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Understanding the Wounded Heart
The world wounds us. The devil lies to us. We vow never to let it happen again. We spend our lives picking the fruit of our wounds. It doesn’t have to stay this way. This book introduces a simple model for understanding the wounded heart and offers some practical, transferable tools for experiencing God’s healing and transformation. Understanding the Wounded Heart builds on the core model taught at Deeper Walk seminars of wounds-lies-vows-strongholds. It explains four tools for helping people experience building joy, taking thoughts captive, forgiveness, and listening prayer.
170 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 21, 2014
84 people are currently reading
156 people want to read
About the author
Marcus Warner
22 books23 followersMARCUS WARNER (M.Div., Th.M. and D.Min. Trinity Evangelical Divinity School) is the president of Deeper Walk International. He is a former pastor and college professor who has written several books on topics ranging from how to study the Bible to spiritual warfare, emotional healing, and leadership. Marcus has done training events for organizations such as Navigators, Willow Creek Prison Ministry, and Moody Church. He has traveled the world with Deeper Walk equipping people on the front lines of ministry with practical tools for dealing with root issues that keep people and ministries stuck and unable to go deeper into what God has for them
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
July 2, 2025
This is a self reflective book that did take me awhile to get through. It was recommended by a mentor and someone who I look up to so much. This book taught me a lot about prayer, deep reflection in areas of lies and wounds and leads through journaling and praying through them. I will pick this up many times in my lifetime and hopefully adapt to some of the practices that were presented to help my mind recognize Truth easier.
April 28, 2021
Quick and to the point
My brother recommended this book for me and I found it very relevant to what I’m going through right now. I’m going to reread it and really focus on the exercises this time. There are so many issues I never knew I had that definitely need to be addressed.
My brother recommended this book for me and I found it very relevant to what I’m going through right now. I’m going to reread it and really focus on the exercises this time. There are so many issues I never knew I had that definitely need to be addressed.
June 4, 2021
"People have to feel validated before they are comforted, or they won't recover." ~Marcus Warner
Sometimes like bones a broken heart doesn't heal right. In this book, Marcus Warner gives attention to the heart that has been wounded with hopes of bringing it further healing. Because joy can feel elusive to a person who is suffering, his first chapter focuses on building back your capacity for joy.
In the joy chapter he also outlines what I would call basic heart first aid. These are foundational communication skills that can be learned and practiced. I believe every human being ought to be taught this to aid them in their relationships and interactions with other people and people groups.
1) Validate. To validate someone is to communicate that you see and understand that he or she is hurting or has been wounded based on the person's objective and observable signs, words, or behaviors. To validate an emotion or another person's perspective does not mean you must agree with it, but rather it communicates that you see and acknowledge it as being real, because it is part of the other person in front of you, who is real.
2) Comfort. Comfort is about making bigger emotions (such as sadness, anger, fear, AKA "pain") smaller. In our broken ways of operating, we often make the mistake of offering comfort too soon, before validation. The order is crucial, and I would argue that this is a built in natural order in how humans are universally created and designed. You can't effectively offer comfort to a person whose emotions you have not acknowledged as real, because you are dealing with an alternate person, not with the reality which is the actual person right in front of you.
3) Recover. The author uses the example of a little boy who falls off his bike, scrapes his knee, and starts crying. Rather than shouting from afar or rushing in with words of comfort such as, "Oh you'll be okay" or "You're okay. You don't need to cry", he says the first step is to acknowledge the tears and scraped knee. An example might look like, "Oh my! You took quite a fall. Are you okay?" You have witnessed and show that you "see" the child, which builds trust and begins to calm him as he knows he is not alone in his distress, however brief or extended. You also don't offer premature reassurance with words like "You're okay", but rather you ask the child himself if he is okay. This is another reinforcement of the validation that something troubling has happened, and gives him the chance to begin to think through, observe, and communicate his own experience. The natural order is comforting and naturally healing in it's own way. If okay, the child will then be fine and move on.
As we mature through life, becoming more familiar with our own humanity and the ways people work, we will also get better at validating, comforting, and recovering the parts of us that have been injured by life. While humans do not outgrow their need for healing interactions with other fellow human beings, we also learn to bear with one another with patience and forgiveness. He describes forgiveness as "cancelling the debt" which I found to be extremely helpful language. Using the acronym GAMES, he describes ways to begin cultivating a mind of appreciation, which counteracts residual negativity that may linger inside us: Gratitude, Anticipation, Memories, Experiences, Songs.
With every chapter there are prayers and reflective questions. He encourages what he calls "listening prayer", which is to bring your particular pain, memory, or situation before God. Emphasizing that God does not lead us into anything contrary to his revealed will for our lives, that God's will and heart for us is one of love and restoration, we can trust him with our hurting and healing hearts.
Sometimes like bones a broken heart doesn't heal right. In this book, Marcus Warner gives attention to the heart that has been wounded with hopes of bringing it further healing. Because joy can feel elusive to a person who is suffering, his first chapter focuses on building back your capacity for joy.
In the joy chapter he also outlines what I would call basic heart first aid. These are foundational communication skills that can be learned and practiced. I believe every human being ought to be taught this to aid them in their relationships and interactions with other people and people groups.
1) Validate. To validate someone is to communicate that you see and understand that he or she is hurting or has been wounded based on the person's objective and observable signs, words, or behaviors. To validate an emotion or another person's perspective does not mean you must agree with it, but rather it communicates that you see and acknowledge it as being real, because it is part of the other person in front of you, who is real.
2) Comfort. Comfort is about making bigger emotions (such as sadness, anger, fear, AKA "pain") smaller. In our broken ways of operating, we often make the mistake of offering comfort too soon, before validation. The order is crucial, and I would argue that this is a built in natural order in how humans are universally created and designed. You can't effectively offer comfort to a person whose emotions you have not acknowledged as real, because you are dealing with an alternate person, not with the reality which is the actual person right in front of you.
3) Recover. The author uses the example of a little boy who falls off his bike, scrapes his knee, and starts crying. Rather than shouting from afar or rushing in with words of comfort such as, "Oh you'll be okay" or "You're okay. You don't need to cry", he says the first step is to acknowledge the tears and scraped knee. An example might look like, "Oh my! You took quite a fall. Are you okay?" You have witnessed and show that you "see" the child, which builds trust and begins to calm him as he knows he is not alone in his distress, however brief or extended. You also don't offer premature reassurance with words like "You're okay", but rather you ask the child himself if he is okay. This is another reinforcement of the validation that something troubling has happened, and gives him the chance to begin to think through, observe, and communicate his own experience. The natural order is comforting and naturally healing in it's own way. If okay, the child will then be fine and move on.
As we mature through life, becoming more familiar with our own humanity and the ways people work, we will also get better at validating, comforting, and recovering the parts of us that have been injured by life. While humans do not outgrow their need for healing interactions with other fellow human beings, we also learn to bear with one another with patience and forgiveness. He describes forgiveness as "cancelling the debt" which I found to be extremely helpful language. Using the acronym GAMES, he describes ways to begin cultivating a mind of appreciation, which counteracts residual negativity that may linger inside us: Gratitude, Anticipation, Memories, Experiences, Songs.
With every chapter there are prayers and reflective questions. He encourages what he calls "listening prayer", which is to bring your particular pain, memory, or situation before God. Emphasizing that God does not lead us into anything contrary to his revealed will for our lives, that God's will and heart for us is one of love and restoration, we can trust him with our hurting and healing hearts.
August 12, 2024
“Too often people to find themselves by their baggage.”
⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is a nonfiction, Christian living book.
This book gives practical advice on how to heal things we feel broken in. Using specific styles of prayer and not being influenced by outside thoughts, but being intentional about our thoughts and dismissing those thoughts that we are not in control of. This book also mentions and talks about spiritual warfare.
This was an OK read. It has a discussion guide as well as a journal section to work through as you go through the book. Many of the concepts I’ve heard before, but overall it’s an easy to digest read. If you’re using the book to help you with personal growth it’s obviously more difficult to navigate this there will be more time and effort needed in order to make those kinds of changes.
⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is a nonfiction, Christian living book.
This book gives practical advice on how to heal things we feel broken in. Using specific styles of prayer and not being influenced by outside thoughts, but being intentional about our thoughts and dismissing those thoughts that we are not in control of. This book also mentions and talks about spiritual warfare.
This was an OK read. It has a discussion guide as well as a journal section to work through as you go through the book. Many of the concepts I’ve heard before, but overall it’s an easy to digest read. If you’re using the book to help you with personal growth it’s obviously more difficult to navigate this there will be more time and effort needed in order to make those kinds of changes.
May 8, 2025
Dr Warner has such a great way of explaining things that have happened to you in a way that you didn’t even understand for yourself. He explains things so clearly and simply. His step by step instructions for healing from wounds and explaining the part that the spiritual world has in them is fantastic. A must read for any Bible-believing Christian.
September 12, 2018
A fairly level headed approach to "Deliverance ministry." I felt like I had read all of this in other places but Warner synthesized well. There were some occasional stories and/or statements that seemed a bit out there, but overall it was pretty good.
July 23, 2017
I liked the process that was taught within these pages, but they need a new editor. If you can get past that it is a good read teaching a prayer style similar to the Immanuel Approach.
December 31, 2020
I can’t recommend this book enough. Has instructions on how to heal our hearts and restore them back to their intended purpose.
March 29, 2022
This is an absolute must read for every follower of Jesus.
February 15, 2024
planning to use as a go to reference in helping others
September 8, 2024
Excellent book! Practical and helpful. A must read for everyone!
November 5, 2024
The tools we need
So many ways to invite God in to heal out hearts.
This is a book to read periodically to bring hope of change and healing to the wounds life inflicts
So many ways to invite God in to heal out hearts.
This is a book to read periodically to bring hope of change and healing to the wounds life inflicts
December 2, 2024
Phenomenal breakdown for counseling through hurts and trauma that have left a spiritual scar.
March 7, 2025
This is a book that takes awhile to digest. I started and then came back to it. This is a book I recommend to read in a small group or with a partner.
March 21, 2025
So much to unpack here. I’ll be reading this again.
August 6, 2016
A straight forward book on the effect of heart wounds in our lives, and the emotinal and spiritual impact when they are not dealt with. Warner describes different type of unresolved wounds as being - Wounds, Lies, Vows, and Strongholds.
He describes tools that can be used to heal wounds and break strongholds that have been taken in our lives - Capturing thoughts, Forgiveness, Listening Prayer, and Joy.
The chapters on listening prayer and joy were the most useful for me. Listening prayer is the idea inviting God to speak to me about how he sees me and the wound so that I can accept His view of the situation instead of my perceptions. And joy being to cherish and live in the love and commitment God has for me.
Warner gives many examples of people who have found healing throught these steps and each chapter provides practical exercises at the end to put what he has written about into practice.
He describes tools that can be used to heal wounds and break strongholds that have been taken in our lives - Capturing thoughts, Forgiveness, Listening Prayer, and Joy.
The chapters on listening prayer and joy were the most useful for me. Listening prayer is the idea inviting God to speak to me about how he sees me and the wound so that I can accept His view of the situation instead of my perceptions. And joy being to cherish and live in the love and commitment God has for me.
Warner gives many examples of people who have found healing throught these steps and each chapter provides practical exercises at the end to put what he has written about into practice.
November 1, 2015
This book was really helpful. It was easy to read and a great introduction to Deeper Walk International. I went through his 8 week level one class videos with a group. This book summarizes the main points of the class really well. The material is very helpful to walking closely with Jesus.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews