My Dearest Darkest

by Kayla Cottingham

WILDER GIRLS meets THE CRAFT in this Sapphic horror debut that asks: What price would you be willing to pay to achieve your deepest desires?

Finch Chamberlin is the newest transfer student to the ultra-competitive Ulalume Academy... but she's also not what she seems. Months before school started, Finch and her parents got into an accident that should have left her dead at the bottom of a river. But something monstrous, and ancient, and terrifying, wouldn't let her drown. Finch doesn't know why she woke up after her heart stopped, but since dying she's felt a constant pull from the school and the surrounding town of Rainwater, like something on the island is calling to her.

Selena St. Clair sees right through Finch, and she knows something is seriously wrong with her. But despite Selena's suspicion, she feels drawn to Finch and has a sinking feeling that from now on the two will be inexplicably linked to one another.

One night Finch, Selena, and her friends accidentally summon a carnivorous creature of immense power in the depths of the school. It promises to grant every desire the girls have kept locked away in their insecure hearts―beauty, power, adoration―in exchange for a price: human body parts. But as the cost of their wanting becomes more deadly, Finch and Selena must learn to work together to stop the horror they unleashed, before it consumes the entire island.

Genres: Horror, Young Adult, Lesbian, LGBT, Queer, Fantasy, Dark Academia

352 pages, Paperback

First published March 29, 2022

About the author

Kayla Cottingham (she/they) is a YA author and librarian. Her first book, My Dearest Darkest, was a New York Times and Publisher's Weekly bestseller. Originally from Salt Lake City, Utah, Kayla lives in Boston where she loves to go hiking in the woods, play RPGs, and snuggle on the couch with her ridiculously large black cat, Squid.

Kayla is no longer active on Goodreads. As such, please use the contact form on her website if you have any inquiries.

Reviews

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listen, I'm a little biased, but I think this book is rad as hell and I worked really hard on it.

Also, for anyone interested, here's a list of content warnings for MY DEAREST DARKEST:
• Abusive relationships
• Alcohol consumption by minors
• Anxiety
• Blood & gore depiction
• Body horror
• Burns
• Coming out themes
• Cults
• Dead bodies/body parts
• Death of a parent
• Death of a friend
• Depression
• Drowning
• Emesis
• Emotional abuse
• Grief & loss depiction
• Hallucinations
• Loss of autonomy
• Mind control
• Murder
• Outing (mentioned)
• Panic attacks (mentioned)
• Physical injuries & wounds
• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
• Biphobia (mentioned)
• Racism (mentioned)
• Recreational drug use (marijuana)

[Lex Kent · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.50 Stars. This was a fun and entertaining read. It seems like ever since Power’s Wilder Girls, there has been this renaissance of horror/paranormal queer YA stories, and I’m so here for them. It is such a fun genre to read and this made for a good Marchoween read. However, this is a debut and it did have some newbie bumps. I think overall this was about an average or slightly better than average book for this genre.

A lot of people have been comparing this to The Craft, but coming from someone that watched the original movie dozens of times, I don’t really agree with that comparison. Yes, they are both dark and about young women in high school, but that is almost it. If anything this had more of a Mean Girls feel as the group is popular and privileged (unlike in The Craft) and some of them take the new girl in, even when her other friends warn her not to get too close. For me this had much more of a feel of Mean Girls meets the book To Break a Covenant (by Alison Ames).

This book had two main storylines going on, the horror part, and the teenager part. The creepy horror part is where I think the book really shined. There were some really gross scenes, and there was one part in particular that was scary enough that I was mad at myself for reading the book at eleven at night instead of during daylight. It seems like a lot of horror these days is either gross or scary and I was really happy that this had a good mix of both.

When it came to the teenager storylines, this was where the book was lacking a bit for me. I didn’t think these parts were as strong and there seemed to be no adult supervision or even just worry when kids were missing. It wasn’t like the teenager storyline was bad, but there was nothing new here and I felt like Cottingham concentrated more on the horror instead. I did think the sapphic relationship was pretty cute, I just wished that it wasn’t wrapped up in another “panic because I realize I’m gay” storyline.

TLDR: An entertaining horror/paranormal book. This was well done for a debut, but there were some obvious bumps like too much “telling” in certain parts, and the teenager storyline not being as strong as the horror one. I won’t give away what the “evil” being is, but it was well imagined and felt unique and not like a being that is often overdone in horror stories. I think this is the tale of two books and I would read it if you are looking for horror that was entertaining and done well. If you are looking for more of a queer teenager tale, than another book would probably be a better choice. I had fun with this book and I think it would make a good Halloween read too.

A copy was given to me for a review.

[ellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

While all towns have their ghosts, Rainwater’s were special.

sapphic horror inspired by Jennifer’s Body?? i mean, what more could a girl want? the moment i read the author’s dedication to herself, i knew this was gonna be a winner, honestly:

To my fifteen-year-old self—I hope you’d be proud of what your idea became. And not too surprised by how much gayer it is.

and by the end of the first chapter, i was hooked.

honestly, the more i read, the more this reminded me of The Devouring Gray. not that they’re the same or anything, just a similar vibe? i think both stories nail the creepy vibe without making it convoluted. they both execute perfectly that quiet, subtle creepiness which constantly hangs over the characters’ heads and just always has you slightly on edge. it was fantastic. so, if you loved that duet then id imagine you’d enjoy this too!

“I saw you walking with her earlier and you were staring up at her like she paints the stars in the sky every night.”

bitchy ballerina gf x soft pianist gf??? a trope i didn’t know i needed🥺

Finch Chamberlin

 
my darling, Finch. ilysm.

she was so lovely and gentle, awkward and broken. she made me tear up a few times. i was instantly rooting for her, especially after everything she’d been through.

any time Finch made a new friend or came out to someone, i smiled so damn big. she was so sweet and deserved the world. i wanted to give her the biggest hug ever.

this just felt like her story more than anyone else’s and i wouldn’t have it any other way, honestly. she was just really endearing to me, while others might regard her as meek and timid, i just found her to be a bit broken but so gentle and kind. she’s had a hard time of it (i honestly wished we’d gotten more of her trauma since she didn’t talk about it nearly enough, imo) and reacted accordingly.

but she also had a bite to her and when her claws came out??? omg i was living my best life. her verbally beating the shit out of Kyra added an extra five years to my life span bcos seeing my girl flourish like that? the way she grew into herself and backed herself 100%? its what she deserved.

she was the star of the show for me🥺

Selena grinned. Even just seeing her here, like this, with her too-big school uniform and a pencil still stuck behind her ear made Selena’s chest ache with warmth.

Selena St. Clair

it took me longer to warm up to Selena. she was icy cold, quite the bitch if you will, but had a heart of gold. and once some of that icy exterior cracked and began to melt, i liked her a lot (not as much as Finch, mind you, but still enjoyed her character so much). but in particular, her character development.

there were times she was mean and i genuinely didn’t like her. but there were just these little things she did and said that had me kicking my feet bcos it was just so cute. she really was a big ole softie deep down.

like Selena still not liking Finch but hearing a song and thinking of her????!!! sorry i lost my mind.

“Anyway, enough about Kyra. I was listening to music while I jogged last night and I thought Hey, this song makes me think of Finch, so I went looking for a piano cover and I found one.”

then Selena teaching Finch ballet??? i passed away.

Finch stood like a statue, the warmth of Selena’s hands sinking into her skin until it seemed as if her entire body were flaring with pink. She laughed nervously, unsure of what else to do.

Selena’s warm, minty breath tickled her cheek. Finch’s skin was typically so cold, but now she was on the verge of breaking a sweat.

She almost didn’t realize Selena was lifting her until she spun her around. Finch shrieked, half in terror, before dissolving into giggles.

