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The Surviving Twin: A Memoir of Asperger's, Anorexia and Loss
This memoir chronicles the unique ordeals of identical twin sisters Diana and Julia Lockwood. Even among twins, Diana and Julia were especially close and deeply entwined--they were more than just sisters or best friends, they were like one soul in two bodies. While their total attunement sometimes saved them in funny and unexpected ways, it also eventually destroyed them.
A survivor of sexual assault and anorexia and living with Asperger's, the author tells her own life story while weaving Julia's letters and journal entries into the text. While Diana survived the struggles that led her to three suicide attempts, her twin unfortunately took her own life only a year after their father did the same. This book explores the life and relationship of twins separated by tragedy and follows a woman's struggle to make it on her own.
A survivor of sexual assault and anorexia and living with Asperger's, the author tells her own life story while weaving Julia's letters and journal entries into the text. While Diana survived the struggles that led her to three suicide attempts, her twin unfortunately took her own life only a year after their father did the same. This book explores the life and relationship of twins separated by tragedy and follows a woman's struggle to make it on her own.
- GenresNonfiction
262 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2020
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24 people want to read
About the author
Diana Lockwood
1 book2 followersI’m a survivor of anorexia, suicide, and rape and hope that my book, The Surviving Twin, will help others who have gone through similar traumas feel less alone. I’m still just trying to survive every day in this sick sad world!
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
January 14, 2023
For the longest time, it was Lockwood and her sister against the world. Their parents were on their side—their mother, who understood much earlier than most that chances were good that the twins experienced the world through the lens of autism, and their father, who understood this less viscerally but ultimately wanted them to be happy and safe—but much of the world wants conformity, and ‘that one Diana/Julia girl’ could not conform.
This is not a story for the faint of heart. Depression and (more than one) attempted suicide and (more than one) completed suicide, sexual assault and stays in psychiatric wards, anorexia, a bond that at times was necessary for survival and at other times may have kept necessary parts of the world out.
I’ve read relatively few books about living with autism/Asperger’s, and fewer about women and girls—girls are much less likely to be diagnosed than boys, because they present differently. They mask it better. And while a lack of diagnosis might have some perks, like lack of stigma (at one point Julia and Diana—pseudonyms, by the way—argue that they’re glad they didn’t have a childhood diagnosis, because they got to have a ‘normal’ childhood), it also means lack of support, lack of interventions and understanding that could smooth the way somewhat. But this is such a clear-eyed picture of what that experience looked like, not just how it felt to be in the sharper difficulties of autism and depression and so on, but how it must have looked from the outside. It's also important to note that although there is a lot of hard in here, Lockwood is also careful not to make it a misery memoir—to highlight good things, and moments where things clicked, as well as the difficult things. Not an easy read, but a thoughtful one.
This is not a story for the faint of heart. Depression and (more than one) attempted suicide and (more than one) completed suicide, sexual assault and stays in psychiatric wards, anorexia, a bond that at times was necessary for survival and at other times may have kept necessary parts of the world out.
I’ve read relatively few books about living with autism/Asperger’s, and fewer about women and girls—girls are much less likely to be diagnosed than boys, because they present differently. They mask it better. And while a lack of diagnosis might have some perks, like lack of stigma (at one point Julia and Diana—pseudonyms, by the way—argue that they’re glad they didn’t have a childhood diagnosis, because they got to have a ‘normal’ childhood), it also means lack of support, lack of interventions and understanding that could smooth the way somewhat. But this is such a clear-eyed picture of what that experience looked like, not just how it felt to be in the sharper difficulties of autism and depression and so on, but how it must have looked from the outside. It's also important to note that although there is a lot of hard in here, Lockwood is also careful not to make it a misery memoir—to highlight good things, and moments where things clicked, as well as the difficult things. Not an easy read, but a thoughtful one.
October 11, 2021
Diana weaves a tale of wondrous childhood connection with her twin Julia to create a dream-like memoir filled with fanciful narration & interspersed with evocative imagery along with playful references.
When I read this book, my soul soared from the authentic and heartfelt story of Diana & Julia. Their memoir made me reflect upon the powerful sweetness of sisterhood and friendship. “The Surviving Twin: A Memoir of Asperger’s, Anorexia, and Loss” is a story of twin sisters whose spirits prevail, even after one sister departed from this world.
As an avid fiction reader, I initially felt hesitant reading a memoir — but I had the full range of emotions that I’d usually experience from my fiction picks. The book reminds me of some of my favorite short story collections, and that’s exactly what it feels like: a compilation of stories and moments that transcend any superficial impressions.
This memoir has an innovative and thoughtful format, from the placement of photos to the number & name of chapters. The dual narration provides readers with a view inside the complex and charming thoughts of Julia and Diana, two smart and sometimes serious young girls.
Some of this memoir took the epistolary form: the letters written between Diana and Julia stirred up the life within me, and I found myself taking on life’s challenges and cherishes with the twins. I loved all of the references — music, books, and movies accompanied each experience and thought, like threads weaving the stories together.
There were also many intense moments, especially Diana & Julia’s experiences with insensitivity from those whom they only wanted to show love. In one of my favorite chapters, entitled “Romantically Asexual,” Julia describes how the man who called himself a nihilist, Larry, responded to Diana when she told him that routine was an important aspect for people with Asperger’s. He responded:
“Are you sure you’re not using Asperger’s as an excuse to be so rigid?” (147)
This blunt response from such an allegedly open-minded person only scratches the surface of the dark — and oftentimes hurtful and damaging — impacts of living with Asperger’s and anorexia.
