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A Bigger Table, Expanded Edition with Study Guide: Building Messy, Authentic, and Hopeful Spiritual Community
A Bigger Table invites readers to envision a church that is big enough for everyone, by holding up a mirror to the modern church and speaking clearly on issues at the heart of the Christian LGBT inclusion, gender equality, racial tensions, global concerns, and theological shifts. John Pavlovitz shares moving personal stories, his careful observations as a pastor, and his understanding of the ancient stories of Jesus to set the table for a new, positive, more loving conversation on these and other important matters of faith. Though there are many who would remove chairs and whittle down the guest list, we can build the bigger table Jesus imagined, practicing radical hospitality, total authenticity, messy diversity, and agenda-free community.
This new edition includes a small-group study guide complete with ideas for exploring A Bigger Table in a congregation-wide sermon series and program along with a new foreword by Jacqui Lewis and new afterword by the author to explore the challenges of living out the bigger table when voices of hate and exclusion seem stronger and louder than ever.
This new edition includes a small-group study guide complete with ideas for exploring A Bigger Table in a congregation-wide sermon series and program along with a new foreword by Jacqui Lewis and new afterword by the author to explore the challenges of living out the bigger table when voices of hate and exclusion seem stronger and louder than ever.
- GenresReligionNonfiction
245 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 6, 2017
74 people are currently reading
780 people want to read
About the author
John Pavlovitz
14 books225 followersJohn Pavlovitz is an American Unitarian pastor and author, known for his social and political writings from a post modern Unitarian universalist perspective.
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
October 31, 2020
An excellent book for anyone examining their faith or questioning it, or creating it. It’s also an excellent book for anyone who sees disconnects in what we are taught regarding how we are called to treat the people in our world versus how we see them being treated, both by religious and non-religious people.
This book struck a number of chords with me. As a life-long Methodist, with our family’s membership in the Methodist church going back at least 5 generations, I always took comfort from their “Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors” approach to humanity. When they decided to close those hearts, minds, and doors to specific segments of the population, it caused me great concern. I left the church, even though that left me feeling adrift without a rudder.
This book gives hope to me, and others who may be seeking to reconcile what they have been taught is the proper way to treat others as in “Love Thy Neighbor”, etc. and what is being said by people who have been held up as examples of religious purity and ideal Christians. In today’s world, with all the anger and strife, the medical insecurity, the questionable economics, this book is a breath of fresh air. While it isn’t designed to be a daily devotional, it is written with such positivity that I choose to read a portion of it every morning to remind myself there are some people in this world who really do embody the Christian principles I have been taught all my life.
My thanks to Westminster John Knox Press and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book for review. It deserves a permanent place on my shelf.
This book struck a number of chords with me. As a life-long Methodist, with our family’s membership in the Methodist church going back at least 5 generations, I always took comfort from their “Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors” approach to humanity. When they decided to close those hearts, minds, and doors to specific segments of the population, it caused me great concern. I left the church, even though that left me feeling adrift without a rudder.
This book gives hope to me, and others who may be seeking to reconcile what they have been taught is the proper way to treat others as in “Love Thy Neighbor”, etc. and what is being said by people who have been held up as examples of religious purity and ideal Christians. In today’s world, with all the anger and strife, the medical insecurity, the questionable economics, this book is a breath of fresh air. While it isn’t designed to be a daily devotional, it is written with such positivity that I choose to read a portion of it every morning to remind myself there are some people in this world who really do embody the Christian principles I have been taught all my life.
My thanks to Westminster John Knox Press and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book for review. It deserves a permanent place on my shelf.
July 26, 2021
I adore John Pavlovitz, but I don’t know how to feel about A Bigger Table, Expanded Edition with Study Guide: Building Messy, Authentic, and Hopeful Spiritual Community. On the one hand, Pavlovitz directs us to the real Christ, the Jesus that ate with tax collectors and prostitutes, who preached to Samaritans and touched lepers — all in violation of the norms of His day. That Jesus didn’t have a huge hierarchy nor honed liturgy nor millions of volumes of exegesis; He was literally creating it as He went. That’s the Jesus — the Jesus of the Bigger Table, which includes the least, the lost, the despairing, those we agree with, those we don’t — I want to follow. What a fabulous read!