Selena making a playlist for sad Finch?? i was a goner. that was it. i was officially obsessed with the book AND the couple. the soft crumbs were enough to keep me fed until the next one was dropped.

bcos i would 100000% classify this as a slowburn but it was executed so well! it didn’t feel as agonising as it sometimes can bcos the plot filled the gaps whenever the romance was put on pause. ngl though, any time the girls were right on the cusp of having a “moment” or confessing their feelings only to be interrupted, i wanted to launch my phone across the room fr. it was so frustrating... but in a good way? bcos, like i said, those moments where then replaced by the plot which was just as riveting to me. so i was equally invested in the plot and the romance.

For a moment, they just looked at each other, still grinning and warm, studying each other’s faces. Finch’s gaze involuntarily fell on Selena’s lips, faintly parted and painted berry-red.
Warmth blossomed in her chest.
Selena’s eyes, typically so sharp, softened.

so, the plot... i actually liked it a lot! i can admit there was some “convenient” situations, you know where the right character at the right time knows the right information the MCs need? that sorta thing? but there wasn’t any info-dumping, nor was the plot OTT convoluted, or basic and predictable. the lore of the story was easy to keep up with. it was the perfect balance to keep me riveted without distracting me from Finch and Selena. bcos my babies... my whole attention span was hooked on them lol.

but any time they group got together to do some investigating and the like, this gif was on repeat in my head:



... it was in my head the whole damn book, if im honest. it was just so damn gay and i adored it.

i loved the realistic portrayal of teens. instead of being ethereally beautiful to the point it’s inhuman, the characters had acne, under-eye bags, hair frizz, botched dye jobs, bitten hangnails... i mean, Finch Google’s if she’s gay or not💀 if that’s not an accurate teen depiction, idk what is.

in turn conversations around sexuality were *chef’s kiss* loved it. Selena telling Finch there’s no rules that say she needs to be attracted to boys, or to anyone at all was lovely.

so was this perfect? no. but for a debut novel this was amazing. there are certainly little niggles that i have regarding the story but nothing significant enough to dim my enjoyment.

im wondering if there’s gonna be another book?? it could remain as a standalone for sure but there are still so many questions i have and some ambiguities i want clearing up... even the final words were a little mysterious. id totally be down for a sequel😌

Selena was already laughing, tugging Finch closer to her and smiling wider than Finch had ever seen. She kissed her on the mouth, then all over her face, hands all over her at once as she laughed through each kiss.

[Madison]

SAPPHIC HORROR
- popular bisexual x nervous lesbian slowburn romance
- cults, sacrifices, eight-eyed deer
- body horror, eye horror
- boarding school in Maine (cliff setting)
- exploring sexuality/coming out
- fans of The Craft, Wilder Girls, The Luminous, Teen Wolf
- a best dude friend who reminds me of Stiles Stilinski and one of the MCs has Lydia vibes

[Brend · Rating 5 out of 5]

Satanic Panic! At the Boarding School.



.




.












.

[Alexis Hall]

Source of book: NetGalley (thank you)
Relevant disclaimers: I work for the same publisher (Casablanca imprint, not Fire) as this author; no other contact
Please note: This review may not be reproduced or quoted, in whole or in part, without explicit consent from the author.

I think I might have gone into this book with the wrong expectations. I’d got sort of sapphic and gothic and dark academia vibes, so I’d assumed a sort of slow burn. But, no, everything is one fire from the get-go. I mean in literally the first chapter, the heroine, Finch, is wishing she would do anything to get a scholarship to Ulalume Academy and then her parents drive their car over a bridge into a river and die, while an eight-eyed stag with bloody velvet on its horns watches Finch fight her way out of the water filled vehicle before, uh, dying herself. And then getting resuscitated, only to be permanently afflicted with sluggish heartbeat, white hair, and cold, pale skin.

What’s extra weird about this is that the heroine of the book is basically … a zombie? From chapter 1 and it’s not really a big deal to anyone. Nor is the fact that a weird ghost girl appears in the depths of the school and starts granting wishes to anyone who asks in return for increasingly horrific favours. Oh, and in 2004, five kids mysteriously died after forming a abruptly successful rock band. And probably I am maintaining the wrong expectations for this book, but, like, I think about all the paperwork, and song and dance, and safeguarding sessions, and interventions from the PTA we get if a kid stubs their toe. Imagine if FIVE OF THEM DIED. How is Ulalume Academy still functioning?

Anyway, I think get what Dearest Darkest was shooting for: balls-to-the-wall horror meets teenage social commentary. Honestly, it feels like it should be two great tastes that go great together (since is not peer pressure not its own horror, ahhhhhh) except while I felt the horror mostly hit the mark, the teen life didn’t so much. At least, not for me. Finch is a zombie (?) musical prodigy who has been mostly homeschooled and spends most of the book with everybody being incredibly nice to her, despite the fact that—and I’m quoting the villain here, who I broadly agreed with on most things—she has all the charisma of a wet cracker. Selena, by contrast, is a bisexual mean girl who fought her way to queen bee status in order to protect herself from the social stigma she experienced when she was outed by her ex-girlfriend.

Except, to me, Selena never seemed that mean? Finch is actually sort of more hurtful, in her … whole physically recoiling and running away from people because she’s not comfortable in the discovery she’s gay. There’s a fair of bit of sexuality-oriented angst in here and, if I’m honest, it felt a bit … disconnected to me? Like sexuality is treated as inherently a source of anxiety and/or shame, when usually it’s context that creates the shame, you know? Whereas there’s nothing about Ulalume Academy that seems to suggest it’s not accepting of queer identities: in the very first party Finch attends, there are boys kissing in a corner and the mean-girl villain is herself queer. Yes, Selena was outed (and I am not saying being outed is not horrific—and, in fact, I wish it wasn’t a plot point in so many queer books) but it was less her identity that caused the problem, so much as the villain telling everyone that Selena was treating sex like a scoresheet. And I know, I know, you don’t have to have rational reasons for being fearful of elements of yourself not finding acceptance, so realising you’re queer is scary even in the most liberal of environments, but since both protagonists struggle so much with their sexuality over the course of the book I wish there’s been more depth and detail to this struggle instead of it just being centred on generic bad gay feels.

To be honest, I think depth and detail is where My Dearest Darkest didn’t quite deliver for me in general. The blurb compares the book to The Craft but … okay. The thing about The Craft is that the teenage girls turn to magic to address their own sense of powerlessness, both in their lives and amongst their peers. Sarah has lost her mother, Nancy is looked do for being “white trash”, Bonnie has her scars, and Rochelle is suffering racially-charged bullying. They’re outsiders in a hostile world (the school world they inhabit, with indifferent teenagers, and boys only too eager to exploit them) and a broader world that is not kind to young women in general (Nancy’s mother is in an abusive relationship, none of the girls really have parental figures they can turn to—Sarah, in the end, ends up turning to a random shopkeeper, that’s how lost these characters are).

Selena and her cronies are rich, powerful, mean girls: yes, they use random ghost monster in the basement to cement that power, and there’s an aside about one of them struggling academically, but they kind of rule the school already? And the school is a nice, full of respectful boys, and an almost absurdly diverse student body. The thing about the devil—or devil-like figures—is that the devil is a confidence trickster. He offers deals to the desperate, that only the desperate will take. I didn’t believe any of these girls were desperate for anything really beyond more of the teenage cachet that they already apparently have? And even that sense of wanting teenage cachet I was drawing by implication from other books about teenage girls behaving badly (like Pretty Little Liars) rather than from this book specifically.

Ack, this all sounds more negative than I wanted it to. In the book’s favour, I did enjoy the writing (there are some one-liners that made me literally cackle), the relationship between Selena and Finch is charming once it actually starts happening and there are so many good ideas in here. I think that for many readers the strength of those ideas, the juxtaposition of walls-to-the-wall B-movie horror and teenage girls trying to figure out who they are and what they want, will carry them past the places where, for me, the execution just didn’t quite make it. As a debut, My Dearest Darkest doesn’t lack for panache. I just think it could have had benefited from more thematic cohesion: it’s kind of low-light academia at best, and I think the horror would have landed better emotionally speaking if the school had been a bit more Catherine House and a bit less Mallory Towers.

[alaska · Rating 5 out of 5]

listen, i’m not saying kayla cottingham put drugs in this book but… there definitely were drugs in this book

[Rachel (TheShadesofOrange) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars
As someone who loves queer mean girl horror stories set a school… I predicted that this could be a favourite. Yet despite having a brilliant start, this one meandered with teen drama and romance more than I wanted. I liked it, but I should loved it. I'm still interested in the sequel when it comes out.

[charlotte, · Rating 2 out of 5]

On my blog.

Rep: lesbian mc, bi mc, sapphic side characters, Arab hijabi side character, Black side character with ADHD

CWs: gore, eye horror, outing

Galley provided by publisher

My Dearest Darkest is, in the nicest possible way although it probably doesn’t sound it, quite clearly a debut. There was definite promise—most clearly in the plot—but it lacked a kind of tautness to the storytelling and the characters were somewhat shallow.

But as I said, it has promise. There are authors I’ve read who’ve had worse starts with their debut novel for me, who I’ve later gone on to really like so. Nothing about this book says I won’t come to like Kayla Cottingham’s later releases. This is a convoluted start, so let me take a moment to explain what about this book did work for me.

Firstly, in general, I enjoyed the plot. The end of the first chapter, with its hints about what exactly happened to Finch but nothing really definite. So you’re hooked onto the mystery of it all from there. Then, you steadily get dripfed more information as the plot progresses, about the creature they have apparently summoned and how she ties into a years-old disappearance. Yes, there were points that were a little… underdeveloped, perhaps. Points that made me think …what (I mean… tentacles??). But on the whole it was readable and kept my attention throughout.

I also liked the character arcs of the mains, particularly Finch’s and how she went from being unsure she was a lesbian, to being able to say it proudly. Since the word lesbian is so little used in positive contexts in YA lit, the fact that it’s used so more than once in this book was a breath of fresh air.

It’s a very solid horror story, in all. Creepy when it needs to be, with a growing sense of unease over it all. I also liked the way everything started to escalate as the sacrifices the characters made grew more and more extreme.

But while this is what I liked, there were also aspects I liked less, chief among which was probably the writing. When I said that this was clearly a debut, I mostly meant the writing. It seemed somewhat unpolished overall—though it must also be said that this is very possibly a result of the fact I read an ARC, and I read it very early on—and didn’t conjure up the atmosphere nearly so effectively as I might have liked.

That shallowness did also make its way to the characters too, in both a writing sense and also a personality sense. I actually couldn’t tell you a whole lot about any of the characters—none of them really stuck out but for a handful of characteristics—and this was especially true of the side characters (and even more so of the antagonist, who was little more than a mean girl). Add onto that the fact that they were, for want of a better word, seduced by this creature they’d summoned through promises of… looking pretty? It was, to be blunt, more than a little inane.

But please don’t let me put you off reading this one! As I said, there’s a lot to like about it and, hey, I could just easily be not quite the right reader here.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I upped it to 3 stars (because I felt like being generous), but my actual rating is 2.5 stars.

The ending went full Lovecraftian horror, and I loved it! The problem is, the rest of the book doesn't match that energy. It's more...kinda The Craft?...Honestly, there were a lot of plot holes and inconsistency that never made sense or really added up. That's probably because the book was too long and it kept switching back and forth between ideas on what Nerosi was supposed to be/represent. There's a lot of good ideas here, but the executing was lacking and took it into more cheesy horror territory. Although I have to give Cottingham props for including some decent body horror and gore.

