03:21 AM: An Ode to Rust & Restlessness

by Moushmi Radhanpara

One day everything is fine, you are going about your life as you used to, working, eating, playing, the mornings are bright, the moon isn’t too dark for you, the coffee tastes sharp, the chocolate oozes love, you are happy. But the next thing you know is you are hit by something, a vague invisible gust of air, so full of weight and darkness that the same chocolate bursts of hatred, the coffee of gloom, the moon is too dark and the sun, senseless and blinding.

03:21 AM, is a collection of poetry trying to bring out these obscure feelings of someone who has no clue how to explain what they are going through, an appeal to make mental health issues just as easily acceptable. The book hopes that someone out there finds solace from the confusing conundrum of the verses and that it further gives a vivid picture of their torments and anguish to their loved ones. Together, we can acknowledge, accept, and overcome.

Genres: Poetry

186 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 31, 2020

About the author

Moushmi Radhanpara is a poet and a writer of multiple genres. She is the author of Posies, 03:21 AM, Resignation of an Angel, Posies Redefined, and Girl Woman Goddess. Her poetry has been published in various online literary magazines, and is a contributing writer for a few anthology collections.

Normal outside and a little complicated inside, Moushmi obviously holds a PhD in overthinking. But having achieved a Master's in English Literature and in Women and Gender Studies, she aspires to obtain an actual doctorate in the future.

She prefers living in a fantasy world, finding refuge in a mirage of words- reading and writing. Haunted by humans, Moushmi gets high on coffee and chocolates along with her best friend (books), sarcasm, and sunsets, while wondering how the world would look like if honesty and humanity were in trend.

Join her on her latest adventures and dark humour here. She promises not to spam you with overwhelming and excessive content:

Website: https://moushmiradhanpara.co.in/

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/moushmiradha...

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/moushmira...

Pinterest: https://in.pinterest.com/moushmiradha...

Twitter: https://twitter.com/moushmi_writer

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@moushmiradha...

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moushmiradh...

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/moushmiradha...

Reviews

[Laeba Haider | Readgret · Rating 5 out of 5]

03:21 AM by Moushmi Radhanpara is a collection of poems that are not only aimed at bringing to highlight mental issues, but to make those who go through these feel at home. To make them feel heard, understood, loved.

Moushmi has written every single word of this collection with a finesse and honesty that is unique, beautiful and simple in all its glory. Her words strike a cord, they make you feel heard. They make you go, 'Yes, that's it. That's what it is.' I know because it made me feel so.

I felt understood when I read:
//Seconds into minutes into hours
Turn wildly into vile days,
Further into meritless months,
To just as swiftly a trifling year.//

And when she said //For she hardly felt alive, But for her dwindling valiancy.//, I felt at home. I felt understood.

No, I am not a poetry person. But when Moushmi writes, I read. Her words I relate to, her restlessness I find companionship in, her friendship I am grateful for.

If you pick up this book, which I really wish you do, you will go through phases, that of understanding, of hope, of gloom, of strength and of power. As she says in her foreword, this isn't a certified solution to any of our problems, but it is a result of one of those, and may act as a balm for one too.

[Sonam Nagpal · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amazing, deep collection of poems that leaves a mark surely on readers!
Full review to come shortly.. 🙌

[Nektaria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now, let's talk about this outstanding beauty

"03:21 AM" is a gorgeous poetry collection about mental illness, the agony of life passing by and the struggle to follow it with a positive view on things.

There's a variety of types of poem that give the lyrics a different "mood", even though all of the poems follow the classic kind of poetry, away from the new-new kind of modern poetry of ''prose separated with space bars'', which I very much dislike and therefore was very happy with the classic style of "03:21 AM". So, some poems feel like a spontaneous, desperate cry for help that "hit" the reader right to the feels and that are super relatable for everyone going through hardships. Short sentences, that felt almost breathless to read and seemed so passionate. Some others consisting of more complex sentences, phrases and parallelisms that truly impress with the way Moushmi Radhanpara.
I enjoyed both of those categories equally since both reach the reader very emotionally, through the heart. Loneliness, fear and anxiety put in beautiful, brave words that I think will be the voice of people who relate to these situations, in the most touching way.

A few months ago, when I read the author's debut poetry collection, "Posies", I thought her writing style couldn't get any better but she proved me wrong! The lyrics just get deeper and deeper the more you make your way through the poems and some lyrics are truly as majestic as those of old, classic poets. Sincerely, some parts were magical and put me into deep melancholia, like poetry is supposed to do to readers! I found the poems to be the perfect amount of bittersweet and nostalgic I love to see in poetry.

It's full of beautifully written metaphors, yet the author didn't sugarcoat any emotions and used raw, hard descriptions of heartbreaking emotions and situations. I also loved how she handled sadness both as emotions caused by external factors and as an internal situation!

Plus, practically speaking, I loved to see variations between free-verse and rhyme from one poem to another.

I think my most favourite poems would have to be "The Wild Delirium" since I love poems that talk of youth and the sad realization of getting older, "A Modern Man's Heedlessness" because I loved how bold it was and "Lost Sobriety" which is so poetically perfect and , it felt like a Robert Frost poem!

In a nutshell, I just want to say that I found "03:21 A.M" to be a super deep and meaningful poetry collection of honest thoughts and feelings put into beautiful words by the poet's lyrical talent which seems to be getting better and better!

[Anubhab Biswas · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I sit here at my desk with the cursor blinking incessantly on my laptop screen in front of me, prompting me to come up with words, I realize that I have none. I have none not because I'm not fully invested in typing up this post, but because I'm still trying to get my thoughts organised, still trying to steady myself after a roller-coaster ride that was this book. I sit with the book cradled in my palms and my eyes keep darting to and from the ever blinking cursor to the book. A myriad emotions and thoughts stream through my mind. I try to make sense of them so as to get a better grasp on what it is that I intend to share through this post. I succeed, kind of. Of all the numerous emotions running amok in my mind, two of them stand out as the strongest - gratitude and dejection; the rest are just an amalgamation of these two. Gratitude for the poet for penning this extraordinary collection of poems and dejection at the fact that whatever I type up will not be worthy of this fantastic piece of literature.
I decide to go for it nonetheless.
What follows is the culmination of my months long interaction with the book. I am not much of a poetry reader, I must admit. I've always considered myself somewhat dense when it came to understanding poetry and as such haven't read much poems outside my school curriculum. So, when I decided to ask for an advance copy of the book, I knew I wouldn't be able to pen my thoughts for it immediately. I must also warn that since I'm not a huge poetry reader, what comes next will not contain any sort of critical and/or detailed analysis that one might expect for a collection of poems. Rather, I'll be sharing the impact that the words have had on me, and the degree to which the poems have moved me, and in the end isn't that what poems are supposed to do. Also I would like thank the author, the poet, Moushmi Radhanpara for sending me a copy of the book and for putting up with me as I made my way through it at a snail's pace.
If someone were to come up to me and ask what the book, "03.21AM - An Ode to Rust & Restlessness" by Moushmi Radhanpara is about, the generic answer to the query would be that it is a collection of poems that deals with mental health issues and tries to bring out the pain and suffering of people tormented by their mind out in the open, and in doing so, enable people to accept the validity and seriousness of this internal struggle. This would be a sufficient enough answer by all means, but it would be incomplete. There is no way to fully comprehend what the book is about unless one sits down and decides to read it for themselves. Only then will he/she/they be able to truly answer the aforementioned query. This is not just a collection of words that sound pretty when you read one after the other, it is a simmering pot of raw emotions and experiences, emotions and experiences that are an integral part of life. The poems, as mentioned earlier, center around the theme of mental health issues but it also deals with the agony of not being able to enjoy the various aspects of life with a positive outlook, something which has become an ever present part of all our lives nowadays. There isn't any aspect of the book that I feel could be improved upon as it is already a masterpiece.
Often when I talk about books here, I don't talk much about the cover. I've always felt that no matter how gorgeous the cover of a book is, it's actual beauty rests with what's printed across it's pages and this is definitely true for all the books out there. Obviously this is true for this book as well. But I do feel that the cover for this book, simple as it may seem, is a part of the collection of poems that follow. It's not just a pretty picture meant to serve as an envelope for the words within, but conveys much more than what meets the eye. The cover depicts a simple imagery of a person trudging through life, with the ever present darkness clinging to their shoulder, darkness that at one point seems manageable and in the very next instant becomes all consuming, devouring every little joy that life has to offer. The cover, in my opinion, manages to superbly encapsulate the overall theme of the book and once you go through the poems that the book has to offer, the cover becomes more symbolic and poignant, which only makes the book that much more powerful!
'An Ode to Rust & Restlessness' is such a powerful sub-title. It was this that captivated me the most the first time I laid my eyes on the book. It was the subtitle that prompted me to ask for an advance copy of the book so that I could try my level best to comprehend what it was all about. Rust & Restlessness is as much a part of our lives as is the act of breathing and the poems do an outstanding job of bringing this out. Every word in the book has been chosen carefully and this is not only true for the ones that make up the poems but also for the ones that do not. The FOREWORD to this collection of poems is one of the best I've ever read. Each word of it not only brings out what's in store for those who decide to read through the pages that follow, but it also beautifully encapsulates the prowess of the poet and her extraordinary ability to string words together in such a way that when you read them, it almost feels like a symphony to your soul! Here's few lines from the foreword of the book, lines which made me even more enthusiastic about the poems that followed.
