Getting Over Yourself: Trading Believe-in-Yourself Religion for Christ-Centered Christianity

by Dean Inserra

Is trying to be “the best you” actually ruining you? From “living your best life” to “self-actualizing,” “finding your destiny,” and “waiting on the best to come,” the contemporary messages of the world exhort us to believe that we are promised and entitled the biggest and best life can possibly offer. But is that actually what Jesus promises? Is that even close to the message of the gospel? Getting Over Yourself is a call for Christians to reject these hollow messages of personal prosperity and to return to the humble truths of the gospel. You’ll learn how to identify this insidious, popular theology in culture and churches and examine its devastating effects. And, perhaps most importantly, you’ll learn how to combat it with gospel truth that leads to the abundant life Jesus actually desires for His people. Discover the beauty in losing yourself—and ultimately in gaining Him.

Genres: Christian, Christian Living, Faith, Nonfiction, Christianity, Religion

176 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2021

About the author

DEAN INSERRA is a graduate of Liberty University and holds a M.A. in Theological Studies from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is pursuing a D. Min. from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and is the founding pastor of City Church. He is passionate about reaching the city of Tallahassee with the Gospel, to see a worldwide impact made for Jesus. Dean is married to Krissie and they have two sons, Tommy and Ty, and one daughter, Sally Ashlyn. He likes baseball, wrestling, and the Miami Hurricanes. He believes Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback and that everyone who disagrees holds the right to be wrong.

Reviews

[Jonathan Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first encountered this author through a different book but began hearing him making the rounds on my podcast library talking about this book. What he said made so much sense. As I glanced at past student’s instagrams and talking with many younger believers I saw that much like during the early 1900s when Machen wrote Christianity and Liberalism, we have two religions vying for dominance in Christianity. One based on worldly views of what Christ’s death purchased (a new prosperity gospel) and on that is based on the Biblical view of his death. This book clearly speaks to what is going on.

The only thing I wish was that this book were more written for those stuck in that worldview. What he calls The New Prosperity Gospel. This book will help believers speak to the issues with this new religion but it is not something we could give to them to read. Maybe he will produce that at some point .

Recommended

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good. Timely message!

[Amanda E. (aebooksandwords) · Rating 4 out of 5]

We know instinctively that Christianity is to be about Christ and the message of the Gospel. Despite this, the reality is that much of Christendom is focused on other things such as perceived benefits they are told they will receive as believers, getting what they desire, or living their “best lives now.”

In the book “Getting Over Yourself,” author and pastor Dean Inserra writes about “trading believe-in-yourself religion for Christ-centered Christianity” and why it is key that Christ be the main thing. We aren’t to define what we think the abundant Christian life should look like on our terms or the world’s terms, but God’s.

In America and the rest of the western world, we often seem to think God is all about helping us achieve our personal goals and dreams. However, in areas outside of the western world, so few can simply even pursue what they might want to; some cannot even guarantee they will have basic provisions we take for granted.

“By His grace and sovereign will, God is working all things together for our good—not for our personal dreams, but for His dream for His people: to make us more like Jesus (Rom. 8:28-29).”

I highly recommend this book. It is a mighty and needed wake up call for us, an important reminder that we are called to get our focus off of ourselves and put following Jesus and seeking His kingdom and ways first. This book convicted me deeply as I read it and will provide needed correction for most every believer.

Thank you to Moody Publishers for gifting me a copy of this book. I am leaving this review voluntarily and was not required to leave a positive review. All opinions are my own.

[Brandi Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I rarely write reviews these days, but this book warrants one. As someone who once had their ears tickled by what Inserra calls “the new prosperity gospel,” I believe that this book is really important for believers. This me-centered, self-help focused version of Christianity is becoming more influential and the believers who subscribe to it don’t even realize that they are severely gospel deficient. Inserra does an incredible job of outlining the problem, identifying the characteristics, and speaking to what sets these churches apart from those that faithfully preach/teach biblical Christianity.

This is one of those books that I’m praying the Lord will use mightily to open the eyes of believers in these new prosperity churches. And I’m also praying that the Lord will continue to raise up faithful pastors to lead biblical, Christ-centered churches for those ex-new prosperity folks to call their church home.

[Denise Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Getting Over Yourself, Dean Inserra addresses a big problem in many churches today - the self-help gospel. In his own words he states, “My primary impetus to write this book is not because I think hip, popular prosperity churches are having too much fun. It’s because Jesus really is better than whatever else we could chase, and I don’t want anyone to miss him.”

The Bible teaches that Christians are to die to self. The new prosperity gospel says that we are to live for self. These teachings are diametrically opposed.

Dean Inserra exposes the problem while weaving through his book the true and only gospel.

[Andy Treece · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Excellent book that exposes some of the subtle lies in prosperity and prosperity-lite Christianity that turns the focus on ourselves and self-fulfillment. The author contrasts those lies with the Gospel, the glory of Christ, and self-denial in following Him. Much needed book to counter the half-truths and lies of popular, Americanized Christianity.

[Cullen Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely essential read for Christians. It really places the purpose of our faith and our mission on Earth into proper perspective, and it provides helpful tips on how to avoid unbiblical thinking when it comes to worship, interpreting Scripture, and navigating through life.

[Danielle Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely caused a lot of self reflection and conviction. Would recommend to anyone who wants a deeper relationship with Jesus.

[Tassiana · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Jesus and His redemptive work must become the focus of not just their salvation but also their sanctification. Anything else will certainly leave a Christian malnourished, headed for a place where a diet of nothing but sugar and sweets will take its toll."

I picked this book up when I saw a recommendation for it, as I am in a season of struggling with humility. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with this book. I think it is important and points out important flaws in the doctrine we hear in the world today and the churches that are becoming prosperity churches.

However I feel as though this book was much longer than it needed to be and was very repetitive. The info that I felt really hit me and made me think were more of the quotes and paraphrasing he got from other people as opposed to his own words.

This is my personal experience but I still recommend you give it a shot if you are solid in your faith and want to dig deeper and become less focused on yourself in the process.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a while since I've seen a book I wanted to review. I was looking at the Moody Publishers Newsroom website and the title of this book caught my eye: Getting Over Yourself: Trading Believe-In-Yourself Religion for Christ-Centered Christianity.
If I remember correctly, when I was looking at the preview of the book online the chapter titles were a big part of what convinced me that this would be a good read, Here's a little sample of them:

1.LOSERVILLE : Is Christianity for the Cool, Trendy, and Successful?
4. HASHTAG FILTER: The Promise of a Socially Approved Life
5. THIS IS SO BORING: The New Prosperity Cardinal Sin of Settling For The Mundane

I love the title of Chapter 5, it's so true! The living a mundane life really does seem to be a sin in our age. It really looked like this guy had a lot of the same thoughts my dad (a pastor) has had on the state of modern 'Christianity', so I ordered the book.

Of course, it turned out that the chapter titles weren't the only interesting thing; their content is also interesting. Inserra does a lot of Biblical critiquing of modern popular Christianity. But the critique often hits close to home, many of his chapters are quite convicting and yet oddly comforting in that they are reminders that the Christian life is supposed to be hard, and that dying to self really will be painful. Here's an excerpt from one:

""Jesus told His disciples, 'If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of me will save it' (Luke 9:23-24). Jesus is calling HIs disciples to attend a daily funeral for their own ambitions and pride. The cross was not a piece of jewelry in New Testament times. It wasn't a living room decoration carved nicely to fit on the mantel. There weren't crosses hanging in any place of worship. A cross meant one thing: death. It was a curse to hang on one, to receive capital punishment in a gruesome manner for crimes committed. It would be the equivalent of being told to pick up your lethal injection or electric chair. For Jesus to tell His followers to carry their crosses (prior to HIs own death, which would probably have shed light on the metaphor) meant a call to die to themselves. This probably sounded insane, but is much better than the alternative given in the next verse: 'For what does it benefit someone if he gains the whole world, and yet loses or forfeits himself?' (Luke 9:25)"

One little statement in the book I found particularly thought provoking: "Our problem is when we're trying to use Christianity to be a better version of ourselves rather than a more accurate reflection of Him…" That truly fits more with our having become a new creature (not just bettered creatures), in Christ, and turns the focus away from having our own talents used by God and level sets our gaze toward whatever work God has for us, whether it utilized our talents or not. After all, God will probably often put us in positions that we are not naturally talented at/fit for to show His power in us.

As I mentioned, my dad is a pastor, and he has done lots of counseling over the years. At one point, I found a section of this book particularly startling in its correlation to what I know dad has experienced over the years in counselling wives in troubled marriages. My mom can attest to it as she accompanies him in these counseling sessions. Inserra's list of what wives will say: "'I feel like I settled' 'What if I married the wrong person?'….. 'I just feel like I need to focus on myself for a while…. And then the famous line: 'I believe that God just wants to be happy.'" fits exactly what mom and dad have heard from unhappy wives. As the author laments: "The life God has given you, and (in the case of marriage and parenthood) has directly called you to, becomes a symbol for all that is keeping you from a 'truly' fulfilling life." This is all in the chapter about the sin of mundaneness. Our idea of the Christian life seems to be that of a life of self service, and self glorification rather than the service of God and others. In the book it's noted that: "Contentment is a borderline curse word in pop-Christianity, because not pursuing or desiring something 'better' is seen as settling for less than God's best……Ironically, the discontented life is one that is actually settling for less than God's best….The yellow brick road to God's best life for us is one of contentment in Christ, obedience to Christ, fulfillment in Christ."

Now, I need to mention that there were a couple of things in the book that I didn't think were particularly Biblical, but the only one that I feel the need to address is where Inserra talks about running into someone who had left the church he's the pastor of, this woman had left because she had begun a same-sex relationship and knew that the church stood with God's Word against those types of relationship. He seems to indicate to her that she didn't have to leave - apparently she still would have been welcome to attend the worship services and Bible studies. That concession really surprised me because of Biblical instructions like in the Apostle Paul's first letter to the Corinthians where he tells them not to associate with professing Christians who are living in unrepentant sexual immorality: "I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. 'Purge the evil person from among you.'(1Co 5:9-13 ESV) Of course, if a fellow Christian sins, we don't immediately kick them out of the church, we try to restore them first (Gal 6:1, James 5:19-20, Titus 3:9-11…etc), but if they are persistent and will not repent, we must separate, and perhaps God will use the separation to lead them to repentance (2 Thess 3:14).

But for the most part Inserra seems very Biblically focused. To reiterate what he demonstrates and critiques clearly in the book: modern 'Christianity' is obsessed with self. I especially see it in memes on Facebook, like those depicting a girl saying to the Devil, "I am the storm" (how arrogant!). Others brag about being princesses because we're daughters of the King, but their intent (at least from my perspective) seems to be aimed at making people treat us like Princesses. It has been lamentable to see the focus of Christianity trending toward self, rather than God. We worship our worship, worship our devotion to God, and worship our own 'potential'. This book is a breath of fresh air. It was refreshing to read a book written from a Biblical perspective that reiterates the Bible's focus on God, not on ourselves. I'll end with one more quote from the book: "It's clear that God is fully satisfied with Jesus. Am I?"

Many thanks to the folks at Moody Publishers Newsroom for the free review copy of this book (my review did not have to be favorable).

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who spent over 15 years in two New Prosperity churches (as defined by the author), I can assure you that everything he says is 100% accurate. He was so spot on, there were times when I wanted to shout, "Yes, exactly!"
One reviewer complained that the author did not cite specific names or examples from the movement, but this simply is not true. The author directly quotes from Steven Furtick's "Sun Stands Still" and "Greater" books on pages 34 and 99, Sarah Young's "Jesus Calling" on page 47, Rachel Hollis's "Girl, Wash Your Face" and "Girl, Stop Apologizing" on page 56, and of course, the obvious one, Joel Osteen on page 90. However, the point of the book is not to just name names of "avoid these people". The author is trying to make a point that the New Prosperity movement is alive and well in your local area and here's how you can recognize it. What he's describing is a prevalent problem, especially in the Bible Belt.
The author often quotes from many sources to support his argument, sometimes seeming as though he was simply stringing together one quote after another, but this didn't bother me too much because the message needs to be restated as many times as possible. If anything, this gave credence to the author's message and showed just how many solid Biblical teachers agree with him. Also, if you needed to know which ministers to read or listen to, any of these sources would be excellent choices.
For the importance of this message, the thorough treatment of the subject, and the incredible list of solid Bible ministers he sourced, "Getting Over Yourself" deserves five stars. I'm wondering how many of these to buy and keep on hand to pass out to friends, family, acquaintances, and possibly random strangers.

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

13 chapters feel too long for this book but I still enjoyed it very much. I thought the author's criticism of prosperity gospel movements was strong.

Some of the quotes I want to remember:

On Christians: "The New Testament Church was identified with persecutions, prisons, and poverty; today many of us are identified with prosperity, popularity, and personalities."

On marriage: "In the past every culture assumed that you found truth outside the self, either in God or tradition or some transcendent values, or in the good of your family and community. That meant we had some objective, external norms by which disputes between persons could be adjudicated. Now our culture says we find truth inside ourselves; we are told to “live our truth” and never sacrifice our happiness and inner desires for someone else. To do so is unhealthy at best—oppression at worst. Marriage, however, requires this kind of mutual sacrifice every single day. So it’s not surprising that both marriage and also child-bearing is in decline in our culture."

[Panda Incognito · Rating 5 out of 5]

This straightforward, well-written book helps Christians recognize and understand the phenomenon of what Dean Inserra calls "pop Christianity" or the "new prosperity theology." In this worldview, God exists to help us maximize our lives, fulfill our dreams, and become our best selves, and the story of Christ becomes a motivational speech about how God will help us achieve fulfillment and accomplish our goals. Inserra shows how this message diverges from a biblical understanding of the gospel, and he evaluates the damage that this ideology is doing. In response, he clearly articulates the truth of the gospel, the hope that we have in Christ, and the freedom that we can find when we stop looking inward and find our identity in purpose in God, not His perceived support for our dreams and self-improvement goals.

Clear and Even-Handed

This book can help pastors and laypeople understand the worldly, secularized distortion of Christianity that they see around them, and it's also great for people who are in the midst of this teaching, see its insufficiency, and are looking for more. Inserra writes with civility and fairness, repeatedly emphasizing that he doesn't think that all new prosperity preachers or their congregants are "raging egomaniacs" who intend to distort the gospel. He acknowledges that many people genuinely don't know better, are just repeating the best advice they've heard, and don't know what a Christ-centered faith would look like.

Inserra clearly wrote this out of loving motives, not a desire to create controversy or get attention. This is for people who need to understand what's going on in the larger American church outside of their healthy congregations, and it's for people who are tired of bootstrapping, consumerist, self-focused faith. It's not about shaming celebrity pastors, and even though Inserra occasionally mentions problematic influences by name, like when he writes about the Girl, Wash Your Face phenomenon, he affords people anonymity whenever possible. He often shares anecdotes or quotes without providing identifying details about the people or churches involved, and he dismantles the wrong ideas without ever attacking the people presenting them.

Recommendation

Because of Inserra's kind and even-handed approach, this book is a great option for people who are willing to rethink their beliefs. This book won't shame them or make them feel defensive, but provides clear explanations of why self-help Christianity can never satisfy, offering a Christ-centered gospel as the freeing alternative to the stress, pressure, and unmet expectations of a self-centered faith that demands material prosperity, an adventurous life, big dreams, and self-fulfillment in Jesus's name. This is also a great resource for pastors and church members who want to better understand the draw and impact of popular teachings so that they can clearly communicate with and help people who have bought into an American Dream faith mentality. Overall, this is an incredibly gracious, thoughtful, insightful, and gospel-centered guide to a major issue facing the Western church today.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Evelyn Lilyana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dean Inserra has done great work for the Christian community in writing this book. We know that many things are terribly wrong with mainstream Christianity but not many are willing to say anything for fear of offending or going against what is popular. Dean Inserra is neither.

In "Getting Over Yourself" Inserra calls out the nominal Christians; laymen and ministers who live a personal prosperity, "happiness" quest gospel. These are the Christians who do not worship the God of the Bible but a god of their own making. We see them all over social media with their daily motivational captions on their Bible and coffee mug pictures or their Scriptures out of context daily affirmations they repeat like a mantra. Of these "Christians" Inserra addresses this book to.

Dean makes some very good points I have actually written several blog posts on in the past that I couldn't help but applaud as I read. He discusses how Christ-followers are to lose themselves to Christ not try to find themselves in worldly pursuits and self-centered ambitions. God is not your personal genie, your slave, or your servant but that's how nominal Christianity treats God. Getting your heart's desire is not your God-given purpose neither is it to achieve worldly success that is not about furthering God's Kingdom. You are not enough, you never will be because we need Christ and always will, you are not self-sufficient and this life is not your best (thank God).

Dean touches on every facet of nominalism I can think of, in this short but well-rounded uncovering of pseudo-Christianity. It's a must-read for all Christians. It makes for a great gift for family and friends who are caught up in prosperity churches with celebrity pastors. Definitely one of the best books I've read so far in 2021.

