Tell Them I Didn't Cry: A Young Journalist's Story of Joy, Loss, and Survival in Iraq

by Jackie Spinner, David Ignatius (Foreword), Jenny Spinner (Contributor)

When she arrived in Iraq in May 2004 as the most junior member of the "Washington Post" bureau staff, Jackie Spinner entered a war zone where traditional reporting had become impossible. Bombs were a daily occurrence and kidnapping an ever-present threat for American journalists. Yet "the longer I stayed, the more Iraq felt like my home," she writes."Tell Them I Didn't Cry" is Jackie's vivid and intensely personal story of being a journalist in Iraq -- where for nine months she covered the war from its center in Baghdad, Fallujah, Kurdistan, and Abu Ghraib -- and of being transformed, eventually, from a rookie correspondent into a seasoned foreign reporter.

As she grew accustomed to the realities of living and reporting in Iraq, Jackie found that there was as much to love as there was to fear. The frenetic and grueling pace was an exhilarating challenge, and she discovered a powerful sense of purpose in delivering the story of Iraq. Soon, the Iraqi translators, drivers, and bodyguards that the Post staff relied on to be their eyes and ears, and, more important, to keep them safe, became not only her colleagues, but also her close friends and tightly knit family. Still, security rapidly deteriorated and Jackie describes with chilling simplicity narrowly surviving a kidnapping attempt and writing her name and blood type on her flak jacket before covering the battle in Fallujah.

By turns lighthearted, grave, vulnerable, and fiery, Jackie recounts the difficulties of being a woman in a country where women are marginalized and a journalist where the press are no longer safe. She eloquently chronicles what occurred behind her headlines as she struggled to preserve her sanity, andsometimes her life, while also doing the one job in which she had found true meaning.

Jackie's account is punctuated by brief vignettes written by her identical twin sister, Jenny, who watched as Jackie was drawn further and further into a world increasingly fraught with danger. Every morning she looked for Jackie's byline in the "Post," knowing only then that her sister had survived another day.

Through it all -- the violence and fear as well as the moments of humor, camaraderie, and warmth -- Jackie Spinner brings home with brilliant intensity and candor what it is like to report on a war under exceptional circumstances.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Middle East, War, Biography, Journalism, Adventure

288 pages, Hardcover

First published January 31, 2006

About the author

Jackie Spinner is an American journalist who worked for The Washington Post from 1995 to 2009.

Spinner grew up in Decatur, Illinois, the daughter of a pipe fitter and a schoolteacher. She has a bachelor of science degree in journalism from Southern Illinois University Carbondale and a master's degree at the Graduate School of Journalism at the University of California at Berkeley.

Spinner was a U.S. Fulbright Scholar in Oman for the 2010–2011 academic year. She left the Post in 2009 and founded Angel Says: Read, an international literacy project based in Belize, Central America. In 2010, she returned to Iraq to start the award-winning AUI-S Voice, Iraq's first independent student newspaper at The American University of Iraq—Sulaimani. During her time as a Fulbright Scholar, Spinner taught digital journalism at Sultan Qaboos University in Oman, where she founded Al Mir’ah, the university's first independent student newspaper. Jackie writes, shoots photos and produces audio slideshows and video for the Web. She has contributed to the Christian Science Monitor, Chicago Tribune, Slate, Glamour, Aswat al-Iraq, American Journalism Review, Defense Quarterly Standard and U.S. Catholic News. She is the author of Tell Them I Didn't Cry: A young journalist's story of joy, loss and survival in Iraq (Scribner 2006). Jackie has reported from Iraq, Afghanistan, Jordan, Oman, Ecuador, Hungary, Spain, Morocco, Finland, Iceland and Kuwait. She is a member of the Society of Professional Journalists, Journalism and Women’s Symposium, College Media Advisers and Military Reporters & Editors Association.

Spinner arrived as the most junior member of The Washington Post bureau staff, working as a metro reporter and financial reporter, before becoming Baghdad Bureau Chief. In Iraq, she survived mortar attacks, car bombs, the Battle for Fallujah, and a kidnapping attempt outside of Abu Ghraib prison. She has contributed to MSNBC, PBS, CNN, BBC, ABC, and National Public Radio, and was featured in a PBS Frontline documentary on reporting the war in Iraq.

Spinner's most recent project was Don't Forget Me, a documentary about autism in Morocco. The film premiered at the Rabat International Film Festival.

She is currently a journalism teacher at Columbia College Chicago.

Reviews

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was hardly what you might expect when you learn that it's a journalist's account of her time reporting in Iraq. Jackie is hardworking, down to earth young woman raised in the Midwest and educated at Berkeley, someone who attends church regularly but is also routinely criticized by conservative bloggers for being too liberal in her reporting. First and foremost, though, she's someone dedicated to her vocation and who finds her place in the world in a war zone. I loved that her twin sister wrote passages that gave readers a window into her experience of being "back home" while her sister reported on the war. Great, great book! Jackie rules.

[Ibrahim Habib · Rating 3 out of 5]

الكتاب يحكي تجربة شخصية لمراسلة جريدة واشنطن بوست في العراق أثناء الاحتلال الأمريكي ،أكثر ما تهتم به وتحكي عنه المؤلفة هو المكتب الذي تعمل به والأشخاص الذين يعملون فيه وكيف يتعاملون مع بعضهم البعض ولا تتحدث عن الاحتلال الأمريكي للعراق إلا بقدر ما يعترض الكاتبة من مواقف في هذا الشأن، وفي رأيي أن المؤلفة متحيزة بشكل كبير إلى وجهة نظر الأمريكية أكثر من تحيزها للحقيقة ، فهي تعتقد أن أمريكا قد حررت العراق من ظلم صدام حسين وأن هدف هذا العدوان هو تحرير الشعب العراقي وجعله يعيش حياة أفضل ـ والحقيقة بالطبع ليست كذلك ـ ولكن جانباً من الحقيقة كان يظهر أحياناً فيما بين السطور ،كنت أستاء كثيراً من وصفها المقاومين العراقيين بالمتمردين والصداميين ولكن هذا غير مستغرب على صحفية أمريكية كانت تقيم أحياناً مع الجيش الأمريكي وعلى تنسيق دائم مع قادة وضباط الجيش الأمريكي ، الكتاب مسلٍ أكثر من كونه مفيد ولكن يعيبه الغوص كثيراً في التفاصيل التافهة والسخيفة والتي لا تضيف إلى قيمة الكتاب

[Jordan · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was one of the worst war correspondence books I have ever read. Its dispassionate style and frankly boring structure made it hard to get through. It is hard to make something like the Iraq War seem trivial in light of 'the love of two sisters', but the Spinner twins managed to do just that. That is not a compliment.

[Stacey · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the thing about journalism and writing about it --- most of the time it's ego in the way, or standing in the shadows of it.

The parts where her sister writes of her worries is awfully sappy each and every time.

I would've liked less of Spinner and more of her Iraqi coworkers...they at least are truly interesting.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you have gotten so wrapped up in the economy that you have forgotten about the Iraq War you should read this as we are still there.

[Kimberly Boenig · Rating 2 out of 5]

For some reason I expected this book to be more exciting. Sometimes it would pick up, but those times were often abruptly ended. Honestly, this book could have been half as long with the content of has, and everything meanders. Overall, this book felt unstructured.

[Lily Totten · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading of this journalist’s experience reporting from Iraq in the early 2000s. It was fascinating to hear of her experience and all she encountered.

[Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

My sister gave me this book for Christmas because she had read it and loved it. I, too, read and loved it. It's about a young journalist who's covering the Iraq war for a newspaper (can't remember which one). It's a true story which makes it call the more compelling.

The book is not political at all. It's simply her experiences and thoughts about what SHE went through while over there. She talks about feeling hungry, missing family during holidays, becoming family with her translator and other Iraqi team members, almost being kidnapped, almost being blown up, and how she changed.

I found myself in her shoes as a young, determined and ambitious writer who wants to see things outside of their comfort zone.

Amazing.

[Francesca Favila · Rating 3 out of 5]

I give this book a 3.5. I loved the rawness with which she portrayed her own insecurities and fears throughout her time in Iraq. I was captivated throughout, but I felt like the ending was unresolved and I really just wanted more. I want more dealt and more time spent describing the staff and the field missions that she went on. I felt there was so much more material that she could of drawn from. However, I think my largest critique would have been the sense of time. She flitted back and forth between moments in time that I felt that I never knew where she was chronologically; it felt jumbled. It may have been her choose to create that sense of disjointness; as is common with victims of ptsd.

[Mervat Eissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

ناهيك عن الترجمة الرديئة ..فان نظرة اي امريكي (حتي لو ادعي انه مراسل حيادي) للوضع ف العراق تثير الاشمئزاز
هؤلاء الامريكان الذين حولو العراق الي جحيم متحججين بان خلصو العراقيين من الشيطان الاعظم صدام..وللحق فانهم استبدل ديكاتاتور يحكم بلد متوحد غني مستقل الي جحيم الفوضى الخلاقة ونهلو من ثروات العراق وتركوها منهوكة تماما
نفس نظرة التي يتمتع بها كل امريكي وكانهم ولدو بنفس الفكرة الا وهي صورة الامريكي الذي بيديه الخلاص..فليذهب الجيش الامريكي الي الجحيم!!
المراسلة جاكي سبنسر ليست سوي امريكييه جاءت بنفس النظرة ونفس الفكر الامريكي ...وكتبت كتاب سيئ ..بلا طعم ولا ترتيب ..ولا اعرف ما هو الشئ المؤثر الي تترته بين سطورها؟ تجربة هشة لا معني لها ...واعتقد ان هناك كثير من تجارب المراسلين اجدر بالنشر من هذا الكتاب السيئ..

[Jill Koren · Rating 4 out of 5]

My cousin Chris recommended this book to me. I really liked it because it gave me a perspective on Iraq that I wouldn't have otherwise. I feel like Spinner (well, both Spinners) were earnest and tough (though I didn't enjoy Jenny's as much as I did Jackie's; they took me out of the narrative a little too much, and how could they not be melodramatic?). The writing had its flaws (a lot of repetition of how the staff felt like family) and the voice seemed young, but I wasn't too put off by the flaws. The story and the earnestness of the narrator motivated me to finish the book. And I am glad I did. I want to email her and thank her for writing it.

[Mary Snedden]

Jackie Skinner was in Iraq recently and was escorted by my daughter in Baghdad so I was curious to read her book. The book was written in 2004 and really I was impressed that it seems more dangerous there now then it was in that year. Jackie's relationships with the translators and fellow Iraq reporters is an intimate human relations portrait. I couldn't help but note that both she and Anderson Cooper, in his book, Dispatches from the Edge" get "hooked" on the war environment and returning to the war zone is not understandable to even them.

[Trudy Jaskela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always thoughr I'd like to be a journalist who travelled the world for exiciting stories. After reading this book, I don't think I would have had the "head and stomach" to deal with the fear. I really enjoyed reading this book. The author revealed her fears and joys of working for 9 months in Iraq during the American occupation. The reintegration back to "normal" life was very difficult for the author. Without tremendous family support, it's no wonder that some soldiers, contractors, and civilians take their own life after returning home.

[David Gallianetti · Rating 5 out of 5]

As much as this is a behind the scenes of life as a war correspondent, it's a very personal story by an author who falls in love with her surroundings and the new people in her life. We get to know the people who run the Post bureau in Iraq as the author gives us a series of short feature stories. The book reminds you how much we in America take what we have for granted and how easy it is to tune out what's happening globally and unfortunately on the political talking heads for our perspective.

[Francine Uenuma · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is chick lit meets war stories. It's life in a battle zone from a female perspective, and she's pretty honest about how hard it was. I enjoyed reading it, although I was partially biased because some of what kept me reading was getting the skinny on people from work in the book.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

did make me wonder what i'm doing sitting here just existing, when one could be there living the experience i'm reading about.

but then i remembered that i've grown out of that particular journalistic deathwish period of my life.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

The benefit of reading this book is the culture in a country that we hear so much about. Ms. Spinner wrote wonderfully about the side of this country I wondered about and now understand why Americans are so widely misunderstood and resented.

[Sheena · Rating 4 out of 5]

A heart-wrenching account of a woman's struggles as she tries to survive in a male dominated job while in a male-dominated country. Truly humanizing story of those in Iraq, from all sides and perspectives.

[Angie · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book to compare/contrast with Eat Pray Love, recounting the 2004/2005 escalating violence in Iraq as seen from the eyes of a young, female Washington Post reporter.

[Ashley]

#150
Borrowed from the library.

FS: "The hot cement burned the rubber soles of my sandals as I ran through the barricaded maze of blast walls, sandbags, and barbed wire sealing off the compound of the U.S. occupation authority in Baghdad."

LS:

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A first hand insight into covering the war, from a young woman's perspective. In my reading of this, Jackie Spinner did not let any political biases into her reporting, which is refreshing.

[Kyra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in my book club. Very interesting and incredible book about a woman reporter in Iraq.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the honesty with which Jackie Spinner talks about her time in Iraq and found I had a hard time putting this book down.

[Abdullah · Rating 1 out of 5]

The worst ever boring to death

[Trace · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book did make me cry. A wonderful portrait of journalism in Iraq, and how you create a life in the most extraordinary situations.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book, I can't put it down

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best personal accounts of the Iraq war.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

written by my international reporting professor (and her twin sister) who covered the war in iraq in 2004 for the washington post and other media.

[Toesnorth's mom]

journalist for Wash. Post, her tour in Iraq, interesting, but why?

[Cindy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting insider's view of Iraq, often bogged down in details.