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You're the Only One I've Told: The Stories Behind Abortion
For a long time, when people asked Dr. Meera Shah what she did, she would tell them she was a doctor and leave it at that. But over the last few years, Shah decided it was time to be direct. “I’m an abortion provider,” she will now say. And an interesting thing started to happen each time she met someone new. One by one, people would confide—at BBQs, at jury duty, in the middle of the greeting card aisle at Target - that in fact they’d had an abortion themselves. And the refrain was often the same: 'YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I'VE TOLD'.
This audiobook collects those stories as they’ve been told to Shah to humanize abortion and to combat myths that persist in the discourse that surrounds it. An intentionally wide range of ages, races, socioeconomic factors and experiences, shows that abortion does not happen in isolation - it always occurs in a unique context. Today, a healthcare issue that’s so precious and foundational to reproductive, social, and economic freedom for millions of people is exploited by politicians who lack understanding or compassion about the context in which abortion occurs. Stories have power to break down stigmas and help us to empathize with those whose experiences are unlike our own. They can also help us find community and a shared sense of camaraderie over experiences just like ours. 'YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I'VE TOLD' will do both.
RUNNING TIME => 11hrs. and 48mins.
©2020 Merra Shah (P)2020 Tantor
This audiobook collects those stories as they’ve been told to Shah to humanize abortion and to combat myths that persist in the discourse that surrounds it. An intentionally wide range of ages, races, socioeconomic factors and experiences, shows that abortion does not happen in isolation - it always occurs in a unique context. Today, a healthcare issue that’s so precious and foundational to reproductive, social, and economic freedom for millions of people is exploited by politicians who lack understanding or compassion about the context in which abortion occurs. Stories have power to break down stigmas and help us to empathize with those whose experiences are unlike our own. They can also help us find community and a shared sense of camaraderie over experiences just like ours. 'YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I'VE TOLD' will do both.
RUNNING TIME => 11hrs. and 48mins.
©2020 Merra Shah (P)2020 Tantor
Audible Audio
First published September 1, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 916 reviews
January 27, 2021
1. men ain't shit
2. neither are america's healthcare and legal systems regarding women's reproductive rights
2. neither are america's healthcare and legal systems regarding women's reproductive rights
December 7, 2022
Review No government in the world tries to exert any form of control over men's bodies, no religious laws, nothing. Only women. For men, sex is pleasure and that's that. Any further responsibility is purely by choice. Opening your legs for money is illegal, the man between your legs paying you, well, good for him if he was getting it at home, he wouldn't need to resort to this. It's victim-blaming and the woman is always the victim. Governments and Churches owning women's wombs is wrong morally, we are all supposed to have freedom but what freedom can there be when we do not have autonomy over our own bodies.
In a civilized country not so caught up in fundamentalist religious practices as the US, like the UK, abortion is an elective medical procedure. If you are within the first 11 weeks (I think) you can merely send away for pills and in the privacy of your own home, without ever telling anyone if you don't want to, do your own abortion.
There is a Jewish group in Florida sueing the state for not allowing their religious practices which includes abortion right up to before delivery if the woman's life is threatened. Since Jews never agree on anything, 'threatened' is interpreted in all sorts of ways by all the different rabbis. This definition was, and is, in civilized countries, the medical standard for an abortion. The life a woman, who is living, takes precedence over an unborn child. How can anyone say a woman should bear a child and die in the process? That is a terrible tragedy for the child, born quite possibly an orphan.
Pro-Life is a great name but it isn't true, it's a lie. People who say they are pro-life are anti-abortion and couldn't care less if the mother dies in the process. That's hardly pro-life. Pro-choice is simply, it's your business, do with your body as you wish.
But I am neither pro-life nor pro-choice because I don't really take a stand on abortion per se, I take issue with governments and churches that think owning women is their right. It goes further than abortions, it is also contraception, men not paying for their children or being ordered to pay a minimal amount, it is having working conditions for men and not women (this has changed a bit with Covid and working at home). There are two sexes and both should have equal rights and the world should not revolve around one sex with the other, the one with generally the most responsibility for raising children, having to fit in with that world.
These laws only affect a very few people anyway. They don't affect the middle-class who can just go somewhere more liberal and get an abortion, or go to their family doctor with painful periods and get a D&C which is the same operation exactly as an abortion. It affects only the poor and those who can't travel.
This makes no economic sense. Poor people having more babies that they don't want and can't afford breeds more poverty, more reliance on social security benefits and housing and inevitably, in the inner cities, more growth in gangs and crime and a new generation of ill-educated, since they can't afford college, poor people. And so the cycle goes.
__________
Reading notes This book is so painfully woke: each story, each person, is introduced by their name then their pronouns. Of course, since people with uteruses (as the author calls us) and ciswomen are the overwhelming majority of "people who get pregnant", say to the order of only a handful of transmales a year (there is one in the book), it is considering only the feelings of that infintissimally small minority and ignoring the feelings of the overwhelming majority, women. It doesn't seem to be happening to men.
There are a lot of good points to the book. The author is adorable, I just know it, I could see how everyone confides their stories to her, she is so earnest, eager to please and help people and so open. I'm just not into the political stance espoused especially by 'progressives' and their counterparts on the right of demonising everyone who doesn't believe what they believe. I think most people are moderates, somewhere around the centre, but you wouldn't know it from the media or reading books.
__________
A while back I learned that for quotes and blurbs authors could write them themselves, or their publishing company, and send them to however they wanted to endorse it for approval. The first endorsement quoted by GR on the book description "Moving, multifaceted, and deeply human...as eye-opening as it is compelling." The book is rarely moving, very one-note and it ought to read as 'deeply human' but reads as a woke manifesto of the evils of opposing abortion.
__________
A couple of days ago I read Sorry For Your Loss: What Working with the Dead Taught Me About Life written by an author who works in a hospital mortuary and there was a lot of detail of the tiniest babies who died in the second trimester, tiny ones in the third trimester, babies who were stillborn, died shortly after birth and of cot-death. The grieving of the mothers was palpable. They had lost a child whose future extended beyond their own lives. Except it didn't. Now a book of women who chose abortions. Grief or relief? Or both.
In a civilized country not so caught up in fundamentalist religious practices as the US, like the UK, abortion is an elective medical procedure. If you are within the first 11 weeks (I think) you can merely send away for pills and in the privacy of your own home, without ever telling anyone if you don't want to, do your own abortion.
There is a Jewish group in Florida sueing the state for not allowing their religious practices which includes abortion right up to before delivery if the woman's life is threatened. Since Jews never agree on anything, 'threatened' is interpreted in all sorts of ways by all the different rabbis. This definition was, and is, in civilized countries, the medical standard for an abortion. The life a woman, who is living, takes precedence over an unborn child. How can anyone say a woman should bear a child and die in the process? That is a terrible tragedy for the child, born quite possibly an orphan.
Pro-Life is a great name but it isn't true, it's a lie. People who say they are pro-life are anti-abortion and couldn't care less if the mother dies in the process. That's hardly pro-life. Pro-choice is simply, it's your business, do with your body as you wish.
But I am neither pro-life nor pro-choice because I don't really take a stand on abortion per se, I take issue with governments and churches that think owning women is their right. It goes further than abortions, it is also contraception, men not paying for their children or being ordered to pay a minimal amount, it is having working conditions for men and not women (this has changed a bit with Covid and working at home). There are two sexes and both should have equal rights and the world should not revolve around one sex with the other, the one with generally the most responsibility for raising children, having to fit in with that world.
These laws only affect a very few people anyway. They don't affect the middle-class who can just go somewhere more liberal and get an abortion, or go to their family doctor with painful periods and get a D&C which is the same operation exactly as an abortion. It affects only the poor and those who can't travel.
This makes no economic sense. Poor people having more babies that they don't want and can't afford breeds more poverty, more reliance on social security benefits and housing and inevitably, in the inner cities, more growth in gangs and crime and a new generation of ill-educated, since they can't afford college, poor people. And so the cycle goes.
__________
Reading notes This book is so painfully woke: each story, each person, is introduced by their name then their pronouns. Of course, since people with uteruses (as the author calls us) and ciswomen are the overwhelming majority of "people who get pregnant", say to the order of only a handful of transmales a year (there is one in the book), it is considering only the feelings of that infintissimally small minority and ignoring the feelings of the overwhelming majority, women. It doesn't seem to be happening to men.
There are a lot of good points to the book. The author is adorable, I just know it, I could see how everyone confides their stories to her, she is so earnest, eager to please and help people and so open. I'm just not into the political stance espoused especially by 'progressives' and their counterparts on the right of demonising everyone who doesn't believe what they believe. I think most people are moderates, somewhere around the centre, but you wouldn't know it from the media or reading books.
__________
A while back I learned that for quotes and blurbs authors could write them themselves, or their publishing company, and send them to however they wanted to endorse it for approval. The first endorsement quoted by GR on the book description "Moving, multifaceted, and deeply human...as eye-opening as it is compelling." The book is rarely moving, very one-note and it ought to read as 'deeply human' but reads as a woke manifesto of the evils of opposing abortion.
__________
A couple of days ago I read Sorry For Your Loss: What Working with the Dead Taught Me About Life written by an author who works in a hospital mortuary and there was a lot of detail of the tiniest babies who died in the second trimester, tiny ones in the third trimester, babies who were stillborn, died shortly after birth and of cot-death. The grieving of the mothers was palpable. They had lost a child whose future extended beyond their own lives. Except it didn't. Now a book of women who chose abortions. Grief or relief? Or both.
January 31, 2021
I had an abortion last year and because there’s so much controversy in the United States over this, plus the disapproval of my religious in-laws, it brought so many emotions up for me to untangle and make sense of. Especially, when I’ve taken care to prevent a pregnancy for so many years, only to finally decide to get pregnant and the baby end up developing a fatale neural tube defect. It took me five months to process what happened, grieve, and reach a sense of closure. In the long run, I’m grateful I was able to get an abortion and given the chance to truly reflect on what I want in life because of it. I couldn’t have known for sure if I wanted a child before this.
I’m so glad this book ended up being published the same year because these stories and information helped normalize the abortion for me when I was struggling with the grief. There was even a story very close to my own within these pages that had me weeping in commiseration but in a good way. It helped me see that I’m not alone in this experience.
I didn’t necessarily need a “call to arms” in the fight for reproductive rights since I was already a supporter before. But I have to admit that experiencing an abortion has awakened a newfound fiery passion to not let anyone else make decisions for me or any other pregnant person. So, I really appreciated the resources and organizations in the back and the fact that this book exists.
For those of you who have had an abortion, but need to make sense of the experience I highly recommend reading “You’re the Only One I’ve Told” to gain some perspective. You’ll learn that you are not alone and part of a wide world of people who have had similar experiences. Your life and choices are valued. They are not worth less than those who have tried to restrict your medical care. You are not a walking talking birthing vessel with no rights as the opposition has reduced us all to. Your loss is always a difficult and painful decision and is valid.
And for those that haven’t, if you made it this far in my review, this is an important book to read in order to understand why many have had abortions. It’s not so simple as to assume it’s only for selfish reasons as many seem to think. You can’t possibly know how life is for others without asking questions and putting yourself in their shoes. I urge you to read this with an open mind, your judgement reserved, and some compassion and empathy.
I’m so glad this book ended up being published the same year because these stories and information helped normalize the abortion for me when I was struggling with the grief. There was even a story very close to my own within these pages that had me weeping in commiseration but in a good way. It helped me see that I’m not alone in this experience.
I didn’t necessarily need a “call to arms” in the fight for reproductive rights since I was already a supporter before. But I have to admit that experiencing an abortion has awakened a newfound fiery passion to not let anyone else make decisions for me or any other pregnant person. So, I really appreciated the resources and organizations in the back and the fact that this book exists.
For those of you who have had an abortion, but need to make sense of the experience I highly recommend reading “You’re the Only One I’ve Told” to gain some perspective. You’ll learn that you are not alone and part of a wide world of people who have had similar experiences. Your life and choices are valued. They are not worth less than those who have tried to restrict your medical care. You are not a walking talking birthing vessel with no rights as the opposition has reduced us all to. Your loss is always a difficult and painful decision and is valid.
And for those that haven’t, if you made it this far in my review, this is an important book to read in order to understand why many have had abortions. It’s not so simple as to assume it’s only for selfish reasons as many seem to think. You can’t possibly know how life is for others without asking questions and putting yourself in their shoes. I urge you to read this with an open mind, your judgement reserved, and some compassion and empathy.
June 11, 2023
This is a tough book to review! I love the idea of this book and wish more books like it existed, but the execution left me wanting a lot more. On one hand, books like this need to exist and abortion needs to be normalized. It's a common and vital part of reproductive healthcare for so many people, yet access to abortion has always been incredibly limited for many individuals, whether due to local laws, cost, availability, or biases, and that access has obviously been tremendously impacted recently by the overturning of Roe v. Wade.
You're the Only One I've Told has a lot of positives working in its favor. The author cares very much about her patients and abortion access, and it shines through in her writing. She also has a great deal of compassion for trans individuals working through the cis-normative spaces surrounding abortion, as well as BIPOC individuals who often have obstacles standing between themselves and the healthcare they need. Shah speaks frequently about both of these particular topics throughout the pages of the book, reiterating how important it is both for providers to challenge internal biases, as well as for everyday individuals to consider the ways we frame abortion discussions.
The problem is that You're the Only One I've Told quickly becomes a chore to read. Shah, while well-meaning and undoubtedly wonderful as a person and provider, is not an ideal writer and the text is extremely repetitive. A lot of bizarre choices are made in the style, primarily the fact that each chapter begins with a tiny snippet of a story, then interrupts itself with a long, rambling monologue about laws, access, biases, etc., only to finally return to the person's story and wrap things up. This method of writing makes it extremely difficult to follow each person's individual story, much less to connect to them.
(And please don't even get me started on the entire chapter dedicated to chastising pro-abortion activists for "not caring enough" about cis men's opinions on abortion.)
No matter how much I wanted to love this book, I can't give it more than 3 stars and don't necessarily recommend it. While I haven't found them yet, I'm convinced that there are probably better books like this out there (and I'm all ears if anyone has recommendations for me!).
✨ Representation: discussions of trans and BIPOC individuals; each person focused on in the book has pronouns stated during their introduction
✨ Content warnings for: mentions of anti-abortion protester violence, domestic abuse, healthcare shaming, transphobia, racism, misogyny, medical trauma
———
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You're the Only One I've Told has a lot of positives working in its favor. The author cares very much about her patients and abortion access, and it shines through in her writing. She also has a great deal of compassion for trans individuals working through the cis-normative spaces surrounding abortion, as well as BIPOC individuals who often have obstacles standing between themselves and the healthcare they need. Shah speaks frequently about both of these particular topics throughout the pages of the book, reiterating how important it is both for providers to challenge internal biases, as well as for everyday individuals to consider the ways we frame abortion discussions.
The problem is that You're the Only One I've Told quickly becomes a chore to read. Shah, while well-meaning and undoubtedly wonderful as a person and provider, is not an ideal writer and the text is extremely repetitive. A lot of bizarre choices are made in the style, primarily the fact that each chapter begins with a tiny snippet of a story, then interrupts itself with a long, rambling monologue about laws, access, biases, etc., only to finally return to the person's story and wrap things up. This method of writing makes it extremely difficult to follow each person's individual story, much less to connect to them.
(And please don't even get me started on the entire chapter dedicated to chastising pro-abortion activists for "not caring enough" about cis men's opinions on abortion.)
No matter how much I wanted to love this book, I can't give it more than 3 stars and don't necessarily recommend it. While I haven't found them yet, I'm convinced that there are probably better books like this out there (and I'm all ears if anyone has recommendations for me!).
✨ Representation: discussions of trans and BIPOC individuals; each person focused on in the book has pronouns stated during their introduction
✨ Content warnings for: mentions of anti-abortion protester violence, domestic abuse, healthcare shaming, transphobia, racism, misogyny, medical trauma
———
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March 18, 2025
I read this book after a friend recommended it to me. I actually never really cared about abortion passionately. It was just another political issue with a big divide in the middle, and though I was prolife, I was comfortable with having abortion access available. I remember being made to do a debate on the topic in middle school and being aghast when I learned about back-alley abortions. To me, it was a personal decision that was also a necessity for society to function. Then Roe v Wade fell, and everything changed.
Like I said, I’ve always been prolife - until 45. When he clarified he was anti-all humans who weren’t white men, I re-examined my stance and did a complete 180. I’d always believed abortion to be a religious and moral dilemma - even while taking two of my friends who honored me with their trust to take them to the clinics for their own and to care for them afterwards.
After 45, I did a lot of research to understand why he cared so much about abortion and now see he is an extreme misogynist (he probably would been an incel, had it not been for his money). After all that research, I’ve also concluded abortion is a tool for misogynists like him to control women's mobility, women's mortality, and women's freedom. On the flip side, it's a human health and social requirement. This book reinforced the position I’ve embraced since 45 was installed (will never ever agree that he was elected - either the first time or this time!).
This book was important to read because it says everything that no one talks about when abortion comes up. It makes clear that this is a human problem, that there are people who are making these decisions, and that these decisions are never done without grave consideration. These women deserve our compassion and our support. After reading this book, I promptly donated to every org she mentioned at the back of the book.
Like I said, I’ve always been prolife - until 45. When he clarified he was anti-all humans who weren’t white men, I re-examined my stance and did a complete 180. I’d always believed abortion to be a religious and moral dilemma - even while taking two of my friends who honored me with their trust to take them to the clinics for their own and to care for them afterwards.
After 45, I did a lot of research to understand why he cared so much about abortion and now see he is an extreme misogynist (he probably would been an incel, had it not been for his money). After all that research, I’ve also concluded abortion is a tool for misogynists like him to control women's mobility, women's mortality, and women's freedom. On the flip side, it's a human health and social requirement. This book reinforced the position I’ve embraced since 45 was installed (will never ever agree that he was elected - either the first time or this time!).
This book was important to read because it says everything that no one talks about when abortion comes up. It makes clear that this is a human problem, that there are people who are making these decisions, and that these decisions are never done without grave consideration. These women deserve our compassion and our support. After reading this book, I promptly donated to every org she mentioned at the back of the book.
January 24, 2021
I wish I could give this book ten stars, and I think it should be required reading for all Americans. The author does an AMAZING job of humanizing this topic by weaving together powerful stories from a variety of real people. Truly outstanding!
July 5, 2022
hearing and listening to people's abortion stories has always been important, but its importance has only increased in the face of recent events in america
we're now living in a political landscape whereby abortion, a healthcare issue, is being exploited by politicians in order to gain votes and cause further harm to already marginalised groups, so hearing real people's real stories has never been more essential. everyone should read this book, because abortion and reproductive health is not just a 'women's issue' - it is a healthcare issue relevant to everyone, no matter your identity.
"an abortion does not define someone; it is one event in a person's life"
we're now living in a political landscape whereby abortion, a healthcare issue, is being exploited by politicians in order to gain votes and cause further harm to already marginalised groups, so hearing real people's real stories has never been more essential. everyone should read this book, because abortion and reproductive health is not just a 'women's issue' - it is a healthcare issue relevant to everyone, no matter your identity.
