4.5 stars ☆
“ “If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” ”
Kill All Your Darlings revels in revealing truths about writing, the pressure cooker of academia and obtaining tenure, and the ultimate cost that the truth can come at. Madeline, a young, intelligent student with trademark bright red hair, writes an enviably shrewd novel for her college thesis, based closely off of real-life events, to such a dangerous extent that the manuscript itself could be incriminating. Bold evidence in a mounting crime scene that threatens to derail the lives of everyone around her. Especially when her English professor, Dr. Nye, steals her work, passing it off as his own, and publishing it, once she has been missing for an extended period of time, presumed to be dead, with no hard evidence suggesting her whereabouts one way or another. He becomes a prime suspect in her disappearance and the murder of her close friend, Sophia, who the book he claims he wrote, initially unknowing about its painstakingly realistic backstory, is about, all of a sudden finding himself in a hectic whirlwind of potentially catastrophic, self-sabotaging events that now lie increasingly out of his immediate control.
“I’m twenty-four now, and isn’t it weird I can remember the feeling of loss more than the man?”
It can be a lot of debilitating stress indeed to feel the need to accomplish incessantly, publish in a condensed hurry, all the while writing something all parts beautiful, profound, authentic, and lasting that will be treasured forever. And Dr. Nye, falling prey to his relentless grief and despair about previous traumatic life events, including the death of his wife and son, seizes the opportunity to relish in the praise that writing something deep and memorable, even if not his, generates. I could notice all the ways he feels a hopeless fraud as he gives advice to students about their own creative endeavors while his own writing remains stuttering and inconsistent. Writing can be a love-to-hate, arduous, heart and soul process, a reckoning with one’s self if you will, and I think this book strongly delves to the core of that, as well as identifies how it can be lonely out there with nowhere to turn for so many, and books and stories are portholes to feelings of abundant connection that can be lacking in someone’s day-to-day life.
“Who would have thought the most everyday things would be the most miraculous?”
We immortalize how someone makes us feel in our minds, accentuate the specifics of a lived moment or scene to craft our own observations that pierce and reach in necessary ways. That is precisely what is so valuable about the written word and how it strings us together and I think all these characters have a brokenness in common and also specific to their individual selves. They have to carve out ways to cope and process and that can feel alienating, overwhelming, and upsetting all in one and I thought the characterization was undeniably strong and alive throughout in getting that across.
“That’s the way it always is for women, isn’t it? Who gets to be believed and who doesn’t?”
There is also a harrowing climate of he-said, she-said brewing in Kill All Your Darlings, which outlines life-changing issues of consent and the importance of women being believed in sexual assault cases over powerful, wealthy men/the additional importance of speaking up or sharing difficulties whenever possible with those around you that you hold dear and trust. This book urges that there remains a steadfastness in sticking with each other through the tough moments, especially with our friends and family, the beauty and outreach of female empowerment, and listening to each and every voice because we all have meaningful, worthwhile contributions to make.