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Candor: The Secret to Succeeding at Tough Conversations
Overcome the fear of speaking truth by learning to do it with love. In a society where sensitivities take precedence over honesty, it can often feel impossible to openly speak your mind. From managing conflict resolution in the workplace to navigating differences at home, many issues remain unaddressed and unresolved when you cannot speak clearly, candidly, and truthfully for fear of negative consequences. It’s time to learn how to speak the truth in love. In Candor, you’ll learn how truth and love together can unlock pathways to more effective leadership and relationships—even in a day and age when many remain silent for fear of speaking up. Discover how speaking with sensitive and effective candor can reshape your relationships and enable you to live a life of honesty and freedom.
- GenresBusinessNonfiction
176 pages, Paperback
Published April 6, 2021
32 people are currently reading
123 people want to read
About the author
Charles Causey
8 books211 followersCharles Causey's family comes from Hangingdog, North Carolina, a quaint community hidden deep inside the Smoky Mountains. As a boy he ran through lush, green fields alongside his grandfather’s Black Angus cows and swam in the cool creeks and lakes - always with a wary eye out for water moccasins. The tales he heard down those beautifully wooded country roads formed in him a love for people, the outdoors, and good stories, usually told by World War II veterans while rocking together on their front porches. Now Charles has the privilege to serve veterans every day as a military chaplain stationed in Washington D.C. He is married and has four children. His website is: causeybooks.com.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
May 23, 2023
This book discusses a vital topic for today. I was not raised with candor nor was I taught how to be candid in a loving yet honest way. Charles writes for all to understand and in a practical way in which to include candor in everyday life. I have bought several copies and recommend this book to anyone I talk with that struggles with candor.
April 18, 2024
“Candor helps us build relationships because it requires us to be courageous, vulnerable, and willing to offer feedback. It leverages openness and honesty to increase trust.”
If you came to this book to read about one of the five factions of the Divergent series, you’ve got the wrong book, but if you’d like to learn more about candor and how to use honesty and transparency to benefit your relationships, your home, and your workplace, then you’ve come to the right place!
“My goal in writing this book is for the reader to learn to overcome personal fears and cynicism when speaking and to develop skills in wielding candor so that it becomes habitual and others-centered. My goal is also for leaders to learn to be willing to hear things they don’t like without feeling threatened, lashing out, and punishing well-intentioned honesty.”
I will say that I think this book is written more for people in leadership positions of a ministry, organization, or business, or employees/members of said ministries, organizations, and workplaces, rather than a stay-at-home mom. There were a lot of examples given about speaking up in meetings and how to receive criticism as a leader, etc.
While I wasn’t super engaged in the content regarding leaders and employees as it no longer pertains to me, I did find a few of the chapters more relatable. There were chapters on family, friends, difficult people, and charm vs character that I thought were particularly good.
I think if I was going to be in a faction of Divergent, Candor would have been up there for my top picks just because the truth is so important to me. I don’t like having to decipher people’s answers or ‘opinions’ and would rather people just tell me what they think, even if I don’t like it.
How else does one get to know someone? Or make a good decision? Or keep resentment from building in a relationship?
I want the most information. Which is why I feel like I’m tied between Erudite and Candor, but I already told you that’s not what this book is about so I digress.
The definition of candor that the book works out of is this:
“Candor, at its essence, is to speak truth, as a source of encouragement and according to the need of the moment, in order to give grace to the hearers.”
I think it’s also helpful to talk about what candor is NOT:
“Candor does not involve being critical, attacking someone else, or demonizing a person to others.”
“Candor is not gossip. It is not lying. It is not slander. Speaking with candor has a purpose.”
“The opposite of candor is camouflage, a disguise to cover over the truth instead of exposing it… diverting attention away from what is really there.”
I like that Causey makes this distinction because I think people use the excuse of ‘I’m just being honest’ to say hurtful things, or true things in a hurtful way as if they get a pass on whatever they say as long as it’s true.
There are boundaries that are good. Is now the right time to tell the truth? Is it with grace and encouragement with a constructive purpose? Or am I just mad about someone or something and using it as a license to blast them directly or indirectly and claim it’s a truth bomb as if it’s a good thing?
Social media is probably the platform candor is most often misused or used wrongly as a label.
I felt a little bit called out when I read this part:
“We are not to be the conversation police. We are not to correct every wrong thing spoken. In attempting to do so, our need to ensure every fact, stat, and detail is thoroughly communicated takes precedence over loving the people with whom we are speaking.”
This reminded me of Oscar from The Office being the ‘actually’ guy and I know I have the tendency to be the conversation police. The truth is so important to me that I often let it take priority over people and this was a good reminder to me that it’s OKAY for someone to say something minor wrong without it needing to be corrected. Candor is not the most beneficial option in that instance.
“Without love, candor becomes rooted in pride, fear, cynicism, or coldness.”
I also thought these distinctions were good:
“Our candor is either tethered to our character or to our ego.”
Before we speak, we should do a self-check and see if our motives for saying whatever we’re about to say comes from a place of character or ego. The former obviously being the target rather than the latter.
“People are not the enemy. A lack of honesty, poor communication, and fear are the enemies of relationships and all organizations.”
It’s easy to see people as the enemy. They are the ones saying the words or not saying the words. But viewing people as enemies makes it that much harder to come to agreement or understanding. We need to correct our narrative and use the tools in this book to use better communication and in so doing, inviting others to join in, not ‘keeping them out’ as you would an enemy.
This book has a lot of features meant to really help people work on their candor. Each chapter ends with a summary, candor strategies, reflection questions, and then a commitment statement towards using the principles talked about within each chapter.
At the end of the book there is a list of the 22 candor strategies, 8 commitment statements, and a list of discussion questions for groups. I’m assuming this book is often used in the workplace settings to help build a culture of respectful honesty and transparency.
Causey has also included a lot of diagrams to illustrate his points. I admit that I didn’t really find those very helpful. In some cases they seemed distracting to me because they were difficult to interpret. And once I did interpret them they seemed a bit superfluous and I didn’t feel they added much to the book.
I would have preferred to have less diagrams and more conversation examples.
He includes some examples of what people said in meetings or to their spouses, etc, but they are short and don’t really show you how the entire conversation would play out. They felt vague and I think more details on how the solution is reached or what comes next in a dialogue would have been more helpful.
Recommendation
I’m not sure the entire book is for every person, but I think most readers will come away with useful information to enhance their personal and/or working life.
It’s not quite what I was expecting going into the book as it felt more self-helpy and workplace-oriented. I think I had thought it would be more gospel/truth-oriented in speaking truth into controversial situations. It’s still similar, but the approach is just a bit different.
I think it for sure has a place for those who are employees under hard-to-work-with supervisors or leaders who desire to cultivate a culture of honesty.
For readers like me who are stay-at-home moms, the application may not be as robust. But, this book is short, just over 150 pages, and I think good things can still be gleaned. Or at the very least, just read the chapters that pertain to you.
Because we don’t want to be people who are weaponizing truth or hindering growth by staying silent.
“Lives without candor can lead to hypocrisy, bitterness, lying, gossip, and downright division. Lives with candor are more interesting, expectant, truthful, and exploratory.”
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest | StoryGraph
If you came to this book to read about one of the five factions of the Divergent series, you’ve got the wrong book, but if you’d like to learn more about candor and how to use honesty and transparency to benefit your relationships, your home, and your workplace, then you’ve come to the right place!
“My goal in writing this book is for the reader to learn to overcome personal fears and cynicism when speaking and to develop skills in wielding candor so that it becomes habitual and others-centered. My goal is also for leaders to learn to be willing to hear things they don’t like without feeling threatened, lashing out, and punishing well-intentioned honesty.”
I will say that I think this book is written more for people in leadership positions of a ministry, organization, or business, or employees/members of said ministries, organizations, and workplaces, rather than a stay-at-home mom. There were a lot of examples given about speaking up in meetings and how to receive criticism as a leader, etc.
While I wasn’t super engaged in the content regarding leaders and employees as it no longer pertains to me, I did find a few of the chapters more relatable. There were chapters on family, friends, difficult people, and charm vs character that I thought were particularly good.
I think if I was going to be in a faction of Divergent, Candor would have been up there for my top picks just because the truth is so important to me. I don’t like having to decipher people’s answers or ‘opinions’ and would rather people just tell me what they think, even if I don’t like it.
How else does one get to know someone? Or make a good decision? Or keep resentment from building in a relationship?
I want the most information. Which is why I feel like I’m tied between Erudite and Candor, but I already told you that’s not what this book is about so I digress.
The definition of candor that the book works out of is this:
“Candor, at its essence, is to speak truth, as a source of encouragement and according to the need of the moment, in order to give grace to the hearers.”
I think it’s also helpful to talk about what candor is NOT:
“Candor does not involve being critical, attacking someone else, or demonizing a person to others.”
“Candor is not gossip. It is not lying. It is not slander. Speaking with candor has a purpose.”
“The opposite of candor is camouflage, a disguise to cover over the truth instead of exposing it… diverting attention away from what is really there.”
I like that Causey makes this distinction because I think people use the excuse of ‘I’m just being honest’ to say hurtful things, or true things in a hurtful way as if they get a pass on whatever they say as long as it’s true.
There are boundaries that are good. Is now the right time to tell the truth? Is it with grace and encouragement with a constructive purpose? Or am I just mad about someone or something and using it as a license to blast them directly or indirectly and claim it’s a truth bomb as if it’s a good thing?
Social media is probably the platform candor is most often misused or used wrongly as a label.
I felt a little bit called out when I read this part:
“We are not to be the conversation police. We are not to correct every wrong thing spoken. In attempting to do so, our need to ensure every fact, stat, and detail is thoroughly communicated takes precedence over loving the people with whom we are speaking.”
This reminded me of Oscar from The Office being the ‘actually’ guy and I know I have the tendency to be the conversation police. The truth is so important to me that I often let it take priority over people and this was a good reminder to me that it’s OKAY for someone to say something minor wrong without it needing to be corrected. Candor is not the most beneficial option in that instance.
“Without love, candor becomes rooted in pride, fear, cynicism, or coldness.”
I also thought these distinctions were good:
“Our candor is either tethered to our character or to our ego.”
Before we speak, we should do a self-check and see if our motives for saying whatever we’re about to say comes from a place of character or ego. The former obviously being the target rather than the latter.
“People are not the enemy. A lack of honesty, poor communication, and fear are the enemies of relationships and all organizations.”
It’s easy to see people as the enemy. They are the ones saying the words or not saying the words. But viewing people as enemies makes it that much harder to come to agreement or understanding. We need to correct our narrative and use the tools in this book to use better communication and in so doing, inviting others to join in, not ‘keeping them out’ as you would an enemy.
This book has a lot of features meant to really help people work on their candor. Each chapter ends with a summary, candor strategies, reflection questions, and then a commitment statement towards using the principles talked about within each chapter.
At the end of the book there is a list of the 22 candor strategies, 8 commitment statements, and a list of discussion questions for groups. I’m assuming this book is often used in the workplace settings to help build a culture of respectful honesty and transparency.
Causey has also included a lot of diagrams to illustrate his points. I admit that I didn’t really find those very helpful. In some cases they seemed distracting to me because they were difficult to interpret. And once I did interpret them they seemed a bit superfluous and I didn’t feel they added much to the book.
I would have preferred to have less diagrams and more conversation examples.
He includes some examples of what people said in meetings or to their spouses, etc, but they are short and don’t really show you how the entire conversation would play out. They felt vague and I think more details on how the solution is reached or what comes next in a dialogue would have been more helpful.
Recommendation
I’m not sure the entire book is for every person, but I think most readers will come away with useful information to enhance their personal and/or working life.
It’s not quite what I was expecting going into the book as it felt more self-helpy and workplace-oriented. I think I had thought it would be more gospel/truth-oriented in speaking truth into controversial situations. It’s still similar, but the approach is just a bit different.
I think it for sure has a place for those who are employees under hard-to-work-with supervisors or leaders who desire to cultivate a culture of honesty.
For readers like me who are stay-at-home moms, the application may not be as robust. But, this book is short, just over 150 pages, and I think good things can still be gleaned. Or at the very least, just read the chapters that pertain to you.
Because we don’t want to be people who are weaponizing truth or hindering growth by staying silent.
“Lives without candor can lead to hypocrisy, bitterness, lying, gossip, and downright division. Lives with candor are more interesting, expectant, truthful, and exploratory.”
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest | StoryGraph
April 22, 2021
This book couldn't have come at a better time for me. For the past year or 2, I've been trying to better myself in speaking frankly without fear but with love. Because of my tendency to be shy and struggle with social anxiety, I'm a natural people pleaser and I hate it. I'm candid only with those closest to me but not with people outside, fearing that they may think the worst of me.
"Candor" written by Colonel Charles Causey, military chaplain for many years, talks about the importance and necessity of being honest at all times. Through real life stories, both personal and from family and friends, graphics, examples, and experience, Causey explains how Candor affects us and those around us. Each chapter talks about Candor in real places; at work, at home(family), friends, with ourselves, and difficult people. Causey uses what he calls "the four keys" to define candor;
1. Speak the unspoken truth
2. With love
3. When needed
4. To benefit others
I found this very helpful especially because I struggle to say the truth during hard conversations. I found chapters 5 and 7 the most helpful which speak on being honest with yourself and being honest with difficult people. This book is all around very encouraging and convicting at the same time and I will definitely be applying some of these tips
Wow, there really is so much good to be said about this book but I'll just say, read it yourself, I guarantee, you will learn something.
I received a copy of this book from Moody in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed here are entirely my own.
"Candor" written by Colonel Charles Causey, military chaplain for many years, talks about the importance and necessity of being honest at all times. Through real life stories, both personal and from family and friends, graphics, examples, and experience, Causey explains how Candor affects us and those around us. Each chapter talks about Candor in real places; at work, at home(family), friends, with ourselves, and difficult people. Causey uses what he calls "the four keys" to define candor;
1. Speak the unspoken truth
2. With love
3. When needed
4. To benefit others
I found this very helpful especially because I struggle to say the truth during hard conversations. I found chapters 5 and 7 the most helpful which speak on being honest with yourself and being honest with difficult people. This book is all around very encouraging and convicting at the same time and I will definitely be applying some of these tips
Wow, there really is so much good to be said about this book but I'll just say, read it yourself, I guarantee, you will learn something.
I received a copy of this book from Moody in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed here are entirely my own.
April 8, 2021
Let me be candid with you...this is a great book that will make you reevaluate how you have lived your life with other people.
Looking back on my life I can honestly say that to often I have let thoughts of how other people will react to what I have to say keep me in silence when what I have to say is important and could save the company or an individual a lot of heartache.
Causey starts off the book with a familiar tale: The Emperor Has No Clothes. This familiar tale illustrates the problem of keeping silent when candor would be helpful. Many of us have faced people who don't react well to candor. The result is too often silence when they speak or a bobble-head dog reaction to what they have to say no matter how ridiculous it is.
There are 4 keys to your candor though. 1. Speak the unspoken truth, 2. With love, 3. When needed, 4. To benefit others. Causey persuasively argues that if you handle situations that way candor will benefit all. It still might not be an easy path but looking back on it, it will be all worth it.
Give it a read and let it change how you deal with others.
Looking back on my life I can honestly say that to often I have let thoughts of how other people will react to what I have to say keep me in silence when what I have to say is important and could save the company or an individual a lot of heartache.
Causey starts off the book with a familiar tale: The Emperor Has No Clothes. This familiar tale illustrates the problem of keeping silent when candor would be helpful. Many of us have faced people who don't react well to candor. The result is too often silence when they speak or a bobble-head dog reaction to what they have to say no matter how ridiculous it is.
There are 4 keys to your candor though. 1. Speak the unspoken truth, 2. With love, 3. When needed, 4. To benefit others. Causey persuasively argues that if you handle situations that way candor will benefit all. It still might not be an easy path but looking back on it, it will be all worth it.
Give it a read and let it change how you deal with others.
April 3, 2021
"Candor, The Secret to Succeeding at Tough Conversations," is an excellent introduction and learning resource for everyone who desires to have truly effective and close relationships with not only their friends and family, but also with coworkers, including their bosses and supervisors. Charles Causey, the author, guides the reader from the basic definition of candor, through instructive first steps to commitments for continuous life applications.
"Candor" should not merely be read and set aside, but rather should be read and reread several times, perhaps on a yearly schedule. I found the eternal truths found within these pages to be helpful to all ages, adolescent through adult, and would make a great study book for small groups.
"Speak the unspoken truth, with love, when needed, to benefit others!"
Highly recommended.
"Candor" should not merely be read and set aside, but rather should be read and reread several times, perhaps on a yearly schedule. I found the eternal truths found within these pages to be helpful to all ages, adolescent through adult, and would make a great study book for small groups.
"Speak the unspoken truth, with love, when needed, to benefit others!"
Highly recommended.
September 13, 2021
This little book packs a punch, in the best way. It is everything so many other ‘speak the truth/tough conversations’ books miss. I read it with a couple friends as a type of book study together and it causes me to really take my time, think through what was written, and evaluate which aspects I needed to start, improve, or (for a couple) was on the right track. I made tons of notes. It is so readable but is not fluffy. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a challenge and growth in how to truly speak candidly, and the right way to think about it before you try.
5 stars, with thanks to the author.
5 stars, with thanks to the author.
April 10, 2021
“...lives with candor keeps things interesting, expectant, truthful, and exploratory. Candor helps build relationships using courage, vulnerability, and feedback. It leverages openness and honesty to increase trust, bringing greater value to organizations and relationships. But this environment cannot be created when there is fear.”
So many good quotes and nuggets of truth from Charles Causey’s new release, Candor! It’s a must read for anyone looking to grow in their relationships with others!
So many good quotes and nuggets of truth from Charles Causey’s new release, Candor! It’s a must read for anyone looking to grow in their relationships with others!
April 11, 2021
This book has been eye opening in many ways for me. While I am an extremely honest person, I tend to shy away from confrontation at all cost. Reading this book has taught me that we can approach people with the honest truth, in a loving way, and with their upmost interest and benefit in mind and heart. I will forever be grateful for the gems of truth and wisdom that I gained from reading this book by Mr. Causey.
April 15, 2021
By chapter two I was searching my heart and repenting for times I should have used candor but didn't and for times my motives for candor were love of myself above others.
I have been challenged to "Let your words mean something. Let them be a reflection of your character."
I feel that this book has given me tools that I can use to accomplish these goals.
Thank you Chaplain Causey!
I have been challenged to "Let your words mean something. Let them be a reflection of your character."
I feel that this book has given me tools that I can use to accomplish these goals.
Thank you Chaplain Causey!
April 4, 2021
Candor is one of those words that people like to use, but often don't have a good understanding of, nor do most know/understand HOW to actually execute it. This book does a superb job of not only explaining candor in easily ways to understand, but it also breaks out the use of candor in just about every possible relationship - family, friends, marriage, work, difficult people, and more. It provides scores of helpful assists in utilizing candor in these various situations, including ideas for questions to ask, things to say in certain situations.
While there is much that I appreciated in this book, I have to say the one thing above others that I took extra note of is the repeated theme that we actually offer ourselves more 'grace' than we do others - regardless of who they are. For example, if we run late, we have plenty of excuses or reasons as to why - and expect others to understand, yet if someone is running late with us we don't often have the same understanding we would expect if roles were reversed. This theme underlies much of Charles' take, but isn't pulled out as it's own identity in the book - just nicely runs throughout! This fact underscores the effectiveness of how well put together this book is...it is simply fantastically arranged, and easy to reference when you need to focus on one particular type of relationship in your life - and do it with Candor.
Being a person who puts a lot of stock in behavioral traits and how they work together, and how they can benefit relationships of any type, this book was a breath of fresh air. It provided some interesting takes on some things that I hadn't considered before, which is high praise for a book on a subject one is quite familiar with, to offer new ways to think, and things to consider.
All in all this is an engaging, much needed book about a something today's culture desperately needs. As Charles noted, not long ago in the world at large - for most of the history of the world in fact - candor was expected, a sign of respect - but it our world today, like many things, it has all but disappeared, and needs to be revived. Hopefully this book can help that happen!
Can't recommend this book enough...read it and thank me later, you WILL be better because of reading it!
While there is much that I appreciated in this book, I have to say the one thing above others that I took extra note of is the repeated theme that we actually offer ourselves more 'grace' than we do others - regardless of who they are. For example, if we run late, we have plenty of excuses or reasons as to why - and expect others to understand, yet if someone is running late with us we don't often have the same understanding we would expect if roles were reversed. This theme underlies much of Charles' take, but isn't pulled out as it's own identity in the book - just nicely runs throughout! This fact underscores the effectiveness of how well put together this book is...it is simply fantastically arranged, and easy to reference when you need to focus on one particular type of relationship in your life - and do it with Candor.
Being a person who puts a lot of stock in behavioral traits and how they work together, and how they can benefit relationships of any type, this book was a breath of fresh air. It provided some interesting takes on some things that I hadn't considered before, which is high praise for a book on a subject one is quite familiar with, to offer new ways to think, and things to consider.
All in all this is an engaging, much needed book about a something today's culture desperately needs. As Charles noted, not long ago in the world at large - for most of the history of the world in fact - candor was expected, a sign of respect - but it our world today, like many things, it has all but disappeared, and needs to be revived. Hopefully this book can help that happen!
Can't recommend this book enough...read it and thank me later, you WILL be better because of reading it!
March 31, 2021
This is an excellent book for the time we live in. Candor is an absolute necessity.
There are probably quite a few people who think they are using candor…speaking honestly, pointing to the truth, calling out inconsistencies or false data, and generally trying to get a point across. But, if there’s anything we’ve learned in 2020-21, and even before, it’s that people of differing opinions seem to find it supremely difficult to even be in the same space as one another, let alone talk.
Tough conversations are needed.
We need to be able to talk to people who grew up or look or talk or act or believe differently than us. Regardless of any of that, all are created in the Image Dei, the image of God. We are all human. We have the same Creator. We need to treat each other that way.
Candor is needed.
Candor is not simply speaking the truth at any time. Candor is better defined by Charles Causey, the author of this book, as speaking the unspoken truth with love when needed to benefit others. That is quite a criteria of speaking truth! If it is not being done with love, hold off until you can speak with love in your heart toward them. If it is not being done at the right time, or when needed, hold off until you can speak at the right time. If it is not being done to benefit others, hold off until your motives are better aligned.
Candor is needed to have tough conversations. Both are needed in this moment we live.
This book is timely. This book is one you should read. It is not the easy road. These are not easy conversations. But we need to have them. We need to be able to have civil dialogue that is not clouded by overwhelming disdain toward another in such a way they are viewed as less than human.
Candor can help.
If you want to begin the hard journey, begin the journey of succeeding in tough conversations, this book is a great first step along the way.
There are probably quite a few people who think they are using candor…speaking honestly, pointing to the truth, calling out inconsistencies or false data, and generally trying to get a point across. But, if there’s anything we’ve learned in 2020-21, and even before, it’s that people of differing opinions seem to find it supremely difficult to even be in the same space as one another, let alone talk.
Tough conversations are needed.
We need to be able to talk to people who grew up or look or talk or act or believe differently than us. Regardless of any of that, all are created in the Image Dei, the image of God. We are all human. We have the same Creator. We need to treat each other that way.
Candor is needed.
Candor is not simply speaking the truth at any time. Candor is better defined by Charles Causey, the author of this book, as speaking the unspoken truth with love when needed to benefit others. That is quite a criteria of speaking truth! If it is not being done with love, hold off until you can speak with love in your heart toward them. If it is not being done at the right time, or when needed, hold off until you can speak at the right time. If it is not being done to benefit others, hold off until your motives are better aligned.
Candor is needed to have tough conversations. Both are needed in this moment we live.
This book is timely. This book is one you should read. It is not the easy road. These are not easy conversations. But we need to have them. We need to be able to have civil dialogue that is not clouded by overwhelming disdain toward another in such a way they are viewed as less than human.
Candor can help.
If you want to begin the hard journey, begin the journey of succeeding in tough conversations, this book is a great first step along the way.
April 1, 2021
Charles Causey addresses an immensely pertinent issue that we all need to confront, how to be successful in having those tough conversations with our friends, family members, colleagues, and supervisors.
In this short volume, Causey focuses on the importance of candor, how we need to be honest and truthful when conversing with others. He expounds what candor is and isn't. He reiterates that we must speak in love, not hate or bitterness.
Causey organizes the book into chapters on how to converse with different groups of people (family, friends, colleagues). This is a major plus in the book. We all know that we relate and converse with others in different ways, but the foundation has to be one of candor.
I would have preferred it to be more Scripture based, using a variety of examples from sacred Scripture to support his claims, looking at conversations in the Bible that illustrate his points.
I received a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review.
In this short volume, Causey focuses on the importance of candor, how we need to be honest and truthful when conversing with others. He expounds what candor is and isn't. He reiterates that we must speak in love, not hate or bitterness.
Causey organizes the book into chapters on how to converse with different groups of people (family, friends, colleagues). This is a major plus in the book. We all know that we relate and converse with others in different ways, but the foundation has to be one of candor.
I would have preferred it to be more Scripture based, using a variety of examples from sacred Scripture to support his claims, looking at conversations in the Bible that illustrate his points.
I received a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review.
July 10, 2022
If you need to have a tough conversation, read this book first. It takes a number of scenarios (home, workplace, etc.) and walks you through how to broach the subject and how to respond.
December 30, 2021
Thought-provoking
November 18, 2022
I enjoyed this read. Candor can be difficult and I think that Charles makes it applicable. I agreed with about 95% of Charles thoughts.
December 20, 2024
Great book. Easy read. Full of helpful, self reflecting and relational information.
January 14, 2025
An excellent resource for becoming a better communicator.
June 10, 2025
Good, practical tools for having those difficult conversations.
April 5, 2021
EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK! NOW!
“A resurgence of candor in society is desperately needed today to create authentic, close relationships.”
“People are quick to say things or post items on social media before the information is censored by their moral compass. This can cause a lot of relationship damage.”
This book is so timely and invaluable in our world and nation today. This book does not condone the type of candor that is proving so divisive on social media and in society. This is not the kind of no-filter, vitriolic speech prevalent today. As Charles says, “Lives without candor can lead to hypocrisy, bitterness, lying, gossip, and downright division.” Sounds familiar doesn’t it. Instead he tells us what true candor is and how to nurture and develop it in all areas and interactions in our lives. Charles says, “It [candor] leverages openness and honesty to increase trust. It brings greater value to organizations and relationships.” Charles equips us with how to “speak the truth, with love, when needed, to benefit others.”
Consuming the information in this succinct 177-page book has already greatly benefited, encouraged, and equipped me with valuable tools for restoring and healing relationships with others while embarking on this reading journey that is Candor—as well as performing some earnest, candid self-reflection. Everyone will benefit from this book, so long as they’re willing to be vulnerable and open to doing some soul searching of their own. I found it equally valuable at making me aware of how to treat, respond, and react to others—including “difficult” people—while also being honest as to where I may be contributing to the problem or lack of healing.
“It is not loving to disguise who we truly are. An action step that can be taken in response to fear and the other enemies of candor is to speak up, not in an effort to be noticed but to overcome the fear of being exposed.”
Allow me to give you but one example of how and where it was beneficial to me specifically—and there were many. I found myself convicted where Charles says, “I heard it said once that we judge ourselves by our motives, but we judge others by their behavior. . . . I rarely give anyone else the same benefit of the doubt. Instead, I immediately assume they were intending harm all along or scheming to make my life more miserable.” He goes on to say, “This is where trust comes in. It is not blind faith; it’s simply mastering the ability to give others the same grace that I give to myself. When we hear things from others that do not sound right, instead of stewing about it or gossiping about it with others *gulp, guilty* we clarify it. We trust that others have the same good intentions we do. Trust is integral to the process of transferring from diseased societal candor to healthy, loving candor. With trust we can learn to come into situations of relating to others without any prejudging or stereotypes, past grudges, or feelings of fear or cynicism.” Charles, you are preaching to me! This was written for me and I needed to hear it! I struggle with trusting others and I have the flaw of being a ruminator . . . and that is just as hurtful and damaging as the one who committed the initial hurt. No one wins. No healing can occur.
I took the strategy and advice of: “Make it a point to engage the difficult topics. This is counterintuitive and seems dangerous. However, sometimes you have to go out on a limb because that is where the fruit is.” And I believe I was rewarded with an abundance of fruitfulness and much restoration in my life!
This book is a wealth of tools to be used in EVERY possible situation where being candid is so imperative. I highlighted much of the ARC PDF I graciously received from author Charles Causey and thank you to Northfield Publishing—imprint of Moody Publishers—for the ARC. I highly recommend the ebook version if you’re averse to marking up a hardcopy . . . because, trust me, you’re gonna want to highlight copious amounts of this short yet powerful book and jot down thoughts and notes.
May you all be blessed with CANDOR!
“A resurgence of candor in society is desperately needed today to create authentic, close relationships.”
“People are quick to say things or post items on social media before the information is censored by their moral compass. This can cause a lot of relationship damage.”