But in his epilogue, Pavlovitz explains, then 2016 happened. How do we square the circle? How do we make community with those who call themselves Christians but want to cage babies, mock the oppressed, murder the stranger in our midst, celebrate injustice and racism, despise democracy? Pavlovitz has decided that you just can’t. I can’t argue with him, but it feels deflating. Especially as I have struggled with the same thing. I feel I have more in common with my kind Jewish, Buddhist, Baha’i and atheist friends than I do with megachurch pastors who worship Donald Trump and tax breaks for billionaires and ignore everything in the Bible.
But in his epilogue, Pavlovitz explains, then 2016 happened. How do we square the circle? How do we make community with those who call themselves Christians but want to cage babies, mock the oppressed, murder the stranger in our midst, celebrate injustice and racism, despise democracy? Pavlovitz has decided that you just can’t. I can’t argue with him, but it feels deflating. Especially as I have struggled with the same thing. I feel I have more in common with my kind Jewish, Buddhist, Baha’i and atheist friends than I do with megachurch pastors who worship Donald Trump and tax breaks for billionaires and ignore everything in the Bible.
May 1, 2024
The gist:
"The only person you need to be is the one you are at any given moment but you need to progress but objective morality is oppressive but we need to care about justice but truth is completely subjective but we should act in accord with the "complete truth" but we should be inclusive but traditional Christians are bad but we need to make the table wider but conservatives need to change because they're out of touch but saying people are wrong is oppressive but we’re all flawed but we all need to bring our truest selves without redaction in order to be free but not if you’re not affirming but we need to be free from religious dogma but Jesus demands that we be more inclusive but we need to deconstruct our view of the Bible but I like the bits of the Bible that I still like but we need to have no agenda but MAGA is absolutely antithetical to the teachings of Jesus but the church cares too much about politics but the church should care more about politics but everyone’s perfect right now but we need revival but we need to be more understanding of other peoples’ point of view but all Trump voters are the definitely racists but people need to stop categorising each other by their religious and political convictions but not when I don’t want to but churches claim to love diversity more than they really do but if you deny others’ existence then you aren’t welcome at the table because you’re an emotional terrorist but it’s bad when churches oust incompatible leaders but my way of understanding Christ is better than yours."
"The only person you need to be is the one you are at any given moment but you need to progress but objective morality is oppressive but we need to care about justice but truth is completely subjective but we should act in accord with the "complete truth" but we should be inclusive but traditional Christians are bad but we need to make the table wider but conservatives need to change because they're out of touch but saying people are wrong is oppressive but we’re all flawed but we all need to bring our truest selves without redaction in order to be free but not if you’re not affirming but we need to be free from religious dogma but Jesus demands that we be more inclusive but we need to deconstruct our view of the Bible but I like the bits of the Bible that I still like but we need to have no agenda but MAGA is absolutely antithetical to the teachings of Jesus but the church cares too much about politics but the church should care more about politics but everyone’s perfect right now but we need revival but we need to be more understanding of other peoples’ point of view but all Trump voters are the definitely racists but people need to stop categorising each other by their religious and political convictions but not when I don’t want to but churches claim to love diversity more than they really do but if you deny others’ existence then you aren’t welcome at the table because you’re an emotional terrorist but it’s bad when churches oust incompatible leaders but my way of understanding Christ is better than yours."
November 26, 2020
I won this book through GoodReads First Read program.
I am a conservative evangelical Christian and this book is not for me. Yes, the table is big and all are invited. That doesn't mean all actions are allowed at the table. We are all sinners and all sin is the same in the eyes of God.
I also don't like Christian books that try to tell you who you should support politically. Separation of Church and State. Have you heard about this concept? Pavlovitz obviously hasn't. From the beginning, he attacks President Trump and the Republican party. Don't hide your political agenda behind God.
I am a conservative evangelical Christian and this book is not for me. Yes, the table is big and all are invited. That doesn't mean all actions are allowed at the table. We are all sinners and all sin is the same in the eyes of God.
I also don't like Christian books that try to tell you who you should support politically. Separation of Church and State. Have you heard about this concept? Pavlovitz obviously hasn't. From the beginning, he attacks President Trump and the Republican party. Don't hide your political agenda behind God.
December 18, 2020
Summary: Traces the author’s journey into a bigger vision of and practice of Christian community that is far more inclusive in welcoming people and chronicles the stories of a bigger table and the lives it has touched.
This is an expanded version of a book first published in 2017. John Pavlovitz is a popular pastor and blogger who wrote this book as a narrative of his own journey into a ministry, starting with youth, that welcomed many who previously had not felt welcome. These were youth from different backgrounds, races, and especially, those who identified as LGBTQIA. This paralleled an internal journey from a vision of traditional church where there were things to be believed and not questioned, where you kept those questions and doubts to yourself. As Pavlovitz understanding about sexuality shifted, even though his ministry was thriving as kids encountered the love of Christ, he was fired from the congregation where he was serving.
