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The Bleeding Hearts #1
Torment: Part One
Torment Part One is a dark, taboo, age gap, MC, contemporary romance.
How did I get here?
Broken, bruised, and mentally shattered.
For most of my life, my older stepbrother, Shay, was my hero, my rock, and my best friend. The one I knew I could always rely on.
For many years, I accepted everyone and everything around me. But as I grew up, the veil was lifted, and I slowly came to understand how f*cked up it all really is. These men, who I considered uncles and close family friends, are members of the dominant MC, The Celtic Beasts. Shay is not only a proud member. He is the one they send in to do their dirty work. For some reason, this tough, muscled, terrifying guy, needs me to ground and comfort him.
But I have always had bigger plans. Bigger dreams. I don’t want to be trapped here, in this life that is dark, bloody and violent. I want to get out, escape… but Shay has other plans for me.
What do you do when your protector becomes the very root of your torment?
**Warning: This book is meant for mature readers, 18+.
Torment Part One is a dark romance and contains scenes and situations that may be upsetting for some readers. Includes several triggers and sensitive material such as: domestic abuse, profanity, gang violence, PTSD, depression, anxiety disorders, and sexual assault.
Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with any of the above. Thank you.
How did I get here?
Broken, bruised, and mentally shattered.
For most of my life, my older stepbrother, Shay, was my hero, my rock, and my best friend. The one I knew I could always rely on.
For many years, I accepted everyone and everything around me. But as I grew up, the veil was lifted, and I slowly came to understand how f*cked up it all really is. These men, who I considered uncles and close family friends, are members of the dominant MC, The Celtic Beasts. Shay is not only a proud member. He is the one they send in to do their dirty work. For some reason, this tough, muscled, terrifying guy, needs me to ground and comfort him.
But I have always had bigger plans. Bigger dreams. I don’t want to be trapped here, in this life that is dark, bloody and violent. I want to get out, escape… but Shay has other plans for me.
What do you do when your protector becomes the very root of your torment?
**Warning: This book is meant for mature readers, 18+.
Torment Part One is a dark romance and contains scenes and situations that may be upsetting for some readers. Includes several triggers and sensitive material such as: domestic abuse, profanity, gang violence, PTSD, depression, anxiety disorders, and sexual assault.
Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with any of the above. Thank you.
378 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 14, 2021
4601 people are currently reading
49167 people want to read
About the author
Dylan Page
11 books1,582 followersWhen Dylan was younger, she always had an aspiration to tell stories. But before she even knew how to write, she would draw them out. Her mother always encouraged her, and bought her piles of blank notebooks for her to draw out the stories she imagined in her head. Her dad encouraged her to use her words instead. Over the years, he pushed her into writing clubs and bought her notebooks so she could fill them with endless short stories.
When Dylan isn’t busy writing, or spending time with her two boys, she likes to play guitar, piano, and paint. Mind you she’s not good at it, but she likes it nonetheless!
When Dylan isn’t busy writing, or spending time with her two boys, she likes to play guitar, piano, and paint. Mind you she’s not good at it, but she likes it nonetheless!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,835 reviews
September 19, 2021
*debut awesomeness*
This book comes with a warning... and fairly so.
If a 23-year-old guy who spanks and then smoothly proceeds to bring his 16-year-old stepsister, who he has known and cared for since she was a 7 year-old kid, to orgasm doesn't sound a little disturbing, then I don't know what does. 👁️👁️
The corners of his mouth curled up in that rare, beautiful, familiar smile I liked so much, only this time, it felt a little ominous. “Last night... you understand why I did that to you?”
At the mention of the spanking, I blanched a little, shaking slightly as his hand shifted so that he was holding my chin in his fingers. “Yes,” I breathed, my voice lost.
“Because you were being smart with me.”
“Yes.”
“You want me around, don’t you?”
I nodded, though it was stilted by his hold.
“Then be a good girl, and I will. I’ll be right here, and I’ll keep you safe.”
If unexpectedly I felt the urge to retell the whole story, I am quite positive my brief retelling would sound much more harrowing than the book.... as surprising as it may come across, the author managed not to cross a thin line between a la carte disturbing and outright creepy, although it started blurring the further into the story I was submerged.
I am forced to admit that this book is p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ helluva intense for a debut novel. And way too burning hot for me to feel comfortable about it. After all, let's not forget that the story features a psychopath grooming his little stepsister for future, ahem, use... because he can, he will and who is gonna stop him? 🤡
There are certain things that brought me joy:
1) the hero, besides having "psycho" neon sign hanging above his head, was obsessed with the heroine to the point that would send any normal girl run screaming. That being said, his protective and tender side, reserved only for his Mina 🥺, was endearing, and created a bizarre combination of sweet and spine-chilling relationship dynamics;
2) complex ambiguous characters;
3) the love interest #2 who is getting points for being caring, triggering my paranoid thoughts and nursing my suspicions...
4) holy crap and wtf moments that left me uncomfortable (two guys fighting about a little girl doesn't sound weird... at all);
6) rivetting "past/flashback" scenes.
The latter is actually the most unexpected point in favour. I often regard "past chapters" that feature characters' younger years as fillers and skim the mercilessly. Not here.
“Relax, Mina,” his voice is quiet as his warm breath floats over my skin like a heavy fog, “Just stay by my side at the party and do as I say and I won’t lose it. Got it?”
“Y-yes,” I stammer, my eyes wide open as I stare up at the ceiling, feeling like a cross between a prisoner and a cherished possession.
“Good girl.”
..................................................................................
I love how the author is trying to manipulate readers into sympathising with her morally questionable characters. As usual, I'm so ready to be manipulated into liking creepy dudes🤡
..............................
Sweet baby Jesus.
Reading about how Mina's mom had actually been forced into living with Mina's future stepfather through clueless child's eyes is giving me goosebumps. 💀
This book comes with a warning... and fairly so.
If a 23-year-old guy who spanks and then smoothly proceeds to bring his 16-year-old stepsister, who he has known and cared for since she was a 7 year-old kid, to orgasm doesn't sound a little disturbing, then I don't know what does. 👁️👁️
The corners of his mouth curled up in that rare, beautiful, familiar smile I liked so much, only this time, it felt a little ominous. “Last night... you understand why I did that to you?”
At the mention of the spanking, I blanched a little, shaking slightly as his hand shifted so that he was holding my chin in his fingers. “Yes,” I breathed, my voice lost.
“Because you were being smart with me.”
“Yes.”
“You want me around, don’t you?”
I nodded, though it was stilted by his hold.
“Then be a good girl, and I will. I’ll be right here, and I’ll keep you safe.”
If unexpectedly I felt the urge to retell the whole story, I am quite positive my brief retelling would sound much more harrowing than the book.... as surprising as it may come across, the author managed not to cross a thin line between a la carte disturbing and outright creepy, although it started blurring the further into the story I was submerged.
I am forced to admit that this book is p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ helluva intense for a debut novel. And way too burning hot for me to feel comfortable about it. After all, let's not forget that the story features a psychopath grooming his little stepsister for future, ahem, use... because he can, he will and who is gonna stop him? 🤡
There are certain things that brought me joy:
1) the hero, besides having "psycho" neon sign hanging above his head, was obsessed with the heroine to the point that would send any normal girl run screaming. That being said, his protective and tender side, reserved only for his Mina 🥺, was endearing, and created a bizarre combination of sweet and spine-chilling relationship dynamics;
2) complex ambiguous characters;
3) the love interest #2 who is getting points for being caring, triggering my paranoid thoughts and nursing my suspicions...
4) holy crap and wtf moments that left me uncomfortable (two guys fighting about a little girl doesn't sound weird... at all);
6) rivetting "past/flashback" scenes.
The latter is actually the most unexpected point in favour. I often regard "past chapters" that feature characters' younger years as fillers and skim the mercilessly. Not here.
“Relax, Mina,” his voice is quiet as his warm breath floats over my skin like a heavy fog, “Just stay by my side at the party and do as I say and I won’t lose it. Got it?”
“Y-yes,” I stammer, my eyes wide open as I stare up at the ceiling, feeling like a cross between a prisoner and a cherished possession.
“Good girl.”
..................................................................................
I love how the author is trying to manipulate readers into sympathising with her morally questionable characters. As usual, I'm so ready to be manipulated into liking creepy dudes🤡
..............................
Sweet baby Jesus.
Reading about how Mina's mom had actually been forced into living with Mina's future stepfather through clueless child's eyes is giving me goosebumps. 💀
April 6, 2021
me about shay:
this book made me feel so weird, i loved it. i can't think of how to wrangle this into a real review so I'll just leave my thoughts as play-by-plays (warning: spoilers below)
.
.
.
→ has Mina's mom never read an MC romance before? how has she been caught so unawares? this behavior is embarrassing
→ this book does a great job of walking the line between vaguely inappropriate and downright predatory. there's a real subtly to it. in all the flashback scenes, intellectually I know what's happening is weird, but my chimp brain is like 'aw so cute thooo <333 🤪' so in conclusion:
→ this girl is 9 years old, how does she have two 15 year olds fighting over her rn 🤦🏽♀️ the fact that Keenan in one breath gave her flowers to 'woo' her and then the next 'carried her on his hip with one hand under her bottom' bc she's a kid has me like bruh.....
→ okay I like how this story eases you in. like you don't really know who the bad guys are and who to trust, and while the heroine is being manipulated... so are we. and here I am, ready and willing 🤠
→ don't love the term of endearments 'sweetness' or 'cutie'
→ wow i feel bad about talking shit about Mina's mom earlier. if you isolate only her story and look at it separately from the rest of the book... it's pretty tragic
→ im gonna need mina to change keenan's contact name from 'Captain Stud Muffin'..... it's killing the vibe for me
→ shay is one sick motherfucker, a psychiatrists wet dream for sure, but fucc he hot doe 👅
→ shay when he's not around mina:
→ shay when he is around mina:
→ i actually liked the flashback scenes more because when Mina was young, she had an excuse to act immature and blind, but in the older scenes, girl u good? why u like this still? the main difference in 'tone' between the flashbacks and present day chapters is curse words and horniness
→ i feel like it's clear just by the way mina thinks about shay vs how she thinks about keenan that she's going to end up w keenan... and I simply:
→ i don't know why I find keenan's behavior creepier than shay's, because it's so comically not. i think it's because I expect immoral, creepy behavior from Shay and therefor on some level accept it more, but with keenan, i'm like....
*whispers* u sus sir... u should know better sir....
keenan's supposed to be the upstanding, 'white knight' one so I judge him more harshly/hold him to a higher standard. i guess i just don't trust his 'im the good guy' shtick
→ "You're the only good thing in my life, you know that?"
i'm kind of angry at Dylan Page for making me love such a toxic, abusive, divisive character like Shay but...
→ 1 chapters later:
“No one else gives a fuck about you…”
“I’m all you’ve got.”
“Dad has his own life. Once you’re eighteen, he won’t be bothered with you…”
“Every person you’ve loved is gone, except for me. You will always have me. Only me.”
"Your own mother wasn't even there, remember? She chose the bottle over you every time. Only I was there. I was the only one who wanted to be with you."
→ okay.... so team shay struggling a bit after that blatant emotional manipulation ill admit..... but we still chugging away out here.... he can bring this back around right....
→ ooooohhh, so this is why his club name is 'Manic'
fuck, this is unhealthy I-
→ keenan's looking pretty good right about now
→ god I feel bad for mina.... this brainwashing mixed with her people pleasing personality is gonna end with her dead or chained to a bed in shay's basement. she's in so deep in this abusive relationship sometimes I forget the full extent....
→ okay.................. I DRAW THE LINE HERE. damn im mad and impressed with dylan page for lulling me into shay's web and then forcing me to choose when I had to detach bc I couldn't morally justify it anymore, which ill admit, probably should've been 10 chapters ago. this book is so well done bc it lays out exactly how we got to this point of no return as well as all the stages of grooming
→ the more time we get with keenan the more I like him, root for him, etc
→ im pretty bummed mina can't be a ballerina anymore. i really liked that aspect of the story and i thought that dream fit her as a person
→ even tho ive denounced shay..... he's just so crazy and I have to say one more time:
no matter his faults, he's carrying this entire book on his shoulders
*finishes book*
.
.
so........ all in all.... *cringes a little* redemption arc for shay!
get this man a therapist and we're a-okay! team shay will come out strong and alive you heard it here first folks
no but jokes aside, I don't see any other ending for the next book other than shay dying bc if he's alive, and mina's alive, that girl has no fucking chance at any type of halfway decent life. I also think shay would rather be dead than without mina, so it would prob be better for everyone lol. it's clear she's gonna end up with keenan and she deserves that pure love after all the bullshit she's had to deal with, buttttttttt fuck I still hope shay shocks us all, turns this train around, and wins back his girl. or does the noble thing and lets her go bc he loves her, and then proceeds to get help. im soooo excited for the next book and kind of wish I'd waited to read this until it was out bc I feel a little desperate for it
this book made me feel so weird, i loved it. i can't think of how to wrangle this into a real review so I'll just leave my thoughts as play-by-plays (warning: spoilers below)
.
.
.
→ has Mina's mom never read an MC romance before? how has she been caught so unawares? this behavior is embarrassing
→ this book does a great job of walking the line between vaguely inappropriate and downright predatory. there's a real subtly to it. in all the flashback scenes, intellectually I know what's happening is weird, but my chimp brain is like 'aw so cute thooo <333 🤪' so in conclusion:
→ this girl is 9 years old, how does she have two 15 year olds fighting over her rn 🤦🏽♀️ the fact that Keenan in one breath gave her flowers to 'woo' her and then the next 'carried her on his hip with one hand under her bottom' bc she's a kid has me like bruh.....
→ okay I like how this story eases you in. like you don't really know who the bad guys are and who to trust, and while the heroine is being manipulated... so are we. and here I am, ready and willing 🤠
→ don't love the term of endearments 'sweetness' or 'cutie'
→ wow i feel bad about talking shit about Mina's mom earlier. if you isolate only her story and look at it separately from the rest of the book... it's pretty tragic
→ im gonna need mina to change keenan's contact name from 'Captain Stud Muffin'..... it's killing the vibe for me
→ shay is one sick motherfucker, a psychiatrists wet dream for sure, but fucc he hot doe 👅
→ shay when he's not around mina:
→ shay when he is around mina:
→ i actually liked the flashback scenes more because when Mina was young, she had an excuse to act immature and blind, but in the older scenes, girl u good? why u like this still? the main difference in 'tone' between the flashbacks and present day chapters is curse words and horniness
→ i feel like it's clear just by the way mina thinks about shay vs how she thinks about keenan that she's going to end up w keenan... and I simply:
→ i don't know why I find keenan's behavior creepier than shay's, because it's so comically not. i think it's because I expect immoral, creepy behavior from Shay and therefor on some level accept it more, but with keenan, i'm like....
*whispers* u sus sir... u should know better sir....
keenan's supposed to be the upstanding, 'white knight' one so I judge him more harshly/hold him to a higher standard. i guess i just don't trust his 'im the good guy' shtick
→ "You're the only good thing in my life, you know that?"
i'm kind of angry at Dylan Page for making me love such a toxic, abusive, divisive character like Shay but...
→ 1 chapters later:
“No one else gives a fuck about you…”
“I’m all you’ve got.”
“Dad has his own life. Once you’re eighteen, he won’t be bothered with you…”
“Every person you’ve loved is gone, except for me. You will always have me. Only me.”
"Your own mother wasn't even there, remember? She chose the bottle over you every time. Only I was there. I was the only one who wanted to be with you."
→ okay.... so team shay struggling a bit after that blatant emotional manipulation ill admit..... but we still chugging away out here.... he can bring this back around right....
→ ooooohhh, so this is why his club name is 'Manic'
fuck, this is unhealthy I-
→ keenan's looking pretty good right about now
→ god I feel bad for mina.... this brainwashing mixed with her people pleasing personality is gonna end with her dead or chained to a bed in shay's basement. she's in so deep in this abusive relationship sometimes I forget the full extent....
→ okay.................. I DRAW THE LINE HERE. damn im mad and impressed with dylan page for lulling me into shay's web and then forcing me to choose when I had to detach bc I couldn't morally justify it anymore, which ill admit, probably should've been 10 chapters ago. this book is so well done bc it lays out exactly how we got to this point of no return as well as all the stages of grooming
→ the more time we get with keenan the more I like him, root for him, etc
→ im pretty bummed mina can't be a ballerina anymore. i really liked that aspect of the story and i thought that dream fit her as a person
→ even tho ive denounced shay..... he's just so crazy and I have to say one more time:
no matter his faults, he's carrying this entire book on his shoulders
*finishes book*
.
.
so........ all in all.... *cringes a little* redemption arc for shay!
get this man a therapist and we're a-okay! team shay will come out strong and alive you heard it here first folks
no but jokes aside, I don't see any other ending for the next book other than shay dying bc if he's alive, and mina's alive, that girl has no fucking chance at any type of halfway decent life. I also think shay would rather be dead than without mina, so it would prob be better for everyone lol. it's clear she's gonna end up with keenan and she deserves that pure love after all the bullshit she's had to deal with, buttttttttt fuck I still hope shay shocks us all, turns this train around, and wins back his girl. or does the noble thing and lets her go bc he loves her, and then proceeds to get help. im soooo excited for the next book and kind of wish I'd waited to read this until it was out bc I feel a little desperate for it
August 18, 2022
5 stars
🛑SPOILERS🛑
Man oh man, I don't know how I manage to stray further from god every day.
This book was wrong on so many levels I can't even...
First of all, this is not a romance. It took me way too damn long to realise and now that I have, I am bathing in the afterglow of reading about all of these disgusting ass relationships.
Yes, Yes I know. This book is:
➥ completely taboo
➥ manipulative as all hell
➥ includes grooming of a young girl
➥ the "hero" (Shay) is obsessive to the point WHERE EVEN I was a little fucking scared of this dude.
But you know what else I know?
That I'm a clown and Shay was the best character in this book.
Now I know how most of ya'll romance driven brains work and what you're thinking right now: Pft, obsessive? I love obsessive heroes, why is she even complaining? Stop being a pussy Anna, obsessive heroes are the best
Well...
Mina (7) met Shay, the son of the man her mother was going to marry, when he was 13 years old. He was stuck in the middle of a violent fight, one he was winning, and at that Mina was mesmerised. When he approached her, she quickly realised that with her, he isn't just the savage teenager she witnessed earlier, but a boy with sad eyes and a beautiful smile. He was kind to her and seemed to care about her safety. They had formed an unbreakable bond - that day Shay had become her protector and the boy she will always look up to.
Sounds romantic right? Yea I thought so too.
Throughout the years, Mina saw glimpses of the darkness he was harbouring inside himself, and not just him, but also her step father, as well as the MC gang they both belonged to. However, she always turned a blind eye because at home, they were just her family.
Except behind the scenes, her mother saw them for what they were, and feared the danger she unwillingly signed up herself and Mina for. Ultimately, the strain of the life her daughter was ignorant to spiralled her into alcoholism & self-destruction.
This seemingly sweet quote was the first time Shay gave me the creeps. They were the good kind of creeps.
The 'I'll murder anyone who gets in between us' creeps.
The 'if I can't have you then no one else can' creeps.
Except instead of killing her, he'll just kill everyone else who claims can have her.
Yes, those are the good kind of creeps in my eyes.
Now, because we read from POV of a child most of the time, we see things through a lens of an innocent mind. We find things out with Mina, and therefore we are manipulated with her as well. Through her eyes, Shay & James are the good guys, the men who loved her with everything they had. But as adults, we readers see that something is just not right... and that angst, it was torturing me in the best way possible.
If I had a step-brother since 8 years old, whom I idolised, considered family and loved as any girl would love their brother... I don't know how I would feel if he suddenly bent me over his knee, and started touching me in places no good step-brother ever should.
Actually I do know, I'd be horrified, traumatised, betrayed, scared shitless....
But as this 23 year old man spanks his 16 year old step sister I am suddenly the picture of ignorance.
That was still when I considered this book a romance btw.
But there was shift. At some point Shay started emotionally manipulating her, controlling every aspect of her life, blaming her for his psychotic behaviour, threatening murder if she so much as held another man's hand, exploding in violent outbursts. Eventually, he even physically assaulted her mother for trying to keep Mina away from him.
Shay wanted Mina to need him, to please him, to live solely for him. He wouldn't let Mina pursue her dreams or experience life without him. He wanted to lock her up in a little box for his own keeping.
Shay is the man who will undoubtedly snuff out any light or innocence still left in Mina.
God and when I tell you it was so freaking mesmerising to read about this psychotic ass man with this poor innocent girl in his clutches. Most of the time it was written in such an emotional way, that you almost, ALMOST found it romantic.
With the death of her mom, I became so damn nervous. Mina was left to the wolves without her mother there. I'm pretty sure the mom was the only one who saw everything exactly for what it was. Life has really done that woman dirty and I couldn't help but tear up a time or two for her, especially at the end.
But don't worry, we have another love interest, Keenan. He is the man Mina has feelings for and -as cliche as that is- the knight in shining armour. Because of the progression of Shay's character I don't trust Keenan one bit. He was way too great to not be suspicious. The selfless biker who wants everything for her, like get out of this shithole & achieve her dreams of becoming a ballerina. Ummm???
I don't trust you sir.
ALL IN ALL, what I'll say for sure is that I have absolutely no clue where this series is going. No idea who she'll end up with or what the second book will be about. I'm speculating that she'll most likely end up with Keenan, because I honestly don't know how the author will ever redeem Shay. Plus Mina felt no romantic feelings towards him.
I do have one theory though which I'll hide in a spoiler.
🛑SPOILERS🛑
Man oh man, I don't know how I manage to stray further from god every day.
This book was wrong on so many levels I can't even...
First of all, this is not a romance. It took me way too damn long to realise and now that I have, I am bathing in the afterglow of reading about all of these disgusting ass relationships.
Yes, Yes I know. This book is:
➥ completely taboo
➥ manipulative as all hell
➥ includes grooming of a young girl
➥ the "hero" (Shay) is obsessive to the point WHERE EVEN I was a little fucking scared of this dude.
But you know what else I know?
That I'm a clown and Shay was the best character in this book.
Now I know how most of ya'll romance driven brains work and what you're thinking right now: Pft, obsessive? I love obsessive heroes, why is she even complaining? Stop being a pussy Anna, obsessive heroes are the best
Well...
Mina (7) met Shay, the son of the man her mother was going to marry, when he was 13 years old. He was stuck in the middle of a violent fight, one he was winning, and at that Mina was mesmerised. When he approached her, she quickly realised that with her, he isn't just the savage teenager she witnessed earlier, but a boy with sad eyes and a beautiful smile. He was kind to her and seemed to care about her safety. They had formed an unbreakable bond - that day Shay had become her protector and the boy she will always look up to.
Sounds romantic right? Yea I thought so too.
Throughout the years, Mina saw glimpses of the darkness he was harbouring inside himself, and not just him, but also her step father, as well as the MC gang they both belonged to. However, she always turned a blind eye because at home, they were just her family.
Except behind the scenes, her mother saw them for what they were, and feared the danger she unwillingly signed up herself and Mina for. Ultimately, the strain of the life her daughter was ignorant to spiralled her into alcoholism & self-destruction.
“No one loves you more than I do.” He turned his head so that he could look into my eyes, his nose barely touching mine. “You know that, right?”
This seemingly sweet quote was the first time Shay gave me the creeps. They were the good kind of creeps.
The 'I'll murder anyone who gets in between us' creeps.
The 'if I can't have you then no one else can' creeps.
Except instead of killing her, he'll just kill everyone else who claims can have her.
Yes, those are the good kind of creeps in my eyes.
Now, because we read from POV of a child most of the time, we see things through a lens of an innocent mind. We find things out with Mina, and therefore we are manipulated with her as well. Through her eyes, Shay & James are the good guys, the men who loved her with everything they had. But as adults, we readers see that something is just not right... and that angst, it was torturing me in the best way possible.
If I had a step-brother since 8 years old, whom I idolised, considered family and loved as any girl would love their brother... I don't know how I would feel if he suddenly bent me over his knee, and started touching me in places no good step-brother ever should.
Actually I do know, I'd be horrified, traumatised, betrayed, scared shitless....
But as this 23 year old man spanks his 16 year old step sister I am suddenly the picture of ignorance.
That was still when I considered this book a romance btw.
But there was shift. At some point Shay started emotionally manipulating her, controlling every aspect of her life, blaming her for his psychotic behaviour, threatening murder if she so much as held another man's hand, exploding in violent outbursts. Eventually, he even physically assaulted her mother for trying to keep Mina away from him.
“Don’t,” he went on. “I need you. You’re the only good thing in my life. Please, don’t shut me out. Don’t deny me…” He clutched me harder, to the point where I almost couldn’t breathe. “Don’t leave me.”
Shay wanted Mina to need him, to please him, to live solely for him. He wouldn't let Mina pursue her dreams or experience life without him. He wanted to lock her up in a little box for his own keeping.
Shay is the man who will undoubtedly snuff out any light or innocence still left in Mina.
“I’m not meant for this life, Shay!” I sob.
“You are meant to be mine! I am not letting this go, Mina… you need to wake up and realize that I’m the only one for you. I’m all you will ever need.”
God and when I tell you it was so freaking mesmerising to read about this psychotic ass man with this poor innocent girl in his clutches. Most of the time it was written in such an emotional way, that you almost, ALMOST found it romantic.
With the death of her mom, I became so damn nervous. Mina was left to the wolves without her mother there. I'm pretty sure the mom was the only one who saw everything exactly for what it was. Life has really done that woman dirty and I couldn't help but tear up a time or two for her, especially at the end.
But don't worry, we have another love interest, Keenan. He is the man Mina has feelings for and -as cliche as that is- the knight in shining armour. Because of the progression of Shay's character I don't trust Keenan one bit. He was way too great to not be suspicious. The selfless biker who wants everything for her, like get out of this shithole & achieve her dreams of becoming a ballerina. Ummm???
I don't trust you sir.
ALL IN ALL, what I'll say for sure is that I have absolutely no clue where this series is going. No idea who she'll end up with or what the second book will be about. I'm speculating that she'll most likely end up with Keenan, because I honestly don't know how the author will ever redeem Shay. Plus Mina felt no romantic feelings towards him.
I do have one theory though which I'll hide in a spoiler.
February 8, 2025
Btches be like: Shay's so hot.. I'm that btch
Note:Plz don't come even 6ft near this book if you can't handle manipulativeness Thank you very much🙂↕️
🎧𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚢 𝚂𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚌𝚔
First of all I Love Shay☝ (if you don't, congratulations you're completely sane👏)..
I think I was supposed to hate him (esp at some moments but i didn't even in those moments SHAY MANIPULATED ME🤐) like he literally punched her mother (his step-mother) twice just bcz he didn't want mina to go somewhere 😶🌫🤚 now just so that we are here let's take a sec to think what he does to guys?? Talk abt overprotectiveness 😗👊
But here I'm🧍♀️still loving him and not giving an f about Keenan (who was basically the sweet guy) shame on me tbh 😔🤚
Let me get into this straight again Shay is so manipulative that at some point i literally thought he has some disorder 😬 he's a literal psycho unhinged mf and yeahh i was still waving his flag (i don't know which color) cuz I became color blind when it came to him idk why man wtf 🏴
What could i do my boygina literally throbbed every time he came into view and i felt nothing for Keenan 😇 *pulling out my hair*
Now the writing was top-notch👌but ofc it was single pov and with dual timelines 🤧
I expected to cry more but i didn't i only shed a few tears prior to 40% 🙂
And lastly for feels listen to 🎧 TristanMorana's playlist
Bingo reading challenge ticked ✔25. Title with 1 word
_____________
Edit: Sorry youssra but the insect in me wasn't letting me sit peacefully n i searched on google if it is non-hea bcz i didn't want to read reviews for potential spoilers.. guess what the first line was IT IS NON-HEA.. RIP ME BRUHH😫🙏 the reason I'm getting teary I LOVEEE SHAY even tho ik he's doing smth suspicious behind but we'll see abt that later🤧🤚
______________
Youssra's mission: kick Fiza in a mental hospital LMFAOOO
Let the torment begin what can i say 😭😭😭
Also my CRs are giving me bombastic side-eye BYEEE
Note:Plz don't come even 6ft near this book if you can't handle manipulativeness Thank you very much🙂↕️
🎧𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚢 𝚂𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚌𝚔
But here I'm🧍♀️still loving him and not giving an f about Keenan (who was basically the sweet guy) shame on me tbh 😔🤚
Let me get into this straight again Shay is so manipulative that at some point i literally thought he has some disorder 😬 he's a literal psycho unhinged mf and yeahh i was still waving his flag (i don't know which color) cuz I became color blind when it came to him idk why man wtf 🏴
What could i do my boygina literally throbbed every time he came into view and i felt nothing for Keenan 😇 *pulling out my hair*
Now the writing was top-notch👌but ofc it was single pov and with dual timelines 🤧
I expected to cry more but i didn't i only shed a few tears prior to 40% 🙂
And lastly for feels listen to 🎧 TristanMorana's playlist
Bingo reading challenge ticked ✔25. Title with 1 word
_____________
Edit: Sorry youssra but the insect in me wasn't letting me sit peacefully n i searched on google if it is non-hea bcz i didn't want to read reviews for potential spoilers.. guess what the first line was IT IS NON-HEA.. RIP ME BRUHH😫🙏 the reason I'm getting teary I LOVEEE SHAY even tho ik he's doing smth suspicious behind but we'll see abt that later🤧🤚
______________
Let the torment begin what can i say 😭😭😭
Also my CRs are giving me bombastic side-eye BYEEE
December 28, 2021
Holy shit!
This is a debut?
Dylan Page came out the gate swinging, y'all!!
I can't remember the last time a debut had me this fucked up! My head and my heart are all over the place. Sure, I want to beat the shit out of most everyone in this book, but I'm absolutely obsessed with this story!
I want to hug the heroine, Mina, and never let her go. This poor girl got the shit end of the stick! She's constantly manipulated from a young age and forced into an unhealthy, toxic relationship where she acts as a security blanket for her psychotic stepbrother, Shay. She isn't allowed to have any kind of life of her own. Shay and his father are more concerned about Mina doing what serves their best interests than they are about what's best for her. To top it all off, her mother can't save her from any of it, because she's being forced to live a life she doesn't want as well.
Speaking of Mina's mom, I know some people judge her pretty harshly, but for me, doing that felt like judging a victim of domestic violence and placing the blame on them for being abused. Don't get me wrong, I wish she would have kept trying to escape and stayed away from the alcohol, but realistically, those men probably weren't going to let her get away from them alive.
Back to Mina! Some of her reactions to different things Shay and her stepfather did throughout the book frustrated me, but considering they messed with her head from the moment they stepped foot in her life, I gave her a little more grace than I normally would have otherwise. I love that the author allowed us to view everything that happened throughout Mina's life through her eyes at whatever age she was at those points in time. It was a clever way to help readers understand Mina in a more profound way, and in my opinion, she couldn't have made a better choice in that regard.
When I first started reading this book, I was rooting for Shay. I have to admit it. He really had me for a while there. I know a lot of people love him regardless of him being a piece of shit the majority of the time. I'm just not one of them, but despite that, his relationship with Mina and his crazy ass behavior kept me glued the pages. The book wouldn't have been the same without him.
I recognize that a lot of Shay's behavior was brought on by his upbringing. In some ways, he is a victim himself. He was molded into the violent, unhinged man he became from the time he was just a child. Aside from that, he had serious psychological issues and needed help that his father never provided him. Instead, he used Mina like a bandaid. I'm not ignoring any of that. I did feel for him in some ways for sure. That being said, there is a limit to how much empathy I can feel for someone that does the kind of heartless, horrific shit Shay does.
I can't conclude this review without mentioning my boy, Keenan. I fucking adore him! He is the only person in Mina's life that consistently shows up for her in the ways that count. He's always watching out for her, and he takes time out of his life every single week to help her try to achieve her dreams. Keenan does everything he does for Mina to make sure she's safe, feels like she has someone in her corner, and so she can get out of the hell she lives in and create a better life for herself one day. His motivations are pure and selfless, and it endeared him to me in a big way.
In conclusion, Torment: Part 1 is a 5 star read for me! I inhaled this shit from beginning to end. I couldn't get enough of the characters, and the storytelling is brilliant. If you enjoy stories that play with your emotions and tear apart your insides, I highly recommend you give this duet a try!
Angst whores and toxic romance fans, this one's for you!
This is a debut?
Dylan Page came out the gate swinging, y'all!!
I can't remember the last time a debut had me this fucked up! My head and my heart are all over the place. Sure, I want to beat the shit out of most everyone in this book, but I'm absolutely obsessed with this story!
I want to hug the heroine, Mina, and never let her go. This poor girl got the shit end of the stick! She's constantly manipulated from a young age and forced into an unhealthy, toxic relationship where she acts as a security blanket for her psychotic stepbrother, Shay. She isn't allowed to have any kind of life of her own. Shay and his father are more concerned about Mina doing what serves their best interests than they are about what's best for her. To top it all off, her mother can't save her from any of it, because she's being forced to live a life she doesn't want as well.
Speaking of Mina's mom, I know some people judge her pretty harshly, but for me, doing that felt like judging a victim of domestic violence and placing the blame on them for being abused. Don't get me wrong, I wish she would have kept trying to escape and stayed away from the alcohol, but realistically, those men probably weren't going to let her get away from them alive.
Back to Mina! Some of her reactions to different things Shay and her stepfather did throughout the book frustrated me, but considering they messed with her head from the moment they stepped foot in her life, I gave her a little more grace than I normally would have otherwise. I love that the author allowed us to view everything that happened throughout Mina's life through her eyes at whatever age she was at those points in time. It was a clever way to help readers understand Mina in a more profound way, and in my opinion, she couldn't have made a better choice in that regard.
When I first started reading this book, I was rooting for Shay. I have to admit it. He really had me for a while there. I know a lot of people love him regardless of him being a piece of shit the majority of the time. I'm just not one of them, but despite that, his relationship with Mina and his crazy ass behavior kept me glued the pages. The book wouldn't have been the same without him.
I recognize that a lot of Shay's behavior was brought on by his upbringing. In some ways, he is a victim himself. He was molded into the violent, unhinged man he became from the time he was just a child. Aside from that, he had serious psychological issues and needed help that his father never provided him. Instead, he used Mina like a bandaid. I'm not ignoring any of that. I did feel for him in some ways for sure. That being said, there is a limit to how much empathy I can feel for someone that does the kind of heartless, horrific shit Shay does.
I can't conclude this review without mentioning my boy, Keenan. I fucking adore him! He is the only person in Mina's life that consistently shows up for her in the ways that count. He's always watching out for her, and he takes time out of his life every single week to help her try to achieve her dreams. Keenan does everything he does for Mina to make sure she's safe, feels like she has someone in her corner, and so she can get out of the hell she lives in and create a better life for herself one day. His motivations are pure and selfless, and it endeared him to me in a big way.
In conclusion, Torment: Part 1 is a 5 star read for me! I inhaled this shit from beginning to end. I couldn't get enough of the characters, and the storytelling is brilliant. If you enjoy stories that play with your emotions and tear apart your insides, I highly recommend you give this duet a try!
Angst whores and toxic romance fans, this one's for you!
September 13, 2025
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 2/5
Reading this book was like driving on the freeway and overtly watching the after effects of the scene of a car crash. It's not something that you get entertainment from, but you're just so nosy that you just have to see what happened, you know??
Honestly, if I had to describe this in one word: mindfuck. I don't know if this means I should be giving this a 1-star or 5-stars, but I'll settle at 2. Check your triggers if you plan on reading this!!
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pre-read: my toxic trait is reading books that I know I might not enjoy and then bitching about it (we all have our vices)...this book is apparently supposed to break you, so I'm curious - maybe I won't have to write a 1-star review, let me be delusional please. 🙏😔
Reading this book was like driving on the freeway and overtly watching the after effects of the scene of a car crash. It's not something that you get entertainment from, but you're just so nosy that you just have to see what happened, you know??
Honestly, if I had to describe this in one word: mindfuck. I don't know if this means I should be giving this a 1-star or 5-stars, but I'll settle at 2. Check your triggers if you plan on reading this!!
--------
pre-read: my toxic trait is reading books that I know I might not enjoy and then bitching about it (we all have our vices)...this book is apparently supposed to break you, so I'm curious - maybe I won't have to write a 1-star review, let me be delusional please. 🙏😔
January 21, 2022
3 1/2✨
shay : a manipulative son of a bitch
me : u need help dude
shay : a controlling psychopath
me : leave the poor chick alone
mina : yelling at shay for beating the shit outta some poor kid just cuz he held her hand
me : hell yeah girl don’t take his bullshit
shay : puppy eyes
me : i’d like to hug him now. MINA FIX THIS
anyway, this started out sweet. but i came in w/ as dark of an expectation as possible. so i didn’t trust it at all, no way in hell is this book gonna be sweet. and it wasn’t (well i thought shays kinda sweet for me personally, if not a little scary. but Mina didn’t seem to think so, so wtv). few of my thoughts :
yeah that one scene where Shay punched Dana? that’s the only way a H should handle any mean bullying cunts who hurt their girl. i laughed my fucking ass off
⍟ sᴏ ɪ'ᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ǫᴜᴏᴛᴇ ʜᴏᴡ sʜᴀʏ ᴍᴀɴɪᴘᴜʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴍɪɴᴀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ⍟
⍟ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴏᴡ sʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇᴅ ᴀʟᴏɴɢ ⍟
i have limits on how dark my romance to be. but honestly, shay isn’t one of them (he got worse in book 2 so im talkin bout him in here)
couldn’t care less bout Mina or his knight in shining armor :
keenan’s fine
essentially, this was a page-turner. i’ve got nothing i didn’t like but just didn’t love it. still, this was a fun way to pass time
btw my fav scene from the whole book is still the spanking scene
”You don’t need me, you need a therapist!”
shay : a manipulative son of a bitch
me : u need help dude
shay : a controlling psychopath
me : leave the poor chick alone
mina : yelling at shay for beating the shit outta some poor kid just cuz he held her hand
me : hell yeah girl don’t take his bullshit
shay : puppy eyes
me : i’d like to hug him now. MINA FIX THIS
the quote above is this book in a nutshell
anyway, this started out sweet. but i came in w/ as dark of an expectation as possible. so i didn’t trust it at all, no way in hell is this book gonna be sweet. and it wasn’t (well i thought shays kinda sweet for me personally, if not a little scary. but Mina didn’t seem to think so, so wtv). few of my thoughts :
’When I glanced around, I noticed how the other kids were watching us warily, eyeing Shay with apprehension, like they were afraid of him. Huh, weird… he was being really nice to me.’
yeah that one scene where Shay punched Dana? that’s the only way a H should handle any mean bullying cunts who hurt their girl. i laughed my fucking ass off
⍟ sᴏ ɪ'ᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ǫᴜᴏᴛᴇ ʜᴏᴡ sʜᴀʏ ᴍᴀɴɪᴘᴜʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴍɪɴᴀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ⍟
”No one else gives a fuck about you…”
“I’m all you’ve got.”
“Dad has his own life. Once you’re eighteen, he won’t be bothered with you…”
“Every person you’ve loved is gone, except for me. You will always have me. Only me.”
“I’m the only one who has been there for you…”
“Your own mother wasn’t even there, remember? She chose the bottle over you every time. Only I was there. I was the only one who wanted to be with you.”
“Mina,” he gasped, “don’t ever shut me out again…”
Yeah, like I was going to let that happen anytime soon. Not after seeing this.
“Don’t,” he went on. “I need you. You’re the only good thing in my life. Please, don’t shut me out. Don’t deny me…” He clutched me harder, to the point where I almost couldn’t breathe. “Don’t leave me.”
“You don’t want to upset me, right, Mina?” I stare back at him, my heart beating hard against my chest as his words sink in. “You don’t want to cause problems, right? You don’t want to be the reason I lose control or be the one to cause the monster in my mind to destroy all that’s left of my sanity?”
“You don’t want to cause problems for dad and I, or the club?”
I shake my head this time.
“You don’t want to be the reason I have another breakdown again?”
I shake my head a little harder this time. Abso-fucking-lutely NOT!
A cruel smirk paints itself onto his otherwise handsome face, and he gives my chin a little shake. “So, here’s the answer to all of that, Sweetness.”
“What answer?” I slur.
“Kiss me back,” he demanded
⍟ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴏᴡ sʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇᴅ ᴀʟᴏɴɢ ⍟
1. ’Okay, keep him calm. Keep him happy. You don’t want him upset with you, you fool. If you don’t have Shay, who else do you have?’
2. I was almost always on edge around Shay, trying to think of ways to keep him calm and mellow. I learned that one of those things was cuddling up and having me stroke his untidy, dark locks. So I obliged as often as I could. Or at least, as often as he was around.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
I hated how perceptive he could be. He was always so aware of me, if I was off in any way. When I was younger, it was great because I could lean on him. But now, I was just afraid of him diving into darkness if I mentioned anything that could possibly set him off. I knew he loved me in his way; that our bond was close. Despite him telling me that we were not siblings, I loved him like an older brother. But as the years were passing, I could feel a shift, one that I was not comfortable with, but I didn’t know how to gain control. Not when I was so afraid of upsetting him.
3. “This is what I need now, Mina. This is what you need to do if you want those three things I once asked you. If you want to be happy, if you don’t want to cause any problems, if you don’t want to push me to the edge,” His words send a chill through my veins and I actually start shivering. “Then you’ll do this. You’ll be with me like this… do you understand?” When I don’t speak, he gives me another hard shake. “Mina!” he snarls. “Do you want me to lose it? Do you want to be the reason I fucking tear this house apart?”
i have limits on how dark my romance to be. but honestly, shay isn’t one of them (he got worse in book 2 so im talkin bout him in here)
couldn’t care less bout Mina or his knight in shining armor :
”Gotta say, Sunshine, I’m a little jealous of your brother, right now…”
“Of Shay?” I furrowed my brow in confusion as he pressed me into him. I turned my head so that my nose and my mouth were free from his coat and were touching the smooth skin on his neck instead.
“I am,” he laughed lightly, but it sounded like it was forced. “For the first time ever, I think.”
“Why?” I couldn’t mistake the ache in his voice.
“I’m jealous, because he is so damned lucky to have someone like you in his life. You’re a little ray of light, Mina. A ray of light in all of our dark, shitty lives...”
keenan’s fine
essentially, this was a page-turner. i’ve got nothing i didn’t like but just didn’t love it. still, this was a fun way to pass time
btw my fav scene from the whole book is still the spanking scene
July 25, 2024
My mind is absolutely fucked. This book made me feel so weird and uncomfortable and disturbed. I loved it. But mentally I am in pain.
FIRST THINGS FIRST: this is NOT a romance, I repeat, this is not a romance!!! This is without a doubt the darkest book I have ever read, and please do not take that statement lightly.
This book is entirely taboo and documents the tragic story of a young girl (Mina) being manipulated and groomed by her stepbrother (Shay). This is not the type of obsessive and possessive man that dark romance girlies swoon over. This is the type of man that you are petrified of.
To put this into perspective:
“No one else gives a fuck about you…”
“I’m all you’ve got.”
“Dad has his own life. Once you’re eighteen, he won’t be bothered with you…”
“Every person you’ve loved is gone, except for me. You will always have me. Only me.”
“I’m the only one who has been there for you…” “Your own mother wasn’t even there, remember? She chose the bottle over you every time. Only I was there. I was the only one who wanted to be with you.”
Yeah.
However the author does an incredible job of manipulating the reader right along with Mina because you can’t help but feel for Shay while simultaneously hating his guts, especially in the beginning. I don’t understand my feelings towards Shay and it is very confusing and hard to process as a reader. Knowing that this man is a monster but also being given bits and pieces of his dark past and traumatizing upbringing that make you want to understand why he is the way he is. BUT NOT IN AN ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS OR MAKE THE READER SEE THROUGH ROSE COLORED GLASSES! which makes it even more confusing GAHHHHH
I literally felt like I was gaslit this entire book. The whole time I just kept thinking WHAT THE FUCK????
This book does really well walking the line between somewhat inappropriate and disturbingly toxic. But then that line only blurs more and more as the story progresses and eventually you see the story for what it is… a tragedy.
My poor innocent Mina, we are introduced to this girl with so much light and love to give who only wants to be given love in return. Watching her light slowly get snuffed out is so painful. She is thrown into a world of toxicity and abuse and knows nothing else, but she’s still trying to find her way.
What I really love that author did here is at no point did I feel like Mina was going to fall in love with Shay in a romantic way. This is where Torment differs from you classic dark romance book. Mina stays on her course of wanting someone who wants what’s best for her, and she yearns for an emotional connection. She wants a life outside the one she was thrown into, this includes getting away from the man that will love her for eternity (in his own fucked up way).
Now I can’t not mention our love interest Keenan…. This man also confuses me because he comes into her life when he’s 15 and she’s 9….. which makes me feel very weird but at the same time he’s giving her everything Shay can’t and is essentially everything Shay is not but at the same time he also toes the line of what’s considered inappropriate ….. idk man all I know is that I’m rooting for him and I DONT KNOW HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL!!!!
Wtf. Book 2 is going to kill me.
This will not be for everyone at all. It is so mentally taxing and beyond heavy, please please please check your triggers before going into this.
FIRST THINGS FIRST: this is NOT a romance, I repeat, this is not a romance!!! This is without a doubt the darkest book I have ever read, and please do not take that statement lightly.
This book is entirely taboo and documents the tragic story of a young girl (Mina) being manipulated and groomed by her stepbrother (Shay). This is not the type of obsessive and possessive man that dark romance girlies swoon over. This is the type of man that you are petrified of.
To put this into perspective:
“No one else gives a fuck about you…”
“I’m all you’ve got.”
“Dad has his own life. Once you’re eighteen, he won’t be bothered with you…”
“Every person you’ve loved is gone, except for me. You will always have me. Only me.”
“I’m the only one who has been there for you…” “Your own mother wasn’t even there, remember? She chose the bottle over you every time. Only I was there. I was the only one who wanted to be with you.”
Yeah.
However the author does an incredible job of manipulating the reader right along with Mina because you can’t help but feel for Shay while simultaneously hating his guts, especially in the beginning. I don’t understand my feelings towards Shay and it is very confusing and hard to process as a reader. Knowing that this man is a monster but also being given bits and pieces of his dark past and traumatizing upbringing that make you want to understand why he is the way he is. BUT NOT IN AN ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS OR MAKE THE READER SEE THROUGH ROSE COLORED GLASSES! which makes it even more confusing GAHHHHH
I literally felt like I was gaslit this entire book. The whole time I just kept thinking WHAT THE FUCK????
This book does really well walking the line between somewhat inappropriate and disturbingly toxic. But then that line only blurs more and more as the story progresses and eventually you see the story for what it is… a tragedy.
My poor innocent Mina, we are introduced to this girl with so much light and love to give who only wants to be given love in return. Watching her light slowly get snuffed out is so painful. She is thrown into a world of toxicity and abuse and knows nothing else, but she’s still trying to find her way.
What I really love that author did here is at no point did I feel like Mina was going to fall in love with Shay in a romantic way. This is where Torment differs from you classic dark romance book. Mina stays on her course of wanting someone who wants what’s best for her, and she yearns for an emotional connection. She wants a life outside the one she was thrown into, this includes getting away from the man that will love her for eternity (in his own fucked up way).
Now I can’t not mention our love interest Keenan…. This man also confuses me because he comes into her life when he’s 15 and she’s 9….. which makes me feel very weird but at the same time he’s giving her everything Shay can’t and is essentially everything Shay is not but at the same time he also toes the line of what’s considered inappropriate ….. idk man all I know is that I’m rooting for him and I DONT KNOW HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL!!!!
Wtf. Book 2 is going to kill me.
This will not be for everyone at all. It is so mentally taxing and beyond heavy, please please please check your triggers before going into this.
December 16, 2022
2.5 stars
not as sordid and twisted as i thought i was gonna get. not that grooming and child porn are things to sneeze at. but ive seriously mentally prepared myself for something worse and more disturbing than this.
regardless, i found this rather bland. not a fan of the narrative style in which the story was told (flashback chapters, looongg paragraphs, little dialogues). it didnt make me care, and the romance left me feeling cold.
hero was obsessive, manipulative. heroine was confused by the change in how he treated her, but i dont think she was ever fully manipulated either. i think she could do more to get herself out of the situation if she wanted to.
that said, while i believed the hero was crazily in love with the heroine in his own sick ways, i didnt believe the same about the heroines feelings. she loved him and cared about him, but i dont think she wanted to be with him.
so whats the point?? the romance was too one sided. wasnt i supposed to root for them to be together despite the wrong-ness of their relationship?? she had more chemistry with the other guy. was i reading this all wrong??
maybe i was reading this wrong. the hero wasnt actually in love - just obsessed and fixated with the heroine. but then, why call this a romance?? it could just be a Lolita-esque type of thriller. im so confused.
not as sordid and twisted as i thought i was gonna get. not that grooming and child porn are things to sneeze at. but ive seriously mentally prepared myself for something worse and more disturbing than this.
regardless, i found this rather bland. not a fan of the narrative style in which the story was told (flashback chapters, looongg paragraphs, little dialogues). it didnt make me care, and the romance left me feeling cold.
hero was obsessive, manipulative. heroine was confused by the change in how he treated her, but i dont think she was ever fully manipulated either. i think she could do more to get herself out of the situation if she wanted to.
that said, while i believed the hero was crazily in love with the heroine in his own sick ways, i didnt believe the same about the heroines feelings. she loved him and cared about him, but i dont think she wanted to be with him.
so whats the point?? the romance was too one sided. wasnt i supposed to root for them to be together despite the wrong-ness of their relationship?? she had more chemistry with the other guy. was i reading this all wrong??
maybe i was reading this wrong. the hero wasnt actually in love - just obsessed and fixated with the heroine. but then, why call this a romance?? it could just be a Lolita-esque type of thriller. im so confused.
January 5, 2024
•Minor Spoilers•
This book was SO BAD!
Oh my god I don't even know where to start!
First off every single character got on my last nerve they genuinely all sucked! The mom was a joke, the step dad was a woman beater by day and a useless ass by night who literally could not control his son 99% of the time, Mina was a literal stupid bitch and omfg don't get me started on Shay! ( I will literally ramble on and on, he infuriated me beyond belief like he's a damn fictional character but Istg I'll THROW HANDS!) >:(
Second, now I'm all for a messed up book, I was excited for the age gap, manipulation and abuse but this was soooooo boring like the chapters were stupid long and filled with useless info and it took forever for some thing relevant to happen! The character developmet was terrible, the obsessiveness was so repetitive, (in the worst way) the PET NAMES "Sweetness" from the 13 yr old step brother to the 7yr old girl and the step dad calling her "baby girl" *GAG* it was so terrible.
OH and the MF dad and son fucking in the same room together like in what world is that normal?! The whole biker gang bs grew so old so fast and the story had no real closing!
Overall Mina's life is ruined and she constantly lives in fear because the mom was a desperate dumb bitch who married a horrible horrible man and his whack ass son!
I'm so upset with this book I almost DNF'd but I pushed through thinking something could save the story (nothing did) I could go on forever on why I hated this but I'll stop. There was about two good scenes that's what gave it one star. Some people will enjoy the book and I really hope they do but this was not it for me.
This book was SO BAD!
Oh my god I don't even know where to start!
First off every single character got on my last nerve they genuinely all sucked! The mom was a joke, the step dad was a woman beater by day and a useless ass by night who literally could not control his son 99% of the time, Mina was a literal stupid bitch and omfg don't get me started on Shay! ( I will literally ramble on and on, he infuriated me beyond belief like he's a damn fictional character but Istg I'll THROW HANDS!) >:(
Second, now I'm all for a messed up book, I was excited for the age gap, manipulation and abuse but this was soooooo boring like the chapters were stupid long and filled with useless info and it took forever for some thing relevant to happen! The character developmet was terrible, the obsessiveness was so repetitive, (in the worst way) the PET NAMES "Sweetness" from the 13 yr old step brother to the 7yr old girl and the step dad calling her "baby girl" *GAG* it was so terrible.
OH and the MF dad and son fucking in the same room together like in what world is that normal?! The whole biker gang bs grew so old so fast and the story had no real closing!
Overall Mina's life is ruined and she constantly lives in fear because the mom was a desperate dumb bitch who married a horrible horrible man and his whack ass son!
I'm so upset with this book I almost DNF'd but I pushed through thinking something could save the story (nothing did) I could go on forever on why I hated this but I'll stop. There was about two good scenes that's what gave it one star. Some people will enjoy the book and I really hope they do but this was not it for me.
August 6, 2025
➳ 50 shades of grooming ☆
there are SPOILERS. full SPOILERS. this review has some topics that are triggering so please read with caution.
what the fuck did i just read??? what the fuck did gry and i just do??? i have no idea how to rate this book since it is part one of a duet, but at this point, i would rather throw bleach in my eyes and burn in the sun. this was actually one of the weirdest fucking things i have ever read and the entire time i painfully sat through this i kept asking one question; WHY!!! what was the damn point of any of this??? we went into to torment expecting a sad, gripping story that would make me feel all the feels. instead, we got a white supremacy soap opera mess, that was fueled on shock value and over the top theatrics with no real reason as to why. why was any of this happening??? why do we as the audience—as the readers, care??? everybody was just acting a fool and this whole town is into incestual activities. like??? just a big fucking why...
the one thing i will say about this is, i know we aren't supposed to like them or want them together, and i KNOW this is only part one. however, this does not take away from criticism either. nothing in this book was done correctly or had any reasoning. the relationship between every character was all over the place and again, why??? why did any of this matter...why did anything happen...i just don't care about these stupid birthday party flashbacks and the over dramatic possessive feelings shay has for his little stepsister. again, this rat is a grown adult while she is a literal child for 80% of this book. every. single. character being a predator pedo is just disgusting and unnecessary. what was the reason for everyone to be part of this weird cult abusing women??? children??? dark topics should be explored; they are allowed to be—i never said otherwise. this, however, was a goddamn mess with no pay off. what did we as the audience get from this...NOTHING. because i still see people sympathizing with that piece of shit and saying he is damaged and deserves better. what do you mean a pedo rapist deserves better??? this was so stupid, i can't.
this type of rhetoric never makes sense to me because where is the line drawn...where do people say this is too much and shouldn't be allowed. if we go into the actual content, every character acts like a caricature rather than an actual people. i fear this author has never interacted with kids, or really anyone for that matter because nothing made any sense. even the english was all over the place. you can't say *mum* & *snigger* and then tell me these fools are american. be so serious right now. if we look at this book and compare it to other books that have similar content that get romanticized, i have to be the annoying one that asks the question; where is the line drawn??? sadly, everything in this book that was problematic, and i have seen other people glorify and hype up calling it cute. i am never one to make fun of someone for liking and reading a book, especially ones i hate. i've never done that and i will never & it's the same for this book. i can see why people loved it or related to it. i personally felt nothing, though. i wish i could've said more but reading almost 400 pages of a minor getting groomed and abused by every single character in this book isn't my thing.
everyone in this book needs to die, including myself at this point. the cheapest, most foul, disgraceful fatherless behavior i've read about since the northshore disaster.
there are SPOILERS. full SPOILERS. this review has some topics that are triggering so please read with caution.
what the fuck did i just read??? what the fuck did gry and i just do??? i have no idea how to rate this book since it is part one of a duet, but at this point, i would rather throw bleach in my eyes and burn in the sun. this was actually one of the weirdest fucking things i have ever read and the entire time i painfully sat through this i kept asking one question; WHY!!! what was the damn point of any of this??? we went into to torment expecting a sad, gripping story that would make me feel all the feels. instead, we got a white supremacy soap opera mess, that was fueled on shock value and over the top theatrics with no real reason as to why. why was any of this happening??? why do we as the audience—as the readers, care??? everybody was just acting a fool and this whole town is into incestual activities. like??? just a big fucking why...
the one thing i will say about this is, i know we aren't supposed to like them or want them together, and i KNOW this is only part one. however, this does not take away from criticism either. nothing in this book was done correctly or had any reasoning. the relationship between every character was all over the place and again, why??? why did any of this matter...why did anything happen...i just don't care about these stupid birthday party flashbacks and the over dramatic possessive feelings shay has for his little stepsister. again, this rat is a grown adult while she is a literal child for 80% of this book. every. single. character being a predator pedo is just disgusting and unnecessary. what was the reason for everyone to be part of this weird cult abusing women??? children??? dark topics should be explored; they are allowed to be—i never said otherwise. this, however, was a goddamn mess with no pay off. what did we as the audience get from this...NOTHING. because i still see people sympathizing with that piece of shit and saying he is damaged and deserves better. what do you mean a pedo rapist deserves better??? this was so stupid, i can't.
this type of rhetoric never makes sense to me because where is the line drawn...where do people say this is too much and shouldn't be allowed. if we go into the actual content, every character acts like a caricature rather than an actual people. i fear this author has never interacted with kids, or really anyone for that matter because nothing made any sense. even the english was all over the place. you can't say *mum* & *snigger* and then tell me these fools are american. be so serious right now. if we look at this book and compare it to other books that have similar content that get romanticized, i have to be the annoying one that asks the question; where is the line drawn??? sadly, everything in this book that was problematic, and i have seen other people glorify and hype up calling it cute. i am never one to make fun of someone for liking and reading a book, especially ones i hate. i've never done that and i will never & it's the same for this book. i can see why people loved it or related to it. i personally felt nothing, though. i wish i could've said more but reading almost 400 pages of a minor getting groomed and abused by every single character in this book isn't my thing.
June 21, 2023
DNF'd at 40%
The fact that I got that far is in itself no small feat.
Two 15 years old boys fighting for the attention of a 9 years old little girl is not the kind of "romance" I'm interested in. And honestly, no one else should.
I saw a booktuber recommending this and I decided to give it a try. I didn't find any review discussing their ages so I had no idea what I was getting myself into...
All the high ratings and praise are truly concerning.
I feel really grossed out just thinking about it. The way the step-dad and step-brother touched and talked to the 6/9 years old girl made me so uncomfortable. The whole situation with her mother... How naive the main character had been written on purpose...
This isn't dark romance, this is just fucked up.
The fact that I got that far is in itself no small feat.
Two 15 years old boys fighting for the attention of a 9 years old little girl is not the kind of "romance" I'm interested in. And honestly, no one else should.
I saw a booktuber recommending this and I decided to give it a try. I didn't find any review discussing their ages so I had no idea what I was getting myself into...
All the high ratings and praise are truly concerning.
I feel really grossed out just thinking about it. The way the step-dad and step-brother touched and talked to the 6/9 years old girl made me so uncomfortable. The whole situation with her mother... How naive the main character had been written on purpose...
This isn't dark romance, this is just fucked up.
January 10, 2021
THIS REVIEW IS HELLA LONG. The longest I've ever written. That's how much I <3 Shay & Mina!
The plot:
This story shifts between the past & the present. I'm giving you a plot summary for the past only.
Shay (age 13) & Mina (age 7) are introduced to each other at a picnic. Their respective parents James & Emily, intend to marry. Emily (Mina's mom) is unaware of the dangers of James' Biker group. By the time she finds out she is stuck in the lifestyle, inadvertently dragging her daughter along.
Mina is too young to understand the dangers and is enthralled by the biker lifestyle. Shay's life, however, has been marred with violence as a result of being a "pre-member" of the biker group. Still, Mina loves her new stepbrother and worships the ground he walks on. In turn, Shay finds solace from his violent life through her unconditional love. She becomes his little ray of sunshine.
One night, after Mina sustains injuries, she asks Shay to sleep in her bed. Mina is 7 and doesn't find it inappropriate. Shay is 13 and has reservations. He obliges due to his own guilt over her condition. Shay realizes that sleeping w/Mina chases away the violent nightmares of his gang life. Even though Shay knows it's inappropriate, he continues to share a bed with Mina behind their parents' back for years on end.
Disclaimer: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING of sexual nature happens between the kids. Nor did I feel Shay seeking anything more than a good nights sleep by basking in the warmth Mina provided and his parents denied. However, what might have started as an innocent cry for help from a 13-yr-old boy soon changes how Shay perceives Mina.
Shay starts to expect Mina at his beck & call. As Mina creeps towards adulthood, she resents Shay clinging on to her like a security blanket whenever he tethers at the edge of sanity due to his violent lifestyle. Shay's codependency and fear of losing Mina becomes irrational. He restricts her from going out with friends, dating, attending college (vetoing Mina's own mother's authority).
All the while, Shay does whatever & whoever he wants. His excuse for his poor behavior is basically, it's better to "sleep around" than succumbing to his urges for the only person he truly wants (MEN! Invoke BS meter here pls). He'd rather wait for Mina before professing his feelings and claiming her. And now that Mina is almost an adult, there is nothing else holding Shay back. Dun! Dun! Dun!
The Review:
It's been so long since I've been this affected by a book. I put a stop to my own writing schedule because I couldn't put this book down.
The book is wrong on so many levels. It'll make you uncomfortable at times. There are moments when you will cringe. If you are anything like me, your thought process will morphe like so:
"Awww. He's so sweet & protective."
"Hmm... that was a little weird & uncomfortable."
"I don't know how I feel about what he just did. Is it okay for him to do that?"
"Yeah... it is definitely not okay for him to do that."
"Holy shit girl, RUN! He cray-cray."
I think a good book should keep you engaged and leave you feeling conflicted about the characters. That's exactly how I feel right now. I LOVE books that can make me double guess my sanity. And oh boy did I double guess my sanity. I rooted for Mina & Shay. I liked Mina's other love interest but what can I say, I'm a sucker for the crazies. And Shay is absolutely crazy/obsessive.
Don't get me wrong. There were also times when I absolutely HATED Shay. These were my top:
- When Mina was 7, Shay made her feel guilty to manipulate her into keeping their secret
- When Shay was 19, he beat up a 13 yr old kid half to death for holding Mina's hand.
- When Mina was 16, Shay emotionally abused her by whispering things like, no one else will love you, you have no one other than me, etc. The insecure bf who makes you feel like shit to keep you under wrap.
-When Mina turned 17, he forced her to drink alcohol even though drinking triggered her.
So, you’ll both LOVE and HATE Shay. Alpha. Check. Dominant. Check. Manipulative. Double Check.
As for Mina, she isn't one of those h's who overlooks Shay's shortcomings. She seeks an emotional connection. Her standards include wanting to love someone who wants the best for her.
Imagine that? A heroine who actually cares about how the guy treats her?
We have all read the following plot: she sees his 8 pack abs and 8 inch dick. And that's it, game over! She thinks he's super hot so her body betrays her as she forgets all the bad things he did. WTH!!
That's not love. I always think, what did he do (other than being hot or rich) to make her fall in love? If the H's actions towards an h cannot be justified if he was ugly, fat, & poor, then that's just a shallow connection. As a result, I quite often find h's reasons for falling in love to be surface deep.
THIS IS WHY TORMENT DIFFERS. Mina stays her course throughout. She wants to live her life away from the biker gang violence, possibly with a guy who wants the best for her.
It's been so long since an h who is sweet w/out being c***whipped. Heroines are now classified as either sassy/takes no shit or doormat/dick-whipped. Why can't there be a middle? It's OKAY for an h to be just A NORMAL GIRL, with normal traits, wants & wishes. I can't believe how difficult it is to find this exact balance, but you found it, Dylan. It's like you custom wrote a book just for me :)
The Author:
Last, but not least, Dylan Page. The fact that this is her first book says it all. This author hit it out of the park, and that's putting it mildly.
As mentioned, I COULD NOT PUT THIS BOOK DOWN. The book is well-paced as well as engaging. But the biggest accolade for this first-time author is her character development.
Character development makes a book. When I'm 75% through, I should be able to understand why a character does XYZ, what they like/dislike, their behavior patterns. Otherwise, I can't draw a connection between the main MCs. We have all been victims of one-dimensional characters: the jealous/crazy OW, the cheating OM, the evil stepmother, the predictable "basic" characters that make you want to gag. THANK YOU Dylan for assuming that your readers are intelligent to dissect/interpret on our own to understand that people are GOOD and BAD.
To sum up, you got me to care about these characters, you got me to care about the story. Now all I want to know is what happens next.
Can Mina get away from the gang violence & debauchery to live her life? Can Shay control his inner demons to be a man worthy of Mina's affections? We will find out in Book 2. Waiting impatiently!
The plot:
This story shifts between the past & the present. I'm giving you a plot summary for the past only.
Shay (age 13) & Mina (age 7) are introduced to each other at a picnic. Their respective parents James & Emily, intend to marry. Emily (Mina's mom) is unaware of the dangers of James' Biker group. By the time she finds out she is stuck in the lifestyle, inadvertently dragging her daughter along.
Mina is too young to understand the dangers and is enthralled by the biker lifestyle. Shay's life, however, has been marred with violence as a result of being a "pre-member" of the biker group. Still, Mina loves her new stepbrother and worships the ground he walks on. In turn, Shay finds solace from his violent life through her unconditional love. She becomes his little ray of sunshine.
One night, after Mina sustains injuries, she asks Shay to sleep in her bed. Mina is 7 and doesn't find it inappropriate. Shay is 13 and has reservations. He obliges due to his own guilt over her condition. Shay realizes that sleeping w/Mina chases away the violent nightmares of his gang life. Even though Shay knows it's inappropriate, he continues to share a bed with Mina behind their parents' back for years on end.
Disclaimer: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING of sexual nature happens between the kids. Nor did I feel Shay seeking anything more than a good nights sleep by basking in the warmth Mina provided and his parents denied. However, what might have started as an innocent cry for help from a 13-yr-old boy soon changes how Shay perceives Mina.
Shay starts to expect Mina at his beck & call. As Mina creeps towards adulthood, she resents Shay clinging on to her like a security blanket whenever he tethers at the edge of sanity due to his violent lifestyle. Shay's codependency and fear of losing Mina becomes irrational. He restricts her from going out with friends, dating, attending college (vetoing Mina's own mother's authority).
All the while, Shay does whatever & whoever he wants. His excuse for his poor behavior is basically, it's better to "sleep around" than succumbing to his urges for the only person he truly wants (MEN! Invoke BS meter here pls). He'd rather wait for Mina before professing his feelings and claiming her. And now that Mina is almost an adult, there is nothing else holding Shay back. Dun! Dun! Dun!
The Review:
It's been so long since I've been this affected by a book. I put a stop to my own writing schedule because I couldn't put this book down.
The book is wrong on so many levels. It'll make you uncomfortable at times. There are moments when you will cringe. If you are anything like me, your thought process will morphe like so:
"Awww. He's so sweet & protective."
"Hmm... that was a little weird & uncomfortable."
"I don't know how I feel about what he just did. Is it okay for him to do that?"
"Yeah... it is definitely not okay for him to do that."
"Holy shit girl, RUN! He cray-cray."
I think a good book should keep you engaged and leave you feeling conflicted about the characters. That's exactly how I feel right now. I LOVE books that can make me double guess my sanity. And oh boy did I double guess my sanity. I rooted for Mina & Shay. I liked Mina's other love interest but what can I say, I'm a sucker for the crazies. And Shay is absolutely crazy/obsessive.
Don't get me wrong. There were also times when I absolutely HATED Shay. These were my top:
- When Mina was 7, Shay made her feel guilty to manipulate her into keeping their secret
- When Shay was 19, he beat up a 13 yr old kid half to death for holding Mina's hand.
- When Mina was 16, Shay emotionally abused her by whispering things like, no one else will love you, you have no one other than me, etc. The insecure bf who makes you feel like shit to keep you under wrap.
-When Mina turned 17, he forced her to drink alcohol even though drinking triggered her.
So, you’ll both LOVE and HATE Shay. Alpha. Check. Dominant. Check. Manipulative. Double Check.
As for Mina, she isn't one of those h's who overlooks Shay's shortcomings. She seeks an emotional connection. Her standards include wanting to love someone who wants the best for her.
Imagine that? A heroine who actually cares about how the guy treats her?
We have all read the following plot: she sees his 8 pack abs and 8 inch dick. And that's it, game over! She thinks he's super hot so her body betrays her as she forgets all the bad things he did. WTH!!
That's not love. I always think, what did he do (other than being hot or rich) to make her fall in love? If the H's actions towards an h cannot be justified if he was ugly, fat, & poor, then that's just a shallow connection. As a result, I quite often find h's reasons for falling in love to be surface deep.
THIS IS WHY TORMENT DIFFERS. Mina stays her course throughout. She wants to live her life away from the biker gang violence, possibly with a guy who wants the best for her.
It's been so long since an h who is sweet w/out being c***whipped. Heroines are now classified as either sassy/takes no shit or doormat/dick-whipped. Why can't there be a middle? It's OKAY for an h to be just A NORMAL GIRL, with normal traits, wants & wishes. I can't believe how difficult it is to find this exact balance, but you found it, Dylan. It's like you custom wrote a book just for me :)
The Author:
Last, but not least, Dylan Page. The fact that this is her first book says it all. This author hit it out of the park, and that's putting it mildly.
As mentioned, I COULD NOT PUT THIS BOOK DOWN. The book is well-paced as well as engaging. But the biggest accolade for this first-time author is her character development.
Character development makes a book. When I'm 75% through, I should be able to understand why a character does XYZ, what they like/dislike, their behavior patterns. Otherwise, I can't draw a connection between the main MCs. We have all been victims of one-dimensional characters: the jealous/crazy OW, the cheating OM, the evil stepmother, the predictable "basic" characters that make you want to gag. THANK YOU Dylan for assuming that your readers are intelligent to dissect/interpret on our own to understand that people are GOOD and BAD.
To sum up, you got me to care about these characters, you got me to care about the story. Now all I want to know is what happens next.
Can Mina get away from the gang violence & debauchery to live her life? Can Shay control his inner demons to be a man worthy of Mina's affections? We will find out in Book 2. Waiting impatiently!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 14, 2025
Honestly, this was an uncomfortable read, but I think you’re meant to feel that discomfort. I was absorbed into this f*cked-up world, and I couldn’t look away. I needed to know how the heroine's story ended.
Initially, I wasn’t planning to write a review for this dark duet, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how emotional it made me. Also, if anyone from my flight yesterday happens to see this—no, I wasn’t having a breakdown. I just spent several hours intermittently crying over this story👍
Quick FYI: As much as I enjoyed this duet, I’m genuinely confused why it was marketed as a ‘romance’. Calling it that creates expectations that don’t match the story. There was (kind of) a love interest, but he felt more like a support system than anything else. Maybe I’m overthinking it or perhaps it’s just a broader definition of ‘love’—the toxic kind
The timeline was constantly changing, following the heroine from age 7 to 17. I think showing her perspective so young was important, as you can see how she goes from not understanding this dangerous environment to having more awareness. She loved her mother, but didn’t understand why she was so sad. She loved her stepfather, but didn’t understand why he was constantly screaming at her mother. She loved her stepbrother, but didn’t understand why he was so protective of her.
From ages 7 to 15, you start to see the shift—sadness turns to alcoholism, screaming to violence, protectiveness to hyper-fixation. The heroine doesn’t fully recognise the villain at first, but by 16, she knows it’s too late to run.
The book pulls you into the FMC’s reality so well that you overlook the warning signs, just like she does. Even reading her 9-year-old POV, you question people’s motives, but still don’t fully grasp how deeply her stepbrother depends on her to stay grounded. She doesn’t see people as naturally bad or broken yet, which makes it all the more difficult to read.
By the end of book two, you will hate a certain character. You understand how his environment shaped him, but it doesn’t excuse his actions. What’s wild is that you still end up empathising with him at points, and I’m not sure how the author pulled that off. You remember where it all began, but it's harder to see where it shifts from love to fear.
I think it’s a well-written and complex story that dives into heavy topics like mental abuse, manipulation, grooming, sexual assault, and the fear of leaving someone who once made you feel safe. This book is not my usual vibe, but it was an interesting change. Again, this is not really a romance. It’s pain, trauma, loss, and heartbreak. It shows a distorted version of love that still feels painfully real. I was fully engaged the whole way through, because you could see the car was about to crash, but there was no way you could stop the impact.