"This book is a silent scream into the oblivion, rising from a soft murmur to a howl, from hopelessness to a small ray of sunshine. May someone find courage in the meaningless words that follow in these poems, and may someone find the force to recognize, understand, and be with someone who is on the other side of the ocean."
The book contains over thirty poems and it wouldn't be feasible for me to talk about each and every poem in it. So, I'll be talking briefly about the one's that have had an impact on me. Also, as already disclosed earlier, I am not an avid poetry reader and neither am I a student of English literature or anything remotely resembling something of that sort (I'm a physics student by the way, for those of you who may be wondering). As such, what follows next is in no way going to be any kind of a comprehensive and/or critical analysis of the poems in the book. So if you were looking for something of that sort, I am sorry, you'll be disappointed. If you want to know what my favourite poems are from the bunch and why are they so, then by all means, read on. The book starts out with poems that gradually introduce us to the mind of a depressed soul and the internal struggle that they have to face every minute of their waking hours, without any respite. The poems, one after the other, gradually bring out how their minds have become numb to all the good that surrouds them and how it can only percieve the bad. The poems bring about the emotions of the ailing mind and shows us how it affects their daily lives and how, on account of no one helping them to stand back up, to conquer the darkness, they have given into the said darkness. The poems also bring out how society's inability to understand the immensity of the mental health problems, forces those that are afflicted with them to don a guise of a person with a healthy mind in order to blend in and get on with their lives with as little hassle as possible. This leads to an increasing severity of the deprresion and finally forces the person to take the ultimate step to rid themselves of this darkness.
The first few poems in a collection play a pivotal role in setting up the tone for what follows next. The poem, THE FALL, is one of my favourites as it superbly brings out the raw emotions, the mental and physical agony of a person as they are pulled into the darkness of their depressed mind and soul, darkness that threatens to engulf everything and snuff out the teeniest spark of hope and optimism. The poem manages to exquisitely capture the myriad emotions, feelings and sensations as the person keeps falling into the darkness, little by little. The poem reveals their state of mind, which has been so severely compromised that even though they possess the knowledge of this fall and the inevitable destination that they're headed towards, they don't care anymore. This is brought out by the repeated use of the line 'I don't care', or some variation of it, throughout the poem. The body has been drained of it's last morsel of strength and now all they can do is give in and keep falling until nothing but the hollowness and the ache remains. I've been in such a situation once in my life and so the words of the poem strongly resonate with me; they're relatable. I'm aware of the pain, the emptiness and the dark thoughts that plague the mind, squeezing every bit of hope and joy. In the end it leaves behind nothing but just the shell of the former self that has finally become comfortably numb to the agony.
The poems that follow, all bring out the state of mind of the an agonised and depressed soul in a number of ways. In the poem 'Inferno', the poet describes how the darkness engulfs their mind like a 'raging conflagration'. In the poem 'Time' the poet has beautifully captured the 'ignominious pace' at which time crawls and how in the process, it blurs every little snippet of happiness that one experiences in this life and leaves behind just a vague remnant of them. The future unfolds and nothing changes except for human greed and selfishness. It talks about how people have become inconsiderate of anything in one's life that isn't directly responsible for their monetary success. Money is the only thing that matters and happiness, love and peace are nothing but 'a long-forgotten adversary'. A person who shares their innermost desires and fears and emotions is considered weak. Most open their mouths to either slander someone else, or praise someone without bland flattery and phony smiles. The rest have become insignificant to society. This poem reflects the thoughts and outlook of a depressed soul on society; all their agonized mind can percieve are the vices. I'm also a big fan of the poems, A Wild Delirium, A Callous Folly, A Punishment and One Heart. All these poems beautifully bring out what a person goes through as their mental health deteriorates. The poems have variation in their style as well, changing from free-verse to rhyme, which I loved.
I would ask each and every one out their to definitely give this gem of a poetry collection a read. I have no doubt that you will find it to be impactful. As a person who has gone through a phase depressive phase in my life, I can surely say that reading these poems will leave a mark on you; it will soothe your soul. Most of the times people going through mental health problems are unable to come up with words that helps describe their state of mind to the people around them. The poems in this book has definitely been able to put some of those agonizing feelings and torment into words and I commend the poet on her incredible grasp of the English language. She has been able to put into words all those deep emotions with such nuance and elegance. Finally, I would like to end this post by thanking the poet, Moushmi Radhanpara, for gifting humanity with this book of hers.

[Japneet (millennial_reader) · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Blood draining through her eyes
Pain seeping into her body,
Yet she forged a pleasing smile
Laughing callously at her own folly."

I started this book 4 days back and I'm already done with it even though it's a poetry collection (and I tend to read poetry very slowly). I guess that says how great this book is. I won't call it a sad book because it isn't that. It just echoes the sentiment of restlessness and decaying of us humans and the anxiousness some of us deal with on a daily basis. This is a book that you should read to understand how complex our emotions tend to be at times that no matter how hard we try we just can't make sense of them.

I just finished this book and I knew I had to review it right away. I rarely do this so you can assume this book is special. It's not your usual feel good, plot line following kind of novel. It's a book that you can relate to on your darkest days, a book that you can turn to when you feel 'Why me?' to feel that you're not alone.

These poems address obscure feelings, and urges us to understand and normalise mental health issues which I think we should definitely do. It's high time we did that. The poems will help you understand yourself better and get in touch with your feelings and the side that you try to keep hidden from the world. I think everyone should read it to understand what really goes on in your mind.

[Vishal Mehta]

Mental health. These two little words can carry such a stifling stigma with them and this book surely makes us understand that.
A book depicting mental health struggles through the art of poetry. Moushmi Radhanpara describes it through her passion for creative writing. The book offers a raw, authentic documentation of struggle, triumph, and living with anxiety and depression.

Out of all the poems in this book, my personal favorites are: "The wild delerium", "Time", "In the dead of Night", "Illusion or authenticity", "Fate's lieutenant", "Emptiness", "The feud" and "The guilt".

Through her poems she finds reciting lines of poetry is grounding, validating and connects her to others who have felt as she is feeling in this moment. And it’s something we can all do: poetry we’ve learned to recite means we have another voice inside us that’s always there, a kind of on-board first responder in times of psychological need.

Overall, this is a must-read collection of poems that really provides such a descriptive insight into what a person suffering from mental illness endures. I love the rhythm and rhyme of your poems and the simplicity with which you express yourself.

[Pallavi NP Verma · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not sure if you gave a part of yourself to your readers, but you gave me a part of myself through your words. It takes courage to put the pain in words and you did a splendid job here.

Talk to me, I would love to talk. I can speak endlessly, but this has taken time for me and it will take more. I still struggle to face people, for the reasons that are buried in the past. Reading 03:21 AM, took me there. The journey starting from 20s, the people you meet. The scars they leave. The situations that turn against you, the situations that mould you, that silliness you do. This book has the account of all those nights. Nights that would not allow you to rest, nights that were lonely. The days that were dry.

I can not chose my favourite from your collection. "The Traveler" or "An Elf without you" , there are many. Many of them that I felt on the darkest of nights.

Among many lines that touched me, I am writing just one here...

"But I am a mortal after all
I run after you, I befall,
If I don't run after you
My subsistence seems adieu"

[ROSHNI SATHYADAS · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book talks about mental health issues. The collection of poems is a revelation on how does it feel, how does it hurt and what are the expectations?

This is genuine and bitter. It is so real and lets your emotions rise and fall with her words. Such a deep, sensitive poetry collection. I hate it for the throb that it is giving my mind and I love it for what it is telling us and for everything else.

My favourite is – A lost feeling & Unlearning. The most relatable one is – Look at the Happy Me & My Failed Glories.

I highly recommend this collection of poems.🖤❤

[Yamini Adeshra · Rating 5 out of 5]

03:21 AM: An Ode to Rust & Restlessness is not only breath taking but also so powerful that it will rip your heart out and saunter the words onto paper. The book is dedicated to "Everyone who thinks I am writing about them; I am" The author sure knows how to touch the hidden pulses of people who go through so many emotions on a day to day basis. The books is as simple, and as cryptic. It is you and I. Beautiful, sad and yet I recommend to everyone. Read.

[Raj Ranpara · Rating 5 out of 5]

An ode to rust and restlessness, the subtitle itself is so powerful that it forces you to wonder what could rust bring to our lives, or what benefit could we derive from restlessness. 03:21 AM lacks, if at all, then in happiness. It is so full of emotions, so breath taking that I paused and took deep breaths after every poem, trying to decipher reality from fiction. Loved it.

[Aditya Jain · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book was suggested by one of the friend and i have to say that it is the best one i have read in my entire life. The way author binds the reader is best in class. Would definitely recommend to everyone and surely i am going to reading more of her work.

[Mihir · Rating 5 out of 5]

The hype around this book has been unquestionable and, admittedly, that made me both eager to get my hands on it and terrified to read it. I knew this one was a must-read, so I was ready to set my fears aside and dive in.
Go for it! 🙌✨

[Himanshu · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very simple but at the same time a very moving collection. 03:21 AM is loud and clear when it comes to making mental health issues a priority. The words move you, touch the chords in you as if they knew you as a friend. Read.

[Aditi Choudhary · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's an amazing amazing book. This book is a treat for all the readers out their.Its a collection of elegant, unsettling poetry that's concerned with the significance of everyday words, mental illness, meanings, and forms.

[Shantanu Chakraborty · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book deals with mental issues and the author has tried to deliver her best, not only showcasing the pain and restlessness through her poetry, but she also provided few positive sources when you feel so low and want to give up, this is a must-read book from me

[R. R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not every writer chooses to deal with such delicate issues and rather very aptly. The writer discusses the mental health issues very deftly and with utmost care giving her words to not only dealing with it but also those around them.

[Chinmay Nagar · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can feel relax and lightheaded after read this. Thanks for this moushmi. Much needed

[Shreya Garg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read. One of the best I've come across this year.

[Bhavana Maheshwari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Every one should read ones.

[Viral Patel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book as it informative

[Miloni Gandhi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book in today's time for mental health and awareness

[Krishna Thankey]

Loved the stream-of-consciousness. Read it without a break. Inspiring me to read and write more.

[TEJAS HARSHADBHAI · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book this is

[Dipesh Radhanpara · Rating 5 out of 5]

03:21 AM dealt with mental health issues brilliantly with emotions at the core. The content is breathtaking and touches the heart, soul and mind.

[Bhavika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not many choose to dwell on the theme of mental illness. The writer has done it quite deftly. Well written book.

[Rinkal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mental health and it's consequences dealt with, with such bravery and honesty.

[Pranav · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mental health is a topic that is not easily discussed. The author bravely fronts the topic and braves anxiety, restlessness, depresssion and so much more.

[Manali · Rating 4 out of 5]

The perfect mix of bittersweet and melancholy that poetry lovers seek.

Full review here: https://wp.me/p6XQyB-3Tk

My rating: 4.5/5
The 30+ poems in this collection take you through the journey of mental health and wellness. In a healing, melancholic, and sometimes harsh manner, they lend a poetic touch to this much-needed to be addressed health matter.

Quotable quotes:
-> Turn me into the ashes
Bury me in the depths
Melt me in the waters
Freeze me in the poles
Or send me as a falling star
Lost, forgotten, shooting bolt.
-> People walk over me
And I change colors
Like a fallen leaf,
Yellow
Brown
And the shade of dried ink,
Shattered and smeared

[Yagniksoni · Rating 5 out of 5]

03:21 AM at the outset is a small poetry collection, trying to make mental health issues a concern. It is after all the need of the hour. The short, simple and yet heart-rending pieces take you go through a roller coaster of emotions. Poignant and powerful.

[Deepika soni · Rating 5 out of 5]

My First read of 2021 is 3.21 AM by Moushmi, a collection of powerful words beautifully stitched together in form of poetry that you’re gonna feel it was written just for you ...
🦋
The book is written with pure intention of spreading awareness towards mental health which is still a taboo kinda topic in india🥺
🦋
At some point, I thought the words were just written to me only, they pierced my heart , i felt as powerless as i was in my past . I think this is the power of words & writer. Words can give us scars for life and heal our wounds too...
It healed me❤️
🦋
We can help ourselves and others if we educate ourselves first.
🦋
I loved this book very much, recommend everyone to read ❤️