I loved the sapphic elements in this book. However, the writer went a little overboard with inclusion. Almost all the characters ended up being queer which made the narrative less believable and took away from the specialness of Finch and Selena's relationship IMO. The dialog was also very Gen-Z, but clearly written by someone who isn't Gen-Z...I hope that makes sense!

This was a decent story. It didn't blow me away. It was clearly a debut effort, but I'd read another book by Kayla Cottingham in the future.

[Kylee · Rating 2 out of 5]

The concept was interesting, but the writing was just too juvenile for my liking.

[tappkalina · Rating 3 out of 5]

The plot was ok. I really liked the sapphic relationship.

[Jennie Damron · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been on a thriller/horror kick this entire month. I can't seem to get enough. This book did not disappoint. It was a bit gory, at times creepy, and a bit unsettling, but in the best way. I liked all the characters even the villians, but, my favorite was Finch and Simon. I loved the paranormal/supernatural elements to the story and the creepy vibes were on point. I am so glad I picked this book up. Would definitely recommend.

[BadassCmd · Rating 5 out of 5]

The gays deserve horror books with positive endings!

[tswiftlover (cami) · Rating 4 out of 5]

☆4 stars!
⁀➷🦌 say that we got it, i’m a mess but i’m the mess that you wanted. it’s been two years since i’ve read this book, and it still has a special place in my heart! it’s one of the first sapphic dark academia books i read, and it ALWAYS reminds me of fall and spooky season so i figured it was time for a reread !!!

”i saw you walking with her earlier and staring up at her like she paints the stars in the sky every night.”

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡
ﾟ。 finch chamberlin
　ﾟ･｡･ what a haunting character!!! i definitely adored her, and it was so interesting seeing her figure herself out. her internal monologue was so cute LMFAO, and she had so much mysterious backstory that i thought was interesting to dig through!

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡
ﾟ。 selena st. clair
　ﾟ･｡･ obvi love my blonde rich sapphic microtrope?? she was definitely a bit mean at first but she cared about finch so much and definitely grew to be a better person by the end of the book so def appreciate that!!

now, the plot itself! i enjoyed the paranormal aspects, and could def see the jennifer’s body inspo in this book. it’s less of a mystery novel and more of a supernatural one, so i figured it fit w spooky season at the moment. my fav scenes were absolutely the party ones as well as the ones where they were digging through what happened two decades prior to them. stories where repeating phenomenas happen in a small town and the mc’s investigate it are my TOTAL FAV. i did find the whole ‘god’ thing a bit unnecessary though, and a stupid explanation, but whatever LMFAO. the romance was also adorable, just they fell for each other just a bittt too quickly haha. i also fear i didn’t love the pop culture references… ban pop culture references in books I CANT. but!!! the side characters (sumera best character ily) made up for it!

overall…
still a good read!! i think i did enjoy it more last time, but i still enjoyed the aesthetics, characters, and plots of this story — esp for autumn! :)

[Kaitlyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 - finally, one of these Wilder Girls-type paranormal YA horrors hits true to the horror genre. Maybe this is actually more of a 3.5, but it's getting a bonus star for actually giving me horror in a way most of these haven't.

This was quite good, with excellent narration, good writing, and an interesting plot. I love that it went really dark and grotesque by the end, though the build-up to it in the first part was very much along the lines of those creepy, atmospheric kind of YA "horrors" that keep popping up (Wilder Girls, River has Teeth, Burn our Bodies, etc.).

The thing that didn't quite land for me was the demographic of the characters - the YA aspect of it. This would have been sooooo much better (in my opinion) if the characters had been older and with more serious issues to make their actions (and mistakes) more of a gray morality/rock-and-a-hard-place kind of thing rather than teenagers just being dumb, selfish, and impulsive. For example, making them medical school students (under serious pressure and hardships) instead of high schoolers would also give it more potential for grittiness, deeper emotional connection to both the "good" and "bad" characters, and more emotional impact from the consequences.

But I digress...It was good, it took a bit of time for me to get invested but by the end of it, I was definitely hooked. It got weird, it got gruesome, it got creepy - that's what I like to see!

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Featured in this reading vlog: https://youtu.be/vqOGP4QhXV8

A YA sapphic, gothic, dark academia, supernatural horror?! Say no more!! This had all the good spooky wholesome goodness I love in YA horror. It read a bit “younger” than I’m used to for YA horror, but I still had a great time.

[Sam Maggs · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love a book that isn’t afraid to say the word lesbian (and make a U-Haul joke), but I’d give this book every star just for the Mass Effect reference alone <3333 Excited to see more from this debut author!!

[Maggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 because this was so good I can't begin to explain it. Modern day The Craft and I ate it up!!!!

[Amy Marsden · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this! It finally dragged me out of my reading slump! Sapphic thriller/horror? Yes please!

Ngl, I struggled to get into it, but I purely blame my reading slump for that. Once I did get into it, I breezed through. It opens strongly with Finch and her parents drowning and something bringing her back.

I enjoyed all the characters, but especially Selena. I fully expected her to be a mean girl type, but she was so much more. While I liked Finch and enjoyed her POV, I found myself more excited to read Selena.

The side characters were good too! My only complaint was Kyra, she didn't seem to have much personality besides 'spurned bad guy', but I've found that most YA villains fall into one dimensional territory.

Nerosi was good! Suitably nice and manipulative at the start and suitably creepy and horrific by the end. I liked the reveal of what she is and what she can do.

I did think the ending was a bit weak, but I enjoyed the rest of the book enough not to be too bothered by it.

I liked the romance between Selena and Finch. It was sweet and I hope they stay together, despite not really having all that much in common besides the trauma they both went through.

I really enjoyed the slow unveiling of what happened in the past and how that informed what was happening in the present. I loved the gift and sacrifice exchange.

Finally out of my slump! Here's to many more books in my future!

[Erin Talamantes · Rating 5 out of 5]

So so so so fun!!!
The atmosphere, the romance, the characters, the dark academia vibes. All so good.
I loved everything about this one and I think it would make the perfect fall read!
I would absolutely read more from this author in the future.

[Ray · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book for the most part but the ending lost me a bit. I just wish that the big bad of this story was a lot more interesting than what we got. it wasn't really scary but it was unsettling. bonus points for the sapphics.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[&#x1fa76; April • A.M. Flynn • &#x1fa76;]

I had to soft DNF. Will come back later.

[RivetingReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you so much to Kayla Cottingham and Sourcebooks for providing me an arc in exchange for an honest review. I absolutely loved reading this book! First of all, it has one of my favorite tropes in books: dark academia. There is just something magical reading about gothic campuses that sets such a great tone for thriller and horror novels. This story is not only a horror novel, but also a sapphic love story. I usually am not someone who enjoys romantic elements in books but this romance was done in such a way that made me invested in the character's relationship. The horror imagery was extremely haunting and the ending was extraordinarily intense. I am a reader who struggles sometimes with visualization so I had to slow down while reading at times to fully picture the imagery that was being presented; however, it really paid off. This novel had a bit of a slow start but once I reached the halfway point, I flew through the rest. I highly recommend this to anyone who loves academic atmospheres, appreciates lyrical writing, and loves a horror novel with romantic elements. 4.5 stars from me!

[Carissa | the.grim.readers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely LOVED this YA horror story! It had so many different elements that I love seeing in my horror and it was all executed so perfectly. I was totally shocked that this was Kayla Cottingham's debut novel and I will definitely read her future releases.

To be honest, I saw this one pretty often on Bookstagram and picked it up without really knowing too much about it besides loving the cover and knowing it had dark academia vibes, and I recommend going in this way if you can. I will point out a few of my overall favorite elements but definitely pick this one up if any of these things intrigue you!

Read this if you like:
- Dark academia vibes
- Isolated island settings
- Creature feature horror
- LGBTQ+ representation in multiple characters

[zineb · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75★

i will never be over the fact that simon had his playlist blasting in the car, while they were on their way to literally stop someone from tearing someone else's heart from their chest.
new iconic character ✨unlocked✨

[Alexandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

Gorgeous cover I just couldnt get into it Im sorry

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book #2 of 2024

Both the winter & snow outside make me want to read creepy books & this one didn’t disappoint. I saw this one on a whim at my local Indie “Pelican Book Store” & I’m glad it popped up.

🩸Dark Academia
🩸Haunted Town
🩸Folklore
🩸LGBTQIA+ Love Triangle

Finch Chamberlain has long dreamed of getting into Ulalume Academy—an ultra-competitive Performing Arts School as a pianist. But she never thought she’d have to give up so much just to get in, including her parents’ lives.

On their way home from the infamous school try-outs, a gigantic illuminated being runs out in front of the car, plunging them into the water & killing them almost instantaneously. Drowned-underneath-the-sea or so it seemed— until Finch’s heart began to thump once again & after a half-hour under pulled herself to the surface. Something ancient just couldn’t let her die— not when she had so much USE for her & all she could provide to someone or something stuck beneath the tunnels.

But this isn’t the first time that it’s happened in the grand old town of Rainwater, it happened with the first settlers & again when a band called “Killing Howard” longed to find a better way to kick off their true talent and began beckoning up the wrong path. After 2 decades Nerosi is ready to start bargaining again but this time with the beauty of the blood of young girls who are desperate to succeed.

“Would Nerosi target them by tearing their minds apart from the inside, or send her stag to kill them?”

“…What I’ve become is more than simply a man. I’ve become elevated by a Horned Queen, made something closer to a demigod. Our connection has given me access to a fraction of her power. If it weren’t for the noise it makes within my mind, I suspect I could bring the entire world to its knees.”

💭Is it snowing where you are?Do you prefer hot or cold weather; somewhere in between?

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#24in24 #readathon #readallthebooks #horror #horrorbooks #sneakerpimps #6feetunder #6underground #gothichorror #gothicbooks #gothictown #hauntedbooks #creepybooks #yanovels #academia #darkacademia #darkacademiabooks #lgbtq #lgbtqiabooks #newbook #sourcebooksfire #sourcebooks #mydearestdarkest #kaylacottinghambooks

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Raincoast Books for an ARC copy for an honest review.

This was an excellent YA queer mystery thriller. If you’re not already intrigued by that alone, there are potential cult elements, a mysterious band disappearance from almost 20 years ago, a queer girl coming to terms with her sexuality, and a weird thing in the tunnels beneath the school that can grant wishes.
The writing style was really good. It was super easy to follow, and the author developed the creepy and unsettling atmosphere really well. I was completely sucked into this story, and I didn’t want to put it down. It did feel a little slow at times, but I enjoyed the mystery aspect and also the relationship aspect.
Finch has lived a pretty sheltered life, but after her parents death, she starts at Ulalume. She and Selena are drawn towards each other, and I enjoyed seeing Finch come to terms with her crush on Selena. Their relationship was really good, and I liked how it developed over the course of the book. Finch is also drawn down into the tunnels beneath Ulalume where she accidentally pulls something into existence in their world.
Selena was also a good character. I liked her confidence and how she owned her identity, and I really felt for her when we learned how she’d suffered before getting to this place where she could own it. Her toxic friendship/relationship with Kyra was very unsettling, and Kyra only became worse as the book progressed. Selena is drawn not only towards Finch, but she’s also pulled into the mystery of the thing in the tunnels when Kyra discovers it and gets her friends involved.
This got pretty dark at times, and the ending was really intense. I really liked the friendships that developed in the book, the romance, and the creepy mystery.

CWs: violence, murder, death, death of parents, animal death, outing someone, depression, talk about human sacrifice, mention of suicide