The Hypocrite: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Shana Granderson

What would happen if Miss Elizabeth Bennet took Darcy to task over the hypocrisy that she sees in some of his behaviour after his horrendous proposal and her reading the letter in Hunsford. What if the Bennets were not penniless and unconnected? For the purposes of this story great wealth is assumed, the source of the wealth is explained in the book. Will Darcy choose to acknowledge the rectitude of Miss Elizabeth’s reproofs or will he reject them in pride and conceit?

Does he have the fortitude to change and how will knowing the Bennets affect those around him? Bingley in this variation is closer to his irresolute character that we see in canon. That is the only similarity that your will see in him my dear reader. There are villains but they are not the focus of the story.

You will find all of your favourite characters from canon with a few new ones added in to broaden the tale. I trust that you will enjoy my effort.

572 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 1, 2020

About the author

I have three children and after a disastrous first marriage I found my soul mate who I thought that was lost to me over 25 years ago. I recently married the love of my life. I live with my soul mate in Australasia and have three pets, two cats, Darcy and Bingley and a golden lab, Honey.

Like many high school students, Pride and Prejudice was assigned to me in an English literature class. It was not my favourite book, but I read it as I had to. I forgot about the book until in my 30’s when I saw and fell in love with the 1995 Pride and Prejudice version made for TV in England, and purchased a copy of the DVD that is now much played.

The tipping point was the 2005 big screen adaption of P&P. Not long after seeing it I found and read the complete works of Jane Austen on Amazon, starting with Pride and Prejudice. The latter book is by far my favourite. After I read it three of four times over, I wistfully said to myself: ‘it is a great pity that Miss Austen never wrote a sequel to her seminal novel.' One day I was searching Kindle books and for the fun of it I entered “Pride and Prejudice Sequel’ into the search not expecting any results.

The rest is history. I discovered the JAFF community and books. I became a veracious reader of JAFF books and once I had devoured all of the sequels and continuations that I could find, I read my first variation. I had been resisting variations wrongly thinking that I would not enjoy them as much as the sequels. Boy, was I ever wrong! Today I am the proud owner of well over 1,000 JAFF novels that I have purchased on Amazon. 'A Change of Fortunes' is my first book that I wrote. There are a number of others on the way.

Reviews

[Ree · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ridiculously Far-fetched
No, no, no. There is barely a page in this book that is believable to me. It begins almost immediately at the beginning with a demeaning, haughtily-rude scolding of Darcy by Elizabeth. It was beyond cruel and demeaning in my view. The author follows this by writing—

“If he had been surprised by her taking him to task after his ill-advised proposal, it was nothing to the way he had just been eviscerated.”

“Emasculated” is more apropos. (see book cover) Sheesh! Had I been Darcy, I would have been overjoyed at having escaped such a match. This is a horrible portrayal of Elizabeth. The way Darcy responds is hardly better, but one can at least feel sorry for the poor man (again, see book cover). He accepts to reduce himself to staying mute— her condition to letting him hear her response to his letter, totally stripping his manhood in the process. I just can’t with this book.

I love non-canon storylines, but they MUST be believable. Even though there is some truth to Darcy’s hypocrisy in judging her family to be beneath him in consequence and wealth (he doesn’t know she’s rich yet), and for his interference with Jane and Bingley while overlooking the faults in his own family (Lady Cat), is she any less culpable in her most haughty and imperious manner in which she addresses him and others in the book? This encounter is without exception to my experience in reading JAFF “the” worst Elizabeth monologue I’ve ever read. Which leads me to dialogue. There is hardly any naturally conversant dialogue anywhere in the book. From that initial set down of Darcy after his proposal, the book is a continuous, overly exaggerated narrative interspersed with speeches or lectures by the characters.

The Bennets and Gardiners are beyond filthy rich, become titled, visit with the Queen (who is not as rich), and own or have controlling interests in multiple estates and businesses, including London’s gentlemen’s clubs, Hatcher’s and Gunter’s—and a thirty-five percent share in The East India Company, and…not to mention mines and property on multiple continents. Eye roll. Just too much!

From that initial set down of Darcy after his proposal, the book is one continuous speech or lecture by the characters, primarily Elizabeth. I found the writing had a mean-spirited bent, especially towards the Bingleys and Lady Catherine. Sure they are villains, but the actions taken as a result seemed over the top.