I received a copy of this book from Moody in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

[Zoe Volentine · Rating 4 out of 5]

well, I don’t agree with all of the authors conclusions, I think his thesis is somewhat necessary for a lot of our modern day churches to consider. As a young adult in ministry pastoring a church, I have been convicted through this book to consider if my communication is centered on the good news of Jesus or solely advice to live a life focused on personal or self improvement. My life verse is John 3:30 and this book has continued to help me seek out that verse in my everyday life. The reason I am unable to give the book 5 stars is because I think at times the author could have benefited from extending Grace and withholding specific names when calling out people. I don’t disagree with his conclusions, but maybe not the best approach when trying to encourage others to look more like Christ.

[Daniel Addo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truth in love

This is my first book from this author and I had never heard of him before but I am so glad I read this book. It echoes so much of what I’ve been trying to articulate for so long but didn’t have the words. Our natural instinct is to make ourselves the center of the universe. The one place where this should be challenged is the church - the one place where we are reminded about Christ and His glory. Unfortunately the church has become a place that feeds into and fuels me-centrality. Dean calls us to trade the terribly exhausting religion of self-centeredness for the glorious freedom found in living for Christ and the gospel. Such an amazing read. I recommend 100 percent

[Grace Kenganzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a convicting book, which had me reflecting on how I live out my faith.

We live in a world where ‘positive vibes’ are the way to go. Anything that tries to take them away is to be avoided. Unfortunately, that has also creeped into the church. This book illustrates how the pursuit of these positive vibes in our individual lives is detrimental to the flourishing of the church.

For the Christian who has been uncomfortable about messages that promote self -fulfillment, -discovery, -anything really, this book points out where that discomfort stems from. But it doesn’t leave you there. It shows how God would like you to wrestle with things the world throws at us.

As the author concludes, it’s not easy but it’s worth it, for the glory of God.

[Mitch Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so good! Couldn’t put it down… such a concise overview of the issues of self help Christianity, and the prosperity teaching that is prevalent in the American church.

Also, some of the most practical wisdom on how to live out a faith where the gospel is truly at the center of it all.

So many quotable lines. Here are a few of my favorites…
“It is impossible to die to yourself if you can’t get over yourself”

“the promises of Christ are equally true of the believer locked in a jail cell… and the Christian who lives in the suburbs.”

“Jesus is focused on our hearts. No amount of religious behavior could fool God or hide from him our real motives.”

[Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

First off, this is not the book I thought it would be. That’s not an issue though. I still enjoyed it.

While I agree with a lot of what the author said, I don’t agree with all of it. I think the biggest problem I have is that the author got a little hooked up on what we should do rather than who we should be. Loving others which is a rule outlined by Jesus is neglected a bit in this book in order to say “this is what we should do as Christians.”

I do appreciate the amount of Bible verses the author uses to back up his points. I don’t normally see many Christian authors do so, so it was really refreshing.

[Olivia · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The result is a belief that, in order to be truly happy, we need more than what God has already given us. In other words, the unspoken implication is that Jesus isn’t enough — He’s a means to an end. I’ve found that the new prosperity gospel emphasizes ‘not settling for less than God’s best,’ but that ‘best’ is rarely conformed into the likeness of Christ.” (p. 46-47)

[Treasure Bishop · Rating 5 out of 5]

So I haven’t been reading Christian Living books for a while but this is definitely one that I would suggest picking up. Especially in the current state of the church. It was a much needed read. Very convicting yet encouraging.

[John D. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Baseless?

It’s not hard to imagine this new prosperity gospel. But the author only gives us a straw man when he doesn’t give examples using specific names and/or examples. It remains hypothetical.

[Francois Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

An important book. The new prosperity gospel is a ravaging disease and Dean Inserra provides a timely diagnosis and antidote. As someone who was really caught up in myself and my own self-righteousness, this is a wonderful and precious read. Highly recommendable to fellow wayfarers.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding book! Thoroughly enjoyed. It is a must for pastors to read. The book is a great reminder of being Christ centered. It is all about the Lord! There is no one greater to serve then Jesus!

[Roy Ryder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Getting Over Yourself, takes a look at the problem(s) facing the church, from leadership, to attendees and the mess. The church is to be about the Father’s business — the Gospel. Not about the hype or numbers or self, but the truth of God’s word.

Great read!!

[Joseph Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dean Inserra exposes some of the key truths embedded in prosperity teachings for our benefit. Sticking close to Scripture, he offers a way forward for those who have been tricked for far too long. A welcome read for everyone!

[Alan Gerling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book and important corrective for the American church and Christians.

[Lee Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I have read recently!

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Much needed.

[Jaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short but strong treatise that unpacks the problem of big Eva and pop culture Christianity while presenting the biblical antidote