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Parenting Is Your Highest Calling: And Eight Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt
In this provocative book, author Leslie Leyland Fields explores with refreshing honesty the myths that can lead to unrealistic expectations and distract us from God’s purposes for our children and for us.
Why am I not a more joyful parent? Why aren’t my kids turning out as I expected? Why do I always feel as if I’m not doing enough for my children? Is Parenting Supposed to Be This Difficult? As a mother of six, Leslie Leyland Fields knows firsthand the insecurities and questions that come with rearing children. In Parenting Is Your Highest Calling , she tackles nine myths about parenting,
• Children make you happy and bring great fulfillment.
• You will always feel love for your child.
• Your success as a parent can be measured by your child’s behavior.
• There is one “right” biblical model for family life.
• Good parenting will result in happy children.
Through a close look at God’s own life as a parent as well as stories from real-life families, Fields highlights the transforming biblical truths that release parents from the grip of mistaken assumptions. Fresh, provocative insights will lead you to a deeper understanding of God and yourself– an understanding that lifts the weight of guilt and fear and frees you to love your children as God intended.
Includes “going deeper” questions for individuals, couples, or groups.
Why am I not a more joyful parent? Why aren’t my kids turning out as I expected? Why do I always feel as if I’m not doing enough for my children? Is Parenting Supposed to Be This Difficult? As a mother of six, Leslie Leyland Fields knows firsthand the insecurities and questions that come with rearing children. In Parenting Is Your Highest Calling , she tackles nine myths about parenting,
• Children make you happy and bring great fulfillment.
• You will always feel love for your child.
• Your success as a parent can be measured by your child’s behavior.
• There is one “right” biblical model for family life.
• Good parenting will result in happy children.
Through a close look at God’s own life as a parent as well as stories from real-life families, Fields highlights the transforming biblical truths that release parents from the grip of mistaken assumptions. Fresh, provocative insights will lead you to a deeper understanding of God and yourself– an understanding that lifts the weight of guilt and fear and frees you to love your children as God intended.
Includes “going deeper” questions for individuals, couples, or groups.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2008
23 people are currently reading
244 people want to read
About the author
Leslie Leyland Fields
31 books132 followersWhen you see her, Leslie may be wearing a silk dress and fishnets or wearing Xtra-Tuff boots and mending fishing nets, depending on whether she’s at her fishcamp in the Alaska wilderness or on a speaking tour “Outside.” She’s happy in both places talking about the books, places and topics that move her most.
She's the multi-award winning author of 12 books, with her 12th forthcoming in April, 2020. (Your Story Matters) Her list includes Crossing the Waters: Following Jesus through the Storms, the Fish, the Doubt and the Seas; Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers; The Spirit of Food: 34 Writers on Feasting and Fasting Toward God (Cascade), Surviving the Island of Grace: A Life on the Wild Edge of America (Thomas Dunne), and Parenting is Your Highest Calling . . . and Eight Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt (Waterbrook), and five others. Her essays have won a number of awards and have appeared in The Atlantic Monthly, Christianity Today, Beliefnet, Books and Culture, Orion, etc. She takes on garbage, a theology of the body, culture-making, motherhood, narrative theology and points between and beyond. Her essays have won Pushcart nominations, the William Wilberforce Award and the Virginia Faulkner Award.
“As much as I love words on the page, I’m not fully satisfied until I get to speak them in person with others,” Leslie adds. She says she’s honored to travel and share from her passions nationally and internationally at conferences, universities, churches and retreats. With three master’s degrees, she has taught collegiate and undergraduate classes for many years, including six years in Seattle Pacific University’s MFA program. If she can’t see her audience, radio is a good second. She has appeared on more than 150 radio shows including Family Life Today, Prime Time America, Keepin' the Faith, Chris Fabry Live!
Leslie blogs at www.leslieleylandfields.com about life in her house, in the wild and on the road. She lives in Kodiak, Alaska with her husband and two teens. In the summer, her four older children return to their fishcamp island where cell phones don’t work, and where they all happily (sometimes) work together in commercial salmon fishing. You can reach her at leslieleylandfields@gmail.com
She's the multi-award winning author of 12 books, with her 12th forthcoming in April, 2020. (Your Story Matters) Her list includes Crossing the Waters: Following Jesus through the Storms, the Fish, the Doubt and the Seas; Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers; The Spirit of Food: 34 Writers on Feasting and Fasting Toward God (Cascade), Surviving the Island of Grace: A Life on the Wild Edge of America (Thomas Dunne), and Parenting is Your Highest Calling . . . and Eight Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt (Waterbrook), and five others. Her essays have won a number of awards and have appeared in The Atlantic Monthly, Christianity Today, Beliefnet, Books and Culture, Orion, etc. She takes on garbage, a theology of the body, culture-making, motherhood, narrative theology and points between and beyond. Her essays have won Pushcart nominations, the William Wilberforce Award and the Virginia Faulkner Award.
“As much as I love words on the page, I’m not fully satisfied until I get to speak them in person with others,” Leslie adds. She says she’s honored to travel and share from her passions nationally and internationally at conferences, universities, churches and retreats. With three master’s degrees, she has taught collegiate and undergraduate classes for many years, including six years in Seattle Pacific University’s MFA program. If she can’t see her audience, radio is a good second. She has appeared on more than 150 radio shows including Family Life Today, Prime Time America, Keepin' the Faith, Chris Fabry Live!
Leslie blogs at www.leslieleylandfields.com about life in her house, in the wild and on the road. She lives in Kodiak, Alaska with her husband and two teens. In the summer, her four older children return to their fishcamp island where cell phones don’t work, and where they all happily (sometimes) work together in commercial salmon fishing. You can reach her at leslieleylandfields@gmail.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
July 23, 2018
God is supplying much timely reading material lately. This was a breath of fresh air I didn’t know I needed so badly.
An unfortunate title imo, the content of the book nevertheless was solid gold.
What I most appreciate about this book is the author’s sound grasp and use of the WHOLE of scripture versus the proof texting that so many of the myths she dispels stand upon within entire Christian ministries and churches.
I tried to encapsulate main ideas via quotes from each chapter. I will list them here. Don’t let these quotes be a substitute for reading the entire book, however. There is so much more substance to be had from reading the whole book.
Myth1: Having children makes you happy and fulfilled
“ The questions, “ Is parenting really worth it?” and “Am I fulfilled as a parent?” are, finally, irrelevant. I Ask myself instead, “Am I parenting faithfully? Am I parenting consistently? Am I honoring God as I raise my children?” This is what I am responsible for. God is responsible for all the rest. Every day His sure hand is beneath my children just as it is beneath me.
This is our deepest hope and greatest pleasure. It is a hope that also frees our children as we release from them a weight they were never meant to bear: our expectations that they’ll make us happy. Then every moment of delight they bring is extra, grace upon grace, like a jig joyously erupting before startled audience. We can laugh for days in the unexpected dance.”
Myth 2: Nuturing your children is natural and instinctive
“For Too long our culture and our churches have made light of the life-altering crucibles of pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. While the motive has often been to affirm parenthood, the effect has ultimately been defeating. It can be hard to love our children, because biblical love calls us far beyond our own instincts and abilities. Biblical love challenges us at the very core of our being.”
“True biblical love is difficult to live out because it is a call to death.”
“ Love is not hard only for me. True biblical love is difficult for everyone!”
“We need to stop pretending that loving our children is natural and instinctive. No. It’s messy. It’s arduous. It’s costly.”
“Love will cost us our lives. If we expect otherwise, we may be tempted to give up along the way. But...God’s call to an impossible, dying-to-self love is already made possible. The love He calls us to, as hard as it is, is the love He Himself undeningly supplies.”
Myth 3: Parenting is your highest Calling
“When we turn ...to the one source of truth, we find many bible passages that challenge the assumption that as believing parents our highest calling is to our families.”
“Yes, God calls us to our own family, but He also calls us to the highway where a stranger from another family, ethnicity, and religion lies bleeding, a stranger whom God calls our ‘neighbor’ and commands us to love. The family reunion that awaits us at the end of time is not a reunion w our family of origin or the family we are raising but a reunion with God Our true Father & our blood bought brothers and sisters.”
Myth 4: Good parenting leads to happy children
“Holiness is the way to happiness.”
“ I am learning that it does not serve my children’s good to attempt to fulfill all their desires most of which are not about pursuing God but about pursuing other things nor is it my job to try to shield them from all of life‘s injustices or from the consequences of their decisions.”
Myth 5: If you find parenting difficult, you must not be following the right plan
“There is no set biblical way for children to behave or dress or talk or play. God has called us to create an environment for children where they can get a clear sense of love, forgiveness, and grace of God. On top of that, he has given us the mandate to build quality is like respect, honor, decency, fairness, and modesty into the corner of their character. God allows children a lot of latitude and how they live out their personality type within the boundaries of these wonderful values that is too much into original thoughts and ideas to create some mold that produces “the perfect Christian kid.”
As quoted by Dr. Tim Kimmel in his book “why Christian kids rebel”
“... fruitful parenting is more about people than process.”
“ knowing God and depending on him is the beginning of godly parenting.”
“ The hardest and most real work of parenting is done when I give up my own agenda and seek God‘s, when my heart asks to be molded to God’s will and character.”
“[God] parents, not according to an external list of rules, but according to his nature. Because he is a God of abounding love, he showers love and tenderness upon his children.”
“ The Gospel we teach most effectively is the one that we embody and walk out before our children, not the gospel that trips easily off our tongue.”
“ parenting is not a project or an experiment. Books and programs and prescriptions do not to raise children. No other parent or writer, no matter how many books they sell, no matter how many children they have raise, can know our children as God does or as we do.”
“ The only perfect parent – God himself – led a parenting life that was anything but expedient. His relationship with his son Israel was mercurial, thorny, time-consuming, and consistently inconvenient.”
“ If we misunderstand the idea that we are the hands and feet of Jesus to our children we slip further into error. We can assume a kind of omniscience over our children. We can believe that we are capable of seeing into their hearts and minds, and then we treat them according to our assumptions.”
“ What could be more countercultural then to aspire to the dependence of a child rather than the authority of an adult? The call in the Scriptures to imitate Jesus moves us in the same direction. I am convinced that the Bible’s command to “be like Christ” was not meant to empower us but to humble us. In the face of that call to perfection, we confront our own sin and discover the most essential piece of news we need to know about ourselves as parents: we are weak, fallible, and desperately in need of grace. I Experience this daily, recognizing again and again that rather than being Jesus, I am needing Jesus.”
“ it is not Jesus’s authority and omniscience that we are called to imitate but his humility, his servant hood, and his sacrifice. In this way alone are we his hands and his feet in our household.”
Myth 7: You Will Always Feel Unconditional Love For Your Children:
“ The Israelites sin was unimaginably great: desertion, abandonment, rejection of the love of the one who had given them life, who had lavished a perfect and undeserved love upon them, who would save them from slavery and brought them into a new land.”
“ elsewhere in scripture, God’s response to his called out people includes disgust, sorrow, lament, and fury.”
“ though we may not always feel a deep, unconditional love for our children, that does not mean we love them any less. When our children disobey, when they cause harm to another, when they choose attitudes and actions that cut against the holiness that God desires, we will have an emotional response – if we truly love them.”
“ I know from scripture and from God’s own parenting that loving another doesn’t always feel good. That it isn’t always soft or pretty. That love wounds as much as it heals.”
“ why do we wonder at the depth and complexity of raising children? I am certain no other work on earth calls forth such deep, conflicting emotions. But even in these emotions we are in good company – in the company of a father who has allowed us to hear his own breaking, loving heart as he continually extend himself to his children.”
Myth 8; successful parents produce godly children
“ I am not sovereign over my children – God is. And God will use every aspect of my human parenting, even my sins and failures, to shape my children into who he desires them to be, for the sake of his kingdom.”
“ if God’s success as a parent is to be judged by us, his children, what can we conclude? God himself does not pass our parenting test.”
“Many of us as Christian parents have drifted into ‘spiritual determinism’: we have followed our cultures believe in psychological determinism (that parenting produces the child) but spiritualized it with Bible verses. This reflects our sinful bent to see ourselves as more essential and more in control then we actually are.”
“ it is not a sin to be overwhelmed; it is simply recognition of the responsibility God has given us.”
“ our children will make their choices, God will be sovereign, and god will adVance his kingdom.”
“Now I can focus more on my obedience than on my children’s weaknesses. I am not as likely to give up when a child persists in willfulness and I can continue trusting and relying upon God.”
Myth 9: God approves of only one family design
“ If we are vested in the biblical and cultural ideals of the family, and neither appears within reach, we can be tempted to give up. But surprising news from the Bible offers hope for all of us.”
“... it’s ironic that we often call our secular culture back to biblical family values when most families in the Bible looked nothing like our ideal of a family.”
“ it is Joseph whom we hold up as a beautiful example of God’s will accomplished. And so we must amend our of assumption that pain and sin in a family limit what God can do – with the truth of what he has done in such families, time and time again.”
“We know that many people would like to alter the traditional family as we know it. In the midst of these attacks, we rise up to protect family life. We celebrate families with the husband and wife who love each other and their children. But we must not privilege a narrowly defined model of the Christian family, punishing all others. Our less-than-ideal or simply unusual families can serve God’s great purposes. We must not worship one family model. We are call to worship God alone.”
“We will account for every part of our lives. But we have to let go of this idea that the only way God will save and sanctify our children is if we do our part exactly right and create the perfect Christian home: the right size family, right method of education and discipline, the right roles for husbands and wives, the right amount of church. The family is vitally important, but it is one means among others that God uses to shape his people and direct his purposes.”
“Parenting is not meant to cripple me with insufficiency but to lead me to God’s sufficiency.”
An unfortunate title imo, the content of the book nevertheless was solid gold.
What I most appreciate about this book is the author’s sound grasp and use of the WHOLE of scripture versus the proof texting that so many of the myths she dispels stand upon within entire Christian ministries and churches.
I tried to encapsulate main ideas via quotes from each chapter. I will list them here. Don’t let these quotes be a substitute for reading the entire book, however. There is so much more substance to be had from reading the whole book.
Myth1: Having children makes you happy and fulfilled
“ The questions, “ Is parenting really worth it?” and “Am I fulfilled as a parent?” are, finally, irrelevant. I Ask myself instead, “Am I parenting faithfully? Am I parenting consistently? Am I honoring God as I raise my children?” This is what I am responsible for. God is responsible for all the rest. Every day His sure hand is beneath my children just as it is beneath me.
This is our deepest hope and greatest pleasure. It is a hope that also frees our children as we release from them a weight they were never meant to bear: our expectations that they’ll make us happy. Then every moment of delight they bring is extra, grace upon grace, like a jig joyously erupting before startled audience. We can laugh for days in the unexpected dance.”
Myth 2: Nuturing your children is natural and instinctive
“For Too long our culture and our churches have made light of the life-altering crucibles of pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. While the motive has often been to affirm parenthood, the effect has ultimately been defeating. It can be hard to love our children, because biblical love calls us far beyond our own instincts and abilities. Biblical love challenges us at the very core of our being.”
“True biblical love is difficult to live out because it is a call to death.”
“ Love is not hard only for me. True biblical love is difficult for everyone!”
“We need to stop pretending that loving our children is natural and instinctive. No. It’s messy. It’s arduous. It’s costly.”
“Love will cost us our lives. If we expect otherwise, we may be tempted to give up along the way. But...God’s call to an impossible, dying-to-self love is already made possible. The love He calls us to, as hard as it is, is the love He Himself undeningly supplies.”
Myth 3: Parenting is your highest Calling
“When we turn ...to the one source of truth, we find many bible passages that challenge the assumption that as believing parents our highest calling is to our families.”
“Yes, God calls us to our own family, but He also calls us to the highway where a stranger from another family, ethnicity, and religion lies bleeding, a stranger whom God calls our ‘neighbor’ and commands us to love. The family reunion that awaits us at the end of time is not a reunion w our family of origin or the family we are raising but a reunion with God Our true Father & our blood bought brothers and sisters.”
Myth 4: Good parenting leads to happy children
“Holiness is the way to happiness.”
“ I am learning that it does not serve my children’s good to attempt to fulfill all their desires most of which are not about pursuing God but about pursuing other things nor is it my job to try to shield them from all of life‘s injustices or from the consequences of their decisions.”
Myth 5: If you find parenting difficult, you must not be following the right plan
“There is no set biblical way for children to behave or dress or talk or play. God has called us to create an environment for children where they can get a clear sense of love, forgiveness, and grace of God. On top of that, he has given us the mandate to build quality is like respect, honor, decency, fairness, and modesty into the corner of their character. God allows children a lot of latitude and how they live out their personality type within the boundaries of these wonderful values that is too much into original thoughts and ideas to create some mold that produces “the perfect Christian kid.”
As quoted by Dr. Tim Kimmel in his book “why Christian kids rebel”
“... fruitful parenting is more about people than process.”
“ knowing God and depending on him is the beginning of godly parenting.”
“ The hardest and most real work of parenting is done when I give up my own agenda and seek God‘s, when my heart asks to be molded to God’s will and character.”
“[God] parents, not according to an external list of rules, but according to his nature. Because he is a God of abounding love, he showers love and tenderness upon his children.”
“ The Gospel we teach most effectively is the one that we embody and walk out before our children, not the gospel that trips easily off our tongue.”
“ parenting is not a project or an experiment. Books and programs and prescriptions do not to raise children. No other parent or writer, no matter how many books they sell, no matter how many children they have raise, can know our children as God does or as we do.”
“ The only perfect parent – God himself – led a parenting life that was anything but expedient. His relationship with his son Israel was mercurial, thorny, time-consuming, and consistently inconvenient.”
“ If we misunderstand the idea that we are the hands and feet of Jesus to our children we slip further into error. We can assume a kind of omniscience over our children. We can believe that we are capable of seeing into their hearts and minds, and then we treat them according to our assumptions.”
“ What could be more countercultural then to aspire to the dependence of a child rather than the authority of an adult? The call in the Scriptures to imitate Jesus moves us in the same direction. I am convinced that the Bible’s command to “be like Christ” was not meant to empower us but to humble us. In the face of that call to perfection, we confront our own sin and discover the most essential piece of news we need to know about ourselves as parents: we are weak, fallible, and desperately in need of grace. I Experience this daily, recognizing again and again that rather than being Jesus, I am needing Jesus.”
“ it is not Jesus’s authority and omniscience that we are called to imitate but his humility, his servant hood, and his sacrifice. In this way alone are we his hands and his feet in our household.”
Myth 7: You Will Always Feel Unconditional Love For Your Children:
“ The Israelites sin was unimaginably great: desertion, abandonment, rejection of the love of the one who had given them life, who had lavished a perfect and undeserved love upon them, who would save them from slavery and brought them into a new land.”
“ elsewhere in scripture, God’s response to his called out people includes disgust, sorrow, lament, and fury.”
“ though we may not always feel a deep, unconditional love for our children, that does not mean we love them any less. When our children disobey, when they cause harm to another, when they choose attitudes and actions that cut against the holiness that God desires, we will have an emotional response – if we truly love them.”
“ I know from scripture and from God’s own parenting that loving another doesn’t always feel good. That it isn’t always soft or pretty. That love wounds as much as it heals.”
“ why do we wonder at the depth and complexity of raising children? I am certain no other work on earth calls forth such deep, conflicting emotions. But even in these emotions we are in good company – in the company of a father who has allowed us to hear his own breaking, loving heart as he continually extend himself to his children.”
Myth 8; successful parents produce godly children
“ I am not sovereign over my children – God is. And God will use every aspect of my human parenting, even my sins and failures, to shape my children into who he desires them to be, for the sake of his kingdom.”
“ if God’s success as a parent is to be judged by us, his children, what can we conclude? God himself does not pass our parenting test.”
“Many of us as Christian parents have drifted into ‘spiritual determinism’: we have followed our cultures believe in psychological determinism (that parenting produces the child) but spiritualized it with Bible verses. This reflects our sinful bent to see ourselves as more essential and more in control then we actually are.”
“ it is not a sin to be overwhelmed; it is simply recognition of the responsibility God has given us.”
“ our children will make their choices, God will be sovereign, and god will adVance his kingdom.”
“Now I can focus more on my obedience than on my children’s weaknesses. I am not as likely to give up when a child persists in willfulness and I can continue trusting and relying upon God.”
Myth 9: God approves of only one family design
“ If we are vested in the biblical and cultural ideals of the family, and neither appears within reach, we can be tempted to give up. But surprising news from the Bible offers hope for all of us.”
“... it’s ironic that we often call our secular culture back to biblical family values when most families in the Bible looked nothing like our ideal of a family.”
“ it is Joseph whom we hold up as a beautiful example of God’s will accomplished. And so we must amend our of assumption that pain and sin in a family limit what God can do – with the truth of what he has done in such families, time and time again.”
“We know that many people would like to alter the traditional family as we know it. In the midst of these attacks, we rise up to protect family life. We celebrate families with the husband and wife who love each other and their children. But we must not privilege a narrowly defined model of the Christian family, punishing all others. Our less-than-ideal or simply unusual families can serve God’s great purposes. We must not worship one family model. We are call to worship God alone.”
“We will account for every part of our lives. But we have to let go of this idea that the only way God will save and sanctify our children is if we do our part exactly right and create the perfect Christian home: the right size family, right method of education and discipline, the right roles for husbands and wives, the right amount of church. The family is vitally important, but it is one means among others that God uses to shape his people and direct his purposes.”
“Parenting is not meant to cripple me with insufficiency but to lead me to God’s sufficiency.”
July 12, 2018
Refreshing and encouraging! This should be the first parenting book anyone reads, by doing so it will lay a great foundation and help them weed out all the parenting books they DON'T need to read. ;)
June 30, 2015
Here are the myths:
1. Having children makes you happy and fulfilled.
2. Nurturing your children is natural and instinctive.
3. Parenting is your highest calling.
4. Good parenting leads to happy children.
5. If you find parenting difficult, you must not be following the right plan.
6. You represent Jesus to your children.
7. You will always feel unconditional love for your children.
8. Successful parents produce Godly children.
9. God approves of only one family design.
Some I completely 'get'; others I have learned the hard way. Some I still struggle with. I am a foolish woman, with too much zeal and not enough wisdom--I'm constantly charging ahead in my own strength, assuming I know how things should look and that I can, with enough effort, accomplish that vision. But it is all God's work. And His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I can trust His time and plan. When things look 'different', I can't dissolve in a puddle of anxiety and guilt. He calls me to keep my eyes on Him and His grace and sovereignty. He is able.
1. Having children makes you happy and fulfilled.
2. Nurturing your children is natural and instinctive.
3. Parenting is your highest calling.
4. Good parenting leads to happy children.
5. If you find parenting difficult, you must not be following the right plan.
6. You represent Jesus to your children.
7. You will always feel unconditional love for your children.
8. Successful parents produce Godly children.
9. God approves of only one family design.
Some I completely 'get'; others I have learned the hard way. Some I still struggle with. I am a foolish woman, with too much zeal and not enough wisdom--I'm constantly charging ahead in my own strength, assuming I know how things should look and that I can, with enough effort, accomplish that vision. But it is all God's work. And His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I can trust His time and plan. When things look 'different', I can't dissolve in a puddle of anxiety and guilt. He calls me to keep my eyes on Him and His grace and sovereignty. He is able.
January 23, 2014
Seems ironic that I'm finally reading a parenting book now that my kid has moved off to college. However, the author talks to parents in all stages, and I still benefited from the book. Twenty years ago, I remember a coworker telling me that parenting books made her feel terrible, because she always felt accused of doing everything wrong when she read them. This book is the antidote. The author encourages parents (both new and experienced)--not by empty platitudes, but by examining our culture's expectations about parenting (including the church's expectations) and comparing them with scripture's expectations. Removing unrealistic (and un-biblical) expectations lifts a heavy load of guilt and feelings of failure from parents who are trying to measure up. The chapters are quick reads, and each chapter ends with questions that can be used either for group study or private reflection. I definitely recommend this book to Christian parents in any stage.
January 30, 2020
Book Review
Title: Parenting Is Your Highest Calling: And 8 Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt
Author: Leslie Leyland Fields
Genre: Parenting
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Review: Here are the myths:
1. Having children makes you happy and fulfilled
2. Nurturing your children is natural and instinctive
3. Parenting is your highest calling
4. Good parenting leads to happy children
5. If you find parenting difficult, you must not be following the right plan
6. You represent Jesus to your children
7. You will always feel unconditional love for your children
8. Successful parents produce Godly children
9. God approves of only one family design
Some of these I completely related to and others not at all. My Bible Study recently went through this book together. Though I have to admit we didn’t finish the last couple myths. The main lesson we learned from this book is that we need to trust in God and be at peace with the fact our children lives are in His hands not ours.
Synopsis: Why am I not a more joyful parent? Why aren't my kids turning out as I expected? Why do I always feel as if I'm not doing enough for my children? Is Parenting Supposed to Be This Difficult? As a mother of six, Leslie Leyland Fields knows firsthand the insecurities and questions that come with rearing children. In Parenting Is Your Highest Calling, she tackles nine myths about parenting
This book in 3 emojis:
😊 🙌🏼 🏅
Title: Parenting Is Your Highest Calling: And 8 Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt
Author: Leslie Leyland Fields
Genre: Parenting
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Review: Here are the myths:
1. Having children makes you happy and fulfilled
2. Nurturing your children is natural and instinctive
3. Parenting is your highest calling
4. Good parenting leads to happy children
5. If you find parenting difficult, you must not be following the right plan
6. You represent Jesus to your children
7. You will always feel unconditional love for your children
8. Successful parents produce Godly children
9. God approves of only one family design
Some of these I completely related to and others not at all. My Bible Study recently went through this book together. Though I have to admit we didn’t finish the last couple myths. The main lesson we learned from this book is that we need to trust in God and be at peace with the fact our children lives are in His hands not ours.
Synopsis: Why am I not a more joyful parent? Why aren't my kids turning out as I expected? Why do I always feel as if I'm not doing enough for my children? Is Parenting Supposed to Be This Difficult? As a mother of six, Leslie Leyland Fields knows firsthand the insecurities and questions that come with rearing children. In Parenting Is Your Highest Calling, she tackles nine myths about parenting
This book in 3 emojis:
😊 🙌🏼 🏅
January 8, 2020
This book might appeal to a very narrow band of evangelical Christian, but for me the writing was poor as were the arguments. It wasn't helpful or encouraging in terms of parenting and the Biblical illustrations felt forced. The myths in themselves are all true myths, but none of them were addressed in a way that was helpful. Please note, though, I only managed to get half way through before having to quit.
September 12, 2021
Thank you!
I’ve spent far too many years beating myself up or paralyzed in fear for my kids. Many of a parents worst nightmares have become realities for my husband and myself. We are now in our sixties, raising our teenage granddaughter, who we have adopted. Fears for her future loom large, but you have reinforced my deep belief that God is faithful to carry her. My role is to parent faithfully!
I’ve spent far too many years beating myself up or paralyzed in fear for my kids. Many of a parents worst nightmares have become realities for my husband and myself. We are now in our sixties, raising our teenage granddaughter, who we have adopted. Fears for her future loom large, but you have reinforced my deep belief that God is faithful to carry her. My role is to parent faithfully!
July 7, 2018
This book is a great read! I am so glad I read it!! Fields reminded me that I have to put my Trust in God and get on my knees for my children. She encourages moms to get rid of the guilt we have and raise our children the way we feel best for each child.
October 10, 2024
Probably one of my favorite parenting books. It had the most unique and honest look into Scripture and also she shared her own story and motherhood experience in such a vulnerable, relatable way. It is not a how-to book but really a book to help you lean on God in freedom as you parent.
June 30, 2019
Great book! Really got me thinking about family and motherhood from the context of the Bible.
January 29, 2020
So helpful, biblical, and freeing!
April 23, 2025
I recommend this book to all (new) moms!
November 22, 2013
Author had a few good major points, but the rest of the book I did not like. Made a lot of assumptions and took several other authors out of context to fit her point. She contradicted herself in some points. Labeled some behaviors as unfavorable, but seemed biased against the very measures that would counteract those behaviors. I can see how it might be helpful for a parent of an older child who hasn't turned out as the parent wished, but I can also see how it might be dangerous for a parent of younger children. It might give the impression that it doesn't really matter what we do as parents since the Lord will have His way with them anyway. We are called to diligently train and discipline out children. Yes, I agree with the author that we are called to be faithful and leave the results with Him. But she seems biased against certain child rearing methods even though she says she's not biased. She sets up false dichotomies several times. You don't have to choose between disciplining your child and loving him. You can love him tenderly AND have strict boundaries and firm discipline. In my opinion, you should have both. The end of the book sort of smoothed some of these things out, but I still can not recommend it.
July 17, 2014
Reread in spring 2014 as part of a discussion through the moms' group at my church:
This was just as great the second time I read it. I especially appreciated getting to discuss this with other moms as we read it together.
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August 2012:
This was a particularly freeing book for me. I thought she did a really nice job of navigating through the varying parenting philosophies without approving/condemning of any of them necessarily and showing how important it is to read Scripture to see what is the truth that God has for us.
(Besides, the author is an Alaskan and a foodie too - thanks for the recommendation Vic!)
This was just as great the second time I read it. I especially appreciated getting to discuss this with other moms as we read it together.
******
August 2012:
This was a particularly freeing book for me. I thought she did a really nice job of navigating through the varying parenting philosophies without approving/condemning of any of them necessarily and showing how important it is to read Scripture to see what is the truth that God has for us.
(Besides, the author is an Alaskan and a foodie too - thanks for the recommendation Vic!)
December 7, 2008
I probably wouldn't have picked this up if it weren't written by a friend/Mama, PhD contributor, the brilliant Leslie Leyland Fields. I was never much into parenting/advice books even in the confusing early days of parenting, and I'm even less inclined to them now. But, Leslie's an honest and smart writer, and her book offers common sense words of wisdom and a refreshingly feminist perspective on parenting for those at any stage of the journey.
September 25, 2012
This was one of the better parenting books I've read recently. Fields doesn't really say anything here that I didn't already know, but she does say it eloquently. I did struggle at times, since Fields is (I'm assuming from her statements) an evangelical Christian, and as a Lutheran I have a hard time with some of her theology, especially her anti-homosexual comments.
December 28, 2011
Great book for a new parent like me. Probably great for old ones, although I am suspicious that the more experience one has a parent, the less ground-breaking these ideas seem. Fantastic material - my only complaint (with apologies to the author) is that in the hands of a more accomplished writer/theologian, this book would be an even greater success.
December 8, 2013
I never recommend parenting books, as I rarely read them. I find what works for me usually doesn't work for another mom, and vice versa. But this one? Yes, please read it. Leslie encourages us to parent "faithfully" not "perfectly", and really, what more can anyone ask of imperfect people parenting imperfect little people?
February 4, 2010
A nice enough collection of essays about some myths of parenting. Some were more obvious than others and I mostly skimmed through. It really boils down to letting God be God, and realizing that your children's fate and faith are in his hands, not yours.
Read
August 15, 2010I enjoyed this book as it showed how God fathers/mothers his children and how those children still have a "choice". Sometimes as parents we fill it is our responsibility and fault that our children choose as they do, but this book shows how God is in control, we just need to stay close to Him.
Want to read
November 9, 2008My friend, Leslie, gave me her book this morning at church. I can't wait to read it!
December 6, 2008
See my review at myshelf.com coming in January!
June 23, 2009
This book was exactly what I needed to read! It offered me the insight I needed to find freedom and get away for guilt. I would recommend it to any mom, especially those with toddlers and above.
July 6, 2010
This really helped me put some things in perspective. I don't agree with everything I read, but it was good to step back and look at some of my preconceived notions about parenting.
April 29, 2011
Very refreshing and reassuring book by Alaska mom/commercial fisherman and writing professor in Seattle. I plan to read another book by her soon that celebrates faith and food.
March 30, 2012
Loved this book. It changed the way I deal with my kids and look at myself as a parent. It truly set me free
October 24, 2012
Didn't finish the entire book yet - but read through some of the key chapters as part of our Empowered to Connect reading.
April 19, 2013
I appreciate how she tackles the most common Christian advice given to moms. Even if said with good intentions, unbiblical standards are dangerous! I enjoyed this book and also needed its truth.
May 3, 2013
The ONLY parenting book I ever recommend. It will set you free.
January 1, 2015
I love this book So freeing!
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