Over the past five decades has emerged a very peculiar trend of feminism, a feminism which has reduced the whole of society to patriarchal dynamic, and whereas interactions between genders have been redefined as a reflection of power and control held by men over (supposedly) disempowered women. In other words, this peculiar trend of feminism has peddled the view that women, in whatever circumstances, can only be perceived as victims.
You see such view all around. For example, nothing illustrates it better that in the field of domestic violence, a field where every statistics and empirical data has been demonstrating that the issue is not gender based (about half of abusive relationships involve bidirectional abuse, the other half is split equally roughly between ‘battered wives’ and ‘battered husbands’) and, yet, the idea that women only are the majority of victims -and so men the majority of perpetrators- still holds firm in the popular psyche. Why so?
Patricia Pearson, feminist, crime writer, delivers here a powerful and compelling argument, going beyond the bonkers gender stereotypes still fed to us by a prejudicial culture, to completely destroy with a merciless logic backed up by science (criminology, psychiatry, anthropology, biology) such poisonous ‘victimhood’ narrative, which she sees as nothing but actually disempowering women by negating them a whole part of their humanity. The point made here is indeed that, by portraying women not only as victims and unable of violence, but also excusing and justifying such violence with all sorts of nonsensical reasons when it happens, we do more than serving the interest of gender exclusive feminists shying away from addressing extreme behaviours in women: we’re entertaining a deep-seated misogyny. For, at the heart of it all, this is what it boils down to: the view that women cannot be powerful enough to have control, that they are too weak, too meek, too submissive, too compliant to be anything but nurturing and so unable of toxic, manipulative, violent, dangerous behaviours (against themselves and others) is to negate women a will of their own, denying them an agency to turn them into passive little robots.
The examples provided abound, and the discussions surrounding them are enlightening. Women commit most of child abuse and child murders. They are as much perpetrators as victims when it comes to domestic violence as men. They kill. They bully. They harass. They rape (a quarter of child sexual abuse were perpetrated by women when she wrote this book). Yet, how do we handle them? We brush it under the carpet and completely negate their crimes (e.g. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome was ‘en vogue’ once, most of the cases being reopened, though, turn out to be infanticides…). We excuse it away by finding all sorts of exonerating reasons (e.g. domestic abuse perpetrated by female being framed as ‘self-defence’, in a twisted redefinition of what ‘self-defence’ really is about…). We patronise over women’s biology by reducing them to emotional yet pitiful hormonal creatures (e.g. PMS and their hormones being blamed in some cases -imagine men in courts blaming their deeds on ‘sorry your Honour, it was my testosterone!’…!). We disempower them by stripping them of an ability to make choices for themselves (e.g. female accomplice of male criminals being turned into victims themselves, as if a woman was incapable of deciding between right and wrong, good and bad, without the input of a man…). You get it, here’s not only a deep, hard, and cold look at female aggression -it’s also a compelling expose of how women get away with it all!
But does such ‘victimhood narrative’ truly serves women’s cause?
In the end, and as the author clearly demonstrates too, not addressing such toxic behaviours from women leads nowhere than to not helping their victims -women included. It leads nowhere than to not helping such women either -how many programs to help women abusers? Women in and out of jail? Women sexual offenders? In the end, by getting away with it all in the name of a ‘victimhood’ ideology, it also leads nowhere but to encourage such violence to go unchecked. Gender dogma based on gender stereotypes have consequences indeed, and such consequences are dire.
This is a controversial yet powerful argument, and a compelling book that anyone interested in gender studies must read (it became a classic on the topic of female violence…). Entertaining the view of female innocence and that violence and aggression are only the product of men (blaming testosterone, toxic masculinity, patriarchy and what not) is, indeed, certainly not being a feminist -it’s, in fact, being a misogynist, playing a gender stereotype game which, if it serves the vested interest of certain lobbies catering to some women only, ultimately, and catastrophically, backfire on us all. If we ought to pride ourselves in gender equality and an inclusive society, then it’s about high time that we bin the rubbish view that women are being made only of ‘honey and spice and all things nice’! Violence won’t be addressed if it remains gendered.