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The Christmas You Deserve: five festive terror tales
Christmas, the happiest time of year. Plum puddings, candy canes, carols by the fireside. But outside, the mist lies deep and still. Frost gnaws at your fingertips. Shadowy forms lurk in the evergreens. It’s the season for ghost stories. For dark warnings. For eerie myths drawing on the blood rites of the past … The Christmas present that wants to butcher you. The horned devil in the Santa Claus suit. The terrifying events at Mistletoe Hall. The movie makers trapped in a winter nightmare. The annual puppet show that ends in death. Five more festive terror tales from the pen of best-selling thriller and horror writer, Paul Finch.
- GenresHorror
167 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 12, 2020
5 people are currently reading
15 people want to read
About the author
Paul Finch
206 books461 followersPaul Finch is a former cop and journalist, now full-time writer. Having originally written for the television series THE BILL plus children's animation and DOCTOR WHO audio dramas, he went on to write horror, but is now best known for his crime / thriller fiction.
He won the British Fantasy Award twice and the International Horror Guild Award, but since then has written two parallel series of hard-hitting crime novels, the Heck and the Lucy Clayburn novels, of which three titles have become best-sellers.
Paul lives in Wigan, Lancashire, UK with his wife and children.
He won the British Fantasy Award twice and the International Horror Guild Award, but since then has written two parallel series of hard-hitting crime novels, the Heck and the Lucy Clayburn novels, of which three titles have become best-sellers.
Paul lives in Wigan, Lancashire, UK with his wife and children.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
December 27, 2021
I found this author through his short story in Exit Wounds. In looking for something new to read, this collection of Christmas-themed short stories seemed perfect for my mood and the time of year, and it turned out to be just that.
Some were twists on classic Christmas stories, a few were only set at Christmas time, but all were plenty of fun. I only wished he'd done a twist on the typical romatic Christmas glurge, where a couple meet cute and the idealistic one converts the cynical one to the True Spirit of Christmas (TM).
Audiobook, purchased at Audible, performed by Greg Patmore. His voice is unusual, but I felt he nailed the performance.
Some were twists on classic Christmas stories, a few were only set at Christmas time, but all were plenty of fun. I only wished he'd done a twist on the typical romatic Christmas glurge, where a couple meet cute and the idealistic one converts the cynical one to the True Spirit of Christmas (TM).
Audiobook, purchased at Audible, performed by Greg Patmore. His voice is unusual, but I felt he nailed the performance.
December 17, 2024
Decently entertaining for Christmas horror!
December 31, 2020
A great collection of stories, like an audio version of one of those 1970s Amicus horror compendiums. The festive theme running through them made them extra fun for this time of year. My favourites were ‘Krampus’ (I love some childhood horror!) and ‘The Stain’ (which was just a lot of fun). I’ve already downloaded ‘Season of Mist’ by this author to listen to as well.
December 19, 2021
Mr. Finch was right—this is the Christmas I deserve! Or, at least, the Christmas horror stories I deserve. I’ve been very good this year, you see.
Paul Finch is one of the few writers I would, for the sake of the greater good, chain to a typewriter for the remainder of his life.
The Merry Makers - A man winds up stranded at a strange house whose weirdo inhabitants hate Christmas. Gonzo.
The Unreal - A ghostbuster spends the night in a haunted theater. The life-size marionettes from their latest production, A Christmas Carol, are his only company. Spoopy.
Krampus - An old man finally tells his family his own ghost story: meeting a department store Santa in postwar England who seemed very familiar beneath the white beard. Serling-ish.
The Tenth Lesson - A writer who owes his wonderful success to Christmas secretly hates the best holiday ever, for all of the cliché reasons, and he’s about to finally have a heckuva good reason. Chef’s kiss.
The Stain - A screenwriter for a Hammer-type of horror film studio spends the weekend with the producers at the same (allegedly) haunted house in which they filmed their biggest hit in order to plan its sequel. ‘Nuff said.
I literally didn’t want this last one to end. Such a great premise and it’s a well told tale, too. They’re all good, in fact, but I already look forward to reading this one again, as well as The Unreal and The Tenth Lesson. I’d love to see these adapted for a modern Ghost Stories for Christmas. Ya know, I don’t know why more tv and film producers don’t just read my GR reviews to find good material instead of turning out again and again the same story-less, by-committee stercus (my word of the day.)
There’s still a week of days left on this year’s Advent calendar so it’s lucky that Finch has another Christmas collection out called In a Deep, Dark December. So, Merry Christmas, Mr. Finch, and God bless us everyone.
———
FUN FACT!
I don’t know how true it is but I like the idea of the following tidbit from The Tenth Lesson about the accuracy of the supposed pagan origins of Christmas. In this age where everyone seems to detest only their own culture more than themselves, it’s become kind of punk rock to actually acknowledge the Good. Christmas, with all of its trappings and trimmings, is the pinnacle of Western culture. Authenticity trumps snark; optimism trumps cynicism. In The Tenth Lesson, our Scrooge tells off his Wiccan sister:
“And please don’t give me some crap about it being Celtic in origin. I’ve researched the subject far more than you and your crackpot crowd and I can assure you that the pagan thing is total bollocks. To start with, the festival of Christmas is not derived from Yule. Yule dates back to 400 AD at the earliest, whereas Christmas is referred to in Roman records some two centuries before that. Also, the birth of Jesus is not a Christianised version of the birth of Mithras … Mithras was not born of a human mother, and his cult came much later during the Empire. There is no provable connection between Christmas and the solstice celebrated by the druids. We don’t even know if the druids celebrated the solstice because they didn’t write anything down, whereas the Romans wrote an awful lot down about Christmas. Sorry to disappoint you, Soph, but Christmas is solidly Christian with a few pagan trappings that the Victorians added because they were midwinter emblems.”
I also like GK Chesterton’s take: “It is often said by the critics of Christian origins that certain ritual feasts, processions or dances are really of pagan origin. They might as well say that our legs are of pagan origin. Nobody ever disputed that humanity was human before it was Christian; and no Church manufactured the legs with which men walked or danced, either in a pilgrimage or a ballet. What can really be maintained, so as to carry not a little conviction, is this: that where such a Church has existed it has preserved not only the processions but the dances; not only the cathedral but the carnival. One of the chief claims of Christian civilisation is to have preserved things of pagan origin.”
Paul Finch is one of the few writers I would, for the sake of the greater good, chain to a typewriter for the remainder of his life.
The Merry Makers - A man winds up stranded at a strange house whose weirdo inhabitants hate Christmas. Gonzo.
The Unreal - A ghostbuster spends the night in a haunted theater. The life-size marionettes from their latest production, A Christmas Carol, are his only company. Spoopy.
Krampus - An old man finally tells his family his own ghost story: meeting a department store Santa in postwar England who seemed very familiar beneath the white beard. Serling-ish.
The Tenth Lesson - A writer who owes his wonderful success to Christmas secretly hates the best holiday ever, for all of the cliché reasons, and he’s about to finally have a heckuva good reason. Chef’s kiss.
The Stain - A screenwriter for a Hammer-type of horror film studio spends the weekend with the producers at the same (allegedly) haunted house in which they filmed their biggest hit in order to plan its sequel. ‘Nuff said.
I literally didn’t want this last one to end. Such a great premise and it’s a well told tale, too. They’re all good, in fact, but I already look forward to reading this one again, as well as The Unreal and The Tenth Lesson. I’d love to see these adapted for a modern Ghost Stories for Christmas. Ya know, I don’t know why more tv and film producers don’t just read my GR reviews to find good material instead of turning out again and again the same story-less, by-committee stercus (my word of the day.)
There’s still a week of days left on this year’s Advent calendar so it’s lucky that Finch has another Christmas collection out called In a Deep, Dark December. So, Merry Christmas, Mr. Finch, and God bless us everyone.
———
FUN FACT!
I don’t know how true it is but I like the idea of the following tidbit from The Tenth Lesson about the accuracy of the supposed pagan origins of Christmas. In this age where everyone seems to detest only their own culture more than themselves, it’s become kind of punk rock to actually acknowledge the Good. Christmas, with all of its trappings and trimmings, is the pinnacle of Western culture. Authenticity trumps snark; optimism trumps cynicism. In The Tenth Lesson, our Scrooge tells off his Wiccan sister:
“And please don’t give me some crap about it being Celtic in origin. I’ve researched the subject far more than you and your crackpot crowd and I can assure you that the pagan thing is total bollocks. To start with, the festival of Christmas is not derived from Yule. Yule dates back to 400 AD at the earliest, whereas Christmas is referred to in Roman records some two centuries before that. Also, the birth of Jesus is not a Christianised version of the birth of Mithras … Mithras was not born of a human mother, and his cult came much later during the Empire. There is no provable connection between Christmas and the solstice celebrated by the druids. We don’t even know if the druids celebrated the solstice because they didn’t write anything down, whereas the Romans wrote an awful lot down about Christmas. Sorry to disappoint you, Soph, but Christmas is solidly Christian with a few pagan trappings that the Victorians added because they were midwinter emblems.”
I also like GK Chesterton’s take: “It is often said by the critics of Christian origins that certain ritual feasts, processions or dances are really of pagan origin. They might as well say that our legs are of pagan origin. Nobody ever disputed that humanity was human before it was Christian; and no Church manufactured the legs with which men walked or danced, either in a pilgrimage or a ballet. What can really be maintained, so as to carry not a little conviction, is this: that where such a Church has existed it has preserved not only the processions but the dances; not only the cathedral but the carnival. One of the chief claims of Christian civilisation is to have preserved things of pagan origin.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 12, 2020
The Merry Makers
This story is the perfect dark Christmas horror.
A car crash, an odd brother & sister, creatures in the night and strange secrets hidden behind the doors of Mistletoe Hall.
A wonderful start to this collection.
The Unreal
The new episode of Fear Itself, a ghost hunting internet show, is being filmed in a supposedly haunted theatre on Christmas Eve.
I loved the pacing of this. Very creepy that ramped up the fear and paranoia expertly including a jump scare.
Krampus
Grandpa Ludwig has a Christmas story to tell, a somewhat creepy story told from memory not imagination.
Krampus is surprisingly large in scope for so few pages.
Another winner making it 3 from 3.
The Tenth Lesson
A superb Christmas Carol-esque tale that features horrors that dip their toe into bizarro territory.
Again, the pacing is perfect with the reader really feeling the jeopardy that Tregarron is facing.
The Stain
A film crew return to the building where they made a horror 'classic'
The characters aren't entirely original but a fun dark tale
There's some great moments in this enjoyable short but I did find the lack of Christmas somewhat disappointing
#TheChristmasYouDeserve is, bar the last story, a fine festive collection. All the tales are well written and would be perfect to read aloud to your loved ones in front of the fire on a snowy Christmas Eve.
This story is the perfect dark Christmas horror.
A car crash, an odd brother & sister, creatures in the night and strange secrets hidden behind the doors of Mistletoe Hall.
A wonderful start to this collection.
The Unreal
The new episode of Fear Itself, a ghost hunting internet show, is being filmed in a supposedly haunted theatre on Christmas Eve.
I loved the pacing of this. Very creepy that ramped up the fear and paranoia expertly including a jump scare.
Krampus
Grandpa Ludwig has a Christmas story to tell, a somewhat creepy story told from memory not imagination.
Krampus is surprisingly large in scope for so few pages.
Another winner making it 3 from 3.
The Tenth Lesson
A superb Christmas Carol-esque tale that features horrors that dip their toe into bizarro territory.
Again, the pacing is perfect with the reader really feeling the jeopardy that Tregarron is facing.
The Stain
A film crew return to the building where they made a horror 'classic'
The characters aren't entirely original but a fun dark tale
There's some great moments in this enjoyable short but I did find the lack of Christmas somewhat disappointing
#TheChristmasYouDeserve is, bar the last story, a fine festive collection. All the tales are well written and would be perfect to read aloud to your loved ones in front of the fire on a snowy Christmas Eve.
December 18, 2023
What to say? To start, I LOVE the cover.
I'm usually more of a classic ghost story kind of girl than a horror fan, but the five stories here worked for me. Gave me the shivers but weren't too graphic or sadistic or gross. I enjoyed all five, but I think #2 "The Unreal" and #3 Krampus were my favorites. "The Unreal" is about a cavalier paranormal investigator who doesn't believe in the paranormal, planning to debunk the haunted theater legend. The theater is doing a production of Christmas Carol but with ginormous wooden puppets. As one not fond of puppets, dolls, or mannequins, this one got me. Yeek! Loved the backstory on Krampus. Nicely done.
This one's a keeper. I'd pull it down and read it again in future winters.
I'm usually more of a classic ghost story kind of girl than a horror fan, but the five stories here worked for me. Gave me the shivers but weren't too graphic or sadistic or gross. I enjoyed all five, but I think #2 "The Unreal" and #3 Krampus were my favorites. "The Unreal" is about a cavalier paranormal investigator who doesn't believe in the paranormal, planning to debunk the haunted theater legend. The theater is doing a production of Christmas Carol but with ginormous wooden puppets. As one not fond of puppets, dolls, or mannequins, this one got me. Yeek! Loved the backstory on Krampus. Nicely done.
This one's a keeper. I'd pull it down and read it again in future winters.
December 26, 2021
Really enjoyed the descriptive, festive setting and themes to each tale. Many of the stories were left open. Or I felt were lots of questions left unanswered. That can be a good thing, as it keeps you thinking, but I would of liked a few to feel more finished with a solid ending.
December 18, 2024
3.5 stars. I love a good short story collection. Add some Christmas horror and it’s extra fun. Loved The Merry Makers; The Tenth Lesson; and The Stain. DNFd The Unreal and Krampus was more about family drama than the famous Krampus.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews