Saints, Sufferers, and Sinners: Loving Others As God Loves Us

Helping the Helpers

by Michael R. Emlet

A friend feels rejected. A counselee is angry. A church member's child is ill. You want to help, but where do you begin? Author and counselor Michael R. Emlet outlines a model of one-another ministry based on how God sees and loves his people primarily as saints, while bringing comfort to the sufferer, and faithfully speaking truth to the sinner.

Filled with everyday illustrations as well as counseling examples, Emlet demonstrates what it looks like to approach fellow believers simultaneously as saints, sufferers, and sinners. Emlet unpacks Scripture and draws on his many years of counseling experience to help counselors, pastors, and friends love others wisely and well.

As part of CCEF's Helping the Helper series, this guide for ministry provides an overall framework for wisely helping any person by loving others in the same way that God loves us.

Genres: Counselling, Christian, Christian Living, Theology, Christianity, Faith, Nonfiction

176 pages, Paperback

Published January 25, 2020

About the author

Michael R. Emlet, M.Div., M.D., practiced as a family physician for twelve years before becoming a counselor and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF).

Reviews

[Walter Shaw - · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are in Christ, you are a saint. You are a member of royal priesthood, a holy nation, and a people for God’s own possession.

You are also a sufferer living in a fallen world. We, along with the creation, are groaning inwardly as we eagerly await adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

This side of heaven, you are also a sinner. “Even though the power of sin has been broken and the penalty for sin has been paid for us in Jesus Christ, continued wrestling with sin - war between flesh and Spirit - characterizes our lives in the time between Jesus’ resurrection and return.” (121) We are hurt people who hurt people and break God’s law.

Michael R. Emlet is a faculty member at @CCEFcounseling and his book Saints, Sufferers and Sinners is a helpful read for anyone who would like to become a better counselor or just a better friend. For each of the three identities that Emlet highlights, he highlights how Scripture speaks directly to them, ministry principles for loving them, as well as counseling examples and barriers to loving others as saints, sufferers and sinners.

If you are anything like me, you tend to view others in a very one-dimensional manner. Reading a book like this helps me to see that people are truly complex and loving them is going take speaking into the many different ways they are experiencing Christ, their own sin, and the sin of others.

What I loved about this book is that again and again, Emlet puts the focus on God’s word. God speaks to saints, sufferers and sinners, so no matter what you are going through in life, there is something in God’s word that applies to what you’re going through. Not only that, but God has something to say to the person sitting across from you, whether they are someone who has never heard the name of Christ before, or whether they have been walking with Jesus for decades.

After reading this book, I was left wanting more! At less than 200 pages of very short chapters, I think there is room for Emlet to expand even further on the ideas he lays out in this book. He references his previous book, Crosstalk, a few times, so that one is certainly on my list to check out in the future!

[Werner Braun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Saints, Sufferers, and Sinners von Michael R. Emlet ist eines dieser Bücher, das nicht durch Komplexität beeindruckt, sondern durch Klarheit, Tiefe und unmittelbare Anwendbarkeit. Es ist hervorragend strukturiert und zugleich erstaunlich zugänglich.

Das Buch gliedert sich in fünf Teile:
1. Menschen verstehen
2. Andere als Heilige lieben
3. Leidende lieben
4. Sünder lieben
5. Das Gleichgewicht halten

Insgesamt umfasst es 27 kurze Kapitel, die sich sehr gut lesen lassen und dennoch inhaltlich dicht sind. Besonders stark ist dabei die Verbindung aus biblischer Fundierung und praktischer Seelsorge. Emlet arbeitet mit vielen konkreten Beispielen, die immer wieder die Frage aufwerfen: Wie würde ich in dieser Situation handeln?

Ein zentraler Gedanke zieht sich durch das gesamte Buch:
Liebe geschieht nicht abstrakt, sondern konkret – und sie muss immer auf die jeweilige Person zugeschnitten sein. Genau darin liegt die Stärke dieses Ansatzes. Es gibt keine pauschalen Antworten, sondern eine umsichtige, situationsbezogene Seelsorge.

Sehr hilfreich ist der Ausgangspunkt: Der Mensch wird nicht primär als Sünder betrachtet, sondern als Heiliger – als jemand, der in Christus eine neue Identität hat. Emlet macht deutlich: Wir sind Heilige, die leiden. Wir sind Heilige, die sündigen. Aber wir bleiben in unserem tiefsten Wesen Heilige. Diese Perspektive prägt den gesamten seelsorgerlichen Umgang und verhindert sowohl Härte als auch Hoffnungslosigkeit.

Gleichzeitig verliert das Buch die Realität nicht aus dem Blick. Menschen leiden wirklich – tief und existenziell. Besonders stark ist hier der Abschnitt über den Umgang mit Leid. Emlet betont, dass es keine „Leidenshierarchie“ gibt. Das Leid eines Menschen ist für ihn real und schwer – und darf niemals relativiert oder vorschnell beantwortet werden. Der „Dienst der Gegenwart“ – einfach da sein, zuhören, mittragen – wird zu Recht als zentral hervorgehoben.

Ebenso ausgewogen ist der Umgang mit Sünde. Emlet hält klar fest: Wir sind nicht nur Opfer, sondern auch Täter. Wir leiden – und wir fügen Leid zu. Daraus ergibt sich eine Seelsorge, die weder verharmlost noch verurteilt, sondern auf Wiederherstellung abzielt. Liebe bleibt das Motiv, Rettung das Ziel.

Besonders wertvoll fand ich den Fokus auf Gottes Gnade im Leben anderer. Emlet fordert dazu heraus, bewusst nach Spuren von Gottes Wirken zu suchen und diese anzusprechen. Gerade hier liegt eine oft übersehene Schwäche in christlichen Kontexten: Wir sind schnell im Korrigieren, aber zurückhaltend im Ermutigen. Sein Satz über „geizige, verurteilende Herzen“ trifft hier sehr ins Schwarze.

Auch die Einbindung der Gemeinde ist stark: Heiligung ist kein individuelles Projekt, sondern geschieht im Kontext von Beziehungen und im Leben der Ortsgemeinde. Seelsorge ist damit nie isoliert, sondern immer Teil des gemeinsamen Weges.

Positiv hervorzuheben ist außerdem, dass schwierige Themen wie Missbrauch nicht ausgeklammert werden. Emlet nimmt solche Realitäten ernst und spricht sie klar an.

Das Buch ist durchgehend christologisch geprägt. Immer wieder wird der Blick auf Christus gelenkt – als Zentrum, als Hoffnung, als Maßstab. Am Ende steht die Perspektive des Eskatons: die Wiederherstellung aller Dinge, die Aufhebung von Leid und die Vollendung dessen, was hier oft nur bruchstückhaft sichtbar wird.

Kleine Einschränkung: An manchen Stellen hätte man sich noch mehr Tiefe oder ausführlichere Ausarbeitung gewünscht. Aber gemessen am Umfang ist das Buch erstaunlich rund und gehaltvoll.

Fazit:
Ein hervorragend strukturiertes, biblisch fundiertes und praktisch extrem hilfreiches Buch über Seelsorge. Klar, ausgewogen, ermutigend – und gleichzeitig ehrlich im Blick auf Leid und Sünde. Für jeden, der Menschen begleiten will, absolut empfehlenswert.

[Abbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book!! It’s theological and practical, offering a wholistic view of people as (image bearers), saints, sufferers, and sinners. Saints need to be reminded of who they are in Christ, sufferers need comfort/encouragement, and sinners need conviction. Believers are all three of these at the same time, though one aspect might be more helpful to focus on at various times. We cannot neglect one aspect but must remember all three as we love people. I recommend this book if you’re wanting to grow in a biblical view of people and/or grow in counseling in a more balanced way! (I listened to the audiobook.)

[Eleasa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommended! Both practical and perspective-changing on how to understand people -- all people! Gleaned from and enriched by Scripture, it is also refined by the wisdom of an experienced & humble counsellor, father, husband, and friend. A must read for any Christian.

[Bo Ties · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! A good paradigm to remember when ministering to others.

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

My name is in this book lol

[Derek Woodall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I gave the book four stars, I’d give five stars to the title. Emlet highlights the believer’s primary identity in Scripture as a “saint.” When caring for other believers, this is the lens through which we should see them first and foremost. Then, there are the daily effects of suffering and sin—both from within and from without. These three identity markers shape the way one counsels, teaches, and understands identity.

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was really blessed by this book - helped me to view my family in Christ more holistically and remember that even though we are complex, we all share in being saints, sufferers and sinners. Remembering these three aspects of human experience help us to move towards each other, rather than away. I really loved the encouragement to have a ‘benedictory stance’ towards each other, alongside a willingness to enter into suffering and understand the heart issues behind sin. I also found I could apply much of this to parenting which was an unexpected bonus of the book. Highly recommend!

[Julia Tucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this for a class through church and it provided simple yet profound truth as to how to draw near to others through a Biblical Counseling lens.

One of my favorite quotes came from the end of the book. Emlet quoted and wrote, “David Powlison once said, “True wisdom is not marked by a simple accumulation of knowledge, but by a growing ability to hold together complementary biblical truths without allowing any one of them to be eclipsed.” Ministering wisely means that we hold all three aspects of human experience (sainthood, suffering, and sin) together even if at a given time, we focus on one because that is most needed for the person in front of us.

Really helps to reflect on your own faith and how to listen and love other members of the Body of Christ.

[Andrea G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book! I listened to this and truly appreciated the authors Biblical perspective-approach believers as SAINTS first, not sinners. Grace. Grace. Grace.

[Wagner Floriani · Rating 5 out of 5]

2nd go around, and it is quickly becoming one of my top 3 counseling books.

[Cameron · Rating 5 out of 5]

“a friend is someone who helps you re-narrate your life in light of the good news of Jesus Christ”

[Alistair Chalmers · Rating 5 out of 5]

The church should be a place where people find comfort, where people find a family and where people are cared for. Caring for others within the church is not a job reserved for the paid staff of a church. Caring for each other is the job of every Christian. We are one body, called to labour alongside each other and act as a family should. This will man that you’ll be confronted with situations and people who need care but you might feel out of your depth. Here’s something to help…

In this book Emlet, a Christian counsellor with CCEF, helps you think about how to love the people that God has put alongside you in church. The book is written to equip Christians to love one another better. The target audience of this book is those in ministry, however, I think that every Christian who reads it would find it very helpful. Emlet begins by saying that in the Bible God reveals that He ministers to His people as;

Saints who need confirmation of their identity as children of God,
Sufferers who need comfort in the midst of their affliction, and
Sinners who need challenge to their sin in light of God’s redemptive mercies.

“Saint, sufferer, and sinner. All three of these are simultaneously true of every Christian you meet. If this is the way God sees and loves his people, then we should do the same, using these broad biblical categories to guide our overall approach to the people in our lives. They are signposts for wise love. They help you to prioritize one-another ministry, whether it’s to your friend, husband, wife, roommate, child, coworker, or counselee.”

The book is split into 5 parts. Part one give you the foundational work on how to understand people and it unpacks the ‘identities’ above (saints, sufferers and sinners). Part two explores how to care for other Christians as saints. Part three is all about how to care for the sufferer, filled with examples and helpful advice throughout. Part four is about how to love fellow believers as sinners. Part five is about how to maintain a balance as you care for others and to not focus too much on one particular ‘identity’.

Parts 2-4 each take the same pattern;

Speaking of how the Bible addresses the person as saint, sufferer or sinner.
Biblical examples of how God loves the person.
The particular priorities that would help each individual person.
Everyday examples of what that could look like.
Counselling examples of what that could look like.
An exploration of some of the barriers to loving each person.

This book is very practical, it’s full of sound biblical advice and it’s got so many stories of how the Lord has done wonderful things in people’s lives because Christians stepped up and cared for one another. It’s so easy to look at other people and think that there situation is simple, easy to fix. However, that can be the result of an over simplified view of humanity. The reality is that we are messy people and that doesn’t stop when we become Christians. This book is a call to love each other well. Something that we definitely need reminding of often.

As I finished this book I wanted there to be more, it got the balance just right of giving you enough information and insight without overloading you. It was a really helpful read and I would recommend it to you if you’re in ministry and you’re confronted daily with caring for church members in a wide variety of situations.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michael Emlet has brought his biblical wisdom and counselling skills together to create this fantastic resource for anyone who wants to pastorally care in a balanced and nuanced way.
Whether you minister to others in your personal circles, your ministry, or in a more formal counselling space, he provides a short yet comprehensive way to consider our approach to people and the complexity of their lives.

His first book CrossTalk introduced the idea of people as saints, sufferers and sinners, and this develops that concept in more depth. He addresses each category in order: how scripture speaks to it, how God loves them, and how we love people in these categories in everyday and counselling contexts. All of these chapters were biblical, wise, helpful, logically structured, and easy to read and digest. The barriers to loving others were particularly insightful in each category, considering why we might find it hard to encourage saints, note suffering or challenge sin. My only issue was that I wanted more detail in some areas.

In almost every case, Emlet encourages us to start with people as saints. Consider the good, consider how God is at work in them. Our identity is shaped by our relationship with God, and so our designation as saint is more foundational than sufferer or sinner.

Emlet finishes with considering what balance looks like as we hold the triad of saint, sufferer and sinner together, and explores the risks when one is overemphasised over the other. He leaves the reader with the hope and promise of the day to come when we will only be saints, no longer sufferers or sinners.

This is an excellent book for anyone wanting to love and counsel others in a well-rounded, biblically grounded, caring way that desires growth and change in the context of a living relationship with our saviour God.

For a more detailed review, see https://musingsinadelaide.blogspot.com

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, excellent book focusing on the three facets of every believer (sufferer, sinner and saint)! This is a must-read for every believer since we often are prone to judgment and pride when we are called to love! Emlet always brings back our eyes to the part in us that is being progressively sanctified, teaching us how to wisely approach the sin and the suffering while reminding the person of who they are in Christ!

[Joan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Your friend from church needs some help. You're not a counselor so what do you say? How do you act? Emlet gives us valuable instruction in this book on helping others. While the Bible is not specific, it does give foundational ways to understand and help others. He notes early that what he teaches in this book is primarily for helping fellow believers.

Emlet says every person needing your counsel is facing one of two issues. Every person is struggling with identity at some level which also knowing one's purpose. Every person is struggling with evil on some level, either done to them (suffering) or from within (sin).

How God ministers to His people is the model. We are saints who need confirmation of our identity as children of God. We are sufferers who need comfort in our affliction. We are sinners who need to challenge our sin in light of God's mercy.

Here is a concept I found particularly insightful. With regard to identity, we forget who we are and need to be reminded we are saints loved by God and indwelt by the Holy Spirit. A surprise for me was Emlet noting that we might have difficulty helping someone because we are not living our identity in Christ. That was thought provoking.

Emlet's suggestions are so biblical. In helping those suffering, for example, he looks at how Jesus approached those suffering. He did not compare a person's suffering with that of another. He never gave an explanation for the suffering. Those are two areas where I have missed properly helping another.

I am impressed with the teaching in this book. It is focused on how God approaches these issues and is quite practical. He includes many examples of his own work so we get a good feel for how this helping others is done. I highly recommend this book to every Christian.

I received a complimentary digital copy of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.

[Kyle · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title does all the heavy lifting here, and I was unfortunately underwhelmed by the amount of nuance/depth beyond the title. It could be that I’m not the target audience for the book. As a volunteer with youth ministry this book was recommended as a framework for working with youth, and I agree the framework is useful. What was less useful was the emphasis on examples rather than on practical strategies for engaging with each of these categories in harmony with one another. There’s a brief chapter on this at the end, but it all seems to be very vague and descriptive, without much practical implementation. Again, the categories of the title seem useful; unfortunately I did not find the book itself compelling beyond that point. I do hope to employ this framework, and I may end up returning to the book as a reference, in which case I may find my initial read was lacking.

[Christa Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, highly recommend! Helpful as we look towards each other in love, to those we seek to encourage, help and be in relationship with.

Pg 22 “ unlike worldly sources and definitions of identity, our identity and inheritance in Christ never fades.”

Pg 41 when encouraging saints in their suffering or in fighting sin : “In a believer, there is always something redemptive to notice and to celebrate.”

Pg 68 “ This is where history is going; in the new heavens and earth there will be no crying or pain. So, when we seek to bring relief from suffering now, we are in step with God’s plan of redemption.”

Pg 129 “ God does not reveal what he does not intend to heal.”

Pg 130 speaking of the rich young ruler: “Jesus loved him enough to reveal his heart.”

[Willow Grimaldi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely adored this book. There was so many practical and helpful scriptures especially when in ministry. This book also came at the perfect time within my ministry as it was referencing problems and opportunities I was encountering.

What I really appreciated about this book was that it was written in the lens of others focused, how can we love someone who is a saint, sufferer, and sinner, all at the same time. It broke down barriers of only looking at someone as one of those three, and helped guide my eyes to see that all three are happening simultaneously. I highly recommend to anyone in a discipleship relationship, or those who are struggling to love others when you can only see their sin. I found both of those topics well expressed in this book. 10/10.

[Christian Barrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

A counseling book that dives into the theological complexities of the now and not yet reality of the follower of Christ. Emlet provides a guide for Christians in counseling and caring for those that God has placed in their lives by pointing out that any Christian is a Saint, a Sufferer, and a Sinner. By breaking down these categories he provides helpful tips in ministering to those who are weary hearted. The work as a counseling book is five out of five; however, due to the complexity of the issue of the now and not yet and the length of the book it seems that he does not articulate the complexity as well as I would have liked. Overall, a great and worthwhile read.

[Roxie Russell · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great read! A very practical and categorical perspective to sift through when encountering people and discerning how to love them best. If you are discipling or mentoring or speaking into someone’s life in any way, this is a great resource that provides a strong framework and a solid foundation of scripture. There were a few subtle and unnecessary jabs towards a shallow and secular view of psychology, but aside from that I thoroughly enjoyed and will be applying these practices!

[millie · Rating 3 out of 5]

there are many scripture references in each chapter, but the author moves so quickly that the text is not fully fleshed out. chapters were generally only 4-5 pages long! i thought it was interesting the author emphasized how counseling saints, sufferers, and sinners often starts with loving encouragement (not necessarily rebuke, correction)

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a gem and an ultimate guide to walk with others through life, not just suffering. I would call this a must read for anyone in ministry, but really anyone who wants to love others deeper. Emlet is so helpful in packing in Scriptural support alongside practical application. Highly recommend and will be returning to this one again and again.

[Benjamin Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good introduction to discipleship and counseling. At times Emlet's insights seemed rather common sense and straight forward. The overall premise of the book is very helpful to keep in mind as you have one on one conversations with peers and those you are seeking to mentor. You are always interacting with someone who is a saint, sufferer and sinner. I think that Emlet could have spent more time discussing someone who is not a believer and yet is someone who is still made in God's Image. Counseling someone like this seems to require a different approach than the one Emlet is suggesting.

[Glen Higgins · Rating 4 out of 5]

As the title states these three lenses (saints, sufferers, and sinners) are vital for Christian’s in leaning how to counsel one another.

The final chapters were especially helpful in addressing what we miss when we only have one of these categories and not the others, which is so easy to fall into.

[Danieltituscom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Micaiah Emlet gives biblical categories for understanding the contours of a Christian's life. He helps the reader to reinterpret and address circumstances in light of these concepts. Thereby, the reader is more equipped to come alongside fellow believers in their multifaceted lives and help them to the glory that awaits them.

I highly recommend this book to pastors and church people alike!

[Jordan Shirkman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful, encouraging, biblical guide to living and loving as a saint, sinner and sufferer. Easy to read and challenging yet possible to apply.

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

More aimed at a professional but still worthy read

[Emma Schramm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely practical and helpful. Not preachy or trite.

[Cherie Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book rather repetitive and designed for people who are going into counseling.