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The Pizza Deliveryman's Tale
Can a phone be haunted? That is the question for Dylan Murray, an aspiring actor who gets a part-time job as pizza delivery driver in the beautiful affluent Los Angeles neighborhood of Grantwood. All seems easy sailing until mysterious voices on his smartphone begin to interrupt his GPS, one of which, ‘The Demon Voice,’ deliberately misdirects him away from his route and into areas of danger. As his encounters with the quirky and sometimes bizarre residents of Grantwood continue, a mysterious thief known only as The Cat Burglar makes nationwide headlines for a string of high-end estate robberies in the area. Is it a matter of time before the malevolent voice interrupting his GPS leads him to the wrong place at the wrong time? One thing is behind one of these doors awaits Vampire Santa, and you will not like his presence. . .
- GenresHorror
339 pages, Paperback
Published October 24, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
December 27, 2023
TW: language, drinking, drugs, toxic family relationships, toxic friendships, depression, smoking, sexual assault, classism, death of spouse, death of sibling, c-word, gay slur, rape, animal death
*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:Can a phone be haunted? That is the question for Dylan Murray, an aspiring actor who gets a part-time job as pizza delivery driver in the beautiful affluent Los Angeles neighborhood of Grantwood. All seems easy sailing until mysterious voices on his smartphone begin to interrupt his GPS, one of which, ‘The Demon Voice,’ deliberately misdirects him away from his route and into areas of danger. As his encounters with the quirky and sometimes bizarre residents of Grantwood continue, a mysterious thief known only as The Cat Burglar makes nationwide headlines for a string of high-end estate robberies in the area. Is it a matter of time before the malevolent voice interrupting his GPS leads him to the wrong place at the wrong time? One thing is certain: behind one of these doors awaits Vampire Santa, and you will not like his presence. . .
Release Date: October 24th, 2020
Genre: Horror
Pages: 329
Rating: ⭐ ⭐
What I Liked:
1. Loved the atmosphere
2. Enjoyed the writing style
3. Short chapters that kept you reading
4. Some parts were gory
What I Didn't Like:
1. Some plot holes that didn’t make sense
2. Cheesy dialogue
3. Felt repetitive
4. Rump to describe a butt
5. Every woman hitting on Dylan
6. Barely any horror
Overall Thoughts:
I’ve worked at 3 different pizza places and the delivery drivers never just sat around on slow days. Most of the time they would fold boxes, answer phones, cut pizzas, or even clean at the places I worked, but at this pizza place they took naps and chilled out on the wall.
I didn’t understand how Dylan was able to leave the party not using gps but needed it come back.
What is with everyone shaking Dylan’s hand? I’ve never shaken a pizza delivery persons hand before and I’ve never heard of people doing this. Everyone just welcoming him in like they feel honored to have him in their house.
Some scenes in the book felt like they bordered on sexual assault. There were scenes where Roxanne was so wasted that she could barely keep her eyes open and she repeatedly said no to Dylan, but he kept pushing and pushing past her no’s to get to her saying okay. In another scene Dylan is attacked by a customer. He doesn’t come and say no but it’s clear in the book the doesn’t want it.
A lot of the story felt repetitive - deliver pizza, something weird happens (with gps & customer), come back to shop, wait, repeat repeat.
What was with Vic grabbing a new bowl every time he wanted more cereal? Why not reuse the same bowl? It drove me up the wall that he’d grab 3 bowls. What is Vic’s budget for bowls and spoons?
So Dylan rescued earmuff girl from some coyotes but I had to laugh because after seeing her pee from a tree onto the coyote and the coyote start to burn like acid. He then proceeds to follow her home and go into her house and have sex with her. I suppose horny men will do anything for sex because I would be worried if I had a penis about putting it in a woman's vagina who had just peed out acid. Just some food for thought. Luckily Dylan does not have time for those kinds of thoughts as she has put her rump into the air and that means go time.
