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Mother Mother
Mother Mother is a powerful coming-of-age novel and an intimate family study. It's about finding light in dark places, and it examines the cost of unconditional love.
Mary McConnell grew up longing for information about the mother she never knew, who died suddenly when Mary was only a baby. Her brother Sean was barely old enough to remember, and their father numbed his pain with drink.
Now aged thirty-five, Mary has lived in the same house her whole life. She's never left Belfast. She has a son, TJ, who's about to turn eighteen, and is itching to see more of the world.
One Saturday morning, TJ wakes up to find his mother gone. He doesn't know where - or why - but he's the only one who can help find her.
Mother Mother takes us down the challenging road of Mary's life, while following TJ's increasingly desperate search for his mother, as he begins to understand what has led her to this point.
This is a gritty, affecting novel about family, grief, addiction, and motherhood. And it asks the question - if you spend your life giving everything to the ones you love; do you risk losing yourself along the way?
Mary McConnell grew up longing for information about the mother she never knew, who died suddenly when Mary was only a baby. Her brother Sean was barely old enough to remember, and their father numbed his pain with drink.
Now aged thirty-five, Mary has lived in the same house her whole life. She's never left Belfast. She has a son, TJ, who's about to turn eighteen, and is itching to see more of the world.
One Saturday morning, TJ wakes up to find his mother gone. He doesn't know where - or why - but he's the only one who can help find her.
Mother Mother takes us down the challenging road of Mary's life, while following TJ's increasingly desperate search for his mother, as he begins to understand what has led her to this point.
This is a gritty, affecting novel about family, grief, addiction, and motherhood. And it asks the question - if you spend your life giving everything to the ones you love; do you risk losing yourself along the way?
352 pages, Hardcover
Published May 27, 2021
173 people are currently reading
3310 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 244 reviews
April 17, 2021
I'm quite friendly with Annie. Its something she's totally unaware of,but we spend several hours a week together.
Have done for years.
And so I was excited to get my hands on this,but a bit worried.
What if its rubbish? Will I still look at her the same?
ITS NOT RUBBISH.
Its actually quite the emotional read,about family,what it is to you in all its forms,and how you will cling on to it.
I had my cynical heart tugged by young Mary,and almost laughed at loud at TJ demonstrating perfectly how we take those that love us and we love,for granted.
A very enjoyable debut.
I look forward to seeing what comes next.
Have done for years.
And so I was excited to get my hands on this,but a bit worried.
What if its rubbish? Will I still look at her the same?
ITS NOT RUBBISH.
Its actually quite the emotional read,about family,what it is to you in all its forms,and how you will cling on to it.
I had my cynical heart tugged by young Mary,and almost laughed at loud at TJ demonstrating perfectly how we take those that love us and we love,for granted.
A very enjoyable debut.
I look forward to seeing what comes next.
June 17, 2022
when you finish a novel with tears in your eyes and lump in your throat, you just know the author has done a remarkable job of getting exactly what they wanted to convey across. having known of annie mac's incredible career as a dj and all round powerhouse of modern radio, i tried to go into her debut novel with as few expectations as possible. ignorant to her irish heritage, i did not anticipate being catapulted into a nostalgic, heartfelt depiction of the belfast i know and love, that clearly means so much to macmanus' family. mother mother touches on the economic and emotional turmoil that is ingrained in the fabric of women's lives in the north, with heart, humour and so much soul.
charted through the story of mary, a young teenage girl who becomes pregnant upon losing her virginity, mother mother flits between past and present as mary's son attempts to find his missing mother. spanning almost four decades, macmanus engrosses us in mary's world and journey from a motherless girl to a girl who must grow up quickly in a society that lays stagnant and in the grips of civil war. after losing her mother at a young age, mary's father spirals into alcoholism while her brother sean can't stop himself from getting into trouble, culminating in tragedy after tragedy as the novel's timeline progresses. mary is a thoroughly sympathetic character and completely realised - macmanus amplifies every emotion without ever verging into dramatics. we can feel mary's panic when she discovers her pregnancy, as she realises how different her life is about to become. we sympathise with her mental health struggles over the years. we praise her independence and her unwavering ability to do right by her son no matter the cost.
i don't think i've ever read a book that so effortlessly conveys the monotony and social torpidity of women's lives in the north. i know so many women like mary, many in my own family. i think of my grandparents, my own mother, as they fought against a society that continuously fought back against them - women are consistently told they are not enough, they cannot change their own lives and must simply deal with the hand they have been dealt. although times are changing, these attitudes of classism and sexism are so deeply entrenched into northern ireland's political climate, social circles and ideology that oftentimes it feels like progress can never truly be made. macmanus has successfully captured a world that to others, may feel no different to their own but to those who experience it every single day, feels utterly unique to their community.
the story of the hardworking, parochial irish woman is one that is as old as time - you need only look back across the irish literary tradition to see it in action. but to encapsulate so many themes; mental health, mystery, teenage pregnancy and motherhood; with an infallible sense of nostalgic realism and heart? that's something that only annie macmanus has been capable of. a contender for my favourite read of the year and one i know i will revist again and again.
charted through the story of mary, a young teenage girl who becomes pregnant upon losing her virginity, mother mother flits between past and present as mary's son attempts to find his missing mother. spanning almost four decades, macmanus engrosses us in mary's world and journey from a motherless girl to a girl who must grow up quickly in a society that lays stagnant and in the grips of civil war. after losing her mother at a young age, mary's father spirals into alcoholism while her brother sean can't stop himself from getting into trouble, culminating in tragedy after tragedy as the novel's timeline progresses. mary is a thoroughly sympathetic character and completely realised - macmanus amplifies every emotion without ever verging into dramatics. we can feel mary's panic when she discovers her pregnancy, as she realises how different her life is about to become. we sympathise with her mental health struggles over the years. we praise her independence and her unwavering ability to do right by her son no matter the cost.
i don't think i've ever read a book that so effortlessly conveys the monotony and social torpidity of women's lives in the north. i know so many women like mary, many in my own family. i think of my grandparents, my own mother, as they fought against a society that continuously fought back against them - women are consistently told they are not enough, they cannot change their own lives and must simply deal with the hand they have been dealt. although times are changing, these attitudes of classism and sexism are so deeply entrenched into northern ireland's political climate, social circles and ideology that oftentimes it feels like progress can never truly be made. macmanus has successfully captured a world that to others, may feel no different to their own but to those who experience it every single day, feels utterly unique to their community.
the story of the hardworking, parochial irish woman is one that is as old as time - you need only look back across the irish literary tradition to see it in action. but to encapsulate so many themes; mental health, mystery, teenage pregnancy and motherhood; with an infallible sense of nostalgic realism and heart? that's something that only annie macmanus has been capable of. a contender for my favourite read of the year and one i know i will revist again and again.
May 2, 2021
I am a huge fan of Annie Mac as a DJ and is someone I greatly admire. When I heard she was releasing her debut novel, I could not wait and was so happy to be accepted for this netgalley copy. Mother Mother does not disappoint.
Mother Mother studies one family across a few decades in a non-linear fashion. The story has a split narrative, one following Mary McConnell and the other following her 18 year old son TJ. Mary has lived in Belfast her entire life whereas TJ is eager to see the world. One day Mary goes missing and TJ has to dig into Mary’s past to understand why she has disappeared.
This book is a beautiful study of unconditional love for family but it equally heart-breaking. MacManus writes sensitively but impactfully about grief, addiction and motherhood. Mary’s story of pregnancy and labour was so well done. It is hard not to become invested in these characters and their stories. They live ordinary lives, which are far from delightful. It is a story about resilience, particularly from women like Mary, and how actions can impact generations.
I adored the narrative structure and how Mary and TJ’s stories weave together. MacManus’ references to historical events, whether that be cultural, political or technological, are carefully placed in the narrative. Cultural references are not forced but are inserted naturally into the narrative. It can be easy to force references into a story to get a sense of place and space but every word of MacManus’ writing has purpose.
Like Milkman by Anna Burns and Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart, Mother Mother is a brutal observation of struggle and the complexity of family and community. Unlike Milkman and Shuggie Bain, I think the tone of the writing is lighter but still manages to bring the reality of ordinary lives to the forefront of contemporary fiction.
Mother Mother studies one family across a few decades in a non-linear fashion. The story has a split narrative, one following Mary McConnell and the other following her 18 year old son TJ. Mary has lived in Belfast her entire life whereas TJ is eager to see the world. One day Mary goes missing and TJ has to dig into Mary’s past to understand why she has disappeared.
This book is a beautiful study of unconditional love for family but it equally heart-breaking. MacManus writes sensitively but impactfully about grief, addiction and motherhood. Mary’s story of pregnancy and labour was so well done. It is hard not to become invested in these characters and their stories. They live ordinary lives, which are far from delightful. It is a story about resilience, particularly from women like Mary, and how actions can impact generations.
I adored the narrative structure and how Mary and TJ’s stories weave together. MacManus’ references to historical events, whether that be cultural, political or technological, are carefully placed in the narrative. Cultural references are not forced but are inserted naturally into the narrative. It can be easy to force references into a story to get a sense of place and space but every word of MacManus’ writing has purpose.
Like Milkman by Anna Burns and Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart, Mother Mother is a brutal observation of struggle and the complexity of family and community. Unlike Milkman and Shuggie Bain, I think the tone of the writing is lighter but still manages to bring the reality of ordinary lives to the forefront of contemporary fiction.
April 17, 2022
*Spoilers*
The book centres around the protagonist Mary and her son TJ. TJ was conceived by rape but this aspect of the plot is never actually addressed and seems to have been chucked into the book, amongst other things, to lazily add a bit of “edge” to the story. Mary is almost made out to be a villain for lying to her son about the whereabouts of his father, while his father is implied to be some sort of victim himself because he “has PTSD” from being beaten up by Mary’s brother after raping Mary. Utterly baffling.
Any aspects of the book that deal with mental health issues are also very over-simplified and unrealistic. Mary’s rapist is traumatised for life after being beaten up one time, while Mary (a friendless orphan, survivor of rape and domestic abuse) appears to be fine until she has a “nervous breakdown” and floats about in the sea for a day before being hospitalised.
The first half of the book was engaging and it all went downhill from there.
The book centres around the protagonist Mary and her son TJ. TJ was conceived by rape but this aspect of the plot is never actually addressed and seems to have been chucked into the book, amongst other things, to lazily add a bit of “edge” to the story. Mary is almost made out to be a villain for lying to her son about the whereabouts of his father, while his father is implied to be some sort of victim himself because he “has PTSD” from being beaten up by Mary’s brother after raping Mary. Utterly baffling.
Any aspects of the book that deal with mental health issues are also very over-simplified and unrealistic. Mary’s rapist is traumatised for life after being beaten up one time, while Mary (a friendless orphan, survivor of rape and domestic abuse) appears to be fine until she has a “nervous breakdown” and floats about in the sea for a day before being hospitalised.
The first half of the book was engaging and it all went downhill from there.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 8, 2021
As someone who can’t resist a bit of a sad story, I loved every second of this melancholy tale of motherhood.
Mary’s mum died when she was a baby, and since then her brother Sean’s always looked out for her as their father spends most of his time down the pub. But as she gets older, and the relationship between Sean and their father disintegrates, and both men battle with their own addictions, Mary ends up acting like a mother to both of them. And then Mary ends up pregnant unexpectedly and has her own boy, TJ, to raise, whilst still trying to keep her father and brother going. So it’s probably no surprise that one day TJ wakes up and can’t find Mary anywhere - after years of trying to mother everyone, something was bound to break…
This is one of those devastatingly simple stories which brilliantly captures the toll that loss and grief takes on a family through the generations. It’s a look at a fairly ordinary, albeit tragic family who have to overcome heartache and addiction - this isn’t a novel with one big defining moment or sudden plot twist, but one that captures the sadness of living with these things every day, and feels all the more powerful for that.
Mary is such a resilient character, carrying the burdens of everyone close to her and refusing to give up on her family no matter how much they let her down. At the same time, she is struggling with telling TJ the truth of his own father and that’s creating distance between them until she disappears and TJ finally understands how much she’s been going through. The story handles mental health illness and addiction in such an understanding and raw way, and is definitely a darker look at the dynamics of a family rather than an uplit type of read.
