We Do Lockdown

by Miriam Elia

In Series 2a of the latest Dung Beetle Books title, Mummy, John and Susan go through an indefinite period of self-isolation during lockdown. In this solitary time, the children will be forcibly adapted to the 'new normal', where a joyless existence is heroically embraced to save humanity. The children will come to have no real-life friends, no education, and conditioned to see their peers as portable germ vessels.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Politics

46 pages, Hardcover

First published October 22, 2020

About the author

Miriam Elia MA RCA is a visual artist and Sony nominated surreal comedy writer. After graduating from the Royal College of Art in 2006, her diverse work has included illustrated books such as ‘We go to the gallery’ and ‘The Diary of Edward the Hamster,’ as well as prints, drawings, short films, radio comedy and animations. She frequently writes in collaboration with her brother Ezra Elia.

Reviews

[Cecily · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ten minutes of mild amusement, or maybe fifteen if you study the details, with a very British slant. This early reader style book features a typical “nice” middle-class family that is superficially like those in Ladybird books of my childhood, with Mummy always smiling - but in this, it’s through gritted, whitened teeth.


Image: “Evening virtue signalling”

There’s a lockdown because of Coronavirus, but Mummy can’t get a delivery slot, so they have to brave the supermarket, where there are shortages of such essentials as lemon grass. If you can’t relate to that, maybe the mesmerising horror of the news, (relief at) not seeing relatives, spying on neighbours, and the hypocrisy of rule-breaking are more your thing. There’s no mention of home-schooling, presumably because Elia has covered that in We Learn at Home.

The main narrative, in large easy-read font, is paired with relevant illustrations. The snark is in the “new words” at the bottom of each page and listed at the end:


Image: New words

Unlike Elia’s far better We Go to the Gallery, which I reviewed HERE, the humour feels weak and obvious, and there’s nothing to make you think beyond the horrid excuse for not giving to a homeless beggar because he doesn't take contactless payment, hoarding loo rolls, a clichéd parallelism of religion and the government using “fear and guilt to control people”, and an apparent dig at the “sexy rule breaking” of Prof Neil Ferguson (the UK government Coronavirus advisor who broke lockdown rules for an extra-marital affair - but at least he resigned, unlike Dominic Bloody Cummings).


Image: “Bog roll apocalypse”

NOTE: This is not one of the Ladybird for adults books, which repurpose illustrations from children’s books of the 60s and 70s with new text. This is one of Miriam Elia’s “Dung Beetle” pastiches, with new and original artwork and words. Dung Beetle’s key goal is simple:
“To embed core literacy and numeracy skills into children’s first knowledge of evil and death.”
For details of the court case Elia won against Ladybird, see my review of Elia’s We Go to the Gallery, HERE, which is much better than this.

I think this book needs to be darker and funnier. As it is, it’s both too detached from the reality of sickness and death that many are still experiencing, whether themselves, or those they love, and also not far enough removed from current reality to be funny. More than eight months into the pandemic, during our second lockdown, current reality is boringly, frustratingly, sometimes tragically familiar. (On a trivial note, why does Johnny’s hair alternate between dark brown and blond?)

If you’re given a copy, flick through it, then pass it on - in a socially distanced way, of course.


Image: Read at a safe distance

[Dani Dányi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Talán a téma tehet mindenről. Erről a tetű járványról lassan semmit nem lehet jószívvel röhögve elolvasni, ami hosszabb mondjuk egy mémnél. Sajnos Elia sem veszi a kanyart, érződik hogy dühös, és ettől a frusztrált indulatól alighanem, didaktikusan igyekszik üzenni az erre alig alkalmas oktatókönyv-paródia formátum repedései közül. Talán csak túl közeli még ez a téma, és 10 év múlva remekül elnevetgélnék rajta, de ez most nem derül ki. Viszont az illusztrációk szuperek, és bár gyakran nem sikerült igazán csavarosra kép-szöveg összedolgozással egy-egy jelenet, de azért a pár igazán jó poénért is már megérte elolvasni (ha karanténozni nem is).
Poénnak jó, de messze nem üt olyat, mint a Galériás könyve.

[Oriente · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kicsit elcsúszott ez a kötet a saját banánhéján. Az én ízlésemnek sok volt itt a túl keserű humor. De az első kötet annyira vicces volt, hogy még kitart az elfogultságom...

[Colin · Rating 2 out of 5]

About what you'd expect really. Good stocking filler, soon forgotten

[Sara Tilley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This IS Britain in 2020. It’s hard to give this tiny book the glowing review it deserves without seeming insensitive to those who have had a really bad year, but it’s very funny.
It’s our mindset which is being mocked, through very slight exaggeration, and almost every page is spot on.
I can’t wait to look back at this in 20 years time.

[Marie-Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

Satire that's bitter and twisted
... and rightly so!

[Brian Gowthorpe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding! Miriam, what a woman! And god knows we need satire more than ever in a time of Kafkaesque delusion. The time of COVID, the madness of crowds. She loves painting the wonderful pictures but adding the words brings genius.

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s like reading my own thoughts for the last 10 months. I’m laughing at the text but mainly at myself.

[Eteocles · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lacking the freshness of other books the've done (the best continues to be "We go to the gallery"), still has a few pages and sentences which are genius.

[Georgina Heatley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laughed! Naughty but relatable!

[Tweedledum · Rating 4 out of 5]

If anyone spotted me chortling in Waterstones in Leeds recently it was thanks to this little gem. Slip it into someone’s Christmas stocking. I hope someone gives copies to Boris and co….

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up in a charity shop. Like most humorous books not worth full price. But if you accept it’s a five minute read, four stars.

[Fabian Williges · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marvellous! Hilarious!
I would have needed it a bit earlier, though.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow this was great. Chuckled throughout the entire book. We have to laugh at these things looking back, otherwise we would just be miserable for the rest of our lives... Just what I needed!