Honestly I am just tired of every woman in the book throwing themselves at Dylan. Is the author saying Dylan is that hot or these women are so desperate they can't stop themselves from wanting to sleep with anyone. It felt like we have done this over and over with every woman.
Didn't understand Ella sleeping with Dylan and then saying she gave him an sexually transmitted disease. Felt like that part had zero purpose or point.
There's a pretty descriptive section talking about a woman being raped and him wanting Dylan to rape her too.
Why is there two Dave's in this book? That got confusing when DG introduced himself as Dave. I was thinking it was somehow Dylan boss but that sounded weird. Why two Dave's??..
Lorris shows up with the orange ball is squeezed. Like he is some golem that can just be summoned when the person needs help. None of how that works is even explained.
It's so weird to me that Dylan is trying to be an actor when be doesn't do anything with acting the whole time we read his story. It's never mentioned he even goes for auditions. What kind of strugging actor doesn't try for parts?
Final Thoughts:
So I was completely enthralled with this book. The author sent me a physical copy but I had to borrow the kindle version from kindle unlimited so I could read it in bed. I did not want to part from the story. I quickly grew attached to Dylan and the weird people he found around him and along his path as a pizza delivery man.
The chapters are short and leave you wanting more. I’d finish a chapter and say “okay that’s it I have to go to bed/do things” but continue being absorbed by the story.
I wish the book had a map of the town.
I wish I still felt that way about this book. The endless and pointless rape scenes made me mad.
I feel hoodwinked by this book. On the cover is a Vampire Santa and in the synopsis it says he'll be in the book, but I was on my last 30 pages before he really even showed up. This book should have been called "How Dylan got laid as a Pizza Deliveryman." The last 29 pages we FINALLY have an appearance from "vampire Santa" only to find out one page after finding out it's someone Dylan delivered to and there is no vampire Santa and just a normal man kidnapping women and cats. How disappointing.
IG | Blog
Thanks to Ronan Barbour for this gifted copy of the book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:Can a phone be haunted? That is the question for Dylan Murray, an aspiring actor who gets a part-time job as pizza delivery driver in the beautiful affluent Los Angeles neighborhood of Grantwood. All seems easy sailing until mysterious voices on his smartphone begin to interrupt his GPS, one of which, ‘The Demon Voice,’ deliberately misdirects him away from his route and into areas of danger. As his encounters with the quirky and sometimes bizarre residents of Grantwood continue, a mysterious thief known only as The Cat Burglar makes nationwide headlines for a string of high-end estate robberies in the area. Is it a matter of time before the malevolent voice interrupting his GPS leads him to the wrong place at the wrong time? One thing is certain: behind one of these doors awaits Vampire Santa, and you will not like his presence. . .
Release Date: October 24th, 2020
Genre: Horror
Pages: 329
Rating: ⭐ ⭐
What I Liked:
1. Loved the atmosphere
2. Enjoyed the writing style
3. Short chapters that kept you reading
4. Some parts were gory
What I Didn't Like:
1. Some plot holes that didn’t make sense
2. Cheesy dialogue
3. Felt repetitive
4. Rump to describe a butt
5. Every woman hitting on Dylan
6. Barely any horror
Overall Thoughts:
I’ve worked at 3 different pizza places and the delivery drivers never just sat around on slow days. Most of the time they would fold boxes, answer phones, cut pizzas, or even clean at the places I worked, but at this pizza place they took naps and chilled out on the wall.
I didn’t understand how Dylan was able to leave the party not using gps but needed it come back.
What is with everyone shaking Dylan’s hand? I’ve never shaken a pizza delivery persons hand before and I’ve never heard of people doing this. Everyone just welcoming him in like they feel honored to have him in their house.
Some scenes in the book felt like they bordered on sexual assault. There were scenes where Roxanne was so wasted that she could barely keep her eyes open and she repeatedly said no to Dylan, but he kept pushing and pushing past her no’s to get to her saying okay. In another scene Dylan is attacked by a customer. He doesn’t come and say no but it’s clear in the book the doesn’t want it.
A lot of the story felt repetitive - deliver pizza, something weird happens (with gps & customer), come back to shop, wait, repeat repeat.
What was with Vic grabbing a new bowl every time he wanted more cereal? Why not reuse the same bowl? It drove me up the wall that he’d grab 3 bowls. What is Vic’s budget for bowls and spoons?
So Dylan rescued earmuff girl from some coyotes but I had to laugh because after seeing her pee from a tree onto the coyote and the coyote start to burn like acid. He then proceeds to follow her home and go into her house and have sex with her. I suppose horny men will do anything for sex because I would be worried if I had a penis about putting it in a woman's vagina who had just peed out acid. Just some food for thought. Luckily Dylan does not have time for those kinds of thoughts as she has put her rump into the air and that means go time.
Honestly I am just tired of every woman in the book throwing themselves at Dylan. Is the author saying Dylan is that hot or these women are so desperate they can't stop themselves from wanting to sleep with anyone. It felt like we have done this over and over with every woman.
Didn't understand Ella sleeping with Dylan and then saying she gave him an sexually transmitted disease. Felt like that part had zero purpose or point.
There's a pretty descriptive section talking about a woman being raped and him wanting Dylan to rape her too.
Why is there two Dave's in this book? That got confusing when DG introduced himself as Dave. I was thinking it was somehow Dylan boss but that sounded weird. Why two Dave's??..
Lorris shows up with the orange ball is squeezed. Like he is some golem that can just be summoned when the person needs help. None of how that works is even explained.
It's so weird to me that Dylan is trying to be an actor when be doesn't do anything with acting the whole time we read his story. It's never mentioned he even goes for auditions. What kind of strugging actor doesn't try for parts?
Final Thoughts:
So I was completely enthralled with this book. The author sent me a physical copy but I had to borrow the kindle version from kindle unlimited so I could read it in bed. I did not want to part from the story. I quickly grew attached to Dylan and the weird people he found around him and along his path as a pizza delivery man.
The chapters are short and leave you wanting more. I’d finish a chapter and say “okay that’s it I have to go to bed/do things” but continue being absorbed by the story.
I wish the book had a map of the town.
I wish I still felt that way about this book. The endless and pointless rape scenes made me mad.
I feel hoodwinked by this book. On the cover is a Vampire Santa and in the synopsis it says he'll be in the book, but I was on my last 30 pages before he really even showed up. This book should have been called "How Dylan got laid as a Pizza Deliveryman." The last 29 pages we FINALLY have an appearance from "vampire Santa" only to find out one page after finding out it's someone Dylan delivered to and there is no vampire Santa and just a normal man kidnapping women and cats. How disappointing.
IG | Blog
Thanks to Ronan Barbour for this gifted copy of the book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Read
March 21, 2024A Horror Bookworm Recommendation
The Pizza Deliveryman’s Tale by Ronan Barbour
https://horrorbookwormreviews.com/
Dylan Murray has secured a job as a part-time pizza delivery driver for the Grantwood area. Equipped with his car, uniform, insulated delivery bag and a haunted GPS system, Dylan begins his unimaginable undertaking for his employer. His adventures or rather misadventures of a Pizza Deliveryman is a read to be believed.
The Pizza Deliveryman’s Tale is an elevated mind trip brought to you by the creative and talented author Ronan Barbour. When opening this pizza box of weirdness, I discovered an appetizing amount of subplot toppings with a blend of saucy supporting cast of characters. The beautiful earmuff wearing Coyote Girl, the Greek Devil Daddy and of course the appropriately named Cat Burglar, these are a just a few of the strange personalities that dwell within the pages of this urban horror novel.
Ronan Barbour definitely has a stand alone one-of-a-kind writing style. His bizarre scenarios, unusual pleasures and creepy AF encounters with good and evil is what makes this disturbing book so wonderfully strange. The Pizza Deliveryman’s Tale has a certain dark landscape vibe that focuses on the freakish underbelly of city living.
