without the hype, without the fluff, and without the theatrics. In 2020, we cannot hide behind church girl culture and a cosmetic Christianity. He is preparing to exercise His judgment here on the earth, while His spirit is crying out for His children to refocus, get on the boat, and to take as many people with us as we possibly can.” (Pg. 134)
This book will be of keen interest to Christians studying ‘Purity Culture.’
Author Saphina Carla wrote in the Introduction to this 2020 book, “My vision for this book is to provide a safe space in the blankets of these pages where we can discuss different topics as it relates to the gospel---including the challenging ones. The goal is to help restore biblical truth and perspective to topics that have been considered taboo or uncomfortable to discuss within the church. My vision is to create a safe place for Christian women to realize that they aren’t crazy … for questioning certain doctrines that have been passed off as God’s law… I want this book to be interactive … which is why at the end of each chapter, I’ve included conversation questions… my goal is to challenge false ideologies while inspiring us to love God greater… not according to Christian girl culture but according to Christ.” (Pg. 9-10)
She recounts how, at age 16, she and her boyfriend were sitting in the waiting room of an abortion clinic: “The thought of being a 17-year-old mother seemed unfathomable and abortion felt like the only option… Things went by extremely fast and for a brief moment, I was reminded of how life and death can take place in seconds. It was all over. I met my boyfriend back in the reception area and we let hand-in-hand… My womb was now empty, but it felt as though my soul was empty too… The relationship continued to be abusive and toxic will a few ‘happy’ commercials in between. This would go on for another three years….” (Pg. 19-20)
She recalls, “I always struggled with the feeling that God was angry with me… I viewed Him as a God who was only full of judgment and criticism, but low on patience, grace, and mercy… Maybe this stemmed from my daddy issues and the fact that growing up, I normally felt criticized rather than encouraged by my earthly father…. Maybe it was the false ideas that I believed about the character and nature of God… or maybe, it was just bad theology.” (Pg. 40)
She notes, “many women in the church believe that if they stayed celibate for a certain amount of time in obedience to waiting for marriage to have sex, God would bless them with a husband within their own personal deadline. They viewed ‘doing things God’s way’ as a down payment on a guaranteed Godly romance. Two years, five years, ten years go by, and still no marriage. Some of us begin to feel as though we were celibate for no reason, when the truth is that we were just celibate for the WRONG reasons. We made our celibacy a bargaining tool with God…” (Pg. 42)
She points out, “Contrary to popular belief ,holy, sanctified, women of God battle with lust, sexual immorality and pornography too. One of the biggest misconceptions within church culture, is that lust is solely a male issue and that ‘real’ women of God are sexually desire-less creatures, whose job is to manage the lust of her counterparts and not cause him to stumble. Sexual desire is not gender specific…” (Pg. 63)
She argues, “It is no secret that when it comes to the topic of sex, church culture has been notorious for either avoiding the topic altogether or using fear tactics and shames to guilt people into sexual purity. Within Christian girl culture, sex has developed a connotation for being dirty, evil, shameful, and nasty. It’s a taboo subject… leaving many Christians with a missing safe space to just have REAL dialogue. To pretend that our Christian-ness will automatically annihilate any and all sexual desires is delusional…” (Pg. 74)
She continues, “It is the world that has taken and perverted it… the church has demonized sex to the point where shame, guilt, and dirtiness, are the only contexts many Christian women associate with it. This way of thinking does not automatically disappear once we say ‘I do.’ I know of several married women who… [found it] difficult for them to enjoy sex with their husbands whom they prayed for. Many women have had to seek counseling and therapy because of this.” (Pg. 77)
She explains, “Purity Culture is a set of rules, regulations, and formulas about dating, courtship, sex, or romantic conduct that is often based on opinions and personal preferences---all of which are upheld and preached as biblical and authoritative truth that must be abided by in order to EARBN a godly relationship… [It] communicates the following messages: *A Godly husband is a single woman’s messiah. *The purpose of your singleness is to prove to God that you are ‘worthy’ of marriage. *Singleness is the wilderness and marriage is the promised land. *Displaying any form of affection in dating… is evil, and indicative of immaturity and automatic sin. *Celibacy is a bargaining tool with God…” (Pg. 86-87)
She says, “It is my belief that purity culture can create a works-based foundation in pursuit of being found by God’s best…” (Pg. 99)
She cautions, “a man who goes to church isn’t necessarily a man of god. Church attendance does not equate to godly character. We can meet a godly man at the gas station, and then turn around and meet one of Satan’s besties at bible study. Do not confuse a man’s presence inside of a building, with God’s presence inside of his heart.” (Pg. 106)
She concludes, “I believe that in 2020, God is doing away with church as we have known it. I believe that He is calling those who have drifted away back to Himself---without the hype, without the fluff, and without the theatrics. In 2020, we cannot hide behind church girl culture and a cosmetic Christianity. He is preparing to exercise His judgment here on the earth, while His spirit is crying out for His children to refocus, get on the boat, and to take as many people with us as we possibly can.” (Pg. 134)
This book will be of keen interest to Christians studying ‘Purity Culture.’
March 10, 2021
AMAZING
I’ve been reading this book with my book club and it has been soo rewarding to read. One of my friends were so inspired by the book that we started a Clubhouse group called Church Culture.
I’ve been reading this book with my book club and it has been soo rewarding to read. One of my friends were so inspired by the book that we started a Clubhouse group called Church Culture.
February 5, 2025
I believe Every Christian girl needs this
One thing that I have realized throughout my christian journey is that it is easy to “play” church. It’s harder to commit and be true. It takes work that most dont want to do and we need to open our eyes to reality instead of hide behind quotes words and scriptures we’re told rather than have read. This book reveals a lot of truths but also opens up an honest conversation about christ and our journey. I also implore you to get a notebook or create a word doc, or if you have the physical copy write in the margins and on the lines. Please do the discussion questions and this is just for you so write EVERYTHING that comes to mind. Whether you look at it again or not share or not. I promise that release will reveal some things to you. I also recommend not reading this in one go. Do a chapter a day, or maybe once or twice every week. Or whenever the Lord leads you to read. And commit dont just read the words digest them meditate one them and experience them for yourself no one else. See what God does for you. If you decide to do this in a group setting please make it open discussion and judgement free and if you are heading the discussion, I recommend you do the chapter and answer the questions first so you can better lead your discussions and gain an understanding of it for yourself before you teach it to others. HIGHLY recommend!
One thing that I have realized throughout my christian journey is that it is easy to “play” church. It’s harder to commit and be true. It takes work that most dont want to do and we need to open our eyes to reality instead of hide behind quotes words and scriptures we’re told rather than have read. This book reveals a lot of truths but also opens up an honest conversation about christ and our journey. I also implore you to get a notebook or create a word doc, or if you have the physical copy write in the margins and on the lines. Please do the discussion questions and this is just for you so write EVERYTHING that comes to mind. Whether you look at it again or not share or not. I promise that release will reveal some things to you. I also recommend not reading this in one go. Do a chapter a day, or maybe once or twice every week. Or whenever the Lord leads you to read. And commit dont just read the words digest them meditate one them and experience them for yourself no one else. See what God does for you. If you decide to do this in a group setting please make it open discussion and judgement free and if you are heading the discussion, I recommend you do the chapter and answer the questions first so you can better lead your discussions and gain an understanding of it for yourself before you teach it to others. HIGHLY recommend!
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June 16, 2024Some really good takeaway quotes about current American “church” culture vs the Bible/Jesus culture.
“God created sex to bond man and woman within the context of covenant. Anything that we take and use outside of the context that God created it for will result in sin, destruction, and perversion. Let’s use fire as an example. Fire, in and of itself, is good and we need it here on this earth. Fire is beneficial and useful; we can use it to cook, warm a home or ignite a beautiful fireplace. However, that same fire that we used to warm a home is the same fire that we can use to purposely burn down our ex’s house. Flames can be fruitful or fatal, depending on the context by which it is used. The sin isn’t found in the flames; the sin is found in the arson. The evil isn’t found in the fire; the evil is found in the heart of the person who used what was good and used it for their own sinful gain. The content isn’t evil, the twisted context is.”
“God created sex to bond man and woman within the context of covenant. Anything that we take and use outside of the context that God created it for will result in sin, destruction, and perversion. Let’s use fire as an example. Fire, in and of itself, is good and we need it here on this earth. Fire is beneficial and useful; we can use it to cook, warm a home or ignite a beautiful fireplace. However, that same fire that we used to warm a home is the same fire that we can use to purposely burn down our ex’s house. Flames can be fruitful or fatal, depending on the context by which it is used. The sin isn’t found in the flames; the sin is found in the arson. The evil isn’t found in the fire; the evil is found in the heart of the person who used what was good and used it for their own sinful gain. The content isn’t evil, the twisted context is.”
May 23, 2022
This was a quick and easy read (finished in one sitting). The content is solid in biblical truth and author’s tone is casual, making the information easy to digest. There were quite a few errors that went unnoticed during the editing process and many run-on sentences.
Logistics aside, I was hoping the book to hold more depth. It felt rather basic, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I think this would be a great read for “newer” Christian, or someone who grew up in the church but has recently made the faith their own.
I enjoyed the concluding thoughts of the book. Such a great reminder of the bigger picture; what’s to come.
Logistics aside, I was hoping the book to hold more depth. It felt rather basic, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I think this would be a great read for “newer” Christian, or someone who grew up in the church but has recently made the faith their own.
I enjoyed the concluding thoughts of the book. Such a great reminder of the bigger picture; what’s to come.
May 17, 2021
Simple read with a powerful message
The author keeps it real from beginning to end. Its not fluff but authentic and relatable. I truly enjoyed reading this book.
The author keeps it real from beginning to end. Its not fluff but authentic and relatable. I truly enjoyed reading this book.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews