When We Were Young

by Richard Roper

From the author of Something to Live For , a nostalgic, heart-warming story of two long-lost friends who embark on a 184-mile walk of the Thames Path in order to find their way back to the truth, and to their friendship.

How do you move forward…when all you want to do is go back?

Joel and Theo haven’t spoken since the summer they turned sixteen, but that’s about to change.

From the outside Joel looks like the picture of a TV scriptwriter with a smash hit who’s still together and in love with his teenage sweetheart, Amber. But he's falling apart at the seams. He's headed home to reconnect with best friend Theo--to get back to the start of it all.

Theo has been living in his parents' shed, nursing a broken heart and a wounded ego, convinced life can't get any worse. Then he gets evicted on his 30th birthday. He thinks he's done with the real world - until it shows up on his doorstep...

One of them is keeping a secret, and the other is living a lie. But can the promise they once made to walk all 184 miles of the Thames Path help them find their way back to the truth--and to their friendship?

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Friendship, Adult, Audiobook, Book Club, Adult Fiction

352 pages, Hardcover

First published July 20, 2021

Reviews

[Larry H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is there anything quite like an old friend? See what you think after reading Richard Roper's new novel, When We Were Young .

Another late night getting surprisingly emotional over a book…this was another good one!!

Joel and Theo were childhood best friends who dreamed of being comedy writers. They haven’t spoken since one fateful night when they were 16.

Now, Joel is the writer of a hit television series and is still dating his high school girlfriend. Theo, on the other hand, is about to get evicted from his parents’ garden shed, where he’s been living for the last two years. He’s still reeling from a breakup and some career disappointments.

Joel shows up unexpectedly on Theo’s 30th birthday to remind him that they once made a pact to hike all 184 miles of the Thames Pass when they turned 30. Even though the last thing Theo wants us to spend an extended amount of time with his former best friend, Joel extends a carrot that’s too good to resist, and besides, what else is Theo doing?

While they make a promise not to rehash the past, of course, they can’t escape it. But there are things they don’t want to tell one another—things that could have changed the last 14 years and things that could impact the future.

As I’ve said before, I love books about old friendships and coming to terms with the past. When We Were Young snuck up on me and surprised me, and I really cared about these characters. It’s a beautifully written and emotional story, one that I’ll think of the next time I consider reaching out to an old friend.

Check out my list of the best books I read in 2020 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2021/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2020.html.

See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.

Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.

[ScrappyMags · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 3: Friendship in words.

⏰ 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫: Theo and Joel have a long history, all the way back to high school where they promised one day to hike the Thames Path together. But then they never spoke… until now at age 30. Joel seems the epitome of success while Theo is its antithesis. But Joel is hiding a secret - the reason he truly wants to spend time with Theo. Can a simple trip mend the damaged fences of friendship?

💡𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬: This is the book more people should be talking about. How is NOONE talking about this? Let’s talk about this!

So many feels with this book - mostly because of the intense and accurate depths of Theo and Joel’s friendship - secrets from long ago well up, animosities are voiced, yet that same laughter and camaraderie from days gone by is there. It reminds me of long lost friendships of my own…

The character development of the two is the magic of this novel with themes of how friendship ends and renews along with the pain that friendship sometimes encompasses.

Take the journey with Theo and Joel.

𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 𝗮𝘃𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆𝗠𝗮𝗴𝘀.𝗰𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.

📚𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Contemporary Fiction

😍𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨: Anyone looking to FEEL a book right now.

🙅‍♀️ 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨: Some themes of abuse, but nothing too jarring, but that might turn a reader away.

Thank you to the author, NetGalley and G.P. Putnam’s Sons for my advanced copy in exchange for my always-honest review and for making me hug my bestie of 30 yrs.

[Katie H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow 😭 an unexpected tearjerker that I liked more than I initially thought I would. I was hooked after a few short chapters, eager to know what would happen in the end. In this book, Richard Roper beautifully puts into words how precious life is. Thank you to PRH for the advanced reader’s e-copy! I can’t recommend this book enough to anyone looking for a lively, funny story about friendship.

[Kim · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was ok up to a point. Seemed like a nice dramatic story about a rekindling of friendship. But then no. We find out not only is Joel just a jerk,but for some reason after his girlfriend runs over the sister of his best friend paralyzing her for life he decides to take the blame to “save his girlfriends career” so her career means more than the sister of your best friend? Wtf dude. And you let this boy and his family think that for years. On top of that he stays with the girl and wants to marry her? After she drove a car into his best friends sister and let him take the blame for it. Happily living her life in the limelight while he suffered.

Then we get to the major plot point where Theo decides to give Joel a part of his lover. Ok fine. But why would the author decide to kill the only nice guy in the story? Joel should have been the one to go. Now Joel has hurt this family twice for his own selfishness. Once when he just dismissed the accident with poor Alice who is in a wheelchair for life and could have died, and now after he survives the operation but Theo dies.

What a ridiculous story. So Joel goes on with his assailant girlfriend while poor Theo is dead.

[Krista · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I started this book, I was really enjoying it. I love the banter between Theo and his sister, and how sweet of a family the Hearns are. I liked that the author chose to write about a friendship between two men and the odyssey that they embark on together. However, I wish that they had completed the journey on the Thames Path instead going off in a completely different direction in the second half of the book. Instead, there is a lot of frustrating miscommunication that had me letting out many exasperated sighs. And, as we get to know the characters, I wound up absolutely hating Joel. I know that the root of his issues are not his fault, but his response to them certainly are. Despite the fact the book is well written, with good character development, and an interesting story (should be at least a 4 or 5 star rating right?), the clincher for me to drop down to two stars is the ending. I hated the ending so much. I hated it so much that I honestly can't recommend this book, no matter how well written it is. (And she lets out one more exasperated sigh...)

[Charlotte (char.lottereads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This world's a funny old place. You, me, everyone - we're told when we're kids how our lives are supposed to go. Get a good job. Buy a house. Get married. Have kids. Settle down.. But there isn't really a plan after that, is there? You don't plan for falling out of love with the person you marry. Or your kids hatting you. Or your job going to shit.

Rating: 4.5/5

Oh my heart, after this book, it solidify my want to read more literary reads. The hearts put into them are rawer in a way that's more gut-wrenching. This is my first literary read in a while. Not gonna lie I found it hard to get into at first, the mundane reciting of what happened put me off a little but I realised towards the end this book is and should be a slow read, with everlasting effect. The slow consuming of pages in the beginning built character. It made you understand them in the mundane ways.

It has been a wonderful experience of sobbing my heart out. I didn't even consiously realised I was crying until i started full-out sobbing and my tears smeared the pages. Oh that ending, I hated it yet I understood it. It's life.

Towards the middle, I thought that this book would have an even greater impact on adults in their 30s. The age where you probably have a few big regrets in your life caused by sheer dumbness but seemed a little too hard to take back. But towards the end, I realised this book serves a different purpose for different age groups. For a teenager like me who don't have any life-long regrets and still trying very hard to not be bitter. This book reminded me to always try my best to communicate with the people who I care and cares about me. To try to be open even if it hurts, even if it's too raw, too painful, too messy. We need to be willing to be vulnerable.

This book is about characters who are human like us. With messed up parts that leads to tragedy who aren't over-dramatised but just as horrific. Or even more so because this is us. 'when we were young' made me cry in a good way though it was sad. It reminded me of the complexity of love and humanity. It was one of the most soul-touching reads in a while. This book most definitely have-my-heart.

[Jane Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great story - emotions including tears and laughter throughout. The use of flashbacks allow a slow reveal of the answers to all the questions that you have as you get to know the two voices of the story (Joel and Theo), where they are now and how they both got there. Normally this type of story is about the friendship of two female characters so this made a refreshing change. There are unexpected twists so I won't give any spoilers but I would have read in one sitting had it not been that I had the opportunity to read it as a three part, three week readalong for an honest review. A great story.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

No, no, no!!! Ever finish a book and want to throw it across the room?!?! That is this book. Thank you, Mr. Roper, for completely wrecking me.

I truly did enjoy this book though for many reasons, first and foremost being that I love sensitive and emotional male characters. I just recently read "The River" which is also a male friendship story and Roper's "When We Were Young" was far more successful in my opinion. Having four male children, I've come to realize that male bonding and friendship is often so different than that of females, which can likely be chalked up to societal expectations. So when males show that vulnerable side of themselves in novels, I just love it. This is a story filled with growth, vulnerability, some coming of age vibes told through flashback, and some pretty darn good life lessons.
Theo and Joel, best friends since about 14 years old, have a falling out over a catastrophic event. They haven't spoken in many years, but they have never forgotten or stopped thinking about each other. Until one day, for a very specific reason, Joel shows up on Theo's doorstep and reminds him of the long ago pact they made to one day walk the length of the Thames Path together. Begrudgingly, Theo agrees.
This is a novel filled with finding that still point, in a world otherwise filled with commotion. It is a novel of male friendship, navigating young love, learning from mistakes, letting go of resentments, learning how to forgive, and moving forward when all odds seem stacked against you. It asks questions such as what it means to be self sacrificing and whether or not it is ever too late to turn things/your life around (in relationships, job, etc) and what it means to start over.
Loss of a star because I felt there were some co-dependency issues in this novel between Joel and his girlfriend which were never dealt with or even addressed. There were co-dependency issues between Theo and Joel as well, but Theo grew a lot as a character so that was less problematic. Overall, this is a really good novel filled with memorable characters.

[Di Richardson · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one just wasn’t for me. I am not a fan of the star crossed lovers thing…where things could easily be cleared up if people would just talk and say what they mean. I can’t stand it when people beat around the bush in real life, and so I am not a fan of it in literature either. And that is what this book was all about…but instead of lovers, it was boyhood friends. The book is also touted as the two of them walking the Thames Trail to try to sort things out . I had never heard of the Thames Trail, a real trail that apparently runs 184 miles along the River. I was expecting a lot more description of that Trail, and what it would be like to make that hike than I actually got.

[Stephen Gallup · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hastened to get my hands on this book after being thoroughly impressed with How Not to Die Alone . Of the two, this is perhaps not as good, although it did sweep me up in the final third.

It's a story with two main characters, Joel and Theo, both of whom knew (or at least hoped) when they were best friends in school that they were destined for careers in the entertainment industry. Time has passed and they're now entering middle age. (They're still young from where I sit.) As far as Theo can tell, Joel is fantastically successful writing teleplays. He's also paired off with the highly desirable Amber Crossley, another former schoolmate, who has become a prominent actress. But Theo doesn't have the full story. What he does know is that his own trajectory in life has been a crushing disappointment, largely because of his emotional response to certain past events.

As the story opens, Theo no longer wants to face the world. He's been living with his parents and invalid sister in the small town where they all grew up. Joel returns with the idea of mending their broken friendship, proposing that they should make good on a boyhood pledge to walk the entire length of the Thames River Path, from the headwaters all the way to London, some 185 miles. Theo is less than enthusiastic, but he has nothing better to do, and Joel tempts him with an offer to co-write a new TV series along the way.

I wonder how this idea might have been handled by those great 20th-century writers who pioneered techniques of using multiple narrators—Virginia Woolf, for example, or William Faulkner. The reason I wonder is that it was very hard to discern any difference in the ways these two guys see and process reality. (Not surprisingly, Joel's life is as troubled as Theo's.) The chapters alternate, presenting first from Joel's perspective and then from Theo's, and sometimes without the chapter headings I wouldn't have known which of them was narrating. There is also a considerable amount of switching between their current situation and their shared backstory, so  the effect is an almost mechanical hopping about in four squares: present-day Joel – younger Joel – present-day Theo – younger Theo. It works, but it felt too much like a repeating pattern.


As noted above, things improve toward the end. There is drama, worthwhile insight into human nature, and a sense of realizing that people have more depth than was previously suspected. I might enjoy this more on a second reading, and I wouldn't mind doing just that.

Also, as an aside, if I ever get back over to England, I think it would be fun to try out that Thames path in person.

[Barbara Osmec · Rating 3 out of 5]

Format: 📚
Even though I've finished this book yesterday, it's still hard to gather my impressions into one decent review. I'll start with things I liked: relatively short chapters, good humor, the story told from the perspective of both characters, dealing with serious topics (alcoholism, serious illness, domestic violence), jumping from past to present and vice versa. The story is easy to go through and it triggers different emotions (sadness, anger). However, I didn't like the problem solving and decision making strategies of both characters and it made me so angry. This whole mess could have been avoided if they actually TALKED to one another or their families. I know that this is hard to expect from teenagers but they were 30 years old throughout most of the book. And the conclusion at the end: From now on when things get hard, let's just talk to each other. Seriously? Friends should be by your side even when it's hard? No kidding! avoiding contact, presuming you know how other person feels or what he/she thinks, keeping secrets from your friends aren't very good strategies - mind blowing ideas! Argh, even now I'm angry but if this book helps others to understand the idea of friendship (and life) better - so be it!

[Kendall Reed · Rating 4 out of 5]

the only reason this wasn’t five stars was because the flashbacks were a bit too long and pointless sometimes and the ending was really predictable BUT it was so well written like so good such a good message loved it

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Look for my review in Booklist!

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about the two main characters, Theo and Joel, who just turned thirty but lived wildly different lives. When they were kids, they promised each other that when they turned thirty, whatever they were doing, they would meet up and walk the Thames Path from Kemble, where they live, to London. When Joel turns up on Theo's doorstep, Theo isn't having it because of something that happened between them in their past. The book is about exploring this male friendship and the journey they go on. It's about whether they can right past wrongs. It's a big journey into nostalgia at its heart.

This book is told from two alternating viewpoints of two very different men and moves back and forth quickly with short chapters. Most dual perspectives I've read aren't in the same scene. But the author goes back and forth in the moment, which I thought was neat and different. There is also a lot of great humor. There is something so wonderful about the British sense of humor that no American can capture in a novel. I was immediately engrossed in the characters from the first page and laughed along with them as they went on this journey together.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...

[Penne Moschetti · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a touching story. The friendship between two men which starts as boys, develops and grows through early manhood. Their falling out and eventual reconciliation was traumatic for them but it was their eventual reconciliation that I found so moving. I liked the narrative being told from each one's perspective, swapping back and forth. I didn't see the ending coming though.

[Emily Flemming · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.8

[Marjolein · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't believe Richard made me cry in public AGAIN

[Johnita · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won’t say much because this is our Book Club choice for the month.
It was a little slow getting started. I think part of my difficulty was the setting in London, but I definitely got into the story. The ending was a surprise!

[Dana · Rating 2 out of 5]

A story of childhood friends who due to certain happenings, bitterly part ways.
That is, until one of them shows up at the others home and makes them a life changing offer.
The catch? They must work harmoniously towards the goal while also trekking the Thames Path in London.

What could have possibly gone awry for the bonds of boyhood to be severed? Can the hands of time heal old wounds?

This story starts slow but quickly gains traction, much like the characters themselves. Through alternating viewpoints from both characters, there is as much a physical journey as there is an emotional one, each step equally revealing and compelling.

On July 20th, prepare yourself for a witty and touching storyline with a sucker punch ending.

Thank you @netgalley @putnambooks and @richardroper for the opportunity to read this in exchange for an honest review.

[haslerroberson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a story of second chances, keeping your word, and of the importance of having loved ones who are there for you no matter what. Joel and Theo are two pals trying to rekindle their long-lost friendship by making one of their teenage dreams a reality. Over the course of a few days and numerous miles traveled on foot and tandem bicycle, it becomes clear that they have a lot of ground to cover, both literally and metaphorically, as they try to make up for lost time. I found the characters well written, with Alice being my favorite; since Joel and Theo were ‘quite the double act’, I tended to get them confused at times. Despite this, I really enjoyed this read and can’t wait to read more by Roper- I’ll be sure to report back, but in the meantime I recommend this book to Fredrik Backman fans, as it possesses the same wit we know and love.

[Meg Strawberry · Rating 2 out of 5]

Did not finish: I quit reading because the book was slow. However, I read some spoilers, and it seems that I missed out on some amazing twists, and a dramatic ending. I kind of wish I would have persevered. I hope other people are able to finish so they can experience the ending.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Almost a 4. I confess that I read this quickly and avidly. Theo and Joel's childhood friendship was so close, fed by a shared passion for goofy comedy. They had made a pact that they would one day walk the Thames Path together. But barriers rose between them, and a tragic accident shattered their friendship. At age 30 as a successful TV writer, Joel tries to regenerate the connection by asking Theo, still living with his parents, to carry out their Thames Path pact. Somehow they agree and head out, but Theo quickly realizes that Joel is hiding something. I felt that in view of the animosity Theo had nursed against Joel over the years, it strained credibility that he would join him. And I was frustrated with Joel that he kept hugely important secrets from Theo and others closest to him. But it led to a quite interesting story and a moving outcome.

[Andrew Granholm · Rating 5 out of 5]

I borrowed this on a whim after exploring the shelves of the Oak Lawn library and was expecting it to be another corny friendship novel. Little did I know it would bring me on an emotional rollercoaster that had me rethinking my own friendships…in the best of ways of course. The bond between Joel and Theo shows us the dynamism of friendships and what it can be despite, time, trauma and age. WHAT A GREAT NOVEL. Easily on of my favorite thus far. It’s a bit of a tearjerker with sprinkles moments of humor, but with heaping moments that are sure to make you reflect and simply be.

[adam · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars / this audiobook was an easy enough listen due to the talented narrators, but the plot dragged on, the two main characters seemed really immature considering they were supposed to be 30 years old, and the ending was frustrating as well.

[Daniel Hamby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Richard Roper has done it again. Just as great, if not better than his debut novel. Looking forward to see what he does next.

[Jacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Friendships and relationships and growing up and liver disease and secrets and the Thames Path.
Also kind of a tearjerker end, thanks for that. 4.5☆.

[Jayce Mars · Rating 3 out of 5]

the story flow was a bit slow and predictable but It was a good book!

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

good male friendship, unexpected plot twist

[Nina]

Interesting look at male friendship over several decades, with a surprise twist at the end.

[Erin Aufderheide · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️