This book is so timely and invaluable in our world and nation today. This book does not condone the type of candor that is proving so divisive on social media and in society. This is not the kind of no-filter, vitriolic speech prevalent today. As Charles says, “Lives without candor can lead to hypocrisy, bitterness, lying, gossip, and downright division.” Sounds familiar doesn’t it. Instead he tells us what true candor is and how to nurture and develop it in all areas and interactions in our lives. Charles says, “It [candor] leverages openness and honesty to increase trust. It brings greater value to organizations and relationships.” Charles equips us with how to “speak the truth, with love, when needed, to benefit others.”
Consuming the information in this succinct 177-page book has already greatly benefited, encouraged, and equipped me with valuable tools for restoring and healing relationships with others while embarking on this reading journey that is Candor—as well as performing some earnest, candid self-reflection. Everyone will benefit from this book, so long as they’re willing to be vulnerable and open to doing some soul searching of their own. I found it equally valuable at making me aware of how to treat, respond, and react to others—including “difficult” people—while also being honest as to where I may be contributing to the problem or lack of healing.
“It is not loving to disguise who we truly are. An action step that can be taken in response to fear and the other enemies of candor is to speak up, not in an effort to be noticed but to overcome the fear of being exposed.”
Allow me to give you but one example of how and where it was beneficial to me specifically—and there were many. I found myself convicted where Charles says, “I heard it said once that we judge ourselves by our motives, but we judge others by their behavior. . . . I rarely give anyone else the same benefit of the doubt. Instead, I immediately assume they were intending harm all along or scheming to make my life more miserable.” He goes on to say, “This is where trust comes in. It is not blind faith; it’s simply mastering the ability to give others the same grace that I give to myself. When we hear things from others that do not sound right, instead of stewing about it or gossiping about it with others *gulp, guilty* we clarify it. We trust that others have the same good intentions we do. Trust is integral to the process of transferring from diseased societal candor to healthy, loving candor. With trust we can learn to come into situations of relating to others without any prejudging or stereotypes, past grudges, or feelings of fear or cynicism.” Charles, you are preaching to me! This was written for me and I needed to hear it! I struggle with trusting others and I have the flaw of being a ruminator . . . and that is just as hurtful and damaging as the one who committed the initial hurt. No one wins. No healing can occur.
I took the strategy and advice of: “Make it a point to engage the difficult topics. This is counterintuitive and seems dangerous. However, sometimes you have to go out on a limb because that is where the fruit is.” And I believe I was rewarded with an abundance of fruitfulness and much restoration in my life!
This book is a wealth of tools to be used in EVERY possible situation where being candid is so imperative. I highlighted much of the ARC PDF I graciously received from author Charles Causey and thank you to Northfield Publishing—imprint of Moody Publishers—for the ARC. I highly recommend the ebook version if you’re averse to marking up a hardcopy . . . because, trust me, you’re gonna want to highlight copious amounts of this short yet powerful book and jot down thoughts and notes.
May you all be blessed with CANDOR!
March 3, 2024
I appreciated his perspective and advice on how to handle difficult conversations well, which is definitely something I have struggled with
January 5, 2023
This book opened my eyes to some issues that I have. It’s candidness was sometimes a bitter pill to swallow. I look forward to addressing the log in my eye and then work on developing more intimate relationships through the phenomenal tool of true candor.
December 23, 2023
I gave this book a low rating because the focus was primarily on workplace scenarios, which was not my impression from the description. I did appreciate the author's humility and primary guideline that truth should always be spoken, but in love with the goal of helping others. I tried to envision applying the content to a board that I serve on in terms of business relationships, but I still could not connect. I think the material was too impersonal to be helpful in any relationship more intimate than work acquaintance.
August 8, 2023
A book about candor that does not go deep enough
The author talks about candor in various situations and how to use candor to make situations better. They however, deal with the subject superficially and provide generic principles on how to demonstrate candor. Real life is lot more complicated and harder than author makes out it to be.
The author talks about candor in various situations and how to use candor to make situations better. They however, deal with the subject superficially and provide generic principles on how to demonstrate candor. Real life is lot more complicated and harder than author makes out it to be.
June 8, 2025
This book should be on every bookshelf in the world. If we would be more forthcoming, the world be an amazing place to be. Employees should not have to worry about where they stood in a company and do their job without their boss breathing down their necks unnecessarily.
May 5, 2025
This book can be summed up in one sentence: Be honest but don't be too rude about it; also do it in front of other people because other people are probably thinking the same thing.
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