Spotting Danger Before It Spots Your Kids: Teaching Situational Awareness to Keep Children Safe

by Gary Quesenberry

Things change, and as the world becomes more challenging, we need to take the time to prepare our children. Not in a threatening or scary way, but in a way that is fun, engaging, and will give them the best possible chance of ensuring their own wellbeing. Spotting Danger Before It Spots Your KIDS is a book about presenting the concepts of situational awareness to children (ages 5 - 12) in a way that will keep them engaged and help them take an active role in their own personal security. This book will show you how to use fun, interactive games to build situational awareness skills such Whether you're a parent, relative, or work in the childcare industry, the things you impart upon children will have a lasting impact on the way they live their lives. Nowhere is this more important than in the area of personal safety. As caregivers, we have a great responsibility for the security and wellbeing of our children, and to guide them along the path to independence. Your child’s future success will depend on their ability to interact with their surroundings and make sound decisions based on what they see. That’s the foundation of situational awareness. Author Gary Quesenberry has spent nearly two decades working as a federal air marshal. The training methods outlined in this book are based on the lessons learned not only as a counter-terror agent but also as a father of three.

Genres: Parenting

168 pages, Paperback

Published May 1, 2021

About the author

Gary Quesenberry was born in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, where his parents taught him the value of hard work, patriotism, and commitment to family. His passion for the outdoors and patriotic spirit led him to enlist in the United States Army at the age of seventeen, where he served in the 7th and 24th Infantry Divisions as an artilleryman. Gary is also a veteran of Operation Desert Storm. Shortly after leaving the Army, Gary began his law enforcement career with the Federal Bureau of Prisons. He served as a correctional officer and Special Operations Response Team (SORT) member in FCI Beckley, West Virginia, and United States Penitentiary, Atwater, California. After the events of September 11th, 2001, Gary left the Bureau of Prisons to become a Federal Air Marshal. There, he traveled the world in the service of his country and devoted his time to studying the areas of violence and predatory behavior.

Gary has been featured on the History Channel’s hit television series Top Shot - Season 3 and Top Shot All-Stars. Now he's a situational awareness expert on the nationally syndicated show iCrime with Elizabeth Vargas. He has an extensive background in both domestic and foreign counter-terror training and has worked in both the private and corporate sectors to help educate others on the importance of situational awareness, and personal safety.

Reviews

[Jeanette]

"Any time you walk into a new environment, you need to ask yourself one question: 'Is the feeling I get from this place a good feeling or a bad feeling?' If the feeling you get from a place or a person is a good one, then there's seldom a need to worry, but if you enter into a situation and immediately get a bad feeling, you need to stop yourself and take a closer look at things. What is happening around you that set those alarm bells off?" (10)

"...once someone steps outside of the established baseline and has exhibited at least three abnormal behaviors, it's safe to assume that that person is up to no good. In law enforcement, this is known as the 'Rule of Three' because it rises above the level of coincidence and moves into the realm of suspicious behavior." (13)

"Avoidance and escape are your child's two best options when it comes to personal safety." (28)

"- When you walk into a room, make it a habit to identify all of the exist.
- Count the number of people in your area, be it a restaurant, train, or parking lot.
- When counting, make sure to look at people's hands. The hands are what can hurt you.
- When walking down the street, periodically stop at a crosswalk or storefront and take a casual look behind you. Count the number of people who appear to be paying attention to what you do.
- When you're in a parking lot, count the number of cars with people sitting in them. How many of those cares are running?" (33)

"Regardless of their skill level [students who attended the Federal Air Marshal Services training center in Atlantic City, NJ], the core curriculum remained consistent. We always started out with the basics. Establishing a proper stance and grip, then slow and steady draw strokes from concealment. Then we followed up by reinforcing sight management, trigger control, and follow through. This progression was repetitive and slow. If we saw something falling apart at this stage we would immediately stop and make the proper corrections and reset the process. Once the fundamentals were understood and could be performed properly and consistently, we started putting students on the clock. By slowly compressing the amount of time they had to complete a task, we would purposely 'rush' the student to induce stress. When the fundamentals of marksmanship could be performed under these minimal levels of stress, we would find new and torturous ways to increase the stress levels until we were certain the student could execute the basics under any circumstances. Only then were they allowed to move on to the 'advanced' proportion of their firearms training." (43) // brackets added

"But it's important to remember that our children view the concept of danger in a different light than we do.
Situation awareness and preparedness are a little unique for children. They don't have the natural defenses that we adults do. Adults ca hit the gym or the dojo to harden themselves up. We can legally arm ourselves, and we have a better understanding of how the world works in general. Children, on the other hand, are small and not very intimidating. They haven't developed that natural skepticism that most adults have about other people in general. Children's security comes from their ability to observe their surroundings, identify threatening situations, and communicate those threats to the adults around them. That's their best defense against danger, and it's important that we as adults give them the tools they need to properly develop those skills. That means that we adults owe it to our children to educate ourselves on the dangers out there." (70)

"Aside from adhering to safe personal spacing, there are several other options you should teach your child to consider when making an escape.
- Is there anything you can use to divert the attacker's attention from you?
- Is there any way to create an obstacle between you and the attacker?
- Were there any safe spaces you spotted in the area that you could retreat to?
- Are there any items nearby you can use against the attacker to create space?" (93)

"All children are different, but all three of mine loves this part of their training [role playing 'bad' behavior and yelling to help the child escape from a threat]. We had a large lifelike punching bag set up in the garage. I'd work with them on the proper way to throw a palm heal[sic] strike to the nose and how to deliver a swift kick to the groin. I'd let them scream at the top of their lungs while they attacked the bag. I encouraged them to be as aggressive as they wanted; nothing was off-limits. They had a blast doing this type of thing, but I always made sure they understood the context. These types of actions are a last resort, and they're to be used only when you feel that you are in danger. My wife and I have always been complimented on how sweet and polite our children are, but we're very confident that they could fight their way to safety if the situation called for it." (94) // brackets added

"Here are a few things you should tell them before you leave the house [in case of separation from a parent in a public setting]:
- If you've established a meeting point, get there quickly and don't let anyone distract you.
- If no meeting point was established, freeze. Moving around too much could cause you to become more lost. Mommy or Daddy will come to find you.
- Don't be afraid to yell your parent's name [actual first name]. Mommy and Daddy will shout your name too.
- Start looking for the 'good guys.' If it's taking too long to find your parent, start looking for someone like an employee, security officer, or another parent who can help.
- Make sure you remember your parent's first and last names, as well as their phone numbers. That way, someone can make an announcement to find them." (101) // brackets added

"When your children are with you, it's perfectly fine for them to say hello or interact with new people. You want them to be friendly and polite. Let them know you'll be right there beside them watching over the interaction. It's another matter entirely, thought, if your child is alone and a stranger approaches them. Tell your child that if someone they don't know ever approaches them when they're alone and starts asking them unusual questions like. 'Do you need a ride?' or 'Can you help me find my puppy?' to yell, 'No! I don't know you!' and leave the area immediately. Make sure they know to tell you or another trusted adult what happened as soon as possible to remember as much about the stranger as they can. I learned while working in the federal prison system that most child predators are regular-looking people, and many go out of their way to appear friendly, safe, and approachable to children. Instead of judging a person by appearance, teach your children to judge people by their actions. It's also important to encourage kids to trust their intuition." (102)

"'If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract, teach him to deduct.' - FRAN LEBOWITZ" (109)

"There is a difference between reporting, tattling, and gossiping. You can provide valuable information that may prevent harm either directly or anonymously by telling a trusted adult what you know or hear." (121)

"For example, suppose a stranger approached our kids and said something like, 'Hey! I'm your Dad's friend John. He sent me to pick you up from school because he got stuck in traffic and couldn't make it. Hop in the car, and I'll take you home.' In response, the kids were to issue the secret challenge word or phrase, which. might be something like, 'Can we go get ice cream first?' The correct answer would be, 'No, the ice cream shop moved to Idaho.' Something that no stranger could ever guess." (122)

[Ashley Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book for anybody who is a caretaker. Gary provides clear structured insight that is easy to follow with examples from his own experiences as a parent. This book explains the benefits of introducing these concepts through games early on. The result of introducing safety concepts this way is a confident child who understands situational awareness and a powerful mindset that is not full of fear.

[Heather Rodeck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing! Everyone with children or who watches children needs to read this book! The information provided is potentially lifesaving! Everyone should read this, especially with the world we live in today. I plan to purchase books for my family because, from the bottom of my heart, I feel this information needs to be shared. You will not be disappointed at all with this read.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Situational awareness is definitely a good thing to teach, for everyone. I felt some of the examples to be fear-mongering, which turns me off. This was somewhat ironic given that he said not to focus on fear with the kids. But the outline of what to be aware of was good.

[ArielleWicked · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book. Great opportunity to talk with kids about situation awareness & keep them alert without being scared.

[Keisha Monique Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

TITLE:
Anyone involved in child-rearing will find this invaluable.

REVIEW:
No parent or anyone responsible for raising a child wants to feel like they didn't invest in the necessary steps for guiding children in learning how to become active in their security. He provides structured insight that is easy to follow as the parent/guardian. Steps are shown with easy games and examples from his own family's experiences as a parent explain what is needed as a guide at the most basic level.

I can appreciate how he explains what parents/guardians need to use as tools. Also, how to present at different levels explaining what works and doesn't—even understanding how teaching certain behaviors at an early enough age will have a huge impact and can easily be taught as a game in the beginning. Those basics that he delves into and builds upon helps with behaviors that you would think come naturally as an adult need to be taught and reinforced early on. A confident child will know what to look for, and this guide is easy and fun to follow and learn.

Overall, manageable phases and concise chapters lead you as a parent/guardian in creating a confident child you have taught to avoid teaching fear by understanding one's environment with straightforward options that both child and parent can follow. A crucial tool that I would gladly share with all to read and put into motion. To further give credence to his teachings, the checklist summaries are a good guide and reference tool even though the book is straightforward. Clearly, as parents, they both have produced well-rounded, successful children. He wants to share the primary concern of safety by understanding situational awareness, setting up a solid foundation for both child and parent while teaching the aspects of that situational awareness. Everyone will benefit from learning without fear.