"an abortion does not define someone; it is one event in a person's life"
November 2, 2024
3.0 ★
”We have no idea where someone is coming from or what has put them in the position to have an abortion.” 💙
This gave me more information about how abortion/healthcare works and how the government and people are against us. I live in a red state where abortion is considered evil and it is very taboo to talk about it. This showed how normal abortion should be.
Anyone who can biologically give birth should be able to have access to abortion/healthcare.
"It's not about being pro-choice, it's about being pro-truth." You never know what the person/woman/child went through. It could be rape, incest, they weren't educated on sex, or sometimes it is just an accident.
”Making abortion illegal and inaccessible doesn't make them stop. They will continue to happen.” It will lead to more danger to the women.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
”Planned Parenthood created an acronym model called FRIES to help clarify consent:
• Freely given. Doing something sexual with someone is a decision that should be made without pressure, force, manipulation, or while under the influence of substances.
• Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they want to do, at any time even if you've done it before or are in the middle of having sex.
• Informed. Be honest. For example, if someone says they'll use a condom and then they don't, that's not consent.
• Enthusiastic. If someone is coerced, isn't excited, or isn't really into it, that's not consent.
• Specific. Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn't mean they've said yes to others (like oral sex)”
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Short Synopsis
Every chapter is a different story on why a person got an abortion and how having healthcare is important.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
It is as important as ever to vote now💙.
”We have no idea where someone is coming from or what has put them in the position to have an abortion.” 💙
This gave me more information about how abortion/healthcare works and how the government and people are against us. I live in a red state where abortion is considered evil and it is very taboo to talk about it. This showed how normal abortion should be.
Anyone who can biologically give birth should be able to have access to abortion/healthcare.
"It's not about being pro-choice, it's about being pro-truth." You never know what the person/woman/child went through. It could be rape, incest, they weren't educated on sex, or sometimes it is just an accident.
”Making abortion illegal and inaccessible doesn't make them stop. They will continue to happen.” It will lead to more danger to the women.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
”Planned Parenthood created an acronym model called FRIES to help clarify consent:
• Freely given. Doing something sexual with someone is a decision that should be made without pressure, force, manipulation, or while under the influence of substances.
• Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they want to do, at any time even if you've done it before or are in the middle of having sex.
• Informed. Be honest. For example, if someone says they'll use a condom and then they don't, that's not consent.
• Enthusiastic. If someone is coerced, isn't excited, or isn't really into it, that's not consent.
• Specific. Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn't mean they've said yes to others (like oral sex)”
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Short Synopsis
Every chapter is a different story on why a person got an abortion and how having healthcare is important.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
It is as important as ever to vote now💙.
April 26, 2021
I was disappointed by this one. Shah is clearly an excellent and impassioned physician. Unfortunately, her writing style is clunky and repetitive, and I struggled to figure out the intended audience for this book. She needed help editing this book, which someone in my bookclub referred to as "the longest pamphlet I've ever read." I think it's worth reading for a nuanced, medically sound look at all sides of reproductive healthcare. And. I had to force myself to finish it.
August 12, 2020
An interesting and informative read about a controversial subject. No matter what side of the argument you are on, you will learn something new in this book. The personal stories are a needed addition to this topic. My only complaint is that the stories are often interrupted to explain a law or concept. By the time the author returns to the story, readers have lost some of the emotional connection to the person. However, this should not stop readers. The stories of women need to be heard.
May 27, 2021
I feel bad only giving this one three stars. The stories themselves were very compelling and important to read, but I didn’t connect with the writing style at all - I know the author is a doctor, not necessarily a writer first, but I feel like there had to be a less clunky way of weaving these stories together with background about laws or policies. As it is, I felt like I was being preached to on an issue I’m already fully on board with.
April 17, 2024
You're the Only One I've Told tells the story of 17 people who have gotten an abortion in the past. Everyone in this book has a unique view and story which is intended to humanize people who get abortions in a country that demonizes it so much. While it can sometimes get repetitive, this book does a wonderful job of telling these people's stories and explaining the challenges faced by people trying to get an abortion in America, whether that be parental consent, financial issues, or fake abortion clinics. We see women who want to keep their baby more than anything have to make the impossible decision to abort their baby for health reasons, girls in low income and/or religious families who weren’t taught proper sex education not even knowing they could get pregnant, and a range of others. A lot of the actual information was not new to me (being raised evangelical in the bible belt really means that once I start deconstructing in high school I did a ton of research and read a lottt of testimonials on stuff like this), but Dr. Shah does an incredible job invoking empathy and showing the broad range of people who get abortions and the reasons behind them.
This book was written before Roe v. Wade was overturned so some of the challenges are not mentioned, but brought up as future possibilities. For instance, my state has a ban on abortion after 6 weeks, but this book discusses that as if, even though people are trying to pass that, it would be near impossible to pass because of how unethical it is. That definitely was a bit depressing to read about as somehow, despite all of the struggles these people had to go through to get access to an abortion, it’s only getting worse and more inaccessible in America.
While the topic of this is important, the writing was way too repetitive for me to enjoy it or even find a ton of value in it.
This book was written before Roe v. Wade was overturned so some of the challenges are not mentioned, but brought up as future possibilities. For instance, my state has a ban on abortion after 6 weeks, but this book discusses that as if, even though people are trying to pass that, it would be near impossible to pass because of how unethical it is. That definitely was a bit depressing to read about as somehow, despite all of the struggles these people had to go through to get access to an abortion, it’s only getting worse and more inaccessible in America.
While the topic of this is important, the writing was way too repetitive for me to enjoy it or even find a ton of value in it.
July 27, 2021
This isn’t what I wanted it to be. It glossed over the true stories of actual patients and instead read like a rant trying to convince people about abortion care. While I understand the importance of the author’s point, I wanted a more personalized experience and I feel like this book lacked that.
August 2, 2020
This excellent and important book, written by Dr. Meera Shah, tells the stories of ordinary people who have made the choice to have an abortion. The stories span a wide variety of pregnancy situations (the pregnancy is the result of consensual sex but was unplanned; the pregnancy was planned but the fetus is not viable or is unlikely to survive after birth; the pregnancy is the result of rape), and the people seeking the abortions are diverse--cis, nonbinary, black, Jewish, Muslim, atheist, married, single, teenagers, middle aged people. In an information-packed and meticulously footnoted introducation, Shah describes what she sees as a practitioner who provides abortion care, and she explains how restrictive abortion laws and societal norms oppress the most marginalized in society and put even more barriers on people whose health outcomes are already adversely affected because of the social determinants of health.
Shah, a physician and abortion provider herself, is an excellent shepherd of these stories and their tellers--she writes with compassion and always centres the voice of the teller. Her writing is passionate, accessible, and engaging. She manages to touch on issues of lawmakers and politicians who traffic in misinformation and unscientific claims; anti-abortion organizations posing as fake health clinics that lie to pregnant people; deeply ingrained misogynist beliefs that promote shame and secrecy around pregnancy and abortion; transphobia that prevents trans men from being able to access dignified contraception, pregnancy, and abortion care.
The book is clearly written in an American context, so the discussions of laws and politics are very specific to the United States. However, the general topics--shame, judgment, lack of access, lack of respect from medical providers and medical systems--resonate even outside US borders. In Canada, where I live, abortion is not illegal, but there are politicians who regularly attempt to "reopen the abortion debate." Also, access is very dependent on where you live. Just like in the US, black and indigenous people and people of colour, as well as poor people, immigrants and refugees, and those who live outside of urban centres, are all less likely to be able to access an abortion in a safe and timely way. (For more information, see https://www.actioncanadashr.org/news/....)
I highlighted many quotations in this book but I'll just leave a few of the very best here:
"These stories show that people who have abortions are human beings with varied life experiences, just like everyone else. The decision to have an abortion doesn't always stem from trauma or turmoil either; sometimes it's easy and simple. One is not unique because they had an abortion. An abortion does not define someone, it is one event in a person's life." (p. 8)
"We live in a society where most desired pregnancies (and those assumed to be desired), especially within the context of white heterosexual marriage, are celebrated, but the common experiences of infertility, unintended pregnancy, miscarriage, and especially abortion, are kept secret." (p. 9)
"Believe it or not, everyone knows and loves someone who has had an abortion." (p. 14)
"Politicians who have said that abortion should be 'safe, legal and rare' are wrong about it being rare. Saying that abortion should be rare is dangerous and worsens stigma." (p. 28)
"One of the messaging points the antiabortion movement has held onto is that people regret their abortions. It's not uncommon to see protesters with signs that read YOU WILL REGRET YOUR ABORTION or I REGRET MY ABORTION. While some people may regret their abortion, the overwhelming majority do not...What I most commonly see is patients expressing situational regret. They regret the circumstances that led to the unintended pregnancy--not the abortion itself. And this is supported by research. The Turnaway Study was able to demonstrate that among the hundreds of women interviewed, almost none of them felt regret about their abortions five years later. There is also evidence to show that people are more certain about their abortion than they are about any other medical procedure they may undergo." (p. 165)
Thank you to Chicago Review Press for the advance review copy via Edelweiss+ in exchange for an honest review. This review also appears on my blog and on the Edelweiss+ site.
Shah, a physician and abortion provider herself, is an excellent shepherd of these stories and their tellers--she writes with compassion and always centres the voice of the teller. Her writing is passionate, accessible, and engaging. She manages to touch on issues of lawmakers and politicians who traffic in misinformation and unscientific claims; anti-abortion organizations posing as fake health clinics that lie to pregnant people; deeply ingrained misogynist beliefs that promote shame and secrecy around pregnancy and abortion; transphobia that prevents trans men from being able to access dignified contraception, pregnancy, and abortion care.
The book is clearly written in an American context, so the discussions of laws and politics are very specific to the United States. However, the general topics--shame, judgment, lack of access, lack of respect from medical providers and medical systems--resonate even outside US borders. In Canada, where I live, abortion is not illegal, but there are politicians who regularly attempt to "reopen the abortion debate." Also, access is very dependent on where you live. Just like in the US, black and indigenous people and people of colour, as well as poor people, immigrants and refugees, and those who live outside of urban centres, are all less likely to be able to access an abortion in a safe and timely way. (For more information, see https://www.actioncanadashr.org/news/....)
I highlighted many quotations in this book but I'll just leave a few of the very best here:
"These stories show that people who have abortions are human beings with varied life experiences, just like everyone else. The decision to have an abortion doesn't always stem from trauma or turmoil either; sometimes it's easy and simple. One is not unique because they had an abortion. An abortion does not define someone, it is one event in a person's life." (p. 8)
"We live in a society where most desired pregnancies (and those assumed to be desired), especially within the context of white heterosexual marriage, are celebrated, but the common experiences of infertility, unintended pregnancy, miscarriage, and especially abortion, are kept secret." (p. 9)
"Believe it or not, everyone knows and loves someone who has had an abortion." (p. 14)
"Politicians who have said that abortion should be 'safe, legal and rare' are wrong about it being rare. Saying that abortion should be rare is dangerous and worsens stigma." (p. 28)
"One of the messaging points the antiabortion movement has held onto is that people regret their abortions. It's not uncommon to see protesters with signs that read YOU WILL REGRET YOUR ABORTION or I REGRET MY ABORTION. While some people may regret their abortion, the overwhelming majority do not...What I most commonly see is patients expressing situational regret. They regret the circumstances that led to the unintended pregnancy--not the abortion itself. And this is supported by research. The Turnaway Study was able to demonstrate that among the hundreds of women interviewed, almost none of them felt regret about their abortions five years later. There is also evidence to show that people are more certain about their abortion than they are about any other medical procedure they may undergo." (p. 165)
Thank you to Chicago Review Press for the advance review copy via Edelweiss+ in exchange for an honest review. This review also appears on my blog and on the Edelweiss+ site.
December 22, 2024
This should be required reading for everyone in politics.
June 2, 2022
Abortions aren’t just about getting rid of a baby,” Gwen told me, now almost two years removed from the experience. “It’s about providing the best option that you can for a family.
So, I usually don't write long reviews but I felt like I would touch on this book. No matter where you stand politically, I think that this book is worth reading. I don't often voice my thoughts on GR about these kinds of things, but I figured with what's been going on that I should write a review.
This book brings into view the struggles of Women's Healthcare the struggle of trying to make the best decision for themselves and/or the unborn baby. Unlike other books of its kind, it also talks about how men struggle with abortion and non-binary people.
Many people have abortions because of religion, their health or the baby's, money, etc, but all of those people still have the right to have an abortion. Unfortunately, there are so many rules around abortion that it's extremely difficult to get one. The law has put so many rules in place to do an abortion procedure that is insensitive and cruel such as forcing to do an ultrasound and having a 24-hour waiting period.
Some states even have a rule that after so many weeks of being pregnant, they are no longer allowed to offer abortions. This doesn't seem like too big a rule but after reading one of the stories where at 8 months pregnant, they found out that the baby will be in pain for much of its life and not live very long outside the womb, so they decided the best idea was to have an abortion.
People have to travel all over the U.S. and sometimes into New Mexico to have abortions because of the different laws. If someone can't find a place to get an abortion, then they sometimes go for a self-inflicted abortion, which can harm the carrier a lot.
And worst of all, the information about abortions isn't even widely known. This is an extremely important topic that needs to be taught to people of all genders. Educating people on abortion and sex ed will save lives, in one way or another.
"You're the Only One I've Told" needs to be read by every individual.
Pointed out in the book was how it takes so much time to get through the abortion procedure even before have the actual abortion but for some reason, to buy a gun you simply need to walk in with money.
I could go on and on about so many more things, but I will end the review by saying that it's your body, so it's your choice. Other people shouldn't be deciding that for you.
Remember that banning abortions only bans safe abortions.
“It’s not about being pro-choice, it’s about being pro-truth.”
So, I usually don't write long reviews but I felt like I would touch on this book. No matter where you stand politically, I think that this book is worth reading. I don't often voice my thoughts on GR about these kinds of things, but I figured with what's been going on that I should write a review.
This book brings into view the struggles of Women's Healthcare the struggle of trying to make the best decision for themselves and/or the unborn baby. Unlike other books of its kind, it also talks about how men struggle with abortion and non-binary people.
Many people have abortions because of religion, their health or the baby's, money, etc, but all of those people still have the right to have an abortion. Unfortunately, there are so many rules around abortion that it's extremely difficult to get one. The law has put so many rules in place to do an abortion procedure that is insensitive and cruel such as forcing to do an ultrasound and having a 24-hour waiting period.
Some states even have a rule that after so many weeks of being pregnant, they are no longer allowed to offer abortions. This doesn't seem like too big a rule but after reading one of the stories where at 8 months pregnant, they found out that the baby will be in pain for much of its life and not live very long outside the womb, so they decided the best idea was to have an abortion.
People have to travel all over the U.S. and sometimes into New Mexico to have abortions because of the different laws. If someone can't find a place to get an abortion, then they sometimes go for a self-inflicted abortion, which can harm the carrier a lot.
And worst of all, the information about abortions isn't even widely known. This is an extremely important topic that needs to be taught to people of all genders. Educating people on abortion and sex ed will save lives, in one way or another.
"You're the Only One I've Told" needs to be read by every individual.
Pointed out in the book was how it takes so much time to get through the abortion procedure even before have the actual abortion but for some reason, to buy a gun you simply need to walk in with money.
I could go on and on about so many more things, but I will end the review by saying that it's your body, so it's your choice. Other people shouldn't be deciding that for you.
Remember that banning abortions only bans safe abortions.
“It’s not about being pro-choice, it’s about being pro-truth.”
March 19, 2023
The day I finished this book was the day that Wyoming made the abortion pill illegal. The state which refused to disenfranchise its women in order to join the US made the abortion pill illegal. Talk about spitting on your forerunners.
Dr Shah’s book is a profile of people – not all of whom are female – who had abortions. Some had abortions because they chose to, some because they needed to because of they way the fetus was developing. One profile is of a man who supported his wife.
What the book does is illustrate how needed abortion is as a medical procedure and how harmful the various ways the government, largely conservative, limits it are. Take for instance, the example in the book of an active service member who had to pay out of pocket for her abortion, needed because the baby when born would not live the long and would be in extreme pain. Governmental laws forbid the covering of her abortion.
Shah addresses the factors of poverty and maternal health. She notes and provides source for the facts that focus on the cost, the truth that abortion is far less dangerous than pregnancy, that men assume little responsibility for reproductive act in part because society in the form of medicine and sex ed gives them a free pass.
Dr Shah’s book is a profile of people – not all of whom are female – who had abortions. Some had abortions because they chose to, some because they needed to because of they way the fetus was developing. One profile is of a man who supported his wife.
What the book does is illustrate how needed abortion is as a medical procedure and how harmful the various ways the government, largely conservative, limits it are. Take for instance, the example in the book of an active service member who had to pay out of pocket for her abortion, needed because the baby when born would not live the long and would be in extreme pain. Governmental laws forbid the covering of her abortion.
Shah addresses the factors of poverty and maternal health. She notes and provides source for the facts that focus on the cost, the truth that abortion is far less dangerous than pregnancy, that men assume little responsibility for reproductive act in part because society in the form of medicine and sex ed gives them a free pass.
October 29, 2020
READ. THIS. BOOK. Better yet, buy it since a portion of the proceeds will be donated to promote reproductive health access.
I took four pages of notes with abortion/reproductive health statistics, reaction towards the 17 stories Dr. Shah told, and maddening thoughts about other’s views on abortion.
MY TOP NOTES:
•¼ women in the U.S. has had an abortion
◦61% getting abortions are aged 20-29
•Abortion safety rating: 99% (safer than carrying a pregnancy to term)
•There are many accommodations around abortion care that you may not think of: child care, insurance/Medicaid, taking time off of work, transportation to appointment(s), resources (counseling, abortion funds)
•Reproductive rights are not synonymous with women’s rights
•Black women are 3-4 times more likely to diet from childbirth than a while woman
•Having pronouns in your email signature is “like a little wave that says they’ll be open”
•Abortion does not equal ending a pregnancy, but preventing a life of pain
•There are ~4,000 fake clinics to 780 real providers of abortion care
QUESTIONS TO THINK ABOUT:
•What responsibility do men have?
•When does personhood begin?
I took four pages of notes with abortion/reproductive health statistics, reaction towards the 17 stories Dr. Shah told, and maddening thoughts about other’s views on abortion.
MY TOP NOTES:
•¼ women in the U.S. has had an abortion
◦61% getting abortions are aged 20-29
•Abortion safety rating: 99% (safer than carrying a pregnancy to term)
•There are many accommodations around abortion care that you may not think of: child care, insurance/Medicaid, taking time off of work, transportation to appointment(s), resources (counseling, abortion funds)
•Reproductive rights are not synonymous with women’s rights
•Black women are 3-4 times more likely to diet from childbirth than a while woman
•Having pronouns in your email signature is “like a little wave that says they’ll be open”
•Abortion does not equal ending a pregnancy, but preventing a life of pain
•There are ~4,000 fake clinics to 780 real providers of abortion care
QUESTIONS TO THINK ABOUT:
•What responsibility do men have?
•When does personhood begin?
September 13, 2020
I fell in love with the humans and their stories. I feel like this should be required reading in school. It’s compassion training 101 and important right now more than ever.
July 19, 2023
Let me start by saying that I think this book, writing-wise, is more of a three star (at best). The book is written by an American physician, which shows. The book is told in the format of short stories about different people who have had abortions. Within these chapters she switches to relevant information. Most of the times these switches are not subtle or nicely done and I have to say it gave me whiplash to go from a very emotional story to a textbook, back to an emotional story, back to textbook, and so on. The short stories themselves also had a weird structure, not really chronological, sort of interview-like, just all over the place. The last thing I’ll say about the writing is that I think it could have been edited better. The amount of times things get repeated is ridiculous and I can’t imagine that was the authors intent (we get it, minorities and low income people are the most vulnerable groups, you don’t HAVE to say it every other page). Not only was the book repetitive in that way, I also found myself wanting to stop the book after 60% bc I kind of felt like I had enough of the repetitive structure in each chapter. I did not really feel the need to read EVERY single story. I’m happy I did read every story in the end, it just took me a bit longer.
I did give the book 4 stars, because I think it is an important book and a good step towards breaking stigmas surrounding abortion. I learned a lot (and I would say I was already pretty informed and de-stigmatized before picking up this book). I wish I had known the book was so USA-based (with a lot of focus on different ethnicities within the USA). I think that also kind of turned me off the book, but I completely understand why it is so single-focused on the USA. The author is a physician there and it is a country that is experiencing a huge problem with abortions, which this book does succesfully show. Definitely recommend this book, even if you have to push through at times.
I did give the book 4 stars, because I think it is an important book and a good step towards breaking stigmas surrounding abortion. I learned a lot (and I would say I was already pretty informed and de-stigmatized before picking up this book). I wish I had known the book was so USA-based (with a lot of focus on different ethnicities within the USA). I think that also kind of turned me off the book, but I completely understand why it is so single-focused on the USA. The author is a physician there and it is a country that is experiencing a huge problem with abortions, which this book does succesfully show. Definitely recommend this book, even if you have to push through at times.
March 14, 2025
required! reading!
the mix of personal stories with sooo many diverse perspectives, policy info, & data was incredible & created such a thorough, complete, informative picture of the state of reproductive healthcare in the us
i loved that this book was very intentionally intersectional as well, always looking at the greater systems in place & their impact on the individuals sharing their experiences
the resources at the end were also super helpful in pointing to next steps to learn more & ACT
it’s bleak out here but knowledge is power, time to read & join the fight
the mix of personal stories with sooo many diverse perspectives, policy info, & data was incredible & created such a thorough, complete, informative picture of the state of reproductive healthcare in the us
i loved that this book was very intentionally intersectional as well, always looking at the greater systems in place & their impact on the individuals sharing their experiences
the resources at the end were also super helpful in pointing to next steps to learn more & ACT
it’s bleak out here but knowledge is power, time to read & join the fight
April 21, 2022
5/5⭐
''At a time where reproductive rights are at risk, these vital stories of diverse individuals serve as a reminder of the importance of empathy, finding community and motivating advocacy"-
I do not care on what your beliefs are on abortion, you still should most def read this.
I educated myself lots from this book and the book said some thing mainly on how abortion does not equal ending pregnancy, but it does prevent a lifestyles of ache.
The testimonies of the people that went through this I loved it.
''Not every positive pregnancy test is a celebration''!
I still need to know where the men plays a role in the abortion process?
''At a time where reproductive rights are at risk, these vital stories of diverse individuals serve as a reminder of the importance of empathy, finding community and motivating advocacy"-
I do not care on what your beliefs are on abortion, you still should most def read this.
I educated myself lots from this book and the book said some thing mainly on how abortion does not equal ending pregnancy, but it does prevent a lifestyles of ache.
The testimonies of the people that went through this I loved it.
''Not every positive pregnancy test is a celebration''!
I still need to know where the men plays a role in the abortion process?
December 31, 2023
I really wanted to love this book, but it’s just so poorly written. The information and stories are so valuable, but Meera Shah desperately needed an editor or co-writer (ideally both). The organization is confusing and there are several very blatant typos.
I was also very disappointed that she tried to paint abortion as not a women’s rights issue. I understand the need to be inclusive and that not all females identify as women, but I think this could’ve easily been addressed respectfully in the introduction. It mentions 99% of abortions are gotten by cisgender women and then goes onto to call pregnant women “people with uteruses” and other borderline dehumanizing language like that. I think avoiding calling abortion a women’s issue waters down our language and diverts focus from the root of the struggle here: patriarchy and its subjugation of women.
I’m sure Dr. Shah is an excellent practitioner and I really appreciate what she tried to do here, I just really wish the delivery had been much better.
I was also very disappointed that she tried to paint abortion as not a women’s rights issue. I understand the need to be inclusive and that not all females identify as women, but I think this could’ve easily been addressed respectfully in the introduction. It mentions 99% of abortions are gotten by cisgender women and then goes onto to call pregnant women “people with uteruses” and other borderline dehumanizing language like that. I think avoiding calling abortion a women’s issue waters down our language and diverts focus from the root of the struggle here: patriarchy and its subjugation of women.
I’m sure Dr. Shah is an excellent practitioner and I really appreciate what she tried to do here, I just really wish the delivery had been much better.
April 11, 2021
Without a doubt, one of the BEST books I’ve read in a long time. This should be required reading for everyone who works in healthcare or anyone who believes women’s rights to abortion should be restricted. It REALLY humanizes the variety of reasons women find themselves seeking abortion, sheds light on the rare “late term abortions,” and exposes so so many issues with abortion care in the US - some of which were even new to me as a physician.
Cannot recommend this highly enough.
Cannot recommend this highly enough.
May 29, 2022
4 1/2 stars. I think of myself as fairly educated and well-informed on issues surrounding abortion. Spoiler- I was not! But these stories are mind blowing, and especially infuriating given the possible Supreme Court Roe v.Wade reversal. First, read this book. Second, find a way to make your voice heard if you also feel that abortion is health care. Reproductive justice for all.
September 15, 2022
4.5 stars, really close to 5. Probably hitting a little different since we're now in a post-overturned Roe v Wade world.
So many thoughts here. I highlighted tons of quotes and wrote so many notes beside them. I think the main underlying feelings were anger, frustration and resignation.
The intro was super long but it was important to set up the context for people who are not in healthcare or are not abortion providers. I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that it is not only common to purposely spread misinformation or misrepresent places as "clinics" when they are not (and intentionally place them near real clinics), but that it can be mandated to provide misinformation to patients at real healthcare centres due to the state rules being made by conservative governments. Especially in such a litigious society as the US, the only explanation I have for this being allowed in healthcare is that lawmakers don't care about women or women's rights - it must not even be seen as healthcare at this point.
Other interesting pearls include how there is the assumption of two outcomes from abortion - either devastation or transformation instead of seeing it as a thing that happens and is allowed to happen again (even in healthcare, there is a prevalent idea that one abortion is ok, but that you really have to encourage birth control to prevent it from happening again). I was also ignorant to the fact that we are trained to see the Catholic opinion as the only religious opinion on abortion rights.
As an abortion provider, I learned a lot from this book and it will change my patient counselling in a few ways based on the stories that were shared in this book. Highly recommend for anyone in primary care.
So many thoughts here. I highlighted tons of quotes and wrote so many notes beside them. I think the main underlying feelings were anger, frustration and resignation.
The intro was super long but it was important to set up the context for people who are not in healthcare or are not abortion providers. I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that it is not only common to purposely spread misinformation or misrepresent places as "clinics" when they are not (and intentionally place them near real clinics), but that it can be mandated to provide misinformation to patients at real healthcare centres due to the state rules being made by conservative governments. Especially in such a litigious society as the US, the only explanation I have for this being allowed in healthcare is that lawmakers don't care about women or women's rights - it must not even be seen as healthcare at this point.
Other interesting pearls include how there is the assumption of two outcomes from abortion - either devastation or transformation instead of seeing it as a thing that happens and is allowed to happen again (even in healthcare, there is a prevalent idea that one abortion is ok, but that you really have to encourage birth control to prevent it from happening again). I was also ignorant to the fact that we are trained to see the Catholic opinion as the only religious opinion on abortion rights.
As an abortion provider, I learned a lot from this book and it will change my patient counselling in a few ways based on the stories that were shared in this book. Highly recommend for anyone in primary care.
November 4, 2024
Incredibly powerful and important - I would recommend this book to every person in my life. With each chapter devoted to sharing a different individual’s story, Dr. Shah really humanizes the topic of abortion and sheds a light on the vast amount of situations that can surround a pregnancy. Her writing is thoughtful and sincere as she shares diverse and complex stories, while weaving in her own experiences as a physician and abortion provider. I felt such a wide range of emotions reading this book - but it truly reiterates just how essential access to reproductive healthcare is in society.
There were so many important quotes and takeaways from this book, I figured I would include a few here:
“Telling stories about abortion is an important part of acceptance of the breadth and diversity of human experience.”
“One in four women in America has an abortion in her lifetime…Abortion is very common. Not understanding how common it is has contributed to the belief that it is shameful and rare.”
“The obsession with banning abortion and restricting access to it has become a political tool that disregards people’s health, as well as the realities of science.”
“Politicians have taken access away from people of color, people who cannot afford to lose work, and those who face consequences including parental retaliation and abuse. They have manipulated the complex emotions people have about life and personhood while fearing bodily autonomy to make abortion a polarizing tool to gain and hold onto political power.”
There were so many important quotes and takeaways from this book, I figured I would include a few here:
“Telling stories about abortion is an important part of acceptance of the breadth and diversity of human experience.”
“One in four women in America has an abortion in her lifetime…Abortion is very common. Not understanding how common it is has contributed to the belief that it is shameful and rare.”
“The obsession with banning abortion and restricting access to it has become a political tool that disregards people’s health, as well as the realities of science.”
“Politicians have taken access away from people of color, people who cannot afford to lose work, and those who face consequences including parental retaliation and abuse. They have manipulated the complex emotions people have about life and personhood while fearing bodily autonomy to make abortion a polarizing tool to gain and hold onto political power.”
February 19, 2025
This was good, and important especially amid the absolute baseless hostility toward abortion in the United States’ post-Roe era. I think normalizing abortion doesn’t just mean talking about it to remove the stigma associated with it, but also to portray its normalcy, almost mundanity, in many cases. It’s not a big, dramatic experience. It’s a medical procedure pursued for various reasons. This book captures that reality well.
My main gripe is with the delivery sometimes. Chapters (broken up into case studies/individual stories) sometimes suddenly pivot to another unrelated person’s account, or discuss the legal nuances of the era for a few paragraphs, or bring in the author’s own experiences. It’s good information - but the delivery can be choppy. I’d prefer it have been laid out differently: a longer introduction, backgrounder (where other cases/laws can be discussed), the author’s own positionality statement, and then the personal stories. I’d also have laid them out across a legal timeline: pre-Roe, post-Roe and pre-Hyde, post-Roe and post-Hyde.
Other gripe is with the emphasis on certain types of representation: namely, the one chapter on the importance of male opinions/involvement… listen, I get it from the activist’s side - we need more leftist, progressive men supporting women’s bodily autonomy now more than ever - but let’s not forget that these are the oppressors of this issue. The president, the governors, the Senate, the House. I won’t ever acknowledge the importance of male opinion on this issue when that’s the reality that runs dominant in my mind.
My main gripe is with the delivery sometimes. Chapters (broken up into case studies/individual stories) sometimes suddenly pivot to another unrelated person’s account, or discuss the legal nuances of the era for a few paragraphs, or bring in the author’s own experiences. It’s good information - but the delivery can be choppy. I’d prefer it have been laid out differently: a longer introduction, backgrounder (where other cases/laws can be discussed), the author’s own positionality statement, and then the personal stories. I’d also have laid them out across a legal timeline: pre-Roe, post-Roe and pre-Hyde, post-Roe and post-Hyde.
Other gripe is with the emphasis on certain types of representation: namely, the one chapter on the importance of male opinions/involvement… listen, I get it from the activist’s side - we need more leftist, progressive men supporting women’s bodily autonomy now more than ever - but let’s not forget that these are the oppressors of this issue. The president, the governors, the Senate, the House. I won’t ever acknowledge the importance of male opinion on this issue when that’s the reality that runs dominant in my mind.
July 29, 2022
Wow. What an important and powerful book. Everyone should read this. I feel even more upset, angry and sad regarding the overturning of Roe v Wade after reading this. Even prior to Roe v Wade being overturned, we did not have easy access for women to receive appropriate healthcare and abortion services. I’m so sad and scared for women who will be unable to travel or afford the cost of abortion. Abortions will always happen. This book sheds a light on many different situations and stories of women in different walks of life who all have 1 thing in common.
December 26, 2024
4.5 stars only because some of the transitions between the patient stories had me a little lost at times.
I think everyone should read this book whether you’re pro-choice or not. If you work in reproductive health encountering different people in different paths of life, even more so. You’re at the forefront of the care being provided. You’re responsible for providing evidence-based care to patients regardless of your own beliefs.
I think everyone should read this book whether you’re pro-choice or not. If you work in reproductive health encountering different people in different paths of life, even more so. You’re at the forefront of the care being provided. You’re responsible for providing evidence-based care to patients regardless of your own beliefs.
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