Filled with various characters finding their way to becoming couples, there is barely a sense of true romance. Every wedding follows, then every pregnancy—Elizabeth has triplets of course. Then the epilogue is nothing but reminiscent of reading all the begats from the Book of Genesis.

Despite it all, I give the author credit for trying, which is way more than I would or could do. I made myself finish this book so you wouldn’t have to. Sorry, I can’t recommend this one.

[J. W. Garrett · Rating 3 out of 5]

[KU] The Hypocrite: Shana Granderson: 3-stars
“Your hypocrisy insults my intelligence.” –Toba Beta

SPOILER ALERT: This review may contain *** SPOILERS ***

>>Rating: Mature: sexually descriptive scenes: pre-wedding night discussion and wedding night scenes, violence, insanity, attempted murder, you know… the usual.
>>Angst Level: numerous villains jacked the angst up a bit. Most were taken out within the first several chapters.
>>Source: Borrowed KU 1-29-23 with no expectations of a review. The views and opinions expressed are my own.
>>Trope: The Bennet family has wealth and connections that would make one swoon. Seriously.

“The only vice that cannot be forgiven is hypocrisy. The repentance of a hypocrite is itself hypocrisy.” --William Hazlitt, Selected Essays, 1779-1830

Not my favorite by this author. It was long. It was very Long. It was really LONG! IT WAS AWFULLY LONG!!! Dang! I absolutely thought this would NEVER end. I enjoy epilogues, but this one went on and on.

Hidden within all the repetition, redundancies, and the over and over [get the picture] emphasis on being a hypocrite… was a fabulous story that was choked out due to the weeds. I kept reading to get to the end of the story and almost didn’t finish. It got to the point I no longer cared what happened. It was so long, I couldn’t read it in a day or two and soon forgot what the first part of the story was about. Seriously. I wanted to give it more stars but 3.5 would round to 4 and I just couldn’t do it. There were parts that I really liked but everything was two, three, or four pages when a paragraph would have sufficed. I’m not kidding. The parts I liked, I really enjoyed. That thread was lost the further into the story we went as were the errors. It morphed into something else.

I hate having to do this but I cannot recommend it. Unless you have the time and endurance… don’t even waste your time. It’s a shame as there were nuggets of gold in them-there-hills.

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

Jesus Christ, this was boring.

I waited a couple of days to see if my opinion of this book mellowed but it did not happen. This was a dragged out story with dozens of side characters with absolutely nothing to add to the plot and the fact that the Bennets were richer than Croesus and that Mrs. Bennet suddenly stopped being obnoxious and meddlesome because she found out was just ridiculous. It was just a whole bunch of Mary Sues and Marty Stus, the "villains" disappeared from the story in the first quarter of the book, there was absolutely nothing happening except the Bennets' fortune growing and they becoming more important and influential than royalty. This was time wasted.

This book needs a ruthless editor and a proofreader, there were so many typos and grammar mistakes! And it needs a heavy trim to at least make sense and be somewhat enjoyable. I'm not declaring it the worst book I've ever read but it could certainly be much, much better.

[Madenna U · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book started out with a great premise and wonderful dialogue. After Darcy presents Elizabeth the post proposal letter in Hunsford, she asks him to return so they can discuss it. She gives an amazing speech regarding his hypocrisy and incorrect information he has regarding her status in life. She is no only personally more wealthy than he, but also has superior connections. Amazingly, it turns on a light bulb regarding what kind of person he has become and he doesn't like what he sees.

As he requests feedback from family, learns to be a better person, and convince Elizabeth he is worthy of him - there is a LOT of stuff. A lot of it doesn't need to be there. The story outlines the layout of most of the buildings (what is on each floor, etc.), detail of what is available at which tea service (just cakes or also fruit?), and describes sources of fortune. There are happily ever after stories for people who I can't tell have any impact on our dear couple. The typical bad people are disposed of with little effort. There are SO many characters that it is challenging to keep track of them all - including royalty.

There is a minuscule amount of angst in this story. The only thing dragging it out 573 pages is whether or not Elizabeth will get over the past and accept Darcy. Once she does, the story dives into everyone having kids. Finally, there is a very detailed epilogue outlining all the cross marriages and incredible fortunes.

[Renee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Before I start the review, I downloaded the original book before it was taken down to be re-edited. I deleted the book then downloaded it again after it was rereleased. I never read the unedited version but the second version really needs editing also. There are missed words, misspelled words and run on sentences that are just hard to understand. And there are no breaks to let you know the scene is changing. One paragraph will be discussing a character then the next paragraph will be about a different character all together.

Other than that the book is just ok. I usually am a fast reader and can finish a book this size in about a day. Not this one. It took me almost a week. Why? Because I was honestly bored. I spent my time highlighting errors. There are too many characters to keep up with. The Bennet’s are perfect. Everyone loves them or is jealous of them. Everyone gives someone a set down. The most ridiculous one was between Mary, Jane and Darcy. I really wanted to stop reading at this point but I pushed through. Oh and any drama is cleared up in the first 30%(?) of the book so after that the rest of the book is just showing off how rich and powerful the family is. I’m really not an angst lover but really this book needed something besides Darcy apologizing every few pages to EVERYONE. Elizabeth repeating Darcy’s proposal to anyone who will listen and every extra person finding their one true love and lives happily ever after.

[Gratia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Epic

I read the revised version, not having read the original. The low angst story could have reasonably ended with the vanquishing of all of the villains. For the readers who enjoy finding out about the HEAs, this story has it in spades. I would have preferred Elizabeth not dragging out the courtship scenario, but it did mirror her criticisms of Darcy in his terrible Hunsford proposal. Enjoyable read if you are able to keep track of the entire cast of characters!

[Tori · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was too much: the Bennets and Gardiners were too wealthy, there were too many long descriptions, and too much length for not enough plot.

Elizabeth was also as much of a hypocrite as Darcy. She points out the flaws of both Darcy and Bingley, but ignores the flaws of her own father. I think Mr. Bennet is one of the villains of this piece of JAFF; he is wealthy enough to give each daughter a dowry of 250,000 pounds, but never tells his wife or younger daughters they have more than 1,000 pounds each or that he owns at least 2 unentailed properties. He allows his wife to worry about being thrown into the hedgerows upon his death whole knowing he has more money than the royal family.

The descriptions are endless. We don't need to know about the 60 guest chambers in every manor house or the description of what rooms are on each floor when the description doesn't advance the plot. We also don't need to the nicknames of each Bennet grandchild that appears in the epilogue, or the details of their own marriages 20 some years after the end of the story.

This is another story where Darcy is forgiven but Bingley is punished.

[Carol Harlow · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found the concepts on which the book is based way OTT, but I suppose if you wish to depart from the canon you may as well go the whole hog. Originally I found it an entertaining read, but was deterred by the overwhelming number (200 plus and counting) of typos, wrong spellings - of which the most ridiculous was "imminently" for "eminently" - and wayward punctuation.

There's also a lot of padding - we know that Caroline is obsessed, Bingley weak-willed and Lady
Catherine despotic, so we don't need it repeated at frequent intervals. We also don't need to know the minutiae of refreshments and the repetition of titles, many of them wrongly presented; and phrases such as "the weak, determinedly irresolute man" or "the panicking coward" could have been replaced simply by "he" on many occasions.

I was also put off by the toe-curlingly florid dialogue, especially between the lovers, which I defy anyone to say out loud with a straight face.

[Teresita · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found that this story has a good concept but it repeat things a lot and needs to be reviewed by an editor.

I liked the concept and the development of the story but I think that with a good edition it would be a really incredible story.

[Debbie L Yates · Rating 1 out of 5]

The most boring P&P Variation I've ever TRIED to read

First off, the book was entirely too long and could have used an editor. It had no twists or turns, no storyline and focused solely on wealth, titles, social elevation and royal connections. There were so many brothers, sisters and titled characters that it became confusing to follow. The book was nothing more than a repetitious run-on. The bashing of Darcy by the Bennett sisters became ridiculous, certainly not lady like, and to the point I came to dislike them. It was as if the writer had a personal vendetta against Darcy. I suppose Darcy would not have gotten a title without a betrothal to Elizabeth. He should have dumped her early in the book rather than mooning after her like a heart sick puppy dog regardless of her indecisiveness. I generally finish each book, no matter how poorly written, but with this one, I finally decided to waste no more of my time. Thumbs down on this one.

[Deena H · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot

Not short. Not sweet. Nothing like the synopsis . It was very long. LOTS of different characters introduced and at times I didn't know who was talking. You would have to stop and go back to remember who was who. It also seemed a little juvenile in the way that Elizabeth and the Bennetts in general could 'do no wrong'. They somehow were made perfect and correct ALL the Time. It was just A LOT. Not badly written, but not a favorite.