This opened the doors to a new ministry of building bigger tables. His model was Jesus who set a big table at which “sinners” encountered radical hospitality, true diversity, and total authenticity. Establishment types, political radicals, sexual sinners, working class people, women as well as men were all welcome. The only ones who were not comfortable were the religious establishment. Pavlovitz argues for an “agenda-free” community that isn’t out to “convert” or “minister” but simply share life around Christ.
He argues that for Jesus, love matters more than theologies and apologetics and worldviews. He describes the response that opened up when he wrote about how he would love a child of his own who came out, and the stories and conversations with mama bears and mama dragons that followed, the mothers who advocate for their LGBTQIA children. He writes of the revolution that comes when we shed what he sees as false fears:
Fear of believing the wrong thing
Fear of not praying enough
Fear of joining the wrong denominations
Fear of not exegeting Scripture correctly
Fear of not evangelizing our neighbors enough
Fear of Muslims and gays and atheists
Fear of beer and Harry Potter and cuss words and yogo and mandalas and voting Democrat
Fear of a God who is holding hell over our heads–
Fear as our default setting
JOHN PAVLOVITZ, A BIGGER TABLE, (P. 166)
In the end, what Pavlovitz wants is a church that is the most diverse place on earth.
I found myself say “yes” at many points where he named some of the pathologies of the church, and the way our distorted theologies resulted in stunted, unloving lives in the world. I also grieve with him that the church is a dangerous place for many young people to open up about an LGBTQIA identification. It is also a dangerous places for others to talk about pornography or romantic fantasy addictions or adulterous affairs that are corroding marriages. It is also dangerous because we often cover rather than confront abuse in various forms. We tolerate bigotry and embrace of statist ideologies of the left and the right.
It was striking to me to read the afterword in the new edition. It seemed to recognize that there are dangers to the open table. Some are the dangers of political ideologies that would exclude persons of color or immigrants among believing people. Pavlovitz calls for pastors to exercise courage to stand up against a fear-based, loveless Christianity and for the diverse people welcomed to the table.
My concern in this book is what I believe is an either/or binary or dichotomy between radical love and good theology. I think it leads increasingly to a pastor having to open and also guard this welcoming table on their own authority, solely on the strength of their own incarnation of Christ’s love. While theologies can be sterile, distorted, and loveless, the authority of the biblical narrative centered in Christ can challenge idolatries of nationalism, racism, various forms of discrimination and injustice and also challenge all of us to Christ-shaped sexuality. Sadly, the narrow focus in some churches on the sexuality of LGBTQIA persons serves as a convenient dodge for allowing Christ to redeem and shape the sexuality of all of us in a supportive community.
The revised edition of the book includes a study guide for churches to use to begin to think about how they can remove barriers to a bigger table. While I do not agree at all points with the theological moves Pavlovitz has made to have a bigger table, the conversation he proposes for churches and his critique of the pathologies he experienced are worth taking on board.
________________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher via LibraryThing’s Early Reviewer Program. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
This is an expanded version of a book first published in 2017. John Pavlovitz is a popular pastor and blogger who wrote this book as a narrative of his own journey into a ministry, starting with youth, that welcomed many who previously had not felt welcome. These were youth from different backgrounds, races, and especially, those who identified as LGBTQIA. This paralleled an internal journey from a vision of traditional church where there were things to be believed and not questioned, where you kept those questions and doubts to yourself. As Pavlovitz understanding about sexuality shifted, even though his ministry was thriving as kids encountered the love of Christ, he was fired from the congregation where he was serving.
This opened the doors to a new ministry of building bigger tables. His model was Jesus who set a big table at which “sinners” encountered radical hospitality, true diversity, and total authenticity. Establishment types, political radicals, sexual sinners, working class people, women as well as men were all welcome. The only ones who were not comfortable were the religious establishment. Pavlovitz argues for an “agenda-free” community that isn’t out to “convert” or “minister” but simply share life around Christ.
He argues that for Jesus, love matters more than theologies and apologetics and worldviews. He describes the response that opened up when he wrote about how he would love a child of his own who came out, and the stories and conversations with mama bears and mama dragons that followed, the mothers who advocate for their LGBTQIA children. He writes of the revolution that comes when we shed what he sees as false fears:
Fear of believing the wrong thing
Fear of not praying enough
Fear of joining the wrong denominations
Fear of not exegeting Scripture correctly
Fear of not evangelizing our neighbors enough
Fear of Muslims and gays and atheists
Fear of beer and Harry Potter and cuss words and yogo and mandalas and voting Democrat
Fear of a God who is holding hell over our heads–
Fear as our default setting
JOHN PAVLOVITZ, A BIGGER TABLE, (P. 166)
In the end, what Pavlovitz wants is a church that is the most diverse place on earth.
I found myself say “yes” at many points where he named some of the pathologies of the church, and the way our distorted theologies resulted in stunted, unloving lives in the world. I also grieve with him that the church is a dangerous place for many young people to open up about an LGBTQIA identification. It is also a dangerous places for others to talk about pornography or romantic fantasy addictions or adulterous affairs that are corroding marriages. It is also dangerous because we often cover rather than confront abuse in various forms. We tolerate bigotry and embrace of statist ideologies of the left and the right.
It was striking to me to read the afterword in the new edition. It seemed to recognize that there are dangers to the open table. Some are the dangers of political ideologies that would exclude persons of color or immigrants among believing people. Pavlovitz calls for pastors to exercise courage to stand up against a fear-based, loveless Christianity and for the diverse people welcomed to the table.
My concern in this book is what I believe is an either/or binary or dichotomy between radical love and good theology. I think it leads increasingly to a pastor having to open and also guard this welcoming table on their own authority, solely on the strength of their own incarnation of Christ’s love. While theologies can be sterile, distorted, and loveless, the authority of the biblical narrative centered in Christ can challenge idolatries of nationalism, racism, various forms of discrimination and injustice and also challenge all of us to Christ-shaped sexuality. Sadly, the narrow focus in some churches on the sexuality of LGBTQIA persons serves as a convenient dodge for allowing Christ to redeem and shape the sexuality of all of us in a supportive community.
The revised edition of the book includes a study guide for churches to use to begin to think about how they can remove barriers to a bigger table. While I do not agree at all points with the theological moves Pavlovitz has made to have a bigger table, the conversation he proposes for churches and his critique of the pathologies he experienced are worth taking on board.
________________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher via LibraryThing’s Early Reviewer Program. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
July 18, 2021
John Pavlovitz has put into words what I have felt for years; that many organized Christian churches (main stream and Evangelical alike) have added to the divisiveness, wide-spread discrimination, and social injustice that plagues our country and world today. This is done, subtly and not-so-subtly, by propagating the idea that it is best to be part of a community where everyone and the views they hold are similar, and that "others" are not living according to God's laws and should be avoided lest they influence members to endanger their souls. Many churches have become very judgmental when time and again the Bible implores us to "Judge not, lest you be judged."
This "small table" view is diametrically opposed to the teachings of the new covenant given to us through Christ, who welcomed saint and sinner alike; spent time with people of all races, religions, and stations, holding none higher or lower than another; and taught that we should love with the unconditional agape love - seeing each other as through God's eyes and loving each other as God loves us.
Pavlovitz has written an interesting read which compels us to question where we as individuals stand on a number of social issues, and how welcoming and open we are to those different than ourselves. Very thought provoking and timely!
My thanks to NetGalley and Westminster John Knox Press for providing me with an e-copy of this book. All opinions (and any errors) in this review are my own.
This "small table" view is diametrically opposed to the teachings of the new covenant given to us through Christ, who welcomed saint and sinner alike; spent time with people of all races, religions, and stations, holding none higher or lower than another; and taught that we should love with the unconditional agape love - seeing each other as through God's eyes and loving each other as God loves us.
Pavlovitz has written an interesting read which compels us to question where we as individuals stand on a number of social issues, and how welcoming and open we are to those different than ourselves. Very thought provoking and timely!
My thanks to NetGalley and Westminster John Knox Press for providing me with an e-copy of this book. All opinions (and any errors) in this review are my own.
November 26, 2020
I recently received A Bigger Table in the mail as part of LibraryThing's Early Reviewer program. I've been reading John Pavlovitz's blog for a couple years and find his work vital to living in our society. I finished the book concurrently with an earlier EarlyReviewer selection, Richard Blanco's How To Love A Country. Both books speak to the same issues, but from different vantage points. Both books talk about how fractured our society has become, and how angry. Both books speak to those of us who would reach out to all sides, hoping to heal the tears that are rending our country. Pavlovitz is a minister in an urban church in North Carolina. As such, his book looks at how Christianity, or at least Christianity as it is practiced all too often in the U.S., has failed a good many people. He presents a plan, based on the way that Jesus fed the multitudes, or sat down to eat with Pharisees, or attended the wedding at Cana. He suggests that if we want to truly follow Jesus, we need to build "A Bigger Table," one around which all can be seated. As should be obvious, his concern in this book is the role of the Church and its pastors--whom he urges to "Be brave." He acknowledges that the work of reconciliation and acceptance will not be easy. My personal feeling is that this is a book for all Americans, not just church people. Highly recommended.
December 27, 2020
This is an excellent book about so-called "Evangelical" Christians today. The purpose of John Pavlovitz' book is to reorient Christians towards the calling and example of Jesus, rather than conform to the demands of our culture behind the facade of Christian religion. He presents the reader with the ideas of radical hospitality and true diversity and inclusion. The final chapter is also excellent being a personal reflection of his ideas about inclusion following the events in the United States from 2016 onward.
It took courage for the author to write this book. I found him to have great insight into problems with churches today. I encourage all Christians to read this book from start to finish. If you find you disagree with the author, that is expected. Still, you may find key insights into churches today in the book along with those disagreements.
It took courage for the author to write this book. I found him to have great insight into problems with churches today. I encourage all Christians to read this book from start to finish. If you find you disagree with the author, that is expected. Still, you may find key insights into churches today in the book along with those disagreements.
April 11, 2022
It seems these days that many Christian churches are determined to keep out people, whether because they are LGBTQ+, for or against vaccines, or even of the wrong political persuasion. Author John Palovitz calls this the ‘Big God, Small Table’ approach.
Pavlovitz began his Christian career as a junior pastor in a large conservative church. After exploring ideas with his youth group, he was summarily fired. Instead of this being an ending, after his period of grief, he found it expanding as he became more and more inclusive and Christ focused.
He makes a wonderful case for a larger, not smaller, table. Whether you belong to a conservative church and would like to understand the more liberal Christian’s view, or you belong to a liberal church and want to read well-stated reasoning, I’d highly recommend this book. It fits well into my goals of learning multiple points of view.
Pavlovitz began his Christian career as a junior pastor in a large conservative church. After exploring ideas with his youth group, he was summarily fired. Instead of this being an ending, after his period of grief, he found it expanding as he became more and more inclusive and Christ focused.
He makes a wonderful case for a larger, not smaller, table. Whether you belong to a conservative church and would like to understand the more liberal Christian’s view, or you belong to a liberal church and want to read well-stated reasoning, I’d highly recommend this book. It fits well into my goals of learning multiple points of view.
August 10, 2024
I loved this book. Could definitely be used as a study with a congregation. The trouble would be getting buy-in. John speaks candidly about the forces that are not interested in having a bigger table; and yes they are invited to be part of the bigger table as well - but they aren't allowed to bully others who have been marginalized for far too long. It would be exactly as the subtitle says, "messy, authentic, and hopeful.
On a side note he speaks a few times about one of my former colleagues, Susan May, a former D.S. and someone who died of cancer awhile back. She was much beloved in our conference. It was nice to hear him use her as someone who welcomed into the faith and an example of the type of community h is talking about.
If any of my congregation are reading this - and would be interested in doing this as a study - talk to me - let's see what we can do.
On a side note he speaks a few times about one of my former colleagues, Susan May, a former D.S. and someone who died of cancer awhile back. She was much beloved in our conference. It was nice to hear him use her as someone who welcomed into the faith and an example of the type of community h is talking about.
If any of my congregation are reading this - and would be interested in doing this as a study - talk to me - let's see what we can do.
November 18, 2020
Table Manners
We are living in an age where civility and manners are no loner valued. We have closed the gates to those who are not like us and take pleasure in spewing hate and prejudice. Pavlovitz brings a refreshing voice to the table in the worldly kingdom where respect, civility, and compassion are valued. He walks us through his journey into a new vision where we share ourselves without fear of hurt or reprisal, moving us closer to the Peaceable Kingdom that The Prophets and Jesus calls us to live into. Five stars!
We are living in an age where civility and manners are no loner valued. We have closed the gates to those who are not like us and take pleasure in spewing hate and prejudice. Pavlovitz brings a refreshing voice to the table in the worldly kingdom where respect, civility, and compassion are valued. He walks us through his journey into a new vision where we share ourselves without fear of hurt or reprisal, moving us closer to the Peaceable Kingdom that The Prophets and Jesus calls us to live into. Five stars!
February 3, 2021
This book does an excellent job of exposing the issues and hypocrisy of organized religion in today's world. They claim to be open to all people but that is anything but true. The politics within the church is presented and something I never considered at this level. Church attendance is declining and churches are competing with each other for members. To accomplish growth and true outreach this book makes simple, common sense recommendations which challenges our belief systems and make us admit to our prejudices and pre-conceived notions. John Pavlovitz is courageous and insightful!
July 10, 2021
This book invites readers to envision a church that is big enough for everyone by holding up a mirror to the modern church and speaking clearly on issues at the heart of the Christian community: LGBTQ inclusion, gender equality, racial tensions, global concerns and theological shifts. The author is committed to equality, diversity, and justice, both inside and outside faith communities. He takes pains to ground his arguments in scriptural references and writes with an eloquence and deep sense of care toward the church as an institution.
November 27, 2021
I want to expand my table….
This book forces one to think beyond traditional orthodoxy. It takes you out of the comfortable place and ‘asks’ you to consider, on a deeper level what living and leading like Jesus really looks like. It is provocative! While Peter expresses great and necessary points, he does come on very dogmatically ‘against traditional’ theology. For those who really need to read this book, they may quickly be turned off by such strong words, and stop reading - that would be sad!
This book forces one to think beyond traditional orthodoxy. It takes you out of the comfortable place and ‘asks’ you to consider, on a deeper level what living and leading like Jesus really looks like. It is provocative! While Peter expresses great and necessary points, he does come on very dogmatically ‘against traditional’ theology. For those who really need to read this book, they may quickly be turned off by such strong words, and stop reading - that would be sad!
February 14, 2021
'Being an optimist is hazardous duty these days.'
These words have grown truer since this book was first published, and yet the hard work of being optimists activily building authentic intentional communities growing to invite everyone safely to the table continues. Pavlovitz shares from his journey and of others in this work that can encourage us all on our way.
My copy was a gift through Goodreads First Reads.
These words have grown truer since this book was first published, and yet the hard work of being optimists activily building authentic intentional communities growing to invite everyone safely to the table continues. Pavlovitz shares from his journey and of others in this work that can encourage us all on our way.
My copy was a gift through Goodreads First Reads.
July 24, 2023
Very interesting book on inclusion and acceptance of all people into the family of God, yet without the religious aspect. Very encouraging and uplifting. Jesus said to love God and love one another. Accepting all people no matter who they are, what they believe, where they are from, who they love, what they look like is what God intends. A Bigger Table explains how to be more open and accepting of those the church usually ignores.
October 2, 2025
The analogy and image of the book is making space for a growing table on the legs of authenticity, diversity, agenda free engagement and hospitality. The author struggles in real time with the limits of the metaphor. I was disappointed by the perception of his own discovery as the origin of work as opposed to contextualizing the work in the experiences of others. Accessible and hopeful for churches.
December 15, 2022
Who is your neighbor?
John is a good writer and a courageous story teller. This book will stretch you and widen your perspective on what it means to love your neighbor. Be warned , expanding your table is not for the faint of heart, it is a difficult path, a narrow gate, but a necessary journey for those who follow Jesus or even those who want to be decent people.
John is a good writer and a courageous story teller. This book will stretch you and widen your perspective on what it means to love your neighbor. Be warned , expanding your table is not for the faint of heart, it is a difficult path, a narrow gate, but a necessary journey for those who follow Jesus or even those who want to be decent people.
July 5, 2022
Listened to audiobook & didn’t like the reader, listened to If God is Love Don’t Be a Jerk 1st which was read by the author & feel it was much better. This may not be a bad book, but I don’t recommend the audio version.
October 29, 2022
A must read for pastors and their congregations
I am looking forward to using this book as a spiritual growth study for my congregation. This seems like a geeat way to bring people on to our commumity of love and mutual caring. Build a bigger table and they will come.
I am looking forward to using this book as a spiritual growth study for my congregation. This seems like a geeat way to bring people on to our commumity of love and mutual caring. Build a bigger table and they will come.
September 5, 2021
What I hope will be
John’s words are inspirational and motivating and I hope that bigger tables are created because of it. I want to be the change too.
John’s words are inspirational and motivating and I hope that bigger tables are created because of it. I want to be the change too.
January 23, 2024
I loved this book. It gave me some great ideas and conversation starters. I'd love to do the 7 week study guide with a diverse group of people.