I thought this was beautifully written and tender - I found myself unable to put it down, letting myself get completely engulfed in this heartbreaking story. Yet another brilliant Irish writer to add to my auto-buy list!
Mary’s mum died when she was a baby, and since then her brother Sean’s always looked out for her as their father spends most of his time down the pub. But as she gets older, and the relationship between Sean and their father disintegrates, and both men battle with their own addictions, Mary ends up acting like a mother to both of them. And then Mary ends up pregnant unexpectedly and has her own boy, TJ, to raise, whilst still trying to keep her father and brother going. So it’s probably no surprise that one day TJ wakes up and can’t find Mary anywhere - after years of trying to mother everyone, something was bound to break…
This is one of those devastatingly simple stories which brilliantly captures the toll that loss and grief takes on a family through the generations. It’s a look at a fairly ordinary, albeit tragic family who have to overcome heartache and addiction - this isn’t a novel with one big defining moment or sudden plot twist, but one that captures the sadness of living with these things every day, and feels all the more powerful for that.
Mary is such a resilient character, carrying the burdens of everyone close to her and refusing to give up on her family no matter how much they let her down. At the same time, she is struggling with telling TJ the truth of his own father and that’s creating distance between them until she disappears and TJ finally understands how much she’s been going through. The story handles mental health illness and addiction in such an understanding and raw way, and is definitely a darker look at the dynamics of a family rather than an uplit type of read.
I thought this was beautifully written and tender - I found myself unable to put it down, letting myself get completely engulfed in this heartbreaking story. Yet another brilliant Irish writer to add to my auto-buy list!
July 29, 2021
3.5 stars.
It’s 02:45 am. Oops.
It’s 02:45 am. Oops.
January 29, 2022
A sensitive novel about family, grief, addiction, and motherhood. It asks the question - if you spend your life giving everything to the ones you love; do you risk losing yourself along the way? I personally enjoyed the Belfast setting & accent. (listened on audible).
August 23, 2022
Easy to read. Liked the story. Don’t know if I liked the ending though. Felt a bit rushed. Maybe I just have to give it some time 🙈
February 9, 2022
[me sobbing as jo march’s women monologue plays repeatedly in the background] motherhood can be such an unforgiving, lonely and under-appreciated time in one's life. women are so strong and put up with so much, i hope no one forgets that.
one of my favourite passages from the text:
one of my favourite passages from the text:
"Her favourite words at Bedwood are on a birch tree memorial. Gold plate on black stone. They say:
I am beside you.
She's never been sure who was beside who. Is it a message from the person left behind to the soul of the dead? Or from the dead person while they were still alive, as a message to the person they were leaving? That is it. It's the person who is dead, it's them talking from the ground. I am beside you. Everywhere you go. When you drive in the car. When you shower. When you cry into your pillow at night. I am beside you."
January 11, 2024
Yay I love Annie Mac and I loved this book!
October 14, 2023
A heartbreaking story. Loved the pace of the book and the way it was written.
April 24, 2022
There was an unopened box of pills tucked into the back of her bedside drawer. She tried to forget them because they reminded her of when she was a stranger to herself…”
Before I read Mother Mother, I was not aware of the author’s previous (and very noteworthy) DJ career. I like that she is starting a new path with her work.
Mother Mother is a book about the reality a lot of girls in their late teens face, and how these decisions follow them for decades.
I wish there were more characters that were fleshed out. I did not mind the ending, I found it realistic. But I think there was lost opportunity with some of the characters that were significant in Mary’s life, and wishing there was more reference to them.
It is probably to do with Mary’s loneliness, that there isn’t much of these other people, but I think there was a way it could have been done without changing Mary’s plot line much.
The uncomfortable references to Mary and how TJ came to be, how his father forced himself onto Mary without much care and no love was sadly well done. The language around those scenes brought feelings of nausea.
Before I read Mother Mother, I was not aware of the author’s previous (and very noteworthy) DJ career. I like that she is starting a new path with her work.
Mother Mother is a book about the reality a lot of girls in their late teens face, and how these decisions follow them for decades.
I wish there were more characters that were fleshed out. I did not mind the ending, I found it realistic. But I think there was lost opportunity with some of the characters that were significant in Mary’s life, and wishing there was more reference to them.