[Craftyhj · Rating 3 out of 5]

Endearing but too long

This is P&P escapism offering the reader enjoyable fluff. Yes, as other reviewers have commented, the finances are fantastical and there are too many errors which need correcting, but this is an endearing read.

[lori huff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Satisfying

Although this author's JAFF variations become somewhat repetitive, they're fun and satisfying to read because the main characters are more forthright than the usual Regency era romances, and because the villains get the most spectacular comeuppances. This story reimagines the Bennett family as having vast wealth, due to Mr Bennett's foresight, and Uncle Gardiners' brilliance in business. When the Bingleys and Darcy come to Netherfield Park, the Bennetts are concealing their wealth from everyone in order to avoid fortune hunters. Only Mr Bennett, Jane and Elizabeth (along with the Gardiners) know about the wealth. Darcy delivers his insult at the Meryton assembly, and as per usual, finally succumbs to his attraction to Elizabeth during her visit to Charlotte Collins at Rosings. He performs his awful proposal, is roundly refused, and writes her the letter defending himself against her accusations. This time, however, she wants to discuss the letter with him, and this is when she rakes Darcy over the coals for being a hypocrite.

Elizabeth's setdown to Darcy is epic and wonderful. The usual villains, namely Caroline Bingley, Lady Catherine, and Wickham, each get what's coming to them. The Bennetts aren't just wealthy, they're obscenely wealthy, and this fact changes the whole dynamic for the family. The author has a population of accessory characters that she uses in most of her books, so it's kind of like seeing old familiar faces.

I deducted a star for a couple of reasons. One is the dizzying amount of accessory characters involved, and how they're named in detail with every little change in situation and location. The other reason is the exaggerated extent of wealth in the Bennett family, and even in most of their connections. It seemed excessive, obscene, and unnecessary. Just an average amount of wealth would have been less intimidating, and less ridiculous.

The book is well written and well edited. I recommend it highly.

[Rachel Fuente · Rating 2 out of 5]

NOTE: I borrowed this book from Kindle Unlimited on February 27, 2023.

I have to say, if this is actually a “new and edited version,” then I feel exceedingly sorry for anyone who attempted to muddle their way through the original.

I will acknowledge that The Hypocrite has promise. The underlying story is exactly what’s promised: “a low angst, sweet and clean tale.” The errors, however, are atrocious.

I didn’t keep count, but it felt as though I found a new error every couple of pages. If you can think of a type of error, The Hypocrite had it: misused words, grammatical errors, missing words or phrases, misspellings, the list goes on.

On top of this, the author inserts vocabulary that is either outdated or exceedingly rare in today’s world. This would make sense if the entire story were written in that fashion, but it’s only occasional, often closely followed by one or more errors, including misused words. It feels as though the author attempted to shoehorn elevated vocabulary into her story, but couldn’t be bothered to run a simple spelling and grammar check.

And, while I won’t spend much time on it, The Hypocrite would benefit from a story edit as well. There are places that drag on, and most building descriptions push the limit of suspended disbelief. I’m thankful I read this on a free Kindle Unlimited trial. I would have been angry if I’d actually spent money on it.

[William Hovey · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars rounded up to 5

As promised this is a low angst story that follows the personal growth and development of Darcy and Elizabeth after the disaster of the first proposal. While this reader loved the story, there were so many other family members’ tales included that it was sometimes difficult to keep them straight. All the included family members, along with the expected villains, had interesting and unexpected stories themselves. The number of additional characters and stories, plus the editing errors, resulted in the one-half star deduction.

The Bennet wealth was a surprise for its extent and initial secrecy. That wealth and resulting family prominence provided the foundation for many events throughout the book. However, as a consequence, the Bennet sisters’ personalities were certainly different from canon.

I am sure that some readers will not like or appreciate this book because it will seem repetitive and lacking interaction between ODC. This reader loved all the secondary characters and their individual stories, not least because each secondary story had something to teach Elizabeth or Darcy.

While I loved this book and recommend it highly, future readers should believe the author’s description/warning not to expect lots of angst and accounts of villainous plotting with appropriate punishment delivered. The book is a wonderful story that tells the life stories of all the Bennet, Darcy, de Bourgh, and Bingley families.

[Lauren Magoon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful

The story itself was delightful. My only complaint with the actual story, which perhaps couldn't be avoided with all the Bennett girls, was that there was such a large cast of characters that keeping straight who was Lord\Lady Whatever was a bit hairy. The reason I only gave it 4 stars was that there were a few grammatical and spelling errors that could have easily been fixed with an editor or proofreader but were not attended to. I find that very jarring as I'm reading. Otherwise a delightful spin on a classic.

[Lizzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very detailed and well written

This story is very well flushed out. There are some scenes that are similar if not very nearly the same as in "A Change Of Fortunes". The epilogue very nicely describes all lose ends and gives a big glimpse into the HEA of all the extended family. There are paragraphs or more where I think it could be summarized but it is a very good well flushed out story.

[Adele · Rating 2 out of 5]

Over the top. This could have been multiple books. The villains were somewhat shallow, the heroes a little too shiny. I lost count of how many couples found their Happily Ever After.
The plot was clever but all
The problems had such quick and easy resolutions I felt like I missed out on what could have been done great stories.
And for goodness sake use something other than spell check to review the document. So many grammar and spelling errors.

[gwen christensen · Rating 3 out of 5]

OK

Well she had me right up to the middle of the first chapter. If you like P&Ps where the Bennett are suddenly Royal, have millions of pounds, are, are,are,are. Well what's wrong with Elizabeth being worthy of a arrogant Mr Darcy she the way Miss Austin imagined her, why does someone have to be wealth in order to be worthy. Oh well Ms. Graderson. is very talented, I just do not care for this scenario

[Stanley Toto · Rating 3 out of 5]

Way too long!

OMG! Well I enjoy the first 40% of the book, the rest was way to long & often to tedious, overly repeated and often unnecessary information. The pages could’ve been cut in half in my opinion. Furthermore, for a fiction it was way too unrealistic or to idealistic for my taste. Sorry, while I have liked this writers other P & P variants, this was my least favorite. Mrs T.

[Rebecca Curell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice premise

This book has a good premise, but it drags. All conflict is resolved in the first 30% of the book, so for the remainder it's just things getting more and more awesome for everyone. Great for the characters, but rather boring for a reader. There are also many repetitive parts, which I found myself skimming to get through.

[Kimbelle Pease · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book, while may have some areas for improvement and has a fantastical setup of money for those often noted without any, is a well imagined, new twist on a tale many have long known and changed. It is worth the time to read, if maybe with a non-critical eye to grammar and reality. It is fiction, so does reality matter? Very well enjoyed.

[Pet · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like this authors Lizzy‘s, they are how I imagine she was written to be, strong, pert, take no prisoners but also kind and loving. I also love that Mr. And Mrs. Bennet get a do over. This book involved the whole family with so many. New characters added it took concentration to keep them all on track, but well worth the effort..

[Isabel Cerchiaro · Rating 1 out of 5]

My god! It’s so full of inconsistencies! So many typos, so many words missing. Worst of all is the lack of understanding of the Austen mind. How many nobles appear throughout all Austen books? In this one, everyone is a noble. The girls dowry is so phenomenal that’s is utterly unbelievable! I hated it.

[Nan · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some fun moments here. But overall, just, no. This book has the most padding I've ever seen; it could be cut by 2/3 without losing any of the storyline. Not one of the major characters is believable. And, while this is supposedly a re-edited version, there are still incomplete sentences and other errors that could be fixed by any competent editor.
Could not finish.

[RTD · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay

The book had some good parts, but became repetitive. The same information being recycled and wealth and title constantly being mentioned made the story drag a bit. It wasn't all bad, but maybe too much flaunting.

[Mariska · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good Story!

I love the premise and the beginning of this story. I don't like that the moment Darcy takes his scolding to heart that Elizabeth starts to immediately fall for him. It comes across as very much a childhood fairytale.

[Nan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did not finish. Too long, after most of the major characters were taken care in the first third of the story I had to stop. It was just too much with so many titled people constantly being mentioned. Too much.

[Terri Conley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is outrageous is stories and people lots and lots of people. Not my favorite way to tell Mozzies and Darcies story.they just get in the way.

[Kathleen Hoke · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too long!

I love long books, if they are good I never want them to end. I did not enjoy this story, I think it required a good editor.