Initially, I wasn’t planning to write a review for this dark duet, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how emotional it made me. Also, if anyone from my flight yesterday happens to see this—no, I wasn’t having a breakdown. I just spent several hours intermittently crying over this story👍
Quick FYI: As much as I enjoyed this duet, I’m genuinely confused why it was marketed as a ‘romance’. Calling it that creates expectations that don’t match the story. There was (kind of) a love interest, but he felt more like a support system than anything else. Maybe I’m overthinking it or perhaps it’s just a broader definition of ‘love’—the toxic kind
The timeline was constantly changing, following the heroine from age 7 to 17. I think showing her perspective so young was important, as you can see how she goes from not understanding this dangerous environment to having more awareness. She loved her mother, but didn’t understand why she was so sad. She loved her stepfather, but didn’t understand why he was constantly screaming at her mother. She loved her stepbrother, but didn’t understand why he was so protective of her.
From ages 7 to 15, you start to see the shift—sadness turns to alcoholism, screaming to violence, protectiveness to hyper-fixation. The heroine doesn’t fully recognise the villain at first, but by 16, she knows it’s too late to run.
The book pulls you into the FMC’s reality so well that you overlook the warning signs, just like she does. Even reading her 9-year-old POV, you question people’s motives, but still don’t fully grasp how deeply her stepbrother depends on her to stay grounded. She doesn’t see people as naturally bad or broken yet, which makes it all the more difficult to read.
By the end of book two, you will hate a certain character. You understand how his environment shaped him, but it doesn’t excuse his actions. What’s wild is that you still end up empathising with him at points, and I’m not sure how the author pulled that off. You remember where it all began, but it's harder to see where it shifts from love to fear.
I think it’s a well-written and complex story that dives into heavy topics like mental abuse, manipulation, grooming, sexual assault, and the fear of leaving someone who once made you feel safe. This book is not my usual vibe, but it was an interesting change. Again, this is not really a romance. It’s pain, trauma, loss, and heartbreak. It shows a distorted version of love that still feels painfully real. I was fully engaged the whole way through, because you could see the car was about to crash, but there was no way you could stop the impact.
August 8, 2025
I’m speechless, in the worst way.
If I could give this zero or negative stars, trust me I would.
I’ve never felt this utterly disgusting after finishing a book.
Craving a bath - or to be drowned - in disinfectant right now.
Why did I just read a 300 page grooming handbook?
To preface this, I knew it was going to be extremely dark going in, I was aware of the heavy topics and I was looking forward to cry together with Manas.
What I couldn’t stomach was that this was written in a way where it was easier to blame the victim than the aggressor, confirming pedophilic ideologies, written in a way a PEDOPHILE WOULD ENJOY.
It should genuinely be called grooming 101, because that’s the one and only focus of this book.
I had to put this book down so many times due to how sickened I felt by these people’s actions.
What’s possibly even worse, is that the author couldn’t even get us to care enough for Mina.
Manas and I was through 80% of this book complaining about how repetitive it was, how bored we felt, how little we cared overall.
The writing was all over the place. Using british writing for an american setting, writing an 11 year old as if she’s 5(I’m still convinced that the author has never met a child, because she cannot think children act like this), inconsistent characters, repetitive plot points not adding anything to the story.
This is not me making a statement that topics of grooming and pedophilia don’t belong in literature.
They do. Victims deserve to feel seen and heard.
But I can personally not be out here supporting books where more people empathize with the aggressor than the victim… And I wish I could say that’s because they’re horrible people if they have that mindset, but no it falls down to the way they’re written. I cannot blame them. But I can definitely blame the author for putting this out into the world.
We will read book two, simply in hopes of everyone dying. 🥰
Torment: Part Two - Review
If I could give this zero or negative stars, trust me I would.
I’ve never felt this utterly disgusting after finishing a book.
Craving a bath - or to be drowned - in disinfectant right now.
Why did I just read a 300 page grooming handbook?
To preface this, I knew it was going to be extremely dark going in, I was aware of the heavy topics and I was looking forward to cry together with Manas.
What I couldn’t stomach was that this was written in a way where it was easier to blame the victim than the aggressor, confirming pedophilic ideologies, written in a way a PEDOPHILE WOULD ENJOY.
It should genuinely be called grooming 101, because that’s the one and only focus of this book.
I had to put this book down so many times due to how sickened I felt by these people’s actions.
What’s possibly even worse, is that the author couldn’t even get us to care enough for Mina.
Manas and I was through 80% of this book complaining about how repetitive it was, how bored we felt, how little we cared overall.
The writing was all over the place. Using british writing for an american setting, writing an 11 year old as if she’s 5(I’m still convinced that the author has never met a child, because she cannot think children act like this), inconsistent characters, repetitive plot points not adding anything to the story.
This is not me making a statement that topics of grooming and pedophilia don’t belong in literature.
They do. Victims deserve to feel seen and heard.
But I can personally not be out here supporting books where more people empathize with the aggressor than the victim… And I wish I could say that’s because they’re horrible people if they have that mindset, but no it falls down to the way they’re written. I cannot blame them. But I can definitely blame the author for putting this out into the world.
We will read book two, simply in hopes of everyone dying. 🥰
Torment: Part Two - Review
June 17, 2021
4.35 stars
“No one loves you more than I do.” He turned his head so that he could look into my eyes, his nose barely touching mine. “You know that, right?”
Run Mina! Ruuuuuunn!!!
First of all, I wouldn’t call this a dark romance! This is Dark! Pure darkness, mind fuck! And of Course this is a debut and the author doesn’t have like a gazillion books waiting for me to read. GAAAAHH! The gods of great dark books are against me.
GAAAAHHH!!!! I feel abused by Shay and everyone else in this book. The author should be paying for my therapy sessions. I need them.
The authors note was reaaallyy good.
This is the story of Mina. We meet Mina when she is 7 years old and her mother is soon to be married to a biker, James, who has a 13-year-old son, Shay. You know where this is going, right?
I was not prepared for Shay! Damn! what a manipulative, overprotective, obsessive, abusive little fucker. Shay manipulated Mina into believing that he is all Mina needs. His father is no better, because I believe he knows his son is a psycho but he doesn’t lift a finger to help him. He benefits from Shay’s outbursts, the club business needs someone like Shay.
“Don’t ever leave me, Mina.”
Book 1 starts when Mina is 7 years and ends when she is 17 years. What a gruesome 10 years. The writing is so good that it is hard to believe that this is Dylan Page’s debut. Even the flashbacks didn’t bother me. I was glued by this train wreck from page one.
Mina! Omg she is so innocent and doesn’t understand that she is in deep shit. I felt abused on behalf of Mina. Mina grew up in an environment no child should ever grow up in. She was surrounded by a bunch of creeps. Reading from the POV of a child is not good at all, it reminded me of The Lovely Bones.
They were pretty, wore a lot of makeup and tiny revealing dresses, but walked with a confidence that I couldn’t help but admire. They looked older than they were, and acted like it, too. I’d seen them with Shay’s friends and saw how they interacted with them… flirting, it was called. I had even seen them kissing some of the boys, like Cody and Aron. Yuck, I thought. Why any of those girls would willingly kiss one of those boys was beyond me.
Gaaahh! I am rooting for Mina. She deserves some other good life.
Shay! What a character. The author decided to go all out. He started out as someone I wanted to hug, but by the end of the book after being emotionally abused by him, I hate him, I freaking hate him or not. He is so convinced he is doing the right thing. I really wanted to be in his head. I wanted to know what he was thinking. GAAHHH! I am not forgetting him anytime soon. Part 2 better give me some answers.
“You want to be happy, right?”
I nod subtly, restricted by his grip.
“You don’t want to cause problems for dad and I, or the club?”
I shake my head this time.
“You don’t want to be the reason I have another breakdown again?”
Mina’s mother! Gosh! I want to be mad at her, but I can’t she did what she thought was best for her and her daughter, she didn’t know what she was getting into.
I love how Mina was written, she is no damsel and she is not perfect. She is just Mina, trying her hardest to survive day by day.
That spanking scene though!! OMG! Morals out the window. That was some freaking hot, taboo, forbidden, illegal shit.
Hmmm Keenan! Let's just say he creeps me out, there is definitely something wrong with him.
“No one loves you more than I do.” He turned his head so that he could look into my eyes, his nose barely touching mine. “You know that, right?”
Run Mina! Ruuuuuunn!!!
First of all, I wouldn’t call this a dark romance! This is Dark! Pure darkness, mind fuck! And of Course this is a debut and the author doesn’t have like a gazillion books waiting for me to read. GAAAAHH! The gods of great dark books are against me.
GAAAAHHH!!!! I feel abused by Shay and everyone else in this book. The author should be paying for my therapy sessions. I need them.
The authors note was reaaallyy good.
This is the story of Mina. We meet Mina when she is 7 years old and her mother is soon to be married to a biker, James, who has a 13-year-old son, Shay. You know where this is going, right?
I was not prepared for Shay! Damn! what a manipulative, overprotective, obsessive, abusive little fucker. Shay manipulated Mina into believing that he is all Mina needs. His father is no better, because I believe he knows his son is a psycho but he doesn’t lift a finger to help him. He benefits from Shay’s outbursts, the club business needs someone like Shay.
“Don’t ever leave me, Mina.”
Book 1 starts when Mina is 7 years and ends when she is 17 years. What a gruesome 10 years. The writing is so good that it is hard to believe that this is Dylan Page’s debut. Even the flashbacks didn’t bother me. I was glued by this train wreck from page one.
Mina! Omg she is so innocent and doesn’t understand that she is in deep shit. I felt abused on behalf of Mina. Mina grew up in an environment no child should ever grow up in. She was surrounded by a bunch of creeps. Reading from the POV of a child is not good at all, it reminded me of The Lovely Bones.
They were pretty, wore a lot of makeup and tiny revealing dresses, but walked with a confidence that I couldn’t help but admire. They looked older than they were, and acted like it, too. I’d seen them with Shay’s friends and saw how they interacted with them… flirting, it was called. I had even seen them kissing some of the boys, like Cody and Aron. Yuck, I thought. Why any of those girls would willingly kiss one of those boys was beyond me.
Gaaahh! I am rooting for Mina. She deserves some other good life.
Shay! What a character. The author decided to go all out. He started out as someone I wanted to hug, but by the end of the book after being emotionally abused by him, I hate him, I freaking hate him or not. He is so convinced he is doing the right thing. I really wanted to be in his head. I wanted to know what he was thinking. GAAHHH! I am not forgetting him anytime soon. Part 2 better give me some answers.
“You want to be happy, right?”
I nod subtly, restricted by his grip.
“You don’t want to cause problems for dad and I, or the club?”
I shake my head this time.
“You don’t want to be the reason I have another breakdown again?”
Mina’s mother! Gosh! I want to be mad at her, but I can’t she did what she thought was best for her and her daughter, she didn’t know what she was getting into.
I love how Mina was written, she is no damsel and she is not perfect. She is just Mina, trying her hardest to survive day by day.
That spanking scene though!! OMG! Morals out the window. That was some freaking hot, taboo, forbidden, illegal shit.
Hmmm Keenan! Let's just say he creeps me out, there is definitely something wrong with him.
January 13, 2025
3.5★
main thoughts:
This book really does torment you😭 omg please read with caution because this is not a romance story at all and it might give you the urge to seek a therapist or some level of comfort. I honestly give props to the author because I could never write a book like this without going insane even if everyone is just fictional. This book made me so pissed off for mina and I just wanted to scream and tug my hair out because why is everyone so irritating and fucking unhinged, I swear everyone in this book needs a reality check and a mental institution🫣 I'm concerned on so many levels for these characters and I’m reeling about whatever this book was.
⇩
Listen I knew what I was getting into and I knew this book was going to be a mind fuck, but still I want to kill everyone in this book because it would be a mercy😅 I want to mention though that this book could have been written a bit better because I feel like certain parts were boring and we didn’t really start to get small answers until the end. Which bothered me because I was waiting for the missing context for forever because I’m ngl there were times I was so confused during this book especially at first. I also wish we got better written past chapters because I swear some didn’t even matter and it was hard for me to go from present to the past, which usually isn’t a problem for me. The nicknames in this book actually killed me though because why is everyone creepy and giving mina nicknames that were meant for a child when she wasn’t anymore ughh.
characters:
Mina: she is definitely a complex character imo because her actions were making me so mad, but at the end of the day she is a victim and doesn’t deserve the stuff she had to go through. I really do want to set the world on fire for her, I just want her to have a more massive realization and escape her situation.
Shay: At first I was like how is he as bad as everyone says? No, guys I in fact learned real quick that this man is sick and I wish ill on him because he needs some type of mental help. Idc if he is suffering that doesn’t give him the right to be a sicko, he is literally a walking red flag with the worst traits known to man. He is not a love interest and shouldn’t be seen as one.
Keenan: Not as bad a Shay but I still don’t like him because he also like girls that are younger than him which is also sick😤he might be trying to help mina but he’s still lying to her and not giving her the answers that she needs, just like everyone else. I hope Mina doesn’t end up with him either tbh.
extra:
Also if you’re wondering why I decided that it was a good idea to read a crazy book like this one, I just don’t have any answers for you in all honesty I’m only sticking around for the next book because I need answers and I want to know what’s going to happen even if it scares me.
pre review:
╰┈➤ finished on january first, 2025
omg wtf did I just read rtc
〰️pre read:🖤
╰┈➤ started on december thirtieth, 2024
soo I come back to this app after being off of it for a week and this is what I decide to read😭 I heard these books fuck you up in the head, but it's okay I have my blankets and my emotional support water bottle😅
main thoughts:
This book really does torment you😭 omg please read with caution because this is not a romance story at all and it might give you the urge to seek a therapist or some level of comfort. I honestly give props to the author because I could never write a book like this without going insane even if everyone is just fictional. This book made me so pissed off for mina and I just wanted to scream and tug my hair out because why is everyone so irritating and fucking unhinged, I swear everyone in this book needs a reality check and a mental institution🫣 I'm concerned on so many levels for these characters and I’m reeling about whatever this book was.
⇩
Listen I knew what I was getting into and I knew this book was going to be a mind fuck, but still I want to kill everyone in this book because it would be a mercy😅 I want to mention though that this book could have been written a bit better because I feel like certain parts were boring and we didn’t really start to get small answers until the end. Which bothered me because I was waiting for the missing context for forever because I’m ngl there were times I was so confused during this book especially at first. I also wish we got better written past chapters because I swear some didn’t even matter and it was hard for me to go from present to the past, which usually isn’t a problem for me. The nicknames in this book actually killed me though because why is everyone creepy and giving mina nicknames that were meant for a child when she wasn’t anymore ughh.
characters:
Mina: she is definitely a complex character imo because her actions were making me so mad, but at the end of the day she is a victim and doesn’t deserve the stuff she had to go through. I really do want to set the world on fire for her, I just want her to have a more massive realization and escape her situation.
Shay: At first I was like how is he as bad as everyone says? No, guys I in fact learned real quick that this man is sick and I wish ill on him because he needs some type of mental help. Idc if he is suffering that doesn’t give him the right to be a sicko, he is literally a walking red flag with the worst traits known to man. He is not a love interest and shouldn’t be seen as one.
Keenan: Not as bad a Shay but I still don’t like him because he also like girls that are younger than him which is also sick😤he might be trying to help mina but he’s still lying to her and not giving her the answers that she needs, just like everyone else. I hope Mina doesn’t end up with him either tbh.
extra:
Also if you’re wondering why I decided that it was a good idea to read a crazy book like this one, I just don’t have any answers for you in all honesty I’m only sticking around for the next book because I need answers and I want to know what’s going to happen even if it scares me.
pre review:
╰┈➤ finished on january first, 2025
omg wtf did I just read rtc
〰️pre read:🖤
╰┈➤ started on december thirtieth, 2024
soo I come back to this app after being off of it for a week and this is what I decide to read😭 I heard these books fuck you up in the head, but it's okay I have my blankets and my emotional support water bottle😅
January 13, 2024
That's it, I'm over with this book.
This was another book about obsessive, stalking semi-bullying that didn't quite hit the mark. Although some authors master this trope beautifully, this one squandered the opportunity to create something memorable.
The chapters after the first one intrigued me so I continued to read, but I didn't find anything interesting after that. Because the writing was substandard soon after, the plot was virtually non-existent and what little story there was wasn't thrilling.
My experience with this book was not as I had anticipated. In fact, I found myself disliking many aspects of the story, including the world building and random tidbits of information that did not seem relevant. To be honest, I was bored and did not feel any connection to the story, plot, or characters. Despite my initial desire to mark it as a "did not finish," I ended up completing it. However, as I continued reading, I realized I would have been better off not finishing it at all.
I found the writing style of this book to be very disappointing. Not only was it written in the point of view of a seven year old, but it continued to progress to the point of view of a teenager. This made it difficult to connect with the characters and understand their actions. As a result, the plot did not seem to move forward and the constant change in perspective was distracting. It became frustrating and at times, I found myself rolling my eyes in disbelief. This took away from my enjoyment of the book and made it difficult to stay engaged.
There is nothing remotely interesting or likable about the story, the characters, or its plot. The hero Shay was self-centered, controlling, and it's hard to believe the heroine was able to accept his manipulative tendencies as love.
Shay's obsession added yet another shock value to an uninteresting story with annoying characters. There were also some clunky and rudimentary sentences, as well as odd word choices that slowed down reading.
Mina's inner dialogue was difficult to follow as it sounded unnatural. Many of her thoughts were cliches and just not very interesting.
There were a lot of things that I disliked about both the main characters and the side characters. Also, I loathe the forced tropey bully romance between these two.
I couldn't get invested in the characters or the plot, and found myself struggling to even finish the book. It's a shame, because I was really hoping to find the book’s appeal after all these glowing five star reviews. But now, I'm back to feeling uninspired and unmotivated to pick up another book. Hopefully, I'll find something soon that reignites my love for reading.
Overall, I was highly disappointed with this book. The writing style was unappealing and the characters were unlikable and poorly developed. The story itself lacked depth and originality, relying on overused tropes and shock value for any semblance of entertainment. I would not recommend this book to anyone.
This was another book about obsessive, stalking semi-bullying that didn't quite hit the mark. Although some authors master this trope beautifully, this one squandered the opportunity to create something memorable.
The chapters after the first one intrigued me so I continued to read, but I didn't find anything interesting after that. Because the writing was substandard soon after, the plot was virtually non-existent and what little story there was wasn't thrilling.
My experience with this book was not as I had anticipated. In fact, I found myself disliking many aspects of the story, including the world building and random tidbits of information that did not seem relevant. To be honest, I was bored and did not feel any connection to the story, plot, or characters. Despite my initial desire to mark it as a "did not finish," I ended up completing it. However, as I continued reading, I realized I would have been better off not finishing it at all.
I found the writing style of this book to be very disappointing. Not only was it written in the point of view of a seven year old, but it continued to progress to the point of view of a teenager. This made it difficult to connect with the characters and understand their actions. As a result, the plot did not seem to move forward and the constant change in perspective was distracting. It became frustrating and at times, I found myself rolling my eyes in disbelief. This took away from my enjoyment of the book and made it difficult to stay engaged.
There is nothing remotely interesting or likable about the story, the characters, or its plot. The hero Shay was self-centered, controlling, and it's hard to believe the heroine was able to accept his manipulative tendencies as love.
Shay's obsession added yet another shock value to an uninteresting story with annoying characters. There were also some clunky and rudimentary sentences, as well as odd word choices that slowed down reading.
Mina's inner dialogue was difficult to follow as it sounded unnatural. Many of her thoughts were cliches and just not very interesting.
There were a lot of things that I disliked about both the main characters and the side characters. Also, I loathe the forced tropey bully romance between these two.
I couldn't get invested in the characters or the plot, and found myself struggling to even finish the book. It's a shame, because I was really hoping to find the book’s appeal after all these glowing five star reviews. But now, I'm back to feeling uninspired and unmotivated to pick up another book. Hopefully, I'll find something soon that reignites my love for reading.
Overall, I was highly disappointed with this book. The writing style was unappealing and the characters were unlikable and poorly developed. The story itself lacked depth and originality, relying on overused tropes and shock value for any semblance of entertainment. I would not recommend this book to anyone.
January 31, 2021
Torment was my anticipated, expected psychological read adding taboo-ness which had me so much invested in the story. It's a step-brother and step-sister madness. A step-brother who pushes all boundaries unexpected and 100% obesessed and possessive of his step-sister.
Mina Westberg and Shay O’Hare were only 7-years and 13-years when they thought they found the missing pieces of their life. They simply fit and fill the empty spaces. A strong bond which exceeded protection and more interfering of life. The story gives us flashbacks as Mina and Shay grew up. Mina's mum married into a dysfunctional family, Mina unaware was happy to have a step-father and step-brother. Shay's father runs an MC club. Shay as a child was moody, broody and psychotic. His unhindged moods were frequent for which he was named "Maniac". The MC's lifestyle was hidden from Mina as she grew until unpredictable situations approaches her.
Mina's mum tries to protect Mina from the family she married. Shay, his father and the club members are never dangerous to Mina, infact they love and protect her but their attitude towards Mina's mother was different. Mina has a secret admirer who is also a MC member of a different club and a rival of Shay. I'm waiting for this secret to come out and Shay's reaction to it. Every characters has flaws which was wonderfully done. Shay is everything wrong. I find Mina gets manipulated by Shay and his fathers endearments and gets forgiven for anything done wrong. The beginning of sexual attraction of Mina towards Shay is slowly developing, she is discovering her fondness for Shay differently for which she feels guilty but cannot resist.
The story still has gaps and the details vivid. Some portion of the book I found myself losing interest but it wasn't bad that I would skim-read it. This book is taboo-filled, complicated and dark. I'm eager for the next book to be out and spare myself from the cliffhanger trauma.
Mina Westberg and Shay O’Hare were only 7-years and 13-years when they thought they found the missing pieces of their life. They simply fit and fill the empty spaces. A strong bond which exceeded protection and more interfering of life. The story gives us flashbacks as Mina and Shay grew up. Mina's mum married into a dysfunctional family, Mina unaware was happy to have a step-father and step-brother. Shay's father runs an MC club. Shay as a child was moody, broody and psychotic. His unhindged moods were frequent for which he was named "Maniac". The MC's lifestyle was hidden from Mina as she grew until unpredictable situations approaches her.
Mina's mum tries to protect Mina from the family she married. Shay, his father and the club members are never dangerous to Mina, infact they love and protect her but their attitude towards Mina's mother was different. Mina has a secret admirer who is also a MC member of a different club and a rival of Shay. I'm waiting for this secret to come out and Shay's reaction to it. Every characters has flaws which was wonderfully done. Shay is everything wrong. I find Mina gets manipulated by Shay and his fathers endearments and gets forgiven for anything done wrong. The beginning of sexual attraction of Mina towards Shay is slowly developing, she is discovering her fondness for Shay differently for which she feels guilty but cannot resist.
The story still has gaps and the details vivid. Some portion of the book I found myself losing interest but it wasn't bad that I would skim-read it. This book is taboo-filled, complicated and dark. I'm eager for the next book to be out and spare myself from the cliffhanger trauma.
September 8, 2024
1⭐️
This is the worst book I think I’ve ever read 💀💀 I don’t know how it can be recommended as a romance? It’s not 😭😭😭
And look, I like dark books, I’m all for the anti-hero, the pitch black morally grey guy getting the girl. But I draw the line at borderline peadophilia 😂 there is nothing romantic about two teenagers, two young men, lusting after a 9 year old. A CHILD.
And she’ll obviously end up with one of them in book 2. To each their own but that’s not the kind of story I want to read about 😅 there is no going back from that for either Keenan or Shay. It’s grooming, it’s gross, with neither ‘love interest’ having a single redeeming quality.
Where is it set? UK? USA? Because Mina calls her mum, m-u-m. But then she talks about being a senior in high school and calling the cops. Confused.
In one chapter in the past Mina is 9 years old, she tells us Shay is 14. In a present chapter she’s 16, and Shay is 23… Either Mina has amnesia and forgotten how old Shay is or the author messed up.
The writing good lord 🤦🏽♀️
𝙆𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨!
𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚!
𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙄’𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙮
The italics and !!!!!!! 😭😭 The dialogue and inner monologue is some of the worst I’ve read. What 9 year old is thinking her 14 year old stepbrother is ‘attractive’ and thinks someone is ‘indisputably good.’
Other faves: bad-ass biker, chick magnet, sweetbutts, club ho’s 😭😭😭
AND THE OVERUSE OF NICKNAMES 💀💀 Sweetness,
Sunshine, Cutie 😩😩 Shay, a 16 year old boy is calling his kid stepsister SWEETNESS? 🤣 and Keenan, calling her hon?? Another 16 year old. Sorry I didn’t realise he was a bald middle aged man. My mistake.
I have nothing more to add, only that I wish this reading experience could be erased from my brain.
This is the worst book I think I’ve ever read 💀💀 I don’t know how it can be recommended as a romance? It’s not 😭😭😭
And look, I like dark books, I’m all for the anti-hero, the pitch black morally grey guy getting the girl. But I draw the line at borderline peadophilia 😂 there is nothing romantic about two teenagers, two young men, lusting after a 9 year old. A CHILD.
And she’ll obviously end up with one of them in book 2. To each their own but that’s not the kind of story I want to read about 😅 there is no going back from that for either Keenan or Shay. It’s grooming, it’s gross, with neither ‘love interest’ having a single redeeming quality.
Where is it set? UK? USA? Because Mina calls her mum, m-u-m. But then she talks about being a senior in high school and calling the cops. Confused.
In one chapter in the past Mina is 9 years old, she tells us Shay is 14. In a present chapter she’s 16, and Shay is 23… Either Mina has amnesia and forgotten how old Shay is or the author messed up.
The writing good lord 🤦🏽♀️
𝙆𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨!
𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚!
𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙄’𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙮
The italics and !!!!!!! 😭😭 The dialogue and inner monologue is some of the worst I’ve read. What 9 year old is thinking her 14 year old stepbrother is ‘attractive’ and thinks someone is ‘indisputably good.’
Other faves: bad-ass biker, chick magnet, sweetbutts, club ho’s 😭😭😭
AND THE OVERUSE OF NICKNAMES 💀💀 Sweetness,
Sunshine, Cutie 😩😩 Shay, a 16 year old boy is calling his kid stepsister SWEETNESS? 🤣 and Keenan, calling her hon?? Another 16 year old. Sorry I didn’t realise he was a bald middle aged man. My mistake.
I have nothing more to add, only that I wish this reading experience could be erased from my brain.
February 27, 2021
First things first, where the hell is the sequel???
Holy crap, talk about abuse, manipulation and how twisted a person can be! Shay, you sick motherfucker, get some help!
Despite being frustrated with Mina most of the time, I'm rooting furiously for her because I can see how trapped she is, caged by an obsessive love and suffocating sick protectiveness.
I have to say, there was some telling at the beginning that distracted me. I kept going back to see if what I was reading was really necessary, or if there was another way. However, at some point, that stopped bothering me. I don't know if I got used to it or if the perspective of the story changed as Mina has grown.
Despite that, I couldn't put this down!
Now, you evil author, hurry up.
Holy crap, talk about abuse, manipulation and how twisted a person can be! Shay, you sick motherfucker, get some help!
Despite being frustrated with Mina most of the time, I'm rooting furiously for her because I can see how trapped she is, caged by an obsessive love and suffocating sick protectiveness.
I have to say, there was some telling at the beginning that distracted me. I kept going back to see if what I was reading was really necessary, or if there was another way. However, at some point, that stopped bothering me. I don't know if I got used to it or if the perspective of the story changed as Mina has grown.
Despite that, I couldn't put this down!
Now, you evil author, hurry up.
June 9, 2022
This book ends in a cliffhanger so you have to read book 2 to find out what happens in the series. Having read book 2, I wish I hadn’t wasted my time with this series. These books are not romance novels. So if you’re reading this expecting a dark romance novel where h and H end up together (which was what I was expecting), then you’ll be sorely disappointed.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 30, 2024
What the actual fuck I'm scared. The amount of manipulation in this book.
Y'all can't be for real. Everyone was hyping this up. He literally groomed his sister bye-
Y'all can't be for real. Everyone was hyping this up. He literally groomed his sister bye-
August 15, 2024
5/5 ⭐️s - This is a dark romance book without the "romance." Definitely not for everyone, and strictly 18+!
I devoured Parts 1 and 2 in 8 hours, and I could not put it down. It's unlike anything l've read before-pushing boundaries, challenging my morals as a reader and person. Dylan (the author) did a fantastic job weaving this twisted, dark, and disturbing story between Mina and her stepbrother Shay. I can't believe this is her debut novel because it messed with my head in ways I wasn't expecting. The writing is so strong that I felt manipulated and gaslit throughout the entire book.
⛔️Let me stress again: this is not a love story. It's about how Shay groomed Mina from childhood and how their relationship spirals into something much, much darker.⛔️
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‼️Spoiler warning ‼️
The book is told in dual POVs from Mina's perspective, both in the past and present. Mina meets Shay when she's 7, and he's 13, after her mom marries her stepfather, James. James and Shay are involved in a motorcycle gang, with Shay acting as the enforcer. From 7-year-old Mina's perspective, James and Shay are like family, treating her like a princess. Shay, even at a young age, is violent, though the author does a good job NOT glorifying his behavior. Mina knows Shay is dangerous, but as the reader, we're left questioning the extent of it, just as she is. Lines blur between them. Mina sees Shay as her brother, but it's clear Shay's feelings were never innocent.
At first, his behavior could almost be written off-cooking for her, protecting her from bullies, sneaking into her bed at night and telling her to keep it a secret, but never crossing a certain line. I kept thinking, "Maybe this isn't as bad as it seems," but then l'd remind myself, No, this is deeply disturbing. That's where the feeling of being gaslit comes in. It's all so subtle, yet undeniably wrong.
Mina is the only light in Shay's life-the only thing he cares about in a world he hates. When he "loses it," Mina is the only one who can calm him down. He would never physically hurt her, and because of this, Mina feels trapped. She can't leave, not just because Shay wouldn't let her, but because the gang depends on her to keep him in check. She's stuck-both mentally and physically-feeling responsible for him. If she ever left, others would suffer the consequences.
James, the stepfather, gave me such mixed feelings. On one hand, he's an amazing dad to Mina and clearly loves her mom. But behind their backs, he's cheating and doing illegal things. I wanted to hate him, but from Mina's perspective, you can't help but feel for him. He treats her so well that you catch yourself smiling. But then you remember, No, he's not a good person, because if he were, he'd let Mina and her mother go. His lifestyle isn't fit for them. The same goes for the motorcycle club members-so likable on the surface, but morally corrupt underneath.
Then there's Keenan, Shay's enemy from a rival gang. He befriends Mina when she's 11 and he's 16 or 17, which immediately threw up red flags for me. Why would a teenager want to be friends with a child? It felt creepy, but over time, he seems to genuinely care about her, offering emotional support and being her pen pal for years. He watches her ballet practices, and I couldn't decide if it was innocent or if I was just being gaslit again. On one hand, he wanted to help her escape the toxic city and gang life by supporting her dancing. On the other hand, his interest in her felt off, even though nothing ever happened.
This book messes with you mentally. I kept questioning whether the characters' behavior was acceptable, but the lines were so blurred. Grooming felt casual, and it left my head spinning, trying to figure out what was right and what was horribly wrong. Deep down, you know it's messed up-gross, even - but Dylan portrayed that tension so well.
I devoured Parts 1 and 2 in 8 hours, and I could not put it down. It's unlike anything l've read before-pushing boundaries, challenging my morals as a reader and person. Dylan (the author) did a fantastic job weaving this twisted, dark, and disturbing story between Mina and her stepbrother Shay. I can't believe this is her debut novel because it messed with my head in ways I wasn't expecting. The writing is so strong that I felt manipulated and gaslit throughout the entire book.
⛔️Let me stress again: this is not a love story. It's about how Shay groomed Mina from childhood and how their relationship spirals into something much, much darker.⛔️
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‼️Spoiler warning ‼️
The book is told in dual POVs from Mina's perspective, both in the past and present. Mina meets Shay when she's 7, and he's 13, after her mom marries her stepfather, James. James and Shay are involved in a motorcycle gang, with Shay acting as the enforcer. From 7-year-old Mina's perspective, James and Shay are like family, treating her like a princess. Shay, even at a young age, is violent, though the author does a good job NOT glorifying his behavior. Mina knows Shay is dangerous, but as the reader, we're left questioning the extent of it, just as she is. Lines blur between them. Mina sees Shay as her brother, but it's clear Shay's feelings were never innocent.
At first, his behavior could almost be written off-cooking for her, protecting her from bullies, sneaking into her bed at night and telling her to keep it a secret, but never crossing a certain line. I kept thinking, "Maybe this isn't as bad as it seems," but then l'd remind myself, No, this is deeply disturbing. That's where the feeling of being gaslit comes in. It's all so subtle, yet undeniably wrong.
Mina is the only light in Shay's life-the only thing he cares about in a world he hates. When he "loses it," Mina is the only one who can calm him down. He would never physically hurt her, and because of this, Mina feels trapped. She can't leave, not just because Shay wouldn't let her, but because the gang depends on her to keep him in check. She's stuck-both mentally and physically-feeling responsible for him. If she ever left, others would suffer the consequences.
James, the stepfather, gave me such mixed feelings. On one hand, he's an amazing dad to Mina and clearly loves her mom. But behind their backs, he's cheating and doing illegal things. I wanted to hate him, but from Mina's perspective, you can't help but feel for him. He treats her so well that you catch yourself smiling. But then you remember, No, he's not a good person, because if he were, he'd let Mina and her mother go. His lifestyle isn't fit for them. The same goes for the motorcycle club members-so likable on the surface, but morally corrupt underneath.
Then there's Keenan, Shay's enemy from a rival gang. He befriends Mina when she's 11 and he's 16 or 17, which immediately threw up red flags for me. Why would a teenager want to be friends with a child? It felt creepy, but over time, he seems to genuinely care about her, offering emotional support and being her pen pal for years. He watches her ballet practices, and I couldn't decide if it was innocent or if I was just being gaslit again. On one hand, he wanted to help her escape the toxic city and gang life by supporting her dancing. On the other hand, his interest in her felt off, even though nothing ever happened.
This book messes with you mentally. I kept questioning whether the characters' behavior was acceptable, but the lines were so blurred. Grooming felt casual, and it left my head spinning, trying to figure out what was right and what was horribly wrong. Deep down, you know it's messed up-gross, even - but Dylan portrayed that tension so well.
February 22, 2021
4,5. My heart is still racing for this book!
What I just finish read?
It’s worth the reading!
What I just finish read?
It’s worth the reading!
Read
June 4, 2021DNF for now
I think you should be in a certain mood for this book and I’m pretty sure I’m miles away from that mood. This was a ‘it’s me not the book’ kind of situation.
I went into this completely blind and I gotta be honest I didn’t know who I rooting for more, Shay or Keenan.
I’ll probably pick this up another time. The storyline got a little too boring for me and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Shay kind of reminded me of Massimo with the whole “baby-girl” thing going on. But a hotter, less cringe version of him that didn’t make me want to bleach my eyes and hears
I think you should be in a certain mood for this book and I’m pretty sure I’m miles away from that mood. This was a ‘it’s me not the book’ kind of situation.
I went into this completely blind and I gotta be honest I didn’t know who I rooting for more, Shay or Keenan.
I’ll probably pick this up another time. The storyline got a little too boring for me and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Shay kind of reminded me of Massimo with the whole “baby-girl” thing going on. But a hotter, less cringe version of him that didn’t make me want to bleach my eyes and hears
February 12, 2023
4.6 stars because it was a well written non-romance book.
January 25, 2022
5⭐️
guys idk i'm a mess tbh. i thought sleeping on it would help me decide but i'm stuck. I LOVE this book i thought i was gonna lower my rating because the back and forth flashbacks irritated me but you know what mira shut the fuck up, respectfully.
anyway spoilers ahead, ya babies leave.
dylan page needs an award because i was rooting for shay THIS WHOLE time but out of nowhere keenan legit made my heart <3 i'm never like this, i always root for one guy. i'm so lost and confused and god idk.
i LOVE shay and now i'm kinda 100% sure she won't end up with him. it may end with him dying and mina will get her HEA or mina is gonna die and shay is gonna sit there and cry bc his baby girl is dead.
OR maybe she pretends to die and has HEA while listen i have so many thoughts i know i'm right SOMEWHERE.
guys a day later and i'm still:
tbh shay's manipulation in this book was so fluffy compared to book 2 (yes i started it already), i found it funny at times.
PLEASE i couldn't. I WAS LAUGHING bitch really went cry cry cry cry cry manipulate cry cry cry cry cry manipulate. i love him istg. i don't usually like whinny guys but shay just delivered on another LEVEL.
how i imagined shay for 89% of the book:
how i imagined james 100% of this book:
shay with mina:
anyways, i love this book lemme go fucking fuck up my life a lil more.
“ You’re a little ray of light, Mina. A ray of light in all of our dark, shitty lives...”
guys idk i'm a mess tbh. i thought sleeping on it would help me decide but i'm stuck. I LOVE this book i thought i was gonna lower my rating because the back and forth flashbacks irritated me but you know what mira shut the fuck up, respectfully.
anyway spoilers ahead, ya babies leave.
dylan page needs an award because i was rooting for shay THIS WHOLE time but out of nowhere keenan legit made my heart <3 i'm never like this, i always root for one guy. i'm so lost and confused and god idk.
i LOVE shay and now i'm kinda 100% sure she won't end up with him. it may end with him dying and mina will get her HEA or mina is gonna die and shay is gonna sit there and cry bc his baby girl is dead.
OR maybe she pretends to die and has HEA while listen i have so many thoughts i know i'm right SOMEWHERE.
guys a day later and i'm still:
tbh shay's manipulation in this book was so fluffy compared to book 2 (yes i started it already), i found it funny at times.
“Mina, I need you. I need your help… I-I…” He sounded like he was choking. “I can feel-feel the dark cloud in my mind. It’s-it’s growing. It’s drowning me! I need you!”
PLEASE i couldn't. I WAS LAUGHING bitch really went cry cry cry cry cry manipulate cry cry cry cry cry manipulate. i love him istg. i don't usually like whinny guys but shay just delivered on another LEVEL.
“Mina, you are all I have that is good. The darkness in my head, it’s killing me. I’m falling into it and I don’t know how to make it stop. All I know is that when you’re with me, I feel better. That dark cloud in my mind goes away. I need to know I still have you. If I don’t… if you don’t… I…”
“Mina,” he snapped, “other guys… they’ll hurt you. They’ll use you up and throw you away like you’re garbage! They’ll never love you, or cherish you. They won’t appreciate what you are… how perfect you are. Not like I do.”
“No, Shay. It’s not that. I just don’t see you like I see-”
His head snaps up, his eyes wide and furious, and I can feel the change in him. The shaking stops. His body becomes stone as he fixes me with a malicious glare. “What did you just say?”
Oh. My. Fucking. God… No! “I-I…”
“Who is he?” He seizes my face tight and gives me a small shake. “Who? Who the fuck is he?”
how i imagined shay for 89% of the book:
how i imagined james 100% of this book:
shay with mina:
anyways, i love this book lemme go fucking fuck up my life a lil more.
January 6, 2025
What is up with all the grown men in this book wanting a child 😃 I made the mistake of not reading what this was even about and only started it because of someone crying on TikTok lol. But, I didn’t like a single character in this, besides maybe Keenan. All of them were useless and just consistently being stupid. As soon as Shay was introduced I was begging for him to go away, he started off with bad vibes and I just knew I made a mistake starting this. James also, maybe control your demon of a son just a little bit!!!
Side note reading about the abuse/manipulation from a child’s point of view was actually painful, girl PLEASE wake up. Like I know that’s the point, but it was physically hurting me reading how oblivious she was being. No idea if I’m reading the second book, I can’t take any more of Shay.
I didn’t necessarily hate the book just the idea of it, but that’s my own fault, so 3.5 stars.
Side note reading about the abuse/manipulation from a child’s point of view was actually painful, girl PLEASE wake up. Like I know that’s the point, but it was physically hurting me reading how oblivious she was being. No idea if I’m reading the second book, I can’t take any more of Shay.
I didn’t necessarily hate the book just the idea of it, but that’s my own fault, so 3.5 stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 17, 2023
Torment is a brilliantly written novel that follows a blended family of deeply broken characters. Ms. Page is one seriously talented author and her characters leap off the page. I found myself deeply invested in them, and even thinking about them before going to sleep. And that alone, to me, is the mark of a great book, and author.
While I was completely absorbed in the first half, I must admit I struggled a bit with the second.
MMC, Shay, went from a morally grey character to an almost cartoonish villain with no redeeming qualities... while we spent the first half watching him care for Mina, dote on her and love her. Granted, in his broken, abusive and manipulative ways, it was still a "pure" and unconditional love, from a deeply troubled young man. A love she seemed to very much appreciate, be grateful for and... reciprocate? In my heart and mind, they were ill-fated soulmates, hence the tragedy. They were just unfortunate to be in these circumstances. In another life, their love would have been epic!
But alas, that is not how the story unfolds... By the second half, Shay is only referred to as a burden, and Mina's recollections seemed a bit revisionist. I thought that was a rather unfair assessment. What about all those sweet moments I read in the first half that made me fall for him and root for them?
From the synopsis, I had understood it was Shay and Mina's twisted (and ultimately tragic) love story... which I was prepared for. But by the second half, it became clear that it wasn't... And after spending half of the book empathizing with and growing to love this broken monster, he has now become an absolutely irredeemable villain and an abuser. The "steamy" moments between them reminded me of My Dark Vanessa, and I found myself uncomfortable reading them.
As for Keenan, my main issue was that too little time was given to develop his character and his story with Mina. He enters the book as an adult who is drawn to a child and inexplicably decides to invest great time and effort to pursue a platonic relationship with her. Yet we are constantly reminded that he is the "good one" and that his love is selfless. But I was already invested in Shay and Mina's story at this point, and I found myself unable to jump ship.
In spite of this, Torment was an absolutely captivating read, and the best romance/dark romance I read in a long while, and I would definitely recommend it to lovers of the genre.
While I was completely absorbed in the first half, I must admit I struggled a bit with the second.
MMC, Shay, went from a morally grey character to an almost cartoonish villain with no redeeming qualities... while we spent the first half watching him care for Mina, dote on her and love her. Granted, in his broken, abusive and manipulative ways, it was still a "pure" and unconditional love, from a deeply troubled young man. A love she seemed to very much appreciate, be grateful for and... reciprocate? In my heart and mind, they were ill-fated soulmates, hence the tragedy. They were just unfortunate to be in these circumstances. In another life, their love would have been epic!
But alas, that is not how the story unfolds... By the second half, Shay is only referred to as a burden, and Mina's recollections seemed a bit revisionist. I thought that was a rather unfair assessment. What about all those sweet moments I read in the first half that made me fall for him and root for them?
From the synopsis, I had understood it was Shay and Mina's twisted (and ultimately tragic) love story... which I was prepared for. But by the second half, it became clear that it wasn't... And after spending half of the book empathizing with and growing to love this broken monster, he has now become an absolutely irredeemable villain and an abuser. The "steamy" moments between them reminded me of My Dark Vanessa, and I found myself uncomfortable reading them.
As for Keenan, my main issue was that too little time was given to develop his character and his story with Mina. He enters the book as an adult who is drawn to a child and inexplicably decides to invest great time and effort to pursue a platonic relationship with her. Yet we are constantly reminded that he is the "good one" and that his love is selfless. But I was already invested in Shay and Mina's story at this point, and I found myself unable to jump ship.
In spite of this, Torment was an absolutely captivating read, and the best romance/dark romance I read in a long while, and I would definitely recommend it to lovers of the genre.
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