These true stories of the supernatural are vivid-trippy dreams that easily turn into nightmares. Where else can you find a vampire Santa or a demon voiced GPS without smoking a bowl or eating a pot cookie. My fellow horror readers, “You have arrived at your destination!” Grab this Horror Bookworm Recommendation and enjoy the unbalanced insanity.
The Pizza Deliveryman’s Tale by Ronan Barbour
https://horrorbookwormreviews.com/
Dylan Murray has secured a job as a part-time pizza delivery driver for the Grantwood area. Equipped with his car, uniform, insulated delivery bag and a haunted GPS system, Dylan begins his unimaginable undertaking for his employer. His adventures or rather misadventures of a Pizza Deliveryman is a read to be believed.
The Pizza Deliveryman’s Tale is an elevated mind trip brought to you by the creative and talented author Ronan Barbour. When opening this pizza box of weirdness, I discovered an appetizing amount of subplot toppings with a blend of saucy supporting cast of characters. The beautiful earmuff wearing Coyote Girl, the Greek Devil Daddy and of course the appropriately named Cat Burglar, these are a just a few of the strange personalities that dwell within the pages of this urban horror novel.
Ronan Barbour definitely has a stand alone one-of-a-kind writing style. His bizarre scenarios, unusual pleasures and creepy AF encounters with good and evil is what makes this disturbing book so wonderfully strange. The Pizza Deliveryman’s Tale has a certain dark landscape vibe that focuses on the freakish underbelly of city living.
These true stories of the supernatural are vivid-trippy dreams that easily turn into nightmares. Where else can you find a vampire Santa or a demon voiced GPS without smoking a bowl or eating a pot cookie. My fellow horror readers, “You have arrived at your destination!” Grab this Horror Bookworm Recommendation and enjoy the unbalanced insanity.
December 11, 2022
This book is exactly what it says it is, a pizza deliveryman’s tale. It starts right before Halloween and moves through to Christmas, telling details of his life as a pizza deliveryman in Grantwood, California. Lots of strange and scary things happen, along with a colorful cast of characters that he meets along the way. Some he will meet more than once. It was entertaining and made me continue on just to see what crazy thing would happen next.
Did Not Finish
December 22, 2023DNF at 30%.
I got as bored as the main character thought his date was, in the date scene I ended on. There were a few good moments in this book, the opening especially sucked me in. I was also intrigued by the GPS. But that is too few and far in between the padding of the story. I absolutely despised every character, so there was no one to latch on to to get me through to the grand finale.
His writing style isn't for me either. There needs to be more clearly defined page breaks in between scenes, as it does jump around from one moment to the next. While some moments are double spaced for a page break, some scenes were missed - to avoid that, some sort of symbol could have been added in between. A slice of pizza perhaps? There also should be more clear indication on who is saying what line. The last page I stopped on, if you had zero context on who was talking, was literally just dialog on top of dialog with no indication on who was saying what.
Clearly I'm one of very few who didn't like this, given there's so many high star ratings, but I just couldn't continue.
I got as bored as the main character thought his date was, in the date scene I ended on. There were a few good moments in this book, the opening especially sucked me in. I was also intrigued by the GPS. But that is too few and far in between the padding of the story. I absolutely despised every character, so there was no one to latch on to to get me through to the grand finale.
His writing style isn't for me either. There needs to be more clearly defined page breaks in between scenes, as it does jump around from one moment to the next. While some moments are double spaced for a page break, some scenes were missed - to avoid that, some sort of symbol could have been added in between. A slice of pizza perhaps? There also should be more clear indication on who is saying what line. The last page I stopped on, if you had zero context on who was talking, was literally just dialog on top of dialog with no indication on who was saying what.
Clearly I'm one of very few who didn't like this, given there's so many high star ratings, but I just couldn't continue.
Read
December 22, 2023DNF @86%
I know it seems silly to DNF this far into the book, but unfortunately I can’t continue with this book. The author reached out to me on Instagram to read and review the book. I agreed, hoping for a holiday tale full of creepy vampire Santa.
But what I got instead was a book full of pizza deliveries and every female character wanting to hook up with the male main character. Not to mention a few SA on our main character. And these are handled super lightly.
While a few creepy moments sprinkled in here and there, this book is not very horror driven to me. The creepy Santa is briefly introduced about 70% in… and at 86% we still haven’t seen vampire Santa in his full glory.
This book is just not the book for me. Every reader has their own likes/dislikes. I’m not trying to dissuade anyone from reading this book. Nor am I harping on anyone who likes it.
At the end of the day, I just can’t finish this. I tried my best to push through.
Thanks again to the author for reaching out to me and I wish him nothing but the best in his writing career.
I know it seems silly to DNF this far into the book, but unfortunately I can’t continue with this book. The author reached out to me on Instagram to read and review the book. I agreed, hoping for a holiday tale full of creepy vampire Santa.
But what I got instead was a book full of pizza deliveries and every female character wanting to hook up with the male main character. Not to mention a few SA on our main character. And these are handled super lightly.
While a few creepy moments sprinkled in here and there, this book is not very horror driven to me. The creepy Santa is briefly introduced about 70% in… and at 86% we still haven’t seen vampire Santa in his full glory.
This book is just not the book for me. Every reader has their own likes/dislikes. I’m not trying to dissuade anyone from reading this book. Nor am I harping on anyone who likes it.
At the end of the day, I just can’t finish this. I tried my best to push through.
Thanks again to the author for reaching out to me and I wish him nothing but the best in his writing career.
December 10, 2023
Dylan, the pizza deliveryman who's tale this is has not had the best luck until now. That is to say he is the most lucky, unlucky person there is. As his tale goes on it grows to be more unbelievable. His deliveries have put him in harms way before but the two final deliveries are jaw dropping.
The story and characters are entertaining.
The ending is scary and brutal. Would be cool as hell as a graphic novel. It feels like a pulp monster novel with a modern twist, which I adore.
The story and characters are entertaining.
The ending is scary and brutal. Would be cool as hell as a graphic novel. It feels like a pulp monster novel with a modern twist, which I adore.
July 6, 2021
I never thought ordering pizza would be so scary. Well, delivering it could be even scarier.
Ronan Barbour was awesome enough to send me 'The Pizza Delivery Man's Tale', his latest super delicious slice of horror novel for review.
The story follows Dylan Murray, an aspiring actor with a dream of making it big on the silver screen. On the way to achieve it, he gets a part-time job as pizza delivery man in Grantwood LA.
As everything goes smoothly at the begging, little does he know that s**t will soon hit the fan. And they do, in the most bizarre ways.
It all begins with mysterious voices interrupting his GPS on his smartphone.
The most nefarious voice of them all though , 'The Demon Voice', deliberately tries to misdirect him into the most dangerous areas of the region.
This new turn of events will put his life at stake as he interacts with the most 'vivid' characters a wild imagination can give birth to; including a certain thief called 'The Cat Burglar' and an ultra dangerous other, the 'Vampire Santa'.
Will Dylan find his way out of this mess, or will one of these pizza deliveries be his last?
One thing is for sure. What follows is an urban fantasy horror adventure that will keep you at the edge of your seat and Dylan in pure danger.
The author managed to put together a well written, fast paced, fun thrill-ride, sprinkled with urban horror and wonderfully weird characters for your reading pleasure.
This one has the feel of Tarantino directing an episode of Tales from the Crypt. Creepy, weird goodness.
This one gives you the lovely vibes of being the main character in a 90s video game. Well, since I grew up in the 90s, It was only natural to totally love it. Think of a blend of 'Wonderboy' and 'Ghouls n' Goblins', with pizza.
A great, fun, horror read. Perfect for summer nights and frights.
You could wait until Christmas to meet the 'Vampire Santa', but I suggest you do it right now.
After reading this, I guarantee you will think twice the next time you order pizza.
Get it at:
https://www.amazon.com/Pizza-Delivery...
Ronan Barbour was awesome enough to send me 'The Pizza Delivery Man's Tale', his latest super delicious slice of horror novel for review.
The story follows Dylan Murray, an aspiring actor with a dream of making it big on the silver screen. On the way to achieve it, he gets a part-time job as pizza delivery man in Grantwood LA.
As everything goes smoothly at the begging, little does he know that s**t will soon hit the fan. And they do, in the most bizarre ways.
It all begins with mysterious voices interrupting his GPS on his smartphone.
The most nefarious voice of them all though , 'The Demon Voice', deliberately tries to misdirect him into the most dangerous areas of the region.
This new turn of events will put his life at stake as he interacts with the most 'vivid' characters a wild imagination can give birth to; including a certain thief called 'The Cat Burglar' and an ultra dangerous other, the 'Vampire Santa'.
Will Dylan find his way out of this mess, or will one of these pizza deliveries be his last?
One thing is for sure. What follows is an urban fantasy horror adventure that will keep you at the edge of your seat and Dylan in pure danger.
The author managed to put together a well written, fast paced, fun thrill-ride, sprinkled with urban horror and wonderfully weird characters for your reading pleasure.
This one has the feel of Tarantino directing an episode of Tales from the Crypt. Creepy, weird goodness.
This one gives you the lovely vibes of being the main character in a 90s video game. Well, since I grew up in the 90s, It was only natural to totally love it. Think of a blend of 'Wonderboy' and 'Ghouls n' Goblins', with pizza.
A great, fun, horror read. Perfect for summer nights and frights.
You could wait until Christmas to meet the 'Vampire Santa', but I suggest you do it right now.
After reading this, I guarantee you will think twice the next time you order pizza.
Get it at:
https://www.amazon.com/Pizza-Delivery...
December 13, 2022
The Review
The first thing that stood out to me was the absolute mastery the author has over imagery through their writing. The entire story felt very cinematic and jumped off the page. The vibrant atmosphere of the Los Angeles/Hollywood setting clashed beautifully with the horrors hiding underneath the city. This was illustrated perfectly by the neighborhood of Grantwood itself, which seems beautiful on the outside but held great terrors behind closed doors.
The heart of this narrative was the rich character dynamics the author established early on and the haunting tone the story set throughout the entirety of the novel. The protagonist highlights and represents the unique backstory of many aspiring actors, working difficult and almost impossible jobs to help until they realize their dreams, only to meet loss after loss in the process. The wide variety of characters the protagonist comes across in his line of work, as well as his coworkers and even his best friend and comedy writer roommate, reflected the setting of Los Angeles and those who often call it home perfectly.
The Verdict
Thoughtful in its approach, haunting and chilling to the core, and thoroughly entertaining, author Ronan Barbour’s “The Pizza Deliveryman’s Tale” is a fun and twisted horror read. A perfect twist in the story adds the perfect holiday element to sink your teeth into as a horror fan this holiday season, and the dynamic storytelling the author employs here makes this one novel you won’t be able to get enough of from a stellar up-and-coming horror author.
The first thing that stood out to me was the absolute mastery the author has over imagery through their writing. The entire story felt very cinematic and jumped off the page. The vibrant atmosphere of the Los Angeles/Hollywood setting clashed beautifully with the horrors hiding underneath the city. This was illustrated perfectly by the neighborhood of Grantwood itself, which seems beautiful on the outside but held great terrors behind closed doors.
The heart of this narrative was the rich character dynamics the author established early on and the haunting tone the story set throughout the entirety of the novel. The protagonist highlights and represents the unique backstory of many aspiring actors, working difficult and almost impossible jobs to help until they realize their dreams, only to meet loss after loss in the process. The wide variety of characters the protagonist comes across in his line of work, as well as his coworkers and even his best friend and comedy writer roommate, reflected the setting of Los Angeles and those who often call it home perfectly.
The Verdict
Thoughtful in its approach, haunting and chilling to the core, and thoroughly entertaining, author Ronan Barbour’s “The Pizza Deliveryman’s Tale” is a fun and twisted horror read. A perfect twist in the story adds the perfect holiday element to sink your teeth into as a horror fan this holiday season, and the dynamic storytelling the author employs here makes this one novel you won’t be able to get enough of from a stellar up-and-coming horror author.
April 26, 2021
Ronan Barbour captures the spirit of a young twenty something trying to survive and make his way in Los Angeles. They say nobody ever kills themselves in Los Angeles because they never know what tomorrow may bring. That may not quite be true, but LA does offer a near infinite potential for magical experiences, and the incredibly dark and dangerous, and sometimes all it takes to unlock those potentials is a random turn down the right, or the wrong street! Barbour does a deft job of telling a grounded slice of life story that slowly but surely begins to incorporate elements of magical realism, and saves the balls out horror elements for a gripping climax.
Read
November 18, 2020What a ride!!! I feel like I am in one of Quentin Tarantino’s movie!!!
Read
December 6, 2022DNF - Page 152
December 12, 2023
🍕🎅🏽📱🚗 Review 🚗📱🎅🏽🍕
Title: The Pizza Deliveryman's Tale
Author: Ronan Barbour
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Summary: Dylan, an aspiring actor works a new gig as a pizza delivery guy in LA. His boss insist he gets a gps but the phone Dylan buys is far more than expect... possessed? Haunted? Either way, Dylan's phone starts directing him in a demonic voice to places he shouldn't be.
Thoughts: This was weird at times but in a very fun and amusing way. The people this delivery driver encounters are quirky at best and raging psychopathic vampire Santas at their worst. There are crude moments but they add to the voice of the novel and give character to the story. I enjoyed the dark humor and horror intermingling throughout. This felt very much like a "dudes" horror book lol. If it were a movie, I could see a bunch of "bros" just loving the shit outta it. I don't think it'll be everyone's cup of tea though. I however, grew up with boys and loved this read.
Title: The Pizza Deliveryman's Tale
Author: Ronan Barbour
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Summary: Dylan, an aspiring actor works a new gig as a pizza delivery guy in LA. His boss insist he gets a gps but the phone Dylan buys is far more than expect... possessed? Haunted? Either way, Dylan's phone starts directing him in a demonic voice to places he shouldn't be.
Thoughts: This was weird at times but in a very fun and amusing way. The people this delivery driver encounters are quirky at best and raging psychopathic vampire Santas at their worst. There are crude moments but they add to the voice of the novel and give character to the story. I enjoyed the dark humor and horror intermingling throughout. This felt very much like a "dudes" horror book lol. If it were a movie, I could see a bunch of "bros" just loving the shit outta it. I don't think it'll be everyone's cup of tea though. I however, grew up with boys and loved this read.
March 5, 2024
Dylan, a wannabe actor, is a pizza Deliveryman while crashing at his friend's place in LA. After buying a refurbished phone, his GPS is acting weird, changing voices, making him think that it might be haunted. However, the phone will be the least of his worries when he stumbles upon the cat burglar.
Trigger warnings: Rape, sexual abuse, abuse, animal cruelty.
I would not consider this book horror per se, as the bad guys are humans, but it is a thriller with a little bit of "magic"/ fantasy.
Although some of the stuff happening had me rolling my eyes,thinking the book was really written by a man, as most female characters seem to want to get with the main character, but for some reasons I couldn't put the book down. I wanted to know what more will happen to him.
Would recommend!
Trigger warnings: Rape, sexual abuse, abuse, animal cruelty.
I would not consider this book horror per se, as the bad guys are humans, but it is a thriller with a little bit of "magic"/ fantasy.
Although some of the stuff happening had me rolling my eyes,thinking the book was really written by a man, as most female characters seem to want to get with the main character, but for some reasons I couldn't put the book down. I wanted to know what more will happen to him.
Would recommend!
December 12, 2023
This book takes you on a wild ride through many amazing places, making you feel like Alice in Wonderland. It’s so trippy and thrilling! The main character is a pizza delivery guy who gets into all kinds of crazy situations with his sidekick and Sexy Possessed GPS. It’s hilarious and adventurous! I couldn’t put the book down until I reached the end, feeling a mix of disgust, sadness, and happiness. What a roller coaster of emotions. And it also has a Hot Magical Elf in it! Who Wouldn't love that?
Read it if you like:
- Cats
- Surreal/Mind Bending
- Possessed Object
Trigger Warnings:
- Grief
- Drugs
- Real-life bad behaviors of your boss/co-workers
Read it if you like:
- Cats
- Surreal/Mind Bending
- Possessed Object
Trigger Warnings:
- Grief
- Drugs
- Real-life bad behaviors of your boss/co-workers
August 14, 2024
If you're looking for a fun read then look no farther. I was expecting more blood and brutality but what I got was a story that was intriguing, entertaining, a bit creepy, and then full on brutal. It's definitely not action packed, but the main character Dylan wormed his way into my heart along with all the different people he came into contact with. You get magic and mystery, a little bit if romance, comedy, brutal and bloody scenes and the ending will leave you smiling.
If you choose to read this book seeing expect the horror to hit you over the head, it's subtle until you get to the end.
If you choose to read this book seeing expect the horror to hit you over the head, it's subtle until you get to the end.
August 14, 2024
I went in expecting a horror novel, but this is more a thriller. Dylan is a pizza delivery driver. We come with him on his deliveries and meet his customers as we go. Despite being a wealthy area, there are a lot of weird people. The ending brings together a few of them in a strange way. This book was far to long, but it was also interesting. I give it 3.5 stars.
June 23, 2023
Dive into the mundane routine of Dylan, a pizza delivery man. Given the nature of his job, he's highly dependent on his GPS device for directions. He begins to notice the voice on the device begins changing and he swears it's possessed by a demon. His life quickly spirals into a creepy & convoluted whirlwind of beautiful women, vampires, cults & the supernatural all within the backdrop of South Central Los Angeles. The dialogue driven novel reads like a high octane screenplay. I highly recommend you join Dylan on his journey.
August 1, 2024
My favorite read is the kind of book that you don’t stop and process, don’t highlight anything, don’t tear your eyes from … and this one hit the mark! I find that the books that I enjoy the most are ones that I go through and read a second time so I can highlight all the greats that I didn’t want to stop reading and document the first time around. First, the timeline is perfect because it starts just before Halloween and goes on to Christmas, two excellent holidays for imagery and opportunity to create vivid and realistic settings for the tale. The storyline was original, not like anything I’ve read thus far in life. I cant unread the things that were unleashed into the life of this pizza guy. And I wouldn’t want to. This is a brutal, intriguing and pretty insane ride along in a pretty insane situation. A possessed af phone starts messing with pizza guy’s gps and suddenly he finds himself in some pretty crazy situations. And the jolliest man in existence? Well, he has changed some.. 🎃 🩸 🍕 🗺️ 🎄
THE PIZZA DELIVERYMAN’S TALE.
This was an absolute pageturner and I will recommend it every spooky season!
THE PIZZA DELIVERYMAN’S TALE.
This was an absolute pageturner and I will recommend it every spooky season!
February 21, 2025
I really wanted to like this book. It’s got an awesome cover, an intriguing title, and it had great reviews - it unfortunately didn’t do it for me. I was left with so many questions and there were a ton of plot holes (was there even a plot aside from shadowing Dylan on his deliveries and the occasional date?). I think I was most disappointed about the vampire Santa. He’s on the cover, he’s in the prologue, but he doesn’t make an appearance until the end and it’s not at all what you’d expect - it was a big letdown.
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