December 15, 2024
Five stars for content, not necessarily writing. But I'm just hopeful that something like this is thought of by anyone else, even if it may never happen.
December 7, 2025
A must read. This book is needed now more than ever. Bigger tables, more love, less hate. The tension of whether we can be tolerant of the intolerant is real and hard. This book helps.
December 30, 2022
This is another one of those books I wish I had been able to read several years ago when I was really anxious about how deep the rabbit hole would go for me... I love this quote from the book:
"I hadn't yet summoned the courage to face the most terrifying questions Christians can ever ask themselves: "if this small part of my faith that I always believed to be true no longer is, what else might not be true?" and "If the Bible doesn't say what I'd grown up believing it says in these handful of verses, where else have I gotten it wrong?" It begins to feel as though those questions themselves will destroy your faith for good, when in reality they should be welcome intrusions. Doubt isn't the sign of a dead faith, not necessarily even of a sickly one. It's often the sign of a faith that is allowing itself to be tested, one that is brave enough to see if it can hold up under stress. The worst thing you can do in those seasons of uncertainty is to pile upon your already burdened shoulders guilt for the mere fact that the wavering exists. God is more than big enough to withstand the weight of your vacillating belief, your part-time skepticism, and even your full-blown faith crises. We've been taught that such things are the antithesis of belief, usually by those who are afraid to be transparent about their own instability. God can handle your wavering, friend, even if those around you can't." (John Pavlovitz, 44)
I love the message of the book, but there's not enough meat to it or content to warrant a repeat reading.
Here are some other quotes I liked:
“The heart of the bigger table is the realization that we don't have to share someone's experience to respect their road. As we move beyond the lazy theology and easy caricatures that seek to remove any gray from people's lives, we can meet them in that grayness, right where they are, without demanding they become something else in order to earn proximity to us or to a God who loves them dearly. Just as was true in the life and ministry of Jesus. Real love is not contingent upon alteration; it simply is. There is no earning of fellowship or deserving of closeness; there is only the invitation itself and the joy that comes when you are fully seen and heard.” (18-19)
“The truth is real spirituality is usually costly. Many followers of Jesus end up learning this not from the world outside the Church but from our faith tradition itself. We end up choosing Jesus and losing our religion; finding proximity to him creates distance from others. If you seek to expand the table you're going to find yourself in a tough spot. The truth may not get you fired. (Although it might).” (52).
“This is what it means to be the people of the bigger table: to look for the threads that might tie us together and to believe that these are more powerful than we imagine. This is the only future the Church really has. Disparate people will not be brought together through a denomination or a pastor or by anything the institutional church can offer. We know that now. These were useful for a time, but they are an exercise in diminishing returns. The Church will thrive only to the degree it is willing to be out making space for a greater swath of humanity and by recognizing the redemptive power of relationships. (62-63)
This sounds all too familiar:
“Frame the spiritual journey as a stark good-vs.-evil battle of warring sides long enough and you’ll eventually see the Church and those around you in the same way too. You’ll begin to filter the world through the lens of conflict. Everything becomes a threat to the family; everyone becomes a potential enemy. Fear becomes the engine that drives the whole thing. When this happens, your default response to people who are different or who challenge you can turn from compassion to contempt. You become less like God and more like the Godfather. In those times, instead of being a tool to fit your heart for invitation, faith can become a weapon to defend yourself against the encroaching sinners threatening God’s people—whom we conveniently always consider ourselves among. Religion becomes a cold, cruel distance maker, pushing from the table people who aren’t part of the brotherhood and don’t march in lockstep with the others.” (28)
“I knew without blinking that I didn't have to choose between loving God and loving my brother - and he didn't have to choose between being gay and being adored by God.” (17)
"I hadn't yet summoned the courage to face the most terrifying questions Christians can ever ask themselves: "if this small part of my faith that I always believed to be true no longer is, what else might not be true?" and "If the Bible doesn't say what I'd grown up believing it says in these handful of verses, where else have I gotten it wrong?" It begins to feel as though those questions themselves will destroy your faith for good, when in reality they should be welcome intrusions. Doubt isn't the sign of a dead faith, not necessarily even of a sickly one. It's often the sign of a faith that is allowing itself to be tested, one that is brave enough to see if it can hold up under stress. The worst thing you can do in those seasons of uncertainty is to pile upon your already burdened shoulders guilt for the mere fact that the wavering exists. God is more than big enough to withstand the weight of your vacillating belief, your part-time skepticism, and even your full-blown faith crises. We've been taught that such things are the antithesis of belief, usually by those who are afraid to be transparent about their own instability. God can handle your wavering, friend, even if those around you can't." (John Pavlovitz, 44)
I love the message of the book, but there's not enough meat to it or content to warrant a repeat reading.
Here are some other quotes I liked:
“The heart of the bigger table is the realization that we don't have to share someone's experience to respect their road. As we move beyond the lazy theology and easy caricatures that seek to remove any gray from people's lives, we can meet them in that grayness, right where they are, without demanding they become something else in order to earn proximity to us or to a God who loves them dearly. Just as was true in the life and ministry of Jesus. Real love is not contingent upon alteration; it simply is. There is no earning of fellowship or deserving of closeness; there is only the invitation itself and the joy that comes when you are fully seen and heard.” (18-19)
“The truth is real spirituality is usually costly. Many followers of Jesus end up learning this not from the world outside the Church but from our faith tradition itself. We end up choosing Jesus and losing our religion; finding proximity to him creates distance from others. If you seek to expand the table you're going to find yourself in a tough spot. The truth may not get you fired. (Although it might).” (52).
“This is what it means to be the people of the bigger table: to look for the threads that might tie us together and to believe that these are more powerful than we imagine. This is the only future the Church really has. Disparate people will not be brought together through a denomination or a pastor or by anything the institutional church can offer. We know that now. These were useful for a time, but they are an exercise in diminishing returns. The Church will thrive only to the degree it is willing to be out making space for a greater swath of humanity and by recognizing the redemptive power of relationships. (62-63)
This sounds all too familiar:
“Frame the spiritual journey as a stark good-vs.-evil battle of warring sides long enough and you’ll eventually see the Church and those around you in the same way too. You’ll begin to filter the world through the lens of conflict. Everything becomes a threat to the family; everyone becomes a potential enemy. Fear becomes the engine that drives the whole thing. When this happens, your default response to people who are different or who challenge you can turn from compassion to contempt. You become less like God and more like the Godfather. In those times, instead of being a tool to fit your heart for invitation, faith can become a weapon to defend yourself against the encroaching sinners threatening God’s people—whom we conveniently always consider ourselves among. Religion becomes a cold, cruel distance maker, pushing from the table people who aren’t part of the brotherhood and don’t march in lockstep with the others.” (28)
“I knew without blinking that I didn't have to choose between loving God and loving my brother - and he didn't have to choose between being gay and being adored by God.” (17)
August 8, 2025
Highly recommend this book for anyone who feels left behind by a church that has migrated to the political Right at the expense of the teachings of Jesus.
January 3, 2022
This book was recommended to a group I was in so I decided to give it a try. I had read some of his blogs which I found unfairly judgmental and hateful. This book started out the same way. The first few paragraphs contain hatred and judgement against those who voted for Trump. He claims to speak for the beliefs of millions of people instead of asking and listening. No doubt there are some conservatives who fit that description but Pavlovitz claims to speak for them all or to say what they believe, what they know and what they care about. How arrogant! I decided to continue reading. His book did not change my mind on anything at all. I think all should be welcome at church which my church does. That does not mean we should support what the Bible says is sinful. We should speak " the truth in love". I don't worship Trump. I vote for a candidate based on his or her policies not on gender or race. It was well written and I would have rated it higher but for the hateful and judgmental beginning.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 30, 2025
I am so supportive of the thesis of this book, and I am seeking ways to make its core principles a reality in my life and ministry, but, frankly, I found the writing frustratingly shambolic... akin to an expanded and poorly edited blog post (much though I have appreciated the author's blog posts in the past- indeed they are what drew me to the book) with arbitrary chapter breaks. The study guide at the back of this edition helps to introduce a retrospective structure to what is more of an organic exploration of the issue. The word to pastors and the preceding afterword were also very helpful; the word to pastors speaking into my own previous unhealed experience, and the afterword addressing what I had felt was a glaring issue throughout the book, particularly in the light of some of the author's own engagements on social media ie how do you make room at the table for those who refuse to observe basic table manners, including treating fellow diners, especially vulnerable ones, with any sort of respect. This afterword was written 4 years after publication and the bruising experience of a Trump election campaign and presidency... it would be interesting to see if the author's thinking had progressed further with advent of Trump being elected as the 47th President, once again with the support of prominent Christian voices and a large sector of avowedly Christian voters. Judging from his social media posts I suspect that he will not be laying a place at the table for them!
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