It is probably to do with Mary’s loneliness, that there isn’t much of these other people, but I think there was a way it could have been done without changing Mary’s plot line much.
The uncomfortable references to Mary and how TJ came to be, how his father forced himself onto Mary without much care and no love was sadly well done. The language around those scenes brought feelings of nausea.
August 12, 2021
just really really loved it
August 21, 2021
Meh. Passes the time. Blurb was better than the book.
June 16, 2022
«Her favourite words at Bedwood are on a birch tree memorial. Gold plate on black stone. They say: 'I am beside you'.
She's never been sure who was beside who. Is it a message from the person left behind to the soul of the dead? Or from the dead person while they were still alive, as a message to the person they were leaving? That is it (...)
I am beside you. Everywhere you go. When you drive in the car. When you shower, when you cry into your pillow at night. I am beside you».
She's never been sure who was beside who. Is it a message from the person left behind to the soul of the dead? Or from the dead person while they were still alive, as a message to the person they were leaving? That is it (...)
I am beside you. Everywhere you go. When you drive in the car. When you shower, when you cry into your pillow at night. I am beside you».
September 7, 2023
I went into this knowing this was a debut and I didn't expect a whole load of amazing things but wow this book was good, I can only hope I'll one day be as strong a the main character. Reminded me a bit of Claire Keegans writing but a lot less succinct obviously.
August 13, 2023
So, it was a slow start for me. I was unsure wether or not I would get into it. But after a few chapters in, I was hooked! Such a great book and a beautiful ending.
March 10, 2025
The way this book deals with generational trauma and grief is beautiful. I really like how it switches both between Mary and TJ’s pov and between the past and the present.
April 12, 2022
An affecting and assertive debut.
December 11, 2023
Holy shit, had no idea this was written by Annie mac til I read the mini bio at the end.
Heartbreaking read, but so real and raw. Agree with another reviewer that the end felt rushed, especially after Mary's reveal to tj
Heartbreaking read, but so real and raw. Agree with another reviewer that the end felt rushed, especially after Mary's reveal to tj
August 27, 2021
A sad but beautifully written story
July 2, 2021
This was such a beautiful book! Thoughts to come in a livestream with Jemima at the end of the month (on my channel) - so plenty of time to read it if you want to join in!
June 22, 2022
This was a random choice from the library so no expectations just curious on a debut novel. Read this book in a day,best way to do it! On completion realised the author was the fantastic Annie Mac. Can’t wait for a second novel….lovely story telling.
April 7, 2023
(5/5) This one destroyed me. It was so beautifully written and raw- definitely one I'll be rereading for years.
May 4, 2021
I have to admit to reading this book because I was curious. I’ve heard of Annie Mac on the radio, and I was intrigued. Oh, and I really liked the cover. This is often a reason why I choose a book: sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. It definitely worked this time.
I was sucked in to this books world, and became really emotionally invested in this story. Mary and her brother have such a hard upbringing, that what comes later seems inevitable. Regardless of this, Mary becomes a good mother. She does that thing that so many mother do, and gives up her sense of self, and her life revolves around her son, TJ. She has a job she enjoys, but she is a solitary figure. When she stops seeing her friend Louise after she finds out that she’s pregnant with TJ, there isn’t any mention of anyone else. I couldn’t help but feel that she must have been so lonely.
Mary clings on to her family, even though her father and brother probably don’t deserve her attention and love, and TJ takes advantage of her unquestioning love - like a typical teenager.
There are some pretty heavy, emotional parts in this, and I read the last few chapters through tears. I can’t believe that this is a debut - it’s so well written. It’s an easy book to recommend, and a tough book to read.
I was sucked in to this books world, and became really emotionally invested in this story. Mary and her brother have such a hard upbringing, that what comes later seems inevitable. Regardless of this, Mary becomes a good mother. She does that thing that so many mother do, and gives up her sense of self, and her life revolves around her son, TJ. She has a job she enjoys, but she is a solitary figure. When she stops seeing her friend Louise after she finds out that she’s pregnant with TJ, there isn’t any mention of anyone else. I couldn’t help but feel that she must have been so lonely.