Other moments had humor and playfulness that often cut through the tragic moments. During one particularly tense moment in chapter 12, a laugh bubbled out of me unexpectedly at this line:
“He continued shouting reproaches at her until Powerpuff Scrubs came in and told him to go to his room” (132).
These instances of levity made this book memorable, and the writing style demonstrated the authors’ sardonically charming flair.
All 22 chapters and the Afterword provide the audience with introspection and wonder for life and the unknown. I give this memoir my highest recommendation.
When I read this book, my soul soared from the authentic and heartfelt story of Diana & Julia. Their memoir made me reflect upon the powerful sweetness of sisterhood and friendship. “The Surviving Twin: A Memoir of Asperger’s, Anorexia, and Loss” is a story of twin sisters whose spirits prevail, even after one sister departed from this world.
As an avid fiction reader, I initially felt hesitant reading a memoir — but I had the full range of emotions that I’d usually experience from my fiction picks. The book reminds me of some of my favorite short story collections, and that’s exactly what it feels like: a compilation of stories and moments that transcend any superficial impressions.
This memoir has an innovative and thoughtful format, from the placement of photos to the number & name of chapters. The dual narration provides readers with a view inside the complex and charming thoughts of Julia and Diana, two smart and sometimes serious young girls.
Some of this memoir took the epistolary form: the letters written between Diana and Julia stirred up the life within me, and I found myself taking on life’s challenges and cherishes with the twins. I loved all of the references — music, books, and movies accompanied each experience and thought, like threads weaving the stories together.
There were also many intense moments, especially Diana & Julia’s experiences with insensitivity from those whom they only wanted to show love. In one of my favorite chapters, entitled “Romantically Asexual,” Julia describes how the man who called himself a nihilist, Larry, responded to Diana when she told him that routine was an important aspect for people with Asperger’s. He responded:
“Are you sure you’re not using Asperger’s as an excuse to be so rigid?” (147)
This blunt response from such an allegedly open-minded person only scratches the surface of the dark — and oftentimes hurtful and damaging — impacts of living with Asperger’s and anorexia.
Other moments had humor and playfulness that often cut through the tragic moments. During one particularly tense moment in chapter 12, a laugh bubbled out of me unexpectedly at this line:
“He continued shouting reproaches at her until Powerpuff Scrubs came in and told him to go to his room” (132).
These instances of levity made this book memorable, and the writing style demonstrated the authors’ sardonically charming flair.
All 22 chapters and the Afterword provide the audience with introspection and wonder for life and the unknown. I give this memoir my highest recommendation.
January 30, 2021
The Surviving Twin invites the reader on a retrospective journey of Dianna Lockwood's life as one of two "Twinniest Twins," and their neurodiverse navigation through childhood, loss, and a never-ending battle with anorexia.
Lockwood's writing is witty and personal, but exceptionally vivid to a degree where I often felt as if immersed in her own memories. I'm normally a slow reader, but the pacing and emotional charge of this book kept me so interested that I finished it in two nights.
Be prepared for a bit of an emotional roller-coaster: Lockwood paints a world that moves too fast for the twins, but enjoins our own innocence with hers as she reminisces challenges of making sense of not only a laughably weird world, but one that throws the twins too many tragic curveballs, eventually splitting them apart materially. Multiple times I had to put the book down to wipe away tears.
This unique personal memoir lingered with me emotionally long after reading. It will likely be one of those books that I never forget.
Lockwood's writing is witty and personal, but exceptionally vivid to a degree where I often felt as if immersed in her own memories. I'm normally a slow reader, but the pacing and emotional charge of this book kept me so interested that I finished it in two nights.
Be prepared for a bit of an emotional roller-coaster: Lockwood paints a world that moves too fast for the twins, but enjoins our own innocence with hers as she reminisces challenges of making sense of not only a laughably weird world, but one that throws the twins too many tragic curveballs, eventually splitting them apart materially. Multiple times I had to put the book down to wipe away tears.
This unique personal memoir lingered with me emotionally long after reading. It will likely be one of those books that I never forget.
January 29, 2021
The title piqued my interest so I purchased the book and I’m so glad I did. The content is rich and unlike anything I’ve read before. The demons this girl faced growing up feeling “different” with and equally “different “ identical twin and the struggle of recognizing the difference but not understanding why touched my emotions. Despite these differences, this woman who views herself as atypical, odd, and awkward is actually an incredibly tenacious beautiful soul who has endured more in her 30 years of life than most have endured in a lifetime. Her story is emotionally charged and simply touches the heart.
January 22, 2023
Diana Lockwood is a brave woman for rising above tremendous tragedy and putting it all down on paper to share with the world. And, she writes well. My heart hurts after reading her memoir. Absolutely tragic. Yay, for a happy ending. I'm cheering for her finding another soulmate.
The ending is perfect! Often, I'm disappointed by poor endings, especially in fiction. Even though it's a happy ending, she admits to the reality of the back and forth ongoing struggle with anorexia, similar to overcoming an addiction.
Love the included photos of Diana and her beloved sister, from babies to young women.
Well done.
The ending is perfect! Often, I'm disappointed by poor endings, especially in fiction. Even though it's a happy ending, she admits to the reality of the back and forth ongoing struggle with anorexia, similar to overcoming an addiction.
Love the included photos of Diana and her beloved sister, from babies to young women.
Well done.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews