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Your Dog Is Your Mirror: The Emotional Capacity of Our Dogs and Ourselves
In 'YOUR DOG IS YOUR MIRROR', dog trainer Kevin Behan proposes a radical new model for understanding canine behavior: a dog's behavior and emotion, indeed its very cognition, are driven by our emotion. The dog doesn't respond to its owner based on what the owner thinks, says, or does; it responds to what the owner feels. And in this way, dogs can actually put people back in touch with their own emotions.
Behran was originally trained under the dominance theory by his father, John Behran, one of the first in America to make dog training a career. But he eventually came to believe that what made the modern dog trainable was not the dominance hierarchy but the dog's ability to work as a cooperative group member in the hunt. This ability then evolved into an emotional capacity that perfectly complements human emotion.
Behan demonstrates that dogs are connected more profoundly than has ever been imagined - by heart - and that this approach to dog cognition can help us understand many of dogs' most inscrutable behaviors. This groundbreaking, provocative book opens the door to a whole new understanding between species, and perhaps a whole new understanding of ourselves.
RUNNING TIME => 12hrs. and 8mins.
©2011 Kevin Behran (P)2020 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.
Behran was originally trained under the dominance theory by his father, John Behran, one of the first in America to make dog training a career. But he eventually came to believe that what made the modern dog trainable was not the dominance hierarchy but the dog's ability to work as a cooperative group member in the hunt. This ability then evolved into an emotional capacity that perfectly complements human emotion.
Behan demonstrates that dogs are connected more profoundly than has ever been imagined - by heart - and that this approach to dog cognition can help us understand many of dogs' most inscrutable behaviors. This groundbreaking, provocative book opens the door to a whole new understanding between species, and perhaps a whole new understanding of ourselves.
RUNNING TIME => 12hrs. and 8mins.
©2011 Kevin Behran (P)2020 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.
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First published February 15, 2011
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About the author
Kevin Behan
5 books15 followersKevin Behan grew up on his parent’s farm in rural Connecticut immersed in a landscape of natural beauty and surrounded by dogs. Kevin’s father, John Behan, founded Canine College, trained dogs in the Canine Corps in WWII and was the first in America to train protection dogs for hospitals, police units, and even retail stores such as Macy’s. Kevin worked in his father’s kennel where he encountered every possible type of dog exhibiting every type of behavior. Consequently, Kevin grew up without judgment about dog behavior, even aggression, as everything dogs did was taken as a matter of course.
Kevin trained his first dog, a poodle named Onyx, at age ten. As Kevin matured, so did his ideas about his experiences and the behaviors he witnessed. By carefully watching the workings of nature, Kevin began to see that what made the modern dog adaptable and trainable was not the dominance hierarchy, as taught to him by his father, but the dog’s ability to work as a cooperative group member in the hunt. Influenced by European police dog trainers and a German shepherding sage named Mannel, Kevin’s theories and techniques came together in the 1980’s as Natural Dog Training. Kevin then started his own kennel, Canine Arts, in Brookfield, Connecticut and published his first book, Natural Dog Training in 1992. Using techniques totally unique, Kevin has trained hundreds of police, protection, and border control dogs, as well as thousands of America’s pets. He has become the nation’s foremost expert on the rehabilitation of aggressive and problem dogs, which is now where he concentrates most of his work. A seasoned lecturer and seminar host, Kevin’s presentations go well beyond the training of dogs and into the very core of canine behavior. He has pioneered the Natural Dog Training movement with his articles and theories on energy, the linkage between dogs and emotion, prey vs. predator model, as well as instrumental training techniques like pushing and eye contact.
Kevin now lives with his family on their 60-acre farm in beautiful Southern Vermont
Kevin trained his first dog, a poodle named Onyx, at age ten. As Kevin matured, so did his ideas about his experiences and the behaviors he witnessed. By carefully watching the workings of nature, Kevin began to see that what made the modern dog adaptable and trainable was not the dominance hierarchy, as taught to him by his father, but the dog’s ability to work as a cooperative group member in the hunt. Influenced by European police dog trainers and a German shepherding sage named Mannel, Kevin’s theories and techniques came together in the 1980’s as Natural Dog Training. Kevin then started his own kennel, Canine Arts, in Brookfield, Connecticut and published his first book, Natural Dog Training in 1992. Using techniques totally unique, Kevin has trained hundreds of police, protection, and border control dogs, as well as thousands of America’s pets. He has become the nation’s foremost expert on the rehabilitation of aggressive and problem dogs, which is now where he concentrates most of his work. A seasoned lecturer and seminar host, Kevin’s presentations go well beyond the training of dogs and into the very core of canine behavior. He has pioneered the Natural Dog Training movement with his articles and theories on energy, the linkage between dogs and emotion, prey vs. predator model, as well as instrumental training techniques like pushing and eye contact.
Kevin now lives with his family on their 60-acre farm in beautiful Southern Vermont
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 192 reviews
July 30, 2011
The marketing and jacket copy for Your Dog is Your Mirror swoon over the author’s amazing insights. What insights? The bulk of the book is given over to describing a novel and bizarre theory that Behan devised at the age of 23, having (according to him) read and rejected everything that biology and behavioral science had to say about dog behavior and training. One morning, as he was letting the dogs his father boarded out of their kennels, he had the epiphany that “None of the dogs were entertaining any intention whatsoever, even though many looked as if they had the specific intent and goal of getting outside, and some appeared to understand what I expected of them … I now knew there was no intention in anything a dog might do.”
Instead, he says, everything a dog does is a reflection of the owner’s emotions, both present and past, conscious and unconscious, and in fact, could be a reaction to any experience the owner has ever had. Despite having worked with, in his own estimation, several thousand dogs, Behan provides few firsthand examples to illustrate his theories. The anecdotes he does give are “as told to him” by training clients, not behaviors he personally witnessed. Nonetheless, he feels confident enough in his theories to determine that one client’s dog reportedly habitually left a bit of food in his bowl because the dog’s owner always leaves some food on her plate; the dog is connecting with whatever emotional issue causes the owner to do so. Another client’s dog is aggressive toward children because, Behan discovers, the owner feels lasting pain and guilt over having “not been there” for her daughters when they were young, many years earlier.
Much of the book is a sort of memoir and retelling of his “discoveries” about dog consciousness; there is also considerable psychoanalysis of the humans who own the dogs he trains. The book does not address multiple-dog households where each dog has a very different personality or the behavior or dogs who live and interact with multiple humans. It also does not offer any insights that would help readers figure out what their dogs are thinking (well of course it doesn't; the author denies that dogs -- or any non-human animals -- can think!). While he does reject his father's approach to training, which was based on dominance and use of force, he does not describe his methods or propose an alternative method.
While I agree with Behan that emotion is a primary driver of dog (as well as human) behavior, I strongly disagree that it is the dog's owner’s emotion that is solely responsible for the dog’s behavior. I also completely reject any notion of dogs that denies their considerable cognitive abilities, including thinking and planning and, yes, forming intentions. Dogs are separate beings from us, not merely empty vessels that reflect the worst of our emotional pasts back to us. They are brilliant and intuitive beings who deserve to be loved and valued for the individuals they are. Regarding them as our “mirrors” — as extensions of ourselves — is arrogant and egocentric and a terrible disservice to all dogs.
Instead, he says, everything a dog does is a reflection of the owner’s emotions, both present and past, conscious and unconscious, and in fact, could be a reaction to any experience the owner has ever had. Despite having worked with, in his own estimation, several thousand dogs, Behan provides few firsthand examples to illustrate his theories. The anecdotes he does give are “as told to him” by training clients, not behaviors he personally witnessed. Nonetheless, he feels confident enough in his theories to determine that one client’s dog reportedly habitually left a bit of food in his bowl because the dog’s owner always leaves some food on her plate; the dog is connecting with whatever emotional issue causes the owner to do so. Another client’s dog is aggressive toward children because, Behan discovers, the owner feels lasting pain and guilt over having “not been there” for her daughters when they were young, many years earlier.
Much of the book is a sort of memoir and retelling of his “discoveries” about dog consciousness; there is also considerable psychoanalysis of the humans who own the dogs he trains. The book does not address multiple-dog households where each dog has a very different personality or the behavior or dogs who live and interact with multiple humans. It also does not offer any insights that would help readers figure out what their dogs are thinking (well of course it doesn't; the author denies that dogs -- or any non-human animals -- can think!). While he does reject his father's approach to training, which was based on dominance and use of force, he does not describe his methods or propose an alternative method.
While I agree with Behan that emotion is a primary driver of dog (as well as human) behavior, I strongly disagree that it is the dog's owner’s emotion that is solely responsible for the dog’s behavior. I also completely reject any notion of dogs that denies their considerable cognitive abilities, including thinking and planning and, yes, forming intentions. Dogs are separate beings from us, not merely empty vessels that reflect the worst of our emotional pasts back to us. They are brilliant and intuitive beings who deserve to be loved and valued for the individuals they are. Regarding them as our “mirrors” — as extensions of ourselves — is arrogant and egocentric and a terrible disservice to all dogs.
February 15, 2013
Caveat: I only read the first 30 pages. It wasn't worth my time continuing.
The author makes some really strange statements about dogs and tries to add a scientific perspective. Problem is, none of his assertions are backed by science, proof, logical argument, nothing. This book made no sense to me and I'm a PhD scientist.
I finally stopped reading at this statement, "Dogs want what a human being wants just because the human wants it. This is why a dog fetches a stick and why a dog sits for a cookie. A dog has no idea that sitting earns a food reward. " Really?!
The author makes some really strange statements about dogs and tries to add a scientific perspective. Problem is, none of his assertions are backed by science, proof, logical argument, nothing. This book made no sense to me and I'm a PhD scientist.
I finally stopped reading at this statement, "Dogs want what a human being wants just because the human wants it. This is why a dog fetches a stick and why a dog sits for a cookie. A dog has no idea that sitting earns a food reward. " Really?!
October 31, 2017
Although the way he explains the theory can be a little confusing, the underlying theme of this book totally rang true. I felt as if I finally understood what was really going on with my dogs (particularly my fearful, aggressive one). It helped me understand that the way to live in harmony with my dogs was to help move their energy in a way which resolved their "issues," which were really my issues. So in effect, by working with your dogs energy, you are really just working with your own energy, and that is the what heals the human and the dog at the same time.
This is a really difficult read for people who are into Cesar and dominance training. It's almost the complete opposite of dominance theory, because instead of controlling and inhibiting your dogs natural prey drive, you use that drive to allow your dog to move in harmony with you. The prey drive is what ultimately attracts your dog to you, and also, it is through the channel of the prey drive that you achieve the most stellar obedience. That's why it's called "Natural" dog training, because you work with the dog's true nature. Dominance training is about eliminating the dog's true nature, which ultimately makes them scared and more likely to strike out in an aggressive manner.
It's analogous to Natural Horsemanship, so if you think of that, but then apply it to a predator instead of prey animal, you have the same basic premise just different techniques.
This is a really difficult read for people who are into Cesar and dominance training. It's almost the complete opposite of dominance theory, because instead of controlling and inhibiting your dogs natural prey drive, you use that drive to allow your dog to move in harmony with you. The prey drive is what ultimately attracts your dog to you, and also, it is through the channel of the prey drive that you achieve the most stellar obedience. That's why it's called "Natural" dog training, because you work with the dog's true nature. Dominance training is about eliminating the dog's true nature, which ultimately makes them scared and more likely to strike out in an aggressive manner.
It's analogous to Natural Horsemanship, so if you think of that, but then apply it to a predator instead of prey animal, you have the same basic premise just different techniques.
August 1, 2012
"Burying the Lead"
Throughout most of this book I got a very vivid picture of Mr. Behan's childhood and his relationship with his father. I got a less vivid picture of his dog theory. I think this is because the book was poorly edited. There's good or at least thought-provoking content in here, but it's buried beneath a river of tangents and hammered into a confused and confusing framework.
It wasn't until Part IV ("The Dog in Your Life") that I was able to sink my teeth into the jute of the matter. Behan's theory is essentially that dogs don't "think" or have any sense of time or forethought or memory. Instead, they run on pure primordial emotion. I can partially buy this from a neurological perspective but I think it's a reductionist outlook. I'm no scientist or animal behavior expert but my "waaaaiiiiit a minute" alarms were going off a lot while reading.
From the human perspective, Behan's theory boils down to Freudian psychoanalysis, specifically object relations. "What do you like about your dog? Well, that's what your parents told you you needed to do/possess to earn love. What don't you like? Well, that's what you're repressing about your own nature." I personally do believe that object relations and early childhood experiences shape your personality and are the source of a lot of maladaptive behavior. So, I can swing with that.
What I can also buy is that the dominance model of dog training is unnervingly popular and seldom questioned. I like to see criticism of that model because otherwise it will never advance. Again, toward the end of the book (the final section should have been the beginning) Behan discusses the general decline in mental and physical health of formerly stalwart breeds (labs, dobermans, retrievers, etc). He concludes this is reflective of everything that's wrong with the dog industry and how dog-owners are educated. I don't know if he's right but I'd like to see that hypothesis tested. I also agree that there has to be a better way than applying the same trendy salve and feeding dogs anti-depressants.
I don't know. I can speak more to the text itself than the content. You could trim much of this book, leaving only the fourth section intact, and totally preserve (if not improve) reader comprehension. Every chapter needs more examples of Behan's training in action, to elucidate the abstract principles of his theory--which is hard to grasp because of its sheer novelty. Maybe that's what "Natural Dog Training" (another book by Behan) does. I have no idea. I just know I spent a really long time slowly reading this book and dog-earing (heh) page after page, only to feel like I was mostly chasing my own tail. The fourth section works best because it begins to bring in more relevant examples of Behan's actual training.
Also I wish the word "sensual" was used less, especially in connection with guts and haunches and o-ring valves. I get it and all but I was still left feeling vaguely dirty.
Throughout most of this book I got a very vivid picture of Mr. Behan's childhood and his relationship with his father. I got a less vivid picture of his dog theory. I think this is because the book was poorly edited. There's good or at least thought-provoking content in here, but it's buried beneath a river of tangents and hammered into a confused and confusing framework.
It wasn't until Part IV ("The Dog in Your Life") that I was able to sink my teeth into the jute of the matter. Behan's theory is essentially that dogs don't "think" or have any sense of time or forethought or memory. Instead, they run on pure primordial emotion. I can partially buy this from a neurological perspective but I think it's a reductionist outlook. I'm no scientist or animal behavior expert but my "waaaaiiiiit a minute" alarms were going off a lot while reading.
From the human perspective, Behan's theory boils down to Freudian psychoanalysis, specifically object relations. "What do you like about your dog? Well, that's what your parents told you you needed to do/possess to earn love. What don't you like? Well, that's what you're repressing about your own nature." I personally do believe that object relations and early childhood experiences shape your personality and are the source of a lot of maladaptive behavior. So, I can swing with that.
What I can also buy is that the dominance model of dog training is unnervingly popular and seldom questioned. I like to see criticism of that model because otherwise it will never advance. Again, toward the end of the book (the final section should have been the beginning) Behan discusses the general decline in mental and physical health of formerly stalwart breeds (labs, dobermans, retrievers, etc). He concludes this is reflective of everything that's wrong with the dog industry and how dog-owners are educated. I don't know if he's right but I'd like to see that hypothesis tested. I also agree that there has to be a better way than applying the same trendy salve and feeding dogs anti-depressants.
I don't know. I can speak more to the text itself than the content. You could trim much of this book, leaving only the fourth section intact, and totally preserve (if not improve) reader comprehension. Every chapter needs more examples of Behan's training in action, to elucidate the abstract principles of his theory--which is hard to grasp because of its sheer novelty. Maybe that's what "Natural Dog Training" (another book by Behan) does. I have no idea. I just know I spent a really long time slowly reading this book and dog-earing (heh) page after page, only to feel like I was mostly chasing my own tail. The fourth section works best because it begins to bring in more relevant examples of Behan's actual training.
Also I wish the word "sensual" was used less, especially in connection with guts and haunches and o-ring valves. I get it and all but I was still left feeling vaguely dirty.
April 26, 2013
Although the title and cover suggested this book may help either my emotional issues or help with dog training, it did neither. The author is quite esoteric- science cannot help decipher the natural world, according to him, rather it is only real if it feels right. I read 2/3 before giving up- after the intro the author delves into his past and tries to explain his theories. Reads like a memoir.
March 6, 2012
This book was a disappointment to me. My biggest complaint would be that it was written more like a college text rather than for the general public. A brief example: "If they go by the little brain in the gut, then they will act in tandem, so that one will recapitulate the principle of emotional conductivity in the other, and social behavior will inevitably result." I also thought that some of his theories were a bit over the top and that a lot of what he does and says has to do with his relationship with his father which he still seems to be trying to resolve.
That said, he did have some good points. He comes from the stand point that a dog is a dog, not a human, and that we humans have to learn to understand why a dog behaves as he does, and not put human reasoning behind it. He talks about the dog feeling emotions that we give off or that are in us and I agree to a degree, just not to the degree that he sees it. So, that the dog is our mirror is a concept that he takes much deeper than I would.
That said, he did have some good points. He comes from the stand point that a dog is a dog, not a human, and that we humans have to learn to understand why a dog behaves as he does, and not put human reasoning behind it. He talks about the dog feeling emotions that we give off or that are in us and I agree to a degree, just not to the degree that he sees it. So, that the dog is our mirror is a concept that he takes much deeper than I would.
October 25, 2013
This book is both an interesting philosophy and a moving autobiography of Kevin Behan. He describes his own journey as a dog trainer, studying under his father, and then moving away from his father's methods to his own 'natural dog training' model. In this book, Behan develops a new idea: that dogs are so sensitive to emotion that they reflect their owner's emotion. This, regardless of whether the owner is aware of her own emotion and regardless of whether the owner understands how the dog is expressing that emotion. In the end, Behan argues that you can have the best relationship with your dog if you understand what is going on inside of you. Full of fascinating anecdotes and stories and an interesting philosophy.
January 4, 2015
Please read this book instead of that macho jerk Cesar.
I love the explanation of "heart" in a dog. The idea that all your feelings affect what your puppy grows up to be like. The fact that over-disciplining a dog will estrange him from you on some level, and that all this varies from dog to dog. Much of it can also be applied to humans in certain ways. What I don't like is that the book is padded out with quite a bit of autobiography and a long section of overly detailed explanation of how a dog operates emotionally, and its supposedly different emotional centers. I skipped it. It reminded me of the ship details in Moby Dick. Great book for dog lovers.
I love the explanation of "heart" in a dog. The idea that all your feelings affect what your puppy grows up to be like. The fact that over-disciplining a dog will estrange him from you on some level, and that all this varies from dog to dog. Much of it can also be applied to humans in certain ways. What I don't like is that the book is padded out with quite a bit of autobiography and a long section of overly detailed explanation of how a dog operates emotionally, and its supposedly different emotional centers. I skipped it. It reminded me of the ship details in Moby Dick. Great book for dog lovers.
April 10, 2023
I'll be blunt: this is a ridiculous book.
I had a real vested interest in learning from this author. My autistic son, last year, got a German Shepherd puppy to train as an autism assistance dog. GSDs are not the best choice of dog for this kind of profession. They make good guard dogs and police dogs because they generally have a suspicious nature whose first instinct is to lunge at whatever is making them fearful. Not what you need, however, when you're trying to train a dog to be able to go into shops, pubs and restaurants and cope with unwanted pats on the head and fussing from people, let alone interest from other dogs.
But we got what we got (our son insisted - part of his autism you see) and, to be fair, she is a beautiful, kind and loving dog. We wouldn't be without her. The downside though is she is also, even for a GSD, highly anxious and terrified of everything and everyone. While she's never ever bitten anyone, her bark is huge and scary and her lunge looks aggressive. Strangers don't get to see she's a dufus without a mean bone in her body. With family, she's adorable. We really want everyone to see that.
The result is: every single trainer in the area and dog training course known to man. I've done them all (it's largely me because I'm nerdy like that and research, plus I'm the one in the house all the time). What I've learned is two things: Firstly, just like growing children - be consistent. Your dog will eventually get it and will learn. Be patient and be kind and you'll get a good dog. Secondly, all dog trainers are very weird and most don't realise they are probably on the neurodiverse spectrum somewhere along the line. I say this as someone with ADHD and two kids with autism and having taught many, many students with either or both. You get to recognise undiagnosed neurodiversity eventually. These people are all on that side of things.
This is important here because often autistic people have very little awareness of others and tend to hyperfixate on theories. Hence, you get these dog trainers telling you that 'games are the answer' or 'being the Alpha is the answer' or 101 other methods for making your dog perfect. There is always some reductionist theory which promises the earth. Kevin Behan's answer though, takes the biscuit.
In essence, he tries to claim that all dogs simply know 'emotion' and nothing else. They 'read the room' as it were and reflect back what you're giving to them. There's elements of this which are true and perceptive. Dogs do note the emotion of the room and react to it. They can tell when you're sad or upset or angry. They can be funny with someone in the family because they know there's some tension having arisen from them with others. This is all well-known stuff.
But Behan tries to psychoanalyse everything and make all dog behaviour issues about the dog owners. Fix yourself, he seems to say, and you fix your dog.
It gets embarrassing, as time goes on, because it becomes obvious that it is Behan himself who needs fixing. He spends the lion's share of the book telling us his life story and never quite admitting to himself that he has huge daddy issues. Instead, he attempts to reject all standard understanding of biology and psychology - and fails there too, falling into pseudo-science instead - and tries to play the psychiatrist on his clients. If you look carefully, you find little to no evidence that his theory has worked with any of them. He keeps talking about clients who just 'stopped coming'. I'm not surprised! They clearly saw he was off his rocker...
Indeed, even if you do subscribe to his theory, it offers no real, tangible help to dealing with a dog that has problem behaviours. He gives no practical advice. Instead, the whole book seems to be an exercise in 'victim blaming' - that is, when he's not semi-blaming his father for his own failures. You are the reason your dog is dreadful, he says. Get therapy and your dog will be fine.
Anyone who has had even just a couple of dogs can tell this is absolute nonsense. It is instantly demonstrable if, like me, you have two dogs simultaneously. If Behan's theory is right, both should behave, or respond, in similar ways because YOUR emotion or issues are the same. They don't. Our GSD has barked and lunged at strangers and dogs since the day she came to our house no matter which of the five adults in the house has her (and we can't ALL have the same trauma or hang-ups, right?). Yet our eight-year-old Cocker Spaniel tolerates dogs, mostly quietly, and adores ALL humans whether or not she knows them. If your fear of rape (a genuine interpretation the author threw at one of his clients) is causing your dog to attack strangers, it should cause all your dogs to behave similarly. Clear, a dog's individual personality has to a have a play here as well as the general character make-up of their breed. It's not all about you.
And that last point is where I'll leave it. To accuse your clients of issues that are none of your concern is offensive bordering on abusive. 'Your dog is a problem because of your past traumas' is just such an horrific piece of victim blaming. Not only is this book not worth buying but Kevin Behan shouldn't be allowed anywhere near people or dogs. Seriously, avoid this guy.
As for our GSD puppy? Consistent love, acceptance of who she is and continuous small steps mean that she's now a lot more confident, happier with people (still working on dogs) and is getting there. We may not end up with a perfectly trained dog (although all the signs are that she's still getting there and we're hopeful) but she is loved and accepted whatever she proves to be, just as all members of our family are. No blame, no accusations, no therapy needed. Just love and respect. That's the way you get the best out of your dog.
I had a real vested interest in learning from this author. My autistic son, last year, got a German Shepherd puppy to train as an autism assistance dog. GSDs are not the best choice of dog for this kind of profession. They make good guard dogs and police dogs because they generally have a suspicious nature whose first instinct is to lunge at whatever is making them fearful. Not what you need, however, when you're trying to train a dog to be able to go into shops, pubs and restaurants and cope with unwanted pats on the head and fussing from people, let alone interest from other dogs.
But we got what we got (our son insisted - part of his autism you see) and, to be fair, she is a beautiful, kind and loving dog. We wouldn't be without her. The downside though is she is also, even for a GSD, highly anxious and terrified of everything and everyone. While she's never ever bitten anyone, her bark is huge and scary and her lunge looks aggressive. Strangers don't get to see she's a dufus without a mean bone in her body. With family, she's adorable. We really want everyone to see that.
The result is: every single trainer in the area and dog training course known to man. I've done them all (it's largely me because I'm nerdy like that and research, plus I'm the one in the house all the time). What I've learned is two things: Firstly, just like growing children - be consistent. Your dog will eventually get it and will learn. Be patient and be kind and you'll get a good dog. Secondly, all dog trainers are very weird and most don't realise they are probably on the neurodiverse spectrum somewhere along the line. I say this as someone with ADHD and two kids with autism and having taught many, many students with either or both. You get to recognise undiagnosed neurodiversity eventually. These people are all on that side of things.
This is important here because often autistic people have very little awareness of others and tend to hyperfixate on theories. Hence, you get these dog trainers telling you that 'games are the answer' or 'being the Alpha is the answer' or 101 other methods for making your dog perfect. There is always some reductionist theory which promises the earth. Kevin Behan's answer though, takes the biscuit.
In essence, he tries to claim that all dogs simply know 'emotion' and nothing else. They 'read the room' as it were and reflect back what you're giving to them. There's elements of this which are true and perceptive. Dogs do note the emotion of the room and react to it. They can tell when you're sad or upset or angry. They can be funny with someone in the family because they know there's some tension having arisen from them with others. This is all well-known stuff.
But Behan tries to psychoanalyse everything and make all dog behaviour issues about the dog owners. Fix yourself, he seems to say, and you fix your dog.
It gets embarrassing, as time goes on, because it becomes obvious that it is Behan himself who needs fixing. He spends the lion's share of the book telling us his life story and never quite admitting to himself that he has huge daddy issues. Instead, he attempts to reject all standard understanding of biology and psychology - and fails there too, falling into pseudo-science instead - and tries to play the psychiatrist on his clients. If you look carefully, you find little to no evidence that his theory has worked with any of them. He keeps talking about clients who just 'stopped coming'. I'm not surprised! They clearly saw he was off his rocker...
Indeed, even if you do subscribe to his theory, it offers no real, tangible help to dealing with a dog that has problem behaviours. He gives no practical advice. Instead, the whole book seems to be an exercise in 'victim blaming' - that is, when he's not semi-blaming his father for his own failures. You are the reason your dog is dreadful, he says. Get therapy and your dog will be fine.
Anyone who has had even just a couple of dogs can tell this is absolute nonsense. It is instantly demonstrable if, like me, you have two dogs simultaneously. If Behan's theory is right, both should behave, or respond, in similar ways because YOUR emotion or issues are the same. They don't. Our GSD has barked and lunged at strangers and dogs since the day she came to our house no matter which of the five adults in the house has her (and we can't ALL have the same trauma or hang-ups, right?). Yet our eight-year-old Cocker Spaniel tolerates dogs, mostly quietly, and adores ALL humans whether or not she knows them. If your fear of rape (a genuine interpretation the author threw at one of his clients) is causing your dog to attack strangers, it should cause all your dogs to behave similarly. Clear, a dog's individual personality has to a have a play here as well as the general character make-up of their breed. It's not all about you.
And that last point is where I'll leave it. To accuse your clients of issues that are none of your concern is offensive bordering on abusive. 'Your dog is a problem because of your past traumas' is just such an horrific piece of victim blaming. Not only is this book not worth buying but Kevin Behan shouldn't be allowed anywhere near people or dogs. Seriously, avoid this guy.
As for our GSD puppy? Consistent love, acceptance of who she is and continuous small steps mean that she's now a lot more confident, happier with people (still working on dogs) and is getting there. We may not end up with a perfectly trained dog (although all the signs are that she's still getting there and we're hopeful) but she is loved and accepted whatever she proves to be, just as all members of our family are. No blame, no accusations, no therapy needed. Just love and respect. That's the way you get the best out of your dog.
November 2, 2016
The biggest problem with this book is that it's a memoir, not a book about dogs. He goes on for 70 pages until he starts to talk about dogs in any depth. I don't need a story about your first erection, I need to know this concept that you are trying to explain. His theories are interesting, but he doesn't explain them well at all. And he doesn't get to the 'heart' of it until the last section of the book.
December 18, 2012
This is a good book and really challenges you as a dog owner. It puts all of the emotional responsibility on the dog owner and makes the dog seem like an infallible saint. To make this claim Behan makes a lot of bold universal claims that make the dog-human relationship seem a lot like the relationship between Elliot and E.T. "everything a dog does and even its personality is a one-to-one translation of what its owner is feeling (p. xxvi)."
I thought Behan makes a good point when he emphasizes the importance of how the owner describes their dog. Behan claims that when people do this their "deepest feelings surface in [their] choice of words, the tone of [their] voice, and where [their] emphasis falls in a sentence (p. xiii)." Behan says what matter to him as a dog trainer is how their owner sees their dog and how they interpret their dog's behavior.
I thought Behan makes a good point when he emphasizes the importance of how the owner describes their dog. Behan claims that when people do this their "deepest feelings surface in [their] choice of words, the tone of [their] voice, and where [their] emphasis falls in a sentence (p. xiii)." Behan says what matter to him as a dog trainer is how their owner sees their dog and how they interpret their dog's behavior.
June 20, 2018
Interesting, but not heartening to the anxious person affiliated with anxious dogs, lol. Behan has a world of experience and the faith in himself that comes from it. I can't so readily exclude behavioral causes of dog problems, and I can't as easily write off behavior modification and conditioning as repairs for those problems either. At the same time, I appreciate his almost spiritual consideration of the dog-human connection and believe dog lovers can learn from it.
August 3, 2011
Way too touchy/feely (almost New Agey) for me, I guess...
January 15, 2013
Overly complicated book where the writer self-congratulates on how good a dog trainer he is. Left the subject matter of the title behind after one chapter.
October 13, 2023
This was total drudgery to get through and I skimmed about 70% of it. Author has some bizarre theories not really rooted in anything scientific. Read the jacket, and you’ve got it.
January 27, 2024
Trying to boil down this witchy gobbledygook into something relatively coherent will be my most ambitious venture to date.
Behan says dogs don't think. He says they feel, with their Heart, which is their emotions, communicated through their stomach lining, which is the little brain, functioning as an alternative to the Big Brain, which is responsible for thinking, which dogs do not.
With me so far?
What these dogs don't think, but intuit, with their stomach lining Heart backup brains, is the repressed trauma hidden in the psych of their owners. He repeatedly likened the dog's behavior to electromagnetism, to the point that he suggested some dogs will be relax if you pat their heads and turn up if you scratch their butts, and some dogs work the other way around, due to their intrinsic emotional magnetic resonances. In fact, he likened a lot of things to physics, none of which made any sense. At first I thought it was because I do not know enough about physics. Now I'm fairly sure it's because he does not know enough about physics.
Let me take a stab at the predator/prey dichotomy. Behan suggests that inside you are two wolves, and one wolf is the Top, and the other wolf is the Bottom, and if you give off Bottom energy than your dog has no choice but to counter with Top energy, which it doesn't know how to do so good because it's a dog so it'll tear up the couch and go a little insane. However, if you give off Top energy, the dog will be cringing and pitiful and make the face all the time. Let's see if GoodReads will let me cut and paste the face.
🥺
Nice, it did. This can lead to the dog acting out in other weird sad cringing ways like submissive urination, really playing up the Abused Animal angle. Behan suggests that, in either case, it's the result of denying your dog the opportunity to express his Heart-second-brain-stomach-lining emotions, necessary for the dog to complete the circuit of the emotional network in your house. Without that opportunity it gets backed up with all of ITS own emotions, as well as the traumatized emotional echoes it is constantly and psychically absorbing from you, which causes the dog to do crazy shit like maul your loved ones or pee on the couch, or maul the couch or pee on your loved ones. To a dog, which doesn't think, this is the only way of getting out that energy.
And that's the theory.
Now, at a glance, you can tell this is incomprehensible Deepak Chopra hoodoo psychobabble. And that's fine. He is a dog trainer. He can have insane theories about dogs, so long as they work. We have no idea why EMDR works so well for trauma, but it does, and what matters is it does. This guy is able to train dogs to be really good at killing. That's his job, and he's good at it, so something he's doing works.
And while most of this book reads like the first draft was penned in feces on a padded wall, there were some bits that... I hesitate to say "made sense", and will instead go with "rang true". The dog functioning as an emotional counterpart to its primary human, for example. I buy that completely. Dogs read and reflect vibes. 100%, I'm in. Dogs take on characteristics of their owners, often characteristics their owners are not even aware that they have, and dogs are often unfortunately forced to oversimplify complex emotional/psychological sequences absorbed from their owner/family unit and act them out. Completely true, send it.
It breaks down when he suggests that it works both ways. Dogs act out the traits that you have, but also deeply repressed traits that you don't know you have, which makes you feel extra reactive and icky for Jungian shadow work reasons. That's just too much acting out of traits. If I give off predatory vibes so my dog completes the yin-yang with cringing prey vibes, but then acts out predatory impulses in the dog park because of the anger that is born from the fear I repress which is why I give off predatory vibes to begin with, then this poor dog is always acting out everything all the time, so the theory is of no value. Like if he's doing both parts because I have a psyche, and no matter what my own psyche is, the dog is going to agree and disagree with it, and also perform that in the dog park, then what can this theory be used for, except to alienate other dog trainers and scare the hoes?
So that's everything that I read as obvious bupkis. What I've taken from this, and the reason I gave it two stars, is at the end of the day I believe that the dog is a mirror for the person. The dog is a simple, emotional animal, bred to do what we want it to do. It knows what we want better than we do. That's the dogs whole damn raison d'être, and it will do it. Sometimes that means the dog is a schizy, fearful mess, because we're hauling around all that "Victim Energy" (per Behan) and the dog absorbs those vibes. Sometimes the dog is an overexcitable doofus who wouldn't hurt a fly, and maybe that's because we echo that sentiment deep down under all the layers of high-cognitin' human misery, or maybe because we're whiny sadsacks and we need the dog to be a goofy goober to chase away the dark-and-uglies.
My own dog is a stoic, contemplative lab/mastiff mix. He is unfailingly friendly, regal in his bearing, and has the patience of a saint. His favorite foods are steak, greek yogurt, and oranges. When you look at Beefy, the immediate impression you get is the dog is controlled.
But what do you control? What needs to be controlled. What needs to be held back. Beefy busted up his meniscus doing hill sprints because when he lets himself off the leash, figuratively speaking, he goes balls to the wall.
So is this the dog as the complement to our family's emotional network, or is this the dog as my mirror? I don't know. We are inseparable. My fiancee says we make the same face all the time (which is reassuring, because he's very handsome). He refuses to eat kibble until after we go for a walk or play or do tricks, his conceptions of exercise, which is a lo-fi doggy version of the way I obsessively track my macros for lifting.
And if he's the mirror, what am I holding back? Frustrated predator or prey drives, depending on the interpretation? Latent homicidality? A powerful desire for oranges? I was a big, hyperactive kid who didn't know my own strength, and I'm now a big, hyperactive man with a better understanding of my own strength. Maybe it's just the psychic reverberations of that old child wound, huh? Maybe the dog is the mirror of the cranked up, pudgy little spaz who kept accidentally making the other kids cry because he had a hard time gauging how rough the roughhousing is supposed to be. Maybe that's why the dog is so painfully careful not throw his weight around, to not exert his terrifying gargoyle strength because, Christ, it's not his fault he's got this kind of bite force!
Or maybe I'm reading too much into it. That's another facet of lifelong hyperactivity. All I can say for sure is that the dog is asleep next to me on the couch right now, and when I wrote that last paragraph, he started to click and grind his teeth together. His huge, bone-crushing pitbull jaws. Makes a fella wonder how many nightmares we share.
Behan says dogs don't think. He says they feel, with their Heart, which is their emotions, communicated through their stomach lining, which is the little brain, functioning as an alternative to the Big Brain, which is responsible for thinking, which dogs do not.
With me so far?
What these dogs don't think, but intuit, with their stomach lining Heart backup brains, is the repressed trauma hidden in the psych of their owners. He repeatedly likened the dog's behavior to electromagnetism, to the point that he suggested some dogs will be relax if you pat their heads and turn up if you scratch their butts, and some dogs work the other way around, due to their intrinsic emotional magnetic resonances. In fact, he likened a lot of things to physics, none of which made any sense. At first I thought it was because I do not know enough about physics. Now I'm fairly sure it's because he does not know enough about physics.
Let me take a stab at the predator/prey dichotomy. Behan suggests that inside you are two wolves, and one wolf is the Top, and the other wolf is the Bottom, and if you give off Bottom energy than your dog has no choice but to counter with Top energy, which it doesn't know how to do so good because it's a dog so it'll tear up the couch and go a little insane. However, if you give off Top energy, the dog will be cringing and pitiful and make the face all the time. Let's see if GoodReads will let me cut and paste the face.
🥺
Nice, it did. This can lead to the dog acting out in other weird sad cringing ways like submissive urination, really playing up the Abused Animal angle. Behan suggests that, in either case, it's the result of denying your dog the opportunity to express his Heart-second-brain-stomach-lining emotions, necessary for the dog to complete the circuit of the emotional network in your house. Without that opportunity it gets backed up with all of ITS own emotions, as well as the traumatized emotional echoes it is constantly and psychically absorbing from you, which causes the dog to do crazy shit like maul your loved ones or pee on the couch, or maul the couch or pee on your loved ones. To a dog, which doesn't think, this is the only way of getting out that energy.
And that's the theory.
Now, at a glance, you can tell this is incomprehensible Deepak Chopra hoodoo psychobabble. And that's fine. He is a dog trainer. He can have insane theories about dogs, so long as they work. We have no idea why EMDR works so well for trauma, but it does, and what matters is it does. This guy is able to train dogs to be really good at killing. That's his job, and he's good at it, so something he's doing works.
And while most of this book reads like the first draft was penned in feces on a padded wall, there were some bits that... I hesitate to say "made sense", and will instead go with "rang true". The dog functioning as an emotional counterpart to its primary human, for example. I buy that completely. Dogs read and reflect vibes. 100%, I'm in. Dogs take on characteristics of their owners, often characteristics their owners are not even aware that they have, and dogs are often unfortunately forced to oversimplify complex emotional/psychological sequences absorbed from their owner/family unit and act them out. Completely true, send it.
It breaks down when he suggests that it works both ways. Dogs act out the traits that you have, but also deeply repressed traits that you don't know you have, which makes you feel extra reactive and icky for Jungian shadow work reasons. That's just too much acting out of traits. If I give off predatory vibes so my dog completes the yin-yang with cringing prey vibes, but then acts out predatory impulses in the dog park because of the anger that is born from the fear I repress which is why I give off predatory vibes to begin with, then this poor dog is always acting out everything all the time, so the theory is of no value. Like if he's doing both parts because I have a psyche, and no matter what my own psyche is, the dog is going to agree and disagree with it, and also perform that in the dog park, then what can this theory be used for, except to alienate other dog trainers and scare the hoes?
So that's everything that I read as obvious bupkis. What I've taken from this, and the reason I gave it two stars, is at the end of the day I believe that the dog is a mirror for the person. The dog is a simple, emotional animal, bred to do what we want it to do. It knows what we want better than we do. That's the dogs whole damn raison d'être, and it will do it. Sometimes that means the dog is a schizy, fearful mess, because we're hauling around all that "Victim Energy" (per Behan) and the dog absorbs those vibes. Sometimes the dog is an overexcitable doofus who wouldn't hurt a fly, and maybe that's because we echo that sentiment deep down under all the layers of high-cognitin' human misery, or maybe because we're whiny sadsacks and we need the dog to be a goofy goober to chase away the dark-and-uglies.
My own dog is a stoic, contemplative lab/mastiff mix. He is unfailingly friendly, regal in his bearing, and has the patience of a saint. His favorite foods are steak, greek yogurt, and oranges. When you look at Beefy, the immediate impression you get is the dog is controlled.
But what do you control? What needs to be controlled. What needs to be held back. Beefy busted up his meniscus doing hill sprints because when he lets himself off the leash, figuratively speaking, he goes balls to the wall.
So is this the dog as the complement to our family's emotional network, or is this the dog as my mirror? I don't know. We are inseparable. My fiancee says we make the same face all the time (which is reassuring, because he's very handsome). He refuses to eat kibble until after we go for a walk or play or do tricks, his conceptions of exercise, which is a lo-fi doggy version of the way I obsessively track my macros for lifting.
And if he's the mirror, what am I holding back? Frustrated predator or prey drives, depending on the interpretation? Latent homicidality? A powerful desire for oranges? I was a big, hyperactive kid who didn't know my own strength, and I'm now a big, hyperactive man with a better understanding of my own strength. Maybe it's just the psychic reverberations of that old child wound, huh? Maybe the dog is the mirror of the cranked up, pudgy little spaz who kept accidentally making the other kids cry because he had a hard time gauging how rough the roughhousing is supposed to be. Maybe that's why the dog is so painfully careful not throw his weight around, to not exert his terrifying gargoyle strength because, Christ, it's not his fault he's got this kind of bite force!
Or maybe I'm reading too much into it. That's another facet of lifelong hyperactivity. All I can say for sure is that the dog is asleep next to me on the couch right now, and when I wrote that last paragraph, he started to click and grind his teeth together. His huge, bone-crushing pitbull jaws. Makes a fella wonder how many nightmares we share.
December 28, 2024
DNF. This was a weird book. Got through about 60 pages, but when he started talking about his sexual awakening at 13 I laughed and put the book down.
January 21, 2022
well... I "kind of" finished the book??? I read it via ebook version and if you call scrolling through until I actually found a story about a dog and it's person, then I guess I read it?....
Very hard to digest... written very much like a text book... author did not in my opinion explain his theory and/or methods of dog training at all.. and I've trained dogs since 1973... I found that there is no way the general public would be able to understand this... at least I know I didn't get much out of it except I agree about dogs sensing your energy.. that is true... all I got from this book
I should have DNFed it but scrolling through was what I did...
Very hard to digest... written very much like a text book... author did not in my opinion explain his theory and/or methods of dog training at all.. and I've trained dogs since 1973... I found that there is no way the general public would be able to understand this... at least I know I didn't get much out of it except I agree about dogs sensing your energy.. that is true... all I got from this book
I should have DNFed it but scrolling through was what I did...
April 8, 2024
I couldn't get into this book. Kevin Behan is quick to throw out any conventional thinking and theories surrounding human/dog connections, and dog training. Conversely Behan is happy to posit his own speculative psychoanalytical theories, without any reference to reasonable evidence other than convenient anecdotal references.
Behan will discount our want to explain dog behaviour through logic and reason, yet will use that very same logic and reason to ruminate on theories oh his own.
This book is too smart for its own good. Full of psychological tangents and metaphysical meandering disguised as intelligent ideas.
Behan will discount our want to explain dog behaviour through logic and reason, yet will use that very same logic and reason to ruminate on theories oh his own.
This book is too smart for its own good. Full of psychological tangents and metaphysical meandering disguised as intelligent ideas.
March 1, 2017
A very interesting book that turns the whole dominance theory on its head. A lot of new ideas in this book so it's a careful read and not as light as the title might suggest. There's a lot to digest. Compelling.
April 9, 2016
An interesting book, one which I feel like I need to re-read to fully grasp what the author is saying at times. It's not a light read but has some thought provoking content. I would recommend this to anyone with a strong interest in dog behaviour and training
April 15, 2022
Couldn’t get past Chapter 1. Almost every word is absurd.
October 11, 2023
Great book for wasting away time and energy.
December 10, 2023
The book could be shorter for explaining its ideas, it is mainly a biography of the autor.
January 5, 2025
DNF got bored
July 1, 2018
The positive reinforcement training we had been using faithfully with our dogs and several trainers was not working for us anymore. Yes our dogs could come when called, sit, heal, catch a frisbee in midair, wait to eat their food until we told them to, etc. But our male dog became increasingly aggressive when put in stressful situations and our female dog was becoming progressively more fearful. It reached a point where our female was barking frantically at a human male friend trying to enter our home and our male, feeding off of her energy, slipped past me while I was trying to tell our friend to wait outside, and bit him. He didn't bite hard fortunately, so no skin was broken. But as a family with small children who are around people a lot and like to take our dogs hiking and camping we realized that things were really not in a good/safe place anymore. That things had been building up and felt like they were spiraling out of control. We needed to do something different. I had become afraid of having our dogs around people anymore.
We stumbled upon a trainer who uses methods based on Behan's training methods. And while at first it felt strange and made us emotional, we have been seeing great changes come over our dogs. They are becoming more relaxed, they play with us in a new way, we feel more connected to them and we are rebuilding that trust that was broken. I decided to read this book to understand the training on a deeper level. While the writing isn't perfect (it can be convoluted at times), I loved the heart of it. It has helped me see my dogs and myself in a new way. A way that makes much more sense to me.
I have a BS in biology and an MSc in Conservation biology, both degrees focused on animal behavior. While some reviews complain that his work is not scientific in nature and unbacked with research, I would disagree. Some of our greatest animal behaviorists approached the field in a similar way; through a lifetime of observation and immersion. Jane Goodall was often criticized for not being objective, but from her life work with chimps we learned more about chimp behavior than we ever had before. She even shed some light on human behavior through her research. I don't think Behan's work should be shrugged off because it's not always scientific or objective in nature.
The basis of his theory are that dogs do not think as humans think. They are pure emotion, and their physical actions reflect that emotion. Strong emotions increase internal energy and because of that, dogs need a way to release that flood of energy. Often we train our dogs to stifle that drive to release energy and that energy is contained. You can probably relate to that feeling yourself; think of a time you may have gotten really angry and wanted to punch someone but didn't. But energy can't be destroyed so it is held inside the dog and at a point of high emotion/stress that energy may come spilling out. Often in the form of aggression. He discusses how we can help our dogs release that energy through biting toys, by pushing into us for food, etc. That this helps the dog connect with us and feel more grounded. He also discusses how the energy we carry within us; the things that stress us out or emotions we hold deep in our gut, are very clear to our dogs and that they mirror that energy/charge. And thus, looking closely at our dogs can tell us a lot about ourselves. Sometimes things that are hard to see.
Viewing my dogs as emotional beings, and recognizing their need to release that emotion has helped us already in a short time. We have noticed so much change in our dogs; while we had been forcing them to suppress their emotion they are now releasing it in healthy ways and becoming more grounded. And while we have a lot to learn and a lot of work ahead of us, what we need to do makes more sense to me after reading this book. Whether or not you buy into all that he says, his lifetime of observations and insights about dogs is an invaluable resource that can shed some light/possibility onto the human-canine bond.
We stumbled upon a trainer who uses methods based on Behan's training methods. And while at first it felt strange and made us emotional, we have been seeing great changes come over our dogs. They are becoming more relaxed, they play with us in a new way, we feel more connected to them and we are rebuilding that trust that was broken. I decided to read this book to understand the training on a deeper level. While the writing isn't perfect (it can be convoluted at times), I loved the heart of it. It has helped me see my dogs and myself in a new way. A way that makes much more sense to me.
I have a BS in biology and an MSc in Conservation biology, both degrees focused on animal behavior. While some reviews complain that his work is not scientific in nature and unbacked with research, I would disagree. Some of our greatest animal behaviorists approached the field in a similar way; through a lifetime of observation and immersion. Jane Goodall was often criticized for not being objective, but from her life work with chimps we learned more about chimp behavior than we ever had before. She even shed some light on human behavior through her research. I don't think Behan's work should be shrugged off because it's not always scientific or objective in nature.
The basis of his theory are that dogs do not think as humans think. They are pure emotion, and their physical actions reflect that emotion. Strong emotions increase internal energy and because of that, dogs need a way to release that flood of energy. Often we train our dogs to stifle that drive to release energy and that energy is contained. You can probably relate to that feeling yourself; think of a time you may have gotten really angry and wanted to punch someone but didn't. But energy can't be destroyed so it is held inside the dog and at a point of high emotion/stress that energy may come spilling out. Often in the form of aggression. He discusses how we can help our dogs release that energy through biting toys, by pushing into us for food, etc. That this helps the dog connect with us and feel more grounded. He also discusses how the energy we carry within us; the things that stress us out or emotions we hold deep in our gut, are very clear to our dogs and that they mirror that energy/charge. And thus, looking closely at our dogs can tell us a lot about ourselves. Sometimes things that are hard to see.
Viewing my dogs as emotional beings, and recognizing their need to release that emotion has helped us already in a short time. We have noticed so much change in our dogs; while we had been forcing them to suppress their emotion they are now releasing it in healthy ways and becoming more grounded. And while we have a lot to learn and a lot of work ahead of us, what we need to do makes more sense to me after reading this book. Whether or not you buy into all that he says, his lifetime of observations and insights about dogs is an invaluable resource that can shed some light/possibility onto the human-canine bond.
December 3, 2024
A little hard to follow at times and long winded at others, but definitely an interesting perspective on dogs being charged by our unresolved emotions and connected to their people by heart. I picked up this book as an attempt to heal my degraded relationship with my dog, now I’m finding myself looking inward.
April 8, 2024
I'm just getting to Part 2 of the book. And it has felt like a looooong way, without actually getting any real information, other than an autobiography or memoir of the author childhood. I am truly not interested in HOW you acquired your "dog wisdom" I'm more interested in how it actually works, and how to apply it; but so far, nothing substancial has arrived.
I started skimming the book since the preface; I always give books a little time before giving up on them, but after seeing the reviews in here, I realize I'm not the only one. I might keep reading just in the hope to find (find as in: looking for interesting paragraphs in between the childhood and client stories) something new to learn.
I'm an animal trainer, and I'm all about animal feelings, but the idea that everything a dog does is JUST what you want or can't do, is just simplistic. There's more than one dog and they behave differently, there's more than one person in the house too.
For me so far this book sounds more like: go to therapy, fix your issues, and your dog will be better after.
I'll add an edit if I finish.
EDIT: I didn't finish. Not worth it for me.
I started skimming the book since the preface; I always give books a little time before giving up on them, but after seeing the reviews in here, I realize I'm not the only one. I might keep reading just in the hope to find (find as in: looking for interesting paragraphs in between the childhood and client stories) something new to learn.
I'm an animal trainer, and I'm all about animal feelings, but the idea that everything a dog does is JUST what you want or can't do, is just simplistic. There's more than one dog and they behave differently, there's more than one person in the house too.
For me so far this book sounds more like: go to therapy, fix your issues, and your dog will be better after.
I'll add an edit if I finish.
EDIT: I didn't finish. Not worth it for me.
June 17, 2012
This book changed my whole attitude to working with my dog and I had read dozens of books on dog training/behaviour and consulted numerous experts. I am now enjoying their involvement in my understanding of life :-). I keep going back to it still as I work with my dogs in this new way
Your Dog Is Your Mirror: The Emotional Capacity of Our Dogs and Ourselves
Your Dog Is Your Mirror: The Emotional Capacity of Our Dogs and Ourselves
March 4, 2024
While the author had some interesting ideas, it was overpowered by his little rants about daddy issues and pseudoscience and weird psychology takes. I mean I’m up for that, but not in a book marketed for learning insights about dogs. There’s a lot of rambling and talking in circles. I only managed to finish this because it worked well as a good sedative to fall asleep. I would recommend reading ‘Inside of a Dog’ by Alexandra Horowitz to gain some actual perspective on dogs and dog behavior that has stuck with me ever since reading.
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