Mary clings on to her family, even though her father and brother probably don’t deserve her attention and love, and TJ takes advantage of her unquestioning love - like a typical teenager.
There are some pretty heavy, emotional parts in this, and I read the last few chapters through tears. I can’t believe that this is a debut - it’s so well written. It’s an easy book to recommend, and a tough book to read.
December 24, 2021
Very very good debut novel. Well written, emotive and thought out. Only criticism is that the format sometimes makes it a little hard to follow/understand the context of things (people’s ages, timeline of events etc) however it becomes clearer the further you read! Would definitely recommend however not as a ‘light’ read as topics are heavy at times.
April 26, 2023
CW: R*pe, SA, PTSD, drug abuse, su*cidal ideation
Really quick read which is nice. The content and writing weren’t the best. The story and style felt very much like a knock-off Sally Rooney novel with the lack of quotation marks and the setting in Ireland. I didn’t really feel connected to the characters or their experiences. The ending was rushed, and I had a lot of questions at the end.
It was also pretty problematic that Macmanus never addressed Mary’s SA, even though that was supposed to be a central theme. Mary was made out to be a villain in her relationship with her son because she lied about his father, but she lied because he SAd her and she had PTSD. I also felt like it was super weird that her r*pist talked about his own PTSD, and it seemed like Macmanus wanted the reader to feel bad for him.
The book focused a lot of mental health, but Macmanus never unpacked the feelings or even really talked about them. It felt like she put a lot of the plot points in because she wanted to the story to be more interesting or edgy.
Really quick read which is nice. The content and writing weren’t the best. The story and style felt very much like a knock-off Sally Rooney novel with the lack of quotation marks and the setting in Ireland. I didn’t really feel connected to the characters or their experiences. The ending was rushed, and I had a lot of questions at the end.
It was also pretty problematic that Macmanus never addressed Mary’s SA, even though that was supposed to be a central theme. Mary was made out to be a villain in her relationship with her son because she lied about his father, but she lied because he SAd her and she had PTSD. I also felt like it was super weird that her r*pist talked about his own PTSD, and it seemed like Macmanus wanted the reader to feel bad for him.
The book focused a lot of mental health, but Macmanus never unpacked the feelings or even really talked about them. It felt like she put a lot of the plot points in because she wanted to the story to be more interesting or edgy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 29, 2021
Recommended via book club.
This didn’t stand out to me. I don’t normally love present tense narration and this choice along with other factors (the author rarely uses contractions in verbs, opting for “I will” instead of I’ll etc) made the prose feel staid and clunky. I also found it quite predictable. The storyline is very dour and bleak (which isn’t for me in general - nothing to do with the authors skill). I thought the book’s strength was in making you care for Mary.
“She tried to forget about them because they reminded her of when she was a stranger to herself”
“It was like he had lost the essence of who he was”
This didn’t stand out to me. I don’t normally love present tense narration and this choice along with other factors (the author rarely uses contractions in verbs, opting for “I will” instead of I’ll etc) made the prose feel staid and clunky. I also found it quite predictable. The storyline is very dour and bleak (which isn’t for me in general - nothing to do with the authors skill). I thought the book’s strength was in making you care for Mary.
“She tried to forget about them because they reminded her of when she was a stranger to herself”
“It was like he had lost the essence of who he was”
Read
July 15, 2023Poorly informed, highly judgmental, misguided and extremely aggressive. Not at all good with people. Given half a chance still bangs on about Detroit techno. Has been known to hack the devices of BBC listeners, entering their homes (and cars) uninvited and stealing data which is then used to flog band merchandise for which a cut is taken. All this and much worse besides. 0 stars. A cheap and nasty populist who is "all about the hustle". An unnatural hag who could do with reading a few books. P.S. Lovin The Blessed Madonna and the amazing and musically literate Deb Grant.
July 6, 2021
This was such a page-turner! I think I read it in about 3 sittings, and when I was reading I completely fell into the story. Macmanus's writing is really compelling, and I loved how the dialogue was interwoven with the main narrative - emphasising how much of this book is steeped in memory and our relationships with our past. Overall, this is a really beautiful book about grief, motherhood, and family.
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